New Novel Chapter!

Stefan Molyneux

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Transcript

00:00Hey everybody, this is DeFan Molyneux from Freedom Inn. Hope you're doing well. So, I wanted to give you guys a taste of my new novel.

00:07This is a chapter 10, chapter 10 of course, and

00:11this is

00:13a scene between Peter, an old corrupt

00:17law partner, who is in the process of corrupting

00:21young Robert, who's kind of vain,

00:25kind of status-obsessed, and also is married to a

00:29beautiful woman named Helen. I think that's

00:33really all you need to know. And yeah, well, there's a certain amount of corruption

00:36that is going on from Peter to Robert. He's asking him to

00:40delete files on a server related to a real estate transaction that's currently

00:44under litigation. And so, this

00:48is from my new novel. I'm trying a different style of

00:52writing. I'm trying a different style of characterization. And I'd love to get you

00:56your feedback, and hear what you think.

00:59So, this is chapter

01:0010 of my new novel.

01:03Golf is just for people

01:04who can't handle squash, said

01:06Peter, brushing back his silver locks.

01:09Robert laughed.

01:11A good walk spoiled, as the old saying

01:12goes. Don't quote people, Robert,

01:15said Peter impatiently. That's like

01:16stolen valor, stolen brains.

01:20Robert nodded.

01:21Oh, he hated his

01:22boss's constant

01:23what?

01:25Knagging?

01:27Corrections?

01:28Exhortations to be better?

01:31He felt

01:31inferior,

01:33but there was no

01:33clear way to higher status without submitting to the humiliations of being

01:37groomed.

01:39The Eliza do-little treatment was the only way to the top, it seemed.

01:44It was almost

01:46inevitable

01:47that Peter had

01:48only high-status hobbies

01:50and sports.

01:52Rock-climbing,

01:53skiing,

01:54of course,

01:55squash

01:56and tennis.

01:57Bowling was apparently

01:58only for lower-class losers,

02:00and horse-racing.

02:02Peter owned

02:03Liberty Bell,

02:04a fast horse,

02:05well-bred and well-trained,

02:06which won him

02:07significant purses

02:08and roamed around the country

02:09in a little horse-trailer.

02:11See,

02:12said Peter proudly,

02:13showing grainy pictures

02:14on his latest model cell-phone.

02:16Horses used to pull us,

02:17now we pull them.

02:19Progress,

02:20kid.

02:24This was not

02:25a mentor-mentee relationship.

02:28Nothing special.

02:29Peter made that

02:30very clear

02:31to Robert.

02:32Peter had

02:33acolytes,

02:35a stable,

02:35disciples,

02:36perhaps,

02:37and cycled through

02:38eight or so interns

02:40and new hires.

02:41This kept them all

02:42hungry and submissive,

02:44of course,

02:44caught up in

02:45tight,

02:45panicky,

02:46strangled competition

02:47with each other

02:48and their own

02:49demons as well,

02:51which seemed

02:51destined to win

02:52inevitably.

02:55But Robert

02:57had Helen,

02:59a glowing ace

03:00up his sleeve,

03:02a diaphanous goddess

03:03that raised his status

03:04beyond the stratosphere.

03:07Robert

03:07refused to play

03:08the

03:09aw shucks

03:10how did I land her

03:11card.

03:12He skated

03:13close to the edge

03:14of treating Helen

03:15with contempt

03:16like

03:16she'll do.

03:21Implying that he

03:22settled for Helen

03:23was a bold strategy,

03:25especially as Robert

03:26battled his weight

03:26starting right after

03:27he left university.

03:29He was prone

03:31to gaining both

03:32muscles and fat,

03:34so he looked great

03:34when he worked out

03:35and terrible

03:37when he didn't.

03:39As an avid exerciser,

03:40he had developed

03:41a three to four

03:43K calorie

03:44consumption habit

03:44which worked

03:45as long as

03:45his muscles

03:46ate it all,

03:47but he lagged

03:48on lowering

03:49his intake

03:49when his muscles

03:50turned flabby

03:51and indifferent

03:51to food,

03:52so it all

03:53went to his

03:54waist,

03:55to the strangling

03:56body hug

03:57of visceral fat

03:58that turned him

03:59into an addict

03:59of the slow,

04:00permanent sucking

04:01in of the belly

04:02that should have

04:03given him abs

04:04if anything

04:05could be seen

04:06below the wobbly

04:07quicksand

04:08of excess eating.

