- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01Senior year, the culmination of all my careful planning.
00:05Perfect grades, the model boyfriend.
00:08It's all falling into place.
00:11Hey, Jake.
00:13What'd you want to talk about?
00:15We need to break up.
00:16What?
00:17Come on, Claire.
00:18Things haven't been working out for a while.
00:20But everything was going so well.
00:22I've been seeing someone else.
00:24It's okay, Claire.
00:26I mean, it's not the end of the world.
00:28You'll find someone, you'll find someone.
00:32Claire.
00:34My jacket.
00:44See, it's cool.
00:50Look, I get it's only been a week, but this moping, it's gotta stop.
00:55We were together for two years, Zoe.
00:57Exactly.
00:58Forget him.
00:59This is our senior year.
01:00Literally the perfect time to just start fresh.
01:03I don't want to start fresh.
01:04I just want Jake back.
01:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07Pause.
01:08You want to get back together with him?
01:10Of course I do.
01:11Even though he cheated on you.
01:13Even though he cheated on you.
01:16Everyone makes mistakes.
01:18Oh, okay.
01:19Look, sooner or later he's gonna realize how much he misses me.
01:22You know you're my best friend, right?
01:24Yeah.
01:25So seeing you like this, it honestly kills me.
01:30So if you really, really want to get back together with Jake, then I'm willing to help you.
01:37Really?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
01:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:42Okay, there's one thing you can do.
01:44Like, one thing that'll drive him crazy and just straight back into your arms.
01:47What is it?
01:48Operation Jealousy.
01:50Operation Jealousy?
01:52Yep.
01:53You gotta make him crazy jealous and then he'll be crawling on his knees begging to get back
01:57together with you.
01:58Okay, and how do I do that?
02:01Simple.
02:02You bring a hot guy to his birthday party tomorrow.
02:05I don't know.
02:06Seems kind of crazy to me.
02:08Well, you need to trust me because it's gonna work.
02:10Okay, well how am I supposed to find a new boyfriend in the next 24 hours?
02:14Babe, it's 2020.
02:16You know that anything's possible.
02:18Plus, I found this new app called BF Bundle where you can hire a fake boyfriend for the
02:24night.
02:25Wait, how do you know about this?
02:27This is about you.
02:28This is about you.
02:29So...
02:30Okay, well how does it work?
02:32Well, first we need to create your profile.
02:34And...
02:35Done.
02:36Now we just wait.
02:38Actually, hold on.
02:40I'm gonna add a bio to make you seem a little bit more...
02:43fun.
02:45Okay, I am plenty of fun.
02:47Look at you right now.
02:49Okay, fair enough.
02:50Yeah.
02:51And...
02:52Oh, oh, whoa.
02:53You already have a match, dude.
02:54You have a match.
02:55And the reviews are raving that he is a total hottie.
02:58Oh my god, let me see.
03:00Swoonworthy.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Local athlete.
03:03He has a five-star rating.
03:04Yeah, that sounds perfect for you.
03:06Wait, why aren't there any photos?
03:07Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy app.
03:09Yeah, it's a privacy app.
03:10It's a privacy app.
03:11It's a privacy app.
03:12It's a privacy app.
03:13It's a privacy app.
03:14It's a privacy app.
03:15Um, oh, the app says it's a privacy thing.
03:17You have to commit to at least a meet-up.
03:19Oh.
03:20I'll take this.
03:22Let's see.
03:23Wait, what are you doing?
03:24Uh...
03:25Done.
03:27You're meeting him today.
03:29Today?
03:30Yeah.
03:31Like, this today?
03:32This one.
03:33So...
03:34Let's get dressed.
03:35Zoey!
03:36Yeah!
03:37Zoey!
03:38Too soon!
03:49Damon!
03:50Hey.
03:51I thought you were at a hockey convention all summer.
03:54No, it ended.
03:55I just got back into town.
03:56Plus, Jake wouldn't stop going on about his big birthday bash.
03:59Guess I'll see you there?
04:01Um...
04:02No.
04:03Actually, we broke up.
04:04Oh.
04:05Oh, man.
04:06I'm sorry to hear that.
04:07Thanks.
04:08Well, I'm meeting someone, so have a good night.
04:11Yeah.
04:12You too.
04:13You know, I'm sure they'll be here any second.
04:14You don't have to wait.
04:15Thank you, though.
04:16I'm not.
04:17I'm actually...
04:18I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:19Do you have to do it right here?
04:20It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:22I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:23I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:24I'm not.
04:25I'm not.
04:26I'm not.
04:27I'm actually...
04:28I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:29Do you have to do it right here?
04:30It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:35I'm supposed to meet this girl I've been texting.
04:36Poor thing's going through a rough breakup.
04:37Drama Queen 2020?
04:38Oh, man.
04:39What?
04:40This is epic.
04:41This is a mistake.
04:42Look, forgive me.
04:43I'm not.
04:44I'll be here any second.
04:45I'll be here any second.
04:46You don't have to wait.
04:47Thank you, though.
04:48I'm not.
04:49I'm actually...
04:50I happen to be meeting someone, too.
04:51Do you have to do it right here?
04:52It's public street, so I'm pretty sure that means we can share the sidewalk.
04:55Drama Queen 2020?
05:00Hot shot 239.
05:01Oh, man.
05:02What?
05:03This is epic.
05:04This is a mistake.
05:05Look, forget about everything.
