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  • 2 days ago
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00:00:00When people hassle me about actually liking airplane or cafeteria food, I try to explain
00:00:10to them.
00:00:11I grew up with a divorced, working mom who never had the time or patience for anything
00:00:16fresh.
00:00:18Frozen or package was what I was weaned on, except for when she made her one dish, disguised
00:00:24a hundred different ways, chicken, chicken cacciatore, chicken florentine, Hawaiian chicken.
00:00:37Then mom had it with working in the single parent gig and moved us from New York to California
00:00:43with this swell guy she married, Marty Swell.
00:00:50At one time the name must have been Swellstein or Swellavitz, but somehow back at Ellis Island
00:01:00someone must have gotten lazy, or impatient, or inspired, and entered my step grandad into
00:01:09the US of A as just plain old swell.
00:01:13Marty!
00:01:14At least they had the decency not to add another L to make it a synonym for wonderful.
00:01:23I remember my summer vacation home after my first year away at college.
00:01:30I'd gone back to New York to study creative writing at NYU, so I was eager to show off my
00:01:34new sophisticated persona, and at the same time probe my roots.
00:01:39My plan was to write a book, my story, and return to the Big Apple with the definitive
00:01:44tale of the dysfunctional family, and launch my literary career.
00:01:48I was only 19, but I saw myself as someone distant and apart, an able observer to dissect
00:01:55and expose the key to what makes a family tick, or in this case, twist.
00:01:59I'd only been gone nine months, but that household seemed like a million light years away.
00:02:06It was until I stepped off the plane.
00:02:13Welcome aboard flight 584, departing New York, JFK International Airport, Los Angeles.
00:02:19Our flight time will be 5 hours and 49 minutes.
00:02:22Wendy!
00:02:23Wendy!
00:02:24Wendy!
00:02:25Wendy!
00:02:26Wendy!
00:02:27Wendy!
00:02:28Mom, hi!
00:02:29Hi!
00:02:30Oh, darling.
00:02:31Oh, my goodness.
00:02:32Let me look at you.
00:02:33Can you get one of those New York haircuts?
00:02:35Yes, it's adorable.
00:02:36It's adorable.
00:02:37I'm so glad to see you, my darling.
00:02:39I've missed you so much.
00:02:40I can't believe it's been a whole year.
00:02:42Okay.
00:02:43Mom, all right, wait.
00:02:44I gotta get my luggage.
00:02:45Is that you bought that?
00:03:00No, that's not mine.
00:03:02Wait, no, I think that's it over there.
00:03:04Uh, sir, could you help us?
00:03:06Thank you so much.
00:03:07You're such a fine person.
00:03:08I'm sorry.
00:03:09It's okay.
00:03:10No, no, you're Elena.
00:03:13You should let a nice gentleman take your baggage.
00:03:16Thank you so much.
00:03:17That's okay, I'll take it, thanks.
00:03:26Can we go?
00:03:27Of course, honey.
00:03:28I need the keys to open the trunk.
00:03:29All right.
00:03:30Okay, it's just down this aisle, I'm sure of it.
00:03:32Okay, yeah, that's it.
00:03:33That's the car right there.
00:03:34Remember this car?
00:03:35Yeah, I remember it.
00:03:37What is that?
00:03:38A ticket?
00:03:39A ticket?
00:03:44How could they give me a ticket?
00:03:46How can they give anybody a ticket around here?
00:03:48Oh, I'm gonna fight this.
00:03:49It's a meter.
00:03:50You didn't put enough change in the meter.
00:03:51Of course I put enough change in the meter.
00:03:53What?
00:03:54I put...
00:03:55I loaded it up with change.
00:03:56It took me for like a half an hour.
00:04:00Oh, could there be traffic on the 405 at 7.30 in the morning?
00:04:03There must be.
00:04:04L.A., Mom, there's always traffic.
00:04:06That's why it's so great in New York.
00:04:07You don't even need a car.
00:04:10Wishy, you know I've been talking to Marty about getting one of these car phones.
00:04:13Oh, my.
00:04:14That's so Hollywood.
00:04:15They're very expensive.
00:04:16You should see the bills we've been racking up lately.
00:04:17Marty is on the phone all the time.
00:04:19Fire!
00:04:20Fire!
00:04:21Fire!
00:04:22Fire!
00:04:23Fire!
00:04:24Fire!
00:04:25Fire!
00:04:26Fire!
00:04:27Fire!
00:04:28Fire!
00:04:29Fire!
00:04:30Fire!
00:04:31Fire!
00:04:32Fire!
00:04:33Fire!
00:04:34Fire!
00:04:35Fire!
00:04:36Fire!
00:04:37My half-sister.
00:04:38Although I'd get a smack if I ever called her half to her face.
00:04:40Do you remember the dose of Tracy almost set the goddamn house on fire?
00:04:41I was making pizza!
00:04:42Look!
00:04:43More fire!
00:04:44The housekeeper's daughter.
00:04:45A tidbit of normality.
00:04:46You're right, kid.
00:04:47You're right.
00:04:48Hand me that baking soda.
00:04:49Here, Daddy.
00:04:50He's not your daddy.
00:04:51You don't have one.
00:04:52Where you been, huh?
00:04:53I've been here waiting for you.
00:04:54Don't aggravate me.
00:04:55The traffic was murder.
00:04:56Yeah, well, the kids, they almost burned the house to the ground, for Christ's sake.
00:04:57I mean...
00:04:58I leave for one hour, and you can't take care of them.
00:04:59Mommy!
00:05:00Well, hon, Estelle's supposed to be here.
00:05:01She's been gone all morning.
00:05:02Come on!
00:05:03Marty.
00:05:04Estelle, the housekeeper.
00:05:05Will she ever have the guts to leave?
00:05:06Stop barking!
00:05:07Stop barking!
00:05:08You're right!
00:05:09You're right, kid.
00:05:10You're right.
00:05:11You're right, kid.
00:05:12You're right.
00:05:13You're right.
00:05:14You're right.
00:05:15You're right.
00:05:16You're right.
00:05:17You're right.
00:05:18You're right.
00:05:19You're right, kid.
00:05:20You're right.
00:05:21You're right.
00:05:22You're right.
00:05:23Hand me that baking soda.
00:05:24Here, Daddy.
00:05:25Stop barking!
00:05:26Mom!
00:05:27Oh, stop it, Tracy.
00:05:28You're driving me.
00:05:29Your skin looks good.
00:05:30Real good.
00:05:31You only got a few of them left.
00:05:33A real piece of work.
00:05:35And he always knew where to hit.
00:05:40Stand still!
00:05:41Door wasn't even locked.
00:05:42I can't believe you just leave it open.
00:05:44Don't be silly.
00:05:45It's broke daylight.
00:05:46Marty's here.
00:05:47So?
00:05:48What the killers do now is they get rid of the men first, and then they rape and kill the women.
00:05:54Or they kill them, and then they rape them.
00:05:58Can we please not talk about such things?
00:06:01I can't believe you don't know all this.
00:06:03You live in L.A.
00:06:04Don't you read the paper?
00:06:05Did you take my paper?
00:06:07How could I take your paper?
00:06:09I just got here.
00:06:10What's rape, Mommy?
00:06:11You see?
00:06:12You see the ideas you're giving your little sister?
00:06:15What?
00:06:16How do you tell your mother she's in denial when her only response is, I am not?
00:06:21I'm not giving them to her.
00:06:23They exist.
00:06:24Mr. Park, my friend.
00:06:26I was just gonna call you.
00:06:28No!
00:06:29My wife, she tell me, call you!
00:06:30You don't have any money!
00:06:32Hey!
00:06:33Go get ready for the party.
00:06:36What party?
00:06:37Your Aunt Sherry's birthday!
00:06:39I just got off a plane.
00:06:40I'm exhausted.
00:06:41How come no one told me about this?
00:06:43Now, you no understand, my friend.
00:06:46You no sell fruit juice, huh?
00:06:48You sell soda and cigarettes, huh?
00:06:51No!
00:06:52My wife, she say, buy fruit juice machine!
00:06:54Where is that little bitch?
00:06:56Hey, watch that language!