04:11But,

04:12of course,

04:13Robert knew

04:14with all the

04:14tuning fork

04:15instincts of the

04:16social climber

04:17that his indifference

04:19to Helen's beauty

04:20transmitted to

04:21humbled onlookers

04:23a truly

04:23biblical sense

04:25of Robert's

04:26own romantic prowess.

04:28She must be

04:29an addict to something,

04:31people thought.

04:31He's not rich,

04:32he's not famous,

04:33he's not super

04:34athletic or lean.

04:36It must be something

04:37between the sheets.

04:41That

04:41was worth more

04:43than gold

04:44in the only currency

04:46Robert really knew

04:47or cared about.

04:48Men defer to

04:49money,

04:50power,

04:52and sex,

04:53three sides

04:54of the same coin,

04:55so to speak.

04:58Peter had invited

04:59Robert to join him

05:00at the Shield Club,

05:02a super exclusive

05:03and upscale

05:04social and athletic

05:05club in downtown Toronto.

05:07snow-white linen,

05:10towels as soft

05:11as clouds,

05:13hell-hot saunas,

05:14spotless premises,

05:15and crystal decanters

05:16of lime water

05:17by every sink.

05:19It was like a slice

05:20of heaven

05:20for sinners.

05:23Ten percent

05:23of the price

05:24of the Shield Club

05:25was who was there.

05:27Ninety percent

05:28was who was

05:29excluded.

05:30It was a haven

05:34away from wives.

05:35Robert had yet

05:36to meet a high-status

05:37male who admired

05:38his wife.

05:40Admiring wives

05:40was apparently

05:41the male equivalent

05:42of women over forty

05:43pretending to be married

05:44to their cats.

05:46Wives were for

05:47status, of course,

05:49and appearing normal,

05:50and spending money,

05:52pursuing useless

05:52pretend businesses,

05:54and producing children.

05:56Can't live with them,

05:57can't live without them.

05:58You want to spend money?

06:01You have to let me network,

06:03cried the husbands

06:04while packing up

06:05their gym bags.

06:05Ezekiel will be there.

06:07He's a money machine

06:08looking to make a deal.

06:12And so,

06:14kitchen remodels

06:15were held hostage

06:15until the men

06:17got to escape.

06:19Vacations and jewelry

06:21and the black

06:22psychosis-inducing

06:23infinite credit card

06:25spend-a-thons

06:25were all put on hold

06:27until the men

06:28could go and hobnob

06:29and talk business

06:30in gasping sweaty saunas,

06:33in the same way

06:33that women

06:34whose cash

06:35was put on hold

06:36would be too stressed

06:37to have sex

06:37until the hold

06:39was released.

06:41It was all

06:42transactional

06:44and nakedly

06:45capitalist,

06:46often literally,

06:47and it was all

06:48frankly acknowledged

06:49and even appreciated,

06:51just as children

06:52prefer playing

06:53in yards with fences

06:54rather than

06:54open borders.

06:57And the wives,

07:00of course,

07:02came with all

07:02the satanic powers

07:04of the modern state.

07:07All the wealthy men

07:09knew that their wives,

07:10especially if they

07:11had married young,

07:12could take half

07:13or more

07:14of everything

07:15they had made

07:15at any given moment.

07:18It was the husband

07:19and wife

07:21and the state,

07:23the thug

07:24who always took

07:24the woman's side

07:25and would happily

07:26love the process

07:27of disassembling

07:28the husband.

07:32Robert did wonder

07:34how many of these

07:34alpha males

07:35were,

07:36in fact,

07:38gay.

07:39More than a few,

07:40he guessed,

07:41from the crotch glances

07:42he got in the communal shower

07:43and their general

07:45impulsivity

07:46and amorality.

07:47Everything seemed

07:49a burden,

07:50except vanity,

07:51which was a propulsion

07:53and a guide.

07:55To what?

07:57Robert would sometimes

07:58wonder,

07:59but had to slam

08:00that trap-door shut

08:02immediately,

08:03lest he fall

08:03into a chasm

08:04of curiosity

08:06and thus wisdom.

08:11Peter knocked sharply

08:13on the tall,

08:15clear,

08:15plastic door

08:15of the squash court,

08:16jabbing a forefinger

08:17at his watch.

