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NELK
  • 2 days ago
#eastenders

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Ah, I was just bringing these upstairs to you.
00:20Well, I saved you the trip.
00:22Oh, not a shame.
00:24It's a late shift today, isn't it?
00:28Do you know what?
00:29Mmm.
00:31Do you taste better in bed?
00:44Avani?
00:46Avani?
00:48Are you OK?
00:50I've been very quiet lately.
00:52Avani!
00:53I've been ringing yet.
00:55Look, um, Dad, I'll catch you up, yeah?
00:57Uh, yeah, OK?
00:59Are you mad at me for telling your nan what you were?
01:05No.
01:07How'd it go?
01:09I didn't go through with it.
01:11What?
01:12What do you mean?
01:12You're going to have the baby?
01:14Well, yeah, obviously.
01:16I'm going to have it, and then I'm going to give it to my grandma and Eve Therese.
01:20What?
01:21I thought you said that was a crazy idea.
01:23Yeah, well, I changed my mind, didn't it?
01:25Well, finally, this is huge.
01:27Well, Barney, it's my body.
01:28Yeah, but have you talked to parents?
01:31No, I'm not here.
01:32You can't lie to them about something like this.
01:34OK, well, I'm not lying to them, am I?
01:36Look, this is between me and my grandma, and we know what we're doing, OK?
01:40I've got to go.
01:51Smile.
01:52Might never happen.
01:53Well, you did.
01:55No job, no woman, no home.
02:00I told you.
02:05I told you I was coming here for breakfast.
02:07Can't have any space.
02:08Well, did you?
02:09Sorry.
02:10Look, I've had a chat with Phil.
02:11He said I can crash at this place, so I'll be clearing out your gaff later.
02:14It's afternoon.
02:18Things will turn a corner soon, Dad.
02:21Yeah.
02:23Be careful with your greasy fingers, Kim.
02:25I don't want my cards to smell like a chip shop.
02:29You know, most people would send their invitations via email,
02:34send themselves a ton of money in stamps.
02:36I like to do things traditionally.
02:39Oh, yeah.
02:40So does that mean that you would be needing a made-up honor?
02:46I may do.
02:47You may do.
02:51Tell me something.
02:52You think this tiara looks a little bit OTT?
02:57Oh, Howie, finally.
02:59Finally.
03:00I can't be sitting down here all day wedding planning.
03:02I've got a business to run.
03:03And Howie here is twiddling his thumb so you can use him to your heart's content.
03:09Yeah?
03:09I'll see you later.
03:10Thanks, Howie.
03:13Patrick and Howie.
03:14How you like this dress?
03:16Wow.
03:16Oh, pricey.
03:19Well, I could have a replica made or they might have something like it on the high street.
03:23I don't want anything fancy.
03:25After all, I'm not a giddy young bride, am I?
03:27Kitty is exactly how you should be.
03:31But leave it to me, sugar girl.
03:32I'll get you the dress of your dream.
03:35Yeah.
03:36Tickets are 250, and we need a coach fair.
03:44And I don't have a tent, so...
03:46Yes, you reckon you're an old man that you go to a festival?
03:49Well, I've worked really hard for these exams, and I deserve to have some fun.
03:53So, let's call it 500.
03:54500 quid.
03:57Oh, no, I'd look at my dad would cover it.
03:59They's brushed out big on a viney 16, so I'm holding something, man.
04:02And my dad's got, like, three ices, so he can't pull the poverty pardon.
04:06Yeah, mine just had his hours cut.
04:07What about Kim?
04:09I'll talk to him.
04:15It's one way to work up an episode.
04:18Ah.
04:20Do you think our honeymoon phase will ever end?
04:22No, I hope not.
04:23You know, it's funny, right?
04:24Cos if we were a heterosexual couple...
04:26Yeah.
04:27..we'd be thinking about what's next, like kids.
04:30Do you?
04:31What, you never thought about it?
04:32You know I haven't.
04:34Do you know what Varnie asked me this the other day?
04:39I think about it.
04:41Sure, what?
04:42No, I'm serious.
04:43I think about it all the time.
04:45Kids?
04:46Well, no.
