- 2 days ago
Twitter Space 3 July 2025
In this episode, I examine the interplay between philosophy and dating culture, challenging misleading statistics about relationship dynamics. I discuss the impact of dating apps on unrealistic expectations and emphasize the importance of settling for realistic goals rather than perfection. Through interactions with callers, I explore the psychological effects of modern dating and advocate for virtues like honesty and commitment. I also highlight how upbringing shapes romantic choices and encourage listeners to focus on personal growth. Ultimately, I call for accountability in relationships and invite continued dialogue on cultivating happiness in love and life.
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In this episode, I examine the interplay between philosophy and dating culture, challenging misleading statistics about relationship dynamics. I discuss the impact of dating apps on unrealistic expectations and emphasize the importance of settling for realistic goals rather than perfection. Through interactions with callers, I explore the psychological effects of modern dating and advocate for virtues like honesty and commitment. I also highlight how upbringing shapes romantic choices and encourage listeners to focus on personal growth. Ultimately, I call for accountability in relationships and invite continued dialogue on cultivating happiness in love and life.
FOLLOW ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux
GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK!
https://peacefulparenting.com/
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!
You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025
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LearningTranscript
00:00All right, hope you're doing well, everybody.
00:03It is DeFan Molyneux from Freedom Main, just trying a little new recording setup and happy
00:07to chat with you all about whatever is on your mind, as always.
00:10The topic is philosophy, philosophy being the infinite atomic theory of everything,
00:17all-encompassing discipline of truth, reason, evidence, and the humane way.
00:24So, good morning, good morning, good morning.
00:26And I don't know what's being picked up in terms of audio.
00:31I guess we'll find out.
00:32There's no settings.
00:33There's no settings to say, ooh, use this audio or use that audio.
00:35So, hopefully, it's using the good mic, and we shall find out, of course, as time goes along.
00:40As always, I'm thrilled to hear from you, my friends, and it is your show.
00:46It is your topic.
00:47It is whatever is on your mind.
00:49And I just wanted to point out that there is very bad data floating around, my friends.
00:59Some very bad data.
01:01So, people are saying 90% of the women are going for the top 10% of men.
01:04Yet, according to research that I've looked up, 70% of teenagers, males, report having sexual activity
01:14by the end of their teens.
01:16That's 70%.
01:18That's not 10%.
01:19Don't take the online thing too seriously.
01:21Don't take online data too seriously.
01:24It's mostly nonsense with a few bouts of useful stuff here and there, but mostly nonsense.
01:30For women in particular, dating apps are like a wish list.
01:35And it's important to remember, of course, nobody gets everything they want in the dating scenario.
01:40Nobody.
01:41Nobody gets everything they want.
01:43Nobody gets everything they want in life.
01:44I mean, the king gets to order people around, but then he ends up isolated and lonely.
01:51If you go to negotiate for a job, you want a whole bunch of money.
01:55Other people want to pay you less money.
01:58Even in the dating market, if you sort of look at the way we evolved, I mean, tens tend to get with tens.
02:04Does that mean the tens are happy?
02:05Nope.
02:05Because if you're some super Gaston built like a Viper truck kind of guy, you just want to sleep around.
02:13But then you've got to be monogamous because that's the only way you can really get sex and sort of our evolution, marriage and so on.
02:18Right?
02:18The woman who's a 10 always thinks she can do better.
02:21The 10 wants the 10, maybe thinks he can get a little bit above because 10 is 10%, right?
02:27So instead of a 91, he thinks he can get a 97.
02:29But if he goes and aims too high, then the 10 gets snagged up by a 9 and then the 10 has to go for a 9.
02:36So there's always this tension in the dating market.
02:39You want the maximum you can get, but not so much that you can't get anything.
02:43This is life.
02:44I want the maximum philosophy that I can do, but not so much that I get burned at the stake.
02:51Nobody gets everything they want.
02:53And sort of the sooner that you grind that into your bones, I think the better off that you'll be.
02:59So you're not going to get everything you want.
03:02You know, when I, my wife and I love each other very much.
03:04We married 23 years and when she met, I was unemployed.
03:08When we met, I was unemployed.
03:10I was taking time off to work on writing novels.
03:12I wrote The God of Atheists.
03:13I wrote almost over the period of a year and a half.
03:16And almost as a historical novel required crazy amounts of research.
03:22This is sort of back before the internet was really useful for that kind of stuff.
03:25So would she rather have had me employed when she met me?
03:30Yeah, of course.
03:31But we don't, we don't, we don't get everything that we want in life.
03:36And refusing to settle is a fool's game.
03:40I tell everyone, settle.
03:42Do you live in the mansion of your dreams?
03:44I don't know if the mansion of your dreams is some Bill Gates, $40 million Uber mansion of the gods.
03:49I don't know.
03:50But then it's a lot to maintain.
03:52It's a lot of work.
03:53Property taxes are insane.
03:54Like, I don't know.
03:55What is, what is, what is perfect?
03:57What is perfect?
03:58Do I ever do a perfect show?
03:59No, I have to settle for the most inspiration that I can have at the moment.
04:03Most songs that people write don't go anywhere.
04:05You know, there's like five greatest songs in the history of music.
04:09You have to settle for what it is that you can produce.
04:12Nobody gets everything they want.
04:13Elon Musk complains about this.
04:14He says, you know, people look at my money and they think they want my life.
04:17They probably don't.
04:18Because all I do is work.
04:19Sleep on the factory floor.
04:20All I do is work.
04:21And make baby mamas.
04:22That's his two, his three, three or four big manufacturing things.
04:26The Boring Company, I guess, SpaceX and Starlink and baby mamas.
04:32That's his conveyor belt.
04:34So, just recognize, when women are on dating apps, it's just a wish list.
04:4270% of young men are having sex.
04:45And I think that's intercourse.
04:47So, if you count non-intercourse, like oral or whatever it is, then that's a whole different matter.
04:51It's probably closer to 80, 85%, whatever it is, right?
04:55It's not a drought out there.
04:57Don't listen to the people who tell you it's hopeless.
04:59Oh, but 97% of women will only have sex with them.
05:02They're willing to share, man.
05:03They just want the chance.
05:04Don't listen to the outliers.
05:06There's a great bulge.
05:08Get it?
05:08There's a great bulge in the middle.
05:10But to the girdle, to the gods, inherit below is all the fiends.
05:14So, don't listen to the outliers.
05:17Don't listen to the extremes.
05:20Yes, there are some uber chads who sleep around.
05:23Yes, there are some guys who are too awkward and funny looking to get anyone or anything.
05:29And those are the outliers.
05:31Just aim for that bulge in the middle and don't be talked out of love, family, procreation, happiness, or any of that stuff.
05:41You know, there are a lot of people out there in this world who have failed and want to vindictively spread their failure to others, right?
05:51We recognize this as an old saying, single women keep women single.
05:54Well, so we recognize this in female nature.
05:58It's in male nature as well.
05:59I failed.
06:00Therefore, I'm going to conduct elaborate justifications as to why my failure wasn't my fault.
