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Episode name - Last Christmas
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00:00Bells, can we go on a coffee run?
00:09I thought you said you had to get at least a B on your media ethics midterm or you were so screwed.
00:17Fine. You are no fun.
00:19Mm-hmm.
00:23Wait, what's this important flight update for Cabo?
00:28Since when are you going to Cabo?
00:30Yeah, I told you about the last minute flight of boats.
00:34I think I would have remembered you going to Mexico.
00:36Oh, well, Bells, this is my last spring break and you're going to be in Philly, so...
00:40Yeah, but we said we might meet up in Cousins, and I thought you were trying to spend more time with your dad.
00:46Okay, don't try to guilt trip me about my dad. I just saw him last weekend.
00:50Did something happen with you guys? You've been kind of moody since then.
00:55Something worse than visiting my dead mom's grave? No.
00:58Hey, okay, that's... that's not fair. I just... I think you're being a little bit selfish.
01:05Okay, I'm sorry. Can you just stop riding me? If you want to come to Cabo, then just come.
01:09No, I don't want to crash your boys' trip.
01:12It's not just boys. The sororities are going, too.
01:13Oh, so girls were invited, just not girlfriends. Cool.
01:17Look, I promise I'm not interested in whatever wet t-shirt contest or whatever it is that you're picturing.
01:22It's not that.
01:23Then what is it?
01:24What is wrong with you right now? You're the one who didn't even tell me that you're leaving the country.
01:27Yeah, because you hate anything having to do with frats.
01:30When did I ever say that?
01:31You don't have to. I can feel you judging us.
01:33Sorry if I'm a dumbass who's probably going to bomb his midterm.
01:36Sorry if I want to have a little fun at spring break.
01:38And I'm sorry that I'm not some straight-A overachiever going to med school like Conrad.
01:41Oh, my God. What? Please...
01:44Please don't put your inferiority complex on me.
01:47I wonder where that came from.
01:48Well, it didn't start with me, so maybe look at your dad.
01:51Wow.
01:53Well, if you think I'm so stupid and selfish, then why are you even with me?
01:56Fuck it. I'm gonna waste your time.
01:57You're being ridiculous right now.
01:59You think everything I do is ridiculous, and I'm sick of it.
02:01So let's just end it.
02:03Are you serious?
02:04Yes, I'm serious.
02:05Okay, fine. If that's how you feel...
02:07It is.
02:07Great. Okay, awesome. Bye.
02:09Bye.
02:12I went home for spring break, and we still hadn't talked.
02:18I can't believe it's been five days and he still hasn't texted me.
02:22Haven't you also not texted him?
02:25Yeah, but he's the one who picked the fight out of nowhere.
02:28Why don't you just come with me to New York for a couple of days?
02:31We can, like, run around the city after I crush my interview.
02:34I'm too depressed.
02:36Stop looking at Instagram.
02:37I just still don't even know what the hell happened.
02:40See?
02:42Okay, I'm heading out!
02:43Bye, Mom!
02:45Well, the good news is he looks emotionally destroyed.
02:48I mean, I knew he was down about his grades, but I...
02:51Just stop obsessing.
02:53You want to know what's going on?
02:54Why don't you ask him?
02:55Yeah, but he's the one who...
02:56Just talk to him when he gets back.
02:58Guys are like dogs.
02:59They hide when they've screwed up.
03:01And even the world's best boyfriend is gonna fuck up sometimes.
03:04You know he feels bad about it.
03:06Like, it's Jer.
03:07You're his oxygen.
03:08He can't breathe without you.
03:09I really thought Taylor was right.
03:18So when we got back to school, I went to see him.
03:22Are you really not gonna come find me?
03:24I mean, you pick a fight, walk out the door, and I don't hear from you for a week?
03:28I'm a total asshole, Billy.
03:30I fucked up, and I fucked up really bad.
03:32Hey, no, it's okay.
03:34I'm sorry.
03:36No.
03:38No, it's not.
03:39I had a shitty week, and I took it out on you.
03:43I'm just sorry.
03:44I'm sorry, Billy.
03:45Look, I mean...
03:46We had a fight.
03:49It's not the end of the world.
03:53What does this mean?
03:55Does this mean you want to get back together?
03:58We never stopped being together.
04:04Billy, when I was in Cabo, I-I thought...
04:11I just thought we were...
04:20I just can't believe I almost lost you over something so stupid.
04:25You could never lose me.
04:26I got you this.
04:39I was just on the beach, and I was just thinking about you.
04:41I didn't even know if you were ever to talk again, but...
04:43It's really stupid, and you don't have to wear it.
04:46No.
04:47I love it.
04:51I love you.
04:52I love you.
04:52I love you.
05:22Taylor's here.
05:38I'm asleep.
05:39Got it.
05:45She's asleep.
05:46Okay, I just want to talk to her.
05:48I think she should rest right now.
05:50Okay.
05:51It's fine.
05:52This is a breakfast burrito, extra crispy bacon, the way she likes it.
05:55Just make sure she eats something.
05:57Okay.
05:59Bye.
06:06Belly, I-I swear, I obviously had no idea about Lacey.
06:10You know I would have killed them both for you, okay?
06:13Please just call me back.
06:14Like, just call me back.
06:17Uh, no, I wouldn't get any closer unless you want your balls cut off.
06:20Please just tell me how she is.
06:21I don't know.
