- 7/13/2025
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Dear Wendy Jones, London was meant to be different.
00:10I was supposed to be off having intercourse with a handsome stranger in a chic members
00:14club, not setting fire to my life again.
00:17Only this time it's literal.
00:19It's literal fire.
00:20And what happened to you?
00:22Oh, I had an accident.
00:25I'm not maimed, but I am a bit crispy.
00:30Apparently, I can leave my COO.
00:32That stands for country of origin, something you probably don't get because you're dumb.
00:35But I cannot leave my own chaos.
00:46Sarnay?
00:47No, thank you.
00:48No, thank you, nurse on the Sarnay.
00:50I don't need a Sarnay.
00:50I need actual pain medication, like Dilaudin or ketamine or even Demerol at this point.
00:55Just give me an epidural.
00:57I don't care.
00:57Well, you're, um, you do some paracetamol if you're in pain now.
01:00If I'm in pain now, I've been in pain for 24 hours.
01:04I mean, I know my face is stunning and untouched, but I have a horrible burn under my dress.
01:08Do you care?
01:09You have such a nice face, but you're a really, really bad nurse, sister.
01:12I'm not kidding.
01:14I mean, you're giving me pills I could get at a bodega.
01:16I can't give you anything else.
01:17Well, then we'll find ourselves at a standstill.
01:21Oh, but if you come visit me at Angel's Aesthetica in Marlebone, right, on a Monday or a Wednesday,
01:27I do injections there, do, like, Botox fillers.
01:29I mean, my speciality is a lip flip, and we prescribe Valiums, too.
01:35I will take the sandwich.
01:39Enjoy your Sarnay.
01:41Oh, my gosh.
01:47Come on.
01:48Let's get out of here.
01:49Oh, my God.
01:49How did you get in here after?
01:51She's not allowed in here.
01:52Dog's on an on grotto.
01:53Let's go.
01:54What are you doing?
01:55I can't go.
01:56I'm an injured person in an injured place where you take care of injured people, and I have an IV.
02:02Close your eyes.
02:03Close your eyes.
02:04Close your eyes.
02:05Okay.
02:06Ow!
02:06Let's go.
02:07I've got issues.
02:08Okay.
02:08One second.
02:09Stop making so much fucking noise.
02:10Okay.
02:11We don't need those.
02:11Okay.
02:12All right, fine.
02:12No, I don't know.
02:16I feel like I'm going to stand out or something.
02:19No, no.
02:21Oh, you can check.
02:23Sorry, sir.
02:25Oh, sorry, dude.
02:27Sorry.
02:28Oh, God.
02:30It's like...
02:31It's like I'm going to have a friend in the village.
02:34Sorry!
02:36I didn't sign anything.
02:37Are the police going to come after me?
02:38National Health Service's queen.
02:41Oh.
02:41Do you know what that is?
02:43We all got a proper email about it during COVID.
02:45It's quite a big deal here.
02:47Are you driving with me or what?
02:49Oh, fuck.
02:51You don't have to be so aggressive to me about it.
02:54It's a simple mistake.
02:55Cold?
02:57Oh.
02:58Oh, my God.
02:59Fuck.
03:00Oh, fuck.
03:01Sorry.
03:01Sorry.
03:02Let me get this out of the way.
03:03Oh, wow.
03:04There's a lot of...
03:05Sorry, dog.
03:06There's a bit ashy in here.
03:07Stuff going on.
03:08There's a lot of cans down there.
03:11Thirsty.
03:11Sorry.
03:12Don't worry about that noise.
03:13That's just, I think, the battery's running out or something.
03:16Should we be driving this car?
03:18It's like...
03:19Been in my car for ages.
03:22Okay.
03:22I guess we're not buckling up.
03:24Wow.
03:25Smoking near a burn victim.
03:26That's really bold of you.
03:27I mean, being a burn victim's pretty retro.
03:31Okay.
03:35You know, it's funny, because you set yourself on fire,
03:40and I want to set this car on fire.
03:42What?
03:43How?
03:45It's just like a big night.
03:46It's not actually an interesting sign.
03:49Just for the record, I didn't light myself on fire.
03:52Fire lit me on fire, so...