08:18Time, gentlemen!

08:19Time!

08:19The irritated players

08:22finished their point

08:23and came out,

08:24both men pretending

08:24to be less winded

08:25than they were

08:26to show off

08:27their quasi-Olympic

08:28cardio health,

08:29of course.

08:31Peter gave a speech

08:33to Robert

08:33while driving him

08:34to the club.

08:35Be aware

08:36that I don't

08:37play sports.

08:39It's all practice

08:40for war,

08:41and society

08:42is all war.

08:43Don't be fooled.

08:44I don't care

08:45about your feelings.

08:46I don't encourage

08:47anyone.

08:47I wore to win,

08:49as everyone should.

08:51I won't hold back.

08:52If you're bad,

08:53I don't care.

08:55War is at its most humane

08:56when it's both savage

08:57and short.

08:58If you beat me,

08:59I'll shake your hand

09:00and learn your secrets.

09:02If I beat you,

09:03do the same.

09:05I did squash

09:06in college.

09:07I made one of my opponents

09:09bleed from the nose,

09:11Peter laughed.

09:13Just from exertion,

09:14I didn't even hit him.

09:15I urged him

09:16to keep playing,

09:17but he pussied out.

09:19He was so surprised.

09:20Push through,

09:21I said over and over,

09:22just like being born.

09:25God,

09:25his face was hilarious.

09:30Robert took the place

09:31of a sponge,

09:33just soaking up

09:34strange words

09:35and tangential lessons,

09:37and he thought

09:37of his brother Shane,

09:38who sponged up

09:39all their mother's words

09:40without even getting paid.

09:43Idiot,

09:43he thought.

09:47And squash with Peter

09:48was a brutal combat.

09:53A cruel Aztec ghost

09:55stalked the square

09:56white chamber with them,

09:58the red lines

09:59around the court

09:59like streaks

10:00of childish blood.

10:03Peter's intransigent

10:04will to win

10:05was like a force

10:06of nature,

10:07impossible to resist

10:08like gravity,

10:09except for the briefest

10:10of moments.

10:13But youth had its way

10:15with Peter's aging muscles,

10:17and Robert did dare

10:18to win a game,

10:20slashing ferociously

10:20at the ball,

10:21even pretending

10:22he was about to hit hard,

10:23then doing a gentle

10:24corner lob.

10:28Robert could feel

10:29Peter's rage

10:30and resolution increasing,

10:32and it was fascinating

10:32to experience

10:33the older man's mindset,

10:35which was not anger

10:36at Robert,

10:37but hatred of losing.

10:39It was not personal.

10:41Robert could imagine

10:42Peter raging

10:42against a ball machine

10:44on a tennis court,

10:44lusting for victory

10:45over a circling,

10:46mindless metal arm.

10:48Again, Robert briefly wondered.

10:56Why Peter was so competitive,

10:58had such a hunger for,

11:00not victory exactly,

11:02but domination?

11:04Over what?

11:05Why?

11:08The word excellence

11:10floated through his mind,

11:11but his fading conscience

11:12nagged at him

11:13that there was also

11:14excellence in love

11:15and friendship

11:16and virtue

11:17and, well,

11:19a lot of other things.

11:22It took excellence

11:23to dominate, of course,

11:25but a dedication

11:25to domination

11:26was also a deficiency

11:28in, in,

11:30the ball,

11:32so fast

11:32it was barely visible,

11:33took over Robert's mind

11:34and his tremulous question

11:36scattered like seagulls

11:37before a charging boy.

11:41In the end,

11:42Robert won one game

11:44and Peter won six.

11:47Interestingly,

11:49Peter did not hide

11:50his own tiredness,

11:51but leaned over

11:52and panted without shame.

11:55Robert did not understand

11:56that the older man

11:57was signaling his willpower

11:59and resolution,

12:00his power to overcome

12:01even the fading will

12:02of his aging body.

12:06Afterwards,

12:07in the sauna,

12:08Robert was curious

12:09if Peter would go

12:10fully nude

12:11and was grateful

12:12to the reprieve

12:13of a shielding towel.

12:16Peter was clearly

12:17in a contemplative mood.

12:22You didn't let me win,

12:24he murmured,

12:25his eyes closed,

12:26his sweaty silver hair

12:27pressed against

12:27the cedar wood walls.

