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We’re not just here to bring you the best web dramas — we’re also part of a powerful wellness network for men that cares about your performance both on screen… and in the bedroom.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00This episode of Parental Guidance contains references to eating disorders.
00:00:05Some viewers may find this topic challenging. Viewer discretion is advised.
00:00:11Parenting is the privilege of a lifetime.
00:00:14It's just a different kind of love that I can't even explain.
00:00:18But with privilege comes an even greater responsibility.
00:00:22In a special event series of Parental Guidance,
00:00:25we're hitting the most crucial topics facing parents today.
00:00:29Take a breath. This is confronting content.
00:00:33Previously, we uncovered the dangerous minefields of screen time.
00:00:38The most popular online gaming platform is a pedophile hellscape.
00:00:42And peer pressure.
00:00:44Do you let somebody take a naked photo of you?
00:00:47No.
00:00:49Tonight, we confront a generation's worrying obsession with body image.
00:00:54At its worst is I have met the devil.
00:00:58I don't know if I would know how to navigate that.
00:01:01Four new parenting styles are having the hard conversations.
00:01:06Pillars and Botox is the norm these days.
00:01:08Australia needs to have.
00:01:10We have an obesity crisis in this country.
00:01:13And we aren't parents with the tools.
00:01:15Go, go, go.
00:01:16Go guys, come on.
00:01:17Incredible.
00:01:18Oh, Dad's incredible.
00:01:20Makes me need me.
00:01:21To navigate their way through.
00:01:22We love you.
00:01:23We love you too.
00:01:24This is, for me, an area that requires immediate intervention.
00:01:29Focus parents, welcome.
00:01:44Nice to see you.
00:01:45Nice to see you.
00:01:46Hi.
00:01:47Josh and Cassie.
00:01:48Hi.
00:01:49Hi.
00:01:50Nick and Sophia.
00:01:51Hello.
00:01:52Panel parents, welcome.
00:01:54Hey, guys.
00:01:55Good to see you.
00:01:56Grab that seat.
00:01:57Buckle up.
00:01:59Nice to see you, parents.
00:02:01Welcome to the boot camp of parenting.
00:02:04We've handpicked eight sets of parents to take us through the tough obstacle course that is modern parenting.
00:02:12Or to find out which way is the right way to deal with the biggest issues that face Australian parents today.
00:02:20Tonight, we're diving into one of the biggest parenting minefields yet.
00:02:26Body image.
00:02:28When we're talking about body image, we're talking about healthy eating, regular exercise, and having a positive view of your body.
00:02:39This is complicated.
00:02:40Eat well, but you know, not obsessively.
00:02:41Exercise, but don't go too hard.
00:02:42But how do we actually parent for this?
00:02:55Some of these conversations will be really difficult.
00:02:57I just want you all to know that.
00:03:00Tonight, four new focus parents are in the hot seat.
00:03:07Your parenting style is going to be assessed across the number of challenges themed around body image.
00:03:14And over here, you guys, you're our panel parents.
00:03:18So watch carefully and take notes.
00:03:21Later, you'll be voting on the parenting style you think is most effective when it comes to body image.
00:03:29Okay, let's get to know our focus parents.
00:03:35Let's run through our parenting styles.
00:03:38Elvie and Sean.
00:03:40We are authoritative parents.
00:03:42We have high expectations on our children.
00:03:44In the meantime, we set strict rules and boundaries.
00:03:47Say cheese.
00:03:48Cheese.
00:03:49Thanks, Mom.
00:03:51As authoritative parents, we don't really give our children too much choice.
00:03:57To be good in piano, you do need a lot of practicing.
00:04:01Elvie says the rules in the family.
00:04:03You only have 20 minutes left.
00:04:05Okay.
00:04:06The girls and I obey.
00:04:11We want them to be academically successful to get into a good profession.
00:04:17We also make sure our children have enough physical activities, balanced diet and health consciousness
00:04:24for long-term success.
00:04:28So you're basically setting the goal high for them.
00:04:30Yeah.
00:04:31They can work towards it.
00:04:32Yes.
00:04:33We set rules.
00:04:34We have high expectations.
00:04:35However, the most important thing in our view is their health and happiness.
00:04:40Nick and Sophia.
00:04:41We're the positivity parents where confidence is key.
00:04:44Hey, Bestie.
00:04:50As positivity parents, we build up our children's self-esteem every single day by doing positive affirmations.
00:04:56I can't hear you.
00:04:57You've got to say it loud.
00:04:58I am unstoppable.
00:04:59Yes, you are.
00:05:00I am exceptional.
00:05:01You are.
00:05:02We've been blessed in the fact that Sophia is able to work from home as a content creator
00:05:07and she's incorporated our children within that sphere.
00:05:10One, two.
00:05:11Hey, Bestie.
00:05:13One, two.
00:05:16We do teach our children to have a healthy lifestyle.
00:05:19The girls do competitive dance.
00:05:22Each day the girls are dancing and having fun and being fit.
00:05:26Beautiful.
00:05:27They love being physical.
00:05:28I think it's pretty cool that you've got such a positive outlook with that positive energy.
00:05:35I think that's impressive.
00:05:38They're really cute too.
00:05:40And Amanda and Hassan.
00:05:41We choose to parent the hard way.
00:05:43We don't take shortcuts.
00:05:44It's hard on us but easy and fun for the kids.
00:05:46Everyone say cheese.
00:05:47Say cheese.
00:05:48Yeah.
00:05:49As hard way parents, there's no easy way out.
00:05:54We don't leave anyone behind.
00:05:56We all go do things together.
00:05:58Ah, yes.
00:05:59Come on.
00:06:00When it comes to food, we don't allow junk.
00:06:02We try to make everything from scratch.
00:06:04The easy way of parenting is giving your children soft drink, lollies, jug, take out.
00:06:09Take out.
00:06:10That's the easy way.
00:06:11Sorry, nuggets and chips.
00:06:12That's not very healthy for your children.
00:06:13That's not.
00:06:14We actually choose to parent our children.
00:06:16We model good behaviour when it comes to body image.
00:06:21Well done.
00:06:22High five.
00:06:23You can put kids down really quickly with your words.
00:06:26When they feel that we're happy and proud of them, they feel proud of themselves.
00:06:32Everything you said literally sounds like us.
00:06:34We do.
00:06:35You get out, yeah.
00:06:36Even with the kids, you're playing basketball with them, you're in the pool with them.
00:06:39That's what we do.
00:06:40Yeah.
00:06:41We're having fun.
00:06:42We play with our kids.
00:06:43We want to have fun with them.
00:06:44Yeah.
00:06:45Josh and Cassie.
00:06:46We are the life school parents and we use real life experiences to educate our kids.
00:06:52Smile.
00:06:56As a family of seven, we live in our truck and caravan travelling around Australia.
00:07:02We've been travelling for like three years, but haven't been to school for four years.
00:07:06We just choose life schooling is a better way to learn.
00:07:09What we are doing is a variant of home schooling, taking it out of the classroom and into the real world.
00:07:17Tests and school curriculums are not important.
00:07:19No, they're not important.
00:07:20They're outdated.
00:07:21Yeah.
