- 2 days ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Satsang with Mooji
00:02:00Good evening, mate.
00:02:16Looks like a good one coming on.
00:02:17Yes, be super, I'm afraid.
00:02:19The old one in particular.
00:02:20You ask me, it's going to be black.
00:02:21Long time since we had one of them.
00:02:23Well, good night.
00:02:24Good night.
00:02:24Good night.
00:02:42what are we stopping for the rest of the night i should think governor what street's this
00:02:59it was barclane when i seen it last anything i can do i want to get a dorset square out
00:03:04now tonight sir your best bet is the royal park's hotel where's that just here sir follow me
00:03:12bring the bags will you yes sir
00:03:15be careful three steps here sir
00:03:21all right thanks very much thanks
00:03:23i want a single room and bath please just for tonight i'm sorry sir the best i can offer you
00:03:34is a small suite we're almost following to the fog fog all right 317 this way sir
00:03:53so
00:04:13so
00:04:23Can we sit down?
00:04:30Well, Mesa in May's all right, but Mesa's nice.
00:04:34Don't be so unpatriotic, Michael.
00:04:36Fog is one of our greatest attractions.
00:04:38That's what the Americans come to see us for.
00:04:41Ladies and gentlemen, the committee wished me to announce
00:04:44that owing to the extremely bad fog tonight,
00:04:46those of you who have any considerable distance to travel
00:04:49are advised to stop overnight in the hotel.
00:04:52There, now. May I take you home, Leslie?
00:04:55No, thank you, Michael.
00:04:56I think I'll take the committee's advice and try and stay here tonight.
00:04:59I doubt if you'll get a room.
00:05:01Look at the crowd storming the reception plant there.
00:05:08Just you leave it to me. Good night, Michael.
00:05:10Good night, Michael.
00:05:11I'm sorry, Michael.
00:05:12There's not every single room in the house.
00:05:13We have nothing.
00:05:14That was the last room.
00:05:15What was it?
00:05:16I will ask the manager.
00:05:17Monsieur Bianco said we can do something for you.
00:05:18We will, I'm sure.
00:05:19Monsieur Bianco, please.
00:05:20Please, please, please.
00:05:21Please, please, please.
00:05:22Ladies and gentlemen, every room in this hotel is taken.
00:05:23The best I can do for you is to offer you accommodation
00:05:24in the lounge and in the reception rooms.
00:05:25There are some very comfortable divans and chairs
00:05:26and you will be welcomed.
00:05:27Surely some of the guests with sweets will be willing to give up their sitting rooms for one night.
00:05:30I will ask the manager.
00:05:31I will ask the manager.
00:05:32Monsieur Bianco said we can do something for you.
00:05:33We will, I'm sure.
00:05:34Monsieur Bianco, please.
00:05:36Please, please, please.
00:05:37Ladies and gentlemen, every room in this hotel is taken.
00:05:40The best I can do for you is to offer you accommodation in the lounge and in the reception rooms.
00:05:45There are some very comfortable divans and chairs and you will be welcomed.
00:05:48Surely some of the guests with sweets will be willing to give up their sitting rooms for one night.
00:05:56Oh.
00:05:57Perhaps, sir.
00:05:58I will try.
00:05:59Will you come with me, madam?
00:06:00This way, please.
00:06:11What time of the morning, sir?
00:06:12Eight o'clock sharp, please, with breakfast.
00:06:14China tea, two boiled eggs, medium done.
00:06:16The time's in October.
00:06:17Thank you very much, sir.
00:06:18Good night, sir.
00:06:19Good night, sir.
00:06:20Hello.
00:06:21You good?
00:06:22I will ring me when you get them, will you?
00:06:26Oh, attorney.
00:06:27Just a moment, lady.
00:06:28Perhaps the gentleman in this seat will help us.
00:06:29Come in.
00:06:30Good evening, sir.
00:06:31I am the manager of this hotel.
00:06:32How do you know?
00:06:33On to the fog.
00:06:34Many of the guests who have been attending a bowl find it impossible to get home.
00:06:36I am most anxious to find bedrooms for the ladies, and I hope you could help me.
00:06:43In what way?
00:06:44Well, we have several divans in the lounge, still vacant, and the chairs on the ground floor
00:06:49are very comfortable.
00:06:50You want me to give up this suite, don't you?
00:06:51If you would, please.
00:06:52I see.
00:06:53Now, let me make myself clear.
00:06:54I've been traveling for two days.
00:06:55I've had an extremely filthy crossing.
00:06:56My train was two hours later, Victorian station.
00:06:57I'm very tired and very cross.
00:06:58In fact, quite wild with fatigue.
00:06:59But I am the legal possessor.
00:07:00I am the legal possessor.
00:07:01I am the legal possessor.
00:07:02I am the legal possessor.
00:07:03I am demand for this suite.
00:07:04And I am determined to defend it with every power in my possession.
00:07:06Good night.
00:07:19But sir, if you would just give up your sitting room, I could accommodate four ladies.
00:07:28Well, sir!
00:07:29And my turn is here.
00:07:30You are very lonely.
00:07:31No, no. No, I know the ladies and I know myself. They'll have me out of here in five minutes.
00:07:36I'm very sorry. What I'd laid really, very badly is a good night's sleep.
00:07:39And I shall have that, though every lady in London thinks me a cad, a brute and a beast. Good night.
00:07:44Good night.
00:07:47By the way, is there a do not disturb card there?
00:07:51Very key. You might hang it on the door for me as you go out, will you?
00:07:57Very well.
00:08:01Oh, snap!
00:08:10Oh!
00:08:11Oh, smash!
00:08:11Oh, everybody!
00:08:12With all the popping, it looks ready for everyone.
00:08:24.
00:08:29Ma'am, I'm awfully sorry, dear. It really wasn't my fault. I really am terribly disappointed. Really, I'm quite, quite heartbroken, dear.
00:08:39Why? Well, dear, the train was late. Late. Yes, there was a fog. Now, F-O-G. F as in fudge, dear.
00:08:50No, dear, fudge. O as in osteopor. Yes, dear.
00:08:56What? Why don't you spend it with your husband for a change?
00:09:00No, no, no. Go on now. Go to school. Can't you read?
00:09:05No, no, I wasn't talking to you. I'm very sorry, darling.
00:09:07Well, I'll read it for you. It says, do not disturb.
00:09:12Aren't it? No, I don't know. Oh, go on, darling. He's never ever looking at anybody else.
00:09:17That's silly.
00:09:20No, it does not. It's more polite. It says, please do not disturb.
00:09:25Well? Well, what? That's just what I'd like to know. To whom do I owe the unexpected pleasure to post visit? I mean, what's the general idea?
00:09:50I was just looking for something.
00:09:55Oh, well, whatever it is, I'm afraid you won't find it in my room.
00:09:59I'm very tired. And I was looking for a place to sleep.
00:10:03Oh.
00:10:05And this seems practically ideal for that purpose.
00:10:08Yes, that's just what I was thinking when you came bursting in.
00:10:11I didn't burst. I crept.
00:10:13Oh, may I ask when you propose to creep out again?
00:10:15Oh, after the usual eight hours and breakfast.
00:10:18Oh, really? So we're going to bunk in together, are we?
00:10:21There are two rooms, one for each of us.
00:10:24Yes, but both beds are in here.
00:10:27There's a couch in there. You can have the couch.
00:10:31What?
00:10:35Of all the shameless impudence, was there ever anything more female and you actually thought you could get away with it?
00:10:39If you had any decent feelings, you'd insist on turning out.
00:10:42Did you or did you not hear what I said to the manager?
00:10:44Naturally, I overheard some of it.
00:10:46Yes, with so little feeling that you would pilch my bed from under my very nose,
00:10:49knowing perfectly well that I've been up for two nights and I've got a hard day's work tomorrow,
00:10:52assuming I can't resist your fascination.
00:10:54I'm really very sleepy. Will you please go?
00:10:59You don't really mean that? You're much too nice to turn me out?
00:11:05Nice! My dear young lady, you don't know me. The trouble with me is that I'm weak.
00:11:10A charming young girl like you could put anything over on me in five minutes,
00:11:13but at least I know my weakness, so I force myself to be rude.
00:11:16Sometimes even brutal.
00:11:18You do like talking about yourself, don't you?
00:11:20Yes, most men do, but at least they know the truth about themselves. Women don't.
00:11:24They only know the truth about each other.
00:11:26Well, we'll have a nice long talk about you some other time.
00:11:29Now, as you're so very tired, I won't keep you up, so good night.
00:11:34What did you say?
00:11:39I said, good night.
00:11:41Well, yes, I heard you say good night, but what do you mean by saying good night?
00:11:44You can't come here and say things like that. Look here, I'm very, very tired. Will you please go?
00:11:47You don't mean that.
00:11:48Oh, yes, I do. I've met too many women like you before.
00:11:51Conceited, sure of yourself, and sure of your power over men.
00:11:53Utterly unscrupulous, ruthless, conceited, spoiled!
00:11:56Don't do that!
00:11:57You're married, aren't you?
00:11:59Yes.
00:12:00Yes.
00:12:01Yes, yes, I look.
00:12:02There's a poor, wretched husband waiting for you, sitting at home, wondering where you are, hoping against hope that his worst fears aren't justified.
00:12:10And this time, for once, they aren't. This time, you're with a man who isn't in the least bit stirred by your challenge.
