- 23/7/2025
Categoría
🗞
NoticiasTranscripción
00:00Meet the perfect American family.
00:02Jack, stop telling people your Aussie Osborne son
00:05to get into places because you're a fucking loser.
00:10There's the mom.
00:11I can't sit here and say, like, you know,
00:15I'm really the next Mother Teresa.
00:17Well, I tell you what, I'm Aussie Osborne's wife,
00:20now shut the fuck up and go to bed.
00:23Fuck no.
00:24The son.
00:25Studies show a teenager's brain doesn't really become
00:27functional until past 10.30, I think.
00:33The daughter.
00:34I don't really care what people think of my hair,
00:36if they like it or not, like, it's not their hair,
00:37so I don't really care.
00:38Oh, that rhymed.
00:39And, of course, the dad.
00:42Rock and roll!
00:51I'm not the kind of person you think I am.
00:57I'm not the Antichrist or the Iron Man.
01:03I love you all.
01:06I love you more than you love yourself.
01:08You're a fucking man.
01:09Crazy.
01:12Hey, but that's how it goes
01:15Millions of people
01:20Living as foes
01:23Maybe
01:26It's not too late
01:30To learn how to love
01:34And forget how to hate
01:37You can put it in the handshake
01:57You can put it in the handshake
01:58You can put it in the handshake
01:59Come on, despacio
02:00Ah, okay
02:01Is that a swimming pool or a pond?
02:20It's a fucking swimming pool
02:22And the guy that's building it
02:23I'm gonna drown the fucker in it
02:25This has got to be
02:28The 24th house that my kids have lived in
02:31We've got crosses going everywhere
02:35There's crucifixes
02:36And having them painted on the walls
02:38We've got crucifix door handles
02:41We'll never be able to sell it
02:43Wait, you don't want me to put my gun, Sharon
02:48Under the bed
02:50Wherever you want to put it
02:52I'll put it under the bed
02:53There we go
02:57Oh, it's broken
02:57Oh, well, of course it's broken
03:00Those fuckers packed it
03:02Dude, how does my sister's underwear
03:04Just get mixed up in mine?
03:07You know, that's just wrong
03:08Look at it
03:08There's a fucking big chunk out of it
03:11That motherfucker
03:12Where is he?
03:14The way I see it
03:15The less shelves
03:16The less shit I'll put on them
03:18Therefore, the less shit I'll have
03:21Okay, so is that good or bad?
03:23Good
03:23Everything we open is broken
03:25And they keep saying to me
03:27I'll glue it
03:28I'm gonna glue his fucking mouth
03:30Anything to do with, like, the History Channel
03:37And the War Channels
03:39All stuff like that
03:40Yes
03:41Weather in Afghanistan
03:432,000 degrees in poverty
03:45What the fuck am I doing?
03:50I'm stuck on the Weather Channel
03:52What the fuck is that?
03:58On this screen you can control basically the all-outs
04:08Satellite, and then they have satellite music, CD
04:11What the fuck are that fucking stupid deal?
04:15We didn't give the owners any written instructions
04:19We gave them the remote controls
04:20And then the owners figure out by themselves how to work it
04:23So that's how easy it is
04:25Weak signal, that's about all that, what's that all fucking day?
04:32Weak signal
04:33Jack!
04:35Can you get this fucking, this television to work?
04:40I'm a very simple man
04:41I'm a very simple man
04:42You've got to have, like, computer knowledge to turn the fucking TV on and off
04:46Jack!
04:47Fucking thing, why can't I go and get a normal fucking TV, man?
04:53I press this one button and the shower starts, I'm going, what is this? Where am I, man?
04:58It's fucking spice-age shit
05:00And the nightmare continues, nightmare in Beverly Hills
05:04Click satellite
05:05Yeah
05:06And
05:07Sure, come on
05:11With all these buttons, give you a fucking blowjob as well
05:14Let's come on this television
05:15Press blowjob
05:16Sick fuck
05:21The coyotes are going to eat you
05:25Mmm, yes, I think they're nice, good luck, that's what it is
05:30Lightening fast fighters to shoot down enemy planes
05:34Deadly bombers to flatten German and Japanese warplanes
05:39And tough, reliable cargo planes to airlift troops and supplies into battle
05:44I'm on the back
05:52John, why don't you probably fit on my gun?
05:55Jack, I've found a bayonet, Jack
05:57I found a bayonet, which is how it fit on my gun?
05:59Let me see
06:00I've got two of my...
06:02Hold on, shall we fit on a gun?
06:03That'll fit
06:05No, no, no, no, no, no.
06:35No, no, no, no, no.
07:05No, no, no, no, no.
07:07No, no, no.
07:09No, no, no, no.
07:10Yeah, 71 that one.
07:11Absolutely.