05:06You can even keep the money.
05:07Oh, no, no, no.
05:08You can't get away that easy.
05:09Please.
05:10Don't tell Jake about this.
05:11Okay.
05:12I won't tell him.
05:13And I'll do you one better.
05:15I'll be your fake boyfriend.
05:18What?
05:20What?
05:21That's why you're in the app, right?
05:23I just wanted to hire someone for a date, you know, make Jake jealous.
05:27Great.
05:28I'm in.
05:29No.
05:30Look, we can't do that.
05:31He's your brother.
05:32Who also happens to be a massive jerk for what he did to you.
05:34I mean, I can't believe he cheated on you.
05:37No one's going to believe that you're actually dating me.
05:40Everyone knows you don't do relationships.
05:43Maybe I'm full of surprises.
05:45No.
05:46Forget it.
05:47Look, I'll find someone else.
05:48Look, you're not going to do better than going out with Jake's older, charming,
05:52and much hotter brother.
05:54Come on.
05:55You want to make him jealous and I want to teach him a lesson.
05:57It's a win-win.
05:58Hmm?
05:59Fine.
06:00But we follow my plan, no improvising.
06:05Yes, ma'am.
06:07So, when exactly are we going to do this?
06:10Tomorrow night.
06:11That's his birthday party.
06:13Exactly.
06:14That's his birthday party.
06:16Exactly.
06:17Well, you're definitely full of surprises.
06:22Will you please answer the question?
06:25Jeez, take it easy.
06:27I hired you to be my boyfriend, remember?
06:30You have to know how we got together in case anyone asks.
06:33Okay, okay, yeah.
06:34What was the question?
06:35Where did we go on our first date?
06:38We had a magical night at the movies.
06:44Do people even go to the movies anymore?
06:46Yes, they do.
06:47Isn't that kind of lame?
06:48It's not lame, it's believable.
06:51No, what we need is an epic love story to blow everyone's mind.
06:58What epic love story?
07:00We've been dating for like a week.
07:03Well, haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:10Haven't you ever heard of love at first sight?
07:13I've known you for two years, Damon.
07:16Fine, love at second sight.
07:18Look, I just don't want this to blow up in my face because of one misstep.
07:22I'm getting Jake back.
07:24He cheated on you.
07:25It was a mistake.
07:26Besides, I put too much in this relationship just to throw it away.
07:29Wow, how romantic.
07:31You just don't understand the value of being in a committed relationship.
07:35Real relationships never work.
07:37That's why I'm on the app.
07:39With fake relationships, I can enjoy it all without any disappointment.
07:46How romantic.
07:50Uh, well, I gotta go.
07:51I've got hockey practice before the party tonight.
07:54Wait, we haven't even gone over my favorite hobbies yet.
07:57How about you drop the plan and just see where the night takes you?
08:00Ever heard of the risks worth taking?
08:02Ever heard of don't mess with a good thing?
08:04Look, I'll follow your lead tonight, but you need to loosen up.
08:08I mean, have some fun.
08:10When was the last time you had fun, Claire?
08:12I have plenty of fun.
08:14Yeah?
08:15Yeah, that's fun.
08:16That's almost too fun.
08:18Can't wait to see that later tonight.
08:21Nope.
08:22No more of that.
08:23Didn't realize you're an expert in makeup now.
08:24What I mean is you don't need any makeup.
08:25You already look amazing with that.
08:26You can save the theatrics for now.
08:27We're not at the party yet.
08:28No.
08:29I'm serious.
08:30You look beautiful.
08:31You always do.
08:33I guess I'm just nervous.
08:34Don't worry.
08:35I'll be by your side the whole night.
08:36Promise.
08:37I'll be by your side the whole night, promise.
08:38You shouldn't have to work so hard for Jake anyway.
08:39I mean, you're already way out of his league.
08:40Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:41Okay, now I know you're joking.
08:42When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's log.
08:44And you're ridiculously smart.
08:46You started an opportunity to spend a lot of time in my party.
08:47And I don't need to spend a lot of time in my life.
08:48I'm down the bus like cool.
08:49No, I'm not.
08:50I'll be just a good sleep.
08:51No, I'm a bad sleep.
08:52No, I'm A A.
08:53so hard for Jake anyway and you're already way out of his league. Okay now I know you're joking.
08:59When you guys first started dating, I couldn't believe my brother's luck.
09:03And you're ridiculously smart, you started all the school plays, got every solo and chorus,
09:09you still had time for math leads.
09:13I can't believe you know all that. I always thought you just ignored me. You're my little
09:18brother's girlfriend. I had to keep my distance but I still paid attention.
09:23You know when you drop the whole too cool for school act, you're actually a pretty decent guy.
09:28Damon Corral. Hey careful, I have a reputation doable.
09:32No, I'm serious. I think you might actually make a great boyfriend.
09:37I mean when you finally decided to try with someone, of course.
09:41I'm serious. Claire? We're here.
10:05People are looking. Why are they looking?
10:08They're looking because you're with me. When you're with me, you actually get to have some fun from them.
10:38I'm gonna give this drinks. I'll be right back.
11:01Okay, wow, wow, wow. It looks like things are heating up.
11:04I know, right? It's almost like Operation Jealousy might actually work.
11:08Yeah, no, I was talking about you two.
11:10What? You and the town hottie?
11:13No, I mean we're just, I don't know, pretending or actually having fun for once.