00:12:14Now, I must repeat, will you, please?
00:12:16How do you know so much about women?
00:12:18Because in my profession, I have to be able to see what's behind those lovely deceiving lips.
00:12:22Are you a dentist?
00:12:23No!
00:12:24I'm a barrister.
00:12:25And the next time we meet, we'll probably be in court when your husband is suing you for a divorce.
00:12:29Divorce? Oh, no, he'd never do that.
00:12:31You must have a very beautiful nature.
00:12:33You've had a very tiring journey, have you?
00:12:34Yes, I have!
00:12:35And it's such a pity that the fog made you late and spoiled your evening.
00:12:39But remember, it's that same fog that's now keeping me from going home to my dear husband.
00:12:43If you don't mind my asking, what is your name?
00:12:48I do mind a little.
00:12:51Good.
00:12:52You have some sense of discretion anyway.
00:12:54And you may have my couch for the night.
00:12:56No, you're in school!
00:12:57Why not you?
00:12:58Keep away from me or I might change my mind.
00:13:06Good night, Lady X.
00:13:09Good night, you dear!
00:13:13Kind.
00:13:14Generous.
00:13:17Beautiful man!
00:13:18Oh!
00:13:36Oh, mister!
00:13:37What is it?
00:13:38Would you come in here for a minute?
00:13:40Please?
00:13:46What?
00:13:47I thought I'd try the couch, but you see for yourself it's impossible to sleep on.
00:13:50There's a nice thick rug on the floor. Try that.
00:13:52But there are two beds in your room.
00:13:56Well...
00:13:59I'd never dream of such a thing.
00:14:01But...
00:14:02We could move one of the beds in here, couldn't we?
00:14:07Well, yes, I suppose we could.
00:14:11I'll ring for the waiter.
00:14:13Do you think we should disturb him?
00:14:16No.
00:14:17No, perhaps we shouldn't.
00:14:19No.
00:14:20No, perhaps we shouldn't.
00:14:22If you'll wait here, I'll bring it in myself.
00:14:25I'll come and help you.
00:14:27I've read, jump in and help.
00:14:28I can't help you.
00:14:29Oh, I wouldn't dream of letting you do it by yourself.
00:14:30You were kind enough to offer me.
00:14:31Oh, then I must offer you my hand.
00:14:32All right, we'll take that in, will you?
00:14:33Now, when I say, to me, from you.
00:14:34To me, from you.
00:14:35No, no, no.
00:14:36From you, to me.
00:14:37From you, to me.
00:14:38From you, to me.
00:14:39I think you'd better leave this to me, if you love it.
00:14:56Come on.
00:14:57Is it all the way you're going to get?
00:14:58Come on, in there.
00:14:59Is this perfectly good enough for you?
00:15:01Come on, very lucky to get this.
00:15:03You're going to be very angry about it.
00:15:05Stand there.
00:15:06Let me do it.
00:15:07Goodness sake, John, try to help me again.
00:15:09I'll shoot him for my dog.
00:15:10Women all the same.
00:15:11Can't help anybody.
00:15:12Come on, young man, move her bed without killing him.
00:15:15They can't even try and attempt to make her bed.
00:15:18John's in my home.
00:15:19Surely hopeless.
00:15:22About six, poor scout.
00:15:23Oh, come on.
00:15:26Like serious?
00:15:28Regal?
00:15:29Could anyone ask about a better place to spend the night?
00:15:31No.
00:15:32Good night.
00:15:33Good night.
00:15:34Good night.
00:15:43Good night.
00:15:48Oh, and thank you.
00:15:50Good night.
00:15:51Good night.
00:16:07Good night.
00:16:13Good night.
00:16:15what is it i can't possibly seep in this costume you better take it off
00:16:24what should i put on far as i'm concerned nothing you always think of yourself
00:16:32can't you spare some pajamas take those off the bed
00:16:38what's the matter how can a man wear a wig and robe with dignity in an english court of
00:16:45this represent his taste do you think i have time to go and buy pajamas then break with
00:16:48her with whom she who buys pajamas such as these cannot be a good woman break with her
00:16:54we parted six months ago then there's some hope for you perhaps
00:17:15now what is it you seem to have forgotten me i wish i could what are you wondering what is it you seem to have forgotten me
00:17:30now what is it you seem to have forgotten me i wish i could what do you want the elementary
00:17:46right of a wash and here's the bathroom but i have to cross your bedroom well you're wearing
00:17:52my pajamas aren't you that's the trouble well what do you expect me to do jump out of the window
00:17:56either that or turn your face to the wall
00:17:59i'm facing the wall
00:18:04now don't you move how long for until i tell you
00:18:11i have to become giddy if i go on staring at this wall paper
00:18:15set your eyes
00:18:16sound the alarm if you're approaching again
00:18:21sound of like you every day
00:18:28in the air
00:18:30sound of like you
00:18:32sound of like you
00:18:34you
00:18:36sound of like you
00:18:38sound of a voice
00:18:40sound of like you
00:18:41sound of like you
00:18:42I'm sorry
00:18:44Is that the alarm?
00:18:53Not yet.
00:18:55What are you doing?
00:18:57I'm in bed.
00:19:09Didn't you say one could sleep just as well out there?
00:19:11I did.
00:19:12Have it then.
00:19:14It's better for both of us.
00:19:15For both of us?
00:19:17Well, can't you see what a delicate, what a painful situation I'm in?
00:19:21Out there, I'm a guest trespassing on a man's chivalry.
00:19:24And here, with everything around me, the, uh, that and that.
00:19:28I feel less like an intruder and more like the legal owner of the suite.
00:19:32I see.
00:19:34Your conscience at rest.
00:19:35Just think how much better you'd sleep.
00:19:37All right.
00:19:38You win.
00:19:39Oh, no, no, no.
00:19:40You win.
00:19:41Over yourself.
00:19:42You win.
00:19:43I shall see you one day in the divorce court.
00:19:50You'll never see me in the divorce court.
00:19:51Don't you purge yourself.
00:19:53I shall see you in the divorce court if this is a sample of your ordinary behavior.
00:19:56But is there anything wrong in what we do?
00:19:58Is there anything wrong in what I do?
00:20:12No.
00:20:13Good night.
00:20:15Good night.
00:20:16Sleep well.
00:20:17I shall see you in the divorce court.
00:20:34I shall see you in the divorce court.
00:20:36I shall see you in the divorce court.
00:20:36What are you looking for?
00:21:06My book.
00:21:13You give me that book.
00:21:14You can take any other book but this.
00:21:15There is no other book but that.
00:21:17But I simply couldn't give this up.
00:21:18I must know who killed the wealthy and wise Chinese banker.
00:21:21Don't tell me.
00:21:22I want to do it myself.
00:21:23I've only read half of it.
00:21:24Here, I'll make you an offer.
00:21:25The offer is unacceptable.
00:21:26But you can't read the whole book tonight.
00:21:28Oh, but I very seldom do that.
00:21:29I read the beginning and I read the end.
00:21:31Can you kill someone so?
00:21:36Can it have been the mysterious lady in pajamas?
00:21:41Yes.
00:21:42Oh!
00:21:43Oh!
00:21:44Oh!
00:21:45Oh!
00:21:46Oh!
00:21:48Oh!
00:21:50Oh!
00:21:52Oh!
00:21:53Oh!
00:21:54Oh.
00:21:58Oh!
00:22:00Oh!
00:22:04Oh!
00:23:06Good morning, sir. Eight o'clock, sir. Nice morning.
00:23:11Your breakfast is served, sir.
00:23:13What?
00:23:14Your breakfast is served, madam.
00:23:16Oh, thank you.
00:23:19Would you bring another one, please?
00:23:21Another what, madam?
00:23:23Another breakfast?
00:23:25Certainly, sir.
00:23:27Madam.
00:23:27Oh, my God.
00:24:27Who's that?
00:24:42Must you seize the bath precisely at 8 o'clock?
00:24:44Oh, did you have a good night's sleep?
00:24:46I've had a rotten night's sleep and I've got to be in court for half past 10.
00:24:49Sharp it all now.
00:24:50Yes, we all know what that means.
00:24:57Hello.
00:24:59What about my breakfast?
00:25:01What?
00:25:02What do you mean I've had two already?
00:25:06The second breakfast, madam.
00:25:10I mean, sir.
00:25:12What's the matter with you?
00:25:13Well, the fog was pretty severe last night, sir, and things seemed to be a little disorganized this morning.
00:25:21You're telling me?
00:25:21Take that into the other room.
00:25:22Yes, what about that one, sir?
00:25:25Better than that, too.
00:25:27Better than that.
00:25:33Now, good morning.
00:25:35Good morning.
00:25:36Good morning.
00:25:36Good morning.
00:25:37Good morning.
00:25:41Good morning.
00:25:45Hello?
00:25:46Barclay 6347.
00:25:50Hello.
00:25:51Hello.
00:25:51Is that you, Jeffress?
00:25:52Is his lordship down yet?
00:25:54No, no, don't disturb him.
00:25:55But, um, will you tell him I spent the night with the Royal Parks Hotel?
00:25:57Then I'll be along later.
00:25:58Well, you know what his lordship's like, Miss Leslie.
00:26:00Like he's naughty beyond your tail from being on the tiles last night.
00:26:03You'd better give me your room number, if you please.
00:26:06Oh.
00:26:07Uh, beautiful.