06:06That's the big draw of ideology, man.
06:09The big draw of ideology, right?
06:11I failed.
06:12I now need to create massive justifications as to why my failure wasn't my fault, man.
06:19It wasn't me.
06:20It's the system.
06:21It's the race.
06:21It's the class.
06:22It's the capitalists.
06:24It's the ownership of the means of production.
06:26It's women.
06:27It's the media.
06:28It's schools.
06:29These are all factors.
06:31But you'd be really surprised at how little stops you when you give up making excuses.
06:40And listen, I sympathize.
06:41There are some things for which there are reasonable excuses.
06:44I did not stay in the art world because most of the people who publish books are relentless socialists slash communists slash wokesters.
06:55They did their long march through the institutions.
06:57So if I say, well, gee, I'm not a big actor or a sort of famous published novelist, and part of that is because my novels are explicitly pro-individualism, pro-free will, pro-free choice, anti-collectivism, anti-socialist, very strictly and very strongly anti-socialist.
07:20And, you know, it ain't 1957 when you could squeeze out Atlas Shrugged after a massive battle, after a previously successful novel, The Fountainhead, and a minorly successful novel, We the Living.
07:33So we always want to stay away from those who tell you failure is inevitable, things aren't going to work.
07:42And then what they do is they'll say, well, once we achieve this impossible thing, then you can succeed.
07:49Once we get the government out of human relationships, then we can succeed.
07:53Once the marriage contract no longer involves a state, once blah, blah, once we do this, once we do that, once we get rid of the welfare state, then it's not going to happen.
08:02We have to play the cards we're dealt.
08:05I mean, you can leave the game, which is, of course, what a lot of people are doing, but it's not necessary.
08:09And people are saying, Steph, you're old, you're out of touch.
08:12I get that.
08:13I mean, I obviously was thinking about, and I've talked about this before, creating a dating profile and seeing what I could do, but I don't want to, obviously don't want to catfish anyone, right?
08:21But I know a lot of young people, friends, and there's not this law that says when you start pushing 60, you can't talk to anyone under 50.
08:30There's no law about that.
08:31I've got friends with kids in their teens, friends with kids in their 20s, and what is being portrayed online?
08:40You go to jail for asking a woman out.
08:42No, you don't.
08:44Can you find some bizarre outlier?
08:46Sure you can.
08:47Sure you can.
08:49People win the lottery, but it's not a good plan for your life.
08:53Can you find weird outliers?
08:55Sure.
08:55And prior to the internet, they would remain weird outliers that you'd never hear about, but because of the internet, it goes to be amplified, and our statistical brain hasn't caught up to the internet yet, right?
09:08So when we see this kind of stuff, oh, it's amplified, it's repeated.
09:11Oh, my God, it must be super common.
09:13But the number of times I've seen these stories that just, you know, a guy went to jail for asking a woman out, and you start to dig into it, and it's not the case.
09:22It's not the case.
09:23Yeah, women are jumpy.
09:26I mean, listen, guys, talk to women.
09:29Ask them about any potential stalker stories.
09:32It's not just Jodie Foster.
09:34It happens.
09:36So, yeah, women are a little nervous.
09:38Women are a little jumpy.
09:39Women still also want to date men.
09:40The majority of them want to get married, have kids.
09:44All right, enough of me, but enough of my yapping.
09:48Sage is a great name.
09:50It is an elder priest of wisdom.
09:54What's on your mind?
09:54You will need to unmute.
09:56I'm all ears.
09:57Hello.
09:57I'm not so much an elder, but I do like to speak words of wisdom when I can.
10:02Well, now's the time.
10:04I don't have too much.
10:05I'm more looking for wisdom from you.
10:07Around two days ago, me and my girlfriend split up over three years, and we've been living
10:16each other for those entire three years.
10:20Sorry, did you say you've been loving each other?
10:23Oh, living with each other.
10:24Living with each other.
10:25Sorry about that.
10:25Go ahead.
10:26Plenty of love within those three years, but two of us weren't making each other happy
10:31enough, so we split up, and I've been mostly focused on trying to adopt an egoist mindset
10:40after reading Objectivism when I was 18, 19.
10:45But I find that introspection hasn't been helping me, and I feel like I'm not finding
10:51the right questions to ask or the right things to do.
10:55And you would say that you and your girlfriend loved each other, right?
10:59Yeah, we had a pretty good relationship up until the end.
11:03So you loved each other?
11:04Yeah.
11:05Okay.
11:06So can we give her a name that's not her name?
11:10Sure, you can call her Naomi.
11:11Naomi.
11:12Okay, that's a nice name.
11:13All right, so what did you love about Naomi?
11:19She had an amazing humor.
11:21She was smart in her own different ways and not so smart in others.
11:27Very beautiful.
11:29She had a personality that I want to see throughout the end, really.
11:34It was someone I wanted to marry.
11:37Okay, so she was funny.
11:39She was smart and not smart.
11:41And what else?
11:45She was pretty.
11:48She was beautiful, right?
11:48Physically beautiful?
11:50I wouldn't say she's an intellectual, but she was smart in her own fields.
11:56Okay, so she was beautiful, funny, and...
11:59Well, nobody can be smart at everything.
12:01So she was beautiful, she was funny, and she was smart, right?
12:03Yeah.
12:04Okay.
12:06So, what about her moral virtues?
12:09I don't think she really thought about that herself.
12:13I tried to...
12:14I'm not asking what she thought about, because she's not here.
12:18Moral virtues.
12:19What moral virtues did you see in Naomi?
12:21Well, there were some red flags at the beginning.
12:26She never really wanted children.
12:28She was iffy on getting married, but around two years in, she was looking more forward to
12:35more virtues.
12:38I don't quite know.
12:39Because everything you're describing is kind of hedonistic.
12:44I'm not calling you a hedonist, but everything you did...
12:46Okay, she's pretty to look at.
12:48Okay, that's nice.
12:48There's nothing wrong with that.
12:49But it's kind of hedonistic.
12:51She made me laugh.
12:52Well, laughter is a pleasure, and that's kind of hedonistic.
12:55And again, it's not that making people laugh is bad.
12:57It's just not really a moral virtue.
12:59There's lots of completely screwed up comedians, right?
13:02Louis C.K., et cetera, et cetera.
13:04Lenny Bruce.
13:05So, that's not...
13:07You know, she's smart.
13:08Okay, I mean, I guess that's nice.
13:10If it's smart in her field, it doesn't really impact you.
13:12But all of these things that you're talking about are things that give pleasure to you.
13:16And again, there's nothing wrong with, of course, partners are supposed to give pleasure
13:19to each other.
13:21But it's all about hedonism.
13:22It doesn't sound like...
13:24It doesn't sound like you admired her morally.
13:27Now, do you want to have kids?
13:29In the future, yeah.
13:30Well, of course it's in the future.
13:32I'm not talking about right now.
13:35Copy your arm and copy-paste.
13:38Okay, so you want to have kids, and she didn't want to have kids.