00:06:57God, where is it?
00:06:58My blood sister gone bad.
00:07:01You know, I'm just gonna let you see for yourselves how the whole mess played out that day.
00:07:07God damn it!
00:07:09No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:07:11The kids, they come, they see the fruit juice, they go to the 7-Eleven Mini Mall, and they buy soda and cigarettes.
00:07:17Hey!
00:07:19No!
00:07:20No!
00:07:21That breath steals my makeup that I saved my allowance for!
00:07:24For months!
00:07:25And all you have to say is watch that language!
00:07:28Quiet!
00:07:29She talks like a truck driver!
00:07:31If I would've talked like that when I was her age, I would've been grounded for a month.
00:07:35But no, not her.
00:07:36She's your daughter!
00:07:38Have you cleaned the pool yet?
00:07:40Mr. Swell!
00:07:41Huh?
00:07:43I have to clean the pool!
00:07:44I have to wash the cars!
00:07:45Why can't Estelle do it?
00:07:46She's the maid!
00:07:47She ain't the maid, she is the housekeeper!
00:07:49Yeah!
00:07:50Right!
00:07:51Mr. Swell!
00:07:52Okay, wiseass.
00:07:53Now you're not going to the party.
00:07:54Go to your room!
00:08:00Mr. Swell!
00:08:02Mr. Park.
00:08:04Fifteen.
00:08:05It's the maid.
00:08:06She's like a firecracker about to explode.
00:08:08Go get ready.
00:08:19You give kids what they want, Mr. Park.
00:08:39They pay money.
00:08:40No!
00:08:41We don't make money!
00:08:42We lose money!
00:08:43It reeks of weed, you know?
00:08:45Who cares?
00:08:46I can walk down the hall with a needle sticking out of my arm!
00:08:49You think they'd notice?
00:08:50There's my mother's shoes!
00:08:51And Mr. Swell have to come to your store and wheel away machine!
00:08:52Marty, get off!
00:08:53We have to get going!
00:08:54See?
00:08:55Then you know he'll be happy, Mr. Park.
00:08:57Oh!
00:08:58Oh!
00:08:59There's my mother's shoes!
00:09:00And Mr. Swell have to come to your store and wheel away machine!
00:09:04Marty, get off!
00:09:05We have to get going!
00:09:06See?
00:09:07Then you know he'll be happy, Mr. Park.
00:09:08Oh!
00:09:09Oh!
00:09:10Oh!
00:09:11Oh!
00:09:12Oh!
00:09:13Oh!
00:09:14Oh!
00:09:15Oh!
00:09:16Oh!
00:09:17Oh!
00:09:18Oh!
00:09:20Oh!
00:09:21Oh!
00:09:22Oh!
00:09:23Oh!
00:09:24Oh!
00:09:25Oh!
00:09:26Oh!
00:09:27Oh!
00:09:30Oh!
00:09:31Oh!
00:09:34Oh!
00:09:40Oh!
00:09:41The effects of neglect!
00:09:44Oh!
00:09:45Oh!
00:09:46Oh!
00:09:47Oh!
00:09:48Are you two ready?
00:09:49I'm not going!
00:09:51I'm grounded!
00:09:52Don't be silly!
00:09:53This is family!
00:09:54I'm not one of you!
00:09:56You! That's just biological.
00:09:58Oh, that's real nice.
00:10:00What am I going to tell your Aunt Sherry?
00:10:02Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!
00:10:04Hi, honey.
00:10:05I love you, Mommy.
00:10:07I love you too, sweetheart.
00:10:09Can I go swimming, Mommy?
00:10:10No, we're going to Aunt Sherry's birthday.
00:10:17Oh, Tracy.
00:10:20Oh.
00:10:20You've been tracking it all over the house.
00:10:23It smells.
00:10:24Estelle!
00:10:26Here I am, Mrs. Swell.
00:10:29We were looking everywhere for you.
00:10:32Have you been?
00:10:34I was jogging.
00:10:36Hi.
00:10:37Tracy stepped in poo-poo.
00:10:38Hi. Come here, Tracy.
00:10:39What is this dog doing in the house?
00:10:41I'm sorry, Mrs. Swell. I put him in my room.
00:10:44Come on, dog.
00:10:45Estelle, you don't have to put them in your room.
00:10:48I'll see you next week.
00:10:50Mr. Swell will see you next week.
00:10:52Bye-bye, Mr. Park.
00:10:54Bye-bye.
00:10:55What going on?
00:10:57Marty.
00:10:58I'm talking to a client.
00:10:59We are supposed to be at the party already.
00:11:01You're not even dressed.
00:11:02I'm trying to make some money.
00:11:04Party?
00:11:05Party?
00:11:05What's this about a party?
00:11:07Oh, hi, Pop.
00:11:08Good morning.
00:11:09Did I hear you say good morning, young lady?
00:11:12Good morning, Dad.
00:11:14Now, what's all this about a party?
00:11:16I've been asking you all week if you wanted to come.
00:11:19You told me no.
00:11:20Nobody told me anything about a party.
00:11:29Well, well, well.
00:11:30Look who's here.
00:11:31It's Wilma.
00:11:34Wendy.
00:11:34Did I hear you say good morning?
00:11:39Oh, thank you.
00:11:40I'll be Mrs. Swift.
00:11:45Hey, get off of my jacket, Tracy.
00:11:47Tracy, off the jacket.
00:11:50Aren't you coming?
00:11:51Me?
00:11:52Yes, you and Chrissy are part of the family.
00:11:54The air, pregnant with chaos.
00:12:18You're hurting me.
00:12:20Say it.
00:12:21Ow.
00:12:24Oh, Wendy, hand me that cake, will you?
00:12:35Mom, can't you redecorate or something?
00:12:37This place looks like 1970.
00:12:39What if I have the time?
00:12:41Dad, you coming?
00:12:42I wasn't invited.
00:12:48What?
00:12:49Nothing.
00:12:50Let's go.
00:12:51Are stills coming too?
00:12:52Um, Sherry, can you use some help in the kitchen?
00:12:56Uh, lock up, Dad.
00:13:04Mom, does he have to smoke that thing?
00:13:07Marty?
00:13:08No, I like cigars, senor.
00:13:09All right, all right.
00:13:11Pipe down, geez.
00:13:12Don't say his name in vain.
00:13:14I didn't.
00:13:16I said geez, like cheese.
00:13:18Price is still.
00:13:18You're making my kid into a fanatic.
00:13:20Let's go.
00:13:21The machine will pick up.
00:13:23My dad might answer.
00:13:24Not know what he's saying.
00:13:27Could be a client.
00:13:28They call all day and night.
00:13:30Could be a deal.
00:13:31Go get it, then.
00:13:32You go.
00:13:33Whoop.
00:13:35See?
00:13:36Got some of it back.
00:13:40Hello?
00:13:40Hello?
00:13:41Hello?
00:13:41Hello?
00:13:42Hello?
00:13:42Hello?
00:13:43Hello?
00:13:43Hello?
00:13:44Hello?
00:13:44Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
00:14:00Gracie has to go tinkle.
00:14:03Hello? Hello? Hello?
00:14:07They hung up. So?
00:14:14It was that crazy friend of yours, that drunken Peggy person.
00:14:19So what do you want me to do?
00:14:21You expect me to believe that she's a client?
00:14:24Oh, Marty.
00:14:28Hey, I told you. She gives me a lease. I gotta be nice to her.
00:14:32Oh, you're so nice. You are nicer to her than you are your own family.
00:14:37Come on, girls. We go pick lemons.
00:14:40Is that the only time you're nice? When you're with your little heart?
00:14:44Hey, hey. Watch your mouth.
00:14:51The Familiar Isolation.
00:14:56I'll be the mommy picking lemons for my family.
00:14:59I want to.
00:15:01Mommies have blonde hair like me.
00:15:03Gracie, you let Tracy be the mommy this time. You be it next time.
00:15:06Don't give in to her, Estelle. She's a spoiled little brat.
00:15:09Fuck you!
00:15:11Ho, Mr. Big Shot Nice Guy. Oh, yeah.
00:15:15What do you think? Why don't you take me for an idiot?