04:47Kid, singular.
04:49You think about having a kid?
04:51Yeah.
04:51With me?
04:52Yeah.
04:52I hate to break it to you, my love,
04:58but I think both of our eggs are a little on the geriatric side.
05:02There's always ways.
05:04What?
05:05I'm being serious, Eve.
05:09I think we'd be amazing parents.
05:11You are serious.
05:17Why is it such a crazy idea?
05:20People have babies all the time.
05:21Worse candidates than us.
05:23So why shouldn't we?
05:24We've never discussed it before.
05:25We're discussing it now.
05:28I...
05:28Is this about Vinnie and us?
05:30Are you feeling a bit pushed out?
05:31No.
05:32Are you?
05:32No.
05:33Well, maybe.
05:34But look, you said yourself that I was an amazing mum.
05:36Yes, you are.
05:37Right, and that meant the world to me.
05:39See, cos that's how I want to be seen.
05:41Well, what about being a career one?
05:42On both.
05:43And being a good mum matters to me.
05:45You've already done it, it's OK.
05:46Yeah, but I did it on my own, Eve.
05:48And with a man I didn't love, and whilst living a lie.
05:52This, me and you, this is right.
05:57And I want us to have a chance at being parents together.
06:05Will you think about it?
06:09Yes, yes, I will.
06:11I will think about it.
06:12Yeah?
06:17I think Stacey did say she wanted me in a little bit earlier,
06:19so I'm, um, I'm gonna, um,
06:21I'm gonna jump in the shower.
06:23OK, sorry about that.
06:37I got a free coffee,
06:38and I thought, who better to give it to
06:40than my hard-working son?
06:42I've just had one, sir.
06:44Oh, all right.
06:46I also wondered if you fancied some extra work.
06:50I need a bouncer at the bar.
06:51Look, it's decent pay, OK?
06:52It's four nights a week,
06:53you can fit it around the other stuff that you eat.
06:56Oh, my God.
06:57Oh, my God.
07:01What's happening?
07:02Your friends have gone now, like me.
07:04Yeah, man, they make them handsome, don't they?
07:07Have a word.
07:08What are you doing?
07:12Oh, I'm gonna need your flat to bag up some product this afternoon.
07:15Yeah, yeah, no, I ain't hoping, mate.
07:16Not a chance.
07:17Ring out with a gov.
07:20Hello.
07:22Sorry, when my son says no,
07:24it means no.
07:27It's Mumsy.
07:27OK, fine.
07:28What time?
07:30Two.
07:32Actually, maybe three.
07:34Lovely to meet you, by the way, Harry.
07:36OK.
07:37Harry, you're still here.
07:53Part of me just wants to hide under the quill,
07:56and then the other part of me knows it's important to mark these moments,
07:59especially for the kids.
08:01A cat's made a cake.
08:02I hope it's not morbid.
08:04I said don't buy them ones.
08:08Are you all right?
08:10You've come in early on, you're late,
08:11and I think you've left your brain in the bed.
08:14Suki wants kids.
08:17Kid.
08:18Singular.
08:19What?
08:21Exactly.
08:21I mean, what the hell is going on?
08:23How did this happen?
08:24I mean, she's in her late 50s, for God's sake.
08:28I thought those hormones were supposed to be switched off by now.
08:31You really sound like a bloke sometimes.
08:33Hang on.
08:34Suki wants a baby with you.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Oh.
08:38No, Stacey, not.
08:39Oh.
08:40Ew.
08:41Why?
08:42I don't want a baby.
08:43Why not?
08:44Look, the great thing about being gay, I wonder,
08:47is that you can stick two fingers up at a convention.
08:50Right, so all of those questions that people feel like they've got the right to ask you,
08:54like, when you're having a kid or when you're having a second,
08:56we don't have to deal with it.
08:57You know, we can just live our lives without any pressure.
09:02You know, I never said I wanted kids, not once.
09:05So just tell her that, then.
09:06You don't want them.
09:08It's not that simple.
09:09She's got that look in her eyes.
09:13You know where she's already decided.
09:16Yeah.
09:17It's like, when Sookie's made up her mind, you know you're in trouble.