00:26:09What's the number of this room?
00:26:10317.
00:26:11I was talking to the waiter.
00:26:13Uh, what did you say?
00:26:14317.
00:26:15317.
00:26:16Yes.
00:26:17Goodbye.
00:26:20What have we done with my breakfast?
00:26:22It's a lair.
00:26:24Do you think of everything?
00:26:26Breakfast is served, sir.
00:26:28Ma...
00:26:29It's ready.
00:26:30Ah, good.
00:26:32By the way, what is your name?
00:26:35Logan.
00:26:36Logan?
00:26:37No, not Logan.
00:26:38It's not Chinese.
00:26:39Logan.
00:26:40Don't like it.
00:26:46For me?
00:26:47Yes.
00:26:54Ma'am?
00:26:55Oh, yes.
00:26:56Do.
00:26:57Come on.
00:26:58Only don't pass the butter.
00:26:59Oh, yes.
00:27:05Oh, look what you've done.
00:27:06You've got it in the butter and the marmalade.
00:27:14Allow me.
00:27:20That's all?
00:27:26I ordered these eggs medium boiled.
00:27:28Disgraceful.
00:27:29In a big hotel like this.
00:27:30Yours the same?
00:27:31No, Mona.
00:27:32Just right.
00:27:40Cold.
00:27:41Like...
00:27:42Dishwater.
00:27:43Try some marmalade.
00:27:44It'll probably taste a printer's ink.
00:27:47No, thank you.
00:27:48You must eat something, you know, with a long, hard day's work ahead of you.
00:27:51I really don't want it to think, thank you.
00:27:55Do you mind telling me this morning what your name is?
00:27:59Leslie.
00:28:01What Leslie?
00:28:02Leslie.
00:28:03Leslie is my Christian name.
00:28:05Oh.
00:28:07Leslie.
00:28:09And.
00:28:11What's yours?
00:28:16Everard.
00:28:17What?
00:28:18Everard.
00:28:19Incredible.
00:28:20You don't like that either?
00:28:21Never get used to that.
00:28:22Well, who's asking you to?
00:28:23Is there anything else you'd like to know?
00:28:24Yes, one more thing.
00:28:25You always like this in the morning?
00:28:26Until I have my first cigarette.
00:28:27There you go.
00:28:28Thank you, sir.
00:28:29Thank you, sir.
00:28:30You're very sorry for the woman you're going to marry.
00:28:31I shan't marry.
00:28:32Unless I can arrange that little divorce for you.
00:28:33Hmm.
00:28:34Heavens.
00:28:35Fine.
00:28:37What do you say?
00:28:38you're very sorry for the woman you're going to marry i shan't marry unless i can arrange that
00:28:54little divorce for you hmm heaven what do you say about what that divorce
00:29:08i told you i shan't need your professional services thanks very much your poor benighted husband mate
00:29:14and why poor benighted because you deceive him i certainly do not oh didn't i hear you telephone
00:29:21that you were talking to a waiter i asked you me a waiter what did you say you were a solicitor
00:29:27solicitor lawyer barrister and being a barrister one does at least learn to judge human character
00:29:33what'll i like that from you in the witness box i'd know what to think about you all right
00:29:38let's see who's my fate with you then hmm
00:29:40you won't press the success i'm dying to hear it
00:29:47you're a perfect angel in the morning i'm perfectly insufferable
00:29:52that's a very quality of a woman the wife who must be adorable that's a very rash statement
00:29:59seeing we're complete strangers but anything but we know each other better than most people
00:30:04after they've been married for years but tied together by invisible bonds how can we part
00:30:09now forever how can we meet again as perfect strangers how can i say the things to you the
00:30:15perfect strangers say to each other now i must see you again where can we meet savoy embassy
00:30:22clarities lunch dinner supper today tomorrow tonight
00:30:29are you free tonight
00:30:33come on come on come on are you or aren't you
00:30:39answer me woman
00:30:48where are you
00:30:51my dear that was the creature that lay gloating in bed all night
00:31:07while we were rolling about on the billiard table
00:31:09please
00:31:10for all night
00:31:22we also
00:31:35Have you finished with the trays, madam?
00:31:54Yeah.
00:31:55Very good, sir.
00:32:00I suppose you'd describe this liquid as a concoction of coffee beans.
00:32:05I'll tell you what it is.
00:32:07Dishwater.
00:32:09Taste of the gutter.
00:32:14For 40 years, I have been asking you to give me medium-boiled eggs.
00:32:20Are these medium-boiled?
00:32:21They are not.
00:32:23They are in the same fluid and virginal state as when they left the hen.
00:32:27Dishwater.
00:32:34You've been messing this paper about.
00:32:36You've been trying to do the crossword puzzle.
00:32:39I don't read your paper.
00:32:40I have my own.
00:32:41And you know it.
00:32:43Altogether, I know too much about you.
00:32:45Then I'd better go altogether.
00:32:49That is exactly what I wanted to tell you.
00:33:00Good morning, Miss Leslie.
00:33:02Good morning.
00:33:03What's the matter, Jeffries?
00:33:04His lordship's just given me notice again.
00:33:06Oh.
00:33:07Oh, come along.
00:33:07He's just taking his cigar.
00:33:08Good morning, Grandpa.
00:33:13Leslie, where have you been?
00:33:15Hasn't Jeffries told you?
00:33:17I most certainly did tell you.
00:33:18Oh, thank you.
00:33:19You know perfectly well that there was a fog last night,
00:33:22and Miss Leslie spent the night at the Royal Parks Hotel.
00:33:24Her father and mother are in India, and I'm responsible for her.
00:33:27So am I.
00:33:28You?
00:33:29I'm her grandfather.
00:33:31Seems I know her better.
00:33:32Well, I'm appalled to think that my granddaughter should leave this house at nine in the evening
00:33:36and return at nine in the morning.
00:33:38You know perfectly well there are some girls you can't trust to go out and post a letter.
00:33:41But Miss Leslie, you can trust to go to the North Pole.
00:33:44Isn't it my duty to ask her for a full account of her goings?
00:33:47Full account?
00:33:49You're not a crying and meddlesome judge.
00:33:51You're an adoring Grandpa.
00:33:55Grandpa?
00:33:56Yes, darling?
00:33:57Do you know a man called Logan?
00:33:59Logan?
00:34:00Logan Everard.
00:34:01Barrister.
00:34:02Wait a second.
00:34:03Wait a second.
00:34:05Logan.
00:34:06Yeah, he'll be in my court today.
00:34:08Will he?
00:34:08Mm-hmm.
00:34:09Splendid.
00:34:10What's he like, Grandpa?
00:34:11Logan.
00:34:12Oh, he's a good cross-examiner.
00:34:15Oh, but a wretched fisherman.
00:34:18Why do you ask?
00:34:19I think he'll marry me.
00:34:21He propose?
00:34:22Oh, no.
00:34:24He doesn't know about it yet.
00:34:26Well, if he didn't know about it, how'd he?
00:34:29Leslie!
00:34:31What on earth are you wearing?
00:34:33Bad case, aren't they?
00:34:34They're his pajamas.
00:34:35Whose?
00:34:36Logan.
00:34:37How come, sir, you're wearing the pajamas of a man whose existence yesterday you knew nothing?
00:34:41I slept in his bed.
00:34:42What?
00:34:44Well, you see, he has two beds.
00:34:46So we transported number two into the sitting room, and I slept in number one.
00:34:49Gladly, this is the limit.
00:34:51Didn't I tell you Miss Leslie was all right?
00:34:54You don't understand the new generation.
00:34:55No, I don't think anybody else does either.
00:34:58Grandpa?
00:34:59Yes, dear?
00:35:00He doesn't know who I am.
00:35:01Who?
00:35:02Logan.
00:35:03He thought I was a woman, and a very wicked woman.
00:35:07Not much like a woman.
00:35:08Certainly not like a wicked woman.
00:35:10But I behaved like one.
00:35:13And he saw this ridiculous thing and thought I was married.
00:35:15He's a blockhead.
00:35:18He certainly is not.
00:35:20If a slip of a girl in her ring can deceive a man, he must be a dunce.
00:35:26Jeffries, did it never happen when you were a little younger that Grandpa was led up the garden path by a girl?
00:35:32Never.
00:35:33And you're a wise and great judge now.
00:35:37And so will Logan be one day, given a little time.
00:35:40And then no one will be able to fool him.
00:35:42How much time?
00:35:43Oh, 40 or 50 years.
00:35:48Oh, you take that notice I gave you seriously?
00:35:51No, milord.
00:35:53Good boy.
00:35:54Good boy.
00:35:54Good boy.
00:35:54Good boy.
00:35:56Good morning, Mr. Logan.
00:36:09Good morning, sir.
00:36:10Thank you, Tom.
00:36:11Welcome back to London.
00:36:13It's a sweet little town.
00:36:15Except for the weather, of course.
00:36:16What's the matter with it?
00:36:17London weather's the best in the world.
00:36:19Last night's fog, for example.
00:36:21Exactly.
00:36:22Where else would you find such a phenomenon?
00:36:23The finest city in the world dons an impenetrable veil of mystery.
00:36:28Life becomes an enthralling adventure.
00:36:30Fate guides your footsteps, and at any moment you might meet a miracle.
00:36:33I see.
00:36:34Then you did meet the miracles.
00:36:36Oh, yeah.
00:36:37Meet them alone.