12:29I'm not getting

12:30out of this sauna

12:31before you either,

12:32smiles Robert.

12:34Good lad.

12:35They'll recover

12:36our super-pruned bodies

12:38in the morning.

12:39That would be nice.

12:43Robert did not blink.

12:44He was not surprised.

12:45Peter often made comments

12:46about wanting death

12:47or at least

12:48not being overly concerned

12:50with its imminence.

12:52Of course,

12:54continued Peter,

12:55they'd have to dispose

12:56of our bodies

12:57to avoid a lawsuit.

12:59How would they do it?

13:03Robert pursed his lips.

13:05His lungs were full of wet.

13:06Heat.

13:07Tough.

13:08It's the security cameras

13:09that are the problem,

13:10not our bodies per se.

13:11Good.

13:12Work in legal phrases.

13:15So,

13:16I'd put our bodies

13:18through the meat grinders.

13:19They have them

13:20in the kitchen.

13:21Be funny to feed us

13:23to members,

13:23but that's kind of risky.

13:26Do you know

13:26that there are

13:27a hundred and twenty-five

13:29thousand calories

13:30in the human body?

13:32Probably twice that

13:33for an American.

13:35Peter laughed,

13:36then coughed

13:36in the boiling air.

13:39So,

13:39grind us up.

13:44Then that's easier

13:45to dispose of.

13:46Find your local pig farm.

13:48They'll slurp us up

13:49like popsicles

13:50and we come back

13:50to haunt the world

13:51as bacon and pork rinds.

13:53Our afterlife

13:54is a lower-class colon.

13:58Fitting.

14:00But the cameras?

14:01Peter leaned back

14:02further and closed

14:03his eyes.

14:05I got rid of the bodies.

14:07You do the cameras.

14:08Remember,

14:09your life is on the line.

14:12Well, I...

14:13You can't just erase them.

14:15It's too obvious

14:16they can't sue

14:17without evidence.

14:18No evidence.

14:19No body.

14:21No problem.

14:22Yeah, but...

14:24I'm younger.

14:25Remember that from squash?

14:26Deleting a video

14:28is a known problem,

14:29so everything is

14:30properly backed up

14:31in real time.

14:32But that would be local too.

14:33Probably only moved

14:34off-site once a day.

14:35Or week.

14:36More likely.

14:38No, that would be weird

14:39unless it's required

14:40for legal or insurance reasons.

14:42Members

14:42need their privacy.

14:44I don't think

14:45there are many cameras

14:46inside this club.

14:47Entrance?

14:48Probably.

14:49Exits?

14:50Possibly?

14:51Robert smiled.

14:53And of course,

14:54we died from our own

14:55competitiveness.

14:55We weren't murdered.

14:57So the club would want

14:57to pretend we left.

14:59So they just

14:59fake that we're gone.

15:01They take our cards

15:02and backdate signing us

15:03out the night before.

15:04Get rid of any security footage.

15:06That's not too hard.

15:07And there isn't any

15:08in the change rooms anyway.

15:10So that's it.

15:11They check the last time

15:13we show up on security footage.

15:14Hell,

15:15nothing would even need

15:15to be deleted.

15:16They just fake us

15:17leaving the club

15:18some reasonable time

15:19after we last show up

15:20on the security cameras

15:20and then get rid of the bodies

15:21by grinding and feeding.

15:23They probably have

15:24a sewage vent

15:25somewhere.

15:26They could flush us

15:27down there, too.

15:28Yeah, perhaps.

15:29That does leave a trace,

15:30though, true.

15:32But less and less

15:33each time you pour

15:34something down.

15:35Lots of blood and guts

15:36in restaurant garbage.

15:38Ah,

15:38everything gets diluted.

15:41Peter opened his eyes

15:43and stared at the wood

15:44next to Robert's head.

15:46Something about the world,

15:48Robert.

15:49Most people can't

15:51conceive of a prestigious

15:54club like this

15:55grinding up bodies

15:55and flushing blood

15:57and faking us leaving.

15:59Do you know why?

16:00I find it hard

16:02to conceive of,

16:03yes,

16:04said Peter impatiently,

16:05but why?

16:06I can't

16:07think of myself

16:09in that position.

16:11What's the worst

16:13thing

16:14you've done,

16:15Robert?

16:17Peter smiled.