09:21What are you going to do, then?
09:24Why don't you come to the drinks this afternoon, take your mind off it?
09:27What drinks?
09:30Martin's birthday.
09:30Hi.
09:31I know you weren't listening.
09:33Sorry, Slice.
09:35Of course.
09:35I'll be there.
09:43Right.
09:43All done, eh?
09:44Mm-hmm.
09:45All done.
09:47Oh, catty.
09:51Here is your one.
09:52Special delivery.
09:54Oh.
09:55Wonder what this could be.
09:58Let's have a look.
10:00Oh, you're getting married 1st of September.
10:03Lovely.
10:04And we're going to have the reception at the meet.
10:06Never heard of it.
10:07Where's that, then?
10:09Here we go.
10:11Oh, Cathy.
10:14Don't you suppose you've got any shifts going, have you?
10:16Post office cut my house.
10:17Oh, no, I'm sorry.
10:18I've just taken Vicky on.
10:20Although, I did hear that they're looking for bouncers over at Harry's Barn.
10:25Bouncers?
10:26Yeah.
10:27Have you thought me?
10:28Well, I mean, obviously, Howie, I'm not on the panel, but, well, it's worth a shot, isn't it?
10:39You're done with me, are you, Landy?
10:40Well, you're not going wedding dress shopping with me.
10:43Joke.
10:44Thank you very much for helping me.
10:46You nearly got me, you know.
10:47I don't want to put my nose in, but I know from experience that gambling, well, it's a mugs game.
11:09Pardon?
11:09Oh, Patrick, you're paying for this wedding in the bookies.
11:15The, um, that's not where the money has come in from, Cathy.
11:18Okay, well, you can turn a blind eye to it if you want.
11:20But believe me, it is a slippery slope.
11:23And I don't want you ending up at the bottom of it like I did with Rocky.
11:27That's all I'm saying.
11:30But, anyway, thank you for the invitation.
11:32Are you all right, Stace?
11:47I've got this memory jar thing.
11:49The kids have written some messages.
11:50I thought we could all read them out later.
11:51Oh, that's lovely.
11:52Thanks, Kat.
11:54Like that weren't rude.
11:55What are you taking for?
11:57They need to give teachers a pay-wise.
11:59These holidays are going to kill me.
12:01Literally.
12:01Trace?
12:03Okay, Stace.
12:05Have a beard, please, Trace.
12:07I wouldn't give for a pint with that bloke right now.
12:10Hi, Stace.
12:11Sorry, but you can't make it.
12:12He's got stomach issues.
12:13Oh, don't worry.
12:14Jean's got the trots and all.
12:16Oh, has she?
12:17I just thought he'd eaten a bad burger.
12:19Reckons it's super spreaders.
12:21Pardon?
12:23Kids.
12:24Okay, right, listen, is everyone here?
12:25Lovely.
12:27Oh, pay attention, everybody.
12:28Listen, um...
12:30Thanks for coming, okay?
12:32As painful as it is, I think it's great that we're all doing this together, yeah?
12:37Even if it means suffering, Kat's baking...
12:39Oh, it's your tits.
12:41Here you go, kids.
12:42Oh, nice.
12:45And then, make a wish.
12:50Yay!
12:53All right, everybody, come on.
12:55Raise your glasses.
12:56This one's for Martin, yeah?
12:58Martin.
12:59Martin.
13:00Good to meet you.
13:03What are you doing here?
13:10What?
13:12Phil's out.
13:12So, I'll be going over later.
13:14Oh, yeah.
13:16It's just...
13:17Can't just hang about here.
13:19I'm in the middle of a job application.
13:21You got a problem with that?
13:22Yes.
13:23No, no.
13:24It completely slipped my mind.
13:25My mum, she's interviewing for people down at Harry's barn.
13:28You should go down there.
13:29Yeah, well, nice of you to think of me, but I'm aiming a bit higher than barmen.
13:33Yeah, of course.
13:35A man of your calibre.
13:36She's after a bar manager.
13:39Really?
13:39Yeah, yeah.
13:40She's had a window open for interviews this afternoon, and she asked me if I knew anyone,
13:44and I thought, well, you.