06:22She won't talk to me either.
06:23Your side chick is in my sorority, so now I'm just, like, guilty by association.
06:27Taylor, please hear me out.
06:28No, I have always been on your side.
06:30I was the freaking CEO of Team Jeremiah now to find out that you're the scummy little fucking hot tub cheater.
06:34It's insane.
06:35I didn't cheat.
06:36We were on a break.
06:37No, that's bullshit.
06:38You're not getting off on this, like, technicality.
06:41You were broken up for all of two seconds, Jeremiah.
06:44And then you got her this, like, cheap-ass puka shell bracelet to make it up to her.
06:48Like, what are you doing?
06:49What are you thinking?
06:50What, you're the expert on cheating now, huh?
06:52Excuse me?
06:52You heard me.
06:54How are Davis and Mia?
06:56Don't turn it around on me.
06:58You were supposed to be the ideal.
07:00You were supposed to deserve her.
07:02But you don't, and you probably never did.
07:07Can you get out of here?
07:19Hey, this is Taylor.
07:20Leave a message.
07:24Adam called you in for this meeting, too, huh?
07:27Yep.
07:27Yeah.
07:28Fine way to spend a Sunday.
07:30Sitting in the background while the grown-ups talk.
07:33Did you, uh, get to the dossier I sent you on Friday?
07:35Yep.
07:37Yep, yep, yep, yeah, yeah.
07:39So you saw at StarrcadeX?
07:43StarrcadeX, like, like, the gaming startup?
07:45Oh, my God, I knew you were a gamer.
07:46Jesus, be a bigger nerd cliche, please.
07:48Okay, no.
07:49No, relax.
07:50All right, I used to program that shit.
07:52Computer engineering at Princeton?
07:54Right.
07:54Remember?
07:54Yes, how could I forget it is in your email signature?
07:58Mm-hmm.
07:59Look, just do me a favor, all right?
08:01Read the dossier, and then call your girlfriend, okay?
08:06Yeah, well, I actually, um, I actually broke up with my girlfriend.
08:11That was, uh, that was my ex.
08:13Well, ex?
08:14Ex?
08:14Oh, my God, no, no, no.
08:15Stop.
08:16Immediately, no.
08:17I'm, no personal stuff, all right?
08:19I'm not the co-worker who's going to be invested in your little dramas.
08:23I don't care.
08:25Yeah.
08:27All right, um, StarrcadeX?
08:30Every VC shop is going to try to move on this company, all right?
08:32So we really need to be on the ball with us.
08:34Copy.
08:35Copy.
08:36Got you.
09:19We have to make it to the library, one thing at a time.
09:23Yeah, but everything leads to him.
09:27Like, I can't just study.
09:30I also have to call and quit my summer job,
09:33because obviously I'm not going to be in Cousins,
09:37because Jeremiah.
09:39And then I have to figure out how to tell my mom
09:41that I can't bring myself to go to Susanna's memorial,
09:45because, again, Jeremiah.
09:46And I might never even go to the summer house again,
09:50because of fucking Jeremiah.
09:51So, okay, one thing at a time is not going to work for you.
09:54No, no, nothing's going to work,
09:56because everything is...
09:57Oh, my God.
09:59Hey, you're going to be okay.
10:06I'll meet you after a study group.
10:08It's not just Lacey I can't avoid.
10:11I see Jeremiah everywhere.
10:13Hung all my clothes in the closet you made.
10:17Even when he isn't really there.
10:19She's filling in boxes, I send them your way.
10:21Hoping life brings you no new pain.
10:26I rearrange my memories.
10:30I try to rewrite my life.
10:33But no matter how I try to
10:39And no matter how I want to
10:46And no matter how easy things could be
10:53If I did
10:55And no matter how guilty I still feel
11:00Everywhere I go, there's a memory of us
11:19From when we were golden.
11:22Everybody.
11:22Down.
11:25A beautiful down.
11:26Rose is very cute.
11:27I couldn't live in there at all.
11:30So...
11:32I just need to not be here.
11:45Hi.
11:46Mom, hi.
11:47Um, quick question.
11:48Can you send me my birth certificate?
11:50Overnight, if possible?
11:52Hello to you too, my loving daughter.
11:54I'm fine, thanks for asking.
11:55How are you?
11:56Sorry.
11:57How are you, Mom?
11:58I had an extremely dull conference,
12:00Which means I am nowhere near your birth certificate.
12:03What do you need it for, anyway?
12:05A passport.
12:06I found out I got off the wait list for Paris.
12:11That's fantastic.
12:12Honey, congratulations.
12:16How's JR taking it?
12:17I know he'll miss you, but he must be so proud.
12:20Yeah.
12:21Um, Mom, I gotta go.
12:23Okay.
12:25Love you.
12:30Bro.
12:32You're tweaking.
12:32You need to...
12:33Pfft.
12:34Level out.
12:35Try something to see when the guy got.
12:37May help ease the pain.
12:39I just lost the most important person in my life.
12:42Sorry if I don't have the energy to be alive.
12:44Oh, you don't think I know about breakups?
12:45I know about breakups.
12:46You saw me after Sean.
12:48You two were together for two seconds, Redbird.
12:50Felt like something to me.
12:51I can't believe I fucked it up this bad.
12:54Dude, I-I-I dig your girl.
12:56I really do.
12:57And I say this with love, but...
12:59You two were broken up.