00:36:37What a hell.
00:36:39But strictly speaking, you're always in the habit of meeting miracles, fog or no fog.
00:36:44And if I might say a word upon that subject, isn't it about time you stopped these encounters
00:36:49with miracle after miracle?
00:36:50He knows me, my dear fellow.
00:36:52Member of my club.
00:36:53Member of my club.
00:36:54Mia.
00:36:56Mia.
00:36:57Oh, Lord, Mia.
00:36:58Yes, yes.
00:36:58How do you do?
00:36:59How are you, my dear chap?
00:37:00How are you?
00:37:00Terribly well.
00:37:01Don't ask me.
00:37:02I'm terribly unwell.
00:37:03What's the trouble?
00:37:03The trouble?
00:37:05The trouble?
00:37:06My wife.
00:37:07What's the trouble of this lady Mia?
00:37:08The trouble?
00:37:09She's just spent the night with a man.
00:37:11Isn't that trouble enough here?
00:37:12Isn't that grounds for divorce?
00:37:14It's enough in any court in the world.
00:37:16But the correct procedure is to see your solicitation.
00:37:17Yes, yes, I know the correct procedure.
00:37:19But the fellow at the club told me that you can dissolve a marriage as quickly as an aspirin tablet.
00:37:22So before going to any solicitor, chap, I want your advice.
00:37:24Yes, well, I'm rather busy.
00:37:25So if you'll give me the essential facts and have you as possible words.
00:37:26I'll give you the essentials.
00:37:27You spent the night with...
00:37:28Yes, yes, I know.
00:37:30But do you love her?
00:37:32Huh?
00:37:32Well, I mean, say, yes.
00:37:37Why do you want to divorce her?
00:37:38Well, dash it all.
00:37:39One can't afford to make a fool out, can one?
00:37:41After all, there are limits.
00:37:42Yes, I understand you perfectly, Lord Mayor.
00:37:44You've given your wife your name, your fortune, and your devoted love.
00:37:48She in return has given you the anguish of humiliation.
00:37:50That's it.
00:37:51You have it exactly, my dear fellow.
00:37:54I've heard the same story too many times.
00:37:55The adoring husband and her cheating wife.
00:37:59What evidence have you?
00:38:00Last night she left the house before dinner and didn't return until nine o'clock this morning,
00:38:03suspicious in itself.
00:38:04Then there's the eyewitness testimony of the maid who went to the hotel and saw her emerging...
00:38:09What hotel was it?
00:38:10The Royal Parks.
00:38:13What did you say?
00:38:14The Royal Parks.
00:38:15I dare say you saw in the paper there was a costume ball given there last night,
00:38:17a charity affair.
00:38:18Aha, charity.
00:38:19Yes, yes, I heard something about that.
00:38:22Now, there's another very significant point.
00:38:23She was out all night and in fancy dress.
00:38:26Can you wonder if I'm being a bit upset?
00:38:28No, no, no, I don't wonder at all.
00:38:30But tell me, what sort of costume did she wear?
00:38:32I don't see the costumes any bearing on the matter.
00:38:34Oh, yes, it has.
00:38:35For instance, if she'd been dressed in the deep sea diver, one would be easier about it.
00:38:38Ah, but she wasn't.
00:38:39She was entrancingly beautiful.
00:38:40She was dressed as a French lady of the Second Empire.
00:38:42You know, the Empress Eugénie.
00:38:44Crinolines, that sort of thing.
00:38:46Yes, I know.
00:38:47It was a very heavy fog last night.
00:38:48Yes, I'm conscious of it.
00:38:49Now, I couldn't accompany my wife to the ball.
00:38:51Like a fool, I went to a banquet, you know, old regiment.
00:38:54Good chaps, bad food.
00:38:55Yes, yes, yes.
00:38:55Get on with it, please.
00:38:56What happened?
00:38:57She spent the night at the hotel, but not alone.
00:39:00How do you know?
00:39:01From Saunders.
00:39:02Who's Saunders?
00:39:02Her maid.
00:39:03How does she know?
00:39:04Because she went to the hotel with some clothes.
00:39:06Did your wife ask for the clothes?
00:39:07She did not.
00:39:08She just telephoned about nine o'clock to say that she was coming home presently, but I sent Saunders.
00:39:11And Saunders heard from the corridor of the hotel that she was talking in her room with a man.
00:39:16Did Saunders go in?
00:39:17Saunders did not.
00:39:18She's clever and loyal.
00:39:19Well, she listened.
00:39:20What did she hear?
00:39:21She saw.
00:39:22She saw my wife emerging from the room at about a quarter to nine, and she saw a man come out of the same room after her.
00:39:32And?
00:39:33And then what?
00:39:34Well, isn't that enough for you?
00:39:36Enough?
00:39:36You have the audacity to bring against your wife the most serious charge that can be brought against a woman?
00:39:42And you expect me to mobilize the law against a superb woman on the grounds of Saunders listening at her door, quarter to nine, fancy dress and a strange young man?
00:39:50What, you mean you refuse my case?
00:39:51That is no case.
00:39:52I refuse it indignantly.
00:39:54You'll only listen to Saunders.
00:39:55I don't wish to listen to Saunders.
00:39:56I've heard quite enough.
00:39:57From all that you've said, Lord Mayor, I've gained a very clear picture of your wife.
00:40:01A noble woman, fearless, devoted, pure in heart, not at all the type of woman that would do anything to dismerge the family discussion.
00:40:08Well, what about by humiliation?
00:40:09You took her for better or worse, didn't you?
00:40:10And she promised to love, honor, and obey.
00:40:12Yeah.
00:40:14Think back to that sacred ceremony.
00:40:15There she stood, an innocent girl, about to face the most perilous moment in her life.
00:40:20Look here, look, and you've got this slightly mixed.
00:40:22She was not an innocent girl.
00:40:23Before she married me, she was divorced from a fellow called Lauderdale, who trains racehorses.
00:40:30Oh.
00:40:31Ah, make her say, oh, again.
00:40:32Before she married Lauderdale, she was divorced from the Baron de Brissac, who makes an inferior grain of brandy.
00:40:38She's a French woman?
00:40:39An American.
00:40:40Her first husband was called Wild Man Kavanagh, a professional wrestler by trade.
00:40:44She got rid of him at Reno.
00:40:47Seems impossible.
00:40:50Foreign manager, isn't she so young.
00:40:52Who said she was so young?
00:40:54Uh, you did, didn't you?
00:40:55Ah, as a matter of fact, she looks young, entrancingly so.
00:40:58But she's a serpent, Logan.
00:40:59A viper who coils herself about the heart of innocent men and then strikes.
00:41:03Must be rid of her or face certain ruin.
00:41:06Yes, I'm beginning to see your point, Lauderdale.
00:41:08Good fellow.
00:41:09Then you'll take my case.
00:41:10Well, I shall think it over then.
00:41:13That's all I can say just now.
00:41:14I told you I was very busy.
00:41:16I'll call you later in the day.
00:41:19Very busy.
00:41:20Good day.
00:41:21Yes, well.
00:41:24Good day.
00:41:25A horse trainer.
00:41:30A brander dealer.
00:41:32And a wrestler.
00:41:37Well, what's the matter with you?
00:41:40Do you know who that was in here?
00:41:41Yes, Lord Myr.
00:41:42Everybody knows him.
00:41:44One of the best shots in the army.
00:41:45Oh, is he really?
00:41:47That costume belongs to his wife.
00:41:49What?
00:41:50So the miracle's identified.
00:41:52Lady Meir.
00:41:53Please don't whistle.
00:41:54You have got yourself into a nice mess now.
00:41:56How are you going to stand up in court and blaggard correspondents for doing exactly what you've been doing yourself?
00:42:01Look, young Slade.
00:42:02That's the dreadful part of it.
00:42:03I didn't do anything.
00:42:05Oh, and what would you say to a correspondent who told you that?
00:42:08But it's true, I tell you.
00:42:09I swear to you.
00:42:10Nothing happened.
00:42:11Nothing at all.
00:42:12All right, go ahead and swear, but, Mr. Logan, do you expect me to believe that nothing happened?
00:42:19Oh, I say.
00:42:22Mrs. Johnson, do you expect me to believe that nothing happened?
00:42:28Well, that is, you see, well, nothing of any consequence, if you get what I mean.
00:42:36Oh, yes, yes, I get what you mean.
00:42:39So I've no doubt this is Lordship.
00:42:40I'm afraid I should prefer an explanation.
00:42:43Any explanation, Mrs. Johnson?
00:42:45Can you explain to his Lordship what you mean?
00:42:51We have ample opportunities in this court for learning what women mean, or what they mean they mean, if in these days they mean anything at all.
00:43:00Silence in court.
00:43:02My Lord, there is one very simple explanation of this case.
00:43:05Mrs. Johnson is a woman.
00:43:07And it's scarce to remind you, Lordship, that woman has a religion of her own, the ancient creed of womanhood.
00:43:16It contains only one article of faith, but every woman sincerely and steadfastly believes in it.
00:43:22And that is that she is the unique and perfect achievement of the human species, a being especially evolved to be above criticism, beyond reproach and outside the law.
00:43:34Man, in his folly and kindness, has been bamboozled into accepting woman as a rational being, and has granted her emancipation on that assumption.
00:43:40What is his reward?
00:43:42Modern woman has disowned womanhood, but refuses man's obligations.