00:07:22Yeah.
00:07:23Oh, boys.
00:07:24Look what we got.
00:07:25I'm a crunchy mum.
00:07:26100%.
00:07:27Yeah.
00:07:28Limited technology.
00:07:29Using natural remedies, limiting pharmaceuticals, this sort of thing.
00:07:34Oh, I think you got further than Spencer.
00:07:37And are we going against the norm?
00:07:39100% we are.
00:07:40100% we're going against the norm.
00:07:41Kids are healthy.
00:07:42Anyone can see that.
00:07:43Yeah.
00:07:44Well done, Jasper.
00:07:47I think it looks lovely.
00:07:48It looks just like such a lovely lifestyle, getting travelling around with the kids and
00:07:52having them outdoors and in nature.
00:07:54I love it.
00:07:56How do your kids feel about not going to school?
00:07:58Like have they came and told you they want to go to school?
00:08:00How would you handle it?
00:08:01They do.
00:08:02We check in with them regularly and we're like, do you guys want to go to school?
00:08:05And they're like, no.
00:08:06But there is certain things they'll learn in the classroom from like someone that's been to
00:08:10university and dump the curriculum that you can't possibly teach them.
00:08:14I will just push back a little bit on that because what can the educational system teach
00:08:19that we don't have the tools to teach our children?
00:08:22You know, with technology like YouTube and things, I have tools and resources I can lean
00:08:26on.
00:08:27So I am fully confident that if their pursuit and their desire was to become a doctor,
00:08:32they're going to go pursue that.
00:08:34Your kid's got confidence.
00:08:35Yeah.
00:08:36They're learning.
00:08:37They're outside.
00:08:38They're doing things with their hands.
00:08:39They're building things already.
00:08:40I guarantee you.
00:08:41Does that mean, though, we don't need schools?
00:08:42No, not at all.
00:08:43No, I'm not saying we don't need schools.
00:08:44So we can all sort of teach ourselves on the internet.
00:08:46I just don't think school's for everybody.
00:08:48No.
00:08:49Yeah.
00:08:50But a child's not going to know that if the parent doesn't give them the opportunity.
00:08:52When I've only got five kids to focus on, out of anyone in the world, Cass and I
00:08:57have their best interests at heart.
00:09:00All right.
00:09:01Let's get into it.
00:09:03Panel parents, don't forget to take notes.
00:09:05It is time for our focus families to face their first challenge.
00:09:12For many of us, looking in the mirror is just part of the morning routine.
00:09:17But for kids and teens with rapidly changing bodies, it can be a moment of self-doubt.
00:09:23In this challenge, we asked you to do something simple, but it's incredibly revealing.
00:09:29Stand in front of a mirror with your child and talk openly about their bodies.
00:09:36The stats around body image are deeply troubling.
00:09:40Nearly half of teenagers have skipped school because of body image concerns.
00:09:45And more than a third have avoided physical activities because they don't feel confident in their own bodies.
00:09:54So, how do they really see themselves?
00:09:58Let's have a look.
00:10:00Come and have a look at a text message.
00:10:02Ooh, what do your kids think about their bodies?
00:10:06Parents, time for a body image check-in.
00:10:10In this challenge, we want to see what our parents have role-modelled when it comes to valuing their bodies.
00:10:16As life school parents, our kids don't have access to, like, the mainstream peer pressure to keep up with a certain image.
00:10:24They don't have Instagram and things like that where body image is, you know, constantly in front of them to compare themselves against.
00:10:32Hey Kingsley.
00:10:33What?
00:10:34Can you tell me what you like most about your body?
00:10:37My hair.
00:10:38Your hair.
00:10:39What don't you like about your body the most?
00:10:42Don't know.
00:10:43You don't know?
00:10:44What do you like most about yourself in the mirror?
00:10:48Muscles.
00:10:49Because they can help me with a lot of things that I do.
00:10:54And what do you like least about your body?
00:10:56Nothing.
00:10:57Nothing you like least about your body.
00:11:02You got the boys.
00:11:03I've got the girls.
00:11:04Let's go boys.
00:11:05As hard way parents, we want to teach them that positive body image is very important.
00:11:09It's very important to believe in yourself and not believe in what other people tell you you are.
00:11:12So Mohamed?
00:11:13Yeah?
00:11:14What do you like about your body?
00:11:16It's healthy.
00:11:17Mm-hmm.
00:11:18And that my hands could pick up things and I could mainly do everything with my body.
00:11:23Anything you don't like about your body?
00:11:25I like everything.
00:11:26Oh, beautiful.
00:11:29I'm a teacher, a high school teacher.
00:11:31I see this every single day with students that I teach.
00:11:34They are very self-aware of their body and the way they look.
00:11:38What do you like about your body, Lemise?
00:11:40I like my eyes and my hair.
00:11:43What don't you like about your body?
00:11:45My nose.
00:11:46Your nose? Why?
00:11:47I know.
00:11:48We live in a world where having fillers and Botox and plastic surgery is, sorry, the norm these days.
00:11:54And I want our children to know that they don't have to change the way they look to be beautiful.
00:12:00Come in front of this, Mira.
00:12:03As an authoritative parent, from an oriental background, we are quite conservative talking about our body, even between mother and daughters.
00:12:14How do you feel about your body image?
00:12:18I like my hair and my teeth.
00:12:21I have bunions because I do ballet.
00:12:24I have acne, which is kind of sad.
00:12:27I want to be taller.
00:12:29You want to be 10 cm or more taller?
00:12:32Like, from my age.
00:12:34I think the K-pop entertainment has greatly impacted Daisy's perceptions of the right body image.
00:12:42Pop culture is sending a message to the children that you need to be thin, you need to be tall to look pretty.
00:12:51As we age, we start to get freckles.
00:12:54I honestly think you look pretty good for your age.
00:12:59Aww.
00:13:03So I just wrote a note here about the boys, they saw their abilities and what their bodies can do, whereas girls see their physical features.
00:13:11I noticed that a bit, yeah.
00:13:13Amanda, you talked there about girls and fillers and Botox.
00:13:19I don't want them to feel pressure that they have to fix up the way their face looks just because, you know, other people are doing that.
00:13:26I get Botox and I don't see a problem with it.
00:13:31It's nothing that crazy and I don't think there should be, like, such a stigma around it.
00:13:38And by me getting Botox, I don't feel like it's teaching my daughters that they need to get it.
00:13:44They don't know that I've had it done.
00:13:46I've never done anything to my face or body and I don't dye my hair.
00:13:49I just believe that if I want my children to believe that they are perfect the way they are, which I believe they are, then I need to reflect that in my behaviour.
00:13:58If I don't focus on my wrinkles or my age or my weight, then my kids won't either.
00:14:06Mothers that want to get Botox, I think they possibly need a psychologist to see if it's in the danger zones or healthy zones or whatever.
00:14:14I've had Botox before.
00:14:15I don't think it's bad to role model Botox and villas as a parent, is it?
00:14:20Do you?
00:14:24A World Health Organisation study found that what predicted who was going to have body image issues was not body size, but gender.
00:14:35Plastic surgery, GLP-1 drugs, the people who take advantage of them, more than 80% of them are female.