11:19You know, you two kind of look cute together. Plus, I haven't seen you smile this much in a long time.
11:25Oh my god, there he is. Oh my god, there he is. See, he can't be over me. Look at his face.
11:32Oh my gosh, is that Chelsea? So much for girl code and I thought she was your friend.
11:39He said he'd only give his jacket to his one special girl.
11:55Time to AF this party up!
11:57Did someone say never have I ever?
12:01Let's play.
12:05I don't think that's a good idea.
12:06Come on, it'll be fun.
12:07So wait, why don't you go first?
12:20Okay, um, never have I ever fantasized about a teacher.
12:30Cute. Now let's see, never have I ever been pathetic enough to crash Max's birthday party.
12:37Never have I ever been some loser's side chick.
12:55Never have I ever been desperate enough to swoop in on someone's ex.
12:58Never have I ever cheated on someone completely out of my league.
13:01Never have I ever slept with basically every girl in this room.
13:05Uh oh.
13:10Face it, Claire.
13:12You'll never be more than just another number to him.
13:17Claire. Claire.
13:23Seriously, Claire? You're gonna show up to my party just to start drama?
13:26No, I didn't do anything. It was Chelsea.
13:28Don't blame Chelsea. You're just jealous.
13:31You know what? You two deserve each other.
13:39Hey dude, are you okay? Because that game was brutal. And where did Damon run off to?
13:45I don't know. He said he was going to be by my side the entire night and I thought we were...
13:50It doesn't even matter anymore.
13:53Is Claire Sanders actually breaking protocol?
13:57No matter how hard I plan or how carefully I try to put my life into this perfect little box,
14:02it all comes crashing out around me. And now the one guy I might actually have real feelings for
14:08is off god knows where probably setting up a new date with a girl in that stupid app.
14:14So yeah, I'm done planning. Plans can suck it.
14:18Hey, sorry I ran out like that. I left my phone in the car and I had to grab it to get on the app.
14:35Of course.
14:36What? Wait, wait, wait. Where are you going?
14:39Home. And don't worry, I'll still write a good review for you. I wouldn't want you to miss out on any more epic dates.
14:45Hey, talk to me. You just left me in there.
14:50I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.
14:52I don't care anymore, Damon. Look, you were right. Jake's an ass. So the plan, this, it's over.
15:02What if I don't want it to be over? What if I don't want it to be over?
15:07You could have your pick of any girl out there, so why don't you just get on the app and find someone else?
15:11Yeah, I got on the app because I wanted to delete it.
15:15What? I deactivated my account.
15:18Why would you do that? Look, I know I'm just another number.
15:21You're not just another number, okay? You never were.
15:27I don't want a fake date with you anymore, all right? I want a real one.
15:34I thought you said that real relationships never work.
15:42Well, maybe I realize that you're the risk worth taking.
15:54Come on. Slapshot 239. Pick me home.
16:11Are you sure I'm doing this right?
16:18Yeah, just make sure these two dots match. They'll make that side a little bit bigger.
16:23Okay, I'm trusting the process. I'm just glad we get to go stag together.
16:28You never got a date, right?
16:30No date. But Damon's really not coming?
16:34I bought him a ticket in case he changed his mind, but he won't budge.
16:37Well, that's his loss because you are about to be the best homecoming queen that we have ever seen.
16:43No way. I don't even know how I got nominated. And of course,
16:48Jake is on the ballot because he's the only reason why our soccer team wins.
16:51I feel like the only reason I'm on there is because people want to see what Chelsea will do if I win.
16:56Knowing her, she'll probably dump a bucket of pig's blood on my head.
16:59At least she's vegan, so you know it'll be synthetic.
17:03Maybe Jake, like, campaigned for you guys to reignite something.
17:07Because I heard rumblings that him and Chelsea aren't doing too hot right now.
17:11Ooh, trouble in cheater's paradise. Shocker.
17:16Where did you even hear that, anyway?
17:19I don't even remember. You know, gossip travels. That looks pretty good.
17:25But it could also be your newfound popularity from dating Damon.
17:28It hasn't exactly gone unnoticed that you get picked up on a motorcycle every single day.
17:34Yes, Damon. My knight in shining armor who can't even be bothered to take his girlfriend
17:40to her school dance. I mean, at least he's hot.
17:45So hot.
17:49It's so weird that Joey didn't ask you to be his date.
17:51Um, not that weird. We haven't talked in a while.
17:54Why? I thought you were starting to dig him.
17:56As soon as I figured out that our names couldn't have one of those cool celebrity abbreviations,
18:00it was over before it began.
18:02Jay-Zoey.
18:03Joey, absolutely not.
18:08Well, more Zoey for me.
18:09Nothing's going to keep us apart.
18:12Oh, it's Damon.
18:15Oh, it's Damon.
18:17Or should I say Claremont.
18:19Can I call you back to finish this?
18:20Yeah, you can, Claremont.
18:23But you better, because we need to finish this look.
18:24Okay, bye.
18:26Hey, beautiful. What's up with your eyes?
18:32It's not finished yet.
18:33You look like Amy Winehouse on a Tuesday morning.
18:36Zoe is giving me a tutorial for the dance tonight.
18:38Ah, yes. I almost forgot who I was speaking with.
18:43My sincerest apologies. Your royalness.
18:46I know how you can make it up to me.
18:48Nope.
18:49Come on. You're seriously going to let me do this alone?