16:17You don't have to

16:18tell me.

16:19I don't even want

16:20to know.

16:20I mean,

16:21I think I know

16:21already,

16:22but...

16:23Do you have that

16:25in your mind?

16:26The worst

16:27thing you've done?

16:29Yeah.

16:31Yeah.

16:33And you

16:33go about your day

16:34and you make

16:36your dinner

16:36and your money

16:37and you make love

16:38to that goddess

16:38who puts up with you

16:39and you wrangle

16:40with your parents

16:41and complain about me.

16:42Of course you do.

16:43Peter's voice

16:44grew softer and softer.

16:45And how often

16:48do you think

16:49about this beast,

16:50this ghost

16:52that lives within you,

16:53this worst thing?

16:56Peter paused.

16:57No,

16:58that's a real question.

16:59You can answer it.

17:00HR is hell,

17:01but can't stand

17:02this kind of heat.

17:05I...

17:06don't think of it often,

17:08murmured Robert,

17:09feeling as if

17:10he were falling back

17:11past spiraling stars

17:13through superheated space.

17:15Most people

17:18would guess

17:18it's about

17:19your ex-girlfriend,

17:20Chloe.

17:21But I know

17:22it's about

17:23your brother,

17:25whispered Peter.

17:27That's...

17:27crazy.

17:30Peter waved

17:30a weary hand

17:31and stood up

17:31and spilled more water

17:32on the hot sauna rocks.

17:34The rolling heat

17:35poured from the ceiling

17:36and down

17:37Robert's back.

17:41So that's

17:42your...

17:42worst thing?

17:44And people

17:47think that there's

17:47some really

17:48worse thing,

17:49like grinding up

17:51bodies and feeding

17:52them to pigs,

17:52that they would be

17:53unable to live with.

17:56Peter laughed

17:56softly,

17:57his face

17:57a wet sheen

17:58of suffering.

17:59I saw

18:01Macbeth

18:02once.

18:03I got kicked

18:04out

18:04for laughing.

18:06It's a

18:06freaking comedy,

18:08Rob.

18:09This guy

18:10is a

18:11killing machine

18:11who can't

18:12sleep

18:13because he

18:13cleared his

18:14way forward

18:14by offing

18:15the old man

18:16who turned

18:17him into

18:17a killer.

18:18It's funny.

18:20The stupid

18:20morality tale

18:21to keep

18:21the dumb

18:22peasants

18:22in line.

18:23Don't kill

18:24your rulers,

18:25kids.

18:25That's super

18:25bad.

18:26And the

18:27rulers kill

18:28and steal

18:29at will

18:29by the

18:30millions

18:30and billions.

18:32You think

18:32presidents

18:33can't sleep

18:34because of

18:34Vietnam?

18:37It's absurd.

18:39Genghis Khan

18:40so tortured

18:41by all that

18:41torturing.

18:44Did Stalin

18:45or Hitler

18:46lose sleep?

18:48And everyone

18:49thinks that

18:50there is some

18:50line.

18:52And there is.

18:53I can see

18:53for most people.

18:54But not all.

18:56Not all.

18:59The people

19:00who dropped

19:00the bomb

19:01on Hiroshima,

19:02Nagasaki,

19:03they pressed

19:04a button

19:04and vaporized

19:06a couple

19:07of hundred

19:07thousand people.

19:10Mostly

19:10women and

19:11children.

19:12Some took

19:13ten years

19:14of sickening

19:14before dying.

19:17Monstrous.

19:18Inhuman.

19:18You know,

19:22I have dreams

19:25of pushing

19:26that button.

19:28Not that

19:29I'm dying

19:29to.

19:31I just

19:31wonder

19:34if I would.

19:37Those women

19:37raised the

19:38children who

19:38brutally tortured

19:39those POWs.

19:40The Australians

19:41in particular.

19:43They tested

19:43bioweapons

19:44on them,

19:45frozen,

19:45thawed them,

19:46grew bamboo

19:47into their flesh,

19:48beat them

19:48for hours,

19:49dissected them

19:50without anesthesia.

19:52Their moms

19:53raised them,

19:55taught them,

19:55made them who

19:56they are.

19:56Should they be

19:57immune to

19:58blowback?

19:59No evil men

20:00without more

20:01evil mothers.

20:02I don't

20:06want to

20:06push

20:07that

20:08button.