13:45She said you should go down there.
13:46Well, you mentioned Martin now.
13:47Yeah.
13:48She is.
13:49It's all right.
13:49Anything to help out, mate.
13:51Right, well, have a shower, spruce up, get myself over there.
13:55Well, no, she's interviewing now, like, in the next hour, and my mum's not a woman who
13:58hangs about, so.
14:00Okay.
14:01Let's strike while the iron's up.
14:02Yes, my man!
14:04Okay, looking good.
14:06Right, yeah.
14:08Cool.
14:09All right.
14:11Cheers.
14:11See ya.
14:21Mum, it's me.
14:22Before you get carried away, I'm not waving a white flag, but I might be dusting it off
14:29if you can do me a solid.
14:33What does it say, sweetheart?
14:35I remember when we made Martin a leopard-print money belt.
14:39It was the day we knew he was a sleighter.
14:42Is that him?
14:43No.
14:44It's me.
14:45I can be sentimental sometimes.
14:47Oh, man.
14:49My turn.
14:50Sharon?
14:53Why is it in your scroll?
14:54She, er, got in touch earlier from Australia.
14:56She just said she wanted to be included.
14:58Oh, that's nice.
14:59I remember me and Michelle babysitting Martin when he was a nipper and going to read him
15:04a story, only to find him jumping up and down on the bed, wearing my lipstick in his
15:07birthday suit.
15:09Oh, nice.
15:10Okay, right.
15:11Oh, talking of birthday suits.
15:16Right, and this is, I remember when I pulled Martin's towel off in the kitchen.
15:22Kat.
15:23Guilty.
15:24I was hilarious, wasn't it?
15:26Yes.
15:27You okay?
15:31Yeah.
15:33I'm just saying I wouldn't be here without my kids.
15:35Stace.
15:36No, I'm not trying to persuade you.
15:38I'm just saying they don't take stuff from you.
15:41They give you stuff.
15:43So much.
15:46You pick another one.
15:48Howie, just, just, just swing by later.
15:51All right?
15:52Yeah.
15:54Sorry about that.
15:55Please, take a seat.
15:57Er, I was going to get changed, but Ari insisted that I get here straight away, so.
16:02You're nice and tall, aren't you?
16:06I can't actually remember the last time I had an interview, so I'm a bit rusty.
16:10Lovely big hands.
16:13Well, I've been my own boss.
16:15Most of my adult life, I've been successful by Marbella, and obviously you know about the
16:19Vic.
16:19Sorry, I'm going to stop you there, George.
16:20George, I'm a bit more interested in your brawn than your brains.
16:25I thought you wanted a bar manager.
16:27No, a bouncer.
16:29Oh, Harry should have said...
16:31Bouncer.
16:32Well, yeah.
16:33Sorry, you've got the wrong guy.
16:35Oh.
16:36I think the job's beneath you, dear.
16:37Well, I'm not about to start being a door boy at this age, so...
16:40Thanks all the same.
16:42Where are you going?
16:43Home.
16:44I didn't think you had a home.
16:46Excuse me?
16:47Oh, sorry.
16:50That was a joke.
16:51Please.
16:57Harry must have got confused.
16:59I thought you realised the position was for a bouncer.
17:02Right?
17:02I'm not trying to mug you off.
17:03God knows.
17:05I'm not going to judge someone for having a car crash of a personal life, am I?
17:09I mean, I live on me own, my marriage has just blown up, and my eldest son ain't talking
17:12to me.
17:13I mean, honestly, George, I may be smiling, but on the inside, I am screaming.
17:19What?
17:20Not in a psycho way.
17:22Look, chill out.
17:23Do you want a drink?
17:25All right.
17:33Man, I have had my eyes on this horse for a long, long time.
17:37You know, it's form has been building nicely, and the conditions today, man, it's perfect.
17:42Patrick, a word.
17:43All right, baby.
17:44What is it?
17:47It's my fault.
17:49My eyes have grown bigger than our bank balance.
17:51That is what is driving you to do all this.
17:55It's getting out of hand, Patrick.
17:56I can't condone it.
17:58You can't condone it.