18:52You're not going to be alone. I thought you were wrong with Zo.
18:55Oh, plus, if you listen very carefully, I bet you can hear Jake.
18:59Yep, there's Jake bouncing off the walls.
19:02Dude is pumped.
19:03Yeah, because dances are super fun and even more fun if you have a date like he does.
19:08Yeah, for now.
19:10What do you mean?
19:11Chelsea's been soft ghosting him.
19:13I don't think she's that excited about the dance.
19:15Why could that be? Because yours truly got nominated and she didn't?
19:21Oh yeah, I'm sure that's it.
19:22I bet that is it.
19:25She's going to be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:29She's going to be so pissed if I win queen for the night.
19:34And then, you know, for the rest of the school year because
19:37I would have to play in prom and then the homecoming queen normally becomes the prom queen.
19:40I seriously doubt she's thinking about this a quarter as much as you are.
19:44How could you not be?
19:48Because nobody cares about this king queen stuff as much as you and Jake. It's lame.
19:52Easy for you to say. You got nominated all four years and didn't even show up.
19:56I get that this seems like a big deal to you now, but I promise when you get out of high school
20:00you'll realize none of this stuff matters.
20:04Wow, and you think Chelsea has already reached this higher consciousness?
20:10No, I'm not talking about her.
20:11You know, come to think of it, if you both are so mature, maybe you should skip the dance together
20:16and get a cheese board and, you know, talk about all the super important adult stuff that actually matters.
20:24Oh look, someone my age is calling.
20:27I didn't mean- Claire.
20:28Bye.
20:36I need to fix this.
20:38Hey, Jake.
20:39Claire.
20:41Hey, um, thanks for picking up.
20:45Whoa, did Zoe do this to you?
20:47It's a work in progress.
20:49What's up?
20:50Cool.
20:52I just wanted to call you and touch base and just, you know, make sure that things don't get
21:00awkward tonight.
21:02You mean if we win?
21:04We're gonna win.
21:05Is Chelsea gonna be upset if, when, we win?
21:12If, um, if she looks up from her phone long enough to notice, maybe.
21:16Oh, texting someone else?
21:19It'd be a shame if she were in, like, a secret relationship.
21:21That would suck.
21:22Look, Claire, I know that I can never apologize enough for what I did, but I really am sorry.
21:31I didn't mean to hurt you, and if I could take it back, I would.
21:37It's fine.
21:39It's fine.
21:39Just, at least she'll be there.
21:42Damon won't even come.
21:43Yeah, I never really understood his thing with dances.
21:48I mean, like, we always had a great time.
21:50I know.
21:51It's a chance to get, like, dressed up and have fun and make grand romantic gestures.
21:56Grand romantic gestures.
21:56Jinx!
22:00Don't tell anyone that I just said that.
22:04Whoa, is that the dress that you've been saving since freshman year?
22:07Yeah.
22:10I can't believe I'll finally be able to wear it.
22:11And I can't believe this will be our first high school dance where we aren't going together.
22:20Yeah, me neither.
22:24I hope we win so we at least get one dance together.
22:29Well, how about either way, we make it happen.
22:33One dance before the night's over.
22:34Deal.
22:37As long as you promise not to step on my dress like you did junior year.
22:40That was sophomore year.
22:41It was both.
22:45Fine.
22:47As long as you promise not to bust out your grandma moves.
22:50What?
22:50You mean this one?
22:53Oh god, my eyes!
22:55Stop it!
22:55My eyes!
23:01What, like you can do better?
23:02Oh, come on.
23:04Anyone can do better than whatever that was.
23:06Let's see, by all means.
23:23Oh, uh, sorry. Chelsea's calling me. I should get it.
23:27I'll see you later?
23:30Yeah, yeah. See ya.
23:43I'll see you later.
23:49Hello?
23:51Hello?
23:52Just trying to show you what you're missing.
23:56Wow.
23:57You look incredible.
23:59Thanks.
24:00Are you, are you going somewhere?
24:03Yeah, there's a cheese board with my name on it I need to get to.
24:06Look, I'm sorry about before.
24:09I know it's just a stupid dance, but it's my last homecoming and
24:13I don't know, I really wanted you to be there.
24:15Yeah, I'm sorry too. I, I should have known how important it was to you.
24:19It's okay.
24:20How do you, how do you do this?
24:23You're getting pretty dressed up to eat a cheese board with your brother's girlfriend.
24:28If you think I'm going to let my brother have all the fun, you're crazy.
24:32Is this going to match your dress?
24:34You're coming?
24:36And you got me a corsage?
24:38Is it against the rule to bring your own crowns?
24:40I just want to make sure people know who the true king and queen are.
24:44My grandmothers are just cute.
24:45Wait, what?
24:47Nothing, nothing. I'm just talking to myself.
24:50Okay, well how about a little less chit-chat and a little more boogie?
24:53Come on, Claire, we got a homecoming to get to.
24:55And I, for one, am wearing my dancing shoes.
25:00Okay.
25:14This part always gets me.
25:20Yes!
25:21Yes, yes, it is so sad.
25:24Are you watching hockey right now?
25:27What? No.
25:29No, I mean, I'm not not watching hockey.
25:33Come on, babe.
25:34Tell me some slack.
25:35It's my birthday tomorrow and these are two of my favorite teams.
25:37This is a classic, Damon.
25:39Anybody who's anybody has seen this.
25:40Classics just code for old.