20:09But I

20:10dream about

20:11whether

20:12I would.

20:14And I

20:16know I

20:16would.

20:17I'm lying.

20:19My dream

20:19is more

20:21about my

20:21life

20:22afterwards.

20:26Would I

20:27be bothered?

20:28Would I

20:29be

20:29Macbeth?

20:32Would I

20:32wake in

20:33sweats

20:33from bad

20:34dreams?

20:35But my

20:36dreams are

20:37great.

20:37After the

20:38button,

20:38I'm

20:39barbecuing

20:40topless.

20:40My wife

20:41is thirty

20:41years younger.

20:42No kids

20:42in the

20:42house.

20:43Do

20:43whatever

20:43we

20:43want.

20:44It's

20:44heaven.

20:47Robert

20:47felt

20:47unreal,

20:48dreamier

20:49and dreamier.

20:51The heat

20:51was consuming

20:52him.

20:53His limbs

20:53felt leaden,

20:54immobile.

20:56Peter's

20:57voice

20:57continued,

20:58and Robert

20:59kept thinking

20:59of his

21:00mother's

21:00voice and

21:01his

21:01brother's

21:01hollow

21:02trapped

21:02ears filled

21:03with neurotic

21:04words and

21:05the endless

21:06estrogen of

21:07transient

21:07inflicted

21:08perceptions.

21:11And I

21:12have done

21:13wrong.

21:15What people

21:16call wrong,

21:18Robert.

21:19It never

21:20feels that

21:21way for me,

21:22though I'm

21:23scared it

21:23will.

21:24It might.

21:27It's like

21:28I'm an

21:28archaeologist

21:29cracking some

21:29Egyptian

21:30tomb,

21:30and the

21:31native

21:31helpers

21:32all run

21:32away

21:33because I'm

21:34going to

21:34get the

21:34mummy's

21:34curse.

21:37And I'm

21:37scared a bit.

21:38Sure,

21:39I'm mostly

21:40human,

21:40but I'm

21:42more curious.

21:43So I

21:43excavate the

21:44body and

21:45study the

21:45death robes

21:46and rituals

21:46out in the

21:47sunlight.

21:49And I

21:50wait

21:52for the

21:54curse.

21:54will I

21:56get

21:56leprosy?

21:58Will

21:58bricks

21:59fall on

21:59my head?

22:00Will I

22:00get hit

22:00by a

22:01bus?

22:01Will

22:01my

22:01luggage

22:01go

22:02missing?

22:04And I

22:04wait

22:05because I

22:06am a

22:07scientist,

22:08an

22:09empiricist.

22:09I wait

22:10for the

22:10curse to

22:11strike.

22:13But it

22:14never

22:14does.

22:17I wake

22:18up because

22:18I have to

22:19pee.

22:19My bladder

22:20wakes me.

22:21Never my

22:22conscience.

22:23And going

22:25through the

22:25world with

22:26these

22:26superstitious

22:27native guides

22:27and helpers,

22:28precious little

22:29help to me,

22:29is like being

22:31an Olympic

22:32athlete,

22:33competing in

22:34the special

22:34Olympics.

22:37Peter laughed

22:38sadly.

22:40It's so

22:41unfair.

22:42People get

22:43their gold

22:44and then get

22:44hit by this

22:45curse,

22:47the curse of

22:47regret,

22:48of conscience.

22:50But it's

22:51like voodoo,

22:53I guess.

22:54If you don't

22:54believe in it,

22:55it just

22:55doesn't

22:56affect you,

22:58you know?

22:59Do you know

22:59that?

23:00His voice

23:01was whisper

23:01quiet.

23:03It's the

23:04greatest

23:04secret,

23:05Robert,

23:05my son.

23:07Everyone

23:07around you

23:08is crippled

23:10by conscience,

23:12paralyzed,

23:14frightened

23:14by punishments

23:16they have to

23:17first believe

23:17in in order

23:18to ever

23:18experience.

23:19and I

23:21was willing

23:22to believe

23:23in it.

23:24Robert,

23:24I wanted

23:26to.

23:27I killed

23:28animals when

23:29I was a

23:29kid trying

23:30to summon

23:31my conscience.

23:33I even

23:34tortured them

23:35trying to

23:36get the

23:36feel of

23:38being good

23:39or even

23:40wanting to

23:41be.