00:15:17You think I'm stupid? Like your first wife?
00:15:20Or like Sheila you used to lock in the closet?
00:15:22I'm like no one in the closet. What are you talking about, huh?
00:15:25Yeah, that's not what someone told me.
00:15:27I heard about you and your filthy ways!
00:15:30Your hair's cute.
00:15:32You think?
00:15:33It's the new wave look.
00:15:36Looks good on skinny girls with no tits.
00:15:39My finger! You're beat!
00:15:45She comes after you with a nutcracker.
00:15:48The woman is loony, psycho.
00:15:50Keep it down in there, will ya?
00:15:52The car is still running.
00:15:54Well, turn it off then!
00:15:55I thought we were going!
00:15:57I will go by myself!
00:16:03Kevin, oh, we're out of my way!
00:16:05Oh, God.
00:16:08Poor little baby.
00:16:10What did she do to you, huh?
00:16:12Oh, coochie coochie, you sweet little thing.
00:16:15You want some love, huh?
00:16:17How about Daddy make you some eggs?
00:16:19Some eggs or cheese, huh?
00:16:21We tried to bring them with the neighbor's dog,
00:16:24but this one won't give her the time of the day.
00:16:26Your mother thinks she's a homo.
00:16:29Here you go, sweetheart.
00:16:32So, uh, you hungry?
00:16:35No, I ate on the plane.
00:16:37Okay.
00:16:40Now, let's see what we got here.
00:16:44Hey, uh, Marty?
00:16:47I asked my mom to ask you.
00:16:49Ask me what?
00:16:51Well, then I guess she didn't.
00:16:53Um...
00:16:54Ask me what?
00:16:56Well, I was telling Mommy that my friend Malcolm
00:16:58is coming from New York for the summer.
00:17:00You know, his parents wanted to get him out of the city and...
00:17:03You want some Jack or you want some cheddar?
00:17:05Huh?
00:17:09Anyway...
00:17:10Um...
00:17:12You know, his family has treated me like their own daughter,
00:17:15and I was wondering, you know,
00:17:16if we can move a mattress into the den, could he stay?
00:17:18Absolutely not.
00:17:19No boys stay in the house.
00:17:24I'm almost 20 years old.
00:17:25My mother said it was all right.
00:17:27Look, I make the rules around here.
00:17:29No boys in the house, and that is it.
00:17:31That is it.
00:17:40Why does he always have to do this when it's my family?
00:17:43You said you were going to ask him.
00:17:45About what?
00:17:46About Malcolm.
00:17:48Oh, I did ask him.
00:17:49He said he'd have to think about it.
00:17:54What do you want me to do?
00:17:55He's only coming tonight, Ma.
00:18:05Look, Marty, he's my best friend.
00:18:07He's coming 3,000 miles.
00:18:09I don't care if he comes from Kalamazoo.
00:18:11He can stay in a hotel.
00:18:13He can come here to swim.
00:18:19Look, the truth is, he's gay.
00:18:22We're like sisters.
00:18:24Well, now he's not swimming here.
00:18:26No fairies in my pool.
00:18:28Fairies?
00:18:30Are you from the Ice Age?
00:18:31They're called gay.
00:18:33Gay, get it?
00:18:34Because they're happy?
00:18:35Happy fairies.
00:18:36Oh, God, I knew you would say no.
00:18:40Certainly only say no.
00:18:42He is not staying in my house.
00:18:46Your house.
00:18:48Your pool.
00:18:49Your kingdom, Mr. Big Authority.
00:18:51As it so happens, it is my mother's house,
00:18:53and it was her parents'.
00:18:55You know you better quit while you're ahead.
00:18:59That's just swell.
00:19:01My best friend can't come and stay for one summer,
00:19:03but your mistresses can call all day long.
00:19:07You were just lucky my mother's in denial.
00:19:09She only sees what she wants to.
00:19:10The rest of us knows you, scum.
00:19:13I hope one morning you never wake up.
00:19:19Wendy?
00:19:21Why did you have to marry him?
00:19:22We were fine before.
00:19:26She's done.
00:19:28She's home from college for the summer.
00:19:29I don't want any trouble.
00:19:32I'm going.
00:19:34Now you're going?
00:19:36Like that?
00:19:38I'm going for the grub.
00:19:39There's nothing to eat in this house.
00:19:41You look like a ghoul.
00:19:43I think I look good.
00:19:45Now what are boys going to say when they see you walking around like that?
00:19:48Well, they'll think that she comes from the circus.
00:19:50Bozo.
00:19:52If anyone looks like a circus performer, it's you.
00:19:54And plus, that's not my aim in life, to have a boyfriend.
00:19:59I hate men.
00:20:01You're such a beautiful girl.
00:20:02I don't know why you have to mess yourself up.
00:20:05Beauty sucks!
00:20:07Don't say that word.
00:20:08It's an onomatopoeia.
00:20:10Sounds like it means.
00:20:12Sucks.
00:20:13Watch it.
00:20:14Can we just go?
00:20:16Kenji?
00:20:31Tracy, sit in front with me.
00:20:33I want to sit with you, Mom.
00:20:34You'll sit in front with me.
00:20:36I'm your mother.
00:20:37Come on.
00:20:43How many air?
00:20:44I can't breathe.
00:20:46Hold your horses.
00:20:48Mom, I'm going to barf.
00:20:50Shit.
00:20:51What now?
00:20:52I forgot the cake.
00:20:55Now you can have a firmer fanny with the fanny-sizer from Barbco.
00:21:00Just shake, shake, shake.
00:21:02What the hell is it?
00:21:05Mira, I don't see the ivy's been watered.
00:21:08Why don't you do it yourself?
00:21:10You're lazy, SeΓ±or Suel.
00:21:12Oh, you'd be sad when you see you're no more lazy.
00:21:15Then no more work.
00:21:17Then you and Chrissy no more home.
00:21:19Then back to El Casa y Mirico.
00:21:22Party!
00:21:34Move over!
00:21:35I am!
00:21:36More!
00:21:38Where is it?
00:21:40Try the microphone, Missy's, Will.
00:21:41Marty!
00:21:43Is my sister's cake in there?
00:21:44We're leaving as soon as I find it!
00:21:47Shit!
00:21:49It's said to be heavy in the-
00:21:50...
00:21:51...
00:21:52...
00:21:54...
00:21:55...
00:22:02...
00:22:03...
00:22:25Honey, you gotta stop calling me here.
00:22:30Marty!
00:22:31Let me call you.
00:22:32You said you were gonna take me to Palm Springs today!
00:22:35You promised!
00:22:36You promised!
00:22:42A government bill to crack down on laboratory experiments...
00:22:45Mira, make me some meat, huh?
00:22:47Papi, you want some peppers?
00:22:48No.
00:22:49I've had my breakfast, son.
00:22:50It's almost lunchtime.
00:22:51I don't wanna be in any trouble.
00:22:53Ah, no trouble, Pop.
00:22:55Right, Mira?
00:22:56No problem.
00:22:57Atta girl.
00:23:01Fourteen people are dead, including three children.
00:23:03Four others suffered serious injuries.
00:23:05Ernie!
00:23:06Baby, you're back!
00:23:08How are you doing, man?
00:23:09Oh, my God, look at you.
00:23:10It is good to see you, too.
00:23:11Did they let you out of the slammer?
00:23:13Hey, Pamela, lovely as ever.
00:23:15She sure is.
00:23:17Pammy's grown since the last time you've seen her, Ern.
00:23:20She's a big girl now.
00:23:21Big.
00:23:25Not out of the bottle.
00:23:26It makes me feel like I'm in a commercial.
00:23:29Yeah, well, I don't care how it makes you feel.
00:23:30Not out of the bottle.
00:23:31It's disgusting.
00:23:41Excellent kickers, Mira.
00:23:43Excellent.
00:23:45Hello, Ernie.
00:23:48I'm gonna call Sherry and tell her we'll be there for dessert, okay?
00:23:50We have to.
00:23:51We're bringing the cake.
00:23:57If I ever find the goddamn thing.
00:24:00Hey, Sherry.
00:24:01Are you coming?
00:24:03I have the cake.
00:24:04We're coming.
