- 2 days ago
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00:00:00The
00:00:30The End
00:01:00The End
00:01:30The End
00:02:00The End
00:02:29Don't shoot!
00:02:59The End
00:03:29I've got a good mind to drop these dishes.
00:03:44You've got a good mind?
00:03:46No, it's six o'clock already and the tomato's still out there parading for the seagulls.
00:03:49Putting dishes away is her job.
00:03:51Ain't it enough that I do the cooking and the cleaning?
00:03:55Every time I talk about the tomato, you get busy.
00:03:57The tomato's got a name.
00:03:59Cotty.
00:04:00Everybody's got a name.
00:04:01Yeah?
00:04:02Then how come you call me slob and my name's really Leo?
00:04:04Because you look like a slob.
00:04:06Even when you're clean, you look dirty.
00:04:08That to me is not a Leo.
00:04:10That is a slob.
00:04:11Oh, that's funny.
00:04:14Yeah, funny.
00:04:15Very.
00:04:16You're laughing me in a bankruptcy.
00:04:18Why did you do it?
00:04:20Look what he did.
00:04:20He's crazy.
00:04:21But you're not going to get away with it.
00:04:23See, you're going to get me a new one.
00:04:24I'm going to get you nothing.
00:04:26All right, come on.
00:04:26Lay off.
00:04:26If I do that again, I'll whack you good.
00:04:28You raise a hand at her and I'll make you eat it.
00:04:29Yeah?
00:04:30I'd like to see that.
00:04:31No, no, I was only having fun.
00:04:32So am I.
00:04:38I'm going to teach you a lesson.
00:04:40Next time I'm in San Diego, I'm going into the best store
00:04:43and I'm going to get the best petticoat and you're going to pay for it.
00:04:47You got a fat chance.
00:04:48You want to bet?
00:04:49I'll let you in on a little secret.
00:04:50I'm going to take it out of your salary.
00:04:51How do you like that?
00:04:53Then I'll go to the labor board.
00:04:54Well, I'm for that.
00:04:55And when you're there, ask her to get you a new job.
00:04:57Well, it's easy to see who you got eyes for, huh?
00:05:00Too bad I wasn't born until neither.
00:05:02Too bad you were born, period.
00:05:05Hi, George.
00:05:07Here, catch.
00:05:09Oh, is this the one about the seashells?
00:05:10I think you'll find it interesting.
00:05:12The book better have a lot of pictures in it.
00:05:14I can read as good as you.
00:05:15You can't do nothing good.
00:05:17Yeah?
00:05:17Yeah.
00:05:18Well, what brought on this chain reaction?
00:05:20Howdy's petticoat.
00:05:21Look at what Slob did to it.
00:05:23What'd you do this for?
00:05:24I don't know.
00:05:25I just felt like it.
00:05:26That's a stupid answer.
00:05:28Figures is coming from a stupid place.
00:05:29Oh, you shut up.
00:05:31Oh, what's everybody making such a big thing for?
00:05:32You think the tomato is a queen.
00:05:34As far as you're concerned, she is.
00:05:36If you're looking for trouble, I can give it to you.
00:05:38Anything you start with, Cotty, you're going to have to finish with me.
00:05:41Now, you go back to your greasy griddle.
00:05:44Well, I hope you're happy, you troublemaker, you.
00:05:46There's only one thing that could make me happy.
00:05:48I'll outlive you two to one.
00:05:49Never mind the odds.
00:05:51Buy her a new petticoat.
00:05:53And behave yourself.
00:06:02Who is it?
00:06:05What do you want?
00:06:08Oh, Sam, I thought it was...
00:06:10Come on in.
00:06:12How's my girl?
00:06:13Fine, don't I look it?
00:06:15You look just great.
00:06:17Slob's going to buy you a new petticoat.
00:06:19If I told you what he did to me on the beach...
00:06:21I heard all about it out there.
00:06:22No sense going through it again.
00:06:24Slob's got an eight-cylinder body and a two-cylinder mind.
00:06:27You've got to consider the source.
00:06:28Good.
00:06:29She's not going to bother you anymore.
00:06:31Now let's talk about something worthwhile.
00:06:32I'm all for that.
00:06:34I think I know the first two chapters by heart.
00:06:36Well, you're really serious about taking this civil service exam.
00:06:43I don't want to be a waitress for all my life.
00:06:46I want you to be proud of me.
00:06:47I am, and you don't have to be anything but exactly what you are.
00:06:51Just you wait until I pass that examination.
00:06:54Instead of coming to see me in this broken-down beanery,
00:06:56you'll walk into a great, big, beautiful government building,
00:07:00and I'll be sitting behind a big desk doing...
00:07:03Doing something important?
00:07:04Uh-huh.
00:07:04Something important.
00:07:06You know, the longer I know you, the more you amaze me.
00:07:12Can you tell me something?
00:07:16Anything, Sam.
00:07:18Anything.
00:07:21What are the first ten amendments to the Constitution called?
00:07:24Bill of Rights.
00:07:25That's right.
00:07:27What form of government is this?
00:07:29The best.
00:07:32It's a very good answer, but it's not the right one.
00:07:34And this is a republic.
00:07:36Isn't that the best?
00:07:38Sure is.
00:07:40Sam, there's so much to learn.
00:07:41Sometimes I feel I'll never make it.
00:07:44Oh, you're doing real great.
00:07:45Tell me something else.
00:07:52What?
00:07:52You know what branches does the Constitution divide the governmental powers?
00:07:59Judicial?
00:08:03Legislative?
00:08:06Executive?
00:08:06Oh, I wish there were more branches.
00:08:12Oh, I wish there were more branches.
00:08:12Oh, you know what?
00:08:30Oh.
00:08:31inin'
00:08:31What's with you?
00:08:33What, do you saw this?
00:08:33I'm a champion?
00:08:34If you hadn't caught me with a full belly, I'd have killed you.
00:08:38You wanna kill me now?
00:08:41Yeah. It'd be my pleasure.
00:09:04Come on. Come on. Break it up. Come on. Come on. Break it up. Will you get over here?
00:09:21All right. Come on. Come on, George. We're just having fun, huh?
00:09:26The world is full of people. I gotta wind up with two monsters.
00:09:30Yeah.
00:09:34They really got me, huh?
00:09:41These are nice, fat fish.
00:09:43I'm sure. You know why? They come from Mexican waters.
00:09:46You can't catch anything off this coast. It's all fished out.
00:09:50I just wanna take care of you.
00:09:51Is the Gregory happy with me?
00:09:52Sure, sure.
00:09:54Will you guys cut out all that dish, and you get out of here and let Slob finish his work?
00:09:58You don't have to hit me in the head. I can take a hint.
00:10:01See you again, Slob.
00:10:02Hey, let's you and me get together on my night off. Maybe we'll get us a couple of hot dishes, huh?
00:10:06Yeah, I'm your boy. You get them. I'll go.
00:10:08Whatever you two could get, they don't let out at night.
00:10:13What were you guys whispering about in here?
00:10:15Well, us. Nothing.
00:10:17Don't give me that. I'm wise to you guys. You're both trying to pull a fast one.
00:10:22With the fish.
00:10:24I don't have to take no insults from you.
00:10:26Tell them, boy. Tell them good.
00:10:28Will you shut your trap and get out of here?
00:10:31Ho, ho, ho.
00:10:32You know, if it wasn't so hard to get a cook way out here, I'd have bounced your head up that front door long ago.
00:10:40Then we're even.
00:10:41Because if I wasn't such a lousy cook, I would have walked out of here a long time ago.
00:10:45Georgie!
00:10:49Hey, Eddie!
00:10:50Welcome home!
00:10:52Welcome home, my boy.
00:10:54Hey, you look like a million. How's the old lousy?
00:10:56Like a mother-in-law nagging me night and day.
00:10:58Come on, sit down. Tell us how the world is treating you.
00:11:01Ain't you gonna ask me how I feel?
00:11:03Why should he? The only thing that'll kill you is time.
00:11:06Hey, that reminds me.
00:11:09About that watch you saw me.
00:11:10I'll give it to you wholesale. What else do you want?
00:11:12I want what it says in the guarantee, and the guarantee says if it's busted, you gotta give me a new one.
00:11:15Dreamboat here only reads the large print.
00:11:17Yes, lad, that's right. All them guarantees is the same.
00:11:19The big print gives you everything, and the little print takes it away.
00:11:22Yo, I don't care. You said it didn't have to be wine, and I could leave it in water overnight, and it wouldn't hurt.