07:12Greatest show.
07:13Wow, wow, wow.
07:14Thanks a lot.
07:15No, see, the thing is, is that if you do want to go to The Tonight Show, you're going to
07:19have to get cracking.
07:22I won't go then.
07:23Simple as that.
07:24He's very nervous, Boz.
07:27He doesn't like doing any TV at all.
07:29He likes Jay a lot.
07:31He watches the show.
07:32Not that it's selling out, but it's just too mainstream for him.
07:36I mean, I make him do it.
07:37He doesn't want to do it.
07:39Dude looks like a lady.
07:41Hi.
07:42What am I talking about?
07:43Dude looks like a lady.
07:44Don't you want to see your dad?
07:47I'll see you tonight.
07:48That's The Tonight Show.
07:49Oh, really?
07:50Ah, I didn't know.
07:51You are blonde.
07:52Fuck off.
07:53Get a real job.
07:54Hey, gozio, Ozzy?
07:55Yeah.
07:56I'm Robert.
07:57Oh, big fan too, eh?
07:58That's probably the string.
07:59Tony.
08:01Don't you want to see your dad?
08:03That's the Tonight Show.
08:04I'll see you tonight, if that's the Tonight Show.
08:06Oh, really?
08:07Oh.
08:08I didn't know.
08:09Oh, you are blonde.
08:10Fuck off.
08:11Get a real job.
08:12How are you?
08:13How are you?
08:14Ozzy?
08:15Yeah, I'm Robert.
08:16i'm tired of them we're going to cut them because they're too long so we'll cut some of these ends off
08:23i gotta give you the same cv from my nephew
08:25i'll bring it back in a bit
08:27it was for my nephew rick but i'll take one too
08:31sorry you're not watching a movie that's about marijuana smoking turn it off
08:35i'm serious fuck off i'm serious you're not watching films about marijuana use
08:41shut up go leave my room now i don't need your help
08:45can you send to rick to rick rick r-i-c-k he wanted to rick be cool
08:50that's all right how old is he he's uh well actually he's like 28
08:54i'm thinking he's like 60. no he's a huge fan
08:59don't you want the eagle cd throw it why just throw it
09:05i don't have to answer every question for everything i do
09:09fuck off don't bugger off
09:11so are you nervous before you perform or what
09:16let me do it this way i don't need a laxative
09:19ah
09:21yeah i thought you were funny
09:23do you want anything on your lips
09:26forget about me now we're getting through
09:28don't go we're going into
09:29we don't go there do we huh
09:31sure
09:33put this one here
09:35hold on wait
09:37that'll be alright killer
09:40thank you
09:41my next guest legendary rocker tonight he's performing a song from his first solo album in six years down to earth
09:49please welcome ozzy osbourne
09:51he was really good i could tell that he was a little bit uncomfortable but he did good
10:08now you'll come back and talk to him next time what i said next time you'll come back and talk you'll be a talking guest instead of a singing guest oh right when's that next week
10:24no a little later
10:31why are we married
10:32why are we married
10:33i bet you do when you go out
10:35no i think so
10:36ah
10:37oh yes you do
10:39i bet you go
10:40ah please spare me seriously
10:43what's wrong with it
10:46that's very nice you're watching your 50s 50 am i argue to
10:56joe leno
10:57it makes you really feel
10:59yeah
11:00i didn't feel nervous at all
11:04i do now
11:09come your home right now
11:11what
11:13oh
11:14come here when you start these things and never tell me you're going
11:17because
11:18everyone else had what we said and you're the only one that didn't like
11:21darling i'm explaining to you
11:23you have not been standing in front of 30 billion decibels for 35 years
11:29just write me a note
11:31another interesting choice pack of your bags and leave a stand
11:46oh hi michael
11:48this guy got a uh how you doing this guy got a delivery for someone
11:56my name is michael and i was hired as a security to watch the ozzy osborne and mrs shan osborne house
12:03i walk around the perimeters i walk outside i check the front house the doors the windows the back house
12:10make sure it's just everything is okay around here
12:13green eggs and hammer stank
12:18this a blood clot
12:20it's a blood clot
12:21yeah feel it right here
12:22i have fun over here
12:25bye bye
12:30my next guest legendary rocker tonight he's performing a song from his first solo album in six years down to earth
12:36please welcome ozzy osborne
12:38please welcome ozzy osborne
12:51oh
12:52oh
12:59oh
13:01oh
13:04oh
13:05oh
13:06¡Suscríbete al canal!
13:36¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:06¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:08¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:12¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:14¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:16¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:18¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:20¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:22¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:24¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:26¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:28¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:30¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:32¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:34¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:36¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:38¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:40¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:42¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:44¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:46¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:48¡Suscríbete al canal!
14:50No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
15:20She's always got this attitude towards me.