00:24:05Why are you doing this to me?
00:24:08Why does everything have to be about you?
00:24:11Oh, well.
00:24:12I'm your baby sister.
00:24:13I need you here.
00:24:14Enter P.J.'s All-American Quimp Steak with a grocery purchase of $50 or more and win two round-trip tickets to our nation.
00:24:26Philadelphia.
00:24:27What do you want me to say?
00:24:28I can't get any cooperation around here.
00:24:30Marilyn, off the phone, huh?
00:24:32Uh, honey?
00:24:33I'm gonna have to call you back.
00:24:34Are you ever gonna bring me my cake?
00:24:37What do you want to go there for?
00:24:39You said we were going to Europe in the fall.
00:24:41Breaking the chain.
00:24:51That's not it.
00:24:56What are you doing?
00:24:57What are you doing?
00:24:58This is my stuff.
00:24:59I told you not to talk about my stuff.
00:25:00Get out of here, you little brat.
00:25:01Get out of my bathroom.
00:25:02We can go to Europe anytime.
00:25:03And Philly, we can stay with Sally and the kids.
00:25:05I am not staying with your sister.
00:25:07That's no vacation for me.
00:25:09I'm still recovering from when they were here at Christmas.
00:25:12So where am I recovering?
00:25:17In my wallet.
00:25:22Disneyland.
00:25:23Knott's Berry Farm.
00:25:25Vegas.
00:25:26The money just goes like water.
00:25:28The first number.
00:25:29The first number, the first number, the first number.
00:25:31The first number, the first number.
00:25:35The second number.
00:25:36You're not going to play now.
00:25:38It's very far in Vegas. The money just goes like water.
00:25:43I see a finger up there. It must be the number one. That is correct.
00:25:47It is the number one on our way to 10.
00:25:51That's why I'm thinking, honey.
00:25:53We should take advantage of this, okay?
00:25:56Don't you want to see someplace new?
00:25:59My daughter has been to Europe twice already, and I've never been.
00:26:03Honey, we're going to come home broke, okay?
00:26:06I mean, I hear the food is lousy. They make these tiny little sandwiches.
00:26:10And all that walking, you've got to do it. That's a fortune of loving shoes.
00:26:22Don't you have any sense of appreciation of beauty?
00:26:27The only time that I've been out of the country is when I went to Canada with Ted.
00:26:31Yeah. Look where beauty got him, huh? In the poor house.
00:26:36What are you complaining about, huh?
00:26:42You have a house, a pool, a fancy car?
00:26:45It's always in the shop.
00:26:46So it's in the shop. It's still yours.
00:26:48It's got a license. It reads swell, too, huh?
00:26:51Hmm?
00:26:52Look, what do you want, Mal? What else? What do you want? What? What?
00:26:55Look, I'm not saying that Ted is a better man than you.
00:26:58He's a bum.
00:26:59Don't you call my father a bum.
00:27:02Look, any man don't support his kid is a bum.
00:27:05Give me that on a...
00:27:06Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What do you think you're doing? Cut it out.
00:27:11Oh, what do you think you're doing, you little buggers?
00:27:14Give me that remote.
00:27:15Grandpa!
00:27:16What are you wearing those crosses for?
00:27:18You're a little Jewish girl. Didn't you know that?
00:27:20Dear Reverend Tom, you and only you have helped me to see the way each day.
00:27:35Even in my saddest times, when I feel like the little meatball that's first to be eaten on a plate of spaghetti,
00:27:44I know the work of God is being done, and I become happy accepting myself for exactly who I am.
00:27:56I know that evil will get its just due in this world, but it's hard waking up to it each day.
00:28:05I am sending you another $50 so that you can keep on helping people like me.
00:28:11I love you very much.
00:28:14Hugs and kisses, Estelle Rodriguez.
00:28:23Freeze!
00:28:24Freeze!
00:28:41Oola la la la la
00:28:45Oola la la la
00:28:49What do you say?
00:28:56I said I'm going to turn that music down, young lady.
00:29:00I didn't know it was bothering anyone.
00:29:19Don't you take a minute to clean this thing out before you go sunbathing?
00:29:24Well, I thought it would be okay to relax for a few minutes.
00:29:27I only slept an hour on the plane.
00:29:30Your sister's been cleaning up out here all year.
00:29:36Am I supposed to feel guilty because I've been away at school?
00:29:39Don't be ridiculous. I'm just saying you're going to have to help out around here this summer.
00:29:44Who said I wouldn't help? It's just...
00:29:47I came home to try to get some writing done.
00:29:49Not about all the promotion.
00:29:51I don't know how you could forget.
00:29:56I thought you said you were going to work.
00:30:00That is work, Mom.
00:30:06I only paid for my own ticket.
00:30:08Look, you had a job at the university.
00:30:13When I was your age, I never took a vacation.
00:30:17When you were my age, you were married and pregnant with me.
00:30:20No difference.
00:30:22There is a difference. It's a different world, Mom.
00:30:26God, you will just never let me be because I didn't work at Sparky Shoe Repair for ten bucks a week when I was thirteen.
00:30:31My father wanted me to learn the value of a dollar.
00:30:38I never expected to live off of them when I was grown up.
00:30:42Don't worry. I don't expect anything from you.
00:30:47Besides, look who's talking.
00:30:50You live in your parents' house and your husband hardly has a job.
00:30:52He is a responsible man. He brings in a good living.
00:30:56More than your own father.
00:31:03Hey, I know that guy.
00:31:05Fact or fiction?
00:31:06You need a reason to sue somebody.
00:31:09Fiction.
00:31:10Fact or fiction?
00:31:12You need substantial evidence or a reliable eyewitness to prove a crime.
00:31:17Fiction again.
00:31:19Fact or fiction?
00:31:21You don't need lots of money to take legal action.
00:31:25Fact.
00:31:27He got Barry a lot of money when he sued Panskin Law.
00:31:31Why'd he sue him?
00:31:32He made it look like he tripped on the hangar.
00:31:34And then, he made it look like he was there for him.
00:31:37This guy got him a lot of money.
00:31:40Lewis, Lewis, Lewis and Clark.
00:31:43Four fellas you can trust.
00:31:46That's 1-800-G-E-T-T-H-E-F.
00:31:52Don't be a wimp.
00:31:53Send your kid to college.
00:32:02I'll be a wimp, Michael.
00:32:04You must be Marty.
00:32:11I'm the handyman.
00:32:14Hold on.
00:32:27Marty?
00:32:28Yeah, yeah, I'm Marty.
00:32:32Malcolm.
00:32:33Hi.
00:32:34You met Ernest here?
00:32:36Ernest.
00:32:39English?
00:32:40That's right.
00:32:40Born and raised.
00:32:42But I live in Manhattan now, though.
00:32:45I always thought moms and dads were supposed to love each other.
00:32:56Wendy, someone at the door for you.
00:32:58For me?
00:32:59Oh, this is Malcolm here, Papa.
00:33:04He's from Great Britain.
00:33:08What you studying this year, mija?
00:33:14Literature, philosophy.
00:33:16Well, that sounds interesting.
00:33:17It is.
00:33:18Your hair is so pretty.
00:33:29You're a grown-up.
00:33:33You know, you should think about college one day, Estelle.
00:33:50No, really, I mean it.
00:33:52You're only four years older than me.
00:33:54Come on.
00:33:56Let's go.
00:34:01Well, I meant to get you a present for your birthday, but I forgot.
00:34:04I promise I'm going to get you one this summer.
00:34:06Don't be silly.
00:34:07I came here in 1921.
00:34:10My parents packed me away in a pot-bellied stove.
00:34:13What are you doing here?
00:34:20Caught an early flight on standby.
00:34:23Been up all night.
00:34:25Too much coke.
00:34:27You look smart.
00:34:28Could you just swim myself?
00:34:35Can you believe these dogs?
00:34:37Always the same story.
00:34:39Mom, this is Malcolm.
00:34:41Hello.
00:34:43I must say, beauty certainly does run in the family.
00:34:48Oh.
00:34:49I just wanted to show them your bathroom, Mom.
00:34:51Oh.
00:34:52It's a trip.
