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  • 3 days ago
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00:13:29okay you girls ready yeah all right let's get this down all right okay do you start recording
00:13:39okay this is church of chills episode 226 segment three pre-recorded rehearsal the vile vivisectionist
00:13:50and the next terrifying tidbit straight out of victorian history is called dr jonas hope the
00:14:02vile vivisectionist of saint pancreas hospital back then doctors didn't know that they needed to wash
00:14:09their hands before surgery and the most well-known butcher i mean surgeon was dr jonas hope
00:14:17this guy loved nothing better than spending his days chopping off poor people's arms and legs
00:14:26well everybody needs a hobby but then one day a patient came in who had been freshly crushed
00:14:34under a falling brick wall oops i'll say the doctor proceeds to cut off both of this poor guy's arms
00:14:43and legs of course without benefit of anesthesia and he survives and then a demented light dawns on
00:14:51the doctor okay hold on hold on wait cut cut cut cut oh come jesus christ stop recording junie
00:15:00first of all i am the only one who gets to call cut here that's not true i call cut all the time
00:15:09yeah yeah you sure do but you're not supposed to all right the director calls cut the director me i'm
00:15:19the director and guess what the director calls cut really since when since when since always that's
00:15:25the rule the director calls cut no she means since when are you is this what you're doing here
00:15:34does this make you the director that is what you mean isn't it junie well actually i was referring
00:15:41to the general role of a director but sure yeah whatever let's go with that okay well why don't
00:15:46we go with my interpretation of your remarks no no no how about we go with the fact that i created
00:15:51the show and my name is on it and the fact that you two you work for me and i am the director
00:15:57and i'm the one who gets to call cut alex what why don't you just ask eddie why she called cut
00:16:05because i know why eddie called cut really yeah you want to bet on that what are you willing to bet
00:16:14hmm light of my life a criterion collection of your jess franco dvds are you kidding me i wouldn't bet
00:16:21that okay so how about this no more calling cut for this episode deal okay great well what happens
00:16:36if i win you girls can have everything i own okay no no wait that's a trick you don't actually own
00:16:45anything you fucker okay so what then you've got to be nice to us
00:16:50wait for how long forever seriously a week
00:17:01okay but just hold on a second okay
00:17:09what is this that is why eddie called cut
00:17:26you're a independent arbiter smile when you call me that stranger
00:17:33you may proceed finally thank you
00:17:41i wanted to point out that there are around two paragraphs missing about how patients
00:17:47were treated in those words that was all great stuff yeah yeah it really is
00:17:51as indeed all of your stuff is eddie you're brilliant but the show it's coming in long
00:17:59and it's got to come in on time and one of us has to be an adult here
00:18:03right and and you my love you don't make cuts
00:18:08juni please
00:18:12eddie's going to bitch about the ward material being cut
00:18:19there it is so much for having to be nice to you two bitches
00:18:26don't give me that sourpuss look eddie now let's reset for take two
00:18:34without any calling cuts
00:18:56and now it's time for alexander's church
00:19:11the next terrifying tidbit straight out of victorian history is called dr jonas hope the vile vivisectionist of saint pancras hospital
00:19:38you see back then doctors didn't understand that they needed to wash their hands before surgery
00:19:45and the most infamous butcher
00:19:50surgeon was dr jonas hope this guy loved nothing better than chopping off poor people's arms and legs
00:19:57well everybody needs a hobby
00:20:00one day a patient had come in who had been crushed by a falling brick wall oops i'll say
00:20:06oh dr jonas proceeded to cut off both of this poor guy's arms and legs
00:20:14of course without benefit of anesthesia and he survives
00:20:20and then suddenly a demented light dawned on the doctor
00:20:26he began to wonder just how much he could remove from a human being and have that patient survive
00:20:36he had plenty of raw material a hospital full of it
00:20:42the good doctor selected patients to bring to his uh special ward downstairs in his basement where he
00:20:48conducted his diabolical experiments
00:20:52and as for the screams well there were always screams coming from saint pancras
00:20:58but all good things and some horrible ones come to an end about 10 years later some busybodies
00:21:05started to ask questions and when they went to ask dr hope these questions he
00:21:11disappeared so they cut the heavy locks of that door and headed down into that basement and what did
00:21:16they find down there at first what they found didn't seem to be living at all let alone human
00:21:26they more resembled
00:21:30lines of damp leather bags with tubes coming from them leading to bottles tubes to bring in food and
00:21:37remove waste what were in those sacks just to bring bits of skull but no jaw
00:21:45no tongue no eyes no ears no skeleton no muscles just a few essential organs laced together god
00:21:58knows what those brains were thinking oh and the doctor succeeded no less than 33 times
00:22:08but what about dr hope where was he as it turns out dr hope had been using a cesspit to dispose of his
00:22:18discarded limbs when searchers closed in he'd attempted to use it as an escape route he didn't get very
00:22:25far they found him down there what was left of him and of course they couldn't explain the condition of the
00:22:33doctor's body the fact that it appeared as if it had been torn beaten strangled
00:22:44and by many groping hands nor could anyone explain the look of stark terror on dr hope's face
00:23:03what's the word that sounds like repugnant but it means that you don't want to um
00:23:17you know um reprehensible
00:23:23rep re and i would have thought of it but thank you
00:23:33so
00:23:47so
00:23:55so
00:24:01Hey, Alex?