00:43:46She demands freedom, but won't accept responsibility.
00:43:50She insists upon time to develop her personality, and she spends it in cogitating on which part of her body to paint next.
00:43:56By independence, she means idleness.
00:44:02By equality, she means carrying on like Catherine the Great.
00:44:05Carry on like who, Mr. Logan?
00:44:08Catherine the Great, my Lord.
00:44:10Oh, carry on like Catherine the Great.
00:44:13Oh, thank you.
00:44:15By companionship with man, she means that he should wait upon her hand and foot.
00:44:19Modern woman has no loyalty, decency or justice.
00:44:22No endurance, reticence or self-control, no affection, fine feelings or mercy.
00:44:27In short, she is unprincipled, relentless and exacting.
00:44:29Idle, unproductive and tedious, unimaginative, humorless and vain, vindictive, undignified and weak.
00:44:35And as soon a man takes out his whip again, the better for sanity and progress.
00:44:37My Lord, that is the explanation of Mrs. Johnson, and that is the explanation of this case.
00:44:40You may stand down.
00:44:41I tell you some as you mustn't be afraid of Mr. Logan.
00:44:57He'll ask you some questions.
00:44:58You must reply to them truthfully.
00:45:00I know, but whatever Lady Mayor thinks...
00:45:02Whatever Lady Mayor thinks, no harm will come to you.
00:45:07Lord Mayor's here.
00:45:08He's got his solicitor with him, and the principal witness, Saunders, the maid.
00:45:11But I can't let her see me.
00:45:12She was at the hotel.
00:45:13Well, you're going to be caught sometime.
00:45:14It may as well be now.
00:45:15Oh, no, no, my gentleman.
00:45:16I can hear his voice.
00:45:16We'll go right here now.
00:45:18Ah, Logan, I thought I heard your voice.
00:45:19Now, this is Hallflower, my solicitor.
00:45:21You know each other, don't you?
00:45:22Good morning, Logan.
00:45:22And this is Saunders that I told you about.
00:45:24How do you do?
00:45:25Please sit there.
00:45:26Have you any further doubts about my case?
00:45:28Saunders will dispel.
00:45:30Saunders, you saw the man, didn't you?
00:45:32I did, my Lord.
00:45:33And you've never seen him before?
00:45:34Well, I'm not sure, my Lord.
00:45:37You're not sure?
00:45:38You can't have seen it very clearly.
00:45:39I didn't have my glasses on, sir.
00:45:41Ah, then you wouldn't be able to recognize him, would you?
00:45:43Oh, I didn't say that, sir.
00:45:44I didn't say I wouldn't recognize him.
00:45:46I said I didn't recognize him.
00:45:48She's very intelligent, old boy.
00:45:50Now, Saunders, just tell Mr. Logan what you saw.
00:45:53Describe the man.
00:45:54Oh, well, my Lord, I don't know that I could describe him.
00:45:57Ah, you may try.
00:45:59Well, um, well, I don't quite know what to say.
00:46:02He was just an ordinary, commonplace sort of man.
00:46:05Describe the man.
00:46:06Details, details, woman.
00:46:07No, no, no, don't be impatient.
00:46:08Give the poor girl a chance now, sir.
00:46:10Saunders, just you don't be afraid.
00:46:11Just tell Mr. Logan exactly.
00:46:13Was he tall or short?
00:46:15Oh, he was, uh, just about ordinary heights.
00:46:19Oh, was he dark, fair, or ginger?
00:46:22Well, he was what you might call medium.
00:46:24Was he young, old?
00:46:26Well, he was what you might call, um, medium.
00:46:28Medium, medium, that's right, sir.
00:46:30Yes, is he clean shaven?
00:46:32Well, uh...
00:46:33Had he got a beard?
00:46:36Oh, no, my Lord, no.
00:46:37No, I'm quite positive about that.
00:46:38He hadn't got a beard.
00:46:39He might have had a small moustache, though.
00:46:41Ah, he had a moustache.
00:46:43No, no, he didn't.
00:46:45Well, at any event, you're quite sure that you've never seen him before or since.
00:46:48Oh, quite, quite.
00:46:49What is it, slave?
00:46:50The, uh, the lady is here, sir.
00:46:53What, what, what lady?
00:46:54The lady in the case.
00:46:55The, uh, the lady in the case.
00:46:59Ah, uh, uh, excuse me.
00:47:06What have you...
00:47:07What have you come here for?
00:47:10To return these, your pajamas.
00:47:16Anything else?
00:47:17Why, what's happened to you?
00:47:20You're not nearly as sweet as you were at breakfast.
00:47:22I'll tell you what's happened.
00:47:24Your husband's in there.
00:47:27Who?
00:47:29Oh, I don't blame you at all for being so confused.
00:47:31After all, the husbands you have to look back on.
00:47:33But this isn't the horse trainer, or the brandy dealer, or the wrestler.
00:47:36This happens to be your latest, Lord Mere.
00:47:39Lord Mere?
00:47:39Yes, that's the one.
00:47:41And, uh, who told you he was my husband?
00:47:44He did.
00:47:44He told me everything.
00:47:46And he'll be just as unpleasantly surprised as I was to learn how very much he does know.
00:47:49He knows all about the Royal Parks Hotel, and the costume.
00:47:53But, uh, what does he want of you?
00:47:55Divorce, divorce, divorce.
00:47:58Oh.
00:47:59Lord Mere wants a divorce.
00:48:01That's very interesting.
00:48:02Yes, isn't it?
00:48:03And you're going to help him get it, I hope.
00:48:05Help him to divorce you when I'm the correspondent?
00:48:07Oh, yes, I can understand you being so callous with all your experience.
00:48:12But let me tell you, it'll mean ruin to me.
00:48:14Ruin!
00:48:16Ah!
00:48:16I can just imagine what Lord Steele will say about it.
00:48:20Lord Steele?
00:48:21Yes, all the judges I have to face, he's the nastiest.
00:48:24And rejoice in my disgrace.
00:48:28But, um, if Lord Mere gets what he wants, then I'll be free.
00:48:33You and I could, so to speak, get together.
00:48:35You'd like that, wouldn't you?
00:48:39At the expense of my career?
00:48:41Tch, you flatter yourself.
00:48:43Oh.
00:48:44I'm sorry.
00:48:45I thought you were beginning to be rather fond of me.
00:48:49I know, um, I know I couldn't help liken you, even though you were rather unpleasant at first.
00:48:55But I suppose there's nothing left for me but to take my medicine.
00:49:04And go.
00:49:05I can certainly understand how you've trapped all those men.
00:49:13All what men?
00:49:14Lord Steele.
00:49:16And the Baron de Brissac.
00:49:18And Wild Man, somebody or other.
00:49:20Oh.
00:49:21Oh, those.
00:49:23Yes, those.
00:49:25And then, poor Lord Mere.
00:49:28Now me.
00:49:29You?
00:49:30Yes.
00:49:30I shouldn't have Mrs.
00:49:37I love you.
00:49:42Even now, now that I know the horrible truth, I'm wild about you.
00:49:48I want to take you in my arms.
00:49:50Then why don't you?
00:49:53I don't know.
00:50:04What am I doing standing here kissing you?
00:50:06I'm doing it very well, if I may say so.
00:50:08Well, your husband is in there, and his solicitor, and Saunders, who saw us both.
00:50:12Wait here.
00:50:18Now think, Saunders.
00:50:19Think, you know, just think.
00:50:20Don't be a fool, Saunders.
00:50:21Oh, I am thinking so.
00:50:23I very am.
00:50:24I can't go out and see.
00:50:25Now, now, now, now, try and think of something.
00:50:27Now.
00:50:29Now, where were we?
00:50:31Oh, yes, the man from the Royal Park Hotel.
00:50:33You say you wouldn't recognize this man's face at all?
00:50:35No, sir, no.
00:50:36But I think I know his walk, sir.
00:50:40Yes, but you've never seen him before or since?
00:50:44No, sir, no.
00:50:44But I've known all the other gentlemen that we had since we got our first divorce in Reno.
00:50:48Saunders has been the faithful maid of my wife ever since her first marriage, haven't you, Saunders?
00:50:51Yes, my lord.
00:50:52Five years.
00:50:53Five years?
00:50:54You've established a world's record, Saunders.
00:50:56Now, then, after the divorce in Reno came the marriage with the Baron de Brissac.
00:50:59No, sir, no.
00:51:00After Mr. Kavanagh came Mr. Miller.
00:51:02Mr. Miller?
00:51:03Yeah, unofficial, sir.
00:51:04Unofficial?
00:51:06Oh, innocent friendship.
00:51:07Well, uh...
00:51:09Yes, yes, well, I don't think all these details in this...
00:51:11I'm very sorry, Lord, ma'am, but if you want me to handle this case, I must hear every detail.
00:51:15Yes, you only do yourself harm if you hide anything from your doctor or your lawyer.
00:51:19That's right.
00:51:20Right.
00:51:20Yes.
00:51:21Now, then, after Mr. Miller.
00:51:23Uh, Mr. Van Hooten.
00:51:25Unofficial.
00:51:25Unofficial.
00:51:27After Mr. Van Hooten.
00:51:29Baron de Brissac.
00:51:30How long till the divorce?
00:51:31Uh, 14 months, sir.
00:51:3314 months, and after the Baron de Brissac?