03:55Okay.
03:55I'm so sorry that he's smoking.
03:59You hate this, though.
04:01Fucking hell.
04:01All right.
04:02Fuck you.
04:03Fuck you.
04:03It's gone.
04:04She hates it.
04:06I can't believe that I trusted a guy I met at a bar with my princess.
04:11We didn't meet at a bar.
04:13We met at a pub.
04:14Why?
04:15We met at a pub?
04:16Okay.
04:16You want us going, governor?
04:18Yeah, right.
04:18So that is, just so you know,
04:20the most annoying genre of American humour.
04:22Just like saying what we've said back to us,
04:24but in a way, the EastEnders would.
04:26You're not charmed by me?
04:28That is a really needy question.
04:30I'm not needy!
04:31It's a needy question.
04:32I'm not.
04:33That's a needy question.
04:34You're needy.
04:34I don't need anything.
04:35I'm a chill little girl.
04:36I'm normal chill.
04:38I'm independent.
04:38I don't need any validation from you.
04:40I don't need a tea.
04:50Thanks.
04:53I love night tea.
04:55I would normally try to hide this look from you, you know?
04:57But fuck it.
04:58This is who I am.
05:00I wear a pioneer nightgown.
05:01If I was a superhero, this would be my costume.
05:04What would your name be, though?
05:05Or, like, what would your superpower be?
05:07I guess the name Pioneer Woman and the Power Eroding Boundaries.
05:12Nice.
05:15Oh, fuck. It's already 5am. I have to get up in a couple hours for work.
05:20You hungry, by the way?
05:22Do you want one of these?
05:24What is that?
05:25Jaffa cake.
05:27You don't know what a jaffa cake is?
05:29It's basically like a melange of chocolate and orange on the top, and then on the bottom it's like,
05:33well, actually, there was a bit of an outcry about the name of them,
05:39because basically they tax biscuits, but they don't tax cakes.
05:45So basically the jaffa cake people had to go to court to, like, prove that they're cakes,
05:51because they do sort of seem like biscuits, but they come in a sleeve.
05:55A little trivia.
05:56Yeah, just a bit of a Felix fact.
05:58I actually really like trivia.
05:59It makes me feel sort of calm, but also kind of weirdly powerful.
06:07Hmm.
06:12Why did you come?
06:20I don't know.
06:20That's my big dress.
06:34You have, like, a lot of layers on it.
06:54It looks like you're going snowboarding or something.
06:57No, I'm sorry.
06:58So why are you wearing it?
07:00If it was not done.
07:01Oh.
07:01Okay.
07:04I'm painting it, okay?
07:30Oh, let's find out.
07:33Okay.
07:34Thanks.
07:54It doesn't hurt.
07:55Like, I'm not pushing on the burn best now.
07:58No.
07:59So you'd get better if I, like, come on.
08:00Yeah, no, I...
08:01Like, more this side.
08:02Please have to stop talking.
08:03I just want to be distracted, okay?
08:05Okay.
08:06You like acting like you're on a talk show.
08:08Sure.
08:08Well, that's a lot of eye contact.
08:11You don't like eye contact?
08:25No, I mean, I don't hate it.
08:26It's just, I don't know, maybe more of a third date thing in this country.
08:30How would an English girl do it?
08:34Yeah.
08:35Yeah.
08:35Yeah.
08:35Yeah.
08:40This is how I steal your soul.
08:44You have to look at me.
08:48I've never had sex before.
08:50Fuck you.
08:50This is my first time.
08:52Fuck you.
08:52You look really different to how you did yesterday.
09:07How so?
09:09I don't know.
09:09Like, manager of a bank or something?
09:13A bank manager?
09:14Yeah, but in a good way.
09:16I have a job.
09:17I can't just wear whatever I want.
09:19I can't, like, wear a tutu or something.
09:21Well, neither can I.
09:23You have to wear shoes in most places these days, don't you?
09:25I mean, what am I supposed to wear?
09:27Like, a big, big t-shirt like you?
09:28Hey, I like this t-shirt.
09:30It's cozy.
09:31Mm-mm.
09:31And it sort of makes my head look small.
09:33Have you noticed?