00:24:21What?
00:24:23Take a look at this.
00:24:24There's a video that's got over half a million hits since yesterday.
00:24:27And growing.
00:24:31Oh, yeah.
00:24:36Good for them.
00:24:37Yours truly is not in the market of sending traffic to somebody else's bullshit website.
00:24:42Yeah.
00:24:43We've got our own bullshit website to worry about.
00:24:46Okay.
00:24:51He's got good taste, though.
00:24:52She is cute.
00:24:54What?
00:24:56We never put up anything that's fake.
00:24:59Of course we do.
00:25:01Bigfoot found alien footage.
00:25:03All that shit is fake.
00:25:04So this is different.
00:25:06It's viral marketing.
00:25:08You can tell.
00:25:09Oh, okay.
00:25:10I'm just...
00:25:11Yeah.
00:25:15See?
00:25:15There.
00:25:17How convenient.
00:25:18The name of the dumbass S&M club right there for everybody to see.
00:25:21A drink, a blowjob, and a moita.
00:25:23How scary.
00:25:28Have you ever been to one of these clubs, Junie?
00:25:30Seriously?
00:25:31It's like trying to go to a nude beach.
00:25:35You expect Sports Illustrated.
00:25:38But you get people like me.
00:25:42Ew.
00:25:44Yuck.
00:25:45Yeah, thanks.
00:25:46The point is, that's fucking staged.
00:25:49We could use some of those nice, juicy hits.
00:25:52I'm telling you that this sort of thing flows the other way.
00:25:55It sucks our viewers to them, not the other way around.
00:25:58Now, sugar pie, honey bunch, can we please get back to work?
00:26:04And don't give me that sourpuss look.
00:26:06So, I'll tell you that's a good one.
00:26:34Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:27:04Oh, oh, oh.
00:27:11What?
00:27:12Eddie, go get Alex.
00:27:25I need you to go get Alex.
00:27:27I'm just asleep.
00:27:30What's going on?
00:27:31I'm asleep. What's going on?
00:27:42Is this live?
00:27:45Alex!
00:27:48Alex! Get down here!
00:27:52Alex, wake up!
00:27:57Jesus fucking Christ!
00:28:01How many fucking times have I told you to stop doing that?
00:28:05Be nice!
00:28:06Fuck!
00:28:08What a piece of work is man!
00:28:13How noble in reason!
00:28:15How infinite in faculty!
00:28:18In form and movement!
00:28:20How express and admirable-
00:28:23Enough!
00:28:25Enough!
00:28:27What?
00:28:28Guys! Guys! Alex! Come here!
00:28:31Hellfire House is live streaming again!
00:28:33Are you fucking kidding me?
00:28:35That's why you woke me up?
00:28:37Just watch!
00:28:39I was so lucky!
00:28:40Oh...
00:28:42Oh...
00:28:46I'm so sorry!
00:28:49Oh...
00:28:51Oh Oh...
00:28:53Oh...
