Which Superhero Would You Want To Defend Earth? (The Bracket, Vol. 181)

Barstool Sports

KenJac | The Bracket

Transcript

00:00:00I love, love, love Glenny Balls. There are few people that have ever walked the face of the earth that I would trust less, even with super intelligence, to save the earth.

00:00:10So call me a limb. I'm taking Hill Dog with the Time Stone.

00:00:13Okay, welcome to The Bracket, episode 180. Today, it's kind of a secret topic for you guys. I think that some of you kind of have an idea of what's going on.

00:00:21We have Robbie Fox on. We have Danny Conrad joining in as well. And today's topic, we're going to do, what I'm going to say is kind of like a superhero generator.

00:00:31Because Superman, obviously, very in the news right now. So what I did was I asked a few of you different things to try and think of characters to use for this.

00:00:39For example, I asked Tommy, who are four people you would never trust with superpowers? I asked Che, who are four people you would trust with superpowers?

00:00:46And now what we're going to do is we're going to use a, we'll go do a little wheeling, a little yakking, I guess.

00:00:51And we will use a wheel to generate which power they have. And then we will seed them. And we will have them fight each other.

00:00:58Wow. What a twist.

00:00:59And it's going to be who's the best or the worst?

00:01:01Who do you think wins in a fight? Just straight up.

00:01:03Okay, with this power.

00:01:04Oh, geez.

00:01:05This studio is way better than ours.

00:01:07I'm enjoying this.

00:01:08This is great. I love this desk.

00:01:10Goddamn, boys.

00:01:11Better than Industrial Beach?

00:01:13Significantly.

00:01:13As you can see, they're having quite a great time in the dog walk studio today. Shout out to Danny Lance helping us out, cut cameras today.

00:01:18Appreciate it.

00:01:19Thank you, Lance.

00:01:19So Che got to choose the powers. This is coming from the guy who's number one superpower would be levitating.

00:01:24About six inches of levitating.

00:01:25That's right.

00:01:27When I heard them say the studio is way nicer than ours, I was like, there's no fucking way they're talking about ours, right?

00:01:33The fucking plant we got in the back and shit.

00:01:36Heavens no. There was a fly infestation in here last week.

00:01:39Yeah, big flies. The biggest flies you've ever, like spider size.

00:01:42Yes. Not like spider. I'm talking the spider that lives in Chicago. The flies were as big as him.

00:01:47Oh, Daniel.

00:01:48Damn.

00:01:49We have centipedes, right?

00:01:50We have a centipede infestation by the popcorn machine.

00:01:52Oh, you guys got a bite there?

00:01:54Yeah.

00:01:55That's actually horrifying.

00:01:56Never mind, so we have King Kong.

00:01:56Why you been munching pop?

00:01:57Always.

00:01:58But before we get to all that, let's talk about GameTime, our favorite sponsor.

00:02:03There is nothing like getting to a baseball game, especially last minute.

00:02:06Lucky for us, we always use GameTime, the official ticketing partner of Barstool Sports.

00:02:09GameTime makes getting tickets faster and easier.

00:02:11Prices on the app actually go down.

00:02:13Closer it is that you get to Showtime.

00:02:14And instead of using it for GameTime, just because I saw Cheney, or using it for MLB, that is,

00:02:19I looked at Cheney and his jersey.

00:02:21I went to go look at Bucs tickets.

00:02:23You can go get tickets right now to the Bucs opening matchup.

00:02:25$78. Great view.

00:02:27Up in the 300s, but you're dead center half feet, or right at that 50-yard line.

00:02:32It looks over everything.

00:02:33$78.

00:02:34And what is your stadium called again?

00:02:37Raymond James Stadium.

00:02:38Who the fuck is Raymond James?

00:02:40The Bucs?

00:02:40Insurance.

00:02:41Yeah.

00:02:41Raymond James Stadium.

00:02:43Ray J.

00:02:44Ray J.

00:02:44Ray J Stadium.

00:02:45You can go to Ray J Stadium.

00:02:47Yeah, you can go to Ray J Stadium.

00:02:50Just Ray J.

00:02:52Just Ray J.

00:02:53Sorry.

00:02:53Like the man that fucked Kim K.

00:02:55Yeah.

00:02:55Nice.

00:02:56Pretty good.

00:02:57You can look at those tickets for $78.

00:02:59And you can put those savings back in your pocket and spend them at the ballpark on a hot dog,

00:03:03new hat, or some good old-fashioned cracker jacks.

00:03:04I'm trying to make a Ray J joke.

00:03:06Got nothing.

00:03:07He had a foot above his balls.

00:03:12It was mid-air, so I held back.

00:03:13Yeah.

00:03:15So what are you waiting for?

00:03:16Go buy those tickets now with GameTime.

00:03:17Take the guesswork out of buying tickets with GameTime down the GameTime app.

00:03:20Create an account and use code bracket for $20 off your first purchase.

00:03:23Terms apply.

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00:03:29What time is it?

00:03:29GameTime.

00:03:31Okay.

00:03:31So, again, you're doing, and I'll share my screen so that you guys can see what I'm looking

00:03:36at.

00:03:40Oh, there we go.

00:03:41Okay.

00:03:41So here's our superhero wheel.

00:03:42Here's our list.

00:03:45I blacked them all out so that you guys couldn't see where they were ahead of time.

00:03:48So we have the Che picks.

00:03:49We have the Anus picks.

00:03:49We have the Tommy Smokes picks.

00:03:51We have the Barstool picks.

00:03:51Robbie, you did give me some, but that was just a little too late in the process to be

00:03:54able to include some.

00:03:54Who are Barstool picks?

00:03:56So these are some just employees.

00:03:57Oh, Barstool.

00:03:58Call workers of ours.

00:03:59Got it, got it.

00:03:59Yeah, yeah, general.

00:04:00How are you confused?

00:04:01I thought it was an actual Barstool.

00:04:03I thought it was like people at Barstool gave you these people.

00:04:06I'd like to give you a superpower of just common sense.

00:04:09Ooh.

00:04:09Oh.

00:04:11I couldn't even imagine Tommy Smokes with that power.

00:04:14My last Infinity Stone.

00:04:16I'd be fucking Bryce Dallas Howard.

00:04:18Yeah.

00:04:21For people listening, we were talking before the show.

00:04:24that I should hook up with Bryce Dallas Howard.

00:04:25No, we weren't.

00:04:26No, we weren't.

00:04:26I'm saying I could just see it.

00:04:27I wouldn't be shocked.

00:04:28I could see it, too.

00:04:30Vividly.

00:04:31Okay, so actually, I want to start from the top here with the Barstool employee list.

00:04:38So let's wipe out.

00:04:40Why did they just change?

00:04:42Oh, reset.

00:04:43There we go.

00:04:43So first up, we got Mincy.

00:04:44Okay.

00:04:45So which superpower is Mincy going to get?

00:04:47Uh-oh.

00:04:48This could be borderline disastrous immediately.

00:04:52He is going to.

00:04:55Oh, no.

00:04:55He's got the Green Lantern ring.

00:04:57He looks kind of like the Green Lantern in Superman.

00:05:00He's a woman.

00:05:00I guess, yeah.

00:05:01Something with the hair.

00:05:03And now he has the ability to.

00:05:04The Green Lantern can just kind of think of anything, and it materializes.

00:05:08Absolutely anything you could think of as big as you could think of it.

00:05:10Mincy gets everything for free anyways.

00:05:13Yeah.

00:05:13Right.

00:05:14Yeah.

00:05:14What would he want?

00:05:16Like, I can't think of him being able to be, like, imagining it.

00:05:18Tickets to, like, a widespread panic or something.

00:05:20A widespread panic.

00:05:21A widespread panic.

00:05:22Like, he just makes the tickets out of the Green Lantern ring.

00:05:25He gets everything he wants.

00:05:27Yeah.

00:05:28He really does.

00:05:29He wouldn't change anything.

00:05:30Like, Mardi Gras beads around his neck or something.

00:05:33Yeah.

00:05:33That's what they like.

00:05:34Yeah.

00:05:35So just anyone who has that ring becomes the Green Lantern?

00:05:37Yes.

00:05:38Yeah.

00:05:39Oh, Mincy would hopefully be using his powers for good, but you could see him just being clumsy

00:05:43and, like, knocking out a skyscraper by accident while New Orleans would be leveled.

00:05:47So that's all things considered.

00:05:48Green Lantern ring, not that bad.

00:05:49Yeah.

00:05:50Safe.

00:05:50So next up we have Rico.

00:05:54Oh, God.

00:05:54Another one.

00:05:55We could have a potential supervillain on our hands here.

00:05:57We just heard him screaming.

00:05:57Oh, my God.

00:05:58Seems like he does have gamma radiation poisoning at times.

00:06:04I didn't even put a Hulk thing in here.

00:06:05I should have.

00:06:06Oh, boy.

00:06:07Rico can control ice.

00:06:11The immigrants are living in that house.

00:06:12I was about to say, Jack Mack should have had this power.

00:06:18So Rico can, actually, he needs that.

00:06:20He's kind of a hothead.

00:06:21Iceman Rico?

00:06:22Yeah.

00:06:23It would kind of cool him down.

00:06:23Like, he can just form ice?

00:06:25Yeah, like, who's the ice guy in X-Men?

00:06:26Like Iceman from X-Men.

00:06:27Yeah.

00:06:28That's an omega-level mutant.

00:06:29Yeah.

00:06:30Omega-level mutant.

00:06:32So Rico gets to control ice.

00:06:34Which also, that's an allegory for him being gay.

00:06:36Not necessarily Rico, but Iceman, Bobby.

00:06:38He, like, comes out to his parents as, like, a mutant.

00:06:41Oh, that scene.

00:06:42I was about to say, he definitely hooks up with Rogue in that.

00:06:44Does he not?

00:06:45Am I thinking of Iceman?

00:06:46Or am I thinking of someone?

00:06:48Maybe I'm thinking of someone else.

00:06:49Yeah.

00:06:50No, I think you're...

00:06:51There's a couple gay.

00:06:52Nadeau.

00:06:53Now we have Nadeau.

00:06:54Now, here, I'm going to say this right now.

00:06:55If you guys say Wheel is Just and all that, if it was real...

00:06:59Control fire?

00:07:00No, he would get flight.

00:07:01He would have the power of flight.

00:07:02Oh, yeah.

00:07:03Oh, yeah.

00:07:04So I'm just saying, throwing it out there.

00:07:06If the gods are listening, there is a chance.

00:07:09Oh, I just passed it by...

00:07:11Oh, no.

00:07:12The broads.

00:07:13The broads.

00:07:13Invisibility.

00:07:14Oh, no.

00:07:14That's dangerous.

00:07:16That's a felony.

00:07:18Dude, if it happened...

00:07:20Dude, if I just walk into my house and my broad is somehow pushed up against the wall,

00:07:24no name.

00:07:24This is the plot to The Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.

00:07:32Okay, next up, lastly, White Sox Dave.

00:07:34I don't think he'd want to be invisible.

00:07:36He likes to be seen.

00:07:37Yeah.

00:07:37He does.

00:07:37That's a great point.

00:07:38I don't think he'd use that power either.

00:07:40So White Sox Dave, another potential felony in the waiting here.

00:07:46Let's see.

00:07:46What does he get?

00:07:50Oh, no.

00:07:51Oh, jeez.

00:07:51He's just going to be knocking shit over.

00:07:53Oh, God.

00:07:54Telepathy.

00:07:54So he can read minds.

00:07:57White Sox Dave.

00:07:57That would actually be detrimental to his health, I think.

00:08:00I say everything I think about Dave out loud.

00:08:03Again, people...

00:08:05Dave would hate this power.

00:08:08The curse.

00:08:09He would be miserable.

00:08:11Oh, my God.

00:08:11He'd be so pissed off.

00:08:12So telepathy for White Sox Dave.

00:08:14He would read their mind and still predict what they're going to do wrong.

00:08:17He would still not trust them.

00:08:20So now we have Tommy's picks.

00:08:22Which, I asked Tommy, for four people that you would never trust with superpowers.

00:08:26Yes.

00:08:27Starting off with Hillary Clinton.

00:08:29So let's see.

00:08:30What does...

00:08:31That was your first pick, Tommy?

00:08:32Yeah.

00:08:32Just came to mind.

00:08:33This is the most evil.

00:08:34Let's see.

00:08:35What does she get?

00:08:36Tommy, by the way, not concerned with the Epstein logs.

00:08:39No.

00:08:39Said I'm looking into it.

00:08:40Oh, time travel, Hillary.

00:08:43Time travel.

00:08:44All right.

00:08:45She's making sure that bullet goes through Trump.

00:08:47That's for sure.

00:08:47That's for absolute certain.

00:08:50Time travel for Hill Dog.

00:08:52The first person to come to mind for me when Ken Jackett, my unused pick of who I wouldn't

00:08:58want to have superpowers, was Nickelodeon's Dan Schneider.

00:09:01It was.

00:09:01Oh, yeah.

00:09:02That would have been great.

00:09:03So Hillary Clinton would travel back immediately and just pop that thang out of Monica's mouth,

00:09:08right?

00:09:08Oh, yeah.

00:09:08Oh, she would just pop the thang out.

00:09:12She'd pop the thang out.

00:09:14She'd go back and campaign in Wisconsin, probably.

00:09:16Mm-hmm.

00:09:17Not see a Pokemon go to the polls.

00:09:19Next up, we have Lin-Manuel Miranda.

00:09:21I fucking hate Lin-Manuel Miranda.

00:09:23You know what's crazy is I love Lin-Manuel Miranda, and he almost made my list.

00:09:27I don't trust him as superpowers.