09:34It has, like, a tiny head effect.
09:35Yeah.
09:36I love the tiny head effect.
09:37It's just so hot.
09:38It looks like it's on a stick.
09:39It's making me wet.
09:40I'm going to slip out of my business suit.
09:43So do you think you're going to go, or...?
09:47Yeah, at some point.
09:51Okay.
09:52Good to know.
09:53Make yourself comfortable.
09:56Should I see you again, or...?
09:58I mean, I think it would be kind of weird
10:00if you spent all day in my house
10:01and then I didn't see you again.
10:03One hour.
10:04Or, like, four hours, maybe.
10:06Okay, I'll get out of your hair, then.
10:08What is your job, by the way?
10:10I'm a stripper.
10:11I was on a plane with the wine.
10:13You could call me Whitley.
10:14I call the hell mine.
10:16Listen, I'm the baddest in the school.
10:17I'm the baddest in the game.
10:18What's up, boy?
10:19Excuse me, honey, but nobody's in my lane.
10:21When you was in New York, you was fucking a Yankee.
10:23I was fucking with bass.
10:25I was pitching to Frankie.
10:26These bitches so cranky.
10:27Rid him a hanky.
10:28My mommy, I'm cold.
10:30Give me my...
10:30So, we got this.
10:33It's ours.
10:35When we say Pippin Partners' Christmas advert,
10:38what we're really talking about is a moment in the year.
10:42One single moment when the culture comes together.
10:46You see, this is not some posh, woke, John Lewis bullshit.
10:50This is populist and pure.
10:54That's why we're so excited to have Rita Ora.
10:56Mmm, my Albanian duchess.
10:59The thing I love about Rita as Santa is we're subverting expectation while playing into it totally.
11:06She is exactly what Santa is not.
11:08We still have to make it nice and feminist.
11:12Josie, you can handle that, can't you?
11:14You know about that stuff.
11:15Sure.
11:15Yeah, I'll relish that opportunity.
11:17Yeah, I want you to get Santa McCartney on the calendar for this week.
11:21She's expressed an interest in collaborating on the Santa Bikini.
11:27Santa Bikini.
11:28I am screaming.
11:31Um.
11:31Oh, uh, and of course, welcome to...
11:35Jessica.
11:36Jessica.
11:37A new line producer all the way from New York.
11:40Yeah, I mean, it's such an honour.
11:42I feel like I'm going to be a part of...
11:43Yeah, all very well.
11:45I've prepared a little something.
11:47Uh, I trust that, uh, you're settling in.
11:50Of course, if you need anything at all, just ask.
11:52Well, not me, but, yeah, someone.
11:54I'm Josie.
11:55It's nice to meet you.
11:56Nice to meet you.
11:57Nice hat.
11:58It is so good to see you.
12:01We worked together in the New York office.
12:04Um, you were the creative director on the Converse-Avril Lavigne campaign.
12:08Yeah, you know, um, I've been here almost a year,
12:12and honestly, it's so hard for me to remember my whole life.
12:17Sorry.
12:17It's not about you.
12:18It's about me.
12:19It's about America.
12:20You get it.
12:21Kim's expat social media has massively taken off.
12:24It's crazy.
12:25You've got to follow at Font Voyage.
12:28I'm boss, by the way.
12:29I started out here as Kim's assistant.
12:30He is still, in fact, my assistant.
12:32It's been really hard not to just get swept up into ideating lately,
12:36especially since I published my experimental PDF novel to much acclaim.
12:39Seriously, sales have gone fucking insane.
12:43I was able to buy a Balenciaga fanny pack with the proceeds.
12:45Which he lost at a Raven Dalston.
12:47I didn't lose it.
12:48I gifted it to that course of Anthropel, and it was Vauxhall.
12:52Anyway.
12:56Oh, my God.
12:57Oh, my God.
12:57Oh, my God.
12:57Oh, my God.
12:58Did you see that?
12:59He's obsessed with me.
12:59It's crazy.
13:00He's, like, married to a woman.
13:02He's got BCE.
13:04Seriously, big, closeted energy.
13:07Meanwhile, Kim wants to lick out his assistant.
13:09I'm calling HR.