00:28:55Oh...
00:28:57Oh...
00:29:00Oh...
00:29:02Oh...
00:29:03Well, this one's an R.A.
00:29:33He must be giving him some sort of hypnotic drug.
00:29:36Oh, so you don't think it's actually his blood?
00:29:43Look, I don't know what this is.
00:29:45So you don't think this is a real-life, honest-to-gosh vampire live-streaming his killings?
00:29:51Alex, there doesn't have to be a real-life vampire for killings.
00:29:54Oh, okay, yeah, that makes sense.
00:29:56All the stuff where he's turning into a vampire, that's fake.
00:29:59But all the stuff where he's killing these chicks, that's real, that's what you believe?
00:30:02Seriously?
00:30:04I don't know, Alex, there's something about this.
00:30:07Matt?
00:30:13Matt?
00:30:15Oh, my God.
00:30:45Interesting, always surprises, I'm impressed.
00:30:58Usually when a woman mocks yourself in this way, the canvas of flesh quite overwhelms the
00:31:08illustrations. These are quite lovely.
00:31:22Do you have any tattoos? I'd love to see them.
00:31:27I'm afraid not, Martin.
00:31:38No!
00:31:54Wait.
00:31:56Can...
00:31:58Wind it back.
00:31:59What?
00:32:00The part where he's biting her, wind it back, I want to see something.
00:32:03Yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on.
00:32:08Did you catch it?
00:32:11Catch what?
00:32:12Just slide over.
00:32:21Jesus Christ, Alex.
00:32:23What the fuck?
00:32:24Yeah, this is getting weird, even for you.
00:32:26Just wait a second, okay? Fuck.
00:32:32There.
00:32:35You see it?
00:32:36See what?
00:32:37It's her jugular.
00:32:39No!
00:32:40God, no.
00:32:41Okay.
00:32:42The jugular is a vein in the neck right here.
00:32:46What you're probably thinking of is the exterior carotid arteries, which are year-in-year in the neck.
00:32:53But this, that's the axillary artery.
00:32:57It runs under the collar bone and provides blood to the shoulder and the arm.
00:33:04He's never gonna let us forget that he took a year of med school.
00:33:08Two and a half.
00:33:10Get it straight.
00:33:11Okay, so whatever the fuck this, um, monetary-
00:33:14Axillary, axillary artery.
00:33:16Okay, axillary artery.
00:33:18So?
00:33:19So?
00:33:20Why bother?
00:33:21If this is just viral marketing, why bother with this obscure anatomical detail?
00:33:31Well, it makes more sense, dramatically, to just go for the throat.
00:33:36Okay, so...
00:33:38Doesn't that mean that somehow or other this is all real?
00:33:45Yeah.
00:33:46I guess it does.
00:33:51Oh, fuck.
00:33:54Okay, so...
00:33:55What do we do about it?
00:34:00We're gonna air it.
00:34:03In the next show.
00:34:16No!
00:34:17No!
00:34:18No, no!
00:34:19No, no!
00:34:41No, no!
00:34:42And now, it's time for Alexander's Church of Jill.
00:35:03What is the point of this nonsense?
00:35:07Just watch, my lord.
00:35:10How did this happen?
00:35:12These dabblers.
00:35:15How did they find us?
00:35:17I don't know.
00:35:18I can't seem to track them down.
00:35:21They keep themselves hidden.
00:35:23Just as we do.
00:35:25No.
00:35:27Not as we do.
00:35:31They're close.
00:35:32Yes.
00:35:37Yes.
00:35:39In case you were wondering, the two Carnage House streams, they're both over 3.5 million hits.
00:36:08Go figure.
00:36:09Jesus, take a look at these numbers. 780,000, 790,000.
00:36:14Well, I scored that high.
00:36:16That's not them, Mastermind. This is us.
00:36:18Are you kidding me?
00:36:20Hey guys, take a look at this. Found another one.
00:36:24Another one what?
00:36:25Another Carnage House killing. But this one's different.
00:36:28What do you mean? Different how?
00:36:30It's old. It's gotta be the first one.
00:36:33Look, okay, see one and two? They're both over a million hits.
00:36:39This one, it's only got seven.