00:09:28I think it's really just...

00:09:30Robbie, based on Curb, it's just based on his character, and Curb was so unlikable.

00:09:36Mm-hmm.

00:09:37Were you saying KB?

00:09:37I remember before I even worked at Barstow, I was listening, and did you vote him as one

00:09:44of your top three men?

00:09:47I would take your man card.

00:09:49It's not too far from what you're describing.

00:09:53So I said if you had to do the go-to-dinner-with-three-people trope, but you had to consider you can't

00:10:01just pick three super fascinating people.

00:10:02You have to pick three people you think would get along.

00:10:05So he was part of mine.

00:10:07And I said, like, I love Kevin Smith.

00:10:09Who do I think he would get along with?

00:10:10Lin-Manuel Miranda, Dave Grohl.

00:10:12So I just picked, like, three people that I thought would get along.

00:10:14And Nate, for the last nine years, has held that over my head.

00:10:19That doesn't sound like Nate.

00:10:21Rightfully so, Eric.

00:10:23So Lin-Manuel Miranda, what powers does he get?

00:10:26I should have had, like, super voice or something.

00:10:28That would have been terrible.

00:10:34Telekinesis.

00:10:34So he could communicate with us?

00:10:36He can move shit with his mind.

00:10:37Oh, right, right, right.

00:10:38Like Professor X, yeah.

00:10:40Oh, I actually kind of hate that.

00:10:41Wait, what's the difference between that and telepathy?

00:10:42Telepathy is when you read minds.

00:10:44Yeah.

00:10:44And this is you can move shit with your mind.

00:10:46Yeah.

00:10:46It's just the force.

00:10:48Would that help in a fight?

00:10:50Yeah, you can, like, throw shit with your brain.

00:10:51Like, think about it like that.

00:10:52Like, you could pick up a boulder and throw with just your mind.

00:10:55Reading people's minds?

00:10:56Reading people's minds is...

00:10:58You could predict their next move.

00:10:59Exactly.

00:11:01Cool.

00:11:02Yeah, but, I mean, if you have a huge fucking gun in White Sox, Dave's like, I think this

00:11:07guy's going to shit me.

00:11:09This guy doesn't really do much.

00:11:11I don't know how much it'll help him, but it would help a superhero, you know?

00:11:15Next up, we have Kanye West.

00:11:16Would Dave's life get better or worse if you could read minds?

00:11:18Okay.

00:11:19It works.

00:11:19It's crazy.

00:11:19Way worse.

00:11:20Yeah, he's nuts.

00:11:20I think a lot of people withhold their, like, compliments to him.

00:11:24Yeah.

00:11:25Sure.

00:11:26But he would overreact to what the bad things they're thinking.

00:11:28He wouldn't believe the compliments that you're thinking.

00:11:31Yes.

00:11:32So, next up, we have Kanye West.

00:11:35Oh.

00:11:36Another one of Tommy's ones.

00:11:38He's manic.

00:11:38Pray for the...

00:11:40Oh, my God.

00:11:40If he got weather control, I thought he was going to take it back from the enemy.

00:11:46I think this is actually relatively harmless from Kanye.

00:11:48I don't know what he would do with this.

00:11:49Teleportation, yeah.

00:11:49Oh, a teleportation?

00:11:51Yeah.

00:11:52What's Kanye doing with that?

00:11:53Yeah, I guess...

00:11:56Yeah.

00:11:56I was trying to think of, like, what damage he could do.

00:11:59He can already get around pretty quick.

00:12:00Yeah.

00:12:01Yeah.

00:12:01He can already go anywhere.

00:12:03And then, lastly, from Tommy...

00:12:06Glennie Balls.

00:12:08One last person he does not trust.

00:12:10No, I don't trust him without superpowers.

00:12:12Let's see.

00:12:13Tommy, I'm surprised Trent didn't make the list.

00:12:15Yeah.

00:12:15The idea of Trent having a superpower is not...

00:12:17Oh, my God!

00:12:18No!

00:12:19We cannot give Glennie any sort of intelligence.

00:12:24He has it all now.

00:12:26Shit.

00:12:27I see a winner.

00:12:31Like a Lex Luthor.

00:12:32Smells like a champion.

00:12:34Like a Lex Luthor.

00:12:35Damn, this guy really paired his burger and drink well.

00:12:38Holy shit, that'd be insane.

00:12:44Okay, so now we have the anus picks to run through.

00:12:48Starting off...

00:12:48What was their, like, caveat?

00:12:50Worse?

00:12:50I think I gave you guys...

00:12:51I don't even think I gave you guys the superpower knowledge.

00:12:54I just said, give me some characters from your guys' world, more or less.

00:12:57Yeah, people we've talked about.

00:12:59Okay.

00:12:59Starting off with Jason Mraz.

00:13:01Yeah, okay.

00:13:01Yeah.

00:13:02That's right.

00:13:02Oh, me, oh, ho.

00:13:04Jason Mraz and...

00:13:05It's horrible.

00:13:06That was not horrible.

00:13:08No, no.

00:13:08Have you ever heard this song?

00:13:09Have you done on me and you bet I felt it?

00:13:11Oh, yeah.

00:13:12Strong ass Mraz.

00:13:13Strong Mraz.

00:13:15Yeah.

00:13:15He's just shattering ukuleles.

00:13:18I hate that.

00:13:19I hate the idea of a jacked up Mraz.

00:13:21Jacked Mraz.

00:13:22Oh, my God.

00:13:22Super...

00:13:23Hat could barely fit on his head.

00:13:25Oh, my God.

00:13:27It's not I'm yours anymore.

00:13:28It's your mind.

00:13:32Next up, we have Gabe Lackman.

00:13:34If you want to get...

00:13:35Yeah, he was the...

00:13:36Homosexual African-American in our high school.

00:13:39Oh, okay.

00:13:40All right.

00:13:41Let's see what he's got.

00:13:42Was he overall a good guy, bad guy?

00:13:44Great guy.

00:13:45All right.

00:13:46Robbie, you put his name together in your head?

00:13:49Oh, I gotcha.

00:13:50I gotcha.

00:13:51I gotcha.

00:13:52Took me a second.

00:13:53That's embarrassing.

00:13:54I don't have super intelligence.

00:13:55Glenn, you would have gotten that.

00:13:56It's all Glenn.

00:13:59Oh, yeah.

00:13:59Gay black man.

00:14:00No, he'd be a superhero.

00:14:02But if he's a good guy, he might just...

00:14:04Gay people love son.

00:14:05They do.

00:14:05There'll be San Diego everywhere.

00:14:08Random snow days.

00:14:10Next up, we have...

00:14:12Bess Truman, who if you want to give some background on.

00:14:17I just...

00:14:17Yeah, that's the wife of Harry S. Truman.

00:14:20She won the award Best Pussy for just having a vagina.

00:14:31No.

00:14:31Did she win hairiest?

00:14:33She won hairiest and...

00:14:35She had the Best Pussy, but it got the hairiest.

00:14:37Now she's hairiest.

00:14:39Now Bess Truman also has electric powers.

00:14:42Yeah.

00:14:43Okay, like the Emperor?

00:14:44Like Electro and Spider-Man?

00:14:45Like, yeah, manipulating electric powers.

00:14:49Might throw her off if she's not used to the electricity.

00:14:52And lastly, Simon Birch.

00:14:53Mm-hmm.

00:14:54Of course he...

00:14:55You know who Simon Birch is?

00:14:56Who's Simon Birch?

00:14:56He is a...

00:14:57What exact...

00:14:58What disease did he have?

00:15:00Almost all of them.

00:15:03It's tough to say what he didn't have.

00:15:05He was a little dwarf that killed his best friend's hot mom with a baseball home run.

00:15:12Foul Ball.

00:15:13Foul Ball?

00:15:14That wasn't...

00:15:14Yeah, he did not hit Omer.

00:15:17There he is.

00:15:17Was it Ashley Judd?

00:15:19It might have been.

00:15:20I think it was.

00:15:21It was a Judd.

00:15:21From a movie?

00:15:22What's going on right now?

00:15:23Yeah, there's a movie called Simon Birch.

00:15:26It's about a tiny little dwarven schoolboy.

00:15:30And it's just like the emotional ride in his life.

00:15:34And then he...

00:15:35He has passed.

00:15:37All right.

00:15:38The whole thing is...

00:15:39Saving a bus full of kids?

00:15:41Yeah.

00:15:41The whole thing in the movie is like he's like a little kid and they won't give him a shot.

00:15:45And he gets on the baseball team and he gets in that bat.

00:15:47And he kills him?

00:15:48And he whacks this baseball.

00:15:49Straight foul.

00:15:50Kills a woman.

00:15:51It kills his best friend's mom.

00:15:53Oh, sorry.

00:15:53His best friend's mom.

00:15:54Never give him a shot.

00:15:55Is this theatrically released?

00:15:56Or is this like a...

00:15:57Oh, yeah.

00:15:57And he cries on a bridge and screams up that he's sorry.

00:16:00It's one of the best movie scenes of all.

00:16:02I'm sorry.

00:16:02He was still at the plate after.

00:16:04They still had a pitch.

00:16:04I've definitely seen him before.

00:16:06I'll be honest.

00:16:07If you showed me that picture, I've seen that.

00:16:09Because of anus, I assume.

00:16:11It was probably a lot of required reading in high school.

00:16:14It was A Prayer for Owen Meany is the book.

00:16:16Gotcha.

00:16:17If you guys ever had to read that.

00:16:19Okay.

00:16:19So what does...

00:16:19Size shifting for Simon Birch.

00:16:22A tall birch.

00:16:22That'd be good.

00:16:23Oh.

00:16:24A big birch.

00:16:24A big birch would be bad.

00:16:27He would kill so many people.

00:16:28An airborne...

00:16:31I believe he can fly.

00:16:32I mean, yeah, that's just...

00:16:33That's just funny.

00:16:35An airborne birch is...

00:16:37You just kind of swat him away.

00:16:41It can't really do anything.

00:16:42He's still not very strong.

00:16:44Still punch him.

00:16:45I'd still beat the fuck out of him.

00:16:47Probably easier.

00:16:48I wouldn't have to bend.

00:16:49He couldn't even, like, catch the ball either because it's not speed.

00:16:51No.

00:16:52He's just flying.

00:16:53Punching an airborne birch out of midair like a fly is just like...

00:16:56Oh, my God.

00:16:57Okay, so now we have Che's picks.

00:16:59And Che, I asked, who are people that you would explicitly trust with superpowers?

00:17:03Okay.

00:17:04John Gruden.

00:17:05Giannis was, of course, number one.

00:17:07Giannis Antetokounmpo?

00:17:08Good answer.

00:17:09He's pure.

00:17:10Yeah.

00:17:11He's a nice enough guy.

00:17:12It's just one of the...

00:17:12I don't...

00:17:13It's just a wild first name to come into your head for that.

00:17:18And he's controlling minds.

00:17:20All right.

00:17:20Once you give someone...

00:17:21Even someone trustworthy, once they could control minds, they start to get untrustworthy.

00:17:25Yeah.

00:17:25That is kind of, like, the general plot of most of these movies.

00:17:27So, mind control for Giannis.

00:17:31There you go, Che.

00:17:31This is where we start to go off the rails a little bit for Che, by the way.

00:17:34This is...

00:17:35This made me realize that I don't know any celebrities because you're like, name, like,

00:17:38four people you trust.

00:17:40I was like, all right, well, I don't want to do, like, personal life people.

00:17:42And he said, no barstool people.

00:17:44So, I was like, all right.

00:17:44Four bucks.

00:17:45Who do I know?

00:17:47And that's how we ended up with Adam Schefter.

00:17:50I didn't know this was going to be a battle to the death with all these people.

00:17:56So, Adam Schefter.

00:17:59It gets better, I promise.

00:18:00Good guy.

00:18:01Doesn't lie.

00:18:02He's going to be able to...

00:18:03Super speed.

00:18:04Well, he's got a flash.

00:18:05He's kind of got that already, to be honest.

00:18:07Yeah.

00:18:08Reporting-wise.

00:18:08He's very quick to the reports.

00:18:10Super speed for Schefter.

00:18:11Also, he could comment on another superhero battle.

00:18:15He could say, assault.

00:18:16His famous line.

00:18:17Yeah, he could just sprint around the globe.

00:18:19And that's how we ended up with Tony Dungy.

00:18:21Sorry, I forgot to misspell that.

00:18:22He almost looks more like a super villain, to be honest.

00:18:25He is famously...

00:18:26No, he's so nice.

00:18:28Straight down the middle.

00:18:29Family guy.

00:18:30God guy.

00:18:31I don't think straight down the middle.

00:18:33Maybe a little lean towards One Direction.

00:18:35Oh, my God.

00:18:36Oh, no.

00:18:36He's turning the gas up.

00:18:38The gas are toast.

00:18:39So, control fire.

00:18:41And Che is like, give him powers.

00:18:43Let's see what this guy could do.

00:18:45Is his powers Tony Dungy?

00:18:47Yeah, keep it.

00:18:48With a different spelling.

00:18:50Oh, shit.

00:18:52What is it?

00:18:52You gave Tony Dungy.

00:18:53Oh, I gave Tony Dungy powers.

00:18:56And then the last one in this draft, of course.

00:18:58Who is one person who would really, truly want to have superpowers in this world to help us all?

00:19:04Che knows what's coming.

00:19:05Brian Windhorst.

00:19:07Brian Windhorst.

00:19:09NBA reporter.

00:19:10You really don't know celebrities, huh?

00:19:12I don't.

00:19:13Well, I was thinking, if I said, like, you know, Brad Pitt or George Clooney, like, they're acting.

00:19:18They could be liars.