23:41the animals

23:44suffered.

23:45He laughed

23:46softly.

23:47I guess

23:47their parents

23:48could push

23:48that button

23:49and irradiate

23:49me.

23:51But the

23:52animals

23:52suffered

23:53so that

23:54people would

23:55not suffer

23:56from me.

23:58I mean,

24:01we do

24:02animal testing

24:02all the

24:03time,

24:03Robert,

24:03for makeup

24:04and skin

24:04creams.

24:06This was

24:06to save

24:07people

24:07from me,

24:09to make

24:10me feel

24:11bad for

24:12doing wrong.

24:13He sighed,

24:16but I

24:17never did.

24:20I mean,

24:21I can fake

24:22it.

24:23A good actor

24:24can fake

24:24a limp,

24:25a disability,

24:26and I can

24:26fake a conscience.

24:27I can fake

24:28empathy.

24:28It's needed

24:29sometimes.

24:31And from,

24:32this is a

24:33great secret,

24:34Robert,

24:34don't make

24:34me show

24:35you.

24:36I went

24:36from

24:37animals

24:37to

24:39mental

24:39torture

24:40to

24:41people,

24:43their

24:43actual

24:43lives.

24:47I've

24:47broken

24:48hearts,

24:50Robert.

24:50I still

24:51do.

24:53I can't

24:53tell you

24:53how many

24:54people I've

24:54sued,

24:55men mostly

24:56who've

24:56committed

24:56suicide,

24:57and it

24:57pisses me

24:58off.

24:58It's like

24:58killing

24:59yourself

24:59because you

25:00lost at

25:00poker.

25:00It's

25:00weak.

25:03And for

25:03two of

25:03them,

25:04Robert,

25:04I even

25:05went to

25:06the

25:06funerals,

25:08in disguise,

25:08of course,

25:09like at a

25:09distance,

25:10and they

25:11went into

25:11the ground,

25:13and everyone

25:13cried,

25:14and sang

25:15stupid

25:15sentimental

25:16songs.

25:16I could

25:17murder that

25:17diddy.

25:18Imagine

25:18pure

25:18nihilism.

25:20And I

25:20waited

25:21to feel

25:22bad.

25:23Hell,

25:23I

25:23wanted

25:24to

25:24feel

25:25bad.

25:26It's

25:26like if

25:26you wake

25:27up from

25:27an accident,

25:28you can't

25:28feel your

25:28legs.

25:29That's

25:29bad,

25:29right?

25:29You

25:29want to

25:30be in

25:30pain,

25:31or you're

25:32kind of

25:32dead.

25:33I don't

25:33want to

25:34be dead,

25:35Robert.

25:35I want to

25:36have life

25:36in my

25:37limbs.

25:38But all

25:38the folks

25:39at the

25:39funeral

25:40crying,

25:40it was

25:41like,

25:41you don't

25:42get this

25:42when you

25:43become a

25:43dad.

25:43I hope

25:44you do.

25:44It was

25:45like a

25:45kid crying

25:46because they

25:46dropped their

25:47last bit of

25:47ice cream

25:48into the

25:48gutter.

25:48They

25:49weep and

25:50wail,

25:50but it

25:50means nothing

25:51really.

25:52Most things

25:52kids cry

25:53about are

25:53stupid,

25:54pointless.

25:55And you

25:55have to

25:55indulge

25:56them,

25:56I guess,

25:57though that's

25:57more the

25:58work for

25:58women,

25:58really.

25:59But from

26:00the larger

26:00scope of

26:01history,

26:01it's all

26:02eugenics,

26:04and war,

26:04and torture,

26:05and murder.

26:06Like,

26:07England became

26:07civilized because

26:08they killed

26:09the psycho

26:091% every

26:10year until

26:10only the

26:11rigidly

26:11polite were

26:12left.

26:13And I

26:14know that

26:14could mean

26:14that I

26:15should be

26:15killed,

26:16but it

26:16takes the

26:16psychos to

26:17behead the

26:18psychos,

26:18right?

26:19Until there

26:20are only a

26:21few executioner

26:22psychos left,

26:23and then

26:23they all

26:25go into

26:25politics.

26:27And law,

26:29obviously,

26:30Robert.

26:31So I

26:32kind of

26:32killed

26:34people,

26:35let's be

26:35honest.