13:01Right?
13:01And you were wasted as hell.
13:03And Lacey was all over your shit.
13:04Bro, it's not an excuse.
13:06I should have told her as soon as I got back.
13:08Yeah.
13:10Yeah, probably.
13:10Probably.
13:11Belly's been the center of my world
13:23since I lost my mom.
13:29She's everything to me.
13:32And losing her feels like...
13:35It feels like I'm-I'm losing
13:39the best part of myself.
13:42That's beautiful, man.
13:48So fight for her.
13:50Stop saying you're sorry.
13:51Find a way to show her.
13:55Make it sound so easy.
13:57I don't think it's supposed to be.
13:58I just can't believe it.
14:04He acts so devoted,
14:06but he's just as shady as the rest.
14:08I swear, if he comes to our dorm,
14:10it's on sight.
14:11Don't smile, please.
14:13That won't be a problem.
14:14Kind of sucks you're not leaving
14:15for Paris tomorrow.
14:18Do you think I'm being too hard on him?
14:20Look,
14:21if you really thought
14:24you were broken up,
14:26technically it's not cheating,
14:27but to keep it a secret?
14:30That tells me he knew
14:31what he did was wrong
14:32and he chose to keep it from you.
14:34That's the part I can't get over.
14:38What Annika didn't know
14:39was that I had a secret too.
14:43It was the day after Christmas last year.
14:46My mom was at a writer's retreat,
14:48Steven was visiting friends,
14:49Jair was going skiing
14:50with his dad and Conrad.
14:52I figured,
14:53why be home alone
14:54when I could be at
14:55my favorite place in the world?
14:56So I borrowed Steven's car
14:58and went to Cousins.
15:06Shit.
15:08Shit, shit, shit.
15:10Oh my God.
15:11Okay, what would Kevin do?
15:12What would Kevin do?
15:14Okay.
15:15Okay.
15:15Oh my God.
15:18Oh.
15:21Steven, open up.
15:30It's me.
15:36Belly.
15:37You okay?
15:39Yeah.
15:40Yeah, sorry.
15:41Just the flash got to me.
15:43Okay.
15:44Next.
15:45Next.
15:45Belly.
15:58No, please don't leave.
15:59I made the biggest mistake
16:00of my life.
16:01Please just talk to me.
16:04Look, I'll tell you anything.
16:06I'll tell you anything.
16:06I just don't want
16:07any more secrets between us.
16:10Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:11Okay.
16:13How did it happen?
16:18I was really sad.
16:19I was drunk.
16:22She was just there.
16:26How many times?
16:32Twice.
16:35Jared, how could you do this to me?
16:37Belly, please.
16:38I know I don't deserve you,
16:40but I love you more
16:40than anyone else in the world,
16:42and it kills me to see you hurting
16:43and I would do anything
16:44to take it back.
16:45Stop.
16:46You can't undo what you did.
16:48Belly, please.
16:50I'm sorry.
16:51I'm so sorry.
16:51I've never loved anyone but you.
16:54I love him too
16:55and I want to forgive him.
16:58I just don't know how.
17:02You were supposed to be
17:03the one person
17:04who would never hurt me
17:05and are you the person
17:08who hurt me the most?
17:19Laurel.
17:21Elliot.
17:22Hey.
17:22Hey.
17:24Oh, fancy books you got there.
17:26Oh, yeah.
17:26You know, well,
17:27I've already read the Moncrief translation twice,
17:29so...
17:29As one does.
17:30Yeah.
17:31Yeah, I've decided
17:32it's the year
17:33that I finally read
17:34A La Recherche du Temps Perdue
17:35in the original French.
17:38Go for it.
17:39Live on the edge.
17:41You know, um,
17:42you and I,
17:43we could start our own book group
17:44if, uh,
17:45if you're interested.
17:47Unfortunately,
17:47Professor Park dropped out of French
17:49her first year of college.
17:51John?
17:52What are you doing here?
17:53Open up a word with you.
17:54In private.
17:56Professor.
17:57Okay.
17:59See you later, Elliot.
18:00Uh, sure.
18:02Yeah.
18:02Um,
18:03I'll be at the, uh,
18:04Flaubert Symposium
18:05if you want to drop by.
18:06Okay.
18:07Sounds great.
18:08Okay.
18:11What was that?
18:13So,
18:13TAs are allowed to flirt
18:14with professors now?
18:15He's an adjunct,
18:16and maybe I was flirting back.
18:18Well, then I was doing him a favor.
18:20You'd have eaten him alive
18:21in, well, five minutes.
18:22What's a history professor
18:23doing at a lit conference anyway?
18:24Researching potential crossover courses.
18:27Our provost is looking for ways
18:28to make history sexy again.
18:31And a lit conference
18:32is definitely the way to do that.
18:34Shoot me, Dad.
18:35Please make your way
18:36into Ballroom B
18:37for tropes of old English
18:39epic poetry.
18:44That sounds...
18:45Worrying as shit.
18:46Yeah.
18:48Okay.
18:51New plan.
18:53We find somewhere to drink this.
18:54Steal a wine opener.
18:55I can't do that.
18:56Pull your weight.
19:12Okay.
19:13Welcome to day one.
19:15By the end of the summer,
19:17I expect half of you
19:18will still be here.
19:19Don't piss me off,
19:20and we'll be fine.
19:23Okay.
19:24First patient.