00:19:19These people, I feel like, are trustworthy.

00:19:21All right.

00:19:22Yeah.

00:19:23So, what does Brian Windhorst, notable big boy have?

00:19:25Tell me he can make another Brian Windhorst.

00:19:27Oh, my God.

00:19:29Come on.

00:19:31Come on.

00:19:32Oh, damn.

00:19:33Heat vision for him.

00:19:34All right.

00:19:34This is this guy, right?

00:19:36Yes.

00:19:36That's right.

00:19:37Yeah.

00:19:38Heat vision.

00:19:39Stephen, didn't you make that meme?

00:19:41I recorded the video of it and put it out.

00:19:43Wow.

00:19:43First one to do that, right?

00:19:45Yes.

00:19:45That's a wild fact.

00:19:47The claim to fame.

00:19:48So, here's our list of superpowers.

00:19:50Mincy with the Green Lantern Ring.

00:19:52Rico can control ice.

00:19:53Nidoo has invisibility.

00:19:55White Sox Dave has telepathy.

00:19:56Hillary Clinton has time travel.

00:19:58And you can see the rest of this.

00:19:59I feel like we, each one's their own little bracket, right?

00:20:02Yes.

00:20:02It's his own little mini, like, best out of four group, I guess.

00:20:06Okay.

00:20:07Any one of these stand out to you right now, Tommy?

00:20:09I mean, Glenny Balls with super intelligence is frightening.

00:20:14Yeah.

00:20:15The Green Lantern Ring, I feel like, might be the most powerful thing on this list.

00:20:20Yeah.

00:20:20But it's with the least powerful man.

00:20:24Mind control.

00:20:25Giannis with mind control is up there.

00:20:27But, like, he would get people to do what he wants.

00:20:30Right.

00:20:30He would just be even better at basketball.

00:20:32Because he'd be controlling the other.

00:20:35Yeah, but give me the ball.

00:20:36Yeah.

00:20:37So, are we debating who would win in a fight?

00:20:39Or, like, who's the most powerful?

00:20:42My initial thought was that it is a battle to the, it's a battle between the two of them.

00:20:46And who comes out on top.

00:20:47So, we would have Mincy with the Green Lantern Ring versus White Sox Dave with telepathy?

00:20:51Yes.

00:20:51That is, like, my general thought process.

00:20:53Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:53What about, would that just be like a, what about who's the most, who would be the most?

00:20:58The best hero?

00:20:59The most powerful, successful, I don't, I don't know.

00:21:04Or we could just do a battle.

00:21:05We could do, we could do it like, which one of these would be the better, like, if you

00:21:08could have one superhero on Earth, which one of these would be the better one?

00:21:10You know what I mean?

00:21:11Yeah, I like that.

00:21:11Like, who would we want?

00:21:12Who would be able to save Earth?

00:21:14Yeah.

00:21:14Who would we want?

00:21:15Yeah.

00:21:15We have a bad villain and we need one of these people to save us.

00:21:19Yeah.

00:21:19You guys want to do that?

00:21:20Yeah.

00:21:21That works with me.

00:21:21Yeah.

00:21:21Rising from the ashes is Lin-Manuel.

00:21:28Wait, sorry, I'm just, like, backing up on the rest of these.

00:21:30So, yeah, who would you want to save Earth, I guess?

00:21:33Correct.

00:21:33Yeah.

00:21:35Weather and best choice.

00:21:37Like, not all these people would save Earth.

00:21:40Right.

00:21:40You got to factor with it.

00:21:41They wouldn't want to save Earth, is what I'm saying.

00:21:44Okay.

00:21:45Jason Mraz.

00:21:46Mraz would have some kind of, like, Earth.

00:21:49As I've proven time and time again, I'm yours.

00:21:52Yeah.

00:21:52Okay, so let's run through this.

00:21:54Starting out with you, Che, who do you think would be the better hero for Earth?

00:21:57Mincy with the Green Lantern Ring versus White Sox Dave with Telepathy.

00:22:04I mean, I like Mincy, but I can't picture him saving anything with, even with the Green

00:22:10Lantern Ring at his disposal.

00:22:12White Sox Dave with Telepathy, so he can read minds.

00:22:16Is that right?

00:22:17Yes, he can read minds.

00:22:19Is this like Jean Grey, like Professor X?

00:22:22Yes, in that they can read minds, but they can't do the telekinesis part of it.

00:22:25He can't, like, throw shit and move shit.

00:22:27He just knows what you're thinking.

00:22:28Yeah.

00:22:28Right.

00:22:30Yeah, I mean, I could see White Sox Dave as a budget rate action hero, so give me White

00:22:37Sox Dave over Mincy in this.

00:22:38Didn't see that coming.

00:22:39One vote for White Sox Dave reading minds.

00:22:41Danny.

00:22:42Mincy's losing that ring the first day.

00:22:44And it's going to get in the wrong person's hands.

00:22:47Dave.

00:22:48He's going to give it to Alex Stein.

00:22:49Yeah.

00:22:51He's letting him borrow it.

00:22:55White Sox Dave, even if he can read people's minds, I don't know what he would do with that

00:23:00information in a successful way, if that makes sense.

00:23:04I don't know how he'll even use that to his advantage.

00:23:06I'm going White Sox Dave as well, just because I don't think Mincy will be able to control

00:23:11his powers, even if he does have them.

00:23:13Two votes for White Sox Dave.

00:23:15Nick.

00:23:16No thanks.

00:23:16So the Green Lantern ring, it's whatever he's thinking about will, like, materialize?

00:23:20Yes.

00:23:21Yeah.

00:23:21So it's just going to be, he's going to overwhelm Dave with a bunch of interns.

00:23:26A sea of interns moving like World War Z zombies to overwhelm Dave.

00:23:31I'm taking Mincy.

00:23:32One vote for Mincy.

00:23:33I see.

00:23:33I was thinking he would just make another Mincy with the ring.

00:23:36That's what he does think about that almost exclusively.

00:23:38A Mincy that sit at his desk while he goes and throws a game.

00:23:41Talking to each other all day.

00:23:43Oh, Dave would kill himself if he could, oh my god, if Dave could be reading two Mincy's

00:23:48minds, he'd die.

00:23:51His nose would start bleeding and die.

00:23:53KB.

00:23:55Yeah, Dave with that power, he would just be, he'd become the weakest man in the world.

00:24:00He'd crumble.

00:24:01He'd be depressed.

00:24:03I guess Mincy with the ring.

00:24:06So we're two to two right now, Robbie.

00:24:08I'm going to go White Sox Dave.

00:24:10Dave, I think both of these people would just want to show off their power at all times.

00:24:14I think Mincy would be like, check out this ring.

00:24:17And exclusively, they'll want to use it for himself, unfortunately.

00:24:21I think White Sox Dave would also be the kind of guy to just be like, I know what you're

00:24:24thinking right now.

00:24:25I fucking know what you're thinking.

00:24:27I bet you don't think I do, but I know what you're thinking.

00:24:29And he would just go in circles with that.

00:24:31But I think eventually he would help somebody.

00:24:35Mincy, I love, but I think he just helps Mincy.

00:24:37More harm than good, potentially, yeah.

00:24:39Definitely.

00:24:40So we have three for White Sox Dave, two for Mincy.

00:24:42I just asked ChatGPT to make an image of Ben Mintz as the Green Lantern.

00:24:45I think that has a lot of potential.

00:24:49I think it's easily Ben Mintz with the Green Lantern.

00:24:51I mean, it's just based on like, it's not, you know, I'm not voting it because of Mincy,

00:24:55but mind control, or no, not even mind control, mind reading is just, I mean, the Green Lantern

00:25:00ring, I mean.

00:25:00He might lose it.

00:25:01That is the biggest thing, as Danny said.

00:25:03He could lose it.

00:25:03And then it's more harm than any forces.

00:25:05And then Oblock ends up with the Green Lantern ring.

00:25:06But truly, if it was like, hey, the world is about to be fucking invaded by aliens, and

00:25:13we got to send one guy out, and it's White Sox Dave reading their minds, like, that's

00:25:17not going to do anything.

00:25:18Like, they're not even going to be thinking in language, right?

00:25:22He's like, I don't know.

00:25:23They said gibber.

00:25:23And like, at least, at least Mincy, there's a hope.

00:25:26And Mincy does love Mincy, so he might embrace being a superhero, and like, be like, I'm a

00:25:32superhero.

00:25:32Like, just like casually mentioning people at the bars.

00:25:35I need free food for a superhero.

00:25:36Oh my God.

00:25:36His secret identity.

00:25:37His secret identity.

00:25:38We've gone to Mincy.

00:25:39Yeah.

00:25:39No secret identity at any point.

00:25:41So I'm going Mincy with the Green Lantern ring.

00:25:43So we are three to three.

00:25:44So when I'm looking at this, it's a tiebreaker.

00:25:46Oh my God, this looks incredible so far.

00:25:48It's not finished generating, but I'm seeing my potential.

00:25:49Send it to the chat for a second and that's done.

00:25:51So Mincy, between these two, I think right now what I'm thinking is in terms of damage

00:25:55control, and I think Mincy can do so much more damage with the Green Lantern ring than

00:26:00White Sox Dave can, even if White Sox Dave can't do more good.

00:26:03Agreed.

00:26:04So I'm going to go with White Sox Dave and get him forward.

00:26:08But he can't help.

00:26:08He can't help.

00:26:09You know what?

00:26:09I'm going Mincy.

00:26:10I'm going Mincy.

00:26:10This is an incredible image I'm sending right now.

00:26:12Yeah.

00:26:13Oh my God, I can't wait to see that.

00:26:14So next up, we have a matchup of Rico with Ice Control versus Nadeau, who is invisible.

00:26:25Oh my God.

00:26:26That's a good matchup.

00:26:27And I think for this thing, I think Nadeau's got to be butt naked for it to work.

00:26:30He can't wear clothes.

00:26:31The Mincy Green Lantern is crazy.

00:26:35Jesus Christ, this is going shit.

00:26:37What did you type in for this prompt?

00:26:39Make smokes.

00:26:40Yeah, I see exactly what I said.

00:26:41Because it doesn't know exactly what Mintz looks like.

00:26:43No, it doesn't.

00:26:44I said make an image of Ben Mintz as the Green Lantern.

00:26:46That is going to be the thumbnail for this video.

00:26:49So butt naked Nadeau, who is invisible, versus Rico with ice power, starting with you, Tommy.

00:26:56I mean, like we said, Nadeau with invisibility is just going to Latina countries.

00:27:01Yeah, just going to spend a lot of time in Central America.

00:27:07Rico, you know, he, I think, I mean, he would first spend time defeating his enemies with the control ice.

00:27:14But, you know, I think he might, like if Dave told him, go, like he'd be like, all right, Dave told me.

00:27:20Like he would be a superhero if Dave told him to.

00:27:23Like he'd get a better contract.

00:27:25So I'm going to go with Rico controlling ice.

00:27:28One vote for Rico on the ice.

00:27:30I'm going to go with Rico as well.

00:27:32I'm a rider, and I think, I almost picture this battle like the ending of Doctor Strange.

00:27:39Where Doctor Strange realizes, I'm not going to be able to face Dormammu one-on-one, but I can outlast him.

00:27:45And I think Rico is the kind of guy, you could beat him a thousand times, he's getting up every time, and you've got to face him again.

00:27:51So I think it's Rico based on pure heart and outlasting.

00:27:55All right, two votes for Rico, KB.

00:27:58So what is ice control?

00:27:59You can, like, shoot ice out of your hands.

00:28:01You ever see The Incredibles?

00:28:02Frozone, yeah.

00:28:04No, um, yeah, that could be dangerous, right?

00:28:08Oh, yeah.

00:28:09Oh, yeah.

00:28:09You can make icicles and just stab people in the eyes.

00:28:12Mm-hmm.

00:28:12Shoot icicles at people.

00:28:14I feel like we were, uh, underrating invisibility.

00:28:19From Nadeau, though.

00:28:20Yeah, he's invisible.

00:28:23We're looking for someone to save the world?

00:28:25Yes.

00:28:27Mm.

00:28:30Give me Nadeau.

00:28:31I want to see what he can do.

00:28:33I've got to materialize.

00:28:34I've got to conceptualize first, but then, yeah.

00:28:38He's just going to, like, a walk.

00:28:38So I'm trying to picture in my head an end-of-world event, and Nadeau just can't be seen.

00:28:44I can't picture him.

00:28:48I can't picture him invisible.

00:28:50I know.

00:28:51You shouldn't be so far, and I keep picturing him.

00:28:53Yeah, exactly.

00:28:54Oh, man.

00:28:56It's a floating chain.

00:28:57It's just a floating chain.

00:28:59And the glasses, too, yeah.

00:29:02I kind of wish just his hair wasn't invisible.

00:29:04Like, the rest of him was...

00:29:05Yeah, that stays the same.

00:29:07It's floating.

00:29:07Just like the Lego haircut, yeah.

00:29:09You're up, Nick.

00:29:11Just like a tiny palm imprint on a big, fat ass at all times.

00:29:16I can't get it to go away.

00:29:17I don't know what that is.

00:29:19I mean, I feel like Ice Powers is a little bit better than invisibility in this case.

00:29:25So I'm going with Rico.

00:29:27Yeah, I mean, they're actually kind of at odds, even with their powers.

00:29:30Like, Nadeau loving Latinas and Rico controlling Ice.

00:29:32Like, that is actually...

00:29:33Yeah, right.

00:29:34It doubles up.

00:29:35Yeah.

00:29:36It's the only way he could defeat Nadeau.

00:29:38By controlling Ice.

00:29:40Yeah.