13:10I'm calling HR right back on you, honey.
13:12How queer are you?
13:13Oh, no, not really gay.
13:16I mean, I love gay people and everything that's maybe one day I will be,
13:20but I'm actually seeing someone here in London, this really, like, cool guy.
13:25He's this indie musician that I met at a pub.
13:29Really tall guy.
13:31Wow.
13:31Yeah.
13:32An indie musician who plays at pubs for a tuppence, and you hit one of those.
13:36She don't like her eggs all runny.
13:39She thinks crossing her legs is funny.
13:43She looks down.
13:44Her nose have money.
13:46She gets it.
13:47I just encourage everyone to make a list of everything they want to experience
14:15before we're living in a fucking dystopia.
14:18Hug a polar bear.
14:20Kiss a butterfly.
14:22As much as I'd like to help Belinda locate a butterfly's mouth,
14:26we are here for a purpose.
14:28To discuss an emissions protest that can actually make an impact.
14:31Okay.
14:32Uh, excuse me.
14:34What about...
14:35Felix.
14:36Felix.
14:37Mm-hmm.
14:38What's up?
14:40Felix.
14:40Felix.
14:40My lust for Belinda is sickening.
14:44Her body is like a tanned dolphin arcing out of the water.
14:47I feel really dirty about it, but, um...
14:49She's, like, 20 years old.
14:50In fact, she, like, she's literally 20 years old.
14:53As if you don't shack plenty of 20 years old.
14:54I'm a decade younger than you, mate.
14:56Once you're more than 10 years older, I've got some news for you.
14:59We are all daddy.
15:01Why are you doing this again?
15:03They eat your food.
15:04They fuck up your furniture.
15:05Someone's taking the door off my bedroom.
15:07I do it because I want to build a better world for the children
15:09that I'm not ready to have yet and may never want.
15:12Listen, do I want to get laid after the years of frigid hell
15:16my ex-wife put me through before ultimately leaving
15:19to then go and live on a barge?
15:21Yes.
15:22You're going to ask me how I am?
15:23How are you, Felix?
15:25If I tell you what's on my mind, are you going to be nice about it
15:27or do you think you're going to be a dick about it?
15:29Oh, well, that depends on what you tell me.
15:33I think I met someone.
15:37Well, and, well, you always think you've met someone.
15:42I think it might be different this time.
15:46Since the last one.
15:48Just stop being a dick about it.
15:50I'm not being a dick.
15:51I'm protecting.
15:51I'm protecting.
15:51I'm looking.
15:53There's a fucking smell now.
15:57Hey.
15:59What you doing?
16:00Oh, just comparing prices on two sound stages, of course.
16:03Hmm, fun.
16:05I'm making a playlist for my friend.
16:07She just got dumped by Cruz Beckham,
16:09which is pretty much the lowest thing that's ever happened to anyone.
16:11Do you want to hear?
16:12Um, oh, you probably don't want my take.
16:14Me, my ex-wife, said I had a horrible taste in music.
16:16It's not your fault, I've ruined everything.
16:20And it's not your fault, I can't be what you need.
16:23Baby, angels like you can fly down here with me.
16:29I'm trying.
16:30I'm everything they said I would need.
16:35What?
16:36It's nothing.
16:37I just...
16:38It's not real music.
16:39It's manufactured bullshit.
16:41Come on, you're too smart to fall for that.
16:43I'm not falling for anything.
16:46She's on a different level.
16:48I mean, she is commentary on the manufactured pop star.
16:52She's been commenting on it since her Disney days.
16:55What?
16:56She is.
16:59Don't make me feel stupid for loving things.
17:01Oh, sad.
17:03But what about this new guy you're seeing?
17:05Do we like him?
17:06Can we trust him?
17:07Is he for real?
17:08Or is he like a trauma bonder, gaslighter, narcissist, tender swindler?
17:13Oh, uh, he's nice.
17:16He's just that kind of guy.
17:17He's really kind.
17:19How long have you known him?
17:20Like two days.
17:22Like two days.
17:23She's known him two days.
17:24A lot of life can happen in two days.
17:27Then it's two weeks.
17:28Then it's two years.
17:30You live a life full of love.