00:14:41We have a different conversation around bodies for men and boys compared to girls and women.
00:14:49Do we need to do better for girls? Is that what you're saying?
00:14:52We need to do much better for girls.
00:14:54The way that we talk about our bodies, the emphasis that we place on appearance and the behaviours that we model are all going to profoundly influence our girls' body perception.
00:15:07The most important thing that we can teach our children about body image is self-acceptance and treat themselves with love and respect.
00:15:19Coming up, a body image confession.
00:15:25I didn't like my body at all.
00:15:28And the dark side to Australia's wellness mania.
00:15:32I don't like watching children go through stuff like that.
00:15:35Then later, one parenting style comes under fire.
00:15:39They are not just behind, they're several years behind.
00:15:46I just need an ego boost to talk to you.
00:15:52Ego boost.
00:15:54Tonight we're getting into one of the most important and challenging topics in parenting.
00:15:59It's body image.
00:16:00And we're looking at how our focus kids see themselves in the mirror.
00:16:06Okay, we've got one more to see.
00:16:08Let's take a look at our positivity parents.
00:16:12What do your kids think about their bodies?
00:16:16Take your daughters for a body image check-in.
00:16:20Okay.
00:16:21As positivity parents we do talk to the kids about body image because they do see different body shapes.
00:16:27I always reaffirm that we are all different and that all body shapes and sizes are beautiful just the way they are.
00:16:35Tell mummy what you love about your body.
00:16:37I have legs.
00:16:38Yeah, you've got beautiful legs.
00:16:40What else do you love about your body?
00:16:42Your beautiful face.
00:16:44Is there anything that you don't like about your body?
00:16:47No.
00:16:48Nothing?
00:16:50We're not wanting them to ever feel like they need to come up to a certain standard of what someone else thinks beauty is.
00:16:57Do you want to tell mummy what you like about your body?
00:17:01That I'm healthy.
00:17:02Yeah.
00:17:03Beautiful.
00:17:04Yeah.
00:17:05Long hair.
00:17:06Six pack.
00:17:07Yeah.
00:17:09Six pack.
00:17:11Is there anything that you don't like about your body?
00:17:13No.
00:17:14Nothing at all?
00:17:16Do you just look at yourself and just go, you know what, I'm really happy with the way that I look?
00:17:20Yeah.
00:17:21Yeah.
00:17:22This is everything that I want her to feel about herself.
00:17:27When I was younger, I didn't like my legs.
00:17:33I used to get teased at school.
00:17:37They used to be actually writing on the walls about mummy's legs.
00:17:41I didn't like my body at all.
00:17:49It's very important, especially being a girl, okay, that you don't let other people tell you what beautiful is.
00:17:58You know how mummy always says that to you?
00:18:00Okay, because we're all different.
00:18:03Okay?
00:18:04My favourite.
00:18:16Your little girls have both got really positive body images.
00:18:19They had nothing negative to say about themselves at all.
00:18:21No, and they shouldn't.
00:18:22They're very comfortable with themselves.
00:18:24Obviously that's a testament to you both because you've raised them every day telling them they're just beautiful, beautiful children and it really comes through.
00:18:31I'm sorry that you've had that experience though.
00:18:35It was written on the school wall.
00:18:37Sophia has thunder thighs and it became a big thing for me.
00:18:43So it was just something I don't want my kids to ever go through.
00:18:47And that's disgusting.
00:18:48Yeah, it's shocking.
00:18:50Sophia, can I ask, that period when you were teased about your body, did that lead to bad choices you made in regards to your health?
00:19:00Yes.
00:19:01Yes, absolutely.
00:19:03I would binge and then I'd be like, oh no, no, no, I'm getting too big now.
00:19:07Let's scale that back to like not eating.
00:19:10Like that's just not healthy, you know, and then all my friends were doing it.
00:19:14And I think when you're young, you're very impressionable, okay?
00:19:17And if you don't have a lot of support around you, you don't have, you know, parents that are guiding you, you know, through that type of stuff.
00:19:24I can definitely relate with that.
00:19:27I was one of four girls.
00:19:29Two of my older sisters suffered quite bad eating disorders growing up.
00:19:33And it did stem from my dad was obsessed with the way he looked.
00:19:38I remember I lost a lot of weight once when I was younger.
00:19:43I was severely underweight.
00:19:47And someone said, I'm really worried about you.
00:19:49And I went to my dad and he said, I don't know what they're talking about.
00:19:52You look fabulous.
00:19:54And so it does come from the parents.
00:19:57And you know, you're lucky if you can get out of that without any repercussions.
00:20:01I suffered anorexia when I was like 12 to 14.
00:20:07But that was more of a confidence thing.
00:20:10Yeah, I think it's important that fathers tell their daughters they're beautiful as well.
00:20:14Because my dad always taught us we were perfect just the way we are.
00:20:17You talk to the girls like that.
00:20:18And I think it makes a big difference.
00:20:20You guys have broken the cycle up there.
00:20:21That's what it sounds like to me from over here.
00:20:24I love everything about my body now.
00:20:26And like, I'm the only one in this room that's wearing a short dress and showing my thighs.
00:20:30I don't care.
00:20:32Like, this is me.
00:20:37When discussing body image, we need to move away from beauty.
00:20:41Instead, emphasise functionality.
00:20:44Emphasise finding joy.
00:20:45Focus on what you can do, not what you look like.
00:20:48More than anything, remember that beauty is best defined by who you are and not how you look.
00:20:55Next, what is your voice saying right now?
00:21:01Tony.
00:21:02A story of body image obsession.
00:21:05Was there ever a point where you thought you might lose her?
00:21:08Yeah.
00:21:10Then a fun game takes a turn.
00:21:13That would break my heart.
00:21:14Yeah.
00:21:15It's hard to watch.
00:21:25We're about to cover one of the most confronting issues relating to body image.
00:21:29I want to acknowledge the following discussion relates to eating disorders.
00:21:34Some may find it distressing, but we need to have these important conversations.
00:21:39The stats around eating disorders are increasingly worrying, particularly in our young people with 90% of teenagers having negative thoughts about their bodies.
00:21:49I'm a dad of six girls and it's just one thing that scares the hell out of me because the causes are so far reaching and they can be really difficult to protect against.
00:22:03Unfortunately, sometimes the very best parenting messages don't get through.
00:22:08I want to show you a home video from someone who experienced a serious body image disorder.
00:22:18And after months of simply not eating, she was hospitalised close to death.
00:22:24In the video, you'll see a young girl being supported by her mum as she goes through the horrific illness that is known as anorexia nervosa.
00:22:32It is a confronting watch.
00:22:50Force yourself to eat it, Ashley.
00:22:53Yes, you can.
00:22:55You can.
00:22:56I feel like you're punishing me.
00:23:03I'm not punishing you.
00:23:07You are choosing to listen to the voice instead.
00:23:11What is the voice saying right now?
00:23:13Don't eat.
00:23:15Okay, so you need to do the opposite.
00:23:17I can't do it!
00:23:27Congratulations, you are stronger.
00:23:31What does it feel like to complete your meal?
00:23:34This little bit of happiness inside of me.
00:23:39Yep.