00:11:25That I did. But even an impartial jury will agree that water is not soup, especially hot onion soup.
00:11:31When I examined your watch, it had pepper, cheese, and a piece of onion in it.
00:11:34Furthermore, it looked to me as if it had been cooked over a slow fire all night.
00:11:37Why didn't you tell me you dropped it in a soup?
00:11:40A man's entitled to privacy.
00:11:42Not in my soup! Will you do me a favor?
00:11:44I don't want to be aggravated before I eat. Now, chop it!
00:11:46What do you think you could get away with all...
00:11:47You heard what the man said? You heard what the man said. Chop it.
00:11:50What did you have, then?
00:11:51I've had a taste of your hamburger in my mouth all the way down from Pismo Beach.
00:11:55What do you want on it?
00:11:57Everything. Except your watch.
00:12:00Big comic, huh? A lot of things I could put on that hamburger.
00:12:05You wouldn't.
00:12:06Hey, slob. Not even in the joke, huh?
00:12:10One burger. Coming up.
00:12:17Hey, it's my friend the brain!
00:12:19Eddie! How's the number one salesman?
00:12:21Ah, it's number three now. This territory's getting a little tired. How are you doing?
00:12:24Oh, I forgot. You can't talk about it. But I'll bet you're still top man in the cyclotron department, huh?
00:12:29Number one in the love department, too.
00:12:31Oh, that I know. Tell me something new. How's the chickie?
00:12:34Geez, great, Eddie. She's gonna be very happy to see you. You're one of her favorite people.
00:12:38Naturally, with my charm. Why not, huh?
00:12:40Eddie looks real good, don't he? Looks better than the last time. How do you feel?
00:12:44Oh, I think I'm improving.
00:12:47Too bad you can't stay around a while. I could recommend a good psychiatrist.
00:12:51Ah, who needs those head shrinkers? You're good enough for me. Every time I talk to you, I feel like a new man.
00:12:57Very flattering, Eddie, but you need professional help. Armchair psychology's not enough.
00:13:01Look, Professor, I got friends who've been going for years. I still eat birdseed.
00:13:06So you're not a talking doctor. Eddie's got confidence in you.
00:13:09And it's very important to me. All I know is, you tell me what to do, when I do it, I feel better.
00:13:17You know something? If you were to tell me to jump off a building, I'd take off like a jet job.
00:13:21Hey, you remember what you told me about physical therapy?
00:13:23Look, I even got a sports catalog. It's got all this stuff that George and I need for our vacation.
00:13:28Acapulco, here we come. See, here's the flippers down here. And the underwater masks.
00:13:33Sure, it's got everything for skin diamond.
00:13:35Boy, these snorkels look good. Where's the, uh, harpoons?
00:13:39Oh, here. Look for yourself. Those sharp prongs. Gruesome.
00:13:47Even on paper, it makes me sick when I think of the poor fish.
00:13:50Eddie, there you go again. Now, why did I recommend skin diving?
00:13:53I told you the fish are cold-blooded.
00:13:55This I want to hear straight from the fish's mouth.
00:13:58All right, I'll arrange a meeting.
00:14:00You know, these elastic-driven harpoons are effective at the ones with the carbon dioxide and have more power.
00:14:07For big-game fish, rust-proof, non-slip handles.
00:14:12Yeah, but look at that crazy price. What do they think we skin divers are, millionaires?
00:14:16Relax, George. I met a sporting goods salesman. Sold him a watch wholesale.
00:14:20In return, he's showing his appreciation by giving me his cost.
00:14:23Pick him up.
00:14:24That's for you, Ed.
00:14:25Eddie, baby!
00:14:27Chickie, how's the living dog?
00:14:30Gee, I've missed you. How long you'll stay this time?
00:14:33Well, I'll get some business.
00:14:34Oh, don't you work too hard. You're looking real good.
00:14:38How do you like that? I own the joints. I pay the salaries. Nothing like that ever happens to me.
00:14:43That's because you don't sell jewelry. You better be careful, Eddie. Cardi must have her eye on something.
00:14:47Chickie can have anything I got. Wholesale.
00:14:50You extravagant boy. Eat your hamburger before it gets cold.
00:14:53I gotta get going, Cardi.
00:14:54I'll walk you out. Be right back.
00:14:56Take your time, you will, anyway.
00:14:58Put the coffee on my tab, George. See you soon.
00:15:00Don't worry. I'll be around for some more of those free treatments.
00:15:02Atta boy, Eddie. Bye, slob!
00:15:03Good night, Professor.
00:15:06What do you say, Pat?
00:15:07Hi, Artie.
00:15:08Hey, how's it now?
00:15:09Floating, Peppy.
00:15:11Hey, you guys, cut it out.
00:15:12Well, what's the matter with you? We were only looking.
00:15:14Well, for your information, this ain't no museum.
00:15:16Really?
00:15:17Then how do you explain those antique French donuts you serve?
00:15:18Oh, very funny.
00:15:19How are you, fellas? How's the chicken business?
00:15:20It's for the birds.
00:15:21What do you say, slob?
00:15:22What could he say that would be interesting?
00:15:24Well, fellas, what will it be?
00:15:25I'll have an Egyptian dancing girl.
00:15:26Yeah, me too.
00:15:27hey you guys cut it out well what's the matter with you we were only looking
00:15:32well for your information this ain't no museum really then how do you explain
00:15:36those antique french donuts you serve oh very funny how are you fellas how's the
00:15:42chicken business it's for the birds ah what do you say slab what could he say
00:15:49that would be interesting well fellas what'll it be i'll have an egyptian
00:15:52dancing girl yeah me too sorry they're out of season but how about cherry pie
00:15:56and coffee as if i didn't know you talked us into it getting any action
00:16:00ah business has been lousy last time the cash register rang i answered the phone
00:16:05you ever try serving decent food sometimes it helps oh that's clever oh
00:16:09ow what is it well what do you think it is
00:16:14looks like the buckle off a wristwatch band
00:16:19oh slob did you lose this where'd you find it where you put it
00:16:26you need a witness we'll be glad to help oh thanks it's very neighborly of you what is this
00:16:33an automobile accident or something nobody got killed i don't see any stiffs laying around there
00:16:37will be just give them time to digest this sandwich what do you do you guys gain weight
00:16:41from aggravating me what do you want from my life you're sure a sore head george i only ribbon you
00:16:47hear your boyfriend really sends you he must be quite a guy you have no idea he's wonderful and smart too i don't know how i read a professor
00:17:04i don't know how i read a professor what's so great about that my sister's married to a school
00:17:09teacher look my chicken picking friend sam doesn't teach one and one is two he's a scientist a nuclear
00:17:15physicist boom he's a big big man oh i'm not impressed if he's such a big wheel why isn't he
00:17:22in los alamos with the rest of the atom smashers you're a real dope don't you know that little
00:17:27bunch of buildings up the highway where sam experiments is one of the most important
00:17:30universities in the whole world that hunk of ivy what can he do there he's not allowed to tell
00:17:36me what a stinker if you were my girl i'd tell you everything hey what are you doing tomorrow night
00:17:42you'll never know because you won't be there come on get a girl for me and we'll double date tomorrow's
00:17:47payday cut it out hey give us some break we'll show you a good time get your hands off her i'll belt
00:17:51you you'll have to belt both of us well don't think i can't all right you knock off you stay out of this
00:17:57head you've been sick now please look what do you guys want to fight for who wants to fight he
00:18:01started it you know what i think i think you're on the hook for cutty i ain't interested in what
00:18:06you think now pick up your tabs and haul carcass out of here oh no look i'm sorry fellas i didn't
00:18:15mean to roust you here next time coffee's on me make it a steak and the romance will be on again
00:18:20i ain't interested in the honeymoon coffee or nothing okay but for coffee don't expect the full
00:18:25treatment so long george see you along
00:18:50uh
00:18:57uh
00:19:01uh
00:19:11uh
00:19:13Oh, my God.
00:19:43Oh, my God.
00:20:13What are you thinking about?
00:20:27Oh, I'm just thinking.
00:20:29Want to talk?
00:20:30About what?
00:20:33I guess you're right.
00:20:34What's there to talk about when the guy with your sense of humor forgets how to laugh?
00:20:36Will you get off my back?
00:20:39Well, I'm sorry.
00:20:42You're the last guy I should blast.
00:20:44I'm the first.
00:20:45George, ain't I your best friend?
00:20:47Go ahead, blast.
00:20:49Ah, what's the use?
