- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09Yeah, it's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um...
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah.
04:12You too.
04:13You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:14You don't have to wait.
04:15Thank you, though.
04:16I'm not.
04:17I'm actually...
04:18I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:19Do you have to do it right here?
04:20It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:22I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:23I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:24I'm not.
04:25I'm not.
04:26I'm not.
04:27I'm actually...
04:28I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:29Do you have to do it right here?
04:30It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:35I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:36Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:37Drama Queen 2020?
04:38Oh, man.
04:39What?
04:40This is epic.
04:41This is a mistake.
04:42Look, forgive me.
04:43I'm not.
04:44I'll be here any second.
04:45I'll be here any second.
04:46You don't have to wait.
04:47Thank you, though.
04:48I'm not.
04:49I'm actually...
04:50I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:51Do you have to do it right here?
04:52It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:55Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Hot shot 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:20What?
05:21That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a date, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming,
05:52and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
05:59Fine.
06:00But we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:07So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:22Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:30You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:35Where did we go on our first date?
06:38We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow, how romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:57How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:18Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:21Nope.
08:22No more of that.
08:23Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:24What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:25You already look amazing with that.
08:26You can save the theatrics for now.
08:27We're not at the party yet.
08:28No.
08:29I'm serious.
08:30You look beautiful.
08:31You always do.
08:33I guess I'm just nervous.
08:34Don't worry.
08:35I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:36Promise.
08:37I mean, you shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:52I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:56Okay, now I know you're joking.
09:00I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:04and you're ridiculously smart you started all the school plays got every solo and chorus
09:09it's still a time for math leads
09:13i can't believe you know all that i always thought you just ignored me you're my little
09:18brother's girlfriend i had to keep my distance but i still paid attention you know when you drop
09:24the whole too cool for school act you're actually a pretty decent guy damon cornell hey careful
09:31i have a reputation doable no i'm serious i think you might actually make a great boyfriend
09:37i i mean when you finally decided to try with someone of course
09:44claire we're here
10:00so
10:05people are looking why are they looking they're looking because you're with me
10:10when you're with me you actually get to have some fun
10:30i'm gonna give this drinks i'll be right back
10:53okay wow wow it looks like things are heating up i know right it's almost like operation jealousy
11:06might actually work yeah no i was talking about you two what you and the town hottie
11:12no i mean we're just i don't know pretending or actually having fun for once you know you two
11:19kind of look cute together plus i haven't seen you smile this much in a long time oh my god there he
11:26is oh my god there he is see he can't be over me look at his face oh my gosh is that chelsea
11:35so much for girl code and i thought she was your friend
11:40he said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl
11:54time to af this party up did someone say never have ever
11:58ever let's play i don't think that's a good idea come on it'll be fun
12:12so wait why don't you go first okay um never have i ever fantasized about a teacher
12:30cute now let's see never have i ever been pathetic enough to crash max's birthday party
12:37oh okay cute now let's see never have i ever been pathetic enough to crash max's birthday party
12:52never have i ever been some loser's side chick never have i ever been desperate enough to swoop
12:57in on someone's ex never have i ever cheated on someone completely out of my league never have
13:02i ever slept with basically every girl in this room face it claire you'll never be more than just
13:13another number to him claire claire seriously claire you're gonna show up to my party just to start
13:26drama no i didn't do anything it was chelsea don't blame chelsea you're just jealous
13:32you know what you two deserve each other hey dude are you okay because that game was
13:42brutal and where did damon run off to i don't know he said he was going to be by my side the entire
13:48night and i thought we were doesn't even matter anymore is claire sanders actually breaking protocol
13:57no matter how hard i plan or how carefully i try to put my life into this perfect little box
14:02it all comes crashing down around me and now the one guy i might actually have real feelings for is
14:08off god knows where probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app so yeah i'm i'm done
14:15planning plans can suck it