17:33And then one day, he says he wants a baby.
17:38And you say, I'm not sure.
17:41Then he meets a barista in Silver Lake, and she gets pregnant.
17:46And this kind of thing can happen, even if someone who looks like me.
17:51Um, sorry.
17:52Apologies.
17:52Excuse me.
17:53Oh, no, no, no, no.
17:54No, no.
17:55Carry on.
17:57I encourage feelings.
17:58Good, because I have a few.
18:00I had to break up with my ex a while ago.
18:02He did not have the emotional intelligence necessary to deal with dating someone whose
18:07love language is being a bitch in a fun way.
18:12Listen, what we're saying is don't get too comfortable too quickly, right?
18:16Stay vigilant.
18:17Seriously, me and Kim are going out later.
18:19It's actually international outfit of the day, eh?
18:22It's my favorite holiday.
18:23Come with.
18:24There'll be fun people that I met on the Looking for Friends setting on Raya.
18:27Mm-hmm.
18:28An artisanal e-cigarette designer.
18:29The guy who supplies cobalt to Cartier, this ripped footballer we know, who's, like, obsessed,
18:35sexually obsessed with intellectual women.
18:38So, like, don't set your life on fire for a rando you met on the street.
18:40Fuck a different rando.
18:41Thanks, guys.
18:43That makes me feel amazing.
18:45Yeah.
18:46I want to stop the chaos, Wendy.
18:48And when I trust my own instincts, chaos always follows.
18:51I mean, these people must know better than me.
18:53Everyone knows better than me.
18:55It's coming your way, mate.
18:56Watch out.
18:56Oh, right.
18:57Yeah, okay.
18:57The Great Wall of Peckham.
18:58Sorry.
19:02Yeah, you haven't felt like this before.
19:04Not since the folk singer or the corset designer or the Ukrainian refugee influencer.
19:10They all feel so different.
19:11And then, inevitably, it's too real and you're scared to end it.
19:15So, you stay with them for six months and get a second girlfriend.
19:17Hey, never a second girlfriend.
19:19Yeah, but what about Linnea or Nadia?
19:20Have you broken up with them?
19:22Linnea left the pub in a huff because she wanted to go to a restaurant with proper cloth napkins or something.
19:28Fair enough.
19:28Nadia, I think, is on holiday with her gran.
19:31All right.
19:31But she hasn't texted me more than, like, I don't know, once or twice a day.
19:36Naughty boy.
19:37No pub for you.
19:38You know what you have to do if you really think this is so different.
19:42All right, fine.
19:43Fine.
19:45I'll do that.
19:57Whoa.
19:58Hi.
19:58Sorry to drop by.
20:00I just wanted to say that I've...
20:01Oh, so you've come here for your punishment.
20:03Pardon?
20:06Linnea.
20:07I know your game, mister.
20:10Act like you don't give a shit.
20:12Try and pull me closer.
20:13Do you, though?
20:14Because I've been trying to say that my circumstances have changed.
20:17That I'm sort of trying to...
20:18That's really tight.
20:19Hey, okay.
20:20I'm trying to change with them.
20:22Ugh.
20:22Things don't feel like they've changed.
20:26Ugh.
20:26You've got a big, erect penis.
20:30Yep.
20:31You're obsessed with me.
20:34And that makes you angry.
20:35You're like, wow, she's everything I thought I never deserved.
20:40So you run.
20:42And you act poorly just to spit in the face of a blessing.
20:45Well...
20:46What the fuck?
20:48Do you just spit on my chin?
20:50Resist me.
20:50Oh.
20:51Yeah, I think I might have met someone else.
20:54Yeah.
20:55That's perfect.
20:56No, as in, like, Nia?
20:58Oh, no.
20:58No.
20:59Yeah, it's getting better.
21:00Thank you for your support.
21:02It's all good.
21:03Word needs more kindness.
21:04And, you know, whenever you did it on purpose, I don't care.
21:07But you still deserve empathy since I'm here.
21:09Wait, I didn't do it on purpose.
21:11How come as soon as an intense woman meets a flame, people yell, witch?
21:14I'm actually just heading out, so...
21:17Yeah?
21:18Mm-hmm.