19:25We have a 15-year-old boy
19:27came in following a seizure.
19:29Any thoughts
19:29on what might be going on?
19:32I want to start off
19:33with our first years.
19:34What do you say?
19:35Well, it could...
19:37Uh...
19:38It could be puberty hormones.
19:40He's 15.
19:41Uh, could also...
19:41He's also recovering
19:42from the flu,
19:43and fevers are the most common
19:44cause of seizures at his age.
19:46Very good.
19:47They also gave him
19:47nausea meds at the ER,
19:49and that does increase risk.
19:50Good catch.
19:52Sometimes it's just
19:53the obvious answer.
19:54Absolutely.
19:55Thank you, Dr. Namazi.
19:56I'll keep that in mind.
19:57Okay.
19:58Next patient.
20:00Are you trying to make me
20:01the med student
20:02that gets cut on day one?
20:03I'm sure it's just a mess.
20:04It's fine.
20:05I'll take that.
20:05I'll make it up
20:06in the next one.
20:07Look, I know that
20:08climbing up Namazi's ass
20:09is just a coping mechanism
20:10for your all-consuming love
20:11for your brother's girlfriend.
20:12Why did I tell you that?
20:12Because you were, like,
20:14yearning to.
20:16Whatever.
20:17The safest place
20:18to hang out
20:19at an academic conference
20:20is in the hotel gym.
20:22Nice!
20:23Give me your phone.
20:24Mine's dead,
20:25and I want to call the kids.
20:26It's in my room.
20:27Also, the kids are fine.
20:28Also, you're upside down.
20:30Yes.
20:30Yes, I am.
20:31What are you doing?
20:37Getting some things
20:38off my chest.
20:39Why did I ask?
20:41You know,
20:42even though our marriage
20:43went to shit,
20:44we ended up being
20:45pretty good co-parents.
20:48Yes, we did.
20:53Oh, my God.
20:54I just remembered.
20:56Belly called me today
20:57to say she is studying abroad
20:59next semester
21:00in Paris.
21:01Oh, do you know
21:03how the Parisian police
21:04found Quasimodo?
21:06They followed a hunch.
21:09Please never tell
21:10that joke again.
21:11You used to love my jokes.
21:13You used to laugh so hard
21:14beer would come out your nose.
21:15In fact,
21:16wasn't that why you slept
21:17with me on our first date?
21:18I was fake laughing,
21:19and I planned to sleep
21:20with you all along.
21:23You did?
21:26Mind if I work in?
21:26No, it's all yours.
21:29We're done here.
21:30Appreciate it.
21:30Why are you here?
21:47What are you...
21:47You haven't responded
21:48to my text all day.
21:50It's finals.
21:51It's a stressful time.
21:53Tay, are you okay?
21:54What's wrong?
21:54I'm hungry.
21:58Okay, then let's
22:00just grab some food.
22:01Come on, get in.
22:06Okay.
22:06So, uh...
22:23Uh, where do you want
22:26to go eat?
22:28I don't know.
22:29What?
22:40Uh...
22:40I broke up with Mia.
22:47I hope you didn't
22:48do that for me.
22:50What?
22:53Uh, sorry.
22:55I just...
22:57I thought you'd be happy
22:58that I just wanted
22:59to be with you.
23:00But after the other night,
23:01sleeping over...
23:02Steven, I...
23:03You're wrong.
23:04And I've told you before,
23:05I just want this
23:05to be casual.
23:06Okay, it's never casual
23:08with you and me.
23:09Taylor, you know that.
23:10Let's just stop
23:11fucking around, you know,
23:12and do it for real
23:13so we don't keep
23:13hurting other people.
23:14They don't even know about us.
23:15That doesn't matter.
23:15It's still messed up.
23:18Taylor, I want you and me
23:19to have a fresh start,
23:20you know, free
23:20and clear and clean.
23:22Steven, we've tried before.
23:24We've tried a million times.
23:25We were kids then.
23:25It doesn't...
23:25We don't work.
23:26It never works.
23:27Taylor, you are the only girl
23:28I want to be with.
23:30I'm telling you.
23:31I think I love you.
23:32Stop, stop.
23:32No, don't...
23:33I can't do this.
23:34What are you talking...
23:35Can you pull over
23:36and let me out
23:37of the fucking car?
23:37Taylor, no.
23:38Taylor, I need you
23:38to listen to me, please.
23:39That's all I'm asking for.
23:40Steven, please just
23:40let me out of the car.
23:41We're in the middle
23:42of the road, Taylor.
23:42I don't care.
23:43I want to leave.
23:44Pull over and let me
23:46out of the fucking car.
23:47Fine, fine, fine.
23:49Fuck.
23:49Here, I'm pulling over, okay?
23:57Taylor, what the fuck?
24:14Taylor, I told you
24:15I don't want...
24:17Oh, my God.
24:22Taylor.
24:23Hi.
24:26I'm really sorry.
24:28What happened?
24:29Were you with him
24:30or you were hurt?
24:32What happened?
24:33I wasn't in the car.
24:35Okay.
24:36We were arguing.
24:39I jumped out
24:41and he was trying
24:42to come after me.
24:43Okay.
24:46What?
24:47It's just my fault.
24:55No, no, no,
24:56it's not your fault.
24:58Yes, it is.
25:00You're with
25:00Steven Conklin?
25:01Yeah, yeah.