25:42I don't know why I bother trying to culture you.
25:46Anyway, what's the plans for tomorrow, birthday boy?
25:49Well, since I've been away for two weeks, I was thinking I could kiss your face for the first
25:55half of the day and then, you know, we got to party later.
25:59Crap, crap, crap.
26:03Um, Nico guitar flames is calling? Who's that?
26:07I completely forgot. I have a lesson now.
26:11Val.
26:12Is this why you've gotten so into the guitar lately?
26:18Hey, my favorite student and my favorite student's friend?
26:23We were just watching The Long Way and we lost track of time.
26:27Oh, yes. I see you took my recommendation. Such a classic.
26:34Boyfriend.
26:36What?
26:37I'm not her friend. I'm her boyfriend.
26:39Oh, lucky guy.
26:40Who was just leaving. Bye, Damon.
26:44I mean, I can stay. I'd love to see what you two have been working so hard on lately.
26:48No, I mean, no, no.
26:52She's right. Music is so personal, so intimate.
26:56Something to be shared between two.
26:57Or three.
26:58Oh, no. Almost never three.
27:04Young love. Such a beautiful thing.
27:07Love? Who said? I, I don't, we, I, I, we don't, um.
27:14Have you ever been in love?
27:17Of course. Yeah, I've been in love a bunch of times.
27:21I mean, not a, not a bunch of times. The normal amount of times.
27:26There's just a lot of pressure on when to say it, you know? There's just, there's a lot of stress.
27:32And then, yeah, you don't know who should say it first or when you should say it or if they'll ever say it back.
27:38And maybe I can help you find a way to say it.
27:47Should we begin? Should we begin?
27:49Should we begin?
27:51Damon?
27:59Hey, Zoe. What's up? How are you doing?
28:02I'm good.
28:06That's awesome. I'm, I'm also good.
28:09You know, I've been away at training camp for a couple weeks, coming home tomorrow.
28:13So, here's a funny little question for you. Claire's guitar teacher.
28:21Nico. Yeah.
28:25He's not even that good looking, like at all.
28:26Oh no, he's a solid 9.5 and then him playing guitar takes him to about a 12.
28:31I just think it's, it's, it's weird. You know, we, she's doubled her lessons while I've been away and
28:37we're watching movies they both like. Wouldn't you feel a little bit weird about your girlfriend
28:42hanging out with some guitar player multiple times a week?
28:45I thought you said he wasn't good looking.
28:47Zoe.
28:49Okay. I wouldn't feel great about it, but I'd be confident in my relationship.
28:56I would know that she really wants to be with me and not him.
29:00I just don't get it. I mean, she's being so secretive about it. I haven't even heard her play anything.
29:05Yeah, Damon, I don't know. Don't you have any guy friends to call about this?
29:10Who am I going to talk to, Zoe? Guys don't talk about stuff.
29:13If only you knew somebody that dated Claire and knew her really, really well.
29:18Jake?
29:18Yeah. Is that weird? I mean, it can't be weirder than you calling me about this.
29:23Yeah, okay. You're right. You're good friends, though. Claire's lucky to have you on her side.
29:29Don't stress. I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Plus, isn't it your birthday tomorrow?
29:34Look, it's on that.
29:36Yeah. Thanks, y'all. I'll see you tomorrow.
29:49Hey, birthday boy.
29:51Not until tomorrow. Where's Jake?
29:52Jake?
29:52He's in the shower. He just got back from practice and he's disgusting.
29:56I was totally going to wish you a happy birthday, but I didn't have your number.
30:01Yeah, let's keep it that way.
30:02So what's on the agenda? What time am I picking you up tonight?
30:06Kidding.
30:07Obviously.
30:08Does perfect Claire have a perfect little date planned?
30:11Other than running off the guitar teacher? Probably not.
30:14Oh, that's right. She started signing with Nico.
30:17Wait, you know Nico?
30:18Yeah, I set them up. He's amazing. So, so talented. So, so talented.
30:25What do you mean you set them up?
30:28Well, she was saying a few weeks ago at the house that she's been wanting to learn. So,
30:31I don't know. I suggested Nico.
30:34Oh, great. So this is your fault. Thanks a lot. Where was I?
30:37Sitting right next to her, not listening per usual.
30:42That's not, that's not true. I listen.
30:44Whatever. Anyway, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I suggested Nico. Every girl
30:51should have a few lessons with him. He teaches you so much. I wouldn't expect your smashed hockey
30:57brain to understand. What exactly wouldn't I understand? What exactly wouldn't I understand?
31:04Music, art, culture, languages. You're not, like, afraid she's going to ditch you for a guy
31:10she can actually have a conversation with. Are you? But we have conversations, Chelsea.
31:16Is Jake out of the shower yet? Oh yeah, about what, huh? Hockey? And then hockey? Oh, of course,
31:21right. There's always hockey. Seriously though, Damon, hockey is like your one true love and
31:27it's kind of boring. I love other things. Like what? Like Claire. And I don't want her running off with some
31:35guitar playing art culture looking snob, all right?
31:42Look, I'm not saying I'm an expert on all things Claire, but dating brothers has forced us to hang
31:48out with each other more than either of us would have liked and she's actually kind of interesting.
31:56So maybe you should at least pretend to care about some of the things she likes. Yeah,
31:59it's actually not terrible advice. Consider it my birthday gift to you. Gee, thanks a lot.