13:42Yeah, I think she was more terrified of pregnancy rather than the actual children.
13:47Sorry, she was more terrified of what?
13:50Pregnancy.
13:51Okay, well, whatever.
13:53I mean, you wanted to have kids, and she didn't want to have kids.
13:56Sure, yeah.
13:57Don't agree with me like I'm telling you something.
14:00That's what I got from what you said.
14:02Just confirm.
14:02If I got something wrong, let me know.
14:04I mean, like, it's...
14:06We sort of agreed maybe in the future it would be a possibility to get surrogacy.
14:11Or adoption was on the question, but I wasn't interested in that.
14:16I don't really know...
14:17She didn't want to have children.
14:19Let's not complicate things, man.
14:21She didn't want to have kids.
14:22You want to have kids.
14:22Your own kids.
14:23Not surrogacy.
14:24Not adoption, right?
14:25Fair enough, yeah.
14:27Wait, is that true?
14:28Well, she never really outright said that, but I would assume that, like, that's the case.
14:33Like, I don't...
14:34I never thought she would...
14:35Sorry, but you had...
14:36Hang on.
14:36My God, man.
14:38What's all this fog?
14:39I don't understand.
14:40She had a conversation about having kids.
14:42She said she didn't want to get pregnant, but she might be open to surrogacy or adoption, right?
14:46Yeah, but there's never been, like, an area of full confidence in this.
14:50It's always been like, oh, I don't know about this, and I don't know about that.
14:53It's like, I can't really walk away with a certain answer.
14:56Okay.
14:56So, if you want to have kids, and she doesn't want to have kids, how old are you?
15:01I'm 22.
15:0222.
15:03So, she doesn't want to have kids, and she doesn't want to have kids, you want to have
15:06kids, then why be together?
15:10But that's the hedonism, right?
15:11She was fun.
15:12She was pretty.
15:12She made you laugh.
15:13I don't know if, I guess it could be viewed as hedonist.
15:18And I couldn't really, like, I was never fully in for any, like, sexual desire.
15:25I guess you could say emotional pleasure.
15:28So, you weren't in it.
15:29You're a young man, and you weren't in a relationship with a beautiful woman for anything to do with
15:34sexual desire?
15:35Not anything.
15:37Of course, it's a bonus.
15:38But by the time we met, I was a bundle of troubles.
15:41I didn't have much of a high libido.
15:44I was mostly looking for emotional fulfillment.
15:48What do you mean by a bundle of troubles?
15:49When I was 18 or 19, I had huge insomniatic problems, and the NHS had prescribed me a bucket
16:02load of antidepressants and sleeping pills, which nine of them really worked.
16:07So, I was in a very chaotic period for a long time.
16:12And that's when I tried to get into philosophy and try to sort my life out.
16:16And, well, she was really the first person that I got with when I got my shit together.
16:22Okay.
16:22Well, I'm sorry to hear about that.
16:24That's very tough.
16:24And I want to express my deep, deep sympathies for that.
16:28So, why do you think that Naomi got together with you if, when you first met her, you were
16:33a mess?
16:34I guess you could say I was being a bit deceptive.
16:38I wasn't really showing my emotion to much people.
16:41But, she was in a bit of a emotional trouble when I met her.
16:47I guess I was her superman.
16:50She, I think she recently got caught smoking dope, and her parents wanted to crucify her.
16:57So, I was just there to, like, help her out and give her a place to stay.
17:03Sorry.
17:03So, when you say recently, you mean back when you met?
17:07Oh, sorry.
17:08Yeah, yeah.
17:09Sorry.
17:09I'm getting the time dilation here.
17:11When I was in a minute.
17:12Okay.
17:13So, what you're saying is that her parents were kicking her out for smoking dope, and she
17:16needed a place to stay?
17:19Rather, she didn't want to go back home, and she wanted a place to stay.
17:22Huh.
17:23Okay.
17:24And what was it that caused the relationship to end?
17:27Well, I think it was a, over the past year, there was just less and less emotion or sex
17:36with each other.
17:37And, just a week ago, she spent a trip with all of her friends in Madeira, and she realized
17:45that she's much happier around her friends than she's at home with me.
17:50So, she decided to split things up.
17:52Again, I'm really sorry to hear that.
17:55That's, how is your heart, my friend?
17:57How is your soul?
17:59It's, you know, it's coping.
18:01It's a three-year relationship gone.
18:03I can, all I can really do is cope with it, but I know for the long term, it's going to
18:08be better for me.
18:09So, that tidbit is helping me out a lot.
18:13Okay.
18:14Yeah.
18:14So, I mean, I'm very sorry for this, because it's three years of, it's not wasted time
18:20exactly, but it's not what you wanted.
18:22I assume that you guys wanted to stay together.
18:24So, I mean, nobody really gets into a marriage hoping to get divorced, and nobody really gets
18:28into a relationship hoping to break up.
18:30So, but, and what I would suggest going forward, just a minor suggestion, but it can have major
18:35impacts, is really look for the moral virtues, honesty, integrity, courage, directness.
18:40And if you find people who are morally virtuous, and you're manifesting those virtues yourself,
18:47then you grow together like two trees that grow together, and then you can't be separated.
18:51You become one flesh, and we unite in virtue.
18:55And virtue is our emotional response to love, sorry, virtue, sorry, love is our emotional response
19:01to virtue, and it's against their will, if we're virtuous, right?
19:04So, if you want to have a relationship that sustains itself, and that you can trust the
19:10person is going to be there, they have integrity, they have commitment, well, that's the only
19:18chance for genuine, sustainable love is to grow together in virtue.
19:23So, the next time you're thinking of dating, you ask yourself, what virtues do I admire in
19:31this woman? What inspires me? And hopefully, of course, you will also have virtues that inspire
19:38her, and that is the best way to choose, I mean, what is really the basis of dating, it's
19:46the best way to choose a mother for your children. So, my sympathy, so I'm going to move on to
19:51the next caller, but I wish you the very best.
19:53Do you have any literary works I could read on my time off?
19:58Sure, freedomain.com slash books.
20:00A bit more specific to what case, if you have money.
20:05I've already read that.
20:06Yeah, freedomain.com slash books.
20:09The God of Atheists is a good one for relationships.
20:12Gotta be.
20:13And I would say, also, The Present, my novel, The Present, will also help with relationships.
20:18So, I wish you the very best, hope we can chat again, and thanks for the call.
20:21Thank you very much.
20:23All right, from a tale of drug use, we now move to the High Council.
20:28If you want to unmute, I'm all in.
20:30Stefan, how's it going?
20:33Listen, you know, a lot of this philosophy, like, trying to get men to get together with
20:42women is all good, and I'm all for it.
20:44I'm 26 years old.
20:46I've dated one girl in my life, and it didn't work out.
20:51But I wanted to ask you a question about, you know, sort of the war that's going on, you
20:58know, there's sort of a war going on, and it is for the soul.
21:02And bio-digital convergence, you know, is really a big part of it.
21:08And vaccinations, okay, I'm starting to get my nerves down a little bit.