14:31hey sorry i ran out like that left my phone in the car and i had to grab it to get on the app
14:35of course what just wait wait where are you going home and don't worry i'll still write a good review
14:42for you i wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates hey talk to me you just left me in there
14:50i know i'm sorry i wasn't thinking i don't care anymore damon look you were right jake's an ass
14:56so the plan this it's over what if i don't want it to be over what if i don't want it to be over
15:07you could have your pick of any girl out there so why don't you just get on the app and find
15:11someone else yeah i got on the app because i wanted to delete it what i deactivated my account
15:18why would you do that look i know i'm just another number you're not just another number okay you never
15:24were i don't want a fake date with you anymore all right i want a real one
15:37i thought you said that real relationships never work well maybe i realize that you're the risk worth
15:45taking
15:54come on slap shot 239 pick me home
16:11are you sure i'm doing this right yeah just make sure these two dots match they'll make that
16:22side a little bit bigger okay i'm trusting the process i'm just glad we get to go sag together
16:29you never got a date right no date but damon's really not coming i bought him a ticket in case
16:35he change his mind but he won't budge well that's his loss because you are about to be the best
16:41homecoming queen that we have ever seen no way i don't even know how i got nominated and of course
16:48jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins i feel like the only reason
16:52i'm on there is because people want to see what chelsea will do if i win knowing her she'll probably
16:57dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head at least she's vegan so you know it'll be synthetic
17:03maybe jake like campaigned for you guys to reignite something because i heard rumblings that him and
17:09chelsea aren't doing too hot right now ooh trouble and cheaters paradise shocker where did you even hear
17:16that anyway i don't even remember you know gossip travels that looks pretty good but it could also be
17:26your newfound popularity from dating damon it hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked
17:31up on a motorcycle every single day yes damon my knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered
17:39to take his girlfriend to her school dance i mean at least he's hot so hot
17:49it's so weird that joey didn't ask you to be a state um not that weird we haven't talked in a while
17:54why i thought you were starting to dig him as soon as i figured out that our names couldn't have one
17:58of those cool celebrity abbreviations it was over before it began jay zoey joey absolutely not
18:08well more zoey for me nothing's gonna keep us apart oh it's damon oh it's damon or should i say clareman
18:18can i call you back to finish this yeah you can clareman but you better because we need to finish
18:24this look okay bye hey beautiful what's up with your eyes it's not finished yet you look like amy
18:34whitehouse on a tuesday morning zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight ah yes i almost forgot
18:41who i was speaking with my sincerest apologies your royalness i know how you can make it up to me
18:48nope come on you're seriously gonna let me do this alone you're not gonna be alone i thought you were
18:54wrong with zoe plus if you listen very carefully i bet you can hear jake yep there's jake bouncing
19:01off the walls dude is pumped yeah because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like
19:07he does yeah for now what do you mean chelsea's been soft ghosting him i don't think she's that
19:13excited about the dance why could that be because yours truly got nominated and she didn't oh yeah i'm
19:22sure that's it i bet that is it she's gonna be so pissed if i win queen for the night she's gonna be so
19:30pissed if i win queen for the night and then you know for the rest of the school year because
19:37i would have to play in prom and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen and then
19:41i seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are how could you not be
19:48because nobody cares about this king queen stuff as much as you and jake it's lame easy for you to
19:53say you got nominated all four years and didn't even show up i get this seems like a big deal to you now
19:58but i promise when you get out of high school you'll realize none of this stuff matters
20:02wow and uh you think chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness no i'm not talking about
20:11her you know come to think of it um if you both are so mature maybe you should skip the dance together
20:16get a cheese board and you know talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters
20:24oh look someone my age is calling i didn't mean claire
20:29i need to fix this hey jake claire hey um thanks for picking up
20:43whoa did did zoe do this to you it's a work in progress what's up cool um i just wanted to call
20:54you and touch base and just you know make sure that things don't get awkward tonight
21:01you mean if we win oh we're gonna win is chelsea gonna be upset if win we win if um if she looks
21:14up from her phone long enough to notice maybe oh texting someone else be a shame if she were in like
21:20a secret relationship that would suck look claire i know that i can never apologize enough for what i did
21:27but i really am sorry i didn't mean to hurt you and if i could take it back i i would it's fine
21:39it's fine just at least she'll be there damon won't even come yeah i never really understood his
21:47thing with dances i mean like we always had a great time i know it's a chance to get like dressed up and
21:53have fun and make grand romantic gestures jinx don't tell anyone that i just said that