32:09So what are you still doing here? Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party tomorrow.
32:16Bye. So what are you still doing here? Go before she hires Nico to be your boyfriend at your party
32:21tomorrow. Bye. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Whatever. Thanks. Bye.
32:39Hey, I was just gonna call you. You're all dressed up. Damon, um, I've been wanting to tell you how I feel
32:48and, and I, I, this was going to be a birthday surprise, but I just, I didn't think I could wait.
32:57Okay. You're the cream in my coffee, you're the apple of my eye. You make me wanna laugh when I think I'm gonna cry.
33:19Like, you're the one. So there's one thing I must do. I have to say, I...
33:31I love you.
33:34I love you too.
33:37Moments dealer.
33:39I'm sorry, but I needed you to know it. I love you so much, Claire.
33:43And I'm sorry that I got weird earlier, but I talked to Zoe and...
33:46You talked to Zoe?
33:47Yeah, and, and she told me not to worry. And she told me that she always has your back, which I love.
33:54Well, and I talked to Chelsea.
33:56Ew, why didn't you talk to Chelsea?
33:58I don't know. She sucks. But she did say one thing that wasn't terrible.
34:03I want to make more of an effort to share your interests, Claire.
34:06I want to watch whatever you want to watch and talk about musicals. Even the old ones, I don't care.
34:12Just, no subtitles. Deal?
34:15Deal.
34:16Okay.
34:18Babe?
34:19Yeah?
34:20Do you think I could finish my song? I, I worked really hard on it.
34:24Yes, please.
34:30Blue-eyed baby as bright as the sky.
34:34Head in the clouds and then we found so high.
34:37I think you're the one, so there's one thing I must do.
34:44I have to say, I love you.
34:49Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
34:52Doo doo doo doo doo doo.
34:54Did you change your pillowcases?
34:59No. Claire, do not leave them there. That looks like trash.
35:04Do you have time to do a load of laundry?
35:05Not really, but yeah.
35:07Did you get the champagne?
35:09Yes.
35:10Chocolates, rose petals, massage oils, scented candles, all of that.
35:17Claire, I'm, I'm playing with you. I literally don't understand why you're freaking out right now.
35:21One, Damon's been in your room and two, you're not a virgin.
35:24I'm a virgin to sleeping with brothers.
35:27True.
35:28That's awkward. Is there a term for that?
35:31Sleeping with brothers.
35:37Please do not ever google that. Ever.
35:41You're not helping. So look, this is a big night. After tonight, that's it.
35:47What do you mean this is it?
35:48Like me and Damon, there's no going back.
35:51Going back to what? To Jake? Have you guys been talking or something?
35:57No. Not talking. Just, I don't know. We dated for so long. It feels like a betrayal, you know?
36:06And plus, I know Chelsea broke up with him, so I know he's not in a good place.
36:11About time. She dragged that on long enough.
36:13What's that supposed to be?
36:15Nothing, Claire. I don't think you sleeping with your boyfriend is a betrayal. You're good.
36:20You think they'll talk about it? Oh my god, what if they compare notes?
36:25Oh god, that's so awkward.
36:26I think the only one that gets to do the comparing is you. Plus, Damon is going to be
36:31ten times better than Jake. Think about all that experience.
36:34Why would you say that? So, I didn't even think of it like that.
36:40He's been with so many girls. What if he thinks I don't know what I'm doing?
36:44Good. Thanks a lot. Just what I needed.
36:47That's literally not what I meant at all.
36:52Ah, it's Damon. Wish me luck.
36:55Bye.
37:01Hey.
37:01You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:13You are definitely running late, but since you are shirtless and you probably smell good, I'll let it slide.
37:20Hey, uh, so I got some news.
37:23Bad news?
37:24No, just, uh, do you remember Natasha?
37:29Natasha, your super hot ex who ran away to like live off the land in Japan?
37:34Ride her bicycle across Thailand, but yeah, great. So you remember. She's back.
37:39Oh, so it's horrible news.
37:42I know we're supposed to hang tonight. Do you mind if I rain check?
37:44Do I mind if you bail to run off with a literal model who also happens to be your ex-girlfriend?
37:52Let me think about that.
37:54I know it's a little bit weird, but I promise she just wants to stop by,
37:57show me some pictures, and she's leaving again in like a week.
38:00Wait, wait, she's coming over to your place?
38:02Why can't you just insta-stalk her like any normal ex-boyfriend?
38:08Actually, uh, do not. She is the literal girl version of you.
38:13That's exactly why we didn't work. Trust me, it's strictly a friend name.
38:17I don't know. I know who you guys were when you were together.
38:19You couldn't keep your hands off each other.
38:21Yeah, now I can't keep my hands off you.
38:24I'm being serious.
38:25We both have exes, Claire. Come on.
38:28Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:30Don't forget I had to watch you date my brother for two years.
38:34Okay, I don't want to fight. I just, I really wanted to spend time with you tonight.
38:38I was hoping this could be our special-
38:42She's here. I gotta go.
38:43Love you.
38:57I know I said I wanted updates, but definitely did not mean in real time.
39:00Ha ha. Funny. You know what else is funny?
39:05Damon running off with his ex-girlfriend.
39:06Wow. Which one? Please don't say Natasha.
39:14Didn't she move to the Philippines?
39:15Thailand. And just for the year, sadly.
39:20Damon finally moving on must have triggered her spidey sense, and now she's returned to ruin my perfect night.