26:36It's just

26:37the cleanup

26:37of the

26:37weak.

26:38Who really

26:39cares?

26:40The other

26:40weaklings

26:41crippled by

26:41bad feelings

26:42for necessary

26:43and helpful

26:43actions.

26:47And you

26:48are.

26:48bothered by

26:49whatever I

26:50asked you

26:50to do

26:51with the

26:52real estate

26:52case.

26:53You don't

26:54want to

26:54delete the

26:55server files.

26:57You're

26:57thinking of

26:58reporting me.

26:59I get that.

27:00Fine.

27:02Play around

27:03with decisiveness.

27:06Good.

27:07See if you

27:08have a

27:08conscience.

27:12But you

27:12don't,

27:13Robert.

27:13you fake

27:15it.

27:16And that's

27:17fine.

27:18Camouflage is

27:19essential in

27:19war.

27:22Peter laughed.

27:24Do you see

27:24how frank I

27:25can be in a

27:26place where

27:26it's impossible

27:27to record?

27:28you will

27:32toy with

27:34reporting me

27:34and fulfilling

27:35your obligations

27:36to the code

27:37of conduct

27:37for a lawyer

27:38to professional

27:39ethics.

27:41But you

27:42will be

27:44blocked.

27:45That terrible

27:46decision will

27:48be blocked by

27:49your lovely

27:49wife,

27:51your Helen,

27:52because she

27:54is one of

27:55us,

27:56of me.

27:56I can

27:57spot that

27:58from the

27:58other side

27:58of an

27:58airplane

27:59hangar,

27:59Robert.

28:01You'll

28:01play with

28:02doing the

28:03right thing,

28:05obeying

28:05slave morality,

28:06same thing,

28:06of course,

28:07and she'll

28:08talk you out

28:09of it,

28:10and you

28:10will become

28:11a compromised

28:12realist who

28:13understands that

28:14morality is

28:15just a

28:15castrating lie

28:16designed to

28:17keep people

28:17like us from

28:18naturally and

28:19justly ruling

28:20the masses,

28:21who clamor for

28:22freedom but

28:22secretly want us

28:23to control them.

28:25And I'm not

28:25trying to change

28:26who you are,

28:27dear Robert.

28:28Just stop you

28:29from pointlessly

28:29fighting who

28:31you are.

28:32You are a

28:33killer,

28:33Robert,

28:34like me,

28:35and we kill

28:36illusions.

28:40Don't be

28:40ensnared by

28:41these silly

28:42ethics,

28:43Robert.

28:44We win,

28:45we accumulate,

28:46and we

28:47control.

28:48Or we die,

28:50surely as we

28:51have killed.

28:51Peter's voice

28:54continued its

28:55downward spiral

28:56into moral

28:56madness and

28:57monstrous power

28:58until Robert

29:00awoke from

29:01shocking ice

29:01water to the

29:02face, lying

29:03in the

29:03change room,

29:04staring at the

29:05painted ceiling,

29:06with Peter's

29:06anxious face

29:07hovering over

29:08him.

29:09You passed

29:10out in the

29:11sauna,

29:11idiot.

29:12You lost.

29:14But tell me,

29:15how much do

29:16you remember?

29:17So that's the

29:21end of the

29:22chapter, and

29:22I'd love to

29:23get your

29:23feedback.

29:24I personally

29:24love this

29:25kind of

29:25stuff.

29:25It's a very

29:26new kind of

29:26writing for

29:26me, and

29:28I've never

29:28really written

29:29a sociopath

29:29before, so

29:30I'm kind of

29:30curious whether

29:31that seems

29:31believable to

29:32you.

29:32And also, I

29:33love the

29:33fact that

29:34Robert doesn't

29:36know when he

29:37passes out, and

29:37the reader doesn't

29:38know when Robert

29:38passes out, so

29:39we don't know

29:40how much of

29:40Peter's speech

29:41is the Peter

29:43in Robert, or

29:44Robert's lack

29:44of conscience,

29:45versus Peter

29:45in the sauna.

29:46So, yeah,

29:47I'm curious

29:47what you

29:47think, and

29:48thanks, of

29:49course, for

29:49your support

29:50at

29:50freedomain.com

29:51which gives

29:52me the

29:52ability to

29:53write this

29:54kind of

29:54stuff.

29:55So, thanks

29:56Mel, bye.

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