00:29:41He can't ever get it broad again.

00:29:43Danny.

00:29:44Regardless of his power, I think I'm taking Rico pretty high on this one for the future

00:29:51bets to come.

00:29:52Rico, Ice.

00:29:54Well, first of all, imagine Ice Cold High Nu can.

00:29:57That's going to do a little more damage.

00:29:59Just making people slip in front of you, too.

00:30:01I think Rico could really fuck some people up with some glaciers.

00:30:05Nadeau, that's just wasted talent, making that man invisible.

00:30:08So give me Rico all day.

00:30:09What other powers did we have left on the board when we were done?

00:30:12We had metal control, self-replication, force field, size shift.

00:30:16Size shifting Nadeau would also be dangerous.

00:30:17I just made Ben Mintz's Batman.

00:30:21And people say this isn't worth $20 a month.

00:30:25Make Nadeau invisible.

00:30:27Make Nadeau invisible.

00:30:28Yeah.

00:30:28What would it do?

00:30:30I'll make your girl invisible.

00:30:33Jay.

00:30:35Ben Mintz is Batman.

00:30:36It's great.

00:30:37I said, make Jeff Nadeau invisible.

00:30:39And they said, done.

00:30:40Nobody can see him now.

00:30:41That's fucking...

00:30:42You are one cheeky...

00:30:44Let me say, mate now.

00:30:45We'll make it like an image where he's got the superpower.

00:30:47Okay.

00:30:48Jay.

00:30:49Rico's old profession is known, right?

00:30:52Yeah.

00:30:53Yeah.

00:30:53Of course.

00:30:54I think so, right?

00:30:54Yeah.

00:30:54A thousand percent.

00:30:55So, I mean, that would be a great service to the world.

00:31:00He was a firefighter, and now he can control ice.

00:31:03He could put out fires nonstop.

00:31:05Staten Island would be the safest place on the world as far as arson.

00:31:08He could.

00:31:09He would probably rather use it to make someone slip getting off an airplane.

00:31:12Yeah.

00:31:12I was going to say, the fire department was like, Rico, please.

00:31:14And he'd be like, no, someone just tweeted at me.

00:31:17I mean, you piss Rico off.

00:31:19You're a block of ice 30 seconds later.

00:31:21Yeah.

00:31:22I got to ice up a 737 engine real quick.

00:31:24We're getting a second Titanic within the first week.

00:31:27Yeah.

00:31:27The LAX runway.

00:31:29Yeah.

00:31:29It's a nice icing over.

00:31:31Whoever's playing Nate Oates.

00:31:33It's the first time it's ever snowed at LAX in July.

00:31:38Okay, so Rico's going to move on.

00:31:41Now we have, from the Tommy section, Hillary with time travel versus a super intelligent

00:31:47Glennie Balls.

00:31:51Starting out with you, Che.

00:31:53I mean, Hillary with time travel, she probably wins the election, no?

00:31:59In 2016.

00:32:00I mean, if she can't win the election with the power of time travel, then.

00:32:04So, you know, maybe she becomes president and is ruling over the world, whatever it was,

00:32:10nine, ten years ago.

00:32:11So, that's versus who?

00:32:14Sorry?

00:32:14A super intelligent Glennie Balls.

00:32:17Sam.

00:32:17Super balls.

00:32:18Because right now we just have regular intelligent Glennie Balls.

00:32:21So, imagine him at super intelligence.

00:32:24Yeah, I mean, certainly he would probably, you know, jazz up Sunday Conversations, booze

00:32:28and burgers, everything he's a part of, only stands.

00:32:32I feel like, and that's not a slight on Glennie Balls, a slight towards any of us.

00:32:36We can only take that so far.

00:32:38I mean, Hillary could have potentially.

00:32:39Do you think with super intelligence he would just be better at only stands?

00:32:43You don't feel like.

00:32:44Wow, that was a really insightful question.

00:32:47I would hope he would be carrying cancer and shit with super intelligence, not just like

00:32:51being better at interviewing porn stars.

00:32:53He's talking like quantum physics with two Michael's.

00:32:56I'm basically picturing Glennie Balls with like a 113 IQ.

00:33:01I'm picturing he's just doing only stands when he's wearing glasses now.

00:33:05That's it.

00:33:06That's it.

00:33:07I mean, we can't forget that Glennie Balls cannot stay awake for that long.

00:33:11No, 16 hours.

00:33:13That's all he's got.

00:33:13Yeah.

00:33:14Yeah.

00:33:15So, where can he take these powers?

00:33:16I'm going to take potentially Hillary.

00:33:19But you think Hillary being president would save the world?

00:33:22No.

00:33:23I mean, I would think she would be the most powerful.

00:33:25I think she would be more powerful than Glennie Balls with super intelligence.

00:33:29Bold.

00:33:31Super intelligent Balls is such a good.

00:33:32I love the concept.

00:33:34Danny.

00:33:35It's impossible.

00:33:36I will be having ChatGPT make super intelligent.

00:33:42Danny.

00:33:42So, like, are butterfly effects into account here with Hillary?

00:33:46Time traveling?

00:33:47Could she fuck up?

00:33:49I think you have to take it into account with time traveling.

00:33:51Right.

00:33:52I think a super intelligent Glennie Balls is smarter than a time traveling Hillary still.

00:33:59And for that reason, I'm going with super intelligent Glennie Balls.

00:34:02Partially because I want to see the content that comes out of it.

00:34:04So, we are one-to-one right now.

00:34:07Nick.

00:34:07Yeah.

00:34:08This is essentially Glennie Balls with the ability to light a lighter.

00:34:11Yeah.

00:34:13Which is, quite frankly, unstoppable.

00:34:17But I think if he had this super intelligence, he could kind of guess where Hillary was going to be.

00:34:22He could probably build a time machine.

00:34:23Bingo.

00:34:24So, I'm going Glenn B.

00:34:26Glennie Balls, two to one.

00:34:28Decent work around.

00:34:28Yeah.

00:34:29KB?

00:34:30Balls aside, I'm trying to just match up super intelligence and time travel.

00:34:35How super is the intelligence?

00:34:37Would he just be the most intelligent man on Earth?

00:34:39Or would he be way beyond that?

00:34:42I think he needs to be smarter than the smartest person on Earth by, like, a factor of two.

00:34:46That's what I'm thinking in my head.

00:34:48I don't know about you, Robbie.

00:34:49Yeah, yeah.

00:34:49Comic book world.

00:34:50That feels fair.

00:34:50And then time travel is essentially just unlimited mulligans.

00:34:55Yeah.

00:34:55Unlimited mulligans.

00:34:57Well, hmm.

00:34:59Give me balls.

00:35:00I still got to figure out what he'd do with it, but give me balls.

00:35:03Well, he'd be still doing only stands.

00:35:05As we bring.

00:35:07I love the visual of him of interviewing a Bella Danger with, like, glasses.

00:35:12Like a lat coat.

00:35:15That's the only thing.

00:35:16I love, love, love Glennie Balls.

00:35:19There are few people that have ever walked the face of the Earth that I would trust less, even with super intelligence, to save the Earth.

00:35:26So call me a limb.

00:35:28I'm taking Hill Dog with the Time Stone.

00:35:30One vote for Hillary.

00:35:32Sorry, three to two right now in favor of super intelligent Glennie Balls.

00:35:35Tommy.

00:35:35I think super intelligence would actually hurt Glennie's brand.

00:35:39Like, I think people aren't like, oh, I fucking love Glennie Balls.

00:35:41He's so smart.

00:35:43No.

00:35:43Nobody's ever said that sentence.

00:35:45No.

00:35:45Like, it would take away some of his charm and his allure.

00:35:49Yeah.

00:35:49But I do think, you know, Glennie Balls loves his pussy.

00:35:52And if saving the world would get him more pussy, I do think he would give it an honest effort.

00:35:58And so I'm going to go Glennie Balls with super intelligence.

00:36:00Just, he would be awful with super intelligence.

00:36:02Not the best ChatGBT image.

00:36:04I might have to.

00:36:04Redo that one?

00:36:05I might have to, like, prompt it a little.

00:36:08Say Glennie Balls from Sunday Conversations.

00:36:10Yeah.

00:36:11That would definitely help.

00:36:12Glennie Balls having Hillary Clinton in a figure four leg lock.

00:36:15In the walls of Jericho, yeah.

00:36:17So now we have Lin-Manuel Miranda with telekinesis.

00:36:20Again, the ability to move things with your mind versus a teleporting Kanye West.

00:36:24Starting with you.

00:36:26Sorry, what is it again?

00:36:27It is Lin-Manuel Miranda with telekinesis versus Kanye West with telepathy.

00:36:31Or, sorry, teleportation.

00:36:32I guess it's Lin-Manuel with telekinesis.

00:36:36Yes.

00:36:37Yeah, yeah.

00:36:38I mean, Lin-Manuel Miranda, I think he's a runt, but he's not a bad guy.

00:36:41That's, like, one of the meanest things that are a runt.

00:36:43You can describe someone as a runt.

00:36:44And coming from me.

00:36:47Kanye is obviously, like, a bad guy.

00:36:49And he's moving around.

00:36:50I actually don't know how much harm he could do with teleportation.

00:36:54It's just like, oh, Kanye.

00:36:54He's at every award show.

00:36:56Right, Kanye's in New Zealand.

00:36:57Yeah, he's just doing what.

00:36:59And I don't know if he'd want to save the world.

00:37:01Lin-Manuel Miranda would be like, oh, this will be good for my career if I save the

00:37:04world with telekinesis.

00:37:06So I'll take him, I guess.

00:37:07He would write a musical about him saving the world, for sure.

00:37:10Robbie?

00:37:11Lin-Manuel, of course.

00:37:12Gotta go with my guy.

00:37:13Yeah, it's your number one guy.

00:37:14LMM.

00:37:15Yeah.

00:37:15KB?

00:37:17And what is telekinesis again?

00:37:18Move things with your mind.

00:37:21Sometimes also, like, blow things up with your mind.

00:37:24Like the guy from Accepted.

00:37:25True.

00:37:25The Pineapple.

00:37:27What would Lin do with that power?

00:37:29What would Lin do with it?

00:37:32Yeah, I could not tell you.

00:37:34I think he would use it to, like.

00:37:34Black Thespian's ass shake.

00:37:36I think if it's, like, aliens come down, you, like, pick up their ship and throw it into

00:37:40space.

00:37:41That could work.

00:37:42God, that would suck.

00:37:43Oh, my God, yeah, give me Lin with that power, yeah.

00:37:46Three for Lin, Nick?

00:37:48Yeah, you gotta go Lin here.

00:37:49I think that's just overpowered.

00:37:51Kanye, again, maybe he's too selfish.

00:37:55I'm still thinking about smart Glennie balls.

00:37:59As soon as, like, it happens to him, he's like, oh, my God, what am I doing?

00:38:01I'm, he introduced himself as Glenn Testes.

00:38:06Glenn Testes.

00:38:07I need to change.

00:38:08Can you put your breasts away, please?

00:38:10Please, I'm Glenn Testes now.

00:38:13Glenn or Testicles.

00:38:15MD, MD, JD.

00:38:18Glenn Testicles, MD.

00:38:21Jay, or sorry, Danny.

00:38:23I think Kanye could ruin the world with teleportation if he wanted to.

00:38:27Also, if you're, like, fighting against him, he can just poof real quick, get away from

00:38:32the attack.

00:38:32But for that same reason, I gotta go Lin, because you can't trust Kanye with that kind

00:38:36of power.

00:38:38I think he shows up, Kanye shows up, like, right in front of whoever's doing the national

00:38:42anthem at the Super Bowl to sing the Hail Hitler song or something.

00:38:45I think that's how he's using it.

00:38:47He would definitely use it for more practical, jokey, but mean-spirited things than anything

00:38:51good.

00:38:53Starting now out to you, Jay.

00:38:56I'm going Miranda.

00:38:57We might see a Lin Sanity-type run.

00:38:59Oh, my God.

00:39:01Good stuff, Jay.

00:39:02He held on to that one.

00:39:03He's been waiting for that one.

00:39:04I like that.

00:39:05Good to hold on that one.

00:39:07So Lin Manuel Miranda is going to move on.

00:39:09Before we get to the second half, let's talk about Blue Chew.

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00:39:29As we were just talking about this before, Robbie.

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00:39:35Guys, this isn't about performance.

00:39:36It is about your legacy or third legacy.

00:39:39Give her group chat something to talk about.

00:39:43Man, can you imagine finding that secondhand in a girl's group chat that they were talking about how good you were at sex?

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00:40:18Which one did you just say?

00:40:19He tried to redo the Glennie bald one, but it's just a neon sign behind him that says Theo Vaughn was right.

00:40:25Right about that.

00:40:27I said, make it look more like him, but have him be eating ice cream and interviewing a hot girl and include something about Theo Vaughn.

00:40:33I loved that Theo Vaughn was right in this fictional world where Glennie is humanity's last one.

00:40:38We were torn apart by a Theo Vaughn take.

00:40:41All right, on the other side, first up, we have controlling the weather, gay black man going up against electric control, Bess Truman.

00:40:54Oh, my God.

00:40:55An old bag, former first lady versus gay black man who controls the weather.

00:40:59An inverse storm, I guess, in a way.

00:41:01Starting with you, Tommy.

00:41:04I mean, I think I would rather have gay black men be able to control the weather.

00:41:09It'd be sunny all the time.

00:41:09But how much power would that really, I don't know if that could do, if that could really save the world.

00:41:14You can control, like, lightning and stuff, too.

00:41:16It's like Storm from X-Men where, like, he should zap shit and throw gusts.

00:41:19The old lady with electrical powers?