18:01I don't want belts.
18:02I don't want whistles.
18:04I just want you, as you are.
18:07I don't want you battered and broken into destitution just because of a wedding.
18:11Please, my mother, I don't follow.
18:13I wish you would.
18:14You'd attract the gambling in my...
18:16Baby, I know what I'm doing, man.
18:18Patrick, your horse lost earlier in the week.
18:22Yeah, but that means that my bad luck caught anyway.
18:24Patrick, I'm not asking you.
18:25I'm telling you.
18:26Just stop it.
18:28Give me a kiss.
18:34Okay.
18:34So sweet.
18:47Wait, when it last year was in the Square Gardens, were you celebrating his mistake, thought you?
18:53It's horrendous.
18:54I'm going to feel awful.
18:56I was making jokes about eye cream for weeks.
18:58I mean...
18:58To be fair, he loved it.
19:00He did, he did.
19:02Hi.
19:02Jackie.
19:04Hi.
19:04Hi.
19:05This is good now.
19:06Mike.
19:07Hello.
19:08You all right?
19:09Yeah.
19:09Hot stuff.
19:10Oh.
19:11What can I get you?
19:12Someone's tipsy.
19:14Yeah, I might have had a couple of drinks.
19:15Actually, I think this is Bonnie's white wine, so we could just sit in a glass room.
19:21Oh, no.
19:22Just an orange juice, please.
19:24Well, we're celebrating.
19:25Can I?
19:25Yeah, I just, um, won't have a chat later.
19:28I need to clear head for it.
19:30Oh.
19:31Oh.
19:33Oh.
19:33Oh, that is a beautiful dress.
19:37How lovely do you look?
19:39Oh.
19:43What?
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:45You.
19:46Just so transparent.
19:48What do you mean?
19:49Well, you think that me seeing you with a cute kid is gonna make me all gooey-eyed?
19:54What?
19:55I don't want kids, okay?
19:57I never said I did, so, can you please just drop it?
20:01Thanks.
20:02Thanks for thinking about it.
20:05I'll get the only shoes.
20:06Yes.
20:13Ian.
20:19Manifested that to your ground yet?
20:21No.
20:21And what are you doing here?
20:25I was starving.
20:26Even my boy Einstein couldn't have cracked relativity on an empty stomach.
20:30Ian.
20:31Ian.
20:32Please.
20:34Are you sure you won't pop in?
20:35For Martin's sake.
20:36I can remember Martin without sharing oxygen with the Slaters.
20:40I thought we might go to his grave, you know.
20:42Mason Flowers.
20:44Mum, I'd love to.
20:45All right?
20:46But, half my staff are off with my own virus.
20:49I'm stuck here.
20:50Consider yourself unstuck.
20:54I'll never get sick.
20:56I've got all those, uh, super human immune system things going on, so...
21:01Yeah, I'll step into the breach.
21:04You are joking.
21:05I know.
21:06It's a generous offer.
21:07Don't feel bad.
21:08Family's important.
21:10And we all love Martin.
21:12You never met Martin.
21:13Never met him if he shouted me either.
21:15Love is real.
21:16And Martin, he was a legend.
21:19Hmm?
21:20Ian.
21:20He's right, isn't he?
21:22Come on, please.
21:23We should mark today.
21:25Come on.
21:27Give us the penny.
21:32I've been shunning a rump shit.
21:34Bright boy, Brian.
21:36Selling shits.
21:38I've got this.
21:41But you think you're past the stage where you make your kids cringe, eh?
21:45You know, Kodo starts.
21:50Sometimes I'll stand too close to him.
21:52And he shudders.
21:54Literally.
21:55I thought he was your brother.
21:57He is?
21:59Tragic, isn't it?
21:59I mean, I'm calling.
22:02I mean, you know, calling those people.
22:06Ian Beale.
22:07Oh, God, George.
22:08That isn't aiming very high, is it?
22:12Well, I shouldn't.
22:13Come on, what's the point in having a midlife crisis if we can't enjoy it?
22:17I think you're fine.
22:18I'm well being on the halfway stage.
22:20You look young.
22:21That's all that matters.