39:25Claire, she's an influencer, not a comic book villain.
39:29Same difference.
39:30Okay. Natasha's back, but that doesn't have to mean anything. Was Damon acting excited or weird?
39:36He showered.
39:37Okay. He's pretty. He does that. Anything else?
39:43I trust Damon. I don't trust her.
39:46Shit. She just posted a story. I can't look at it. She'll know.
39:51She has 80,000 followers. She's not going to see your name.
39:56I can't look, Zoe. You look.
40:00What is it? Are they kissing? Are they back together?
40:05Okay, maybe you should look at it so you can stop freaking out.
40:07Why would you have me look at that?
40:20This is it. You're going to get married, have two and a half kids, and have a yurt in Iceland.
40:25You know, I did hear that Reykjavik is really beautiful in springtime, actually.
40:31Again, with the not helping. This was supposed to be our biggest night of our lives. I'm allowed to be disappointed.
40:37But you're being insane. Damon loves you. He's not getting back together with Natasha.
40:42Did you see the photo? He is supposed to be drinking and snuggling with me, not her.
40:48They're not snuggling. And to be fair, you didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be
40:53mad at him for not being a mind reader. You didn't tell him about this perfect night, so you can't be
40:58mad at him for not being a mind reader. What's going on? Why are you taking my side on this?
41:03Nothing's wrong with me. I'm just saying that, like, whatever. I gotta go. Don't trip. I'm sure it'll be fine.
41:12Hi. Are you calling from Reykjavik? What?
41:28Nothing. Where are you? I thought you were hanging out with Natasha.
41:34Uh, yeah, I was, but, you know, there's only so many pictures of Thailand a person can take.
41:38What happened? Nothing. What? Nothing. Nothing, nothing? Or something, nothing?
41:44You were right. That was a bad idea. It was stupid for me to think we could just hang as friends.
41:49She hasn't changed at all. I mean, she invited me to go to Bali with her, and she tried to kiss me.
41:55Wait. You kissed? No, no, she tried. Look, I'm really sorry, Claire. I shouldn't have put myself in that position.
42:04Did you want to kiss her? No way. Are you kidding? You're the only person I want to kiss. Like, ever.
42:10Why don't you say that to my face? Why don't you let me up? I'm outside.
42:16You're here? Wait. Are you sure? I only have 700 followers. Please. You know she bought all those
42:22followers, right? What? 100%. But do I see some black silk under there? I'm much more interested in that.
42:31Come on. Let me up.
42:39Keep going now. Target zone for the tree. Punch it right for the front of the face. Palms are down.
42:43elbows are tight. There we go. Damon's texted me, I love you three times since this morning.
42:51Who need to get some mushy after sex? That's awesome. And he took me out for breakfast.
42:58Did I say that already? Like four times. Oh, well, now I guess I said it five.
43:03Anyway, could you hear that Natasha pays for her followers? How embarrassing and sad is that?
43:10Two uppercuts. Let's go. Uppercuts. Target zone. Where is it? Underneath the chin.
43:14Can you turn that down? To the body. Now.
43:17Wow. That's actually the first question you've asked me in months.
43:22Whoa. Are you mad at me? Not mad. I'm just tired.
43:27Well, we can pause it. I mean, no, Claire. I'm tired of this one-sided friendship dance that we've
43:33been doing since you started dating Damon. I don't know what you're talking about.
43:36You realize that we were supposed to go to homecoming together, right?
43:39And then Damon came. And the only time you call me is to ask or talk about Damon. And now
43:44Damon's calling me to talk about you and I am tired of it. We're supposed to be best friends,
43:50right? I am your best friend. No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:55I am your best friend. No, I'm your best friend and you've been asleep at the wheel.
43:59Well, I'm sorry I'm talking a little too much about my boyfriend, but I don't think it's fair to say
44:04that I've been a bad friend. I mean- Well, I think a good friend would notice that their best friend
44:09has been going through something huge the past few months.
44:12Oh my god. What? Zoe, are you okay?
44:15Yeah, I'm actually great. I've been seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious, but it's been
44:23exhausting not being able to just talk to you about it.
44:26What? You can talk to me about anything. This is so exciting. Who is it?
44:31It's not important. What do you mean it's not important?
44:35I want to know who stole my bestie's heart. Come on.
44:37She didn't steal anything. It just kind of happened. I didn't think we'd get along so well, but
44:46she's just perfect. Okay, so we've established it's a girl. I mean, that shrinks the pool a little,
44:54but you still haven't given me a good enough hint. Okay, maybe she's not perfect and it's just like
44:59the honeymoon phase talking. I don't know. I don't know what we are. It's like we're dating,
45:05but we haven't put a label on it yet. I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:14What does Chelsea have to do with this? Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:19I guess it's just like a little bit more complicated for Chelsea.
45:22What does Chelsea have to do with this? Because I'm the first girl she's ever been with.
45:29Hold on. You're dating Chelsea? Like ruined my life, Chelsea. Are you kidding me? We hate Chelsea!
45:39You know she broke up with Jake and he's like devastated, right? Okay, but we don't care about
45:44Jake. We care about me, right? So you're the other woman now. That's not fair. Especially because she
45:50wasn't even that into him. I'm sorry. What? She weaseled into our two-year relationship because
45:56she wasn't that into him? Claire, why are you so wrapped up in that? Aren't you in heaven with
46:02Damon? Because I haven't heard you shut up about him in the last three months. Well, I'm sorry I
46:07didn't shut up long enough to hear of your disastrous plan to date the she-devil herself.