21:15I get a little nervous when I'm talking to a bunch of people.
21:17Yeah, it's fine.
21:18And listen, I understand.
21:20I understand and I sympathize.
21:21One of the things that can be really helpful, I do this before I give speeches, just jot down,
21:26you know, you've got 10 minutes to wait.
21:28Just jot down your major points.
21:30And then you won't have to sort of free-ball it when you get the mic.
21:33Sorry, go ahead.
21:34My major point is that, you know, we have to address the underlying issue, which I think,
21:40you know, is like childhood vaccine schedules and stuff like that.
21:45Because I think a lot of the problems with people have trying to get into relationships
21:49today is like a certain level of distrust or, you know, some psychological damage.
21:55Obviously, autism is a big part of it.
21:57But I think, you know, what the medical system has done since 1989 has really damaged a lot
22:04of people in ways that, you know, they just don't understand how to recover from or like,
22:10you know, think, you know, to your point, feel hopeless about it.
22:13So I was just wondering if you are aware of that stuff.
22:16Do you know of an attorney named Todd Callender who has sued the Department of Defense for,
22:23you know, all the COVID stuff, obviously, my major point is we're in like a giant, we're
22:29in a war, basically.
22:31And there, you know, I just want your perspective on it, you know, because I know we try to get
22:38to...
22:38Okay, bro, bro.
22:39I mean, you got to ask me a question that, I mean, we've covered like five different topics,
22:43right?
22:44Right.
22:44So you're going to have to boil it down a little for my aging brain.
22:49Okay.
22:49Well, what do you say to the people who are autistic, who are damaged by vaccines, who
22:58can't, you know, it's hard for them to connect with people?
23:02I'm not sure what you mean by what would I say to them.
23:05I'm not sure what you mean.
23:06Can you be a bit more specific?
23:07What advice could you give to someone who's damaged?
23:10Again, that's, you actually went less specific, not more specific.
23:16You asked, what would I say to people who have autism?
23:19And I said, can you be more specific?
23:20And you said, well, what would you say to people who are damaged, which is just about
23:23everyone.
23:24So again, I'm going to need things to be a bit more precise and specific, because I want
23:28to add value, right?
23:30And if you go to a restaurant and you say, bring me something that a human being could potentially
23:34digest, when you're probably not going to get the meal you want, right?
23:37You got to be a bit more specific about what you want.
23:39Well, I guess, I don't know what I want.
23:43I want, I just want justice, man.
23:45I don't know.
23:46I just, I think, I think we're, I'm just angry.
23:50I'm angry.
23:51No, listen, I get, I get that.
23:52And I, I, I'm not going to try and talk you out of any of that.
23:56But if you say, hang on, hang on, hang on.
23:59If you say, my happiness depends on powerful evildoers being brought to justice, will you
24:08ever be happy?
24:10No.
24:11No, that's the way of the world.
24:13I mean, that's the way of the world.
24:16At least at the moment, right?
24:18We can hope that in some generations we will have a better world and there's things that
24:21we can do around love and having children and raising them well.
24:25That is going to definitely add to that, but look, ideas are a lot about, and I'm not saying
24:33this is good.
24:34I'm not saying this is right.
24:35I'm just saying it is.
24:37Would you ever buy a diet book from a fat guy with a fat guy on the cover, like a fat
24:42author?
24:44Obviously not.
24:45Right.
24:45So if you want people to listen to your ideas, then you have to have some level of success
24:55first, right?
24:56I mean, if I was talking like Tom Likas, right?
24:59If I was talking about relationships and I'd been divorced three times, would you listen
25:05to me?
25:06Well, I think, why not?
25:08Because you have experience.
25:09Well, I wouldn't listen to someone like that because all they would have is failure.
25:16Now, they might say to me, like, you know, the guy who's dying of lung cancer might say
25:20to you, don't smoke.
25:21And that doesn't mean that he's wrong for that, right?
25:24I mean, I tell people, you know, maybe looking to getting hitched up a little younger and I
25:29didn't do it till my thirties, but that's because I was missing this kind of wisdom.
25:32And so if you want people to listen to you, first of all, you have to have some level
25:39of success yourself.
25:40Like I go, there's this ridiculous back and forth on X where somebody today said to me
25:46about a tweet, you could have cut out the first three sentences.
25:50And I went and this guy has like, I don't know, 150 followers or whatever it was, 47 followers,
25:54right?
25:55Now, I'm not trying to shame the guy, but if you're going to tell me how to write tweets,
26:00then I'm going to expect that you have some level of success.
26:04Or at least say, listen, I know I only have this many followers, but here's what I think
26:08you could do to improve, at least address it.
26:10But I don't go to Leonardo DiCaprio and say, hey man, here's how to pick up young models,
26:16right?
26:17When Marlon Brando was alive, I wouldn't go and give him acting advice, even though I've
26:21had some acting training myself.
26:23There's a certain amount of, I don't go to grandmasters in chess and tell them how to play
26:27chess.
26:27I respect expertise.
26:31And if you're going to say to someone, you need to listen to my ideas, then you can't
26:36be miserable.
26:38Sorry, is there music playing in the background there?
26:41No, that's just a leaf blower.
26:45Oh, okay.
26:46So, okay, that's fine.
26:47So, listen, hang on, hang on, hang on.
26:51I'm not done.
26:51I'm not done.
26:52I just got interrupted by the leaf blower thing.
26:54Do you think you sound happy?
26:55No, I definitely have a level of anger in me, but I want, I want, I don't know, I guess
27:00I want people to fight the right fight, you know?
27:03And I think you got to look into Todd Callender.
27:06Everyone in here has to look into Todd Callender.
27:08Truth be told, Vax Joyce, we have to, we have to overturn this.
27:13We have to frigging overturn this system.
27:15You got to fight the right fight.
27:16Listen.
27:16Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
27:18I'm just trying to make a point.
27:19Hang on, hang on, hang on.
27:20What do you think the odds are?
27:23How old are you?
27:2526.
27:2626.
27:26All right.
27:27So, you kind of got to get dating and married in the next five to 10 years maximum, right?
27:33Right.
27:33If that's what you want, right?
27:34Okay.
27:35What do you think the odds are that the system is going to be overturned in the next five to
27:4110 years?
27:43Hmm.
27:44The odds?
27:45I don't know.
27:47Overturned by whom, exactly?
27:49No, no.
27:50You said we've got to overturn the system, right?
27:53Okay.
27:54So, I'm just asking you, right?
27:56This is my business mind, right?
27:57People say to me, I have a plan.
27:59Okay.
28:00Well, what are the odds of that plan succeeding, right?
28:02So, what do you, what would you place the odds at the system being overturned, whatever
28:07that means, in the next five to 10 years?
28:11100%.
28:12It's 100%.
28:13100%.
28:15Go on.
28:16Well, I mean, if you take a look at all the AI stuff, the digital currency, the social
28:25credit system stuff, I mean, is that not a system being overturned?
28:29Is that not, you know, what we previously had in place being overturned?