25:02Is he okay?
25:03Initial scans show
25:04a cracked rib
25:05and a cerebral contusion.
25:07Cerebral contusion?
25:09It's a bruise on the brain.
25:10We won't know
25:11how serious it is
25:12until the swelling goes down.
25:13Until then,
25:14we'll keep him sedated.
25:15So we just wait and see?
25:17Is that it?
25:17There's some paperwork
25:18to fill out
25:19and someone will need
25:20to make decisions
25:21on his behalf.
25:21Can that be one of you?
25:23I'm his sister.
25:24His sister works.
25:25Okay.
25:26Um, what kind of decisions
25:27do I...
25:28It's in the paperwork there.
25:32Uh-huh.
25:33I need to try my parents again.
25:36I couldn't...
25:36Okay, I will try them.
25:38I will do it.
25:40I don't know
25:41Steven's fucking insurance
25:42if he's on our parents' insurance
25:43or his job.
25:44How am I supposed
25:45to know his fucking blood type?
25:47I think...
25:47I think I remember Steven
25:48bragging about being
25:50a universal donor.
25:51Of course,
25:52you didn't brag about anything.
25:56Okay.
25:57He...
25:57O-negative.
25:58He's O-negative.
26:00Okay.
26:01I'm gonna try your parents again.
26:02Okay.
26:02I don't...
26:03I think I should, uh,
26:05let a few other people know
26:06what to...
26:08You want me to call Jer?
26:09I don't know
26:13how we're going.
26:14I wanted to throw up
26:15thinking about him,
26:15but now I just...
26:17I just wish he was here.
26:21He would know what to say
26:22to make me feel better.
26:27I'm gonna be your Jer today.
26:30Okay, we'll track down your parents.
26:32I will call Jer's dumbass, too.
26:34Okay.
26:34Just...
26:35Just fill out the paperwork
26:37and leave the rest to me.
26:38I'm gonna do it.
26:40Um, can you call, uh,
26:42Conrad, too,
26:42because he just might
26:43understand what
26:45all this means?
26:46I got you.
26:47I'm gonna call Conrad.
26:52Well, I'll hop on the next flight.
26:54No, it's fine.
26:55Laurel and John
26:55will probably be here by then.
26:56Okay.
26:58Well,
26:59tell me what the doctor
27:00said exactly.
27:01Uh, he's kind of a dick.
27:02He basically blew us off.
27:03We're trying to get updates,
27:04but...
27:04Well, maybe I can help.
27:05Where's he admitted?
27:07We're at, um,
27:07Providence...
27:08Providence General,
27:09but how?
27:11I will figure it out.
27:14I just want to do something.
27:18Hey, how's Belly?
27:20She's fine.
27:21Yeah?
27:21Okay.
27:22Yeah.
27:23Yeah, great.
27:24Okay.
27:26Well, just keep me updated, okay?
27:27Yep, will do.
27:28All right.
27:29Dr. Namazi?
27:32Excuse me.
27:34What's up?
27:35A friend of mine
27:36was in a car accident.
27:38Uh, very close friend,
27:39more like family,
27:40and he's at Providence General.
27:43Is there any chance
27:44you know anyone
27:45in neurology there?
27:46The head of neurology
27:47is a friend of a friend.
27:48Well, his name is Stephen Conklin.
27:50Do you think there's
27:50any possible way
27:52that you could make a call?
27:55I'll see what I can do.
27:59Do you think
27:59you need to take the day?
28:03Uh, no.
28:05I'm good.
28:06Okay.
28:29Jared's in the lobby.
28:38Yeah, I know, babe.
28:40He just wants to be nearby
28:41if we need him.
28:42He's not gonna come
28:43try and talk to you
28:43or anything.
28:45That's so sweet.
28:47Why does he have
28:48to be so sweet?
28:50Should I text him?
28:51Isabel Conklin?
28:58I'm Dr. Joon Kwon.
28:59I head up the neurology team.
29:00I'm taking over
29:01your brother's case.
29:02Does that mean
29:03he's gotten worse?
29:03No, it means someone
29:05well-connected
29:05is looking out for you.
29:06I got a call
29:08from a colleague
29:09at Stanford.
29:11Steven is sedated
29:12and sleeping.
29:12He's stable
29:13and I've ordered
29:14a CT scan.
29:15Have you seen him yet?
29:17Well, let's get you
29:18back there.
29:18We allow two visitors,
29:20immediate family only,
29:21so I'll presume
29:22this is Steven's
29:23other sister.
29:24Follow me.
29:25Any news on your friend?
29:35No.
29:36You sure you shouldn't
29:37just go out there?
29:38I don't even know
29:39what I'd do if I did.
29:40It's not like I'm a doctor yet.
29:42Plus, we barely talked
29:43over the last few years.
29:46No cell phones?
29:48Yeah.
29:49How did everything go
29:50with those blood draws?
29:51Good.
29:52Great.
29:55This is mislabeled.
30:00Oh, that's, uh,
30:01that's mine.
30:02That's my mistake.
30:03A mistake that put
30:03your patient at risk.
30:05I'll fix it right now.
30:05You should have gone home
30:06when I gave you the chance.
30:07It won't happen again.
30:08No, it won't.
30:10You're done here.
30:11You're not ready for this.
30:14You're firing me
30:15for one mistake?
30:16Dr. Namazi, please,
30:18I didn't...