46:11I would have talked you out of it. You don't even know her, Claire. Seems like I don't know
46:16either of you. And whose fault is that? Listen, I can tell you exactly what Damon had for breakfast.
46:23But as soon as I share an important detail of my love life for once, you get up on your high horse
46:28and you rain judgment on everyone below you. I'm over it.
46:42Well, that went well. Uh oh. How bad? If a dumpster fire filled with fuzzy puppies was a 10,
46:50then that was a 14.7. Gross. I'm sorry, babe. I know it couldn't happen easy,
46:57but at least Claire stopped talking long enough for you to tell her. That feels like a small win.
47:02I guess. I don't know. It's hard because I don't even know what I'm supposed to be telling her. Like,
47:07I didn't say that you were my girlfriend because you and Jake just broke up and I totally respect
47:12that. I think after last night, it's pretty safe to say you're my girlfriend, Zoe. Cool. Cool.
47:21Chelsea, I really like you and I haven't been this happy with someone in a long time. I just wish that
47:30Claire could get her head out of her butt for five seconds to be excited for me. Whatever. I don't need
47:38her. I have you. As much as I'd love to have Claire out of my life forever, you guys have way too much
47:45history to throw it away. But that dumpster fire I was talking about? Yeah, it's active. Babe,
47:51I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken your turns over the years
47:55being the needy one. Babe, I'm serious. You guys have been friends forever and I'm sure you've taken
48:01your turns over the years being the needy one. Yeah, well, her 90 days have expired. They're done.
48:08I'm over it. I've never known you to be the type to not say what's on your mind, but for some reason
48:13with Claire, you just bottled up and it's like, it's like you forgot how to stand up for yourself.
48:18Well, she dominates every single conversation with me and Damon did this and me and Damon did that.
48:24So you're telling me you haven't had a single chance to tell her about us or about how you
48:29were feeling or you may be holding back because you knew how she'd respond?
48:35Maybe. Claire's the one who needs to apologize, but she's not the only one in the wrong.
48:44Why do you have to be so perfect? Bad habit. All right, let me figure this out.
48:52Okay, call me back. Bye.
48:57Hey, what's going on? Chelsea? Did I open a curse box? Was I a serial killer in a past life?
49:03What horrible karma am I due that Chelsea exists to date everyone I love?
49:08She hasn't dated me. I will literally murder. She hasn't dated me. I will literally murder.
49:15Sounds like you'll be a serial killer in this life too.
49:17Why aren't you more bothered by this? Don't you feel bad for Jake?
49:21No, do you?
49:23No. Look, she has just weaseled her way through our entire friend group and I'm sick of it.
49:28I thought you guys were becoming buds. Didn't she set you up with Miko?
49:31Oh yeah, another way how she's ruined our lives. Why can't she just stay in her lane?
49:38What?
49:39Nothing. I just, I hope you weren't like this with Zoe.
49:44I think it's cool. Zoe's never really had a relationship stick, has she?
49:48So maybe the fact that she's bringing this up to you could be something serious.
49:52Why'd she wait so long to tell me then?
49:55Maybe because she knew you were going to act like you did.
49:58Okay, so you think I'm the jerk?
50:01No, no. I just, I think it's, maybe it's your turn to be the best friend.
50:06Yeah, the best friend to someone who's just screamed at me.
50:09Zoe's literally never screamed at anyone. She's the chillest person I know.
50:13I'm sorry to say it, babe. You know I'm on your side, but if she's this upset...
50:18I was wrong.
50:19You're still very cute though, and I bet you're even cuter when you apologize.
50:25Not that I've ever seen it, but I'm sure we'll get there one day.
50:29Don't hold your breath.
50:33Okay, I am going to give her the best, best friend apology she's ever had.
50:40You got this. I'm proud of you.
50:41And thanks for loving me, even though I'm a teeny tiny bit difficult.
50:49Of course. You got this.
50:56Pick up. Please pick up.
51:00Never have I ever been the biggest jerk in the history of the world.
51:04I was gonna say been so selfish to someone who's always been there for me, but yours works too.
51:11I messed up.
51:13You messed up big time.
51:14I know. I freaked. I'm just, I'm so tired of hearing Chelsea's name.
51:21But that doesn't matter, because this isn't about me.
51:27Well, you're gonna be hearing it a lot more.
51:30Seriously, Claire, I've never felt this way about anybody before.
51:35I think she might be my person.
51:38If you're happy, I'm happy. Truly.
51:44Look, I love you, so you're my best friend.
51:48And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:51You're my best friend.
51:53And I'm yours, and you are not allowed to replace me.
51:56You know there's an app for that.
51:58Best friend for hire?
52:00Yeah, but unfortunately, they don't seem to have anybody as good as you.
52:04I checked.
52:05I'm sorry, too.
52:10I should've told you way sooner.
52:14It's just I was afraid that you were gonna freak out, which you did.
52:17And I know Chelsea's probably the worst person for this to happen with, but if you guys just gave
52:22each other a chance, I'm sure you would get along.
52:27Wait, Chelsea doesn't like me?
52:32But if you like her, I guess she can't be all that bad.
52:39Now, spill the deets. You have dirt to catch me up on.
52:43Well, let's just say last night wasn't just your special night?
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