21:18Bit of romance?
21:19What's...what's her name?
21:22Um, his name is football player.
21:24He's a football player.
21:25Um...
21:26Where?
21:26But it's never gonna work out.
21:27I mean, I have the muscle tone of a newborn, so...
21:29Oh, listen.
21:31Don't be nervous.
21:32Do not be nervous.
21:33Listen to me.
21:34Wags have curves, and you've got a BBA.
21:37Big, beautiful ass.
21:39Okay.
21:40So just relax, and, uh, actually, I can teach you some English slang.
21:44Okay, I've got to head out.
21:44Yeah, you can use it.
21:45Use it on your day.
21:46Really, really impressive.
21:47You can use it to me.
21:49Um...
21:50Blosser.
21:52Do you know that one?
21:53Sure.
21:53One of them.
21:56Yeah, that's helpful.
21:57Get your leg over.
21:59It's having sex.
22:00Cottaging.
22:00Never heard of that.
22:01So that's what George Michael went to jail for.
22:03But this was before he went and drove his car into a Snappy Snaps in Hampstead.
22:07Okay, do you have all the things that you came with?
22:11Do you know what company's?
22:13Let's get going.
22:14Let's get out of here.
22:15Okay.
22:16It's really fancy.
22:17She needs a lip.
22:18She needs a lip.
22:19She needs a lip, like now.
22:20Like right now.
22:21How many lipsticks?
22:22You look like a cartoon secretary.
22:23What's going on with you?
22:25Open?
22:25Is that padded?
22:26No.
22:26That's weirder.
22:27Take off your tights.
22:28Take off the tights.
22:29Can I approach the consent to approach up in the...
22:32I'm going to take it from the air.
22:52Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.
22:54Hi, hi, hi, hi.
22:55How's it going?
22:56Pavel, this is Jessica.
22:59Hi.
23:00Nice to meet you.
23:01Nice to meet you too.
23:03I'm Pavel.
23:04Okay.
23:05Yeah, I play for Leighton Orient.
23:08But my passion project is the line of denim I'm working on for Puhu Men.
23:15But shh.
23:15I won't tell.
23:18So what are you all about?
23:20Well, first of all, congratulations on your accomplishments.
23:23A line of denim.
23:25What?
23:26Hey, I know you're nervous to be around someone so structurally attractive.
23:29But he can sense sarcasm.
23:32That does translate.
23:32So cool it, okay?
23:34I'm kidding.
23:34That's awesome.
23:36Yeah.
23:36Football.
23:37What the hell?
23:38Is that hard?
23:39I don't know much about that.
23:40Is it hard?
23:41Yeah.
23:42It's hard.
23:42I kick the ball and I can pay for my ex's vent every month.
23:46Even though she's living with my, what's the word, cousin?
23:50Damn, that's ice cold.
23:52Yeah.
23:53Totally.
23:54My ex doesn't drive.
23:55He has spatial awareness issues.
23:57But, um, it doesn't matter.
24:00Who cares?
24:00I'm not thinking about him.
24:02I'm thinking about you.
24:03Who cares?
24:06Get to know you over this amazing dinner.
24:09All right, then.
24:11So.
24:12No, no, no.
24:13Stop.
24:14Hey.
24:15You're funny, Nova.
24:16Really?
24:17What did I say that was funny?
24:18Yeah, you, you make funny faces.
24:22Hey, who am I?
24:24Perfect.
24:24Yeah, something like that.
24:26I love your intonations.
24:28Really?
24:28Yeah, like how you're saying that.
24:31What did she say?
24:32She said she likes me.
24:34Can't wait to have anal sex with you.
24:37Really cool.
24:40I'm kidding.
24:41Kidding.
24:42It'd be crazy if we had anal sex on the first night that we met.
24:45You can't say the anal's crazy.
24:47I've never done it before.
24:48Doesn't matter.
24:49Not that I would never, but I just.
24:52So it's a gross thing.
24:54It's gross.
24:54I don't think it's gross.
24:55I just think I should, you know, take a class or something first.
24:58What is happening now?
25:03Oh, you think that's funny?
25:05You think that's funny?
25:06It's not that kind of laughing.
25:07It's not funny.