00:23:41This is what family is. Family don't give up on one another.
00:23:44We don't abandon you.
00:23:46Love you.
00:23:48I love you guys too.
00:23:50I love you guys.
00:23:56It's really hard, isn't it?
00:24:00I don't like watching children go through stuff like that.
00:24:06And then I think about my own kids.
00:24:09I mean, she's really lucky she has parents that care about her.
00:24:13Yeah.
00:24:15It's why we're spending so much time focused on body image.
00:24:22Because when it goes wrong, it's the consequences.
00:24:24I just thought of my girls or our girls in that situation.
00:24:31And how I would be trying to deal with that as well as trying to guide them through it.
00:24:38You could feel her pain coming through her cry, which was quite confronting.
00:24:45And I don't know if I would know how to navigate that.
00:24:48Yeah.
00:24:49You feel a sense of helplessness as a parent, don't you, when you watch that and you can't fix something for someone.
00:24:56Yeah, definitely.
00:24:58Four credits to her mum, she was so strong.
00:25:00She's unbelievable. What a woman.
00:25:01Now, fortunately, this story has a happy ending.
00:25:08That's good.
00:25:09I know this family and I know that girl in the video.
00:25:12She is now a healthy, strong young woman who is an advocate and mentor to anorexia sufferers around the country.
00:25:21I might be now.
00:25:22That's beautiful.
00:25:23She's here tonight.
00:25:24Oh, wow.
00:25:25Please welcome Ashley, together with her parents, Kendall and Andrew.
00:25:29Thank you for doing this.
00:25:44Alright, we made the whole room cry and there was also, I think, a great sense of relief.
00:25:50Ashley, can you explain how it started and what we just saw?
00:25:54It started, I just wanted to be healthy.
00:25:56I started following these influencers online that were posting photos of their shopping trolleys.
00:26:02And I was looking to these people that were seeming like they were happy when they were going on a diet or when they were losing weight.
00:26:08And so, I was constantly being reinforced that who I was and what I looked like was not enough.
00:26:14I know that as you were going through social media and with the algorithms, you were just seeing this certain image, really dangerous diets.
00:26:22I really wanted to then have a flat stomach.
00:26:25I'd do all the seven-minute workouts or the ab workouts.
00:26:29And then the more I lost, the more validation I got in the sense of, oh, you look amazing.
00:26:35What are you doing?
00:26:36You're so fit.
00:26:37You look great.
00:26:38And it was feeding me.
00:26:39Like, I was then striving for that and I was seeking that because it's like you're possessed.
00:26:46It was a mental illness.
00:26:47Mum and Dad, how hard is that when you see your little girl so sick?
00:26:54It wasn't until a holiday that we saw Ashley undress and go for a swim that we went, oh, crap, we're in trouble.
00:26:59We got roles.
00:27:00Kendall became not a mum anymore.
00:27:01She became a carer, which was a big task.
00:27:04And then I became the parent for the other two kids and look after the house.
00:27:07Can you explain to all of us what it was like at its worst?
00:27:12At its worst is that I have met the devil.
00:27:16You know, you could physically see Ashley's eyes roll back and this different demonised voice would come forward.
00:27:25You know, it was going to war.
00:27:26Was there ever a point where you both thought you might not get through it and you might lose her?
00:27:33Yeah.
00:27:34Well, Ashley was told to make a bucket list of things she wanted to do before she died.
00:27:39We were basically told to take her home.
00:27:42She's got the most extreme eating disorder and probably the highest mortality rate and you just need to get the food in.
00:27:49You know, Ashley wouldn't even brush her teeth.
00:27:51She wouldn't even drink water because she thought it had calories in it.
00:27:54I didn't want to be here.
00:27:57I didn't feel like anybody loved me.
00:28:00I didn't feel like I was worthy of being loved.
00:28:05And when I was admitted into hospital into a children's mental health ward, you are on your own.
00:28:12And you're like 12 or 13 and you've just got no family.
00:28:15I had mum turn up every single day at 9am and then be told to leave at night.
00:28:22And for someone that thought that nobody loved her but to have her mum turn up every single day while there were other kids in there that had their mum come drop them off and then never return.
00:28:34I thought, wow, I'm like wasting away my life so selfishly when I have a mum and a family that's so willing to fight for me.
00:28:47That's when I made the decision that I'm going to give full recovery a go.
00:28:51And I mean, here we are nine years later.
00:28:54That's incredible. Well done.
00:28:57Do you have any advice, Kendall and Andrew, in what to do when you see the signs that you saw in Ashley?
00:29:04The first sign is if you think your child's behaviour is changing, they're starting to isolate themselves.
00:29:09There's something wrong with school.
00:29:11They're not doing the fun things they used to do.
00:29:14After the behavioural signs came changing eating.
00:29:18Anyone eat clean.
00:29:19Looking back on that, there are all signs that something was not right.
00:29:23Do you feel you're stronger than it now?
00:29:27Oh yeah. So much stronger.
00:29:30And I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for those two amazing people.
00:29:35For them never giving up on me when I'd given up on myself.
00:29:41You know we're all going to go home tonight and hug our kids a little bit tighter
00:29:46and just remember to tell them how awesome they are every single day.
00:29:49And parents, if you have any concerns, do seek support for you and your child.
00:29:54Please, just a huge thank you for Ashley and her beautiful parents for coming in and sharing that tonight.
00:29:59Thank you so much.
00:30:11Thanks, Jen.
00:30:19Focus, parents.
00:30:21Tonight you are being put to the test on the pressing topic of body image.
00:30:26And on this side tonight, panel parents, don't forget to take notes.
00:30:30At the end of all the challenges, we'll be asking you to choose which parenting style best equips their kids for looking after their bodies,
00:30:38Cardiovascular fitness, it's essential across all stages of life for good movement, better
00:30:46mental health, brain function, sleep and preventing disease.
00:30:51But many of us don't do enough.
00:30:56The numbers are clear.
00:30:59By the age of nine, only a fifth of kids are getting the recommended one hour of exercise
00:31:05per day, and with inactive parents, that never drops even lower.
00:31:10So let's have a look at how each of our focus families keeps fit.
00:31:17We definitely role model fitness.
00:31:19Going to the park, having a game of basketball in the backyard.
00:31:23Go, go.
00:31:24Oh, what a block.
00:31:26It's all about quality family time together.
00:31:28That's right.
00:31:29Yes.
00:31:30Hit up, Stacey.
00:31:32We believe that doing well academically is important, but we do run some physical activities
00:31:40like yoga, and we do badminton together.
00:31:45How you doing it, monkey man?
00:31:49I'm under you.
00:31:50Our kids are just always on the go.
00:31:51The moment their eyes are open, they're out that van, and they're doing something outside.
00:31:55We don't need weekend sports.
00:31:57Just the fact we're such a big family, our kids automatically get the experience of what
00:32:02it's like to be in a team and be a team player.
00:32:05Do your parents like to exercise?
00:32:09My mum used to exercise, now she doesn't, but she exercises by doing all the chores in
00:32:14the house.
00:32:15Wow.
00:32:16You're too slow.
00:32:17We do talk to our kids about the importance of being fit.