22:22And I reckon they invented the midlife crisis so we could get away with doing things we shouldn't.
22:30Can I ask you something?
22:33You and Elaine.
22:35What was that about?
22:37What do you mean?
22:37It's no offence.
22:38It's just I imagine you, right, with someone a lot more...
22:42I had someone.
22:43I thought more.
22:45Whatever that means.
22:47It didn't end well.
22:49Elaine's a good woman.
22:51I'll not have a bad word silly about her, all right?
22:53Mm.
22:54I respect that.
22:55It's refreshing to have someone not slag off their ex.
22:59And it's a good quality I look for in a bouncer.
23:02No, come on, I mean it, right?
23:03I don't want some thug working my door.
23:07I want someone with good judgement.
23:09Someone who can keep their head.
23:12I'm drinking whiskey in the middle of the day.
23:15So I would say my judgement is a bit questionable.
23:17Yeah, well, you're just following boss's orders.
23:21Another quality I look for in an employee.
23:27I should go.
23:28You should do a lot of things.
23:31But, you know, sometimes...
23:33the things you shouldn't do...
23:36are a lot more fun.
23:39I'm sorry.
23:40I'm sorry.
23:40I'm sorry.
23:41I'm sorry.
23:41I'm sorry.
23:42I'm sorry.
23:42I'm sorry.
23:43I'm sorry.
23:43I'm sorry.
23:44Oh, yeah.
23:44Oh, yeah.
23:45Oh, yeah.
24:00Done.
24:00Oh, make sure you whack them phones as well, you know?
24:04Good boy.
24:06Good boy.
24:07He, he, he, he, he, he, he.
24:09Good boy.
24:10Good boy.
24:12OK.
24:13Good boy.
24:14Good boy.
24:31Do you need to get them?
24:32Hmm.
24:35Problem?
24:37No.
24:55I'm sorry, that was clumsy.
25:03Forgive me.
25:07Look, it's just, you're suddenly saying all this stuff, you know, about wanting a kid.
25:11It's just really freaking me out.
25:12Yeah, I can see that.
25:16I love you and I love our life and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
25:21Yeah, me too.
25:22Right, so surely that's enough?
25:24It is.
25:25I never said it wasn't.
25:28And it's because I'm happy with you that I want this.
25:30You don't even like kids.
25:32I do.
25:33I can't imagine you're on the floor playing Lego covered in goop.
25:36Well, no, because that would be your job.
25:37Me?
25:38Yeah.
25:41Because you were the big kid.
25:42Hey?
25:43I'd teach them discipline and teach them to tell the time and you would do the silly voices and get them riding a bike.
25:53We'd be a brilliant team, Eve.
25:59And you would be an amazing parent.
26:02You don't know that.
26:03That's what it's about, isn't it?
26:07You're scared.
26:09It's okay.
26:09I'm just not wired for it.
26:10Says who?
26:11Says...
26:12Says your mum, your dad, your guilty conscience.
26:14Come on.
26:16Hey, you are the most fearless person I know.
26:19We've all got demons.
26:22This voice inside our head that tells us we don't deserve something.
26:26And maybe somewhere, on some level, those words have gone in.
26:30I mean, my mum did say, at least you won't have kids.
26:37At least that gene won't get passed on, so that's a blessing.
26:40I mean, I know, I know, I know it's ridiculous.
26:42It's homophobic nonsense, but...
26:45Maybe you are right.
26:48And maybe I've never gotten over it.
26:51Because I never had to, right?
26:54Because...
26:54No one ever made me feel like it was an option.
26:58Until now.
26:58Eve, you are kind, you're caring, you're funny and patient.
27:07You'd be an amazing mum.
27:10You would.
27:16Family?
27:18Yeah.
27:19Our own little family.
27:24Shh.
27:26Wow.
27:28Is that a good well or a bad well?
27:31It's a good well.
27:32Yeah, it's a good well.
27:34I'm not saying definitely yes, okay.
27:37I'm not.
27:38But we can look at...
27:40At some options.
27:41See what's possible.
27:43So you'll consider it?
27:47For you.
27:48So you up for it then?
27:59You up for having my baby?
28:00Bye.