00:20:50It's all a bunch of slop.
00:20:51You're just finding that out?
00:20:53Life's 90% walking through slop to get to the roses.
00:20:55I'll buy that, but when do I get to smell them?
00:20:57Oh, brother, you sure got a short memory.
00:20:59How long ago was D-Day?
00:21:01You got a lot to be grateful for.
00:21:02Did you ever see two guys with more holes in them?
00:21:05I still remember how choppy the channel looked through your chest.
00:21:09Yeah, they never thought we'd make it, did they?
00:21:12Yeah, we showed them.
00:21:14You still think about it?
00:21:17Only when I sleep.
00:21:19Hey, George, you know what I think?
00:21:21I think maybe you ought to sell this place.
00:21:23Maybe it's getting too much for you.
00:21:24Sell what I wanted all my life?
00:21:26Never.
00:21:27Say, I've been all over the world.
00:21:28It's nothing.
00:21:29Look at what I got here.
00:21:32I got the mountains in my front yard, the ocean in my backyard,
00:21:35doors open all the time for people to come in.
00:21:37I'm the host, and they pay me for it.
00:21:41No, that's not the trouble.
00:21:46Cotty?
00:21:47I'm on the hooker.
00:21:48I can't get off.
00:21:50Artie was right.
00:21:51I thought that was over a long time ago.
00:21:52No, no, it's worse than that.
00:21:56The poor guy.
00:21:57You haven't got a chance, and you know it.
00:21:59Even if you were Cary Grant, she wouldn't give you a second look.
00:22:02George, the whole thing's chemistry.
00:22:05She's A, the professor's B.
00:22:06You just don't fit in the formula.
00:22:09I know.
00:22:10A character like me should know his place.
00:22:12That's the way to talk.
00:22:14The best thing for two guys like us to do is to forget all about women and look for adventure.
00:22:18Look who's talking about adventure.
00:22:20You're scared of your own shadow.
00:22:21That's not true.
00:22:23The only thing that still gets me is blood and violence.
00:22:26Oh, now, come on.
00:22:27Relax.
00:22:28It's going to be just like the professor said.
00:22:30You're going to get rid of that phobia.
00:22:31We're going down to Acapulco, have plenty of adventure, excitement, and you'll come back a new man.
00:22:38Your mouth into my ego.
00:22:45George, give me your hand.
00:22:47What are you going to do?
00:22:47What are you going to do to my fortune?
00:22:49Eddie, give me yours.
00:22:52Maybe his hand didn't feel like yours, more like Eddie's.
00:22:55It's funny, a truck driver with soft hands.
00:22:58Oh, I thought I heard a train go by.
00:23:17Oh, it's you and them weights.
00:23:18Come on, pick up the weights, will you?
00:23:20Okay.
00:23:23You're a little late today, aren't you?
00:23:24Yeah.
00:23:28Hey, that looks great.
00:23:35That's a beautiful looking set of mussels.
00:23:37How many times have I told you not to call them mussels?
00:23:40You want to sound like an amateur?
00:23:42Call them pecs.
00:23:43Well, what's the difference?
00:23:44Big deal.
00:23:45The fact is, you got them.
00:23:47Well, I'm going to tell you, you have them too.
00:23:49You only work out.
00:23:51A couple of licks and you quit for the day.
00:23:53I'm very happy with my pecs.
00:23:58We're closed.
00:24:01We don't open until six o'clock.
00:24:04I don't know why people don't eat at home.
00:24:06Every time I eat, I like it sick.
00:24:08You don't have to tell me nothing about restaurant food.
00:24:11Hey, listen, slob, I ordered another set of barbells.
00:24:13You want to go have these with me?
00:24:14Well, thought I always.
00:24:15Oh, that's great.
00:24:16This is Charlie Strongtree's latest invention.
00:24:18He says it develops the latissimus, you know.
00:24:20Yeah, we're both a little weak in that department.
00:24:22Yeah, well, he says two weeks of that and we'll be the envy of Mussel Beach.
00:24:25Hey, won't them tomatoes go for us, huh?
00:24:28Look, hey, hey, I ain't talking for no tomato.
00:24:30I do this for myself.
00:24:32You wouldn't believe it.
00:24:33You know, slob, at one time I was so skinny, I was embarrassed to undress in front of myself.
00:24:38I see what you mean.
00:24:39But you know, there's one thing.
00:24:40I don't go for those guys on Mussel Beach.
00:24:42Their waist is so thin, there's no room for any food.
00:24:44Yeah, those idiots.
00:24:45They're way over the top, you know.
00:24:48Who wants to go around walking in a leopard skin all the time, anyway?
00:24:51Those guys can't wear clothes.
00:24:53Hey, I look pretty good in the suit, though, don't I?
00:24:55Don't get it great.
00:24:57Especially that double-breasted brown job.
00:25:00What about me?
00:25:03Well, your clothes don't do too much for you.
00:25:06Hey, feel this.
00:25:09That's pretty hot.
00:25:10But they're as hard as mine.
00:25:13It's a matter of opinion.
00:25:14Hey, but you won't argue about these legs.
00:25:17Get through them.
00:25:19What's wrong with mine?
00:25:21Ah, they're soft, flabby.
00:25:23If you did what I told you to do, you'd have legs like mine.
00:25:26Well, let's forget about the legs.
00:25:27I don't care about them anyway.
00:25:27They don't show.
00:25:28You know what I really want?
00:25:29A big, thick neck.
00:25:32I think you'd do better concentrating on the legs.
00:25:35I don't know how you even get around.
00:25:36I don't know how you walk.
00:25:38Don't you want a set of legs like mine?
00:25:40Oh, I go for your triceps and your biceps.
00:25:41They look great, but I wouldn't have your legs if you'd give them to me.
00:25:44Well, I ain't giving you nothing.
00:25:46As far as I'm concerned, you can go around in those pins for the rest of your life.
00:25:49And there you go getting sore again.
00:25:51A guy can't be honest around here.
00:25:54Hey, no, Cotty.
00:25:56Don't look.
00:26:02Okay, now, Cot.
00:26:06Cotty, we want you to do us a favor.
00:26:08We want you to judge a contest.
00:26:09We want you to decide who's got the best-looking legs in this establishment.
00:26:15And just because he's the boss, don't play favorites.
00:26:17Aye.
00:26:18Which one of us got the best?
00:26:22In this establishment?
00:26:25I have.
00:26:34I got a sneaking hunch she's been using our barbells.
00:26:39What's wrong, Cotty?
00:26:52Are you unhappy?
00:26:54I don't know.
00:26:55I keep thinking crazy things.
00:26:57One minute I'm up in the clouds and then I get so long I could die.
00:27:02Did you ever add news from home?
00:27:03Oh, no.
00:27:04Nothing like that.
00:27:06Then what is it?
00:27:06Looks like my girl's keeping secrets from me.
00:27:11Me?
00:27:11That's funny.
00:27:12You're the one.
00:27:14What does that mean?
00:27:18Skipper, I don't want to talk about it.
00:27:20It's not like you.
00:27:21You always speak your mind.
00:27:22Now, come on.
00:27:22What is it?
00:27:23What's wrong?
00:27:24That's just what I want to know.
00:27:26Sam, you've changed.
00:27:27We used to be together all the time.
00:27:29Now I only see you when you come to the shack.
00:27:31And then you spend most of your time talking to slob and looking at shells.
00:27:35Don't tell me you're jealous of slob.
00:27:38If it weren't for him, I never would have met you.
00:27:42Nah, it's something else.
00:27:43Come on, tell me.
00:27:43What is it?
00:27:44Sam, when is the last time you took me to dinner?
00:27:47When did we last go dancing?
00:27:49I've been busy.
00:27:50You know that.
00:27:51It's as good an excuse as any, but I think I know the real reason.
00:27:54You're ashamed to be seen out in public with me.
00:27:57It wouldn't be nice for a famous professor whose picture's on the cover of a big magazine to be seen out with a hash slinger.
00:28:03What will people say?
00:28:05You honestly believe that I give a hang with strangers thinking?
00:28:08You think I'm impressed because a magazine decided to make a hero out of a scientist?
00:28:11You know better than that.
00:28:14Come on.
00:28:19I'm just a lucky guy who's got a job that he likes, and because I like it, I spend a great deal of time with it.
00:28:26And I'm not going to change my way of life for you or anybody else.
00:28:31Yes, I've been told.
00:28:32I'm going to continue to tell you, just so long as you act like a little girl.