25:09It's not fucking funny, you pathetic baby man.
25:16Yeah.
25:17Yeah.
25:18You don't like me.
25:20Oh.
25:21You don't respect me.
25:23So why, why have you been hanging around?
25:26Hey.
25:30I'm not dumb, okay?
25:33I know you don't really like me.
25:36No one likes me.
25:37That's not true.
25:38You know, I bet your mum likes you like she probably loves you.
25:44I fucking hate this plume.
25:49You're a nice guy, okay?
25:51But next time you date someone and you realise that they're not for you, don't pretend and slowly back out the door, because I could feel you going.
26:02Um, could you please untie my feet?
26:13Uh, feet?
26:13The feet bits.
26:15Sorry.
26:15Come here.
26:23Come here.
26:26I'm sorry.
26:36I'm sorry.
26:36Okay.
26:36I'm sorry.
26:40I was like all of, it was all really like super hot and sexy.
26:46I just, I just, yeah, like so mad impressively, you're so, like just in it and, I really tried.
26:59Hi, Jason, you're right, my parents aren't proud, but that's because, like 16% of the American population, they are addicts.
27:09But, my grandma's super proud because I just bought her a house.
27:13Oh, also, say hi to your dad, because we've been fucking and I'm your step-mommy now.
27:18Here's the thing, Wendy, I used to be afraid that the crisis was coming for me, and now I'm realising what if I am the crisis?
27:31And, you know, if I just toned it down, or if I just speak when spoken to, or just behave in general, maybe I could keep it at bay.
27:41Jessica?
27:43Uh, one, hi, one second.
27:48One second.
27:51Hey, hi.
27:53What's up?
27:54What were you, talking to you or something?
27:56You're like an M. Night Shyamalan movie in there, are you good?
27:59Um, yeah, no, it's, it's not what it looks like.
28:01I, I just make these little videos on my phone.
28:04It's technically social media videos, but my account is private, so it's just for me.
28:08Just a way to express myself, you know, let it loose.
28:11Just a way for me to let loose.
28:13Dear Wendy Jones, today would have been seven of my seventh anniversary.
28:17I imagine myself encircled in roses in a luxury hotel in the Caribbean, but instead, I'm like the goth boy in American Beauty, filming all the garbage I so deeply relate to.
28:28Uh, so I'll edit it.
28:31Thank you, that actually means a lot to me.
28:33Who is Wendy?
28:36Fiction, nonfiction?
28:38She's your sister and she died or something, I'm...
28:40No, no, no, my sister's alive.
28:42She's just, like, really severely depressed.
28:44Wendy is my ex's fiancée.
28:47Your ex-fiancée?
28:48No, no, my, um, ex's fiancée, uh, the woman that he left me for.
28:53Um, and the worst part is that I can't even hate her because she pulled herself out of foster care by the bootstraps and, um, she has really unique, awesome style.
29:02She's really beautiful woman.
29:04She's a beautiful woman.
29:05It's as simple as that.
29:07You can hate her.
29:08You don't need a Zoom.
29:11No, you can definitely hate her.
29:14And, and you talk to her.
29:16And you like that.
29:17It, it feels nice talking to the woman that your ex is digging down.
29:20I'm genuinely asking because for me, the maths, they don't math.
29:27Yeah, I mean, in my head, she's talking back.
29:29She's saying things back sometimes.
29:31Yeah, always, all the time, she's always, like...
29:34You know, you seem intense and, and really worked up.
29:39But this shows me you're doing an excellent job of keeping it on lock in public.
29:44Um, I'm just trying to do what I can to survive.
29:47Huh.
29:49I know the feeling.
29:51Uh, I'll see you out there, yeah?
29:53Kim, I literally don't know which way is up anymore.
29:57Sorry, I'm such a fucking mess.
29:59Um, you're not a mess.
30:02You're, you're a work in progress.
30:05It's simple.
30:06You just listen to yourself, yeah?
30:08Thank you, Kim.
30:09I would hug you, but you're almost out the door.
30:11I'll just hug you in my mind.
30:12Hugging back.
30:17Oh, here you are.
30:19What did I miss?
30:21Hmm, you've gone for a long time.