15:24Jag, I'm not disagreeing with you.
15:28We've got to sit down and everybody's got to talk and get it sorted, Jag.
15:43Has anyone seen the cat?
15:44You haven't seen her?
15:46And I picked her up and I wore her in the kitchen.
15:49¡Push!
15:51¡Push!
15:56Jack es un muy bueno, muy muy mellow, muy muy muy.
16:01Hes sido muy difícil para él porque es como el de la escuela de la escuela.
16:06¡Push!
16:10He es muy amable con los niños en la escuela, pero no socializa con ellos.
16:14Jack no es uno de los niños que van a la malles y van a ver movies.
16:19No es su vida.
16:26¿Quién van a ir de la escuela?
16:27¿Cuándo van a ir de la escuela?
16:29¿Cuándo van a ir de la escuela?
16:31¿Cuándo van a ir de la escuela?
16:32¿Cuándo van a ir de la escuela?
16:33Es usualmente a 2.30 curfew.
16:35Ellos dicen, ¿qué ha estado?
16:37¿Qué ha estado haciendo?
16:38Y si creen que es una cosa.
16:40Pero si piensan que es una cosa.
16:42Es como si es posible que se la gente sue,
16:43y no me enganza mucho dinero la próxima.
16:48¡Gracias a estar sola!
16:49¡Suscríbete a Dios!
16:50¡Has sueces de nadie!
16:51¡Suscríbete a Dios!
16:52¡Suscríbete a Dios!
16:53¡ si creen que es el dolor de la escuela y la comida!
16:54¡Suscríbete a Dios que no quieres convertirme en la escuela!
16:55¡Y es como una persona la verdadera!
16:56¡Suscríbete a Dios que no te atrecen de la escuela!
16:57¡Suscríbete a Dios que no te descubre de más,
16:58y en serio!
16:59¡Se acercó a Dios!
17:00Ya no vienen con groweros
17:16¿Tienes que pagar la beiden por tierra?
17:19¿Has pag through $20 en 9
17:21What a falta de locura
17:27¿Has pasado000 bodos desde alligator o verde?
17:30No, no, no.
18:00He's been running around talking crazy shit about me and I found out and I think it's more that he feels guilty about doing it to try to be mean and so he gets in a bad mood.
18:30Jack can do anything he wants to say, anything he wants, talk all the shit, but if it comes back to him, he just freaks.
18:43Dad, I have. She won't do fuck all. She goes, oh, I will, I will, but she hasn't and she won't. Dad, I'm just, I'm really about to lose it with her.
18:54She ditched Sarah, who's supposed to be her best friend, and just left us. If it wasn't for me, she'd still be at a fucking mall with her dumb friends.
19:02See, it was me who said, hey, Kelly, when she used to hang out at the mall with her little stupid friends, I was like, Kelly, come with me to some clothes, we'll hang out.
19:09Jack, I really, I really understand, but you've got to understand where I'm coming from. I love you all. I love you more than life itself. You're not fucking mad.
19:18Do you?
19:23Life can be so sweet. Love can be so fine. I know I'm complete. When I hold your hand in mine.
19:35¡Don't share with me!
19:37¡Oh, this is such a fucking break!
19:42¿Qué es eso?
19:44¡As we stand there face to face!
19:49Kelly, if you hate me, I'm going to do it again.
19:51Kelly.
19:54¡Oh!
19:58¡Oh!
19:59¡That's on camera, Kelly!
20:01¡I'm showing that to Mo!
20:05Jack and Kelly are still fighting.
20:07My husband's still moaning
20:09because he still can't work the remote control.
20:11But at least we finally moved into the house.
20:14We're home.
20:15Oh, can you imagine the neighbors
20:17when they see that by the door?
20:19Some think that I'm a son of a gun
20:22But I'm out to have some fun
20:26Next time on The Osbournes
20:29It's like fucking Doug to do
20:30and it all's fucking out of there.
20:35Get off the fucking...
20:37Oh, my God.
20:38She demolished the fucking seats.
20:40Maybe we have too many dogs.
20:43Did anybody feed the dogs?
20:46No!
20:47Oh, my God.
20:49Pissed on my new cow.
20:50Hi, guys.
20:51Tomorrow this is...
20:52It's a therapist
20:54and she's going to help us with the dogs.
20:56No, darling.
20:56You don't need a therapist.
20:57You just need to get up at 7
20:59and open the fucking door.
21:03Hey, but that's how it goes
21:05Millions of people
21:10Living as foes
21:13Maybe
21:16It's not too late
21:20To learn how to love
21:24And forget how to hate
21:27Rock and roll!
Recomendada
42:01
|
Próximamente
44:37
43:04
21:31
1:03:06
1:00
0:19
1:29
0:20
2:00
0:42