00:28:37You'll be so emotional.
00:28:39Why? I'm not ashamed of it.
00:28:41I am emotional, I am jealous, and I want attention.
00:28:44And like you, I have no intention of changing my way of life to please you or anybody else.
00:28:49I am not ashamed of it.
00:29:11You're welcome.
00:29:12As long as you're here, you might as well have some coffee.
00:29:36I've already poured it. There's no sense wasting it.
00:29:42Still angry with me?
00:29:49Of course I am.
00:29:51Well, I don't suppose there's anything I can do about that.
00:29:54That's right. Absolutely nothing.
00:29:58Hmm. Well, you are so wrong.
00:30:00That's George. He's back from the market.
00:30:16Go see him.
00:30:17Hey, Professor. I didn't know you was around. Boy, did I have luck tonight. Take a look.
00:30:28Pretty good, huh? The tide was low and is laying all over the place.
00:30:31All right. There's one for my collection. Looks like we'll do some business tonight.
00:30:36Better get your money ready.
00:30:38All right, Professor.
00:30:39All right.
00:30:39Go on. Go get the meat.
00:30:41Back in a minute, Professor.
00:30:42Hey, what's going on?
00:30:52Time. It moves like a maniac. I'm closing up.
00:30:55Oh, you can't do that. The Professor made we got a deal. If you want to knock off, knock off.
00:30:59I'll close up when we're through.
00:31:01That's what I like about free enterprise.
00:31:02I got the enterprise and everybody's free to give me the business.
00:31:06And don't forget to turn the gas off under the onion stove.
00:31:09Sure, George. Sure.
00:31:10Why don't I walk you home?
00:31:19Don't do me any favors.
00:31:23Connie.
00:31:26Connie.
00:31:28Now, what's wrong?
00:31:29Nothing. I just don't want to stand between you and your shells.
00:31:33You don't need a woman. You should go steady with a clam.
00:31:37I don't get it. A grown-up man and you still play with seashells.
00:31:40Now, you listen to me.
00:31:42When I get through to the end of the day, my head feels like it's been in a vice.
00:31:45These shells that you despise are my therapy. They relax me.
00:31:49If you were really concerned, you wouldn't resent this inoffensive hobby.
00:31:52Oh, Sam, you always have a way of making me feel so small. I could go right through the floor.
00:32:03I'm sorry.
00:32:05Really, I am.
00:32:08Good night, darling.
00:32:10Pleasant dreams.
00:32:10Pleasant dreams.
00:32:30Oh, my God.
00:32:31¶¶
00:33:01Is it all here?
00:33:17Every dollar.
00:33:19Money, money, money.
00:33:20That's all you think about.
00:33:22What's your reward?
00:33:24You're going to put George in the kitchen and put you on the cash register?
00:33:27I ain't interested in money.
00:33:29All I want is people to look up to me.
00:33:31Why?
00:33:32Did you make a better hamburger?
00:33:34What I am today has nothing to do with the future.
00:33:37Hitler was a paper hanger.
00:33:38Today, a man makes his own destiny.
00:33:42Sometimes your thinking surprises me.
00:33:44Well, I've got to be honest, Professor.
00:33:46I didn't think it up. I heard it.
00:33:48What, Mr. Gregory?
00:33:50When am I going to meet him?
00:33:51I guess when he feels the times, right?
00:33:53You've been telling me that for over a year.
00:33:56Obviously, Mr. Gregory's not very impressed.
00:33:58But he is. He told me so.
00:33:59Well, he's never told me.
00:34:02You know, he's missing out on a pretty good bet.
00:34:05There are lots of things that can't be written down on paper.
00:34:08How can I explain to you the secret of a new element that may obsolete the power of hydrogen force?
00:34:14There is such a thing?
00:34:15Well, that's part of the present project.
00:34:17You know that I can pick up the telephone and I can call the president of these United States and he'll speak to me as long as I want.
00:34:25And you and Mr. Gregory has no time for me.
00:34:30And I thought all you cared about was money.
00:34:33It ain't enough, is it?
00:34:35You want Mr. Gregory to pat you on the back.
00:34:37Well, if you dance with the gods, they can lead you into paradise.
00:34:43You know, I like the way you talk.
00:34:45I look up to you.
00:34:47But you've got one weakness.
00:34:49The, uh, tomato?
00:34:52How can a big man like you get mixed up with a nothing like that?
00:34:55Can't come here just for these shells.
00:34:56It's only a front.
00:34:59What do you think?
00:35:00You sure have me fooled.
00:35:02You put on a good show.
00:35:03It's not too difficult.
00:35:04She's pretty attractive.
00:35:05They all are.
00:35:07And they're all out for what they can get.
00:35:09Do you know what I'd like to do to her?
00:35:10I'm not interested.
00:35:11Well, I am.
00:35:12Who does she think she is treating me like I was dirty?
00:35:16But I got ways of getting even.
00:35:18And believe me, I will.
00:35:25You forget that, tomato.
00:35:26It's getting kind of late.
00:35:30I gotta get going.
00:35:36See you later, my friend.
00:35:38Like it's soon.
00:35:56I told you never to come here.
00:36:03You're drunk.
00:36:04That's right.
00:36:05Shh, shh.
00:36:05Now people are asleep.
00:36:06They'll hear you.
00:36:06I want them to hear me.
00:36:08I want everybody to wake up.
00:36:09Now look.
00:36:10I've got some money here.
00:36:10You can go away.
00:36:11And there'll be plenty more where this came from.
00:36:13I don't want your money.
00:36:15And I don't want any part of you.
00:36:17Tell it to you, Mr.
00:36:18Stop.
00:36:18Be quiet.
00:36:19Get out.
00:36:20Sam, I've been walking all over for you.
00:36:23Good boy, Sam.
00:36:25You don't understand.
00:36:26You know, we were in trouble.
00:36:27You're making something out of nothing.
00:36:28Professor Ronka disappears and you call that nothing?
00:36:33You gotta stop using that word, disappeared.
00:36:36Everybody knows that he committed suicide.
00:36:38I know how you feel.
00:36:39It hurts a lot to lose a friend.
00:36:42But you mustn't blame yourself too much.
00:36:44Ronka's was sick from working too much.
00:36:47The mind is a very funny thing.
00:36:49All of a sudden, like that, he jumped off the boat.
00:36:53That happens.
00:36:54But there was nothing wrong with this mind.
00:36:56I ought to know.
00:36:57I just can't understand what happened.
00:37:00It just doesn't make any sense to me.
00:37:02I went fishing with him so many times.
00:37:07And the first time I rented your friend's boat,
00:37:09he disappeared into thin air.
00:37:11Do you think Perch had anything to do with it?
00:37:12He's just a poor, honest fisherman.
00:37:15I don't know what to think.
00:37:16All I know is when I got up that morning,
00:37:18I felt like I was drugged.
00:37:19And Max Ronka was gone.
00:37:23Why didn't you tell this to the police?
00:37:24I couldn't do that, Sam.
00:37:26There'd have been more questions, further investigations.
00:37:29It might have led to us and what we're doing.
00:37:32I...
00:37:33The worst part of it is I tried to believe that Max Ronka had killed himself.
00:37:38I had to rationalize my guilt.
00:37:41But I'm not going to do it anymore, Sam.
00:37:43Look, supposing he didn't jump off the boat,
00:37:49supposing he didn't kill himself,
00:37:51where did he go?
00:37:53What happened to him?
00:37:55Sam, you don't really believe that Max Ronka committed suicide?
00:37:59Yes, I do.
00:38:01There is no other explanation.
00:38:03Well, I don't.
00:38:04Eighteen months ago, Professor Gerhardt from Northern University vanished.
00:38:08Then Ronka, both men working on the same project.
00:38:11Both suicides.
00:38:13And not a single trace of their bodies.
00:38:16A coincidence?
00:38:17Oh, no.
00:38:17I tell you, they're not dead.
00:38:19I don't know what you're talking about.
00:38:21You like the way I talk when I try to get Ronka to join us, eh?
00:38:25Ronka laughed at me.
00:38:26He didn't want any part of this legion of misfits.
00:38:29But Mr. Gregory wanted him alive, not dead.
00:38:33And he made up his mind to get him, too.
00:38:37Sam, Sam, they won't stop at anything.
00:38:40They preach liberty and practice slavery.
00:38:43But we can pull out of this.
00:38:44We'll face the consequences.
00:38:46We'll go to the authorities.
00:38:47They'll help us.
00:38:48No, no, no, no.