00:34:53Oh, I hope Marty didn't leave it in a mess.
00:35:10Buck.
00:35:10Marty, what am I going to do with you?
00:35:14You are so fucking fly.
00:35:18It's...
00:35:18It's, um...
00:35:21It's...
00:35:24Absolutely fabulous.
00:35:28Ugh.
00:35:30There's the damn cake.
00:35:32Oh, dear.
00:35:33That kid.
00:35:35That kid.
00:35:35English, you know.
00:35:37What?
00:35:38You know.
00:35:40Him?
00:35:43Nah.
00:35:43Not him.
00:35:44No, I'm telling you, Ernie.
00:35:46Wendy told me.
00:35:47I've known plenty of them where I've been.
00:35:50You ain't like them.
00:35:51Hey, this is the more refined kind.
00:35:53Different kind of breed.
00:35:54I saw the way I looked at Wendy back there.
00:35:58It's time to be wrong, man.
00:36:00I found it!
00:36:02Let's go.
00:36:03This is my grandparents' house.
00:36:08You know, all the best memories I have of being a kid were here.
00:36:11Oh, look.
00:36:11The waterfall's working.
00:36:13I love the waterfall.
00:36:15Do you see this rock garden?
00:36:17I love the rock garden.
00:36:19My grandpa built this for me.
00:36:20Well, I helped him.
00:36:21I helped him pick out all the little people and little animals.
00:36:24There's the goose.
00:36:26There's the bunny.
00:36:27Chipper, the bunny.
00:36:28I call him Chipper because he looks so chipper.
00:36:31And there's the turtle.
00:36:32And this is the princess.
00:36:35Oh, and the elf.
00:36:36I love the elf.
00:36:37He's my favorite.
00:36:38He's just been hours sitting next to that elf.
00:36:41Any chance of a little drinky?
00:36:46So, what are we waiting for?
00:36:48I can't leave right now, doll.
00:36:50Ernie's here.
00:36:51Okay.
00:36:52Don't mind me.
00:36:52No, I can't leave my right-hand man all alone while I'm having a ball at the party.
00:37:00Maybe you want to come.
00:37:01Uh, Marty, could I talk to you for a second?
00:37:05All right, Ernie.
00:37:06All right, all right, all right.
00:37:10I'm not taking him to Sherry's.
00:37:12He's a thief.
00:37:12He just got out of jail.
00:37:14How many times I got to tell you, he didn't do it.
00:37:17He was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
00:37:19You know, Ernie, he's not too bright.
00:37:21I mean, he didn't know how to defend himself.
00:37:24Why do you always have to make things so difficult for me?
00:37:28Your father lives here.
00:37:30Grab a slant down.
00:37:31I'm getting on.
00:37:36No, I want to.
00:37:37It's my house.
00:37:38I can't swim.
00:37:39Go buy one.
00:37:47Marty distributes to vending machines.
00:37:50But a use.
00:37:52This is not hotel bars.
00:37:54Wow.
00:37:55The whole closet's full of this stuff.
00:37:58It's just sitting around collecting dust.
00:38:00Nobody touches it.
00:38:01It's...
00:38:01Cool.
00:38:07Oh.
00:38:14Did you get this?
00:38:19Scored a QP in Washington Square.
00:38:23Yeah, what can I say, Ernie?
00:38:24She can't go anywhere.
00:38:25We're out.
00:38:26We don't worry about it.
00:38:27See you, Marilyn.
00:38:28We're going.
00:38:29Get it.
00:38:37You're such a degenerate.
00:38:47Maybe you could pay me for half of that.
00:38:49See as you're smoking it, too.
00:38:51I'm serious.
00:39:04Just one more hit.
00:39:05Bitch!
00:39:23Bitch!
00:39:23Mom!
00:39:26Mom!
00:39:27Mom!
00:39:29Help! Mom!
00:39:47Help!
00:39:48I don't like the sound of that.
00:39:57Oh, you look at that!
00:40:04I can't believe it!
00:40:09Gracie!
00:40:10You're a little hero!
00:40:12Gracie, mija, what's up?
00:40:14What is going on?
00:40:16What's going on, mija?
00:40:18It's not. She's a fool.
00:40:20My little hero!
00:40:22Marilyn, call the papers.
00:40:24What are you, crazy?
00:40:25I happen to be serious. This is a big news item.
00:40:27Get caught, saved by tyke.
00:40:28I like that.
00:40:30I'm telling you, Marilyn, they're gonna eat this thing up by tomorrow.
00:40:34The phone is gonna be ringing off the hook.
00:40:36Oh, just what we need.
00:40:55Focus.
00:40:59Focus.
00:41:05Come on.
00:41:06You're a dress.
00:41:15Ha!
00:41:18Mm.
00:41:19Why don't you come on over here and sit next to me?
00:41:43Come on.
00:41:44Come on!
00:41:46I can't.
00:41:47Come on.
00:41:50Oohh...
00:41:54Ahh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh.
00:42:04Okay.
00:42:05Do you remember all the fun we had at the G-Spot last week?
00:42:20I was totally blasted.
00:42:21So was I.
00:42:35Wendy, if you don't get off me, I'm going to fuck your lights out, and it won't be sweet.
00:42:46I should call Brian.
00:42:48What for?
00:42:50He's out here.
00:42:52Comes from L.A.
00:42:56He said he'd take me clubbing.
00:42:58We'll go to clubs.
00:42:59We'll do all kinds of cool things.
00:43:00Don't get sarcastic with me.
00:43:02I'm just so sick and tired of doing this crappy little stupid story.
00:43:06Put the camera over there.
00:43:08Wendy, there's paparazzi out here.
00:43:12Hit the keys.
00:43:13What do you think they want?
00:43:15I don't know.
00:43:17Some famous athlete moved in across this street.
00:43:20There's always shit going on.
00:43:27Right this way, boys.
00:43:28Come on in.
00:43:35Channel 81.
00:43:41Okay, okay.
00:43:42You stand right here.
00:43:43Are you family?
00:43:44Are you family?
00:43:46All right, you?
00:43:49Okay.
00:43:50Of course, you're family.
00:43:51We know that.
00:43:56Hi, I'm Pam.
00:43:57Hi.
00:43:58Nice camera.
00:43:59I'm the neglected middle child.
00:44:04What the?
00:44:05Hot.
00:44:06Saved by kike.
00:44:07That was my idea.
00:44:09For the record, Tracy, she's my half-sister.
00:44:12Think you could spit some water out of your mouth?
00:44:14Oh, must be the times.
00:44:17Are you family?
00:44:19God, no.
00:44:20Oh.
00:44:21Oh, but I live here.
00:44:22Let's just get a shot over here, all right?
00:44:25You're the first aid kit, though.
00:44:27Is your the first aid kit you can get a shot?
00:44:28Hello?
00:44:31Marty, would you get that first aid kit?
00:44:35My name's Steve, and this is Raphael.
00:44:50We're from the Helping Hands program.
00:44:52We're asking for donations from the community
00:44:53to help send inner-city kids like Raphael to summer camp.
00:44:57Oh.
00:44:59Will you take a check?
00:45:01Sure.
00:45:02Okay, just a minute.
00:45:05Oh, what a babe.
00:45:10Will you take cash?
00:45:12No problem.
00:45:14Okay.
00:45:18Er, you're smiling for the camera.
00:45:19I'm the boss, sir.
00:45:20I'm the boss.
00:45:21Can we take pictures here of me and my two girls?
00:45:24I'm directing the show.
00:45:25Get back, get back here.
00:45:26We need her.
00:45:28Marty, will you give me ten bucks?
00:45:30The water man's here.
00:45:31What water man?
00:45:32We don't get no water.
00:45:33Mom ordered it.
00:45:34The tap's disgusting.
00:45:36It's true.
00:45:38Tap water is very unhealthy.
00:45:41They only give us filter in the slime.
00:45:43Yeah, well, I just don't like her ordering things without informing me.
00:45:47I'm sure it wasn't oversight.
00:45:48Just give me ten bucks, Marty.
00:45:50Well, tell me to wait.
00:45:51I'm busy here.
00:45:52Don't get smart with me.
00:45:58Okay.