28:35I think, you know, I think that's, that's totally happening.
28:38You know, there's people talking, you know, there's fucking bankers talking about this
28:42stuff, you know, Larry.
28:43Okay.
28:43So, I'm just going to take you at face value that the system that you object to so much
28:48is going to 100% be overturned in the next five to 10 years because of AI and stuff like
28:52that, right?
28:53Yeah.
28:53So, then you don't need to do anything.
28:54You can just focus on finding a good woman, settling down, getting married, having some
28:59kids.
29:00That's 100%, right?
29:01I'm with you 100%, but this is about all of us.
29:05This is about humanity.
29:07Okay.
29:07No, don't, don't, don't give me this abstract nonsense, man.
29:09This is about all of us.
29:11Nobody even knows what that means.
29:13So, then if you 100% believe that the system is 100% going to be changed or overturned radically
29:20over the next sort of five to 10 years, 1% being if we actually, you know, get up off
29:27our ass and like start talking about these things and telling people and, you know, get
29:31to the bottom of, you know, get to the core of the rot.
29:33There was a, there was a rotting core that's going to kill us all.
29:37It's like the snake eating its own tail.
29:38Okay.
29:39Okay.
29:39You are, you are full of useless analogies.
29:42Get to the root of the rot.
29:43It's like, if you can't try it, you know, you're, you're like somebody in the business world
29:47and I've met people in the business world who are just like, you know, we've, we've
29:51got to capture, you know, 16% of the widget market in China.
29:54And it's like, sure.
29:55Okay.
29:56But how, what's your practical plan?
29:58How is it measurable?
29:59Because what you're doing is you're calling in and you're talking about things that you
30:04want to change.
30:04I'm calling in, I'm talking about what we need to do and where we need to go.
30:09No, you haven't said, no, you've, you've just, you've just got a wish.
30:11You've got a, no, you've got a wish list.
30:13You've got a wish list of abstract change with no particular details or a plan.
30:18Hey, some people are going to come out of this more informed.
30:21Okay.
30:21I think so.
30:22So my suggestion is if something has a 99% chance of happening without your input, then
30:29you should focus on getting married, having kids, because then you're going to have a
30:35very big effect on obviously a smaller number of people, but you're going to have a very
30:40big effect on the, let's say you have three kids, whatever, you're going to have a big
30:43effect on those kids.
30:45Those kids are going to grow up and have three kids, each of their own.
30:47And you start, you know, you're continuing the whole legacy dynasty thing.
30:51And given that it's 99% likely that you're going to, that the system's going to change
30:56on its own.
30:57Then why didn't you call me up and say, what's the best way I can find a good woman rather
31:01than windbagging on about all of this abstract stuff with no particular plan?
31:05Well, I guess my plan in getting in here was to just get people to start looking at other
31:11directions and, and, you know, at other sort of, you know, you have to, you have to fucking
31:16be informed, you know, you have to be informed about these things, man.
31:20I'm sorry.
31:21I just, I'm flustered, but you're flustered because you don't have a plan.
31:26You have a, I want to share some stuff and I'm angry at the world and listen, I'm not
31:32look, there's annoying stuff in the world.
31:34Absolutely.
31:35But do you think you're putting yourself forward as an inspiring leader or do you just sound
31:42kind of pissed off, frustrated, and annoyed?
31:45I definitely sound pissed off, frustrated, and annoyed.
31:48I need to sound more inspiring for sure.
31:51Well, I have a plan.
31:53I want to change the world and the way that we change it is through parenting.
31:56I have a plan and I've got the data.
31:57I've got the facts.
31:58I've got the research.
31:59I've interviewed the experts.
32:00I have a plan.
32:01I have a practical plan.
32:03You have an unactionable wish list.
32:06And I say this because I want you to be happy.
32:08And right now you're 26 years old and you're not married.
32:13You have no plan for kids.
32:15You're just talking about websites and vaccines and autism.
32:19You know, I sympathize and I understand, but I'm giving you something actionable, something
32:25that you can do.
32:26And I think your frustration is that you have a goal, which is changing the system, but you
32:32have no practical plan other than be annoyed and tell people about websites.
32:38You got me.
32:38I'm doing this because I care.
32:42I want you to be happy.
32:43I really do.
32:44I want you to be happy and you need to have an actionable plan.
32:49You are very welcome.
32:50And listen, I wish you the best.
32:51You're welcome back anytime and just make a plan to fall in love.
32:55And through falling in love, you'll get the kind of support and enthusiasm and happiness
32:59that you need to be a much more effective leader.
33:01But if you're a sort of pissed off voice in the wilderness, it's really tough to get people
33:04to listen.
33:05And there's this funny thing that's going on because I've been away from X for like half
33:09a decade.
33:10That's a funny thing going on where people think they don't actually have to have credibility
33:13in order to make arguments.
33:16It's like, well, you should judge me just by the merit of my arguments.
33:18And it's like, no, I don't.
33:21I don't.
33:22I, if you're holding, if you're holding the tennis racket the wrong way, I don't need
33:27to see you play.
33:28I'm not talking about you.
33:29I'm just talking about other people on X, right?
33:30So yeah, you, you have to build up credibility, but people would much rather talk about what
33:35they want or what other people should do rather than do the tough work of building up credibility
33:39themselves.
33:40All right.
33:42We are one L short of an ally.
33:44Ailey, I hear movement.
33:47Hi, can you hear me?
33:48Yes.
33:49Yes.
33:49Go ahead.
33:50Hi, Stefan.
33:51I just found you recently, which blows my mind because I'm, so I have to listen to all
33:56your stuff and I'm super excited that you're doing these lives because I have a
34:00really, well, important to me question to ask you.
34:04I have two daughters, 16 and 14 and a 24 year old son.
34:11And I grew up brainwashed by the liberal Democrat cult, basically, like a lot of people, maybe
34:18almost everyone.
34:20Oh yeah, I'm with you there.
34:22I was just saying, same.
34:23Go ahead.
34:24Yeah.
34:25So by the grace of God, I didn't have an abortion with my son who I had young.
34:30And so I'm able to use that as a reference point, teaching my children.
34:34And I've since become a Christian and that's been wonderful.
34:37But I guess my question is, you know, I want to raise my girls to prioritize family ahead
34:44of career.
34:45I know they need to get married, you know, in their early to mid twenties.
34:51You know, realistically, I, I'm trying to program them to, you know, that family is going
34:55to bring them the greatest source of joy and fulfillment.
34:58Now, since you have a daughter about the same age, I'm just wondering, you know, how do
35:04you balance wanting to tell them that message with also, you know, you want to somewhat
35:10encourage them in their talents and things, you know, if, if they want to have a job, of
35:15course, I say, you know, just make it something flexible.
35:18You can work around your family, but you don't completely want to squash that they can't go
35:22to college or anything.
35:23So how do you, how do you balance that out and how do you guide your own daughter with
35:29some of those ideas and, you know, ultimately wanting them to have, you know, a family and,
35:35and all that?