00:38:50They're not the ones for fear.
00:38:51It's slob.
00:38:52It's slobbing as Mr. Gregory.
00:38:54He's crazy.
00:38:55He doesn't know what he's talking about.
00:38:56Now, look.
00:38:57Look.
00:38:59We're on the right road.
00:39:01How can you justify treason?
00:39:03I tell you, he's crazy.
00:39:04Come on, Claude.
00:39:05Simmer down.
00:39:06Sam, I don't understand you.
00:39:09With all the misery and bloodshed that they've caused already,
00:39:12you still believe you're right?
00:39:14Yes, and we've got to continue to fight for that right.
00:39:16Open your eyes, Sam.
00:39:18Open your eyes.
00:39:19We're helping the enemy, don't you see?
00:39:21We're helping the enemy.
00:39:22We've got to expose them before it's too late.
00:39:25We're traitors.
00:39:27We're traitors.
00:39:27Shut it up.
00:39:28Quiet.
00:39:29Look.
00:39:30You just got a hold of yourself.
00:39:31It's getting late.
00:39:32I'm going to walk you home.
00:39:34We'll discuss this in the morning.
00:39:36It's better then.
00:39:38Everything looks better in the morning.
00:39:45He's passed out.
00:39:46Help me get him to it.
00:39:47You killed him.
00:39:57Did you want him to go to the authorities?
00:39:59He would.
00:39:59I've seen too many like him.
00:40:01Now there's nothing to worry about.
00:40:03You go on home and old Slott will take care of everything.
00:40:06You all right?
00:40:18Your message sounded so urgent.
00:40:20Who I owe the drama?
00:40:28Sam, they told me downtown before I can work for the government.
00:40:32I must swear loyalty to the United States.
00:40:34Why?
00:40:36And why you had me rush down here?
00:40:38Answer me.
00:40:39You can't be serious.
00:40:40I've never been more serious in all my life.
00:40:43Why must I swear allegiance?
00:40:44Well, one thing, when our government hires somebody, they guarantee them equality.
00:40:57The shape of your nose and the color of your skin is no bearing on your success or failure.
00:41:01Every individual is entitled to promotion based on an unbiased examination.
00:41:07And then when the job is over, there's more security in the form of a pension.
00:41:11Loyalty doesn't seem to be very much to give in exchange for that, does it?
00:41:15Does that answer your question?
00:41:17Sam, you're real smart.
00:41:19You know all the answers.
00:41:21But I'm getting smart, too.
00:41:24I'm learning all the time.
00:41:26Last night, I added a new word to my vocabulary.
00:41:30Traitor.
00:41:35Traitor.
00:41:37One who violates his allegiance and betrays his country.
00:41:41One who delivers his country to an enemy.
00:41:43One who aids an enemy to conquer his country.
00:41:48Last night, I heard you enslobbing, Dylan.
00:41:51I heard Dylan beg you to stop what you were doing.
00:41:53He said you were traitors.
00:41:56And all you did was stand there and soft soak him.
00:41:59I wanted to listen to more, but I couldn't.
00:42:03I was so ashamed, I shut the door and got sick.
00:42:07Dylan was drunk.
00:42:09He didn't know what he was saying.
00:42:10Was slob drunk?
00:42:11You said anything to slob?
00:42:14Not yet, but I intend to.
00:42:16Now, you keep away from slob.
00:42:18He mustn't know that you saw us last night.
00:42:20Not a word, not a look.
00:42:21Now, promise me.
00:42:22Then it's more than shell to a slob, isn't it?
00:42:25How could you get mixed up with that garbage pail?
00:42:28That's no concern of yours.
00:42:29Everything you do concerns me.
00:42:33Not this.
00:42:35Understand me?
00:42:36Not this.
00:42:39Sam, you're my heart.
00:42:41But I'd cut you out if you were a traitor.
00:42:47Are you?
00:42:54Get out.
00:42:59Listen to me.
00:43:02If you say one word of this to anybody, I'll kill you.
00:43:04So help me, I'll kill you.
00:43:07Get out.
00:43:08Get out of my life so I can bury you.
00:43:22Hey, you look bushed.
00:43:25What's the matter?
00:43:25You saw it in here or something?
00:43:26Leave me alone.
00:43:27I'm just tired.
00:43:28What a night.
00:43:30Those maniacs, I'll barely eat anything that don't eat them first.
00:43:33I'll say.
00:43:34Look at my hands.
00:43:35They've been in the water so much today, they look like a cup of pink prunes.
00:43:39Look at those wrinkles.
00:43:41Tonight I can't feel sorry for anybody.
00:43:43Well, I'd be glad to get to bed.
00:43:45You know, it's a shame.
00:43:46They shouldn't let women beat their brains up.
00:43:48You know what I think women ought to do?
00:43:49If you think of it, it must be gruesome.
00:43:51You got me all wrong.
00:43:53I got feelings and I got respect where it's due.
00:43:55Hey, you smell good.
00:43:58What is it?
00:43:59Soap and water.
00:44:01Well, that's better than perfume.
00:44:03Perfume is like a tent on a beautiful woman.
00:44:07You know, I used to know a girl who must have smelled like you.
00:44:09Boy, was I crazy about her.
00:44:11You couldn't be crazy about anybody but yourself.
00:44:14Why are you so mean to me?
00:44:15You never give me a chance.
00:44:16Well, I like that.
00:44:17You make my life miserable.
00:44:18You pick on me.
00:44:19You're always pawing me.
00:44:20You want to know why I'm mean.
00:44:21Yeah, I guess you're right.
00:44:22But from now on, you ain't got nothing but respect, I swear.
00:44:25But you've got to treat me human.
00:44:27I'm a little late for that.
00:44:29But if you mean it.
00:44:30Didn't I swear?
00:44:31A shake on it.
00:44:34Why couldn't you have been like this before?
00:44:36Things would have been so much nicer.
00:44:38Isn't it better when people are friends?
00:44:40Sure.
00:44:41But where do you find them?
00:44:42How many friends do you suppose a guy has in a lifetime?
00:44:45If he's got one, he's lucky.
00:44:46Well, you've got one now.
00:44:48Me.
00:44:49Hey, I had you pegged all wrong.
00:44:51You know what?
00:44:52Next payday, I'm going to buy you something real fancy.
00:44:54And maybe we can go out and get dinner or catch a show or something.
00:44:58Sure, that's okay by me.
00:45:00Especially now that I'm not going steady with a professor.
00:45:02You're kidding.
00:45:04When did all this happen?
00:45:05The other night.
00:45:06I just couldn't take any more of his selfishness.
00:45:09That guy only thinks of himself and what he wants to do.
00:45:12Yeah, he wasn't more like you.
00:45:14You know, girls like to be treated nice.
00:45:16More like guy thinks of his seashells.
00:45:19Yeah.
00:45:19When I first met the professor, I thought he was off his rocker.
00:45:21How did you meet him?
00:45:23I'm on the beach.
00:45:23I guess it was before he came to work here.
00:45:25He was looking for shells and we got to gab him.
00:45:27Then I made a deal with him.
00:45:29I made a nice few bucks off of him.
00:45:31I'm glad you did.
00:45:32I would have done the same thing if I weren't such a dope.
00:45:34He taught me one thing.
00:45:37People can influence you.
00:45:39All it takes is somebody who's got just a little more brains than you've got.
00:45:42They can twist you around and the first thing you know, you're doing things you never dreamed of.
00:45:47Like what?
00:45:48Like my taking the civil service exam.
00:45:51Didn't he ever try to get you to do something you didn't want to do?
00:45:54No.
00:45:55We just talk about shells.
00:45:56I don't think the professor's my type, but let's not talk about him.
00:45:59Let's talk about us.
00:46:00Okay, Slop.
00:46:01Lay off.
00:46:02I thought you said we were going to be pals.
00:46:05What's a little kiss between friends?
00:46:07I mean it, Slop.
00:46:07Take your hands off me.
00:46:11You're hopeless.
00:46:13Gosh, you'll never change.
00:46:14You, uh, like my cooking?
00:46:20Not bad.
00:46:24You like me?
00:46:26I'm like I like garbage.
00:46:28Oh, you sure change your mind quick.
00:46:30Since when was you so choosy?
00:46:32I'm a man, ain't I?
00:46:32Who told you?
00:46:33You're almost done.
00:46:48All again?
00:47:03What do you want to do, make me fat?
00:47:18Oh, I want to make you happy.
00:47:20Say, I haven't seen the professor around lately.