00:41:21Yes.

00:41:22No, no, I'm saying gay black men can also do that.

00:41:23No, I know.

00:41:24I'm saying the old lady is.

00:41:25Yeah, she controls, like, all electrical currents.

00:41:27Bess.

00:41:27Yeah, Bess.

00:41:28I bet she'd do some good with that.

00:41:30You know, she's got America in her blood.

00:41:32Her husband dropped those bombs.

00:41:34Sure did.

00:41:34True.

00:41:35I think, you know, she might be like, oh, you think my husband did damage?

00:41:40Like, wait till you see what I got in store for Japan.

00:41:43Oh, my God.

00:41:45I hope not.

00:41:47Bess Truman unleashed on the archapelle.

00:41:49It's my turn, Harry.

00:41:50I guess I'll go Harry Truman with electric.

00:41:55Sorry, Bess Truman.

00:41:56Bess Truman.

00:41:57One vote for Bess Truman.

00:41:59I'm going back and forth because I know it's not, we're not pitting these two against each

00:42:03other necessarily, but I feel like Bess Truman can be taken out by the weather.

00:42:09I feel like if she's controlling electricity in that way and someone strikes it down with

00:42:14fucking lightning, she's done.

00:42:16You're done.

00:42:17So, I feel like maybe aliens can do the same thing for that reason.

00:42:20I can't take Bess.

00:42:21I'm going with what's the...

00:42:22Gabe Blackman.

00:42:23Gabe Blackman with the weather?

00:42:24Gabe Blackman with the weather.

00:42:25Gabe Blackman.

00:42:26Yeah, that's what I said.

00:42:27Gabe Blackman.

00:42:28Yeah, Gabe Blackman.

00:42:29That's what we're saying, right?

00:42:30Gabe Blackman.

00:42:31That's what I said.

00:42:32KB.

00:42:32Gabe Blackman.

00:42:35So, Bess's power would be controlling electricity.

00:42:39Mm-hmm.

00:42:40Can you use that to kill?

00:42:41Yes.

00:42:42Oh, yeah.

00:42:42Try someone up.

00:42:43You can stop their fucking heart from beating with the electrical currents.

00:42:46Oh, my God.

00:42:47Yeah.

00:42:47Give me Bess with that power.

00:42:49Two votes for Bess Truman.

00:42:51Nick?

00:42:53So, Bess is known.

00:42:54She was kind of really behind the scenes.

00:42:56They don't know much about her legacy.

00:42:58They said she calmed down Harry.

00:43:00I don't know what that means.

00:43:01Not calm enough.

00:43:03Yeah, right.

00:43:05Imagine.

00:43:06If she did a good job at that, imagine the destruction he would have caused.

00:43:11Oh, yeah.

00:43:12True.

00:43:12But I think she's pretty level-headed.

00:43:15I'm going Bess.

00:43:16Three votes for Bess Truman.

00:43:18Or, yeah, Bess Truman.

00:43:19Danny?

00:43:22I think controlling the weather is the coolest power of all these.

00:43:26And you get to use, so you'd have rain, lightning, even be able to zap someone with lightning, I think, is very underrated.

00:43:33I'm going to have to go with our guy, Gabe Blackman.

00:43:36Another, or two votes now for Gabe Blackman.

00:43:39Che?

00:43:40Actually, I'm going to switch to Gabe Blackman.

00:43:42Oh!

00:43:43I think, in a way, he could cause world peace with perfect weather.

00:43:48I think if it was always sunny and no humidity and 75 degrees, I think, I mean, it's a risk, but I'm going to go Gabe Blackman.

00:43:58And we're talking about Che.

00:43:59What do they say about the sweet?

00:44:02The sweet?

00:44:03Oh, the sweet isn't a sweet without the sour.

00:44:05Exactly.

00:44:05Of course.

00:44:06What saves us from the end of the world, like an apocalypse, that's always terrible weather.

00:44:10Lightning, dark clouds.

00:44:12It is funny to imagine an apocalypse, but like a really nice day.

00:44:15Yeah.

00:44:16The rainbow.

00:44:17A 78 and sunny apocalypse.

00:44:18Well, I'm thinking of that apocalypse movie the Obama's made.

00:44:21Remember that?

00:44:22End of the world, or whatever.

00:44:23Leave the world behind.

00:44:24Very nice weather.

00:44:26Technology was out.

00:44:26We were fucked.

00:44:27Mm-hmm.

00:44:29So right now, we have three votes for Gabe Blackman, and then two votes for Bess Truman.

00:44:33Che?

00:44:33He's saying it weird, isn't he?

00:44:34Gay Blackman.

00:44:35Gay Blackman.

00:44:37Yeah, there it is.

00:44:38Well, I was saying it that way the whole time.

00:44:40No.

00:44:40Mm-mm.

00:44:41Che?

00:44:43In X-Men, I did a rewatch of the cartoon, actually, somewhat recently, with my son.

00:44:49And the coolest, looking back on it, the coolest character with the most power, in my opinion,

00:44:54is Storm.

00:44:55Yeah.

00:44:55Because she can control the weather, all the lightning, all the tornadoes, anything she

00:45:00wants to get the best of the bad guys.

00:45:01I think, you know, with these two characters being somewhat unknown to regular people walking

00:45:09around, I'm going to go with Mr. Lackman and his ability to control the weather.

00:45:14Blackman.

00:45:15Yeah.

00:45:15Gabe Lackman is going to move on with his weather control.

00:45:18Now we have Jason Mraz with super strength.

00:45:22I can't remember.

00:45:23I forgot.

00:45:24Against a flying Simon Birch.

00:45:27This is a battle of the Titans.

00:45:29Oh, man.

00:45:30Oh, man.

00:45:31Couldn't script it up better for Anus.

00:45:32This is airborne Simon Birch versus super strong Jason Mraz, starting with you, Jay.

00:45:39I mean, Mraz is not a fighter.

00:45:41And I don't think that he's a protector of worlds.

00:45:45Sure, he has a nice fedora once in a while, but I don't know what other qualities he's

00:45:51bringing to the table.

00:45:52Whereas, sorry, who is he going up again?

00:45:53Simon Birch.

00:45:54Simon Birch.

00:45:55I mean, flying is at least, like, intimidating, can get from one place to another, can also

00:45:59offset Simon's height.

00:46:01Um, so give me, uh, Simon Birch.

00:46:04I think he's frail.

00:46:05Yeah, he's just like, uh, he's like, what's he going to do?

00:46:08He's going to be a pest.

00:46:09Like, bugs can fly and they don't.

00:46:11Yeah.

00:46:13He would fuck it up somehow, too, being able to fly.

00:46:16If he hit him, his first fucking shot, he killed someone.

00:46:19Yeah.

00:46:20Yeah, he'd be very, he'd be very reckless.

00:46:22I picture the baby from The Incredibles.

00:46:24Yeah, Jack Jack.

00:46:25I was just going haywire the whole time.

00:46:27It's causing more harm.

00:46:28Um, but, who was the other one?

00:46:31Jason Mraz.

00:46:32Jason Mraz.

00:46:32Super Strength.

00:46:33Yeah, that's, that's not doing anything.

00:46:34That's another waste of talent.

00:46:36I don't want, I can't, I can't, I think you guys are crazy.

00:46:38I can't trust the Super Jack guy wearing a fedora.

00:46:40I think Jason Mraz is the perfect man to have Super Strength.

00:46:41Agreed.

00:46:41Mm-hmm.

00:46:42So what are you thinking, Danny?

00:46:43I'll still go Mraz, just cause Birch is gonna fuck this up himself.

00:46:50Mm-hmm.

00:46:51Uh, so we are one vote for Mraz, one vote for Simon Birch, Nick.

00:46:55Think about how demoralizing it would be for the enemy if Mr. AZ was just scatting as he

00:47:00was beating the shit out of people.

00:47:02It was like that NHL fighter, he was like, bang, bang, and he's just destroying you with

00:47:08the fedora, like, that's so, he would probably, it's almost like that, uh, that scene in the

00:47:14beginning of Troy, where they settle it just like, my best against your best, and they would

00:47:19be so demoralized after seeing that one fight would be done.

00:47:21Mm-hmm.

00:47:22Um, I'm going Mr. AZ.

00:47:23Mraz with two votes, KB?

00:47:25The Wizard of Ooze and Oz and Fa-la-laz, right?

00:47:30You're absolutely right.

00:47:32I might have heard that one.

00:47:33Yeah.

00:47:33Mraz, so with super strength, he'd be able to maul like a, like a lion or a bear?

00:47:38Oh, with ease, with ease.

00:47:40Oh, yeah.

00:47:41So we're talking like Hulk?

00:47:42Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

00:47:43I was thinking like Superman strength.

00:47:45That's what I was thinking, like Superman level strength, like you can hold him a building.

00:47:50Oh my God, yeah.

00:47:50His clothes are ripped, but he's just wearing the fedoras.

00:47:52It doesn't rip.

00:47:53No, he has like one of those special fedoras.

00:47:55It's like made out of like carbon alloy that can't be, it can't be destroyed.

00:47:58Oh, cool.

00:47:59Okay.

00:48:00So what are you thinking, KB?

00:48:01Yeah, give me Mraz.

00:48:02Yeah.

00:48:03Another vote for Mraz.

00:48:04This is, it's crazy that this is even a competition.

00:48:07It's, we have a world ending battle ahead of us.

00:48:11Do we send in like the little handicapped boy who has a manslaughter charge?

00:48:15Or do we send in the Hulk?

00:48:17It's Jason Mraz.

00:48:19And Mraz is going to move on.

00:48:20Yeah, I think Mraz is one of the best people on the list to have this super strength power

00:48:23too.

00:48:24There's something noble about him.

00:48:25He's not in it for the wrong reasons.

00:48:27Yep.

00:48:27He just fucking loves people.

00:48:28He never acts for this power.

00:48:30Right.

00:48:30He loves humanity.

00:48:31It was given to him.

00:48:32It was bestowed upon him.

00:48:33Yeah.

00:48:34Yeah.

00:48:34I mean, the other, the little boy would fuck it up royally.

00:48:36Like he does everything else.

00:48:37Yeah.

00:48:38Jason Mraz saved the world with one song.

00:48:41Imagine with him with strength.

00:48:42Yeah.

00:48:42Imagine.

00:48:42Do you know how many plays I'm yours has on Spotify?

00:48:45Yeah.

00:48:46Is it Billy?

00:48:46No.

00:48:47Two.

00:48:49Damn.

00:48:50Mraz.

00:48:52So you rarely see a two Billy.

00:48:54Two Billy on I'm yours.

00:48:56So Mraz is with super strength.

00:49:02That thought process now of him skippity skippeting on people as he beats the shit out of those.

00:49:07Brutal.

00:49:07So now on the top side, Che's picks, we have a super speed Adam Schefter versus a controlling

00:49:14fire Tony Dungy.

00:49:15Who do you trust to save the world?

00:49:17Let's start with you, Che.

00:49:21So I'm going to admit, I forgot about Dungy's problematic background.

00:49:26I was going to say, it's probably not the guy that hates a group of humans.

00:49:28In which case, he would probably scorch them.

00:49:31It is a problem.

00:49:32I don't know.

00:49:32He would, though.

00:49:33I bet he'd save a lot of people.

00:49:35In which case, Tony would scorch them.

00:49:38He'd be a homelander.

00:49:39Tony, don't scorch the gays.

00:49:43Jeez.

00:49:45So I don't know that he's going to be using that power for good.

00:49:47Overall, I viewed him as kind of a protector, father figure type character.

00:49:51He's also an evil power inherently.

00:49:52But Schefter with super speed, I mean, he's got super speed as far as news getting and

00:49:56reporting and stuff like that.

00:49:57I have said that I think he could break world news and he has done that.

00:50:01But, I mean, if he had super speed, his powers could know no limits.

00:50:05So I got to go my guy Schefter.

00:50:06One vote for super speed, Adam Schefter.

00:50:09Danny.

00:50:10Yeah, I'm just going to avoid having to defend myself against Schefter and not choose Dungy

00:50:16for his problematic past.

00:50:18How fast is his super speed?

00:50:19Like, the Flash was able to reverse the spin of the earth.

00:50:22I'm thinking Flash.

00:50:23That was my first thought.

00:50:24Jesus Christ.

00:50:25Yeah.

00:50:25Adam Schefter.

00:50:27He's reversing trades in real time.

00:50:29I'm going, I'll go Schefter then.

00:50:31Three votes for Schefter, KB.

00:50:33Yeah, give me the guy who can scorch the earth over a fast guy.

00:50:40How can you ever use that power for good and not have any other casualties, though?

00:50:45That's what I mean.

00:50:45Burn your enemies?

00:50:46You burn your enemies down and then something else catches on fire with a big gust of wind.

00:50:49You need to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.

00:50:52Like, he has a better chance of defeating this alien force.

00:50:58Yeah, he might take out some gays.

00:50:59What if they have fire extinguishers?

00:51:01What if they have fire extinguishers, the aliens?

00:51:03Then we're fucked.

00:51:03They don't have fire extinguishers.

00:51:06That's not being crazy here.

00:51:07In outer space.

00:51:08Why has all of San Francisco been tors?

00:51:11It's gone.

00:51:12Fire Island is gone.

00:51:13West Hollywood is in the family.

00:51:14I'll battle you aliens, but this battle goes down in San Fran.

00:51:17Why do they burn Jason Mraz?

00:51:21Wait a minute.

00:51:22Don't do that, Mraz.

00:51:23So we're three for Shefty.

00:51:25Common misconception.

00:51:26One for Tony Dungy.

00:51:27Oh, I got a great image of Mraz as super strength.

00:51:32Robbie.