30:18You may see this
30:18as one mistake,
30:20but this is about you
30:21not knowing your limits,
30:22which makes you
30:23a walking liability,
30:24my liability.
30:25Dr. Namazi, I didn't...
30:27No.
30:28You can always
30:28apply again next year.
30:30Scruggers to OR4,
30:31we don't need more
30:32Scruggers to OR4,
30:34we don't need more
30:34Scruggers to OR4,
30:35we don't need more
30:35to start taking...
30:36Steven, can I tell you
30:54a secret?
30:55I've never loved anyone
30:57like I love you.
31:02Do you know how scary
31:03that is?
31:09I know I act like
31:10I don't care,
31:12but I just...
31:12I care so, so much.
31:19And I'm always afraid
31:20that it's just a matter
31:21of time before you come
31:22to me and you tell me
31:22that I'm not worth it.
31:24You're just gonna be like,
31:26actually, you're not worth it.
31:40So I figured if I just keep
31:42pushing you away
31:43and pretend that you don't
31:44mean anything to me,
31:46then you can't hurt me.
31:47and I don't know
31:50how to stop doing that.
32:03You know, the first time
32:03we got together,
32:05you remember you told me
32:06that you were like...
32:07You told me that
32:08you wouldn't give up on us.
32:10You have no idea
32:14how badly I wanted
32:15to believe you.
32:20I have good news.
32:35The CT scan is clear.
32:36The CT scan is clear?
32:38What does that mean?
32:39The swelling on Stephen's
32:40brain has gone down
32:41and we can start
32:42weaning him off the sedatives.
32:44It'll be a while
32:44until he wakes up.
32:45We'll let you know
32:46when he's ready for visitors.
32:51It's okay.
32:52He's gonna be okay.
32:54I've just been scared.
32:55I'm really sorry
33:04to dump this on you.
33:05I know you don't think
33:06that Stephen and I
33:06should get back together.
33:07No, I never
33:09should have judged you.
33:10You're right.
33:11I've been all over the place.
33:14Like, not wanting
33:15to let go of Stephen
33:15but still keeping Davis around
33:17is this, like,
33:18emotional buffer.
33:19It's shitty
33:20and selfish.
33:23And Stephen was trying
33:24to do the right thing
33:25and I'm just freaked.
33:27But all this...
33:33I think...
33:34I think that
33:35it made me realize
33:36that even though
33:37I'm so scared...
33:39I'm so scared
33:40to lose Stephen again.
33:41I'm more scared
33:42not to try.
33:48I'm gonna...
33:49I'm gonna break up
33:50with Davis.
33:52Whatever you wanna do,
33:54I support you.
34:05All right, how rough
34:06do I look right now?
34:07Do I look hot?
34:09I'm not gonna lie to you.
34:10I look that bad.
34:11Just go back to the house.
34:16Eat something.
34:17Shower.
34:20You heard the doctor.
34:21He's not gonna be up
34:22for a little while.
34:23Okay.
34:23Thanks, babe.
34:29Hey.
34:29If you wanna get back
34:34with Jeremiah,
34:35just do it.
34:37I never said that.
34:38And make him beg,
34:39obviously,
34:39but...
34:41don't just throw away
34:42everything you guys
34:42have had
34:43for the past four years.
34:48Like,
34:48not if it's still
34:49what you want.
34:49Okay.
35:03I like...
35:04I like...
35:04I like...
35:04I like...
35:04I like...
35:05Lar.
35:06Hmm.
35:07We gotta get out.
35:12Shut up.
35:13Still not a morning person, huh?
35:17My eyes are crispy.
35:21Can you bring me some of your contact solution?
35:24Yeah.
35:35Oh, my God.
35:38John, get in here!
35:41Oh, my God. Mom, where were you?
35:44Belly, I just got your messages.
35:45What's going on?
35:47Steven was in an accident. Is he okay?
35:49He's gonna be fine.
35:51I've been trying to keep it together,
35:53but I was so scared.
35:57Oh, man, shut up.
35:59I can't imagine how terrified you must have been.
36:01I'm so, so sorry.
36:04Have you been there all alone?
36:06No, no.
36:08Um, Taylor's here, and she's been amazing.
36:11And Jer's here.
36:14He stayed all night.
36:16Mom, things have been so crazy.
36:18Listen, sweetheart, I'll be there as soon as I can,
36:21and, um, I'll track down your dad and let him know.
36:25I love you so much, Belly.
36:28I love you, Mommy.
36:30What is that?
36:32Steven was in a car accident?
36:33He's okay.
36:34Okay.
36:35He's gonna be fine.
36:36But Belly couldn't reach either of us last night.
36:38It's okay.
36:39Just meet me in the lobby in five.
36:41We hadn't seen each other much over the years.
37:05And we hadn't been alone together since...
37:07Hey.
37:08That day at the motel.
37:10Hey.
37:11Hey.
37:19Why are you holding a poker?
37:21Oh.
37:22Um...
37:23I thought you were a burglar.
37:25Of course you did.
37:31Where's Jer?
37:32He and your dad are on their way to Chamonix.
37:37Right.
37:38Aren't you supposed to be meeting them there?
37:41Yeah, my flight got delayed because of the weather.
37:43They were trying to rebook me for the 28th.
37:46Hmm.
37:47What are you doing here?
37:49My mom is on a retreat in the mountains,
37:51and Steven's in New York.