00:51:35Unofficially, sir, Mr. Miller.
00:51:37Mr. Miller came after Mr. Kavanagh.
00:51:39No, sir, no.
00:51:40That was Mr. Miller the first, sir.
00:51:41This is Mr. Miller the second, sir.
00:51:43Oh.
00:51:44Is there a Mr. Miller the third?
00:51:46No, sir, no.
00:51:46Only Senor Mendoza from the Argentine, and then Mr. Lord of Dale, and then his lordship, sir.
00:51:52No, sir.
00:51:53No, sir.
00:51:54No, sir.
00:51:55No, sir.
00:51:56No, sir.
00:51:57Will you undertake my case?
00:51:59Yes, I will.
00:52:00My friend Holpry will prepare it for me, and I will get your divorce for you.
00:52:04Good lad.
00:52:05Now, come along.
00:52:07Is you, you're sure you're not worried about us not knowing the man at the Royal Parks Hotel?
00:52:11I know the man at the Royal Parks Hotel.
00:52:13What?
00:52:14That is, I know the kind of fellow he must have been.
00:52:17After Mr. Miller the first, and Mr. Miller the second, and Senor Mendoza from the Argentine.
00:52:22He looks like being a fourth fool.
00:52:23Good afternoon.
00:52:36Where is she?
00:52:37Who, the miracle?
00:52:38She's gone.
00:52:39Oh, I say, I had no idea you permeated your pajamas with such a delightful perfume.
00:52:44Get out.
00:52:47Anything else?
00:52:48No.
00:52:49I don't believe you enough to ask me one thing.
00:52:53What, sir?
00:52:53Don't ask me to believe that nothing happened.
00:53:09What, sir?
00:53:10Come on.
00:53:22I've decided to take on the case.
00:53:51Yes.
00:53:52You decided to be a scandal?
00:53:53Yes.
00:53:54Ruined?
00:53:55Yes.
00:53:56And the reason for the sudden courage is because someone is a short-sighted and you think you're
00:53:59safe?
00:54:00One's never safe in a case like this.
00:54:01And why take it on?
00:54:02Because I hope that you will marry me when you are free.
00:54:06William?
00:54:07William?
00:54:20William?
00:54:22Why didn't you answer?
00:54:41Surely that thought was somewhere in the back of your mind when you came to see me in my office.
00:54:44It might have been.
00:54:46But then I didn't like you in your office.
00:54:47I much preferred you in your bedroom.
00:54:50Our bedroom?
00:54:50My bedroom.
00:54:53Surely that's the proper place to judge your future husband.
00:54:56Aren't you frightened any more of the hectic years of my past?
00:55:00I want to taunt you.
00:55:01Let's dance.
00:55:10You look so incredibly young.
00:55:12As a matter of fact, I don't feel old at all.
00:55:16Sometimes when you smile at me, I feel that you're as guileless and innocent as a child.
00:55:21That's why I smile at you.
00:55:24It's incredible that you should have been married four times in five years.
00:55:28Why did you divorce Kavanagh?
00:55:31Oh, Kavanagh.
00:55:33Oh, he became a boar.
00:55:34The Baron de Brissac?
00:55:35He became a boar, too.
00:55:36And, and, uh, Lauderdale?
00:55:40Oh, he was the most awful boar of the last.
00:55:42I'd much rather be married to a group than to a boar.
00:55:45I hope I've not become a boar yet.
00:55:46Oh, no.
00:55:47I find you very interesting.
00:55:49Very, very amusing.
00:56:55I adore you.
00:56:58Do you love me?
00:57:01I like you.
00:57:04Is that all?
00:57:06I'm very fond of you.
00:57:09That's not enough.
00:57:12I might be interested in you.
00:57:14That's still not enough.
00:57:15Please be frank with me.
00:57:20I thought that the greatest virtue of the modern woman was her absolute frankness.
00:57:24But haven't I been frank with you?
00:57:26Haven't I told you all about Brisek and Kavanaugh and Lord Adair?
00:57:32Oh, what do you want?
00:57:34What do you want?
00:57:42Now what is the matter?
00:57:59Miller.
00:58:01Miller?
00:58:02What about Miller?
00:58:03Yes, what about Miller?
00:58:07Oh, Miller.
00:58:09An episode.
00:58:10And Miller the second?
00:58:12Another episode, I suppose.
00:58:14Of course.
00:58:16Four marriages in five years and two episodes.
00:58:18You don't seem to appreciate my frankness.
00:58:22I think I'll go home.
00:58:23Oh, no, please.
00:58:24Really, I do appreciate your frankness.
00:58:26And I care so much that I can understand how it happened.
00:58:30Can you really?
00:58:31Yes, of course.
00:58:32It's perfectly simple.
00:58:33You were poor before your first marriage.
00:58:35He offered you everything that made life worth living.
00:58:37How were you to know that the one essential thing was missing?
00:58:40How should you?
00:58:41Of course, the marriage fails.
00:58:42But a woman like you, a woman with ideals, is just like a man.
00:58:45She has to go on searching until she finds the right man.
00:58:48The real man.
00:58:49The one man in the world for her.
00:58:51You?
00:58:52I hope so.
00:58:54I'm sure of it.
00:58:56Aren't you?
00:58:58One can never be sure of anything but the past like mine.
00:59:01Oh, but my darling, when a woman is in love, she has no powers.
00:59:04She's reborn.
00:59:05She's an innocent girl again.
00:59:07Don't you see, my darling, it's perfectly simple.
00:59:09That if only you could...
00:59:10Go.
00:59:12What is it?
00:59:15Your husband.
00:59:16Don't look.
00:59:17Where?
00:59:18Over there in the corner.
00:59:24Coward.
00:59:25I'm not.
00:59:25I just don't want a public brawl, that's all.
00:59:27Very well.
00:59:28Let's go.
00:59:28It's not that way.
00:59:31The usual magnum for two.
00:59:33The usual magnum for one.
00:59:40Taxi.
00:59:43I'll take you home.
00:59:44No, no, that wouldn't do, thank you.
00:59:45I'll go home alone.
00:59:46Good night.
00:59:47Grosvenor Square, please.
00:59:48Yes, but what number Grosvenor Square?
00:59:50I'm not telling you.
00:59:51But how shall I...
00:59:52When shall I see you?
00:59:54Thursday afternoon, your office tea.
01:00:01Hello, Grandpa.
01:00:12Sorry, I'm late.
01:00:14Not at all.
01:00:16Proposals take some time.
01:00:17How did you know?
01:00:18Little girls having a special glitter in their eyes after a proposal, even today.
01:00:23You're a wise old man.
01:00:27Did you tell that jackass the truth about yourself?
01:00:30No, and he's not a jackass.
01:00:31Do you still think you're a cheap woman?
01:00:33He's a jackass.
01:00:34He thinks I'm the wickedest woman in the whole world.
01:00:38He thinks I've had four husbands and several...
01:00:40Did you tell him that you had four husbands and several...
01:00:42No.
01:00:44He told me.
01:00:45You know Lady Muir?
01:00:46Mm-hmm.
01:00:46Well, she was at the ball at the Royal Park Hotel, and she had a Winterhalter costume, too.
01:00:50And some adventurer.
01:00:52Do?
01:00:53And Lord Muir's divorcing her, and Logan thinks I'm she.
01:00:57Thinks that you were Lady Muir?
01:00:59Yes, but he's very sympathetic and very understanding.
01:01:02He sees very clearly that my unfortunate past was one long search for the right man.
01:01:09Himself?
01:01:10Yes.
01:01:10And he also says that a woman is chased and reborn again when she's in love.
01:01:15Mm-hmm.
01:01:16I don't like the sound of that.
01:01:18He may get a shock when he discovers the truth.
01:01:22But aren't you a little cynical, Grandpa?
01:01:25I don't think so.
01:01:26And every day I learn things about which even the cleverest grandchildren know nothing at all.
01:01:33But you don't mean that he might prefer a bad woman to, um...
01:01:37Very often.
01:01:39And so do you.
01:01:40Me?
01:01:41Certainly.
01:01:42What made you play the woman with the past?
01:01:45Because you felt you could wear your imaginary adventures like an alluring costume, didn't you?
01:01:51Yes, and apparently with great success.
01:01:55The danger is that when the costume falls off, the young men may look at you and wonder what on earth he saw in such an innocent little slip of a girl.
01:02:06Grandad, what shall I do?
01:02:08I love the brute so much.
01:02:10All for our telephone to ask whether you really agree that the mere case breach will be prepared on the basis of the correspondent is unknown.
01:02:23I agree.
01:02:24But you know perfectly well that he's not unknown.
01:02:27It'll be disastrous for you if it comes out in court who the correspondent really is.
01:02:30I don't care.
01:02:36I'll get Lady Mere her divorce if I have to close out this shop.
01:02:40There's your wife before he meets his house.
01:02:43Ah, there you are.
01:02:45How are you, old boy?
01:02:46I hope you're terribly well.
01:02:48Yes, I am terribly well.
01:02:49Yes, so am I.
01:02:50Terribly well?
01:02:51Yes.
01:02:52Terribly well.
01:02:53Why, what's happened?
01:02:54I've met her.
01:02:56Boom!
01:02:57My wife.
01:02:59She's superb.
01:03:01And Saunders is an idiot.
01:03:03And I'm a fool.
01:03:03The man in her room at the Royal Park Hotel was the manager of the hotel.