30:24You were pooping?
30:26No, I wasn't pooping.
30:28Um, I was doing, it doesn't matter.
30:31It doesn't matter.
30:33Are you, okay.
30:36Mocking me.
30:37Because you're a messy one, aren't you?
30:43Me?
30:44Yeah.
30:44I look at you, at your lips.
30:49Sorry, I mean, I just, um, I hate that word.
30:52Like a diss that's risen in popularity in the last five years.
30:57I mean, you know, everyone being like, I'm a mess.
31:00This shit's messy.
31:01Women online being like, I'm a mess.
31:04I choose chaos.
31:05But would a man ever be told that he's a mess?
31:08No.
31:09Like you, Pavel.
31:10I mean, a quick bathroom Google showed me that you have a wife and two-year-old twins.
31:14And yet, here you are, hoping to fuck one of us.
31:18Is it me?
31:19We don't know.
31:20Yeah.
31:21Actually, my twins are three years old.
31:25Okay, that's fucking messy.
31:27And yet, you get a freebie, right?
31:29Because why?
31:30Because you never lit yourself on fire.
31:33Something that I also haven't done, obviously.
31:36So yeah, I guess by the world's standards, I'm messy.
31:39But actually, I'm a work in progress.
31:41Because I know who I am and I know what I want.
31:44And I'm listening to myself.
31:47Right, Kim?
31:49I didn't mean for you to start immediately, but go off.
31:53She goes hard in the paint.
31:54And you know what?
31:54The guy that I've been seeing for the last 46 hours, he doesn't care.
31:59He doesn't care.
32:01And if that makes him a love-bombing gaslighter, then okay, I guess.
32:04Then I guess I'm dating a love-bomber.
32:08I mean, I guess, yeah, I guess I'd choose Chaos.
32:12Or actually, you know what?
32:13Chaos chose me.
32:15Because I'm fucking irresistible!
32:20She's amazing.
32:22Actually, yeah, she's amazing.
32:30She's amazing.
32:46I don't think she likes wearing that.
33:02How do you know that?
33:04Just a vibe.
33:06I think she's a naturist.
33:09What's a naturist like, David Attenborough?
33:12No, a naturist is someone who gets naked for sport.
33:15Hi, by the way.
33:15Hi.
33:16Sorry, that was weird.
33:17Um, I think you mean a nudist.
33:20Like my dad's friend Skip used to get naked and jump in the pool and freak us all out.
33:24Uh, no, that sounds to me like Skip was just a full-on pervert.
33:28Yeah.
33:28Yeah.
33:29Well, women need to be careful of perverts and Tinder swindlers and love bombers.
33:34Oh, yeah, what is that?
33:36Someone explained love bombing to me the other day, but I didn't really get it.
33:40Isn't it just like being really nice to someone?
33:42Oh, my God.
33:44I do not...
33:45I can't do this with you.
33:46I can't do the emotional labor of explaining this.
33:49Are you a love bomber?
33:50Are you going to, like, buy me a piano?
33:52Uh, no.
33:54I did make you a mix, though.
33:56Is that allowed?
33:57Do you want to listen to it?
34:08I don't, like, know anything about music.
34:10I like girly bullshit, so don't expect me to, like, tell you what I think about it, okay?
34:14All you have to do is listen to it.
34:17Okay.
34:18I'm going to give you the controls.
34:20Is that comfortable?
34:21Mm-hmm.
34:23And if you don't like a song, just skip it, all right?
34:26All right.
34:26Oh, the sinking dispel.
34:43Water tidying me up
34:50In the noticed posts
34:56And then cold in my mouth
35:02There is a feeling I love
35:07Buried in my brow
35:13I have no reason to run
35:19I see no reason
35:24Are you with me now?
35:33Ah
35:34Are you with me now?
35:45Ah
35:46It's not impossible
35:53It's not impossible
35:59It's not unusual
36:05Baby
36:08To feel a shadow
36:11In high
36:13There is a feeling I love
36:18Buried in my brow
36:24I have no reason to run
36:30I see no reason
36:35Are you with me now?
36:39Ah
36:41Are you with me now?
36:51Oh
36:55Ah
36:56Ah
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