00:32:20So, our daughters doing dance is an extremely important aspect in their lives.
00:32:27The girls will dance for like five hours each day, they just don't stop dancing.
00:32:32Alrighty.
00:32:33For our next challenge, it is the ultimate fitness test.
00:32:40We had a personal trainer take you through a beat test.
00:32:45We know that kids with fit parents are more likely to be fit themselves.
00:32:50So we're going to be focusing on the parents' results.
00:32:55What we're looking for in this challenge is for adults and kids who are 12 and over to
00:33:01be getting a score of five or above.
00:33:04So how do our focus parents role model fitness and motivate their kids?
00:33:12Let's take a look.
00:33:16Do you think you fit enough?
00:33:17Yes.
00:33:18In case you missed it at school, the beep test is an international standard measuring cardiovascular
00:33:23fitness.
00:33:24Can I take my shoes off?
00:33:25Absolutely.
00:33:26Yay!
00:33:27That's us.
00:33:28A series of 20 metre sprints where you have to beat the beep to stay in the game.
00:33:35Remember, the parents should be able to reach level five.
00:33:40Level one.
00:33:43Level two.
00:33:47Good work.
00:33:52Not happy with my level of fitness at all.
00:33:57I was pregnant for four years consecutive and if I wasn't pregnant then I was breastfeeding
00:34:03and that honestly made me lose a lot of physical activity.
00:34:10Level five.
00:34:11Feel like I've got it.
00:34:12Two competitive ones.
00:34:13Level six.
00:34:14Ah.
00:34:15Go dad.
00:34:16Good pace.
00:34:17Good work Spencey.
00:34:18High five.
00:34:19Are you even pumped?
00:34:20You got to level eight.
00:34:21Alright, who's the strongest?
00:34:22Me.
00:34:23Look at me.
00:34:24Level one.
00:34:25Come on.
00:34:26Come on Alec.
00:34:27What's going on?
00:34:28Come on Alec.
00:34:29What's going on?
00:34:30Come on Alec.
00:34:31Come on Alec.
00:34:32What's going on?
00:34:33Come on Alec.
00:34:34Come on Alec what's going on?
00:34:35Come on Alec.
00:34:36He's dying at one.
00:34:37Mila.
00:34:38Oh you just made it.
00:34:42Come on.
00:34:43You just made it.
00:34:44Come on.
00:34:45Hey.
00:34:46Hey girl.
00:34:47Run, run, run.
00:34:48run run run right now I feel like I could be more fit you know as a mum
00:34:58sometimes you put yourself last come on Mila you've got that we don't
00:35:03mentality man let's go come on Mila
00:35:10let me try winning this game I want to win this game as an authoritative parents
00:35:24fitness is not our strength we are not good ourselves in our sports Elvin I we
00:35:29don't have supposed to sport gene it is quite physical challenge he's quite
00:35:48exhausting beyond the fact that Sean ran in sandals which well done you for sure
00:35:59how did you feel about their family's efforts it was good to see that side
00:36:03of your family and also to see you take it take a loss I try my best I show the
00:36:10children Sean we're not a fitness family yeah what message does that send to the
00:36:17family when they hear that we're good at certain areas but we're probably a bit
00:36:22behind in other areas no one is perfect just try to focus the areas that you're
00:36:26strong in with the life school parents yeah you can obviously say the lifestyle
00:36:34that you live obviously being outside you was a moving all the time and all the
00:36:38kids were having a great go at it and even dad did very well there I I like the
00:36:44positivity parents you were like two little mini teams competing against each
00:36:48other rather than you know the individual children which I thought was
00:36:51really good okay let's see how our final focus parents went as hard way parents
00:37:00we are big on fitness we don't want kids lying around sitting on the screen any
00:37:06junk food yeah we get them up we go for a walk it's all about staying fit after
00:37:12five children getting back into shape has been you know a bit hard your purpose is
00:37:17just for your children think with me being just one year postpartum as well
00:37:23I haven't had a chance to actually run yet I just want to keep running so then
00:37:32the kids can keep watching me do that so they can keep going
00:37:37I'm super proud of Amanda she is a definition of a superwoman thanks so I
00:37:53was so proud of you so cool I loved it I love that you tried your best in that it's
00:37:58not easy it's such a hard thing to do especially mentally oh you're right Amanda
00:38:05they just really are my purpose I do everything for them there was 40 degrees
00:38:16that day and it's very real I hadn't ran yet and my last baby was a c-section so
00:38:21I've been just walking and I just wanted to keep going just to show them that you
00:38:26can not give up so to do that with your children and be such a great role model
00:38:31all eight of you amazing I think you all did so good in that challenge kids take
00:38:38their cues from us if they see us prioritizing movement and making it fun
00:38:44then they're far more likely to stick with it for life so the takeaway is this
00:38:50there is room for improvement for most of our focus parents in the room but the
00:38:55good news it's never too late to set a better example
00:39:02next kitchen chaos when the kids are put in charge and everything is laid out on
00:39:13the table what does your food intake really look like any chocolate or
00:39:18anything then later which parenting style comes out on top the best parental
00:39:24guidance when it comes to a healthy body image goes to
00:39:35we're looking at body image and before our next challenge we're going to find
00:39:40out what our focus kids know about healthy eating every parent knows that
00:39:46you're supposed to give your kids healthy foods but how many of us are actually doing that we sent
00:39:52you a grocery delivery and it is filled with a typical Aussie shop can your kids make a healthy meal plan
00:40:00proper nutrition is essential for setting up our kids to live a long and healthy life but only 4% of Australian children 4% meet the fruit and vegetable consumption recommendations which means that 96% of kids aren't getting enough
00:40:19we sent our families an average Aussie grocery shop
00:40:29the kids are calling the shots deciding what's healthy what's not and what they actually want to eat
00:40:35for the week not healthy not healthy no cupcakes not healthy as positivity parents moderation is key we try and balance it out the girls they
00:40:46do like you know chocolates like every other child what's that one garlic garlic
00:40:53we don't want to eat too much junk because of our body we will get sick my favorite thing is the rock melon my favorite thing is the grapes
00:41:02we try to promote healthy eating habits from a young age even if it's going to take longer and they all like to get involved
00:41:09what's your favorite thing what's your favorite thing what is important to healthy so you don't have a big tummy like my dad
00:41:19as an authoritative parents eating healthy is essential whatever we prepare we make sure we have the right combinations of nutrition
00:41:31okay definitely not the silver beef thing what's chow chows it's like rip-off rice
00:41:37yeah Esme you're gonna get cancelled
00:41:39oh we've got steak favorite things are mangoes apples we generally only eat two meals a day
00:41:49we don't have any structure around meal times we listen to what our bodies tell us when we're hungry
00:41:55and that's when we eat chocolate that doesn't feel like it will give you energy but not for as long
00:42:01food that is not healthy is chips you eat that all the time chocolate sweets lollipops
00:42:13i like these two together
00:42:21okay so let's be honest about this we have an obesity crisis in this country
00:42:26two-thirds of australian adults are overweight or obese and the negative eating habits that lead to
00:42:35this start in childhood it's about understanding what we're eating and how it's affecting our bodies
00:42:44focus parents you all say you have a healthy diet so we asked you to fill out a family food diary
00:42:52you had to write down absolutely everything each member of the family put in their mouth
00:43:02so what does your food intake really look like please step out of the room we need everyone out
00:43:10and then i'm going to bring you back in and we can all judge who has the healthiest daily meal plan
00:43:16i love this okay let's go look for the perellos
00:43:32panel parents come back in
00:43:36and have a look walk around the table have a look at everything
00:43:40and have a look at everything on each table is a daily intake of food for each family
00:43:55and have a look at everything on each table is a daily intake of food for each family
00:44:05and one of them have got any chocolate or anything none of them
00:44:23focus parents come on in and sit down anybody hungry yummy
00:44:30What do we think of the Hardway Parents' daily meal plan?