37:53I was all alone at home.
37:55So...
37:56You have chocolate all over your face.
38:21No, I don't.
38:22What did you do?
38:23You just stick your whole head in to save time?
38:25Shut it!
38:27No, I don't.
38:28You cold?
38:29I could start a fire.
38:36See, I think it's maybe a little late for a fire.
38:38I think I'm just gonna crash.
38:40Merry Christmas, Belly.
38:43It's really good to see you.
38:51You too.
39:01The next morning, right when I woke up,
39:03I had this funny feeling that he had already left.
39:06Help.
39:07Help.
39:18You okay?
39:19Oh, no.
39:20Leave me alone.
39:21Are you hurt?
39:22Can you move?
39:23I thought you were gone.
39:24Nope.
39:25Still here.
39:27Let me help you out.
39:29No, no, no.
39:30Ow!
39:31Just get out.
39:32Let me help you out.
39:33No, no, no.
39:34Ow!
39:35Just, just give me a minute.
39:38Okay.
39:48How bad does it hurt on a scale from one to ten?
39:51Eleven.
39:52You're such a baby when it comes to pain.
39:54No, I'm not.
39:57I mean, that fall you took was no joke.
39:59Seriously, it was like when animals slip and fall in cartoons on banana peels.
40:06What?
40:07You calling me an animal?
40:08Ow, ow.
40:12Ow, ow.
40:13I'm gonna pick you up and I'm gonna carry you to the couch.
40:19No, no, no, no.
40:20Just, just, just, no.
40:22Just, I'm too heavy for you.
40:23Just leave me here.
40:24Okay.
40:25I know I can't bench press my body weight like Jer, but I can pick you up, Ellie.
40:30Ready?
40:33Okay, come on.
40:34Okay.
40:35Ow!
40:36You're okay.
40:37Ready?
40:38What?
40:39Ow.
40:43Watch your legs.
40:47Ow.
40:48You're okay.
40:49Yeah.
40:50Ow.
40:51That's when I had this sudden thought.
40:58A part of me will always love you.
41:13We spent the day together, but not together.
41:16Oh, to see without my eyes.
41:21The first time that you'll kiss me.
41:26Boundless by the time I cry.
41:29Entertainingly expressive.
41:31H blank blank blank Y.
41:37Hammy.
41:39Hammy?
41:40Hammy.
41:41Hammy.
41:42Hammy.
41:43Hammy.
41:44Hammy.
41:45Hammy.
41:46Hammy.
41:47Hammy.
41:48Hammy.
41:49Hammy.
41:50She's better off with Laszlo.
41:51You're insane.
41:52Rick and Elsa are obviously meant for each other.
41:55Their little love story is nothing compared to the work that Laszlo was doing for the resistance.
42:00Oh my God, dude.
42:01What?
42:02I'm gonna get more firewood.
42:04You are way too young to be this cynical.
42:07Yeah, yeah.
42:09Yeah, man.
42:10Extreme love.
42:16Hey.
42:17Hey.
42:17Belly.
42:18Hey, sorry, my reception out here is terrible.
42:20I'm on a mountain freezing my balls off.
42:22What are you up to?
42:23I'm actually in Cousins.
42:25I got super lonely, so I drove up.
42:28Oh, nice.
42:28Did you bring Taylor?
42:30No, I came by myself.
42:33Well, I wish you were here with me.
42:34Comrades fly gum that stuff because of the weather,
42:36so I'm stuck here with my dad.
42:38Yeah, he, uh...
42:40What?
42:42Hello?
42:42Belly. Can you hear me?
42:44Jer, I...
42:45I can't hear what you're saying.
42:46Uh, never mind.
42:48What?
42:50Wait, uh, I'll show you tomorrow.
42:52Okay, bye, Bells.
42:53Okay.
42:54Okay, love you.
43:00Hey, I...
43:01I would have told Jer that you're here, too.
43:04Don't worry about it.
43:05I never told Jeremiah that Conrad was with me at Cousins.
43:08Because there was nothing to tell.
43:10Nothing happened with Conrad.
43:13Nothing was ever gonna happen.
43:24The next morning, Conrad was gone.
43:27He left just like I thought he would.
43:36No goodbye.
43:37Just gone like a ghost.
43:38Conrad Fisher, the ghost of Christmas past.
43:53Blackbird on my shoulder, and what difference does it make?
44:01When this love is over, shall I sleep within your bed?
44:11River of unhappiness, hold your hands upon my head.
44:18Till I breathe my last breath.
44:24Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, is me.
44:29The last time that you touch me.
44:33Fall will once ever cease.
44:37Blast me in the mystery of love.
44:43Come in.
45:03Hey.
45:10Hey.
45:11Can you take your shoes off?
45:12I'm gonna be here for like a sec.
45:14I was just on my way in and...
45:15Came to rub it in my face that I got fired on day one?
45:18No, jerk.
45:18I wanted to see how your friend's doing.
45:20Yeah, he's gonna be okay.
45:22Thanks.
45:23Good.
45:24All right, this is for you.
45:26You're welcome.
45:29Um...
45:30So look, um...
45:33About yesterday...
45:35I mean, we all know Namazi's a hard ass.
45:38I'm fine.
45:40Cool.
45:41Uh, that's...
45:42Actually, I was gonna say...
45:44That she kind of has a point.
45:47Oh.