01:03:07You were the only one that was right.
01:03:08You gave it me at first.
01:03:09I owe my happiness entirely to you.
01:03:11She owes her happiness entirely to you.
01:03:13It's a new honeymoon for us.
01:03:16Oh, boy.
01:03:17By the way, I'm sorry to have troubled you in vain.
01:03:20Oh?
01:03:21Yes, yes, but I know how it is.
01:03:22When I said to my dear wife, I said,
01:03:23that fellow Logan's the most awfully decent chap in the world.
01:03:27At first he refused our case.
01:03:28He refused a fat case sooner than spoil our happiness.
01:03:31Goodbye.
01:03:32And what did she say?
01:03:33She said you were the most awfully decent fellow in the world.
01:03:36And so you are.
01:03:43Will you give her a message?
01:03:44Yes.
01:03:45And you tell her from me that I think she's the most awfully clever woman in the world.
01:03:48And then...
01:04:08Oh, my God.
01:04:38You can't open the door with your umbrella.
01:05:04Where's your key?
01:05:05Why'd you have to come and open the door?
01:05:06Where's the butcher?
01:05:07He's gone.
01:05:08And Saunders?
01:05:09She's gone, too.
01:05:10And Coke?
01:05:11I've fired them all.
01:05:12I won't have paid enemies in my own house.
01:05:21You can't open the door with your own house.
01:05:22You can't open the door.
01:05:23You can't open the door.
01:05:24I'll open the door.
01:05:25I'll open the door.
01:05:26I'll open the door.
01:05:27Oh, my God.
01:05:28It was the manager.
01:05:30What?
01:05:31Where?
01:05:32When?
01:05:33In your room at the Royal Park Hotel.
01:05:34It was the hotel manager.
01:05:35It was not.
01:05:36You say it was not?
01:05:37Then who was it?
01:05:38Oh, it was John.
01:05:39George, Ingleby, Thomas.
01:05:40A President, a Prime Minister.
01:05:42and a baritone.
01:05:44They're just trying to confuse me.
01:05:46What do you want, a divorce?
01:05:47All right.
01:05:48You can have it.
01:05:49Now get out of here.
01:05:50Get out of here.
01:05:51Go and see your lawyer.
01:05:52See them.
01:05:52Go and see him again.
01:05:53No, darling.
01:05:53No, darling me.
01:05:57No, my son.
01:06:12Give me one.
01:06:20Really?
01:06:23Good night, Mia.
01:06:24Yeah.
01:06:27Your wife's the most borsalic clever woman in the world.
01:06:42What do you mean, my wife, as the most borsalic clever woman in the world?
01:06:52Ah.
01:06:57Good.
01:06:57How much is that?
01:06:58Eight and ninepence, my lord.
01:07:00What, eight and ninepence for a whiskey and soda?
01:07:01That's five you've had, sir.
01:07:02Four doubles already in this one, sir.
01:07:04Good.
01:07:05There you are.
01:07:06Thank you, my lord.
01:07:10What's your opinion of women, see, sirs?
01:07:11Well, my lord, they have their uses, as we know.
01:07:14But as for consorting with them, as you might say, I've only dabbled in it.
01:07:17Well, you leave it at that.
01:07:18Women are a menace.
01:07:19A menace, Peters.
01:07:21What about Eden?
01:07:22What, the foreign secretary, sir?
01:07:23Oh, you fool.
01:07:24The Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve.
01:07:26You know the story?
01:07:27Yes, I've heard of it, sir.
01:07:28It was a bit before my time.
01:07:29Yes, but it's still going on.
01:07:31The woman leads the man up the garden path and leaves him in the lurch.
01:07:35She was sneaking in the grass at the Royal Parks Hotel.
01:07:38Can't say I ever heard that bit, sir.
01:07:40Well, it's true.
01:07:41They can't do that sort of thing to me.
01:07:44I'm the last man to hang about where I'm not wanted.
01:07:47You know that, Peters.
01:07:48Yes, you're not.
01:07:48Yes, well, good night, Peters.
01:07:50Good night, sir.
01:07:51Cast these cigars.
01:07:56Take it.
01:07:57Let's do it.
01:08:14Let's do it.
01:08:45Hello?
01:08:52Yes, this is Logan.
01:08:53Must see you, old boy.
01:08:55Must see you, old boy.
01:08:58Matter of life and death.
01:09:00What?
01:09:01What?
01:09:01But it's three o'clock.
01:09:03I know, but I...
01:09:05Coming right around to see you.
01:09:06Matter of life and death.
01:09:15Why did you say my wife was the most wonderfully clever woman in the world?
01:09:30Now, look here, it's three o'clock.
01:09:32Why did you say my wife was the most wonderfully clever woman in the world?
01:09:36Good.
01:09:36And sometimes one just says things for something to say.
01:09:38Oh.
01:09:40Lawyer chaps make your masses of money because you don't say things just for something to say.
01:09:45Why?
01:09:46Why did you say my wife was the most wonderfully clever woman in the world?
01:09:51Sit down.
01:09:51I thought your wife was very clever to make it up with you after the Royal Parts Hotel.
01:10:02Mm.
01:10:03She's very clever.
01:10:05You're very clever.
01:10:06But I'm very clever, too.
01:10:09I wish I weren't.
01:10:10Like what?
01:10:11Clever, subtle, clear-sighted.
01:10:13I should be a happier man.
01:10:16What's the trouble?
01:10:17She doesn't love me anymore.
01:10:19What do you mean?
01:10:19I thought you said that you'd made it up with her.
01:10:21Yes, I've got a sixth sense.
01:10:24Subtlety.
01:10:25Knowledge of women.
01:10:27She loves the man from the Royal Parts Hotel.
01:10:32What?
01:10:37Just a minute.
01:10:43I've got something very important to tell you.
01:10:53I am the man from the Royal Parts Hotel.
01:10:57You, but you can't be.
01:10:58You're a barrister.
01:11:00Your wife spent the night in one of my rooms.
01:11:02But don't dare to suspect her.
01:11:05Nothing happened.
01:11:06And why are you telling me this?
01:11:08Because I love her.
01:11:10And if you're going to divorce her,
01:11:12then I'm going to marry her.
01:11:13But she's going to marry you.
01:11:15I hope so.
01:11:16But she's in love with you.
01:11:18I think so.
01:11:25Won't Lemmon jump sky high?
01:11:28Who?
01:11:29Lemmon.
01:11:29Who's Lemmon?
01:11:30Bounder, rotter.
01:11:31Filthy with money.
01:11:32Well, what's he got to do with her?
01:11:33He's in love with her.
01:11:34But is she in love with him?
01:11:35Certainly not.
01:11:36She's in love with you.
01:11:37How can she be in love with Lemmon?
01:11:38She's not that sort of woman.
01:11:41Sit down.
01:11:42Halbrink.
01:11:50If I've got to divorce her,
01:11:52I prefer you to Lemmon.
01:11:54You're a gentleman.
01:11:55Lemmon is not.
01:11:57Lemmon is not.
01:11:58Lemmon is not.
01:12:00I've told her, and I'll tell her.
01:12:01Don't you worry.
01:12:03I'll tell her.
01:12:05Lowlands a gentleman.
01:12:07Lemmon is not.
01:12:09Who are you?
01:12:28Who are you?
01:12:28I belong to this bed.
01:12:31I belong to this bed.
01:12:44Get out.
01:12:45Darling, I'm wise and generous.
01:12:48You're drunk.
01:12:49I'm not, and you'll see it, because I've come to tell you this.
01:12:52Logan's a gentleman.
01:12:54Lemmon is not.
01:12:56Who is Logan?
01:12:57Loyalty, sir.
01:12:58If you take him, it'll break my heart.
01:13:02I wish you had.
01:13:04Why should I take him?
01:13:05You're in love with him.
01:13:07I'm in love with him.
01:13:08Who told you that?
01:13:09Logan himself.
01:13:10He's a gentleman.
01:13:13It'll break my heart.
01:13:14I wish you had.
01:13:16Oh, I see.
01:13:21So you're willing to divorce me, so somebody by the name of Logan can marry me.
01:13:25Is that it?
01:13:26It'll break my heart, but I wish you happiness.
01:13:28Will you please get out of here?
01:13:30Go to your club and go to bed.
01:13:33I wish you happiness.
01:13:53Mr. Logan.
01:13:54Uh-huh.
01:14:03Molyneux.
01:14:04Uh-huh.
01:14:04Pecker.
01:14:05Uh-huh.
01:14:08Who do you wish to see?
01:14:11Mr. Logan, please.
01:14:12Well, what names, please?
01:14:14Lady Mare.
01:14:16Did you say Lady Mare?
01:14:18Are you Lady Mare?
01:14:20Well, I am, but who are you?
01:14:22Oh.
01:14:23Oh, Lady Mare, come with me, please.
01:14:30Well, what is the matter?
01:14:31You come away from here and I'll tell you all about it.
01:14:33Well, who are you?
01:14:34Where have you went from here?
01:14:35The hairdressers.
01:14:36Who are they?
01:14:36Chevalet.
01:14:37Come on.
01:14:38Come on.
01:14:38Come on.
01:14:38Come on.
01:14:38Come on.
01:14:38Come on.
01:14:38Come on.
01:14:42Where is she?
01:14:44Well, they were here, sir.
01:14:46What do you mean, they?
01:14:46Where is she?