22:04whoa is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year yeah i can't believe i'll finally
22:11be able to wear it and i can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going
22:18together yeah you neither i hope we win so we at least get one dance together well how about either
22:31way we make it happen one dance before the night's over deal as long as you promise not to step on my
22:39dress like you did junior year that was sophomore year it was both
22:42fine as long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves what you mean
22:52this one oh god my eyes stop it my eyes
23:01what like you can do better oh come on anyone can do better than whatever that was let's see by all means
23:12oh uh sorry chelsea's calling me i should get it i'll see you later yeah yeah see ya
23:42hello hello just trying to show you what you're missing wow you look incredible thanks are you
24:01are you going somewhere yeah there's a cheese board with my name on it i need to get to
24:05look i'm sorry about before i know it's just a stupid dance but it's my last homecoming and
24:13i don't know i really wanted you to be there yeah i'm sorry too i i should have known how important
24:18it was to you it's okay how do you how do you do this you're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese
24:26board with your brother's girlfriend if you think i'm gonna let my brother have all the fun you're crazy
24:31it's gonna match your dress you're coming and you got me a corsage is it against the rule to bring
24:39your own crowns i just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are
24:44my grandmother just cute wait what nothing nothing i'm just talking to myself okay well how about a
24:51little less chit chat and a little more boogie come on claire we got a homecoming to get to and i
24:55for one and wear my dancing shoes okay this part always gets me
25:16yes yes yes it is that's so sad are you watching hockey right now what no no i mean i'm i'm not
25:31not watching hockey oh come on babe tell me some slack it's my birthday tomorrow these are two of my
25:36favorite teams this is a classic damon anybody who's anybody who's seen this classics just code for old
25:43i don't know why i bother trying to culture you anyway what's the plans for tomorrow birthday boy
25:51well since i've been away for two weeks i was thinking i could kiss your face for the first half
25:55of the day and then you know we got the party later crap crap crap um nico guitar flames is calling who's that
26:07i i completely forgot i have a lesson now is this why you've gotten so into the guitar lane
26:18hey my favorite student and my favorite student's friend we we were just watching the long way and we
26:26lost track of time oh yes i see you took my recommendation such a classic boyfriend what
26:37i'm not her friend i'm her boyfriend oh lucky guy who was just leaving hi demon i mean i can stay
26:46i'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately no i i mean no no she's right
26:53music is so personal so intimate something to be shared between two or three oh no almost never three
27:00young love such a beautiful thing love who said i i don't we i i we don't um
27:12have you ever been in love of course yeah i've been in love a bunch of times i mean i'm not a
27:22not a bunch of times the normal amount of times there's just a lot of pressure on when to say it
27:30you know there's just there's a lot of stress and then yeah you know who should say it first or
27:34when you should say it or if if they'll ever say it back and maybe i can help you find a way to say
27:41should we begin should we begin yeah
27:54that's awesome i'm i'm also good you know i've been away at training camp for a couple
28:10weeks coming home tomorrow so here's a funny little question for you claire's guitar teacher
28:21nico yeah he's he's not even that good looking like at all oh no he's a solid 9.5 and then him
28:29playing guitar takes him to about a 12. i just think it's it's it's weird you know we she's doubled
28:36her lessons while i've been away and we're watching movies they both like wouldn't you feel a little
28:41bit weird about your girlfriend hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week i thought
28:45you said he wasn't good looking zoe okay i wouldn't feel great about it but i'd be confident in my
28:55relationship i would know that she really wants to be with me and not him i just don't get it i mean
29:01she's being so secretive about it i haven't even heard her play anything yeah damon i don't know
29:08don't you have any guy friends to call about this who am i going to talk to zoe guys don't talk about
29:13stuff if only you knew somebody that dated claire and knew her really really well jake yeah is that
29:19weird i mean it can't be weirder than you calling me about this yeah okay you're right you're good
29:26friends though claire's lucky to have you on her side don't stress i'm sure there's absolutely
29:31nothing to worry about plus isn't it your birthday tomorrow look us on that yeah thanks now i'll see you tomorrow
29:49hey birthday boy not until tomorrow where's jake he's in the shower he just got back from practice and
29:55he's disgusting i was totally going to wish you a happy birthday but i didn't have your number yeah
30:01let's keep it that way so what's on the agenda what time am i picking you up tonight kidding
30:07obviously does perfect claire have a perfect little date planned other than running off the guitar teacher
30:14probably not oh that's right she starts signing with nico wait you know nico yeah i set them up he's
30:21amazing so so talented so so talented what do you mean you set them up well she was saying a few
30:29weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn so yeah i don't know i suggested nico oh great