00:36:42Why would they pull that back?
00:36:44It must be some, some kind of rehearsal.
00:36:48Maybe it wasn't meant for streaming. Or maybe something went wrong or...
00:36:57Okay, well that seems to be everything on the punch list.
00:37:04We should check the mirrors.
00:37:06Of course.
00:37:07Oh, the new sign isn't in place.
00:37:28There's something there.
00:37:30Quir... Quirheim?
00:37:34Yes.
00:37:35It's the name of the home.
00:37:37But it's an old word. It means...
00:37:40House of blood.
00:37:44Oh.
00:37:46Not my blood.
00:37:48Blood of my family.
00:37:53All right.
00:37:56Oh.
00:37:57Excuse me.
00:37:58Okay, well it seems that everything's in order.
00:38:02So it seems.
00:38:05A little rough around the edges yet.
00:38:07You can see its final form starting to peak through its...
00:38:12Chrysalis.
00:38:15Uh, well yes.
00:38:17I suppose.
00:38:19Um...
00:38:21Okay, well.
00:38:22That is everything.
00:38:24So...
00:38:26Oh.
00:38:27God.
00:38:29What was I thinking?
00:38:31Yeah, I'm just going to sign the date.
00:38:35Is this completely necessary?
00:38:37Is this necessary?
00:38:53Great.
00:38:54Okay.
00:38:56Well, uh...
00:38:57I think that's everything then.
00:38:58So...
00:39:00I'm gonna...
00:39:02Get going.
00:39:03Can't be leaving yet.
00:39:04And we...
00:39:05Have to christen the place.
00:39:08Oh no.
00:39:09Um...
00:39:10No, I really...
00:39:11I don't have time for that.
00:39:13Please.
00:39:14Uh...
00:39:28Well...
00:39:33To extraordinary things.
00:39:35Yeah.
00:39:36To extraordinary things.
00:39:38We'll probably go out.
00:39:39Bye.
00:39:40Oh, God.
00:39:42See you next time.
00:39:43I'm sorry.
00:39:44Good to see you next time.
00:39:46Bye.
00:39:48Bye.
00:39:50Bye.
00:39:52Bye.
00:39:54Bye.
00:39:55Bye.
00:39:56Bye.
00:39:57Bye.
00:39:58Bye.
00:40:00Bye.
00:40:02Bye.
00:40:04Bye.
00:40:06Bye.
00:40:07Bye.
00:40:08Oh! Wow, that is some strong stuff.
00:40:17Yes, well, I found it necessary.
00:40:21Necessary?
00:40:22Necessary for creating a connection between us.
00:40:26Don't you feel a connection between us?
00:40:31Yeah, no, I, uh, I, well, I, uh, I really should, I gotta, I have to go.
00:40:37Oh, well, that would be a terrible waste, wouldn't you agree?
00:40:44There we are.
00:40:47A sad house so much finer you appear without those rags wrapped around you.
00:40:54A sacrifice perfect for the gods, ready to be laid on the altar.
00:41:00Yes, this was all meant to be.
00:41:08Yes.
00:41:10Digger!
00:41:10Digger!
00:41:12Digger!
00:41:12Digger!
00:41:12Digger!
00:41:13Digger!
00:41:14Digger!
00:41:15Digger!
00:41:16Digger!
00:41:17Digger!
00:41:18Digger!
00:41:19Digger!
00:41:20Digger!
00:41:21Digger!
00:41:22Digger!
00:41:23Digger!
00:41:24Digger!
00:41:25Digger!
00:41:26Digger!
00:41:27Digger!
00:41:28Digger!
00:41:29Digger!
00:41:30Digger!
00:41:31Digger!
00:41:32Digger!
00:41:33Mama.
00:41:43Mama.
00:41:45Please.
00:41:50Oh, no.
00:41:51No.
00:42:07Jesus.
00:42:09Some fucking rehearsal.
00:42:21I've heard that name before. It's some big old stately home or something, isn't it?
00:42:34Beats me.
00:42:52You'll find that your machines no longer work for now.
00:42:58What the hell?
00:43:03Fuck, he's right.
00:43:05Yes, I am.