00:51:35Yeah, I'm going Shefty.

00:51:36Shefty super speed.

00:51:37Bringing up the fact that he could reverse time, that's some ball-knower shit from NEC.

00:51:42Good stuff.

00:51:44I think that brings big factors.

00:51:45It's basically Tom Travel.

00:51:46Yeah, that's actually a really good image of Mraz as superman.

00:51:50That is pretty good.

00:51:53So you're going to go for Shefty, Tommy?

00:51:55I'm going Dungy.

00:51:56I think Adam Shefty is too addicted to the grind.

00:51:58Yeah, of course.

00:51:59Where like he, even if he had this power, he would still just be like, I'm still going

00:52:03to work for ESPN and be a reporter.

00:52:04Like he can't give up what he loves.

00:52:06Tony Dungy, he might do a bit of bad with these powers, but I think he's our best hope

00:52:12of saving humanity.

00:52:13Someone who is not an ally.

00:52:15Have you seen that one coming?

00:52:17Listen, I didn't put him as one of my four most trusted people in the fucking world.

00:52:24Speaking of, now we have Giannis with mind control versus Brian Windhorst with heat vision.

00:52:31Just a horrifying thought.

00:52:34Tommy.

00:52:35This is tough.

00:52:37Wait, can you describe what heat vision is?

00:52:39Is that like Cyclops?

00:52:40Let's pick like Cyclops, like shooting lasers out of your eyes.

00:52:45Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

00:52:46I think, I mean, Giannis, obviously he's athletic, he's strong, but he's not like super, you know,

00:52:51if he's fighting super villains, I don't know if that's enough.

00:52:54But mind control, Brian, it would just be weird if Brian Windhorst could shoot lasers out

00:53:01of his eyes.

00:53:01Everyone was like, okay, Brian.

00:53:05Not now.

00:53:07Brian.

00:53:08We get over it, I think.

00:53:10So I think I'll go with mind control, Giannis.

00:53:12One vote for mind control, Giannis.

00:53:14I'm going to go mind control, Giannis, too, because I think it almost takes away the need

00:53:19to fight.

00:53:20Sure.

00:53:20If it's a Jedi mind trick style thing, you could just be like, hey, aliens, go back

00:53:25to your home planet and leave us in peace for eternity.

00:53:28Do you remember the video of him with the blowjob bell?

00:53:30Oh, I do.

00:53:31Oh, yeah.

00:53:31He like rang it and his girlfriend ran into the room or something?

00:53:33I don't think she ran in, but I think she was yelling at him.

00:53:36Gotcha.

00:53:36Yeah.

00:53:37Crazy.

00:53:38I forgot that was him.

00:53:41KB, what do you think?

00:53:42I feel like mind control is the best power we have on this bracket.

00:53:45It might be.

00:53:46You could just make everyone happy or sad.

00:53:49Give me that.

00:53:52Another vote for Giannis, Nick?

00:53:55I mean, it depends on what's taking over the world, right?

00:53:58If it's like multiple waves of like aliens, if he can only do one at a time, I feel like

00:54:03heat vision could do more damage faster.

00:54:05Interesting.

00:54:07Give me Brian.

00:54:09Give me Brian with the laser vision.

00:54:11One vote for Wendy.

00:54:12Danny?

00:54:13Give me Giannis, mind control, like KB said.

00:54:15I think that's the highest ranking superpower on our list.

00:54:18I feel like Brian Windhorst with heat vision is just like more of a deformity of his.

00:54:22He doesn't even really use it.

00:54:23It's just something he has to deal with.

00:54:25Yeah, he's like ashamed.

00:54:26He has to wear the glasses like Cyclops.

00:54:28Yeah, the goggles.

00:54:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:54:29Che?

00:54:31Yeah, I mean, I love Wendy, but if Giannis has mind control, he would just stop him and

00:54:35be like, don't do that and move him out of the way.

00:54:38So I feel like Giannis would have to win that.

00:54:40So that means Giannis with mind control is going to move on before he run through our

00:54:43playoffs.

00:54:43Let's talk about Sony Pictures Classics.

00:54:45Sony Pictures Classics proudly presents.

00:54:48Proudly presents.

00:54:48Why is that fucking up in my mouth?

00:54:50I can sound tongue twister or not.

00:54:51Proudly presents.

00:54:53Oh Hi, the new comedy directed by Sophie Brooks and starring Molly Gordon, who a lot of you

00:54:56probably know from The Bear.

00:54:58Yep.

00:54:59That is Carmi's girlfriend from The Bear.

00:55:01Oh, no way.

00:55:02Yeah, as Iris and Logan Lerman, who is like now the hottest dude in the world, he used

00:55:06to be like a guy who cast as a dork and is now like one of the hottest guys.

00:55:09He was always a hard throb, but now he's hot.

00:55:10Yeah, but now he's like an all-time white boy.

00:55:12Yeah, he is a swagged out white boy.

00:55:15As Isaac in the first romantic getaway as a couple that goes awry, convinced that she's

00:55:19met the perfect guy, Iris gets increasingly ridiculous and irrational to prove that Isaac

00:55:23and her are meant to be together, including chasing him to the, or chaining him, sorry,

00:55:28chaining him to the bed.

00:55:29I remember this trailer now.

00:55:30So, this dark romantic comedy takes on highs and lows of modern dating and the ways it

00:55:35makes it all a little crazy.

00:55:36Oh Hi is played to laughs and sell out crowds at Sundance and Tribeca Film Festival.

00:55:41Hollywood Reporter says that Oh Hi contains one of the best comedy sex scenes to grace

00:55:44the big screen in some time.

00:55:46Tommy's ears just spurted up.

00:55:48This actually sounds very good.

00:55:50And Fandom Wire calls Oh Hi an absolute riot, keeps the laughs running throughout.

00:55:53See Oh Hi, starring Molly Gordon and Logan Lerman, only in theaters July 25th.

00:55:57Tickets are on sale right now at OhHiMovie.com.

00:55:59That's O-H-H-I-Movie.com for more info.

00:56:03Very excited for that.

00:56:03I like her too.

00:56:04She's really good in The Bear.

00:56:05Great in The Bear.

00:56:05And Logan Lerman is great.

00:56:07Best sex scene ever hit film.

00:56:09Tommy's like, huh, that actually sounds pretty good.

00:56:11Yeah.

00:56:12Something's sounding cool about this.

00:56:13We did pitch Superman to Glennie Balls who said he didn't want to watch it.

00:56:17I was like, there's tons of boobs in it.

00:56:19Check it out.

00:56:20Tommy was like, oh yeah, tons of Theo Vaughn clips.

00:56:23I was like, he saves the world and then pounds a Jimmy John's sandwich.

00:56:26We were really just trying to get him to get to the theater.

00:56:30That actually winds up perfect for our first matchup of the playoffs.

00:56:32A super intelligent Glennie Balls versus Lin-Manuel Miranda with telekinesis.

00:56:37Oh, I wish Glennie Balls would beat the piss out of him.

00:56:40Starting with you, Che.

00:56:41I mean, you guys are kind of selling me on the Glennie Balls with super intelligence.

00:56:51Because I'm, you're right, I'm just thinking of him as Glennie Balls but being smarter.

00:56:56But I have to expand my mind to think about Glennie Balls, the superhero.

00:57:00And I think he could do some damage and potentially save the world.

00:57:02So give me Glennie.

00:57:03One vote for a smart Glennie Balls.

00:57:05Danny.

00:57:07I trust Balls as well.

00:57:08I also don't think telekinesis is that great of a power.

00:57:12I think we're sleeping on telekinesis.

00:57:13Yeah, Glennie Balls.

00:57:14I think telekinesis is huge.

00:57:15I think we're sleeping on it too.

00:57:16I think it's literally the force of Star Wars.

00:57:18Telekinesis, again, you can move things.

00:57:19Move things with your mind, yeah.

00:57:21And you can move people.

00:57:22Yep.

00:57:22It's Matilda.

00:57:24Yes.

00:57:24Kind of like that.

00:57:25Matilda.

00:57:26Matilda.

00:57:27Is it Professor X or no?

00:57:28Yes.

00:57:29He's more than, yeah, I think, yeah, yeah.

00:57:31He's a strong as shit.

00:57:32He has like telekinesis and mind control and telepathy.

00:57:35He has like all the brain powers.

00:57:36So we are two votes for super intelligent Balls.

00:57:40Nick.

00:57:41Look at how far Glennie's made it with just slightly above average intelligence.

00:57:46That's putting ass.

00:57:51Just if they crank it up a notch to super intelligence, it's unstoppable.

00:57:56He's unstoppable.

00:57:58I'm going Glenn.

00:57:59Another vote for Glenn.

00:58:00KB.

00:58:00You hit the nail on the head.

00:58:03I just can't imagine Glennie even smarter.

00:58:10Despite the fact that, like, Lynn could presumably move him and control his body.

00:58:18Could Lynn, like, send him to the stratosphere?

00:58:21In the blink of an eye.

00:58:22Yeah.

00:58:22But Glennie's really smart.

00:58:26Smarter than now.

00:58:28So give me Glennie.

00:58:29He's at least four times as smart as he is now.

00:58:32Okay, wow.

00:58:32Okay, give me the intelligent Balls.

00:58:34Super intelligent Balls.

00:58:36We're talking about NBA reporters with heat vision.

00:58:38We're like, I can't picture an intelligent Glennie.

00:58:42Brian Windhorst shooting lasers out of his eyes makes more sense.

00:58:44If Glennie was as super intelligent Balls as Glennard testicles and 10,000 times smarter

00:58:54than he is now, I would still be picking Lin-Manuel.

00:58:57And that's all due respect to Glennie Balls.

00:59:00There's no chance I'm ever, ever, ever putting the fate of humanity in Glennie Balls.

00:59:06I don't think he likes humanity enough to give him that power.

00:59:10He should be so thankful for him.

00:59:12Nashville would be untouched.

00:59:14He would put up a barrier just around him.

00:59:15The Barstool Bar in Nashville.

00:59:16The Guardian of Nashville.

00:59:17Yeah, he'd just be winning trivia nights at the Barstool Bar in Nashville.

00:59:23Yeah.

00:59:24It's the extent.

00:59:25Marshmallow, the chain smokers, they're fine.

00:59:27The rest of us, we gotta worry.

00:59:29Safe zones around every Twitter.

00:59:30I'm certain the Eagle Eye Cherry sings this song.

00:59:32Write it down.

00:59:34I just texted Glennie.

00:59:36I said, Glenn, if you were gifted the superpower of super intelligence, do you think you could

00:59:40save the world and what would be the first things you'd do?

00:59:43I'll see his answer.

00:59:45We'll give him like an hour for that.

00:59:48He's like, I'd probably be able to watch King of Queens at 2x speed.

00:59:50Yeah, yeah.

00:59:54Tommy?

00:59:55I'm going with super intelligent Glennie.

00:59:56I just hate Lin-Manuel Miranda.

00:59:58I quite frankly don't want to keep talking about him.

01:00:01I do like the idea of talking about a smart Glennie Balls.

01:00:04Now, we have Rico with ice powers against Mincy with the Green Lantern ring.

01:00:11Tom?

01:00:11Oh, God.

01:00:12I think it's gotta be Min...

01:00:14I just think the Green Lantern ring is so powerful.

01:00:17And I know Mincy's so dumb, but...

01:00:19But if we were getting...

01:00:22It's tough.

01:00:25I'd rather...

01:00:26But I mean, Rico isn't like the most stand-up guy.

01:00:31Well, that's not a guy.

01:00:32Rico does do good in his own mind.

01:00:34Like, Rico in his mind is doing the noble thing all the time.

01:00:37Yeah.

01:00:38Correct.

01:00:39Mincy doesn't really think in nobility.

01:00:41No.

01:00:44I'm gonna go Mincy with the Green Lantern ring.

01:00:47One vote for Mincy with the Green Lantern ring.

01:00:49I'm gonna go Rico.

01:00:51Again, I feel like when we go into these, I kind of pit the two against each other.

01:00:55And I think, what would happen if they were against each other?

01:00:58Oh, boy.

01:00:58What'd Ball say?

01:00:59Glennie said, I don't think I would do much, honestly.

01:01:03And then he said, what even is the superpower of super intelligence?

01:01:08Like, I could...

01:01:09Like, I could cure cancer, but he's spelled cure C-U-R-R.

01:01:19Yeah, yeah.

01:01:20So that's perfect.

01:01:21I wouldn't even autocorrect to that.

01:01:23You have to wave off autocorrect on that.

01:01:26Like, you need to say, no, I meant to spell it this way.

01:01:29I got this.

01:01:30I just said you got the screenshot.

01:01:31I don't know if any text has to be like that Popeyes worker.

01:01:37Yeah.

01:01:38Like, I could cure cancer.

01:01:40What is the cure cancer?

01:01:42He's one of the dumbest guys I've ever met.

01:01:43One of my favorite people I've ever met.

01:01:44But one of the dumbest, for sure.

01:01:46Oh, you shouldn't.

01:01:46I was gonna say, with Mintz and Rico, if I were to put them against each other, I know

01:01:51that ring is off of Mintz's finger and onto Rico's in the blink of an eye.

01:01:54Like, so fast you can't believe it would make your head spin.

01:01:57He'd be like, oh, can I see that ring?

01:01:59Immediately, the ring is given up.

01:02:00Yeah, that's true.

01:02:01So I think I gotta go with Rico.

01:02:02You know what would be kind of funny is if Mintz had the power of, like, Shazam?

01:02:05Or, like, if you, because in the Shazam, if you say the word Shazam, you turn into Shazam.

01:02:09And he would just constantly, accidentally turn into Shazam.