00:44:37Great options. Healthy, some snacks.
00:44:43I can see that the parents are only, like, having the treats,
00:44:47not so much the kids.
00:44:48But I also don't see many vegetables, I would say.
00:44:53OK, what about the Life School Parents' daily meal plan?
00:44:59It's a lot of meat, so...
00:45:02Bacon and egg rolls. Yeah.
00:45:04Also, not too many veggies.
00:45:06But, yeah, the popcorn's good, and I like ice cream.
00:45:12And the Positivity Parents.
00:45:15They've got a great balance.
00:45:16They've got the fruit and the veggies and a bit of salad.
00:45:18Yeah.
00:45:19Cereal's an unhealthy choice.
00:45:21It would be something that we might potentially,
00:45:23occasionally buy in the holidays, maybe.
00:45:26And the Authoritative Parents.
00:45:30Yeah, that food looks delicious.
00:45:31It's great, healthy options.
00:45:33That puts everyone to shame, I think.
00:45:36OK.
00:45:37I thought we should get an expert involved.
00:45:40So I took your food diaries to the lab of Dr Nick Fuller.
00:45:44He's an expert specialist in helping families build healthy eating habits,
00:45:49and he's the best-selling author of Healthy Parents, Healthy Kids.
00:45:55Let's have a look.
00:45:57All right, Nick.
00:45:58You've got all the food diaries.
00:46:00They all say they're eating well.
00:46:02Are they?
00:46:03Two families are doing particularly well,
00:46:05and two do need a little bit of work.
00:46:07Ooh, OK.
00:46:08I'm really intrigued to see how Amanda and Hassan, our Hardway parents, went.
00:46:13Yes.
00:46:14What they're offering their children is great.
00:46:16Wide variety, a lot of home-cooked meals.
00:46:18But I can see discretionary and processed foods creeping into the diets of the parents.
00:46:23Soft drinks, the biscuits, for example.
00:46:26How about our life school parents, Josh and Cassie?
00:46:30They skip lunch.
00:46:31I do not know how they're doing this.
00:46:33They say eat when you're hungry, and this whole three meals a day is a society thing.
00:46:38This is very bad from a weight management point of view.
00:46:42Kids have such a high nutritional requirement.
00:46:45They need four to five to six meals per day.
00:46:48We need to move away from this fad of, I guess it's an intermittent fasting type approach.
00:46:54Otherwise, they're more likely to overeat at the meals that they are eating, which is breakfast and dinner.
00:47:00What problems do you see down the track?
00:47:02They're going to have weight issues.
00:47:05I'm very keen to talk about our positivity parents.
00:47:10I saw what goes into their cereal bowls in the morning.
00:47:14Lots of beautiful, bright colours.
00:47:17Yeah, look, you've got to be going for whole grain cereals, like oats.
00:47:21There's basically only three good options in the whole supermarket aisle that's filled with cereals.
00:47:2797% of them you've got to stay away from.
00:47:29You're kidding.
00:47:30That's the hard truth.
00:47:31Oh my gosh.
00:47:34Sean and Elvie are definitely winning the race.
00:47:37They are doing a fantastic job.
00:47:39They're offering a wide variety of foods.
00:47:41They're meeting most of the nutritional requirements.
00:47:44And those children are probably going to grow up with healthy weights and a lifelong trajectory of good health.
00:47:50Panel parents, are there any big takeaways from what Dr. Nick just said?
00:47:56The breakfast one.
00:47:58Yeah, I just would like to know what those three breakfast options are so I can...
00:48:01Orbran.
00:48:02Oh.
00:48:03Wheat Bix.
00:48:04Okay.
00:48:05And oats.
00:48:06Oats.
00:48:07And definitely nothing colourful.
00:48:08Elvie and Sean, well done guys.
00:48:10How do you feel about everyone moving into your house?
00:48:13Because they all like the look of what you cook.
00:48:16Welcome to Perth.
00:48:17Big, big feast.
00:48:18You know we'll be there.
00:48:20Good.
00:48:21I'm not surprised.
00:48:23Because I'm actually putting a lot of efforts to make sure our children have healthy, balanced meals.
00:48:31With the daily food challenge, I think every single family has taken something from it.
00:48:36And is going to implement that as well into their own meal plans.
00:48:42Next, let's play the compliment game.
00:48:45Very strong.
00:48:46Oh, thanks, Emma.
00:48:47You are confident.
00:48:49That's not a compliment.
00:48:50One challenge flips the vote on its head.
00:48:53It's not really a compliment at all.
00:48:55I would be beside myself.
00:48:57That would break my heart.
00:49:07Tonight we're talking about how we pair in our children when it comes to body image.
00:49:13There's just one more challenge to go tonight.
00:49:16And we know when it comes to body image, the words we use around our kids can shape their opinions about themselves and others for years to come.
00:49:27Compliments tell us a lot about how we are perceived.
00:49:31So in this next challenge, we want to know what you have taught your kids to value.
00:49:36Are they more focused on external things like physical appearance?
00:49:41Or are they looking at internal things like personality and character traits?
00:49:46Compliments are more than words.
00:49:48They tell our loved ones that we notice them and we value them.
00:49:53Let's play the compliment game.
00:49:57Parents, it's time to find out what your kids really think of you.
00:50:02Give your parents five compliments each.
00:50:04Part of the hardware style of parenting is actually having those deep conversations.
00:50:08Very strong.
00:50:10Aw, thanks Anna.
00:50:11Aw.
00:50:12Always tucks us in bed.
00:50:13Aw.
00:50:14Cares a lot about us.
00:50:16I like my kids to see me as strong, independent, healthy, you know, hardworking.
00:50:21They're the kind of things I instill in my children.
00:50:24We love you.
00:50:25We love you too.
00:50:27Aw.
00:50:29I love that your children were like personality overlooks.
00:50:32Yeah.
00:50:33It was all from the heart and it was all feelings of it.
00:50:35It was warm and fuzzy.
00:50:36Yeah.
00:50:39Aw.
00:50:40This is going to be good.
00:50:41I'm looking forward to this one.
00:50:42Go.
00:50:43As positivity parents, we love to shower them with compliments.
00:50:47You are confident.
00:50:49Aw, thank you, Mummy.
00:50:52I think the affirmations that we do in every single day are key for the girls feeling confident.
00:50:57Incredible.
00:50:58Aw.
00:50:59Dad's incredible.