00:47:22Is he sick?
00:47:24Hey, what's the matter?
00:47:25Have a beef?
00:47:27About what?
00:47:29I don't want to talk about it.
00:47:31It's all over between us.
00:47:32If that brain basket did anything to hurt you, I'll bust them in half.
00:47:38Oh, now, look, honey, I know how you feel, but maybe it's better this way.
00:47:42People like you and me are just like bugs under a microscope, as far as he's concerned.
00:47:48Once the experiment's over, down the drain we go.
00:47:51That's not true, George.
00:47:53I told him I never wanted to see him again.
00:47:55Say, you're smarter than I thought.
00:47:57Oh, George, I feel so bad.
00:48:03Well, honey, there's only one thing to do.
00:48:05Gotta get yourself another boy.
00:48:08Now, I can't do the mambo.
00:48:11But you find an old-fashioned waltz and I'll surprise you.
00:48:14You're so good.
00:48:19Everything you are is right on your face.
00:48:21What have I got to hide?
00:48:25That I love you, I'd put a neon sign on top of this shack so everybody on 101 would know.
00:48:34Better still, I'd back it up with a marriage license.
00:48:36Well, I'm not too old.
00:48:39Got a little money.
00:48:41I'm not Mr. America, but my mother loves me and we could use her ring.
00:48:49That's the trouble, George.
00:48:51I love you like your mother does.
00:48:56There's nothing wrong with you, George.
00:48:58It's me.
00:49:00I can't tell my heart who to love.
00:49:02But if you want me to marry you, I will.
00:49:08I'd do anything for you, George.
00:49:11You'd marry me, huh?
00:49:15Ah, baby.
00:49:17I'm not one of those dopes who buys his cold wife a mink coat and then sits around waiting for her to warm up.
00:49:25It's got to be electricity in the beginning.
00:49:27No sparks.
00:49:33No fun.
00:49:35No fun.
00:49:39Georgie, how's my boy?
00:49:40What's with the tea?
00:49:41Oh, wait till you see what I got here.
00:49:43I bet I can guess.
00:49:45Something that's dry that's going to get wet.
00:49:46Is he smart?
00:49:48Oh, regular Mr. X-ray.
00:49:50Bring anything for me?
00:49:51Sure, for you, I got my love.
00:49:54I'm going to stop being so generous.
00:49:55Well, when it comes to love, I'm a philanthropist.
00:49:57He's like a living gas taster.
00:49:58He gives away air.
00:50:00Oh, Acapulco.
00:50:01Here we come.
00:50:02Ain't those things great?
00:50:04You know, I don't care what they cost.
00:50:07How much?
00:50:08Ah, that salesman.
00:50:09You know what he did?
00:50:09He laid in an extra 10%.
00:50:11Yeah.
00:50:12Well, I hope he spends it on penicillin.
00:50:15You know, these things are very tricky.
00:50:18You've got to really know how to use them.
00:50:21You know?
00:50:22Yeah.
00:50:22Yeah.
00:50:25Watch me.
00:50:34Must be cheap rubber.
00:50:36Sit down.
00:50:37Come here.
00:50:38All right, come on.
00:50:39I can take care of myself.
00:50:42What are you staring at?
00:50:47What do you do with these?
00:50:48Oh, here, I'll show you.
00:50:49Here.
00:50:49All you two need is a flying saucer.
00:51:00Hey, wait a minute.
00:51:02Here, Eddie.
00:51:04Here.
00:51:05Yeah, not me.
00:51:06Hey, what a beaut.
00:51:07Look at that spear.
00:51:08Boy, I bet this thing could go right through the building.
00:51:10Vroom.
00:51:11Hey, read the instructions.
00:51:12Blue to one.
00:51:14Blue to one.
00:51:16How's it look out front?
00:51:24One to blue.
00:51:25I've got a clear shot from up here.
00:51:28Slob is at the far end of the dining room.
00:51:31Over.
00:51:32Blue to one.
00:51:32Gotcha.
00:51:33Continuing here.
00:51:34With all the other blanks we've drawn,
00:51:36I felt sure the bug or the phone in the booth
00:51:39would have given the department some kind of a lead.
00:51:42Well, the point of contact between Slob and Mr. Gregory
00:51:44has got to be here.
00:51:47The bottom of the ocean, it's kill or be killed.
00:51:50Remember, we're invading the kingdom of the sea monsters.
00:51:53And we're looking for the pappy of them all,
00:51:55old Pancho, the Mexican terror.
00:51:58There is a legend that old Pancho once tasted human blood
00:52:01and loves it.
00:52:03Hey, George, look, let's take a loss
00:52:05and buy two fishing poles, huh?
00:52:06Catch old Pancho on a pole, he'd never go for it.
00:52:09Come on, we're going below.
00:52:10What's wrong with staying on top?
00:52:12That's for corn balls.
00:52:14This is the new world.
00:52:15Well, if this is the new world,
00:52:16I'm going in the kitchen and take my life.
00:52:18Well, that's very decent of you, Slob.
00:52:20Be my guest.
00:52:23One to blue.
00:52:24One to blue.
00:52:26He started for the kitchen.
00:52:28Blue to one.
00:52:29Got you.
00:52:33One to blue.
00:52:42One to blue.
00:52:44Over, over.
00:52:46Peace on earth.
00:52:47Relax.
00:52:49Looks like he's staying put.
00:52:52Think you'll be much longer?
00:52:53Hurry.
00:52:54Boy, you're going to pop
00:53:03with that ever-loving warm Mexican water.
00:53:06But there's no air down there, man, could drown.
00:53:08You're better off than the fish with these snorkels.
00:53:10Look, George, I don't want to spoil your fun,
00:53:11but I just can't get in the mood.
00:53:12I'll get you in the mood.
00:53:14What?
00:53:15It's as simple as that.
00:53:22It's even simpler.
00:53:24You just float around
00:53:25without a worry in the world.
00:53:29No beefs.
00:53:30No noise.
00:53:32It's just lousy with quiet.
00:53:35Hey, I like that, huh?
00:53:37Hey.
00:53:37Do you think this could be Mr. Gregory?
00:53:52If that's Mr. Gregory,
00:53:54I'm taking him single-handed.
00:53:59If there ain't a fish
00:53:59at the bottom of the ocean,
00:54:00he ain't got more brains
00:54:01than both of them put together.
00:54:03It hurts me to agree with you,
00:54:04but I think you're right.
00:54:05Hey, there's old Pancho.
00:54:06Look at him.
00:54:07Go!
00:54:08Four to one, Pancho gets him first.
00:54:10You couldn't even get a pigeon
00:54:11to take that bet.
00:54:14My clothes!
00:54:16My clothes!
00:54:18You better get them off the line
00:54:20before they get wet.
00:54:21Hey!
00:54:22There's old Pancho!
00:54:23What a fish!
00:54:25He's all yours.
00:54:26Take it.
00:54:27I can't, George.
00:54:27I'm just getting sick already.
00:54:29What are you scared of?
00:54:29It's just a broken-down old fish.
00:54:31It'll go off.
00:54:31I can't touch it.
00:54:32It'll go off.
00:54:33How can it go off?
00:54:34Look, it's got a safety on it.
00:54:36See?
00:54:36Why, it's as safe as...
00:54:38Why, it's all at work as well.
00:54:39Dink! Dink! Dink! Dink!
00:54:44Dink! Dink! Kym!
00:55:09What are you, a lifeguard or something?
00:55:23Get a broom and clean this mess up.
00:55:25Well, you get to do all the fishing, and I got to do the dirty work, huh?
00:55:28What do you think? I hired you for your fancy French cooking?
00:55:32Hey, George, are you hurt?
00:55:33Only my dignity. Come on.
00:55:39Turn it over. Action.
00:55:47Well, get it out of there, pal.
00:55:54Hi, George.
00:55:55Hi.
00:55:57All right, come on, quick.
00:55:59I can do it. Come on, you're with me.
00:56:09Man, where'd you get those crazy sports shoes?
00:56:23Hey, slob, so you won't have to make two trips. Take these boxes and paper, will you?
00:56:28It's a good thing I ain't wired. You be shoving me around like a vacuum cleaner.
00:56:31Hey, Connie, this harpoon works like a million bucks. Boom!
00:56:35You should have seen George nail old Pancho.
00:56:38How about a drink?
00:56:39Don't bend my arm.
00:56:41Looks like the wolves want me tonight.
00:56:43Two burgers fully dressed.
00:56:44Got you.