01:14:47She was two, sir.
01:14:51Now, you opened the door and she came in.
01:14:54They came in, sir.
01:14:57What did you ask?
01:14:59What name, madam?
01:15:01And what did she say?
01:15:02They said Lady Mare.
01:15:04She.
01:15:04They.
01:15:06One lady said Lady Mare.
01:15:07Two, sir.
01:15:09There were two ladies here.
01:15:10Two, sir.
01:15:10And two ladies said Lady Mare.
01:15:12Two, sir.
01:15:13Where are they, then?
01:15:16Well, they just disappeared, sir.
01:15:18You better disappear, too.
01:15:19Go back to your father and tell him I've no use for a congenital idiot.
01:15:24Could have sworn there were two.
01:15:28So I went off to the divorce court to see Mr. Logan do his stuff.
01:15:31They tell me he's very clever.
01:15:33Clever.
01:15:34If you call clever bullying and browbeating somebody who can't hit back.
01:15:37And he knows nothing at all about women.
01:15:39Do any of them?
01:15:40There was some wretched creature in the box called Mrs. Johnson or something.
01:15:43And Logan was acting for her husband.
01:15:45And what do you think he said about women?
01:15:46Could have been anything.
01:15:48He said we were merciless, stupid, brainless and hopeless.
01:15:51But you know, he's not far wrong.
01:15:53Anything else?
01:15:54Yes.
01:15:54He said we'd be spent half our time wondering which part of our bodies to paint next.
01:15:57Oh, well, my dear, now that is a lie.
01:16:09What do you think of it?
01:16:10I think it's swell.
01:16:11I wonder if Mr. Logan would approve.
01:16:13If you ask me, I think that guy needs a lesson.
01:16:16He certainly does.
01:16:16And I'm going to give it to him.
01:16:17He's in a blue funk about that night in the Royal Parks Hotel.
01:16:21He thinks he's going to be sighted as Lady Mayor's correspondent.
01:16:25Say, that's very funny.
01:16:26I can hardly wait till we get home with our little worry boy about this.
01:16:29You know, he'll swallow his gamp teeth and everything.
01:16:31It's all.
01:16:33Good night.
01:16:34Good night.
01:16:34Well, Slade, you're sure nobody's telephone?
01:16:37I'm quite sure no lady telephone.
01:16:39Good night.
01:16:42Good night.
01:16:42Good night, sir.
01:17:08Hello?
01:17:09Lady Mayor wants to speak to Mr. Logan, please.
01:17:11Hold on!
01:17:12Mr. Logan, sir.
01:17:14Lady Mayor.
01:17:15Where?
01:17:16On the telephone.
01:17:18Now, ask her, sir, if she was too.
01:17:20Good night.
01:17:21Hello.
01:17:26Hello?
01:17:27Oh, is that you?
01:17:31Oh.
01:17:33Why didn't you come?
01:17:34Because I don't like your office.
01:17:37Where can I see you?
01:17:39Where?
01:17:39Well, let me see.
01:17:40Why don't you come to Mayor Hall for the weekend?
01:17:45Mayor Hall in Hampshire, you know it.
01:17:47Oh, yes, I know.
01:17:49But do you think that would be right?
01:17:51Brightened again.
01:17:52Goodbye.
01:17:53No!
01:17:53Wait, wait, wait!
01:17:55But if you don't want to see me.
01:17:57Well, of course I want to see you.
01:17:58But has Lord Mayor not told you?
01:18:02Lord Mayor has told me everything.
01:18:04And do you think that his place would be the right place?
01:18:07The only place.
01:18:09But of course, if you don't want to come.
01:18:10But of course I want to see you.
01:18:12When?
01:18:13Saturday.
01:18:14Right.
01:18:16Saturday evening.
01:18:17All right.
01:18:18Good night.
01:18:18Good night.
01:18:18Good night.
01:18:39Well, Miss Leslie, feeling fit to fence your fences?
01:19:06Yes, I think so, if they're not too big.
01:19:08Nothing's too big for that, Mayor.
01:19:09If you want a pilot, keep your eye on my wife.
01:19:11She's good, is she?
01:19:12Miss Hens, I ever saw, a heart like a lion.
01:19:15Who's the man she's talking to?
01:19:18By...
01:19:20Cat, it's that Cat Limit.
01:19:22Why Cat?
01:19:23Horrible fella.
01:19:24Shoots foxes all the summer, rides over hounds half the winter.
01:19:28And what does he do with his spare time?
01:19:30Makes up to other fella's wives, but if he thinks he's got a chance with Claire, he's barking up the wrong tree.
01:19:36I'll meet you at the Barclay at three on Thursday.
01:19:39By the way, what time are you expecting your friend Lubin?
01:19:41Oh, I shall think around tea time.
01:19:43He's driving down.
01:19:44Ah, huh?
01:19:45What's the hell?
01:19:46Right?
01:19:47Come on.
01:19:48Come on.
01:19:49Come on.
01:19:50Come on.
01:19:51Come on.
01:19:52Come on.
01:19:53Come on.
01:19:54Come on.
01:19:55Come on.
01:19:56Come on.
01:19:57Come on.
01:19:58Come on.
01:19:59Come on.
01:20:00Tell us, her and your bag.
01:20:02Come on.
01:20:03Come on.
01:20:04Come on!
01:20:05Come on!
01:20:06Come on!
01:20:07Come on!
01:20:08I had this time again.
01:20:09Come on!
01:20:10Come on!
01:20:11Come on!
01:20:12Come on!
01:20:13Come on!
01:20:14Hello!
01:20:15Hello!
01:20:16I didn't expect you so early.
01:20:17I was coming to see you.
01:20:18Hello, Lubin!
01:20:19Glad to see you!
01:20:20Come on, my dear!
01:20:21see you i say you two haven't made it up again have you i don't know what you mean by made it up
01:20:32but he's been very sweet to me oh well that's up a bit settle for well i'm not coming but you must
01:20:36you've accepted i can't help it in the fellow's house it's all wrong very well then if you don't
01:20:41want to see me no i i do but look here are you going to marry me are you not i'll tell you tonight
01:20:51well i wish oh mr logan would come down the suspense is killing me me too i bet he feels
01:21:06an awful ass when he finds out who's which what don't make it worse by laughing at him please sit
01:21:11here and be quiet will you and claire oh you sit um you sit there will you please and grandpa um
01:21:21oh grandpa you're fine where you are and oh and claire when he comes in blue please say um
01:21:26you know miss leslie's team i know and i'll stand uh here no i better go stand here
01:21:37shh be quiet mr logan
01:21:46mr logan it's nice of you to come down at such short notice
01:21:50you know lord steel yes of course and uh of course you know warren yes and this is miss steel
01:21:58miss miss miss miss leslie steel
01:22:10no i don't know miss steel
01:22:30and i don't want to know miss steel i think that miss steel is a very unpleasant dishonest young woman
01:22:36i say oh boy don't lose your sins of humor it's only a bit of fun well you go on having your bit
01:22:40of fun you have your bit of fun with limit and you have your bit of fun with the hotel manager
01:22:45miss steel can have her bit of fun with the next poor fool that falls in love with her
01:22:49in fact you're a damn funny lot couldn't i well well what do you think of that by jove what
01:22:55huh oh grandpa did you hear what he said yes darling good wasn't it
01:23:25i think he's right you're not going to let him get away with it are you no i'm not
01:23:39up to now he's been after me now i'm going after him hello boy
01:23:43he left no address none didn't he say when he was coming back yes never what about his work chucked
01:23:54it and he had the case of a lifetime coming on next week what's that the strange ways divorce
01:23:59four correspondents been the making of him but isn't there anything to be done not unless you stop
01:24:05the train what train the boat train at victoria what time eleven o'clock here hey wood
01:24:13what's the point for all the busy things you said said you know you didn't mean them did you
01:24:43did you well why don't you answer aren't you ashamed of yourself go on see you're sorry
01:24:55i've chosen the sweetest house
01:25:21pretty sure of me aren't you well you were so desperately in love with me do i have any say
01:25:29in the matter yes you can ask me to marry you if you like well will you i might
01:25:41why we'll be married in paris once and we'll honeymoon on the rivera for six weeks
01:25:47no have you forgotten the strange ways case chance of a lifetime be the making of you four
01:25:51correspondents we'll wire the office right away that we take the case we'll wire the office right
01:25:56away that we're on our honeymoon oh no oh yes oh no oh no my lord there is one very simple
01:26:02explanation of this case my client mrs strange ways is a woman that unique and perfect achievement of the
01:26:10human species especially evolved for the comfort and solace of man a tender delicate organism put
01:26:16into this rough world to make life a little brighter and a little happier by her beauty
01:26:22and by her tenderness and i say it advisedly by her purity my lord i admit that the allegation that
01:26:28you was found locked in the bathroom with two of the correspondents points to a certain lack of
01:26:31discretion on her part but against that my lord we have her positive assurance that nothing happened
01:26:35my lord if we refuse to accept this statement i submit that we strike a blow at the very foundation
01:26:42of the most sublime the most idyllic and the most delightful institution in the whole fabric of our
01:26:47civilization the state of marriage
01:26:54in my view my lord mrs strange ways is guilty on one count and upon one count alone
01:27:00she is guilty of being a woman my lord that is the explanation of mrs logan mrs strange ways and that
01:27:06is the explanation of this case you may stand down
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