30:34so this is your fault thanks a lot where was i sitting right next to her not listening per usual
30:40that's not that's not true i listen whatever anyway out of the kindness of my generous heart
30:49i suggested nico every girl should have a few lessons with him he teaches you so much i wouldn't
30:56expect your smashed hockey brain to understand what exactly wouldn't i understand what exactly wouldn't i
31:02understand music art culture languages you're not like afraid she's gonna ditch you for a guy she can
31:10actually have a conversation with are you but we have conversations chelsea is jake out of the shower
31:17yet oh yeah the what huh hockey and then hockey oh of course right there's always hockey seriously
31:25though damon hockey is like your one true love and it's kind of boring i love other things like what
31:32like claire and i don't want her running off with some guitar playing art culture looking snob all
31:40right look i'm not saying i'm an expert on all things claire but dating brothers has forced us to
31:48hang out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually kind of interesting
31:56so maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes yeah
32:00it's actually not terrible advice
32:04considered my birthday gift to you gee thanks a lot
32:09so what are you still doing here go before she hires nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow
32:16bye so what are you still doing here go before she hires nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow
32:22bye yeah yeah okay whatever thanks bye
32:37hey i was just gonna call you you're all dressed up demon um i've been wanting to tell you how i feel
32:49and and i i this was going to be your birthday surprise but i just i didn't think i could wait
32:57you're the cream in my coffee you're the apple of my eye you make me wanna laugh when i think i'm gonna cry
33:18like you're the one so there's one thing i must do
33:27i have to say
33:31i love you
33:34i love you too
33:37moment stealer i'm sorry but i needed you to know it i love you so much claire and i'm sorry that i got
33:44weird earlier but i talked to zoe and you talked to zoe yeah and and she told me not to worry and
33:50she told me that she always has your back which i love hello and i talked to chelsea
33:56ew why didn't you talk to chelsea i don't know she sucks but she did say one thing that wasn't terrible
34:03i want to make more of an effort to share your interests claire i want to watch whatever you want
34:08to watch and talk about musicals even the old ones i don't care just no subtitles deal deal okay
34:18babe yeah do you think i could finish my song i i worked really hard on it yes please
34:24blue white baby as bright as the sky hit it in the cloud but never felt so high
34:37i think you're the one so there's one thing i must do
34:44i have to say
34:48i love you
34:54did you change your pillowcases no claire do not leave them there that looks like trash
35:04do you have time to do a load of laundry not really but yeah did you get the champagne yes
35:11chocolates rose petals massage oils scented candles all of that claire i'm i'm playing with you i literally
35:19don't understand why you're freaking out right now one damon's been in your room and two you're not a
35:24virgin i'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers true that's awkward is there a term for that sleeping
35:33with brothers
35:37please do not ever google that ever you're not helping so look this is a big night
35:45after tonight that's it what do you mean this is it
35:48like me and damon there's no going back going back to what to jake have you guys been talking or
35:56something no not talking just i don't know we dated for so long it it feels like a betrayal you know
36:06and plus i know chelsea broke up with him so i know he's not in a good place
36:09about time she dragged that on long enough what's that supposed to be nothing claire i don't think
36:17you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal you're good you think they'll talk about it oh my
36:23god what if they compare notes oh god that's so awkward i think the only one that gets to do the
36:28comparing is you plus damon is going to be ten times better than jake think about all that experience
36:33why would you say that so i didn't even think of it like that he's been with so many girls what if
36:42he thinks i don't know what i'm doing god thanks a lot it's just what i needed that's literally not
36:49what i meant at all well it's damon wish me luck bye
37:01hey
37:04you are definitely running late but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good i'll let it
37:11slide you are definitely running late but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good i'll
37:19let it slide hey uh so i got some news bad news no just uh do you remember natasha natasha your super
37:31hot ex who ran away to like live off the land in japan ride her bicycle across thailand but yeah
37:37great so you remember she's back oh so it's horrible news i know we're supposed to hang tonight do you
37:43mind if i rain check do i mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex
37:50girlfriend let me think about that i know it's a little bit weird but i promise she just wants to
37:56stop by show me some pictures and she's leaving again in like a week wait wait she's coming over
38:01to your place why can't you just insta stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend
38:08actually uh do not she is the literal girl version of you that's exactly why we didn't work trust me
38:15it's strictly a friend i don't know i know who you guys were when you were together you couldn't keep
38:20your hands off each other yeah now i can't keep my hands off you i'm being serious we both have exes
38:26claire come on don't forget i had to watch you date my brother for two years don't forget i had to watch