00:56:45Hey, look at this.
00:56:46Claude Dillon, university maintenance engineer, murdered.
00:56:47Mr. Dillon's mysterious disappearance a week ago was solved when his body was found in the bay this morning.
00:56:51Let me see that.
00:56:52Hey, I know that face. He used to come in here all the time.
00:56:54Don't bend my arm.
00:56:55Don't bend my arm.
00:56:56Don't bend my arm.
00:56:57Looks like the wolves want me tonight.
00:56:58Two burgers fully dressed.
00:56:59Got you.
00:57:00Hey, look at this.
00:57:01Claude Dillon, university maintenance engineer, murdered.
00:57:03Well, I think he knew he was Waitin' back.
00:57:04Anybody was found in the bay this morning.
00:57:08Let me see that.
00:57:11Hey, I know that face.
00:57:12He used to come in here all the time.
00:57:14An odyssey disclosed the knife wound on the victim's back.
00:57:17You remember him, honey.
00:57:18Used to eat that banana cream pie all the time.
00:57:21Boy, I bet there'd be excitement up at the university tonight.
00:57:23Yeah, and he wasn't killed for his money.
00:57:25A wallet with 60 bucks was found on him.
00:57:27Knife in the back, what a lousy way to go.
00:57:30Yes, I bet he didn't have a chance.
00:57:32What's all the noise for?
00:57:33Look what happened to one of our customers.
00:57:36Who's that?
00:57:37Well, Professor Dillon from off the university.
00:57:39He got murdered.
00:57:40You knew Mr. Dillon?
00:57:41Me?
00:57:42I never knew him.
00:57:43Sure you did.
00:57:44He used to come in here with the professor all the time.
00:57:47Maybe.
00:57:48I must have missed him.
00:57:49Hey, those burgers are burning.
00:57:51I wonder why anybody would want to kill anybody.
00:57:54A crazy world like this, you gotta have a reason?
00:57:56Hey, it's Tuesday already.
00:57:58You want to go to market with me?
00:57:59Sure.
00:58:00Wait a minute.
00:58:01Will I leave my car?
00:58:02I'll bring it back.
00:58:03Pick him up.
00:58:04Hey, Tony.
00:58:05Want to go home?
00:58:06Maybe we'll see an all night show.
00:58:07Slot can close up early.
00:58:09I don't think so.
00:58:10I feel like I'm catching a cold.
00:58:19Well, if it ain't Moby Dick, where have you been?
00:58:21My truck broke down.
00:58:23All right.
00:58:24You're five minutes down the road.
00:58:25The fish could have walked.
00:58:27How long they been in this basket?
00:58:30What difference is it Mike?
00:58:31Everything you save is dead anyway.
00:58:33Hey.
00:58:34Your chicken truck is blocking the entrance.
00:58:36I had to walk all the way around in the mud.
00:58:38So what?
00:58:39Nothing can hurt your canoe.
00:58:40All men are created equal.
00:58:43If Lincoln ever got a look at Perch, he never would have said that.
00:58:46George, will you quit burning?
00:58:47You ought to be glad it's raining.
00:58:48Why?
00:58:49Am I selling umbrellas or something?
00:58:51Did you read the evening papers?
00:58:52No way.
00:58:53They found Dylan.
00:58:54I told you to weigh him down good.
00:58:55I did.
00:58:56I put those wires in a litter on him real tight.
00:58:58Look, he was so heavy I could hardly lift him when I dumped him.
00:58:59Must have done a sloppy job, otherwise he wouldn't have come up.
00:59:00I know my business.
00:59:01You know nothing.
00:59:02I'm telling you I don't like it.
00:59:03I'll get out.
00:59:04Hey Ed, catch!
00:59:05You owe me eight even.
00:59:06I'll pay it next time.
00:59:07What's wrong with now?
00:59:08Look, if you can be late I can be late.
00:59:13Hey Ed, catch.
00:59:21You owe me eight even.
00:59:25I'll pay you next time.
00:59:27What's wrong with now?
00:59:29Look, if you can be late I can be late.
00:59:31Look, if you can be late, I can be late.
00:59:33I hope you'll get fat on the interest.
00:59:38That Abe winking.
00:59:40What's the matter? You don't look so good.
00:59:42Take a drink and go to bed, honey.
00:59:44I will.
00:59:45You take care of yourself.
00:59:46Next time we come, I want to see rosy cheeks
00:59:48and a pretty smile on your face.
00:59:50All kidding aside, we take a genuine interest in it.
00:59:53You take an interest in a lot of things around here.
00:59:57What do you mean by that crack?
00:59:59You figure it out.
01:00:00Lay off. Can't you see she don't feel good?
01:00:03Let's blow it.
01:00:04So long. See you all around next time.
01:00:06Take it easy.
01:00:09No fever.
01:00:10Maybe it's your stomach.
01:00:11I'll tell you what, I'll bring you back something.
01:00:13Knock off.
01:00:14Slimey can start closing up any time now.
01:00:17Sure.
01:00:18I guess you'll be asleep when we get back.
01:00:20Hope you feel better.
01:00:21I'll be all right.
01:00:23Goodbye, Eddie.
01:00:24Good night, chicky.
01:00:30Good night.
01:00:31Take it easy.
01:00:32I'll be away from you.
01:00:33How did you see you.
01:00:34Good night.
01:00:35Player, Todd.
01:00:36My sweet heart, the arc.
01:00:37I'm not used to death, Ruth.
01:00:38This is a moment.
01:00:39I'm not used to death.
01:00:40You are used to death.
01:00:41I'm not used to death.
01:00:42I am used to death.
01:00:43I was used to death with your blood.
01:00:44You're used to death.
01:00:47And I'm used to death.
01:00:48I was used to death.
01:00:49I was used to death.
01:02:06You and that loud music.
01:02:08What's the matter? Could you hear what I said?
01:02:10Look, the only thing I want to hear is the rattle of them dirty dishes.
01:02:13Now get them in the kitchen so I can finish up.
01:03:18You're terrible about Mr. Dillon.
01:03:20You're such a nice guy.
01:03:22Every time a guy's dead everybody says he's nice.
01:03:25Was he bad when he was alive?
01:03:31How would I know?
01:03:32You're a liar. You knew Dillon.
01:03:34I don't know Dylan.
01:03:36Maybe I know him, but I don't remember him.
01:03:38Quit acting.
01:03:41What's eating you?
01:03:42You'll find out.
01:03:44You crazy?
01:03:45Not as crazy as you and your pals.
01:03:47Truck drivers with soft hands sneaking around,
01:03:50meeting in your room.
01:03:52Oh, don't give me that innocent look.
01:03:54I saw them crawling out of your room tonight
01:03:56when I took my clothes off the line.
01:03:59Artie, happy in my room tonight?
01:04:04Why don't you phone the police?
01:04:16You should if there's been a robbery.
01:04:19But I'll bet nothing's missing.
01:04:22Except a man's life.
01:04:29A bear that walks like a man.
01:04:34I know all about you.
01:04:36The Professor Artie, your secret meetings.
01:05:04It's been a while to make videos onyipug.
01:05:06I know.
01:05:07The Professor Artie is крут Ян Puri.
01:05:09The Professor Artie, my dear Science,
01:05:18helping me clean up our house.
01:05:22How to fight the lock?
01:05:24I need to buy a phone in the workplace though.
01:05:26I have 10 minutes left.
01:05:28I бы panked my pants.
01:05:29United Seafood, we're closed.
01:05:45Slob, what's the matter?
01:05:47Don't ask any questions. Get the boat ready. How soon can you get here?
01:05:49Well, I've got to refuel. It'll take a little time.
01:05:51We'll put enough gas in to get us to Mexican waters.
01:05:53Was it not bad?
01:05:54Bad enough. You know those two truck drivers from Acme Poultry?
01:05:57The tomatoes saw him tonight, sneaking out of my room.
01:06:00I don't get it.
01:06:01There's nothing to get. They must be federal men.
01:06:03Federal men? What was the professor doing with them?
01:06:06The professor? Sam Bastian?
01:06:07Yeah. I was making my last delivery as I passed the gas station down at the fork.
01:06:11I saw them gabbing again. You'd think that...
01:06:13Don't think. Just get here as fast as you can.
01:06:15Anchor off the beach and sound your foghorn twice.
01:06:17Then run your dinghy up on the shore. I'll be waiting.
01:06:29I don't think any minutes from Saturday to Friday.
01:06:49I'm good to go.
01:06:59Get out! Get out of my room!