00:43:07So do I have your attention now, Mr. Jarvis.
00:43:12Ladies.
00:43:14Holy shit.
00:43:16Alex, if he knows our names...
00:43:19Okay.
00:43:21You have our attention.
00:43:24What can we do for you?
00:43:26What you can do for me?
00:43:28I was thinking more along the lines of what you've done to me.
00:43:33By making public what I've chosen to keep private.
00:43:37I suspect you have no idea to what extent your thoughtlessness has inconvenienced me.
00:43:44What do you mean we made public?
00:43:47You livestream your thing to hundreds of thousands of people.
00:43:52Don't light that cigarette.
00:43:54In fact, I want you to stop smoking altogether.
00:43:58It's a sordid habit.
00:44:00A habit of weak men.
00:44:02And it pollutes the body.
00:44:05Dude, it's just a cigarette.
00:44:07Put it down.
00:44:09Down.
00:44:14Okay, I'm sorry.
00:44:16Mr. Jarvis.
00:44:18I plant my seeds very cautiously.
00:44:20That's why no one outside of my circle knows about us.
00:44:25That is, until now, because of you.
00:44:29You've chosen to imprudely scatter those seeds to the wind.
00:44:33I'm sorry.
00:44:34I...
00:44:35I didn't understand.
00:44:37I...
00:44:38I don't understand.
00:44:40I don't suppose you're willing to share why you want to do this seed scattering.
00:44:44Threaten us?
00:44:45I don't threaten people.
00:44:46If I considered you a danger to me, you would never have seen me coming.
00:44:59Th...
00:45:00Threaten us?
00:45:01I don't threaten people.
00:45:02If I considered you a danger to me, you would never have seen me coming.
00:45:12Then...
00:45:13I don't know what to explain?
00:45:16Or...
00:45:18To...
00:45:20I don't know.
00:45:23I guess I'm done.
00:45:25I...
00:45:26I...
00:45:27I mean, I'm done...
00:45:28I'm done guessing.
00:45:30Renfield.
00:45:32Junie, what?
00:45:33I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that, young lady.
00:45:37Um...
00:45:40Renfield is a character in the novel Dracula.
00:45:45It's a novel.
00:45:46Yes.
00:45:47I'm familiar with the work.
00:45:50Renfield is...
00:45:52How would you describe him?
00:45:55The gravelly, lunatic...
00:45:57Servant of the vampire.
00:46:00I... thought that...
00:46:03Maybe you thought about us...
00:46:05Like that.
00:46:06You're not far from wrong, Miss Coleman.
00:46:09But upon examination...
00:46:12It's obvious to me that you're all thoroughly trivial creatures.
00:46:17Not even useful to me as...
00:46:21Renfields.
00:46:22As you put it.
00:46:25Of course.
00:46:27You agree.
00:46:30Don't you?
00:46:33I don't know.
00:46:35Don't you?
00:46:37Yes.
00:46:39Huh.
00:46:41Yes, I agree.
00:46:43I mean...
00:46:44I...
00:46:46I...
00:46:48I can see exactly.
00:46:58Hey, they're gone!
00:47:01Sunlight!
00:47:03Shit, that's why he's gone.
00:47:04For now.
00:47:05Fuck!
00:47:06Fuck!
00:47:10Fuck!
00:47:11Alex? Alex? So what the fuck do we do now?
00:47:34I'll tell you what we're gonna do. The footage of the contractor lady. We air it tonight.
00:47:45Are you fucking crazy? Haven't we pissed him off enough?
00:47:49Well he obviously didn't want it aired. There's clearly something on there that he didn't want anyone to see so we're gonna let people see it.
00:47:56Seriously Alex you're fucking mental.
00:47:58Juniper what are you doing?
00:48:00What does it look like I'm doing Alex?
00:48:02You really think you're gonna be able to outrun this guy if he wants to find you?
00:48:05I think I have a better chance of outrunning him if I fucking run.
00:48:08God dammit where are my shoes? Where are my fucking shoes?
00:48:12Junie! Can you please just calm down?
00:48:14I am calm!
00:48:16Okay.
00:48:20Alex? I want my money. I need my money.