00:45:58What's with that woman?
00:45:59She could have at least come in with a close-up.
00:46:01I mean, nice, tight shot of the kid.
00:46:03Do you have ten bucks?
00:46:04What?
00:46:05It's for a good cause.
00:46:07Let me see.
00:46:08Let me see you in the face and see all you've given me.
00:46:10Oh, oh, oh.
00:46:13Wendy?
00:46:14Can we get this one?
00:46:16How do you put a child of here?
00:46:17You know, we need to get the pedicure out of here.
00:46:19You know, we need to get the pedicure out of here.
00:46:19You know, you need it now, completely.
00:46:21Brian!
00:46:23Dude!
00:46:25Malky!
00:46:26You're here!
00:46:28Do you have a life preserver, maybe?
00:46:29Yeah!
00:46:31Yeah, I'm here.
00:46:32Aren't you going to the freaking party?
00:46:34Welcome to Smell-A, baby.
00:46:45Shit.
00:46:47I know Mom keeps a hundred bucks in here somewhere for emergencies.
00:46:52I'm sorry, Pammy.
00:46:53I'm just going to have to wait until your mommy pays me next.
00:46:58Dang, Estelle, why do you have to give all your money to that stupid preacher?
00:47:04Guys, look, you've got to put your camera right about here.
00:47:09Where are you?
00:47:10In the valley?
00:47:12Nah, it sucks.
00:47:14With Wendy?
00:47:16That wench?
00:47:17How good.
00:47:21You do want to see me, don't you?
00:47:24Look at that side.
00:47:25Yeah.
00:47:26Yeah.
00:47:28With so much, so much stuff that we're going to do, like on Friday, we're going to get a cherry.
00:47:32It'll work that way, but after that, we're going to get this really, really good after-hours club that I know about.
00:47:37Watch out for the shadow.
00:47:39Why don't you get that pretty little butt of yours up here and join the party?
00:47:44Huh?
00:47:45No, I'm coming.
00:47:46I'm coming.
00:47:47Trust me.
00:47:47You've got to put the camera on this car.
00:47:49Mom, the water man.
00:47:51You stuck with your story about the water man.
00:47:53I am not giving you money for drugs.
00:47:58What's all the racket?
00:47:59We're going to be there news, Pop.
00:48:00Mom, do you help?
00:48:01It's Grandpa.
00:48:02Grandpa most swell to you.
00:48:04I'm in hell.
00:48:05I'm in hell.
00:48:05I'm in, I'm in, I'm in quarter hell.
00:48:09Okay, I'm checking.
00:48:10I'm in swell hell.
00:48:12Then we're going to go on Saturday.
00:48:13We're going to go to...
00:48:13For the house.
00:48:17Not now, Dad.
00:48:19I've got my hands full.
00:48:22Go ahead, Eric.
00:48:23Get the door.
00:48:24Okay, let's do a rehearsal.
00:48:26Look right into the camera and tell us what happened.
00:48:28I was trying to help her get the raft out of the pool, and then she fell in.
00:48:33I yelled for help, but no one heard me.
00:48:36They had the TV on.
00:48:37Don't say that, Tracy.
00:48:38I mean...
00:48:41Ow.
00:48:42Jesus, Pop, what is it?
00:48:44Over the house.
00:48:48Well, that's really sweet of you, Pop.
00:48:50Look here, Ernie.
00:48:52Pop's contributing.
00:48:53You see this, Marilyn?
00:48:54It's a very thoughtful gesture.
00:48:57Where did you get these, Pop?
00:49:00Carl's Jr.
00:49:02Carl's Jr.?
00:49:04No kidding.
00:49:06You'll never guess who I saw while I was there.
00:49:09Cary Grant.
00:49:11Cary Grant's dead, Pop.
00:49:13No, no, no.
00:49:13It was Cary Grant.
00:49:15Handsome devil.
00:49:16But I kept saying to myself, what is Cary Grant doing in Carl's Jr.?
00:49:22This will be fun.
00:49:34Let me see the face.
00:49:35Let me see the face.
00:49:36Perfect.
00:49:37Perfect.
00:49:38Okay.
00:49:38Hold that, okay?
00:49:42It's the best I can do.
00:49:44I don't think you understand.
00:49:45We need funds to help send the kids to the summer camp.
00:49:48This is...
00:49:49You mean you don't want it?
00:49:54Fine, you don't want it.
00:49:59I hate this house.
00:50:06This is not what I expected.
00:50:08It's nothing like what I expected.
00:50:10What did you expect?
00:50:12I mean, what did I expect?
00:50:13Yeah, what did you expect?
00:50:14A little bit more than this shit.
00:50:16Bunch of weirdos.
00:50:21Hey, Stell.
00:50:23Want to go to church?
00:50:30Hey, Stell.
00:50:31You want to come to church with me?
00:50:36Fuck.
00:50:37Sucks!
00:50:38Why can't you drive me to Brian's?
00:50:44You were supposed to come here to see me.
00:50:46We were supposed to be together.
00:50:47Brian's parents are gone for the summer.
00:50:50He's all alone in some huge mansion in Bel Air.
00:50:54Brian's a creep.
00:50:59He's okay, company, if you're not sober.
00:51:01Well, give me 20 bucks.
00:51:14I'll take a cab.
00:51:15I blew all my money coming back from duty-free.
00:51:21That'll wire me some more cash tomorrow.
00:51:23I don't have 20 bucks.
00:51:28Ask your mother.
00:51:29You are so pathetic.
00:51:33You are the most selfish, immature, narcissist.
00:51:37At least I'm not some pretentious, suburban wannabe.
00:51:42Like you.
00:51:45Lee.
00:51:46Lee, if you want.
00:51:48Fine.
00:51:49I guess I'll just have to call Brian then, won't I?
00:51:52Ask him to come and pick me up.
00:52:18Excuse me, sir.
00:52:22Mr. Swell, Mr. Swell, please come over here.
00:52:25Yes.
00:52:26We want to interview you and ask you what happened.
00:52:27Okay.
00:52:28Okay.
00:52:30Kind of like Lauren Swell, kind of.
00:52:32A little bit.
00:52:36Okay.
00:52:38How have you been?
00:52:39Oh, fine.
00:52:40How are you?
00:52:41I'm good.
00:52:42Okay.
00:52:43You look great.
00:52:49Welcome.
00:52:52Do you want to go to church sometime?
00:52:56You go to church?
00:52:57Yeah.
00:52:58Really?
00:52:59I didn't think of you as a church man, really.
00:53:03I'm a church man.
00:53:04St. Christopher.
00:53:05Oh, that's beautiful.
00:53:07Yeah.
00:53:08All right.
00:53:08All right.
00:53:08Let me get the hands over here.
00:53:09Can we light up the shot?
00:53:10You know, like, so, so what?
00:53:31So we could get to the party.
00:53:33So what?
00:53:33Big deal.
00:53:34We could always go to that party.
00:53:35I mean, how many times do we get to be on the news, huh?
00:53:38On full color and then TV and everyone's going to watch it.
00:53:42You, you, your family priests might see it back in, you know, New York.
00:53:46Who knows?
00:53:46New Jersey.
00:53:48This is really great.
00:53:50We can't, uh, we can't blow this one, Marilyn.
00:53:51We've got to have this one.
00:53:52What a day, all this excitement.
00:53:57No different from any other day.
00:53:59Right, Arne?
00:54:03You know, I've had it with these backyard stories.
00:54:07Ugh!
00:54:08I want to do hard news.
00:54:10Thanks so much for the hospitality.
00:54:27Oh, you're most welcome.
00:54:31Anytime, Judy.
00:54:32Randy?
00:54:52All right?
00:54:54Leave me alone.
00:54:59Leave me alone.
00:55:00I know, I know, I know your friend left and you're upset about it.
00:55:08You don't understand.
00:55:10Well, he seemed to take it very well.
00:55:17What is it, honey?
00:55:20What is it?
00:55:25What is it, cousin Nova?
00:55:27What is it, Doug?
00:55:30I'm in love with him.
00:55:38Oh.
00:55:40Well, he seemed to be a very nice young man.
00:55:44He's not.
00:55:49He said he was coming here to see me.