01:07:12The tomato knows all about me, huh?
01:07:14Out! Get out, garbage pile!
01:07:17That's not what I want to hear. You've got a big mouth. Now start using it, tomato.
01:07:20Come on, I'm waiting!
01:07:22Wait, oh, George. Wait, oh, I tell him what you're using his shack for.
01:07:25He'll chop you up to your hands.
01:07:26That's not what I want to hear. Come on, talk.
01:07:29You don't want to talk, huh?
01:07:33You think I'm fooling with you, huh?
01:07:42See what a nice guy I am.
01:07:43I gave you a chance to get away. I gave you two chances, but I'm not going to give you any more.
01:07:46Now come on, talk. I'm not a patient man!
01:07:50What do you know?
01:07:51I know you're going to hang, and I know I'm going to last the day I raised him.
01:07:54Go on. Where did you get your permission?
01:07:57What did the professor tell you?
01:07:58What did the professor tell you?
01:08:00Oh, shit!
01:08:07You think I'm fooling with you.
01:08:08It's nice to talk, I mean talk!
01:08:10Come on.
01:08:19I thought we were going to be pals, huh?
01:08:21That's the way you talked to me.
01:08:23Open up!
01:08:37Open up!
01:08:53Open up!
01:09:23Open up!
01:09:33Why'd you close up so early?
01:09:34Well, George's orders.
01:09:36Boy, I thought I'd never make it. It had to come the inland route.
01:09:39Radio said it was a flash flood.
01:09:43Highway to San Diego was locked off. There are two mountain slides on 101.
01:09:50Where's Connie?
01:09:51She went to the market with George.
01:09:53Good. They're not going to be back for a while if they get back at all.
01:09:59Now, we're not going to need this on the shelves.
01:10:01The money?
01:10:11Sure. And I got a surprise for you.
01:10:15How would you like to meet Mr. Gregory?
01:10:16When?
01:10:16Tonight. Off the coast of Ensenada. I rented a boat to take us there.
01:10:25I'm disappointed, Professor. You don't act the way I thought you would.
01:10:30Well, don't be ridiculous. It's just that you should have let me know. I've got a faculty meeting tomorrow. I could have cancelled it had I known.
01:10:38Well, everything happened so fast I didn't have a chance to call.
01:10:41But, uh, we can make it some other time. Mr. Gregory will understand.
01:10:45No, no. I'll, uh, I'll call my house boy and tell him to phone the university in the morning and tell him that I'm sick.
01:10:52Yeah. Why don't you do that?
01:10:56Let's go.
01:11:26What kind of a uniform is your houseboy wear?
01:11:30I bet he carries a gold-plated badge.
01:11:32Did you really think I'd let you make that call?
01:11:36I surprised you, huh?
01:11:38You surprised me, too.
01:11:40I never figured you.
01:11:41If you'd been a flag-waver, we're a big doer.
01:11:43We're playing the part of a mercenary.
01:11:45In the future, I'll watch out for you, our kind.
01:11:48I still owe you one belt on the count of the one you gave me for the tomato.
01:11:51Then I had to take it.
01:11:52It's part of the game.
01:11:53But now...
01:11:56I hated to do it, Professor.
01:12:16Professor, especially since the tomato told me about Artie and Pepe.
01:12:23That's how I found out about you.
01:12:26You knew they were from intelligence, but you wouldn't tell me.
01:12:31Artie and Pepe from intelligence?
01:12:34You're not with Slob?
01:12:38I'd rather be dead.
01:12:40That's what Professors Ronker and Gerhardt said.
01:12:42But they changed their minds under a little pressure, and so will you.
01:12:45You'll work together.
01:12:46And now, tomato, I'm going to get even with you.
01:13:01You're coming along with us.
01:13:03And somewhere in the waters of Mexico, I'm going to feed you to old Pancho.
01:13:07I don't want to kill you, Professor.
01:13:09Because I know how important you are to Mr. Gregory.
01:13:11Still, you force me.
01:13:12Hey, Slob, are you going crazy?
01:13:16Come on, give me the gun.
01:13:19Well, give it to me.
01:13:20Come on.
01:13:26Slob.
01:13:28It's me, George.
01:13:29He's not Slob.
01:13:32Hi.
01:13:34Yeah, Mr. Gregory.
01:13:35I see no harm in admitting it, now that we're on our way.
01:13:39Hey, Slob, you lost all your buttons?
01:13:40No, George.
01:13:41He's got all four feet on the ground.
01:13:44Can't you see what's happened?
01:13:45The apes have taken over.
01:13:47When we were busy watching television and filling our freezes,
01:13:50they've come out of the jungle and moved in.
01:13:52And what's worse is they've begun to dress like us and pretend to think like us.
01:13:57We're just where we were in the beginning.
01:13:59The animals have begun to hunt man.
01:14:03They are all apes.
01:14:05Every last one of them.
01:14:07But you're so desperate for security that you'll take any promise that vaguely resembles it.
01:14:12Well, I don't blame you for looking down at the apes.
01:14:14But you overlook one important factor.
01:14:17Their leaders are not apes.
01:14:19They're up now with a fine government that's just invaded our country, and this is the beachhead.
01:14:23What have we ever done to you?
01:14:24Why do you want to change our lives?
01:14:26You've got your own place building up tarragonic.
01:14:28We want to eat each other, eat each other.
01:14:29Just leave us alone.
01:14:30Your lives are in jeopardy, and you stand there arguing.
01:14:40George, get him in and close the door.
01:14:43And don't fry anything, or I'll blow the tomato's head off.
01:14:49Get over to the counter.
01:14:53Move!
01:15:04I thought I told you to get the police.
01:15:06You're armed.
01:15:07Forget the armed.
01:15:08Get the police.
01:15:09Why, it's two miles to the nearest home.
01:15:10No cars on the road.
01:15:11Take me an hour to walk there.
01:15:13You're armed.
01:15:14George, get in here.
01:15:15Those are the breaks.
01:15:30Had he begged me to stay in a motel with him tonight.
01:15:32Wait till the storm was over, but I wouldn't listen.
01:15:35Here I am bleeding like a stuck pig, and he's sleeping like a baby.
01:15:38Not a lousy break.
01:15:39That's not a lousy break, that's destiny.
01:15:43Man makes his own destiny, doesn't he, Professor?
01:15:46I'll make a deal with you.
01:15:49You leave Connie and George here, I'll go along and make no trouble.
01:15:52Don't make any deals with that garbage pail.
01:15:54I'd like to accommodate you, Professor, but unfortunately they know who I am.
01:15:57They'll have to come along.
01:15:59Where are we going?
01:15:59On a one-way cruise to Mexican waters.
01:16:02You dumping us?
01:16:03It's exactly what he plans to do.
01:16:05How do you like that?
01:16:06I was figuring on getting old Pancho, it looks like old Pancho's going to get me.
01:16:10Well, there's one consolation, George.
01:16:12Eddie can even an old score for you.
01:16:15All he'd have to do is get a hold of himself, put his hand on that harpoon and shoot someday.
01:16:21Not that physical coward.
01:16:22No, your harpoon would have no use.
01:16:24That's a man's weapon.
01:16:26You're crazy.
01:16:27You think Eddie's chicken, but he's got more guts than you'll ever have.
01:16:30That's right, Coddy.
01:16:31Remember he used to tell you about D-Day?
01:16:33Omaha Beach was just running in blood and Eddie waited right through all of it just to get to me.
01:16:37I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for him.
01:16:38That took guts.
01:16:39Oh, I don't wish your breath, George.
01:16:41Mr. Gregory doesn't understand your relationship with Eddie.
01:16:43Where he comes from, they annihilate their friends.
01:16:46He doesn't believe that Eddie would die for you, kill for you if necessary.
01:16:50Yes, even kill for you.
01:17:03Come on, sir.
01:17:04Come on.
01:17:06Come on.
01:17:14Come on.
01:17:18героia.
01:17:23Lord, roars.
01:17:23Hold it!
01:17:53The End
01:18:23The End
01:18:53You got him Eddie
01:19:02You got him
01:19:03You missed old Pancho
01:19:05But you got old Slavo
01:19:06My first fish and it had to be a man
01:19:09George
01:19:10I'm gonna be sick
01:19:11So all the time the professor was only playing a game
01:19:30That's right
01:19:31With me too
01:19:36From the beginning, yes
01:19:38But you had too much ammunition for me
01:19:42Thank you
01:19:52Why?
01:19:53Why?
01:19:54Why?
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