00:51:00Thanks, Mimi.
00:51:01Marvellous.
00:51:02Marvellous.
00:51:03Oh.
00:51:05Marvellous.
00:51:08Words like for myself like incredible and marvellous.
00:51:11I wasn't expecting to hear that.
00:51:13Thank you girls.
00:51:14Good job.
00:51:19Loved it.
00:51:20I love how at such a young age they knew such big, strong words like, yeah, marvellous,
00:51:26incredible.
00:51:27I honestly don't know if my kids would know those words.
00:51:29Yeah.
00:51:30But that comes down to those daily affirmations that you're doing every day and I loved it.
00:51:33Yeah, well done.
00:51:34Thanks.
00:51:35We are waiting for results.
00:51:36Oh, God.
00:51:37That's not a compliment.
00:51:38I know.
00:51:39Structure the sentence to reflect your writing skill, okay?
00:51:42As authoritative parents, we don't quite often show love in an exaggerated way.
00:51:49Mum brings a lot of fun to you guys.
00:51:50You're helping.
00:51:51The way we show love, care and appreciation to our children is mainly through spending quality
00:51:56time with them and also providing acts of service.
00:51:58Mum gives us restrictions, leading us to enjoy it more.
00:51:59Dad lets me relax and have free time but mum never gives us a break.
00:52:05Dad is funnier and can do jokes.
00:52:06Mum forces us to go to too many activities but gives us exposure.
00:52:07Dad is more chill and calm.
00:52:08Dad is more chill and calm.
00:52:09There are quite so many ways in life with them and also providing acts of service.
00:52:10Dad is more comfortable with them and also providing acts of service.
00:52:11Mum gives us restrictions, leading us to enjoy it more.
00:52:16Dad lets me relax and have free time but mum never gives us a break.
00:52:23Dad is funnier and can do jokes.
00:52:27Mum forces us to go to too many activities but gives us exposure.
00:52:32Dad is more chill and calm.
00:52:35they are quite struggling to find a way complimenting me
00:52:43mom gives me makeup for my concerts and performances
00:52:48that is more fun and let's just do stuff thank you
00:52:53that would break my heart yeah it was hard to watch yeah it broke me as a parent as especially as a
00:53:08mother to have no compliments about me and even the compliments of dad were a dig at mom it was
00:53:15hard it was hard to watch mom never gives us a break as well as mom forces us to go to too many
00:53:22activities it's not really a compliment at all so what do you think about that does that hurt
00:53:28I think they put it in a humor way I don't feel hurt in that game it would be heartbroken if our
00:53:36kids gave me no compliments I would smack them with a slipper I often wonder what my kids are
00:53:43gonna say to their kids about me when I'm not here how do you feel knowing that maybe they
00:53:49won't have anything nice to say about you so what I'm doing now is for a long-term goal for a better
00:53:57future for them so when they growing up they would know what I have done for them I don't mind being
00:54:05call me mom what I'm doing now will help them for a better future I don't speak to my mom and neither
00:54:13does my older sister and we will never speak to her again and I'm not saying that that's going to
00:54:17happen for you but from experience maybe maybe your girls do need to say a little bit more of a
00:54:24different kind of love few more compliments a bit more affection I think that would go a long way and
00:54:30maybe just live in the moment sometimes like it's not about the long term you want them to be happy
00:54:35now like the the moments are going you know for sure yes um I will do a bit of adjustment in terms of
00:54:43the way I express my love and care to them I give full credit to Elvie because I probably need to
00:54:51share a bit of that bad guy role to give her more compliments in front of children to let children
00:54:58realize mom loves them so I think that's probably an area that I need to improve Sean I love listening to
00:55:06you speak about your wife I hear you honor her in every interaction and one of the biggest protective
00:55:14factors we can provide to our children is where possible to have a strong solid intact couple
00:55:22relationship when our children see that it provides them with a level of security and certainty that is
00:55:29profound in terms of their overall well-being that was a compliment I can write it on a piece of paper and
00:55:36put it on your chest if you need me to please hearing the feedback from other parents we learnt a lot it was
00:55:44like a cultural sharing I definitely make some changes for the way I communicate with children so make sure we are there for
00:55:54them when they need us coming up let's go life school parenting comes under the microscope this is an area
00:56:08that requires immediate intervention would you mind if we went outside and had a bit of a chat I think we should
00:56:24we're playing the compliment game and there's one more family left to see let's see how our life
00:56:29school parents went give your parents five compliments each let's go as life school parents we think a
00:56:39good couple of it is one that comes from the heart and it's honest pretty v-r-r-r how's a p go that way or does that
00:56:48know
00:57:03nice hair does that say hair?
00:57:06nice skin
00:57:07nice skin
00:57:08thank you
00:57:09alright
00:57:10nice hair
00:57:14nice hair
00:57:15nice hair
00:57:16thank you
00:57:22nice hair
00:57:33even right nice hair nice hair thank you you got the nice hair I definitely should have gotten that
00:57:41one the compliments were beautiful there was a bit of a spelling issue yeah that was it was a
00:57:55funny one because the spelling and the writing and the reading a few of them struggled at do
00:58:00they know how to read and write yeah they read and write in their own ways it's not like we sit
00:58:07down and give them pen and paper lessons what we've seen is they might need a bit more help with
00:58:14that we have a high school teacher in the room Amanda I'm just talking from my perspective I
00:58:20just thought it was lacking like a lot for their age the youngest being seven like you should be
00:58:25able to spell and read really well really well well for those words yeah they were quite easy
00:58:30words yeah I would be giving them a lot more lessons in reading and writing they they need it
00:58:35education development for children the first five years is essential so they have missed that and the
00:58:44longer they delay the harder they catch up you've been vocal about the typical educational institutions
00:58:52I'm not sure if you're homeschooling based on the curriculum of homeschooling we have to follow
00:58:57the Australian curriculum the three older boys are very good at reading the three older boys also began
00:59:04in the school system they had tertiary educated teachers kids who are homeschooled can have the
00:59:12same success in life if you've got the resources yeah I would be beside myself to be quite honest
00:59:19whether or not you believe that you're limiting their opportunities for careers later like you
00:59:27said well if they want to be a doctor they can be a doctor realistically I don't see that happening if
00:59:33they can't read so we're only looking at reading and writing but we're forgetting there's maths there's
00:59:42science there's geography there's history like they're missing out on so much you don't know where
00:59:48they're lacking as as homeschoolers no kid is behind no kid is in front when you homeschool it they're
00:59:54at their own level of what they're capable of doing within themselves there's what I worry about too
01:00:01like when they get older they're applying for a casual jobs you need to know how to read the
01:00:05question we're hanging apply for it even answer the question if they're gonna struggle are you worried
01:00:10about where the boys are at with their reading and writing I'm not worried at all because they they can read
01:00:16and write but we we didn't see that there and they were they need very simple words like fun if you
01:00:24look at most of people on social media they can't spell or use grammar as well if you're not worried
01:00:30about it at what point do you become worried one of the challenges is them having a good relationship
01:00:37with reading and writing and that sort of thing we don't want to come on too strong and too heavy for
01:00:44them to be fully resistive to taking it Josh I need to jump in you're not alarmed everybody
01:00:52in the room is alarmed and I'm alarmed they've got such limited capacity to read and write they are
01:00:59not just behind there's several years behind how much do you read to them probably not as much to be
01:01:08honest it varies how much do they read to you yeah yeah probably not enough to not things like no