01:02:11Yeah.

01:02:12Like, yeah, I think I'm not being Shazam later.

01:02:13And just immediately turning into Shazam while he's, like, on the toilet or something.

01:02:16So two votes for Rico.

01:02:17One vote for, or, sorry, we are one-to-one right now.

01:02:21KB.

01:02:23So Rico can just turn things to ice?

01:02:25And he could generate ice and control it.

01:02:29That he would, everything would just be ice, right?

01:02:32If he wanted to, yeah.

01:02:33Like, it's up to him.

01:02:33That's what he would do.

01:02:35Would that save the world if we were all frozen?

01:02:37He could, like, freeze a meteor.

01:02:39He'd snap on everyone.

01:02:41You can't use your ship anymore.

01:02:42It's fucking frozen.

01:02:43Your pipes are frozen.

01:02:44But he would turn on everyone.

01:02:45Everyone.

01:02:46Give me Mintz.

01:02:48Give me Ben.

01:02:49Rico would love to freeze his neighbor's pipes.

01:02:52Oh, yeah.

01:02:52Whichever one he'd come with.

01:02:53Yeah.

01:02:54The old lady in the Facebook group.

01:02:56Yeah.

01:02:57Two votes for Mintz.

01:02:58One vote for Rico.

01:02:59Nick?

01:03:01I mean, Rico would, it's Rico.

01:03:05It's Rico.

01:03:06I think he can tap a rage that few humans can tap.

01:03:10And if there's an enemy of humanity, like, how do you think he'd act after saving the world, though?

01:03:17Oh.

01:03:17Would it be a world you want to live in?

01:03:19No.

01:03:19God, no.

01:03:21Yeah.

01:03:22In a world of all riders.

01:03:23He came up to us after the yak end.

01:03:24No, I'm going Rico for sure here.

01:03:26Not even close.

01:03:27He came up to us after the yak end.

01:03:28He's like, yeah, you guys watch.

01:03:29I blacked out.

01:03:34He would just, he'd still be like, so what are they saying on me?

01:03:36What are they saying about me online?

01:03:38Like, after he saved the world.

01:03:42Two to two right now.

01:03:43Danny?

01:03:44I mean, Rico reads a bad comment.

01:03:46We get a new Ice Age just like that.

01:03:47If anyone were to beat Rico, though, I think it would be Mincy.

01:03:52He just always finds a way to accidentally win.

01:03:55Like, he would accidentally, like, drop the ring or something and it would kill Rico.

01:04:00But for most powerful, I mean, it's Rico by far.

01:04:02I said this from the start.

01:04:03I'm afraid of Rico with any power.

01:04:06Rico needs less powers as is right now.

01:04:09Fuck.

01:04:09I should have a Dante on this to see.

01:04:11Oh, my God.

01:04:13Three votes for Rico, two votes for Mincy.

01:04:15Jay?

01:04:17Yeah, I think the Green Lantern power itself is better, but I just don't think that Mincy's

01:04:24going to be motivated to save the world.

01:04:29Rico, at least, we know has a first responder type background where he will, he has the ability

01:04:39to kick it into that gear.

01:04:40So, give me Rico.

01:04:41Rico's going to move on.

01:04:42What do you think, if you put Rico into, like, the Dark Knight scenario where he has to save

01:04:45one of the two people and it's LSU football team versus the Ole Miss football team, who

01:04:49do you think he ends up saving?

01:04:51Even Mincy?

01:04:51Yeah.

01:04:51Whoever has the cover, whoever he took.

01:04:54Whoever gave him tickets to the game.

01:04:55Yeah.

01:04:58So, Rico with Ice Powers versus a super intelligent Glenny Balls is a battle for the ages.

01:05:05Jay, let's go into the finals.

01:05:08Hmm.

01:05:09I mean, I feel like Rico can get got.

01:05:16Like, yesterday he got got.

01:05:18Is, I can see a world, if there's a super intelligent person, well, I guess it's tough because Glenny's

01:05:24literally admitting to us he's not going to do shit.

01:05:27He says that now, but he has his intelligence.

01:05:30Correct, yeah.

01:05:30So, he's able to spell cure, presumably.

01:05:36I'm picturing Bradley Cooper Limitless.

01:05:38Like, everything changes.

01:05:39Yeah.

01:05:40Yeah, okay.

01:05:41So, then, yeah.

01:05:41I'm going to go with Glenny Balls just because he would be able to out, like, if you're a

01:05:46superhero type level of intelligence, you can probably outsmart Rico Bosco.

01:05:51I will say, though, if it just, like, heightens his current personality and, like, who he is,

01:05:57it's not heightening his, like, humanity.

01:06:00He's not a tit safe on Earth.

01:06:02Right.

01:06:02He doesn't become this empathetic guy, I don't think.

01:06:05Yeah.

01:06:05That's what worries me.

01:06:06I think he just gets smart but not empathetic.

01:06:08Okay.

01:06:09Right.

01:06:09He's like, that's season three, episode nine of Entourage at the nine-minute mark.

01:06:13It would be huge for the uptown balls.

01:06:15Yeah.

01:06:18See, you're thinking about, like, Captain America where, like, the serum enhances whatever

01:06:22you already are.

01:06:23And he's John Walker.

01:06:24Yeah.

01:06:25Yeah, exactly.

01:06:25He's slicing someone's head off with the Captain America shield and being like, what?

01:06:28I got the shield.

01:06:29Yeah, exactly.

01:06:30So, we are one vote for super intelligent balls.

01:06:33Danny.

01:06:34I like the thought of Glenny just having, like, this big pulsating vein.

01:06:37Yeah, I was thinking that, too.

01:06:38Like, his brain is popping out of his head.

01:06:42I'm taking powerless Rico over super intelligent Glenny today.

01:06:47So, I'm going with Ice.

01:06:49What is it?

01:06:50Ice Rico.

01:06:50Iceman.

01:06:52One vote for Ice Rico.

01:06:53One vote for super intelligent balls.

01:06:54Nick?

01:06:55I need a super intelligent balls because, like, his Instagram stories would be incredible.

01:07:00Every time Glenny learns a new word now, he'll put it on his Instagram story a few times,

01:07:04but, like, in all capital letters for emphasis.

01:07:07Yeah.

01:07:08C-U-R-R.

01:07:11Scrumptious.

01:07:11I ordered some other Glenny word.

01:07:13Like, whenever Glenny learns a new word, it's on his Instagram story, all caps.

01:07:17It's like, I'm trying to think of some right now.

01:07:19I know.

01:07:20I know.

01:07:20I can't think of an example.

01:07:22He's got a few in his repertoire.

01:07:23Disappointable.

01:07:24Yeah.

01:07:24Usually, he's like, how to describe a flute.

01:07:27Yeah.

01:07:27So, his stories would be just incredible.

01:07:29These all caps, beautiful words.

01:07:33I'm going Glen.

01:07:34Two votes for balls.

01:07:36KB.

01:07:36Got to go, Glen.

01:07:38But, yeah, like Robbie said, I don't think just having super intelligence isn't going to

01:07:43give him empathy, morality.

01:07:44It's not going to give him discipline.

01:07:47If he was super intelligent, he would probably feign not having it just to do what he's doing

01:07:55now, because it's the best life.

01:07:57Yes.

01:07:57He would realize that he has the best life on earth.

01:08:00He's just trying to use his little bar.

01:08:01Come on, I'm super intelligent.

01:08:02And he misspelled the word head.

01:08:08It's a picture of his dog with a sticker of Adam Sandler.

01:08:14And it says, it's simply impossible to not say this in my head whenever I'm getting a

01:08:21stare down like this.

01:08:25That's our boy.

01:08:27That's our boy.

01:08:28A misspelling in an Adam Sandler sticker is just that you can't script it better.

01:08:31Okay, so we're all Glenny right now, except for one book for Rico.

01:08:37I believe you are up, Danny.

01:08:40Or, no.

01:08:41Sorry, Che.

01:08:42No, we're all on the other side.

01:08:44Sorry, sorry, sorry.

01:08:45Yeah, I'm going Rico.

01:08:47Again, I view Glenny balls with super intelligence maybe almost a little Dr. Manhattan-ish.

01:08:53Just a big blue Glenny balls just like on Mars.

01:08:57Just thinking, I don't care enough to save them.

01:08:59Like, I think he's like, I know as soon as I save them, they'll start fighting with

01:09:03each other and they'll get mad at me for something, so fuck them.

01:09:06Like, we'll give him shit sometimes and he'll just get quiet and be like, fuck you guys.

01:09:10No, fuck you guys.

01:09:11And it's like, Glenny, come on.

01:09:12We're giving you shit.

01:09:13I think super intelligence makes that worse.

01:09:16I want to be clear.

01:09:16I wasn't even calling Glenny dumb, but Rico is just a nut.

01:09:21You could call Glenny dumb, too.

01:09:22That's fine.

01:09:23Rico is super intelligence.

01:09:24Yeah, but my higher reason is going to be too far.

01:09:27The bigger reason, you guys are underestimating Rico is superpowers.

01:09:30Yeah.

01:09:31I agree.

01:09:31We are three for super intelligent balls, two for Rico ice.

01:09:35I mean, just imagine the peace on Earth if Glenny balls could spell the word head.

01:09:41Just imagine how much better this Earth would be if he knew how to spell head in that Instagram story.

01:09:49I've got to go super intelligent balls.

01:09:52Super intelligent balls is moving into the finals.

01:09:53On the other side, we have super strong Jason Mraz versus controlling the weather, gay black man.

01:10:00Starting with you, Tommy.

01:10:02I've got to go super strong Jason Mraz.

01:10:04Again, I think it's a huge power.

01:10:06It's basically Superman strength.

01:10:08He can't fly and obviously do the vision and all that shit.

01:10:10But still, he's a noble guy, and I think he'd use it for good.

01:10:16So I don't know much about this gay black man, but I'm going with Jason Mraz with super strong.

01:10:21I'm thinking he can jump really high like Hulk.

01:10:23You know what I mean?

01:10:23Just do that.

01:10:24Yeah, I guess because he has strong leg muscles.

01:10:27Except he can't get mad to unleash the power.

01:10:30Hearing a scat unleashes him as the Mraz.

01:10:33Maybe just singing.

01:10:34Maybe just the more he sings, the bigger he gets.

01:10:36The Mraz instead of the Hulk is actually that.

01:10:39The Mraz, yeah.

01:10:41Robbie.

01:10:41I'm going with the Mraz too because if we're taking comic book super strength, I think he could withstand a lot of weather-related incidents.

01:10:50Super strength, I think you could withstand getting struck by lightning.

01:10:53I think you could get picked up by a tornado and tossed down, and you get back up.

01:10:57Maybe you've got a few scratches, but I'm going with the Mraz still.

01:11:00Super strong Mraz, KB?

01:11:01Yeah, I don't think.

01:11:03You said he can not only destroy people, but he can lift buildings.

01:11:09Yeah, give me Mraz.

01:11:10Three votes for Mraz over gay black man.

01:11:13Nick?

01:11:14Gay black man.

01:11:14Again.

01:11:15Gay black man.

01:11:15Mraz in a route, I fear.

01:11:20A problematic route, but yeah, I'm going Mraz.

01:11:23All Mraz right now.

01:11:25Danny?

01:11:26Yeah, if Jason, if this is like a Hulk situation, I think you were saying it earlier, Ken Jack,

01:11:30I can't see Mraz getting mad enough to go Hulk, and that could be a big problem.

01:11:35But nonetheless, if you have super strength, you're still beating.

01:11:38Who was he up against?

01:11:39Gay black man.

01:11:41That's right.

01:11:42I just wanted to hear you say it.

01:11:44Just a regular Gabriel, Gabriel Lackman, right?

01:11:47Gabe, yes.

01:11:48Where are you from again, Ken Jack?

01:11:49Long Island.

01:11:50Yeah, it's got to be your accent or something then.

01:11:52Jay?

01:11:54Yeah, I didn't realize that super strength is like holding up buildings like Hulk type.

01:11:58So if it's that, then Jason Mraz is going to be a force to be reckoned with.

01:12:02So Mraz is going to move on.

01:12:03On the top end, we have mind control Giannis versus super speed Schefter.

01:12:10God damn you, Jay.

01:12:11Jay, you're up.

01:12:13I mean, it doesn't matter how fast you are.

01:12:16If Giannis has mind control, you're in the blender.

01:12:20So give me Giannis.

01:12:22One vote for Giannis.

01:12:23Danny?

01:12:23Much like his spin move.

01:12:24Same.

01:12:25I think Giannis will use his powers for good too.

01:12:27Give me mind control Giannis because Adam Schefter faster doesn't do anything for me really.

01:12:31Two votes for mind control Giannis.

01:12:33Nick?

01:12:34I mean, if he can move faster than Giannis can think.

01:12:36Ooh.

01:12:37Ooh.

01:12:37I didn't conceive of that speed.

01:12:40Wow.

01:12:41Give me Schefter.

01:12:43One vote for super Schefter.

01:12:44KB?

01:12:46What's the best?

01:12:47What can you do the most with insane speed?

01:12:51Punching really, really, really fast.

01:12:53I guess reverse time.

01:12:54Oh, you can run into people?

01:12:55Yeah, you can run through people.

01:12:56That happened in The Boys.

01:12:58True.

01:12:58Ran through them.

01:12:59I still can't see a world where mind control just doesn't overwhelm and stop all.

01:13:06It doesn't.

01:13:07I do like what Nick was saying, though, because if you move faster than they can think, then

01:13:10they're just fucked, right?

01:13:12They're fucked.

01:13:14You could still think, right?

01:13:16Why does it have to?