00:48:24Jesus Junie we didn't even discuss-
00:48:27Cut the bullshit! You always said we were equal partners in this. We have money.
00:48:31I'm dissolving the partnership.
00:48:34I need whatever part of the share that is mine okay?
00:48:37So go get that cash box Alex.
00:48:39I need my money.
00:48:41Junie can we just talk?
00:48:44Talk about what?
00:48:45Fine Eddie fine yeah go ahead talk talk about what?
00:48:49I just don't think that-
00:48:51That's right! There's nothing to talk about.
00:48:54Enough! Go get the cash box Alex.
00:48:59Alex.
00:49:06Fine!
00:49:15Seriously Alex you keep the key in the lock?
00:49:18What do you want from me? I would have lost it otherwise.
00:49:21Jesus Christ hurry up!
00:49:22Hey!
00:49:25I don't have time for this.
00:49:27We don't have time for this.
00:49:30Shit I didn't realize how broke we were.
00:49:32Seriously take a look around.
00:49:36Fine fine fine okay.
00:49:37Um $850.
00:49:39That's my share.
00:49:40I'm taking it.
00:49:44Junie please!
00:49:45Junie wait!
00:49:59Alex?
00:50:08Take care.
00:50:17I love you guys.
00:50:22Just do yourselves a favor.
00:50:24And run.
00:50:38Eddie.
00:50:40So...
00:50:45So...
00:50:47So we do what I fucking said, okay?
00:50:50We air it tonight.
00:50:51And we try to figure out why the fuck he didn't want anyone to see it.
00:50:54And... shit.
00:50:55I don't know. I don't know what the fuck else.
00:50:57I'm not fucking Van Helsing, Eddie.
00:50:59There are no fucking Van Helsings.
00:51:00Jesus Christ, Ox. Why the fuck are you yelling at me?
00:51:04What did I do?
00:51:05I do.
00:51:07What do you want from me?
00:51:08I don't know. I don't know. I'm sorry, okay?
00:51:10I know it's not your fault, but I'm just...
00:51:16It's crazy.
00:51:35Shit.
00:51:36Shit.
00:51:52Shit.
00:52:06Jesus Christ!
00:52:08Reading room.
00:52:09Oh.
00:52:10Well, I'm sorry, but you scared that.
00:52:13I mean, you scared me to death.
00:52:15I'm so sorry.
00:52:17I didn't mean to creep up on you.
00:52:20It's okay.
00:52:21I was just wondering if I might be able to help with this.
00:52:26I...
00:52:27I'm not sure.
00:52:31Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:52:33It's always getting tingled up in everything.
00:52:37Here, let me...
00:52:38It's okay.
00:52:41Hmm.
00:52:42Cry?
00:52:44Yes.
00:52:45I'm trying to find local history.
00:52:47Hmm.
00:52:49I'm sorry?
00:52:51I think I can help you.
00:52:54Really?
00:52:55Yes.
00:52:56I'll be back.
00:53:02Wow.
00:53:03Wow.
00:53:03Here it is.
00:53:22Krurheim Vampire Colts.
00:53:27Holy shit, it's here.
00:53:29Got it.
00:53:31Seriously, thanks.
00:53:32I would have never found this on my own, I swear.
00:53:34You are a fantastic librarian.
00:53:38Who said I was a librarian?
00:53:45Christ.
00:53:46Why does stuff like this always happen to me?
00:53:49Why does stuff like this always happen to me?
00:53:52No, let's just...
00:54:03Whoa.
00:54:04Go, God.
00:54:09Hi.
00:54:10What?
00:54:10Dude.
00:54:11Shut the hand you.
00:54:12Oh shit okay...
00:54:14Do you have to go.
00:54:16Come here.
00:54:16You man...
00:54:17Stupid name.
00:54:17Wait.
00:54:17Come here.
00:54:18Come here.
00:54:18Come here.
00:54:18Yeah!
00:54:19Come here.
00:54:19Come here.
00:54:20Come here.
00:54:21Jesus Christ, I'm sorry.
00:54:51Come on, you piece of shit, come on.
00:54:55Ow, god damn it.
00:54:58Oh, please forgive me, please forgive me.
00:55:01Okay.