45:49I mean, look, you know I always tell you the truth, right?
45:51And the truth is that you're smart as hell, obviously.
45:55But you need to pay more attention to your feelings.
45:57Excuse me?
45:59Well, you can...
46:01Deny your emotions all you want.
46:03They're not going anywhere.
46:05And...
46:07As long as you're afraid to face them,
46:09they'll run you, not the other way around.
46:16Hello.
46:16Would have been nice.
46:18Hello.
46:22Steven, you ready for a visitor?
46:24Oh, yeah.
46:25Oh, you're awake.
46:26Ow.
46:27Ow.
46:28Ow.
46:28Careful of his ribs.
46:29No, no.
46:30Break another one, why don't you?
46:32It's barely cracked, you baby.
46:34How's, uh...
46:36How's mom and dad?
46:37Where are they?
46:38They're on their way.
46:39Hey.
46:44Hi.
46:46I'm gonna give you two a minute.
46:48I'm glad you're alive.
46:49You scared the shit out of everyone.
46:50You scared the shit out of everyone.
46:56You know that?
46:58Belly was worried to death.
46:59I knew you were just being a drama queen, obviously.
47:02I was in a coma.
47:03So...
47:04Yeah, but...
47:05...medically induced.
47:08Huh.
47:12Steven, I'm joking.
47:14I was worried about you, too, obviously.
47:16Yeah.
47:16Yeah, you know, I've been thinking a lot about what you said since I woke up.
47:20You know, before the crash.
47:21Me, too.
47:21And you were right.
47:25You and me, we don't work.
47:29What?
47:33If we never ran into each other that day in New York,
47:37we would have just gone about our lives and been fine.
47:39So let's just pretend we didn't.
47:46I've never been able to think clearly when it comes to you, Tay.
47:51I couldn't let you go.
47:55You know I love a challenge, but...
48:01It is a wake-up call.
48:04You were right.
48:06You and me, we don't work.
48:09Hmm.
48:12Good.
48:13Then we're on the same page.
48:15Yeah, yeah, finally.
48:16I'm gonna go find Belly.
48:21First loves are important.
48:31Conrad was mine.
48:33For the rest of my life, I would think of him fondly.
48:36The way you do your first pet.
48:38The first car you drove.
48:41But they're not as important as lasts.
48:43Stephen's gonna be okay.
48:58Thank God.
49:05Do you wanna get some air?
49:09Yeah.
49:09Yeah, I would love that.
49:10I was...
49:17I am so mad at you.
49:20And you have every right to be.
49:22I'm sorry for what I did to you,
49:24and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.
49:25I'm sorry you found out the worst way possible.
49:29I know it's gonna take a lot of work for you
49:31to even begin to trust me again,
49:33but I am willing to do whatever it takes if you let me.
49:36I'm sorry, too.
49:44Sorry for what?
49:47Sorry for everything leading up to that fight.
49:52And to Cabo.
49:53I can see how you thought we were broken up.
50:01You can?
50:03Yeah, but I...
50:04I don't understand how you could just
50:06move on to somebody else so easily.
50:09I mean, I could barely function.
50:11How were you okay enough to have sex with someone?
50:13No, no, Belly.
50:14I was completely numb that whole week.
50:17I didn't even feel like I was there
50:18when Lacey and I...
50:20when we had sex.
50:23After I...
50:24I just sat in the shower
50:25and cried for I don't...
50:27I don't even know how long.
50:29I was just thinking,
50:30how could I deserve you
50:31after that?
50:32Maybe we shouldn't let one mistake
50:40erase all these years.
50:44I mean,
50:45if we both believe that what we have
50:48is bigger than our mistakes,
50:51then...
50:52maybe we can just start over.
50:56I want that, Bells.
50:58I want that so much.
50:59You can't ever hurt me like that again.
51:04I promise.
51:09I promise.
51:24I don't want to mess this up again.
51:27We won't.
51:29After Steven,
51:31I get it now.
51:33Life's too short
51:34not to spend it with the person that you love.
51:39I want to be with you always,
51:41no matter what.
51:43I just can't imagine my life without you.
51:46Me either.
51:48Belly has always been our story,
51:49yours and mine.
51:51Nobody else's.
51:52What are you thinking?
52:00It's the future.
52:01It's just crazy.
52:02I don't know what.
52:03Say it.
52:07Would you...
52:08Yes.
52:10You don't even know what I'm about to say.
52:13Try me.
52:14Isabel Conklin.
52:22Will you marry me?
52:25Yes.
52:26Yeah, I'll marry you.
52:28I swear...
52:29I swear...
52:30I've known you were longer than...
52:34I love you.
52:38I love you, too.
52:40I love you.
52:41I love you.
52:41I love you.
52:41I love you.
52:41I love you.
52:42I love you.
52:42I love you.
52:42I love you.
52:43I love you.
52:44I love you.
52:44I love you.
52:45I love you.
52:45I love you.
52:46I love you.
52:46I love you.
52:47I love you.
52:48I love you.
52:48I love you.
52:49I love you.
52:49I love you.
52:50I love you.
52:51I love you.
52:51I love you.
52:52I love you.
52:53I love you.
52:53I love you.
52:54I love you.
52:54I love you.
52:54I love you.
52:55I love you.
52:55I love you.
52:56I love you.
52:57I love you.
52:57I love you.
52:58I love you.
52:59I love you.
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