35:37Yeah, it's tough.
35:38I mean, I, obviously I don't want to be selfish because I'm an older dad, so I'd like to be,
35:42I'd like to have some good years as a granddad.
35:44And if she, you know, gets married at 30, then that's a little bit less likely to happen.
35:48So, but it's, of course, it's not about what I want in general.
35:51I think that the approach is, I mean, you can want to get married, but, and you, you
35:57know, you put yourself out there and you meet people and you talk to people as a man or
36:00a woman, but until you meet that right person, it's sort of out of your hands, right?
36:04Now, of course, when you start to meet that right person or you think you might've met
36:07that right person, then you've got to, you know, work to, to make it work and all of
36:10that.
36:11So I think, you know, being out there in the world, whether it's in the business sense or
36:15at college or whatever, it's totally fine, but you need to be looking for quality people.
36:19It's not just there for fun and hedonism and, and, uh, drinking and, and all of that.
36:24Not that my daughter wants to do any of that sort of stuff, but I'm just talking in more
36:26general terms, but to say that you have to be receptive to a virtuous man for your daughters
36:35and a virtuous woman for your son, you have to be receptive.
36:39You have to be virtuous yourself.
36:40The readiness is all you have to be ready because you never know when that perfect person is going
36:46to come into your life.
36:47For me, it just happened to be because a friend of mine was joining a volleyball league and
36:51I like volleyball and that's how I met my wife.
36:55And because, you know, she's not very tall, so I'm glad it wasn't basketball.
36:59So you, you have, but, but I, I'd already gone to therapy.
37:02I'd really worked on philosophy.
37:03I worked in my virtues and integrity.
37:06And so when she came into my life, I was ready.
37:10If she'd come into my life when I was younger, I don't think I would have been ready.
37:12I don't think I would have been as prepared.
37:14So the preparation is everything.
37:18You still have to live while you're waiting for the right person and not just waiting,
37:21but talking to people and trying to find the right person.
37:24You still have to have some kind of life.
37:27And, you know, maybe that's a bit of college.
37:29If you can find some place that's not super woke, maybe that's working or maybe that's
37:33trying your hand at something entrepreneurial or all of those things are great and fun and working
37:40on your virtues, working on your integrity, working in your honesty and directness is
37:45going to pay off dividends in business.
37:46It's going to pay off dividends.
37:47Well, probably not at a work school, but maybe at other schools.
37:50And certainly when you meet that person who could just be right for you, you really want
37:54to be ready with your virtues.
37:55So if you tell your kids to keep working on the virtues, keep being out there and meeting
38:01people, then they will be ready when that right person comes along.
38:06Now, you can't just sit them and say, well, you've got to be on hold.
38:09We're going to cryogenically freeze you until the right person comes along.
38:12They're not going to work out because they've got to have a life, right?
38:14So I know that's a little bit abstract, but all we can do is work on our virtues.
38:20Like I can't control how people respond to me.
38:23I can't control the autism schedule.
38:26Sorry, the vaccine schedule.
38:28I can't control whether people take boosters.
38:30All I can control is the honesty and directness that I have in my communication and hopefully have
38:36built up some credibility with a fairly decent life of good virtue.
38:41I can't control anything outside of that.
38:44So saying, well, you have to get married young.
38:46It's like, well, no, you have to work on your virtues and you have to be out there in
38:49the world so people can meet you.
38:50Outside of that, it's a little bit beyond your hands.
38:53So focus really on the things that you can do the most to control and be ready for the
38:57right circumstance.
38:58Like I was into computer programming for like 15 years.
39:02I started programming when I was like 11 years old and I was into computers for, I don't
39:07know, like, sorry, 13 or 14 years.
39:09And then an opportunity came along to co-found a software company and I just was ready then.
39:16And I wouldn't have been ready if I hadn't done all of that work ahead of time.
39:19And I, you know, went to theater school, learned how to public speak.
39:23I studied philosophy and the economics and history for 20 years before I picked up a
39:31microphone in my car and started yelling at invisible people while I was in traffic.
39:37So if you prepare your virtues, if you prepare your knowledge, if you prepare your integrity,
39:43you'll be ready for just about anything that happens.
39:45And that's the work that I suggest parents tell their children to focus on rather than
39:49giving them specific goals that require somebody else's participation.
39:54You know, you need to get married.
39:55Well, yeah, if you find the right person.
39:56But the best way to find the right person is to be ready for the right person and be
39:59out in the world.
39:59Does that make sense?
40:01Yeah, it sounds like what you're saying is that what I should focus on for them is just
40:07maybe modeling virtues that I want them to also have and encouraging them in their
40:14virtues so that no matter what happens in their life, because you're right, you can't really
40:20control what your kids do anyways.
40:22And that's a fool's errand.
40:25No, and they can't control when love might wander into their life.
40:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:30But they can't control whether they'll be ready for it with the right virtues and morals.
40:34Right.
40:35No, that makes really good sense.
40:37And yeah, like, that's super helpful, because I've been thinking about this a lot, a lot
40:43lately.
40:43And I would say it's even harder for my son, you know, he lives in California, and God help
40:51him with the dating out there.
40:54It's well, I mean, you might want to follow Mike Cernovich, because he talks about this from
40:59time to time, because he lives in California.
41:01California, and everyone says, Oh, how can you live in California?
41:03It's so leftist.
41:04And he's like, not all of it.
41:06No, not all of it.
41:08There's lots of pockets of more conservative and non left leaning people in California.
41:15So I mean, as you know, California is not one big giant blob of semi socialism.
41:18But there are lots of pockets where there are much more reasonable people.
41:21And I'm sure that your son can find some location where that's happening.
41:26Yeah, definitely.
41:27No.
41:28Yeah, thanks for your advice.
41:29That's wonderful.
41:30I'm definitely going to marinate on that.
41:31I appreciate it.
41:32And I love listening to your, your lives.
41:34So thanks again.
41:36Thanks.
41:36I really appreciate that.
41:37So excellent question.
41:39All right, let's see one more barcode going once, going twice.
41:43Are we going to have an ignominious end of dead air to the show?
41:48Wait, all right.
41:49No.
41:50Barcode, barcode.
41:51What else?
41:52Hey, or Ipso.
41:54I'll do a run, man.
41:55What are we doing?
41:56What's going on today?
41:57I just kind of jumped in.
41:58Do you have a question or a comment?
42:01A criticism?
42:02I'm glad you're here.
42:04You know, I saw a lot of the long form videos on YouTube before they tried to sharpen everybody's
42:08brain into a fucking focus coma with the shorts, you know, like 15 seconds, five seconds,
42:13you know, before I just handle everybody's brains.
42:17You know what I mean?
42:17Right, right.
42:18So anyways, it was just, it was, this is weird.
42:21You know, I'm in X and scrolling around in a brain drift dopamine land.
42:25And then I was able to stop here for a minute.
42:27I actually sat here for a minute, you know, sit and scroll forever.
42:31Well, I appreciate that.
42:32And welcome to the conversation.