00:55:52He just ended up using me for his own pathetic purposes.
00:55:54Have you been intimate?
00:56:12Yes.
00:56:16And then he just pretended like it didn't even happen.
00:56:20I hate men.
00:56:21And I hate Marty.
00:56:27Him and that disgusting convict chased him away.
00:56:30No, you don't know that.
00:56:32I do.
00:56:35You're so low class.
00:56:38You know, nobody even understands why you married that pig.
00:56:43Wendy, please.
00:56:44Why did you marry him?
00:56:53Well, he used to be really nice to me.
00:56:55You know, what a great, what a great, what a great chance to be back here.
00:57:10Now, there's a, a little kind of a business matter I've been meaning to talk to you about.
00:57:15Oh, no.
00:57:18I ain't done my time.
00:57:20No, wait, wait.
00:57:21Ernie, baby, that was not my fault, okay?
00:57:25I mean, I just sold the machine.
00:57:27How was I supposed to know that these bums are going to put an alarm on it?
00:57:30I mean, who ever heard of such a thing, huh?
00:57:31A lock, maybe, but not an alarm.
00:57:34Um, I'll try to get you out of there.
00:57:42Yeah?
00:57:43Mm-hmm.
00:57:45Well, thanks for coming to visit.
00:57:48And the cookies.
00:57:51Hey, the least I can do for my partner, huh?
00:57:55Mm-hmm.
00:57:59Now, look, this situation.
00:58:02No risk, huh?
00:58:04Marilyn's got this coat.
00:58:09Mink coat, huh?
00:58:11She don't use it no more because it's a gift I got her, you know, about 10 years ago when we were dating.
00:58:18We keep her insurance on it, you know.
00:58:22So the coat is still worth a lot.
00:58:25Get my drift?
00:58:26Yeah.
00:58:27Okay.
00:58:28I think.
00:58:29Good.
00:58:30What I'm suggesting is take a look at the coat.
00:58:34Huh?
00:58:35It's in the closet in the study, in Estelle's room.
00:58:39Estelle ain't there at night because she's up there watching that preacher man she's so much in love with, you know?
00:58:44What I want you to do is examine the merchandise, okay?
00:58:49Take the coat with you and then see if you can find us a buyer.
00:58:54We make an insurance claim on it like it's been stolen.
00:58:57And Marilyn, she buys herself a new coat.
00:59:01Hey, she's going to be a lot more happier.
00:59:04And we keep the money.
00:59:07Exactly, yeah.
00:59:0850-50 this time.
00:59:11Partner.
00:59:16Oh, hey, hold, hold.
00:59:18Let Estelle get it.
00:59:19She's the maid.
00:59:20Estelle, the doorbell.
00:59:22Oh, hi, Mike.
00:59:30Is Wendy here?
00:59:31She's in her room.
00:59:33You could go on back.
00:59:36Hey, hi, Mike.
00:59:38How's school?
00:59:39Good, Mr. Swell.
00:59:41Real good.
00:59:45I'm joining the college track team this fall.
00:59:47Important for a man to be able to run, huh?
00:59:58Allo.
01:00:05It's for you.
01:00:11Marty Swell.
01:00:14Becky.
01:00:15Shove it, you lying prick.
01:00:17You have lied to me since the day we met.
01:00:20Peggy, calm down.
01:00:21Take it easy.
01:00:36Wendy?
01:00:41Mike?
01:00:45I heard you were home.
01:00:51Home.
01:00:53God, I wish there was a place that felt like home.
01:01:01Tell me about it.
01:01:03I've been home a week.
01:01:04My parents are already driving me nuts.
01:01:06I'm headed back to Berkeley tonight.
01:01:31Tonight?
01:01:32How am I going to hang out with all summer?
01:01:34You want to do a bong hit?
01:01:37Why not?
01:01:41Fuck reality.
01:01:42I can just see you in New York, sitting in the back of a cab, going down Fifth Avenue, smoking a doobie.
01:02:03Why don't you come and visit?
01:02:05Yeah.
01:02:05Yeah.
01:02:05I can't be.
01:02:06I can't see you in New York.
01:02:10I can just see you in New York.
01:02:24Okay.
01:02:26I can never talk too much.
01:02:28I can't believe it's not a man.
01:02:30But nobody cares.
01:02:30I can't believe it.
01:02:32I can't believe it.
01:02:32You can always deal with the family.
01:02:32You can never travel.
01:02:33You have to know.
01:02:33I can't even go.
01:02:33I've got to know.
01:02:34You should come to Berkeley if you want to get away.
01:02:46I'll make you bet on the dorm floor.
01:02:47Sometimes I just fantasize about never coming back.
01:03:09Mike, did you see a car here when you drove up?
01:03:13Your mom's car?
01:03:15No, Marty's, the caddy. My mom's is in the shop.
01:03:20No, I don't think so.
01:03:31Oh, God.
01:03:33What's wrong?
01:03:34No, no, no. No, no. No, he couldn't have done that to me. No, that's just way too fucked.
01:03:40That's just way too fucked.
01:03:43What's going on?
01:03:49Okay, maybe they went.
01:03:51Maybe Mom went alone. Maybe Marty left with that jerk.
01:03:55Is there something I can do?
01:03:57Listen, Mike, I think something really bad has gone down. I mean, really bad.
01:04:02Are you sure you're not just being paranoid?
01:04:05I don't know, maybe.
01:04:07Oh, God, I hope so.
01:04:09I think, I'm not sure.
01:04:10Listen, can you just hang out a second?
01:04:12You just might be witness to a murder.
01:04:15Mine.
01:04:16Mine.
01:04:17I don't know.
01:04:19I don't know.
01:04:20Yeah.
01:04:21No, I don't know.
01:04:22I don't know.
01:04:52Oh, you scared me.
01:05:07What is it?
01:05:09Um, nothing.
01:05:10I thought maybe you went to the party.
01:05:12After today?
01:05:14Forget it.
01:05:14I'm pooped.
01:05:16We'll take Sherry for breakfast this week.
01:05:18For her birthday.
01:05:20Oh, dinner.
01:05:21Well, maybe we'll get takeout, huh?
01:05:23Maybe tie?
01:05:24Delivery?
01:05:25Yeah, I'll have it delivered.
01:05:26I'm not going anywhere.
01:05:29Okay, that's a good idea, Mom.
01:05:30You look tired.
01:05:31You rest, okay?
01:05:34Okay.
01:05:34You get sick when you're old, and, you know, especially for the folks in the old folks' home.
01:05:46I mean, you know, you're up there.
01:05:48My God.
01:05:54Hello?
01:05:55Hi.
01:05:56Uh, Mrs. Thomas?
01:05:58Yeah, hi.
01:05:59This is, uh, Wendy.
01:06:01Wendy?
01:06:01Wendy Schumann.
01:06:03You know, uh, Malcolm's friend?
01:06:04You were here for dinner last week, weren't you?
01:06:07We had lamb.
01:06:09Yeah, right, right.
01:06:10Oh, Malcolm's on his way out to see you, isn't he?
01:06:13Has he arrived yet?
01:06:15No.
01:06:16No, he's, he's not here yet.
01:06:18No, I'm expecting him later.
01:06:21Yeah.
01:06:21Um, listen, the reason I'm calling is, um, I just, I just want to know, do you happen
01:06:26to know Malcolm's friend, Brian?
01:06:28Brian?
01:06:30No, I don't think I ever recall a Brian having dinner here.
01:06:33No, he, he lives out here in L.A., in Bel Air.
01:06:36I was wondering if, if maybe you knew his number.
01:06:38And why don't you try 411?
01:06:40I don't know his last name.
01:06:49Yeah, well, see, um, I was thinking, you know, since Malcolm's coming out to L.A.
01:06:53and everything, um, that maybe I could get together some of his friends he knew from school
01:06:57and maybe we could have a little welcome to L.A. party for him.
01:07:01Oh.
01:07:02Yes, I'm sure he'd adore that.
01:07:04Yeah.
01:07:05I know how he likes parties.
01:07:08Look, I'm sorry, dear, I really can't help you, but I just don't recall a Brian.