38:31you date my brother for two years okay i don't want to fight i just i really wanted to spend time
38:37with you tonight i was hoping this could be our special she's here i gotta go love you
38:57i know i said i wanted updates but definitely did not mean in real time
39:01haha funny you know what else is funny damon running off with his ex-girlfriend wow which one
39:09please don't say natasha didn't she move to the philippines thailand and just for the year
39:18sadly damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense and now she's returned to ruin my
39:25perfect night claire she's an influencer not a comic book villain same difference okay
39:31natasha's back but that doesn't have to mean anything was damon acting excited or weird he
39:37showered okay he's pretty he does that anything else i i trust damon i don't trust her
39:48shit she just posted a story i i can't look at it she'll know she has 80 000 followers she's not
39:55gonna see your name i can't look zoe you look what is it are they are they kissing are they back
40:04together okay maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out
40:08why would you have me look at that
40:20this is it you're gonna get married have two and a half kids and have a yurt in iceland
40:25you know i did hear that reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime actually
40:29again with the not helping but this was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives i i'm allowed
40:36to be disappointed but you're being insane damon loves you he's not getting back together with
40:41natasha did you see the photo he is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me not her they're not
40:49snuggling and to be fair you didn't tell him about this perfect night so you can't be mad at him for not
40:54being a mind reader you didn't tell him about this perfect night so you can't be mad at him for not
40:59being a mind reader what's going on why are you taking my side on this nothing's wrong with me i'm
41:06just saying that like whatever i gotta go don't trip i'm sure it'll be fine
41:26hi are you calling from reykjavik what nothing where are you thought you were hanging out with
41:33attention uh yeah i was but you know there's only so many pictures of thailand a person can take
41:38what happened nothing what nothing nothing or something nothing you were right that was a bad
41:47idea it was stupid for me to think we could just hang his friends she hasn't changed at all i mean
41:51she invited me to go to bali with her and she tried to kiss me wait you kissed no no she tried look i'm
42:00really sorry claire i shouldn't put myself in that position did you want to kiss her no way are you
42:06kidding you're the only person i want to kiss like ever why don't you say that to my face why don't you
42:14let me up i'm outside you're here wait are you sure i only have 700 followers please you know she bought
42:22all those followers right what 100 but do i see some black silk under there i'm much more interested
42:30in that come on let me up keep going now target zone for the tree punches right for the front of the
42:42face palms are down elbows are tight there we go now we're gonna demons texted me i love you three times
42:50since this morning who need to get some mushy after sex that's awesome and he took me out for
42:56breakfast did i say that already like four times oh well now i guess i said it five anyway did you hear
43:04that natasha pays for her followers how embarrassing and sad is that two uppercuts let's go uppercuts
43:12target zone where is it underneath the chin elbow tight to the body now wow that's actually the first
43:19question you've asked me in months whoa are you mad at me not mad i'm just tired well we can pause it i
43:28mean no claire i'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've been doing since you started dating
43:34damon i don't know what you're talking about you realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming
43:38together right and then damon came and the only time you call me is to ask or talk about damon and now
43:44damon's calling me to talk about you and i am tired of it we're supposed to be best friends right
43:50i am your best friend no i'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel i am your best
43:56friend no i'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel well i'm sorry i'm talking a
44:01little too much about my boyfriend but i don't think it's fair to say that i've been a bad friend i
44:05mean well i think a good friend would notice that their best friend has been going through something
44:10huge the past few months oh my god what zoe are you okay yeah i'm actually great i've been seeing
44:19someone and it's getting pretty serious but it's been exhausting not being able to just talk to you
44:26about it you can talk to me about anything this is so exciting who is it it's not important what do
44:33you mean it's not important i want to know who stole my besties heart come on she didn't steal anything
44:39it just kind of happened i didn't think we'd get along so well but she's just perfect okay so we've
44:49established it's a girl i mean that shrinks the pool a little but you still haven't given me a good enough
44:55hint okay maybe she's not perfect and it's just like the honeymoon phase talking i don't know i don't
45:02know what we are it's like we're dating but we haven't put a label on it yet i guess it's just like
45:10a little bit more complicated for chelsea what does chelsea have to do with this because i'm the first
45:17girl she's ever been with i guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for chelsea
45:23what does chelsea have to do with this because i'm the first girl she's ever been with
45:28Hold on. You're dating Chelsea? Like, like ruined my life, Chelsea. Are you kidding me? We hate Chelsea!