42:33I, you know, absorb, absorb.
42:35And I'm happy to hear your comments as you slurp up more tasty syllables of potential wisdom.
42:41We'll try to comprehend what I can.
42:42You know what I mean?
42:43It's a, it's like a word salad gets thrown at you digitally through somebody else's kaleidoscope.
42:48And, you know, you're, you end up shredding the lettuce.
42:50I don't know if that makes any sense.
42:52You know, it's, that's, that's where NPC and somebody thinking their own thoughts comes
42:55from is trying to figure it out.
42:57All right.
42:58Well, I appreciate that.
42:59I'm going to move to another caller.
43:00Thank you for your follow.
43:02And thank you for your interesting philosophy.
43:04Okay.
43:05Could be a, could be a troll.
43:06Could be a troll.
43:07I see.
43:08Nah.
43:09Hang on.
43:09We got Stephanie Molly meme.
43:13It's on the line.
43:14Oh, I'm sorry.
43:15Did I get skipped?
43:16Oh, if so facto.
43:17Yeah.
43:17I called in you a couple of minutes ago.
43:18No, that was if so facto speaking.
43:20I was barcode.
43:21I was just waiting my turn.
43:22Oh, barcode.
43:23Sorry about that.
43:24Yeah.
43:24Okay.
43:24Did you not hear when I was?
43:26No, I did.
43:26He just started speaking.
43:27So I waited for him to finish.
43:29Sorry about that.
43:29All right.
43:30I'm all ears, man.
43:30What's on your mind?
43:31So I have a conundrum.
43:34I'm listening to all this talk about dating and marriage and definitely marry early is generally
43:39a good idea.
43:40I made the mistake of, you know, not living as morally as I should have in my twenties.
43:46I'm now early thirties, approaching mid thirties.
43:50I spent about probably four years with one woman and I caught her cheating, like emotionally.
43:57So we broke up.
43:58Then I dated another woman for two years and she, we just had incompatible worldviews.
44:04You know, she was a Protestant, I'm Catholic and I was trying to return to that kind of
44:08faith and she, we just had incompatibility because she came out full-blown, full-blown
44:15feminist, didn't want to, you know, get married, have kids, live the traditional lifestyle.
44:21So, you know.
44:22Sorry, that happened over the course of your relationship.
44:24Yeah.
44:25Yeah.
44:25Like when we first met, you know, we seemed to have the same goals in mind and then sort
44:30of.
44:30So you seemed to, or you did?
44:32We did like, we had these conversations early on and then COVID happened and something, it
44:38was just political incompatibility and suddenly she started seeing men as the enemy and then
44:43we just kind of split and diverged from there.
44:46Because of COVID, she started seeing men as the enemy.
44:48I think, I mean, part of it, it was, it's just like the social media.
44:52It seemed like, you know, we, we went in different circles.
44:55It, it sort of came on quite rapidly, like over six to 12 months period.
45:01You could just see like her feed.
45:03If you would, if I would watch TikTok with her, a lot of it was just anti-man and like
45:08pro-women.
45:09And, you know, I have to be very careful to curate my own feeds such that I don't get
45:14sucked into these MGTOW stuff and all the negativity and the constant battle between the
45:20sexes.
45:21But she just kind of like.
45:23Well, it's the provoked.
45:24It's the provoked battle between the sexes, but sorry, go on.
45:27Yeah.
45:27So, I mean, the, the present state I'm at now is I'm, I've been seeing this girl for
45:31on and off for three years.
45:34She's non-political, which makes it easier.
45:38But, you know, we've had serious relationship troubles.
45:42We stopped talking for a couple months.
45:44Then we got back together.
45:46I'm at an age now in my early mid thirties where it's, it's almost like a sunk cost fallacy.
45:52Do I go out there and try again for something that's, that's going to probably be more stable?
45:57Why do you, why do you have, what are the relationship troubles at the top one or two?
46:01I, I don't know.
46:03I don't know how to describe it.
46:04I mean, I guess, I mean, why did you stop talking for a couple of months?
46:10Yeah.
46:10All right.
46:11So the top two problems are my family and friends despise her and think she's terrible for me.
46:16That's number one.
46:18And number two is why?
46:20Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
46:21Why?
46:22Because that's a big one, right?
46:23So why, why do your family and friends think she's terrible for her?
46:26She ruined a wedding among my cousins and a family reunion in England.
46:31And then she also ruined another wedding.
46:34It's separate instance where I was the best man.
46:37And how did she ruin the wedding?
46:39So this brings me to like her second, the second biggest problem is I think she genuinely has bipolar disorder.
46:45And maybe, okay, so why, why are you with her?
46:49Because in the moments where she's not ruining weddings or freaking out from social anxiety, she's quite lovely.
46:56She's smart.
46:58She's funny.
46:59We get along.
47:00She's beautiful.
47:01Okay.
47:01You know, and especially in like, she's hot.
47:03She's hot.
47:04Yes.
47:04And also, you know, in private, like, okay, bro, generally nice.
47:08Okay.
47:08You're not a kid.
47:09I'm going to be hot.
47:10All right.
47:10I'm going to be.
47:11Yeah.
47:11No, I'm not a kid.
47:12What is dating for marriage?
47:17What is marriage for children?
47:21Will she be a great mother?
47:24Maybe.
47:25Oh, come on, man.
47:27You're telling me everything I need to know about your mother.
47:29But objectively, will she be a great mother?
47:33She did say, if I marry her, when we get divorced, I can keep the kids in my house.
47:40Okay.
47:40Are you trolling me at this point?
47:42No.
47:43Genuinely, she said that.
47:44You can't be this unserious and almost middle-aged.
47:47Oh.
47:48All right.
47:49Come on.
47:49You think this is some kind of joke?
47:52No, but it's also.
47:53Why are you doing some comedy routine about exposing your children to a crazy mother?
47:59I mean, I don't know.
48:00I'm laughing to keep from crying here, right?
48:02It's like.
48:03Okay.
48:03Well, let's be honest then.
48:05I mean, I'm too old to start over is the truth of it.
48:08And it's like, do I go without children or, or like poach some young woman just to, you
48:14know, have kids and then have.
48:16Listen, you are not too old to have children.
48:19I had a kid.
48:20I was 40, 41, something like that.
48:22Right.
48:24You're not, you're not too old to have children, but you got to get a little more fucking serious
48:29about what you're doing.
48:31It's true.
48:31I mean, you are too old to be chasing the top right of the hot, crazy matrix.
48:39Are you completely just thinking with your, are you dicknapped?
48:43Is that, is that it?
48:44She's hot.
48:44She's great in bed.
48:45She's exciting.
48:46She's thrilling.
48:47She's pretty.
48:48I mean, is, is it, is it that, is it just the sin of lust?
48:50I mean, maybe, I mean, try dating like a more trad con girl between the two year relationship
48:58and this present one.
48:59And I found, you know, I found it just kind of boring.
49:04I've just, I don't know.
49:05I mean, maybe I'm a, I'm a masochist at this point, but I just.