00:55:21Oh, god damn it.
00:55:49Oh, god damn it.
00:56:17Oh, god damn it.
00:56:21Oh, god damn it.
00:56:27Oh, god damn it.
00:56:37Oh, god damn it.
00:56:47Oh, god damn it.
00:56:59Oh, god damn it.
00:57:11Hey Alex, I love what you've done with the place.
00:57:15What do you got?
00:57:27That's the place.
00:57:31It was built in 1880.
00:57:35Whatever he's doing now, he was trying to do the same thing back then.
00:57:39He just couldn't make it work.
00:57:41What is this book?
00:57:43Death calls through the ages.
00:57:45Let me read this to you.
00:57:47This is a quote.
00:57:49Oh, god damn it.
00:57:51Oh, god damn it.
00:57:53Oh, god damn it.
00:57:55Oh, god damn it.
00:57:57Oh, god damn it.
00:57:59Oh, god damn it.
00:58:01Oh, god damn it.
00:58:03Oh, god damn it.
00:58:04Oh, god damn it.
00:58:06Sure.
00:58:07You're done.
00:58:08Oh, god damn it.
00:58:09Okay.
00:58:10Oh, god damn it.
00:58:11Okay.
00:58:12Oh, god damn it.
00:58:13Oh, god damn it.
00:58:15Let me understand why I'm hungry.
00:58:18I can continue here.
00:58:21and horrible odors coming from the Kruherheim Mansion.
00:58:24Kruherheim Mansion?
00:58:26Right, that's that big closed-up place out by Regency Park.
00:58:29It's right here in town.
00:58:31Police conducted a raid in the summer of 1892.
00:58:34In the basement, they found the torn, decayed, and...
00:58:38partially devoured remains of over 200 women and children.
00:58:43Evidence suggested unholy ritualistic acts
00:58:46conducted both before and after death.
00:58:50Lovely.
00:58:52No trace was ever found of Valinor or his followers.
00:58:56Ownership of the mansion was passed to a single relative
00:58:59who has sealed up the property.
00:59:02It has been maintained unoccupied for over a century.
00:59:07Alex, look at this.
00:59:10Don't you see, Alex?
00:59:12It's them.
00:59:14All three of them.
00:59:16They haven't aged.
00:59:18Yeah, yeah, I see.
00:59:19This is what he's trying to do.
00:59:21It's what he's been trying to do since...
00:59:24since back then.
00:59:27This motherfucker isn't just looking for blood and tits.
00:59:30He's trying to destroy the whole fucking world.
00:59:32I mean, he hasn't had much luck, though, right?
00:59:34Because it's been, what, like a hundred and something years?
00:59:37God damn it, don't you get it?
00:59:38They didn't have live streaming back then.
00:59:41Don't you see what he's doing?
00:59:43He needs some critical mass.
00:59:50That's what all this is about.
00:59:52Look, see.
00:59:55The stars, just right.
00:59:58The number of worshippers, just right.
01:00:01The sacrifices, just right.
01:00:03The rituals, just...
01:00:04Jesus Christ, Alex.
01:00:11Don't give me that look.
01:00:14Don't tell me if you suddenly don't believe it.
01:00:17This is what's happening right now.
01:00:19Okay, right.
01:00:20So, what are we supposed to do?
01:00:22Go over there and stake him through the heart?
01:00:23They would kill us in two seconds.
01:00:26We can't just let this...
01:00:27Okay, let's just think about this, okay?
01:00:32He didn't want anybody to know this stuff, right?
01:00:35To know who he is, where he lives, what he's trying to do.
01:00:39So, we do, like I said.
01:00:41We put it up and let people see it.
01:00:44And maybe, you know, maybe that screws the whole thing up.
01:00:47It blows up the ritual.
01:00:48Alex.
01:00:49No, no, come on.
01:00:50We gotta get this streaming before sunset.
01:00:52Jesus, I don't know if we have the time.
01:00:54It doesn't matter.
01:00:55It's fine, come on.
01:00:55We'll get it streaming and just let it go.
01:00:57Come on.
01:01:18And now, it's time for Alexander's Church of Chills.
01:01:27This is an emergency broadcast.