01:07:13No, no, no, that, that's okay.
01:07:15I think I have to go now.
01:07:17Bye-bye, dear.
01:07:18Yeah.
01:07:19Okay.
01:07:19Bye.
01:07:23Bye.
01:07:26Fuck.
01:07:29What's going on?
01:07:31Something really awful.
01:07:33Come on.
01:07:35You don't understand.
01:07:37I'm talking about Grand Theft Auto here.
01:07:40Huh?
01:07:41All right, look, this friend of mine came from New York for a visit, and he stole the car.
01:07:48Kind of my ex-boyfriend.
01:07:50Your boyfriend?
01:07:52Oh, yeah, it's a long, idiotic story, but this is not just going to blow over.
01:07:56Oh, God.
01:07:57Do you know where he went?
01:07:59Yeah, to the palace of some queen named Brian in Bel Air.
01:08:02Can't you call his parents?
01:08:07I tried.
01:08:09Believe me, they don't know anything about Brian.
01:08:15Look, if you know it's in Bel Air, the cops are going to track it down.
01:08:18I can't believe he did this to me.
01:08:26Some vacation.
01:08:28It's not your fault.
01:08:30It is.
01:08:31He was my friend, and of course it has to be Marty's car.
01:08:35I just want to disappear and die.
01:08:57Hey, here it is.
01:08:59That's me, that's me.
01:09:00Me too.
01:09:01I helped her get the raft out of the pool, and then she fell in.
01:09:05I jumped in, and then I put my arm around her neck, and then I carried her to shore.
01:09:10Right.
01:09:11You carried her to shore?
01:09:12Yeah.
01:09:13Excuse me, are you with the family?
01:09:14What?
01:09:16You are with the family.
01:09:18And were you here when she dropped?
01:09:22Yeah, hot safe by tight.
01:09:25We have two little stars right here at the table.
01:09:27Yeah, and one of them nearly had to drown to get there.
01:09:30Why do you always have to be so negative?
01:09:33Tracy, eat your meat crumb.
01:09:34I don't want to.
01:09:35It's good.
01:09:36It tastes like candy.
01:09:37I want candy for dinner.
01:09:38Where's Wendy?
01:09:40Um, probably in her room, sleeping or crying.
01:09:43Well, we'll go tell her we're eating.
01:09:47Why do I have to?
01:09:49Wait a minute.
01:09:49Yo, bitch.
01:10:02She's not there, Ma.
01:10:04Maybe she went out.
01:10:05Well, she better not take in her car.
01:10:06She's not insured.
01:10:08I thought you said you were going to take care of that for the summer.
01:10:11Not in my car.
01:10:12She can drive yours when it gets out of the shop.
01:10:14This car's for a celebration.
01:10:16For the hero.
01:10:17Hooray, yeah.
01:10:19And the hearie.
01:10:20Right.
01:10:21Woo!
01:10:23Don't we get a danish or something for a candle?
01:10:25My sister's cake.
01:10:27There you go.
01:10:28We might as well use it.
01:10:29Mm-hmm.
01:10:34Sometimes I envy Estelle.
01:10:37Having something to belong to.
01:10:40Something to believe in.
01:10:42But they are jolly good fellows.
01:10:44But they are jolly good fellows.
01:10:46Which nobody can deny.
01:10:50Ha-ha.
01:10:50Which nobody can deny.
01:10:53And nobody can deny.
01:10:56For they are jolly good fellows.
01:10:58For they are jolly good fellows.
01:11:01For they are jolly good fellows.
01:11:04Which nobody can deny.
01:11:07It was less than a few hours ago.
01:11:17I still thought someday I'd have a little flat with Malcolm.
01:11:21Maybe a family.
01:11:25Fantasies.
01:11:27How much they fulfill.
01:11:29The true sense of the word, they fill you up.
01:11:34When you've been away a while,
01:11:35you think your family has the potential to be the Brady Bunch,
01:11:39and it's just your bad attitude that's causing the rupture.
01:11:44But then you get home,
01:11:45and you realize that it's much more than that.
01:11:50That you never felt connected in the first place.
01:11:54And if you ever did,
01:11:56it was a long time ago.
01:12:05Why do we need to connect?
01:12:14The highest good we can strive for
01:12:18is to live with happiness and contentment.
01:12:22Webster's Dictionary defines contentment
01:12:24as the ability to be happy
01:12:28with what one has or is.
01:12:31Not desiring something more or different to be satisfied.
01:12:36The Bible tells us to bless those who persecute you.
01:12:41You needed anything, Pop?
01:12:46It's drafty in here.
01:12:48I'll get you some extra blankets, huh?
01:12:55Why can't we just get by alone?
01:13:00In our own little bubbles.
01:13:01Perhaps.
01:13:09We'll be there.
01:13:25We'll be there.
01:13:28Connections.
01:13:34They seem so fleeting.
01:13:41They come and go, but we want to hold on to them.
01:13:58Mottie, slow down.
01:14:22Life obviously involves a lot more alone time than it does together time.
01:14:28Even though together is what we seem to strive for.
01:14:58Oh, my God.
01:15:05My father, let me die, please.
01:15:08I thought I heard something.
01:15:25You scared me.
01:15:27You scared the shit out of me.
01:15:28What are you doing?
01:15:30I'm hiding.
01:15:32Don't tell.
01:15:33Well, why?
01:15:39Malcolm stole the car.
01:15:42No way.
01:15:45Are we going to bust him?
01:15:48I'm going to be back in New York.
01:15:50Here.
01:15:53I'm leaving Mom a full electronic explanation.
01:15:55Do you ever see Dad in New York?
01:16:02Sometimes.
01:16:03On holidays.
01:16:06He sent me a stuffed walrus last Christmas.
01:16:09Remember how I used to love walruses?
01:16:12When I was six.
01:16:13Yeah, well, I guess that's where he kind of left off.
01:16:20You're so lucky.
01:16:22I mean, you can just go.
01:16:23I'm still in prison.
01:16:26You'll be out soon.
01:16:29When I get older, I'm going to be a singer in a really cool band.
01:16:35I'm going to blow everyone away.
01:16:37You watch.
01:16:39And I'm going to go on tour all around the world.
01:16:44And my picture's going to be plastered everywhere.
01:16:49And when they want to see me, they're going to have to pay.
01:16:53Big time.
01:16:59Good night.
01:17:05I love you.
01:17:09I love you too, sis.
01:17:35You can just drop me off at SFO.
01:17:55I'll wait for the next flight.
01:17:57You sure you don't want to come across a bay?
01:18:00You can crash at my place for a while.
01:18:02No.
01:18:07I've got to get back to New York, you know?
01:18:09And recruit for the summer.
01:18:15I can get my old job back at school.
01:18:19Oh, I need the drive, though, you know?
01:18:22Clear my head.
01:18:24Clear out.
01:18:29Mike?
01:18:29Do you ever wonder what your kids will be like?
01:18:34I wonder if they'll have buck teeth like me.
01:18:39They'll have buck teeth.
01:18:43No.
01:18:44I mean, are they going to hate us as much as we hate our parents?
01:18:48Have you got the same screwed up relationships?
01:18:54Don't know.
01:18:57They say you end up just like your folks.
01:19:00Sorry.
01:19:18Sorry.
01:19:20Bong water.
01:19:21Come on.
01:19:26Mike.
01:19:26I can pull over, I think I need air.
01:19:56What's wrong?
01:20:13I just gotta know, things will be different.
01:20:25There's gotta be a chance, things will change.
01:20:33I mean, things will be different for us.
01:20:40They will be, when we have our own families, right?
01:20:49Come on.
01:20:54You can sleep in the car.
01:20:57I'll wake you when we get there.
01:21:02That was my last summer home.
01:21:05For a long time, anyway.
01:21:08I thought I'd walk away with all the answers, but I only ended up with more questions.
01:21:16I never did finish my book.
01:21:19Maybe it'll take a lifetime to get it right.
01:21:22Because the more I wonder, the more I write.
01:21:28I can do the more I write.
01:21:35I'm gonna pick up a friend and they'll love you.
01:21:41I'm gonna pick up a friend and I'll get here.
01:21:43I'll get you.

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