49:09So you found a stable woman boring.
49:13Yeah.
49:14Unfortunately.
49:14Well, well, then what happens is you've kind of burned out your neurons managing crazy
49:21women.
49:22And you're like, you have to be, you know, like there are people who, who get addicted
49:25to, I guess, extreme tastes.
49:28Like they can only like massive amounts of sugar or fat or salt or like they just can't
49:34taste normal food.
49:35That's actually good for them because they've jammed all of these hyperkinetic receptors
49:40onto their taste buds for years.
49:42Right.
49:42That makes a lot of sense.
49:44So what would you, you are, you are in the final stages of hedonism, which is you've
49:48got to cool your jets and start to find pleasure in stuff.
49:53That's not an extreme because you've made dating about your dick, not about what's going
50:00to be best for your future children.
50:02And listen, I sympathize.
50:04I'm not, I'm not scowling at you from some high place of superiority.
50:08I sympathize.
50:09We've all been there as men.
50:10We've all been there as men.
50:11I mean, if we're any kind of dater, right?
50:14It's the siren, right?
50:15The lure, right?
50:16The, the, the, the crazy intense woman who's a rollercoaster and, and it is exciting and
50:23it's stimulating and there's highs and lows and there's lots of drama and, and so on.
50:27Right.
50:27It's not a documentary on snails.
50:30It's doing cocaine and jumping from a plane.
50:32Right.
50:33So I get all of that.
50:35And like most people, and I've certainly had my experiences with hedonism.
50:39So again, I'm not lecturing from any superior place here.
50:43I'm just passing along some pretty hard one wisdom is there's no pleasure in the long run
50:49like stability.
50:51It makes a lot of sense because you're sort of the equivalent of the binge purge, right?
50:56Like there's no, there's nothing really that's better in the long run than a, a decent meal
51:01and a predictable weight as opposed to I'm up 40 pounds.
51:06I'm down 50 pounds.
51:07I'm up 20 pounds.
51:08That's bad for your system and, and all of that.
51:11And so, uh, you know, if you want to do a call and show, we can talk about this route, the roots
51:16of this.
51:17I have to go shortly, but, uh, the roots of this is that, I mean, come on, your parents
51:22had to have some kind of unstable relationship.
51:24You had to have some kind of wiring hooked up pretty early about the extremes, right?
51:30Yeah.
51:30That's, that's accurate.
51:31That's right.
51:32So you're used to that, right?
51:35Yeah.
51:35So you're used to that and you have, you copy paste what your dad does, right?
51:41Did your dad marry an unstable woman?
51:43I'd say so.
51:44Yeah.
51:45Right.
51:45So we are programmed to do what our fathers do for the simple reason that our fathers
51:50are sexually successful and we, our genes program us to do what is sexually successful
51:55because if we don't do what's sexually successful, those genes don't make it, right?
51:59Right.
51:59So you are programmed to copy paste your dad.
52:02And if your dad had a taste for the unstable strange, then that's going to be your template.
52:08That makes a lot of sense.
52:09And you have to, you have to challenge that template.
52:12I mean, did it, did it work out in terms of long-term happiness for daddy?
52:17Yeah.
52:17Yeah.
52:18She, I mean, my mom growing up was a bit bipolar and seems to have cooled off and, you know,
52:23they're best friends now.
52:24They married something like 40 something years at this point.
52:29Okay.
52:29How are their kids doing?
52:31I'm successful.
52:32My two brothers are not well.
52:35What do you mean you're successful?
52:36You're dating a chick who ruins weddings.
52:39Uh, you know, I own property, career wise.
52:41No, no, I'm talking about love.
52:44Yeah.
52:44That's where I've not had a lot of life.
52:46The career stuff is IQ.
52:47The love stuff is wisdom.
52:49So are any of his children successful in love?
52:55Yeah.
52:56Well, I mean, my younger brother's married, so he, he managed.
52:59He's not working.
53:00Is he happy?
53:01Is he happily married?
53:02I, I don't know if he's happy.
53:05Shouldn't you?
53:06I mean, you're siblings.
53:07Don't you talk?
53:08No, we don't speak anymore.
53:09He's, he, well, I'm not going to get into it another time.
53:13So, so his kids are not particularly happy in that at least two of his children don't
53:18even speak to each other.
53:19You're not married and dating a crazy girl.
53:22What about your other brother?
53:23He's a lead.
53:24I'm also not speaking to him.
53:26So.
53:27Okay.
53:27So if your father's happy, it's only because he's completely ignoring the unhappiness of
53:33his children.
53:34Let's see.
53:35So that's kind of selfish, right?
53:37I mean, good parents generally can't be happier than their least happy children or their least
53:43happy child.
53:43I mean, it's unfortunate because it's not like through any fault of theirs that my brother's
53:48turned out this way.
53:49Like my younger brother is trans now.
53:51Oh man.
53:51No, come on.
53:52Come on.
53:53Well.
53:54Come on.
53:55No.
53:55I mean this generally.
53:56No, you're, no, you're, yeah.
53:57I'm not even letting that one go by a bit.
53:59You're talking to the wrong guy.
54:01You're talking to the wrong guy.
54:02Sorry.
54:02If, if you're going to say that parents have nothing to do with how their children turn
54:05out.
54:06Oh yeah.
54:07No, no, no.
54:08I don't, not something.
54:09I'm that's not something.
54:10I just, I can't, I can't, I just can't even let that sit for a moment.
54:13I can't even let that float on the surface before, before pre-doing it down.
54:18Now I know that there's studies that say, you know, that there's, there's parents have
54:21a limited effect and so on, but this is all studies where kids all go into the same
54:24brain, government schools and so on.
54:26So I would invite you to look at the fact that your parents were not wildly successful.
54:34I'm not saying they're terrible parents, but you know, they weren't wildly successful
54:37in creating happiness for their children.
54:40And it probably is a good idea for you to review what they did.
54:44Cause I asked, did it work out for your father?
54:47Oh yeah, no, he's fine.
54:48He's happy.
54:48He's this, he's that.
54:49It's like, but his kids are not doing particularly well and that should to some degree cloud
54:56his happiness so that he's has an incentive to try and fix it.
55:00Anyway, you can go to freedomain.com slash call you or anybody.
55:03Sorry, I didn't get to everyone here.
55:05I have a appointment coming up so you can go to freedomain.call.
55:09We can do a call in, it can be public or private.
55:11It's generally a really good idea with these kinds of things, because especially for you,
55:14time is running out.
55:16And again, the public ones are totally free.
55:17So if you want to go to freedomain.com slash call, we can set that up.
55:21Thank you so much, everyone for dropping by today.
55:23A real pleasure to chat with you.
55:25And hey, let's hope that the better recording setup works in a way that I like, because I
55:29have a bit of a fetish for at least decent recordings.
55:32Thank you everyone so much.
55:32Sorry to the people we didn't get to.
55:35Lots of love from here.
55:35Freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show.
55:38If you could, I would really appreciate it.
55:40And I'll talk to you soon.
55:41Bye.
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