01:01:14based on what we've just heard they don't read to you at all yeah this is for me a massive concern
01:01:24and an area that requires immediate intervention my deepest encouragement is to find somebody who can
01:01:32support you in this reading is the gateway to learning the long-term impacts of failing to
01:01:39step in with some remedial work could be significant we would never let education to take a backseat at
01:01:51all because we're about knowledge is power I don't think it's okay to let your kids fall behind um in a
01:01:58way I just find that a bit selfish because your kids should be your priority Justin yeah would you
01:02:04mind if we went outside and had a bit of a chat I think we should let's go Justin yeah would you mind
01:02:26if we went outside and had a bit of a chat let's go come on in thank you I feel that I just need to
01:02:42explain something that wasn't able to be explained in the room around what has happened to us in the
01:02:48past I unfortunately used my ego to allow one of our kids to go to school at the age of four because
01:02:57I had a prep a year one a year two and a year three it's a lot I thought that that would create a bond but
01:03:02it didn't and what we have now is an extremely resistant child to sitting down and reading and
01:03:09writing you know he's not comfortable with holding a pen and paper um like okay yeah I just don't know
01:03:18how to I just wanted to come out right even if it's not right it's okay he flatly refuses you know like
01:03:29when your dad's dragging you forcefully to the car when you would probably rather die then go to
01:03:37where you're going I'm fearful to what that message tells my son literacy is very important but if we
01:03:46kill his spirit because he has to be at a benchmark because he is this age then have we just taken a
01:03:54gift out of the world there's a great irony and that in trying to protect him and keep him away
01:04:00from the thing that's making him feel awful about himself that avoidance actually creates an even
01:04:08bigger problem you're not the only family in the country dealing with this there are families who
01:04:13are dealing with absolute complete school refusal families that are dealing with all kinds of
01:04:18neuro developmental challenges and additional needs there are families whose children are dyslexic
01:04:26I really appreciate that you're being a voice for those families it doesn't change the need for
01:04:31our children to be literate there may be some additional support that your family needs to overcome
01:04:38the trauma associated with school and also learning I'd like to give you a handful of tips to help
01:04:46your son with his reading and writing the first thing to highlight is that it doesn't matter what
01:04:51he reads kids love reading if we can find the right thing for them to read here's the second thing read
01:04:58to your kids every single day individually read slower than you think you should the third thing
01:05:03I'm going to recommend ask them to read to you they're going to feel silly they might feel incompetent
01:05:10but it's when they read to you that they really start to capture it I'd be setting aside some fart time
01:05:17family all reading together you will turn them into readers and once they start they won't stop
01:05:26it'll change their lives thanks Justin with our lifestyle it's unorthodox we definitely knew that
01:05:34this would come under a microscope thanks mate this is a life experience that we will learn from and
01:05:41grow from and implement to suit our family in and and get the support that we do need
01:05:55panel parents the focus parents have all stepped outside it is now time for you to decide which
01:06:01parenting style you think worked best in the body image challenges back row I'll get you to come
01:06:08round to the front remember all of these challenges are designed to test which parenting style is best
01:06:14at providing a healthy diet and supporting eating autonomy encouraging lifelong exercise habits
01:06:22and promoting a constructive body image all right let's talk about our positivity parents
01:06:34the affirmations are amazing I love how confident those girls are marvelous marvelous if my daughter put
01:06:41any of those words on me I would be super proud yeah but did anyone notice there's a seven-year-old
01:06:46doing 20 hours dance yeah I did notice that yeah that's pretty hardcore
01:06:54the authority parents food choices were amazing oh it looked delicious yeah yum I'd eat all of it
01:06:59the compliments with with mum she labels herself and wears it as a badge of honor as a mean mum
01:07:05mum forces us to go to too many activities
01:07:09dad is more fun and lets us do stuff it was hard to watch it might not have affected her different
01:07:16personality different different culture different culture different culture
01:07:22i've only got positive things to say about them they've done great go go go guys come on come on guys
01:07:27yeah the beep test they did great at that they strived for the for their best very strong thanks
01:07:32family their focus with body image for the most part was more on ability and personality as opposed
01:07:39to looks okay let's talk about our life school parents fine thanks be it is a concern that a lot
01:07:46of those kids can't read and spell does that say hurt nice hair they're critical on traditional educational
01:07:53institutions standardizing testing but then they'll go well we're going to use tick tock as our average of
01:07:59what spelling should be that to me is just a ridiculous argument yeah i agree with that if
01:08:04you put the education thing aside and take the challenges for what they were they nailed them he
01:08:10doesn't seem fast keep it going mate you're doing well that active lifestyle obviously is paying out
01:08:15chocolate that doesn't do well it will give you energy but not for as long kids were very knowledgeable
01:08:20about food they do have that smarts around some things yeah they're all over it okay guys thank you
01:08:26return to your seats let's get the focus parents back in the room
01:08:36focus parents the panel has talked it out and they are ready to share their thoughts let's hear from
01:08:43amy and mark yeah so we went with the hard way parents the kids gave great compliments i thought
01:08:49nothing body image relating it was all more personality yeah okay nathan and joanne
01:08:55we went with the hard way parents watching amanda work so hard with the running thank you for the
01:09:02for your children was inspiring yeah with all the the little compliments they were pinning on you as
01:09:07well there was nothing superficial about that it was all really lovely things that your kids you know
01:09:13wanted to compliment you on courtney and john we decided elvie and sean were the people that we learned
01:09:19the most from education is a big piece of your parenting style and that's flowed through to
01:09:24obviously the education on food and you're open to change and that's what the whole experiment is about
01:09:29thank you let's hear from mark and tammy we went for the hard way parents because they were involved
01:09:37with their children we just felt like you guys nailed it thank you well we have a clear winner tonight the best
01:09:45parental guidance when it comes to a healthy body image goes to our hard way parents amanda and hassan
01:09:51well done guys congratulations guys it was a really proud moment i could cry it was amazing
01:10:04thank you for another powerful look into the ups and downs of parenting
01:10:09we've made it through three of the biggest topics impacting parents and their kids next time
01:10:17we'll be ready to deal with the one that is on everyone's mind we tackle mental health
01:10:27if anything in this program raises concerns about eating disorders or body image issues please contact
01:10:33the butterfly foundation on 1800 33 4673 or butterfly.org.au next time in the last of our special events
01:10:46series we have an incredible mental illness challenge in this country it's the invisible crisis crippling the
01:10:53nation he screamed from 7 p.m till 3 a.m every single night it was horrific
01:10:58uh gotcha go ahead help me tonight's focused parents will be back in the hot seat my children
01:11:06call me the most mean mom in the world how do our parents respond when mental health takes center stage
01:11:15boys are naturally nurturing they can be stereotyping can put a lot of pressure on men and then the panel
01:11:23decides the parents with the best parental guidance when it comes to building good mental health
01:11:28Ah?
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