01:01:30Listen, this is Kruerheim, built in the 1800s.
01:01:36It has been the scene of nightmares and murders.
01:01:40It still is.
01:01:42This man is Arturo Valinor.
01:01:45Only he's not just a man.
01:01:47He's something else.
01:01:50One of the undead.
01:01:52A vampire who feeds on human blood.
01:01:55He's there right now at Kruerheim.
01:01:58And what he was trying to do back then, he is still trying to do right now.
01:02:02He's trying to destroy the whole fucking...
01:02:05What the hell?
01:02:06What the hell?
01:02:08Alex, the feed.
01:02:09What happened to the feed?
01:02:11How should I know?
01:02:14It's him.
01:02:15Some of you, no doubt, have been tuning in to Mr. Jarvis's Church of Chills.
01:02:23We here at Kruerheim have been enjoying it all evening.
01:02:25But now, we have other business to attend to.
01:02:31I'm sure all of you will accept our invitation to take part in this ritual.
01:02:55Jesus.
01:02:57Alex, do you know how many people are watching this right now?
01:02:59Christ, Eddie, I don't think right now is the time for that.
01:03:02185.
01:03:04187.
01:03:05And that's just us.
01:03:06What the fuck?
01:03:08I mean, how did he even know that we were going to be stri...
01:03:11What are the numbers on his street?
01:03:13No good.
01:03:14He's locked us out again.
01:03:19Sangris Vita Last.
01:03:21Sangris Vita Last.
01:03:24And the
01:03:26English
01:03:26Two
01:03:27Three
01:03:28Three
01:03:28Three
01:03:29One
01:03:29Eight
01:03:30One
01:03:30Three
01:03:31Three
01:03:32Three
01:03:32Three
01:03:33Four
01:03:34Three
01:03:34Two
01:03:34Four
01:03:35Four
01:03:37One
01:03:37Four
01:03:38Three
01:03:40Seven
01:03:41Ten
01:03:41Ten
01:03:42Ten
01:03:43Six
01:03:44Ten
01:03:44Ten
01:03:45Ten
01:03:49Ten
01:03:51Ten
01:03:53Ten
01:03:53Ten
01:03:53Holy shit, this sacrifice, fuck, it's Junie!
01:03:59Oh my god, fuck, what do we do?
01:04:03Oh my god, fuck, fucking leave her alone, you asshole!
01:04:07Oh my god!
01:04:37Oh my god, what do you want from us?
01:04:51What do I want?
01:04:54What does a cat want with a mouse?
01:04:58Come on, let's go!
01:05:07He's gone!
01:05:26What a terrible shame.
01:05:55So pale and pure.
01:06:02Oh, if I have the time to truly enjoy...
01:06:07...your untouchable...
01:06:12...delights.
01:06:14...the two of these...
01:06:16...the two of these...
01:06:17...you long-toothed break!
01:06:19No!
01:06:21...the one of them all...
01:06:22...stop.
01:06:23...stop.
01:06:24...stop.
01:06:25...stop.
01:06:26Oh!
01:06:28No, no, no!
01:06:30There's someone down there.
01:07:00There's someone down there.
01:07:30Who's there?
01:07:48What?
01:07:49I thought I told you to stop smoking.
01:08:03I said, put it out.
01:08:10Junie.
01:08:14Junie, what happened?
01:08:20Are you okay?
01:08:21Yes, I'm quite all right.
01:08:25Everything turned out just as I had planned.
01:08:29I was worried for some time that you two fools wouldn't play your appointed roles.
01:08:36But in the end, you performed the final sacrifice admirably.
01:08:42I don't understand.
01:08:43What's going on?
01:08:44Yes, I was worried about that.
01:08:45Alex, you idiot.
01:08:46It's not Junie.
01:08:47What?
01:08:48Yes, I was worried about that.
01:08:49Alex, you idiot.
01:08:50It's not Junie.
01:08:51What?
01:08:52Listen to them.
01:08:53The children of the night.
01:08:59One music they made.
01:09:06One music they made.
01:09:07One music they made.
01:09:13One music they made.
01:09:14One music they made.
01:09:15One music they made.
01:09:20One music they made.
01:09:35One music they made.