45:39You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right?
45:42Okay, but we don't care about Jake. We care about me, right?
45:46So you're the other woman now.
45:48That's not fair. Especially because she wasn't even that into him.
45:51I'm sorry, what? She weaseled into our two-year relationship because she wasn't that into him?
45:58Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that? Aren't you in heaven with Damon? Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months.
46:05Well, I'm sorry I didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself. I would have talked you out of it.
46:13You don't even know her, Claire.
46:15Seems like I don't know either of you.
46:17And whose fault is that? Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once, you get up on your high horse and you rain judgment on everyone below you.
46:31I'm over it.
46:42Well, that went well.
46:44Uh-oh. How bad?
46:46If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a tin, then that was a 14.7.
46:52Gross.
46:53I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't happen easy, but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her? That feels like a small win.
47:01I guess.
47:02I don't know. It's-it's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her.
47:06Like, I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect that.
47:12I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe.
47:18Cool.
47:20Cool.
47:21Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time.
47:28I just wish that Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me.
47:36Whatever.
47:37I don't need her. I have you.
47:40As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much history to throw it away.
47:46But that dumpster fire I was talking about? Yeah, it's active.
47:49Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
47:56Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years being the needy one.
48:02Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done. I'm over it.
48:08I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason with Claire, you just bottled it up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:17Well, she dominates every single conversation with, me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:23So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you were feeling?
48:29Or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:32Maybe.
48:35Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:40Why do you have to be so perfect?
48:45Bad habit.
48:47Alright, let me figure this out.
48:51Okay, call me back. Bye.
48:54Hey, what's going on?
48:58Chelsea? Did I open a curse box? Was I a serial killer in a past life? What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me.
49:09I will literally murder.
49:11She hasn't dated me.
49:12I will literally murder.
49:14Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:20No, do you?
49:22No. Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:27I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh yeah, another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:37What?
49:40Nothing, I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:44I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:53Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:55Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did?
49:58Okay, so you think I'm the jerk.
50:01No, no. I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:09Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it babe, you know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:18I was wrong.
50:20You're still very cute though, and I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:31Okay, I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:42And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:48Of course. You got this.
50:55Pick up, please pick up.
50:59Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:03I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:10I messed up.
51:12You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I freaked.
51:16I'm just, I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:19But that doesn't matter.
51:23Because this isn't about me.
51:25Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:28Seriously, Claire, I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:33I think she might be my person.
51:38If you're happy.
51:40I'm happy.
51:42Truly.
51:43Look, I love you, so.
51:45You're my best friend.
51:47And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:50You're my best friend.
51:52And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:56You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
51:59Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:09I'm sorry too.
52:11I should've told you way sooner.
52:13It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but...
52:21If you guys just gave each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:25Wait...
52:27Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:29But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:36Now, spill the deets.
52:41You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just...
52:46Your special night?
52:48This place was supposed to be a good night.
52:49What was your nice name?
52:50You're supposed to have a good night?
52:51I was talking to my point.
52:52It's funny.
52:53Well, you know what the hell is wrong with you?
52:55No, no.
52:56I had to practice.
52:57But if I was like, you know.
52:58I don't know when I was like, you know.
52:59I knew what I was like.
53:00You don't know what the hell?
53:01I didn't know what I was like.
53:02I wasn't even playing.
53:03I did even playing a college, but you're like a college.
53:04And I was like, you're like, I wanna go.
53:05I'm gonna have a job.
53:06I can't sit here.
53:08And when you know.
53:09And I was like, you know, you don't have any guy.
53:10And I'm gonna fucker.
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53:00
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