01:13:17Do you have to be in the same room to read their mind?

01:13:19Also, this isn't a battle between the two.

01:13:22True, true, true.

01:13:23Keep saying that.

01:13:24But, yeah, it's whoever's going to save the earth, so that's true.

01:13:27But still, that's important for whoever he's potentially facing.

01:13:29I think it is.

01:13:30Yeah.

01:13:31Still give me Giannis.

01:13:32Three votes for Giannis, Robbie?

01:13:33I'm going with Giannis, too.

01:13:34Of Che's picks, he's the one that I actually do trust.

01:13:38Like, I kind of agree that I think he would be trustworthy with powers.

01:13:41So, Giannis is going to win.

01:13:42Yeah, he's noble.

01:13:43I'll go Giannis as well.

01:13:44So, Giannis with mind control versus a super strong Jason Mraz to go up in the finals against super intelligent Glennie Balls.

01:13:52What a bracket.

01:13:53I got to go super strong Jason Mraz.

01:13:56I think mind control is powerful, but in like a battle, in like a fight, I mean, I guess if he's controlling Jason Mraz.

01:14:06I would argue there is no battle.

01:14:08There is no fight with mind control.

01:14:10You're like in a battle.

01:14:11Right?

01:14:11There's no battle if he shows up and you're like, mind control.

01:14:14I know, but it's like, what hero do we want representing Earth?

01:14:17I think I want Superman Jason Mraz, I think.

01:14:20It's just hard to conceive of the mind control thing.

01:14:23I'm going to go take a peek at Jason Mraz, what he's been up to.

01:14:26So, you're going to go super strong Jason Mraz, Robbie?

01:14:29I'm going with Giannis.

01:14:30I still think the mind, I think like having a Jedi mind trick in your back pocket is the ultimate trump card.

01:14:36So, oh man, he's not even wearing fedoras anymore.

01:14:39He's wearing snapbacks.

01:14:39That actually changes my perception of him a lot.

01:14:41Mraz in a snapback.

01:14:42I know, he's in his bad boy era.

01:14:44His profile picture is him wearing like, I think a Milwaukee Brewers.

01:14:47No, it's just different M.

01:14:48Like it's just a snap.

01:14:49It's ugly.

01:14:50I hate it.

01:14:51Yeah, it doesn't look right.

01:14:52Yeah.

01:14:52It looks like he's cosplaying Mark Wahlberg.

01:14:54Yeah.

01:14:55KB?

01:14:58Giannis with mind control.

01:14:59I don't see how that wouldn't be the best possible thing.

01:15:02We got a balls response.

01:15:03We got another balls response.

01:15:05Oh boy.

01:15:06Oh my God.

01:15:07All right.

01:15:07I said, I said, the amount of spelling errors.

01:15:10It's crazy.

01:15:11It's like he's drunk.

01:15:12He might be.

01:15:13He might be wasted.

01:15:14What did he say?

01:15:15I said, just name like three things you do on day one.

01:15:17He said, I don't know.

01:15:19Cure cancer.

01:15:20The C in cure is capitalized.

01:15:22Build flying cars.

01:15:24Make transformers.

01:15:25Which, and then he said.

01:15:27Three are almost the same thing.

01:15:28Then he said, shitty superpower.

01:15:30I have no idea.

01:15:31Idea superpower.

01:15:33It's spelled P-O-W-R-R.

01:15:36And idea is spelled I-D-D-A.

01:15:39Jesus Christ, balls.

01:15:41How does his phone even do that?

01:15:42It's harder to do that than to spell the word right.

01:15:48Yeah, right?

01:15:49He must have it off, right?

01:15:50He has to have it.

01:15:51I asked him if he's drunk.

01:15:52He's got too cocky.

01:15:57So we have three votes for Giannis.

01:15:59One vote for Mraz.

01:16:01Nick?

01:16:02I think these guys are like titans.

01:16:04These are strong, damn near unbeatable beasts.

01:16:09And I just think it now comes down to who would not be tempted by evil.

01:16:14And I think Mraz is a purer heart than Giannis.

01:16:18That's fair.

01:16:19We are two to two right now.

01:16:21Danny?

01:16:22I mean, we're going off about mind control, but Professor X took some L's.

01:16:25You know, he's not undefeated.

01:16:27And I feel like you could sneak attack him.

01:16:29Like the strongest man comes up right behind you.

01:16:31You knock out the guy with mind control.

01:16:33You got the upper hand now.

01:16:34I'm going to go strong Jason Mraz because I do want him representing America as well.

01:16:39So you can either send Mraz home.

01:16:40It felt like an unnecessary shot at the happy or the handicapped community.

01:16:44Yeah, right.

01:16:44Why?

01:16:45Professor X.

01:16:46Professor X taking L's?

01:16:47I think they had to buff him in the comic books and put him in a chair.

01:16:50Or else you've been too strong.

01:16:52So you can either send Mraz home or tie it up for Giannis.

01:16:56What are you going to do, Steve?

01:16:59I mean, this is a guy who, obviously he's a multi-multi-millionaire hundreds of times over.

01:17:06However, this guy has a blowjob bell and he is unable to control minds.

01:17:12Here's how the fight with, who is he fighting?

01:17:16Jason Mraz.

01:17:17Jason Mraz.

01:17:18Super strong.

01:17:19Doesn't even develop.

01:17:20Jason Mraz is sucking Giannis' dick.

01:17:24Settles it.

01:17:25Yeah, I guess that settles it.

01:17:26Tommy, generate that on chat.

01:17:28He's not eating.

01:17:29Hey, that's a pain.

01:17:31Giannis won't be using his powers for good.

01:17:32Yeah, he's forcing Jason Mraz.

01:17:35Super strong Jason Mraz.

01:17:36I feel like Jason would.

01:17:38He is bisexual, by the way.

01:17:40I just found that out.

01:17:41Jason Mraz is?

01:17:42Yeah, I just found that in the movie.

01:17:44You learn something new about Mraz every day.

01:17:46Mm-hmm.

01:17:47The remedy.

01:17:49Another penis.

01:17:50Yes.

01:17:50So, it is tied up between Giannis with mind control and Jason Mraz with super strength.

01:18:00I think I like the idea of super, I like the idea of mind control Giannis, but I think

01:18:07I like Mraz better.

01:18:07Like, the idea of him in that fedora.

01:18:10Yeah.

01:18:11Super, like, buffed out.

01:18:12Yeah.

01:18:13And I love the idea of him having to fight Glennie Balls with super strength.

01:18:16Trying to get the buy vote.

01:18:17There's a great Titans in the finals.

01:18:18Then ChadGBT isn't playing ball right now.

01:18:23Glennie, by the way, confirmed sober, or at least he says.

01:18:26He says, completely sober.

01:18:27I don't understand what, like, a good answer to this question would be.

01:18:31And it is funny from his perspective, getting these insane off-the-wall questions.

01:18:36Depending on how this vote goes, you may end up having to FaceTime him.

01:18:39Yeah.

01:18:39So, finals matchup.

01:18:41Starting with you, Che.

01:18:44Jason Mraz with super strength versus a super intelligent Glennie Balls.

01:18:48I mean, you've got to think outside the box with Balls.

01:18:54His powers are truly going to be limitless.

01:18:56Is the will there?

01:18:57Probably not.

01:18:59But the potential is through the roof, so give me Glennie Balls.

01:19:02One vote for Glennie Balls.

01:19:04Danny?

01:19:05Yeah, just for selfish reasons, I would just like to give Glennie the assignment.

01:19:09Like, we're giving you super intelligence.

01:19:11Like, we want to see what you do with it.

01:19:13So, Glennie Balls.

01:19:14That would be fun to, like, test it out on Glennie.

01:19:16Oh, yeah.

01:19:16Yeah.

01:19:17He just built a bunch of Transformers.

01:19:20Yeah.

01:19:21And flying cars for some reason that aren't the Transformers.

01:19:25Yeah.

01:19:26Every woman on Earth has double D's.

01:19:28Yeah.

01:19:29He has a spray that enhances it.

01:19:31Two of his three things that he would do with unlimited intelligence was like, I don't know, make cars different?

01:19:35Yeah.

01:19:36But he did cure cancer.

01:19:38He said he wasn't going to be noble.

01:19:40Yeah, true.

01:19:40Two votes for Glennie Balls.

01:19:42Nick?

01:19:44Come on.

01:19:45It's Balls with super intelligence.

01:19:47He'd be unstoppable.

01:19:48He's damn near unstoppable now.

01:19:50That's a great point.

01:19:52Three votes for Glennie Balls.

01:19:53KB?

01:19:53So, if he would have the scientific and, like, he would have the knowledge to build cars and Transformers, but would he actually build?

01:20:05He still would have to build and do labor.

01:20:07I think he'd build, like, robots to do it all for him or something.

01:20:09Like, that's how they do it sometimes.

01:20:10You could do that.

01:20:10In Conco Quobies.

01:20:16Glennie, he might not change anything.

01:20:21Give me Balls.

01:20:27Another vote for Balls.

01:20:28Listen, I think I voted against him in every round of this thing, but listen, time comes for us all.

01:20:35He's defeated me.

01:20:36He's defeated Miraz.

01:20:38He's defeated everyone, I think.

01:20:39I've got to go Glennie Balls.

01:20:40Another for Balls.

01:20:41You know how Superman will just, like, rip open his shirt and you see the S when Glennie gets his powers?

01:20:47He just undoes one button on his shirt.

01:20:50It's on his Balls Beachwear.

01:20:50On the Balls Beachwear, yeah.

01:20:52You can already see.

01:20:54Yeah, it's got to be super intelligent balls.

01:20:56You see his Sunday chain?

01:20:57Yeah.

01:20:58He's going to occur cancer.

01:20:59Should we give Glennie Balls a FaceTime to congratulate him?

01:21:02Sure, yeah.

01:21:03Give him a FaceTime.

01:21:03Yeah.

01:21:04He can't do anything.

01:21:04I'll just call him.

01:21:05Yeah, dude, put it on, like, one end of the phone into your headset, if that makes sense,

01:21:09so they can hear.

01:21:11I'll just put him on speaker.

01:21:13Oh, so he can hear them.

01:21:14The mic will be able to hear.

01:21:15Let me interview busty women on an audio-based format.

01:21:21Hey, Glenn, you're on a podcast right now.

01:21:23Great to hear from you.

01:21:24What's up?

01:21:25What do you want about the superpower thing?

01:21:28I don't understand what you're even asking.

01:21:29Me, Robbie, Ken Jack, KB, Nick, Danny Conrad, and Steven Che, we were having a bracket of

01:21:37random people with superpowers.

01:21:39You were gifted super intelligence, and we just dubbed you as Earth's Mightiest Hero.

01:21:44You just beat super strong Jason Mraz.

01:21:47We were just saying...

01:21:48Okay, great.

01:21:49We were just saying we think that a super intelligent you would be Earth's finest hero.

01:21:54I can truly say I don't know one thing I would do with a super intelligence.

01:21:58You'd, you know, ask really insightful questions on only stands.

01:22:04Yeah, I really don't understand how that would really be a good superpower, but, like I said,

01:22:10maybe cancer would be nice.

01:22:11That would be cool.

01:22:12Like, Tony Stark.

01:22:13Tony Stark has super intelligence.

01:22:15That's his power, you would say.

01:22:18Like, what, Robbie, what famous hero has super intelligence?

01:22:21Like, fucking...

01:22:21Tell him Tony Stark.

01:22:23Tony Stark.

01:22:24Okay, so if I'm Iron Man, that would be cool, yeah.

01:22:27All right.

01:22:28All right.

01:22:29Thanks, Galantos.

01:22:32I don't understand.

01:22:33All right.

01:22:34I just can't.

01:22:35I just don't.

01:22:35What is that even mean?

01:22:37How would being super intelligent be good?

01:22:41He's arguing with us.

01:22:43This is a stupid fucking power you gave me.

01:22:45How is that a power?

01:22:47Dude, he can't be the world's smartest man.

01:22:49He did concede that being Iron Man would be cool.

01:22:52Cool.

01:22:53He did.

01:22:53Yeah.

01:22:54He's basically saying, what would the difference be?

01:22:56Yeah.

01:22:57Dude, he can't even, like, conceptualize being very smart.

01:23:01Like, he's like, I don't understand it.

01:23:02I can't understand being smart.

01:23:03What do you mean?

01:23:04Like, what perks would that ever have?

01:23:06Yeah.

01:23:07That's what he was saying.

01:23:08I don't understand how you could save the Earth with super intelligence.

01:23:13Yeah.

01:23:13I think you're right, Nick.

01:23:15Like, he would, like, curse himself and want to go back to his old life.

01:23:18Yes.

01:23:19He would just try to invent a machine that would revert him.

01:23:21Yeah.

01:23:22That would make him dumber.

01:23:23Yeah.

01:23:23All right.

01:23:24I'm still waiting.

01:23:25It's taking too long.

01:23:26If I get the Jason Mrazzi on this one.

01:23:28I'll put it in the video.

01:23:29But, yeah.

01:23:30So, the winner of the Bracket 181 is a super intelligent Glennie Balls, the ultimate savior

01:23:34of Earth.

01:23:35I think I would love to see it.

01:23:39Yeah, of course.

01:23:39If we could put a chip in Glennie's brain just for a week and, like, make him super intelligent,

01:23:42I would just love to see the wonders that would come out of his brain.

01:23:44Outside of, I guess, just Transformers and flying cars.

01:23:48Yeah, but this isn't super intelligent Glennie Balls yet.

01:23:51True.

01:23:52True.

01:23:52He'd be thinking of something.

01:23:53We don't know.

01:23:53So, we'll see you guys next week with a new topic.

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