ĐM MÀY TỰ LÀM MÀ ĂN Tao Rip KÊNh ĐÓ Nhe Quick Flicks

Quick Flicks

Transcript

00:00Oh

00:30It's okay.

01:00I know.

01:27Yo.

01:2825, no, no, no, I ordered 200.

01:30Page 25.

01:31Ticket up to Lou.

01:38Yeah.

01:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:40No, no, no, Louie, that's really nice of you.

01:43Uh-huh.

01:46Yeah, no, no, we're really grateful to still be open after everything.

01:50Yeah, so listen, I, um...

01:53I'm still trying to figure this place out.

01:56You know, see how Michael was doing everything?

01:58And I want to get you your money.

02:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I miss him, uh, I miss him too.

02:05Yeah.

02:07Okay.

02:08No, it's good.

02:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:10Okay.

02:11Thanks, anybody.

02:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:13All right.

02:14Bye.

02:15Bye.

02:16Bye.

02:17Shut up!

02:18No, no, no, no, no, puta!

02:19Don't unplug it.

02:20I know what that means, Tina.

02:21You unplug it.

02:22It won't work again.

02:23When was the last time you emptied these?

02:24I don't know.

02:25I don't know.

02:26No, no, no, no, puta!

02:27Don't unplug it.

02:28I know what that means, Tina.

02:29You unplug it, it won't work again.

02:30When was the last time you emptied these?

02:31I don't know.

02:32I don't know.

02:33You unplug it, it won't work again.

02:35When was the last time you emptied these?

02:36I don't know.

03:02Hey, Chi-Chi, it's Karm.

03:03You still got that meat in there?

03:21You cut vegetables like a bitch.

03:23Don't wipe your hands on your apron, Chef.

03:25Chef?

03:26Chef.

03:32Chef.

03:50We got issues.

03:51This arcuate's painted.

03:52Yeah, no shit it is.

03:53They conserved copper during World War II.

03:55That's why there's no rivets?

03:56That's why no rivets.

03:57How the fuck do you not know that?

03:58Because I fucking don't.

03:59This is original Big E red line salvage, all right?

04:02From 1944.

04:03You can get $12.50 for that on eBay.

04:05Tonight.

04:06And I'd still be five and a half short.

04:07Add this.

04:08What am I, a coin star?

04:09That's like three hundo, Chi-Chi.

04:10Three hundo plus what?

04:13Plus a 1955 blanket line type three.

04:16Pleated?

04:17Pleated.

04:18Boom.

04:19Sure.

04:20That means no one could be a kiss for you.

04:22It's a bad one, the unlikely.

04:23I'll go and have another quiz, in the next six.

04:24The way out of the way.

04:25I'll go and have another quiz.

04:26The way out of the way.

04:27There's a huge spot.

04:28I'm trying to catch a match?

04:29One minute.

04:30There's a big one.

04:31It's a huge challenge.

04:32Can't wait.

04:33There's a huge challenge.

04:34All right.

04:35There's a huge challenge that you get.

04:36How are you?

04:37There's a big surprise.

04:38I'll go again.

04:39There's a big surprise.

04:40I'll go.

04:41There's a huge challenge.

04:42See?

04:43There's a huge challenge.

04:44There's a big surprise.

04:45You can't wait.

04:46hey sugar yeah yeah look I need your help no no no no it's not like that yeah I need that

05:04jacket that Mike gave me yeah look can you uh can you bring it here thank you okay yeah yeah all right

05:12all right bye hi hello hi I'm Sydney I called about the supposition I'm assaging today right

05:23sorry yes yeah yeah car me um here you give me your yes thank you uh linear smoke that's some serious

05:32heat what's uh what's UPS that's in Chicago or uh United Parcel Service shit the one that's the

05:40the mail yeah yeah um what'd you would you do for them drove pay my way through culinary school so

05:46CIA CIA yeah okay so what are you doing here you know this um this was my dad's favorite spot when

05:56I was a kid come here every Sunday special place good um okay so you know the drill we uh you're gonna

06:08make family it's meat plus three and we eat around two yeah her dope cool what's up can I just like ask

06:18you a question maybe of course yeah I know who you are oh yeah yeah I mean you're the most excellent

06:27CDC at the most excellent restaurant in the entire United States of America so what are you doing here

06:35I guess making sandwiches yeah Tina Carmen Ibrahim what is beef it's in the oven Tina can you start a new

06:45chart in there for me please chef I need my feno first Jeff Carmen Ibrahim I need my beef then I do

06:51onions then I do potatoes we have sisters but you could punch them blanch them freeze them fry them

06:55before the beef right don't mess up all the place I'm not messing anything up Jeff no please please do not

07:01touch that this is the one time you listen to me please do not touch that that's been going for 12

07:04hours okay that's my pot Jeff everybody knows that's her to pot use another pot please chef all right

07:11corner

07:12hey Marcus I need a double order of bread today okay chef come on Carmen I've been telling you for the

07:18past two weeks the mixer's fucking I gotta do all this by hand plus Tina keeps messing with the

07:21temperature and it's fucking on my rise Tina I know you speak English listen Marcus we're not meeting

07:25dailies all right vendors are cutting us off I don't have the money to fix it right this second

07:29but I will get you a new mixer okay I promise you Carmen yeah all right that's the beef come on give me

07:34in I said I don't give a damn smaller fries scoops today chef behind that system what is this system

07:40Michael's system Carmen there's the girl yeah that's Sydney she's helping us out today Michael's system

07:44makes no sense I'm saying something Marcus I say something you are my favorite bitch oh your English

07:48getting tight James you're kidnapping ship captain your mom teaches me doing sex oh that's not cool

07:53hey yo Gary you set up for compost for me today chef after I'll do my thing in the place it's very

08:00clear thank you behind behind hey chef is there like a family shop or something behind no

08:06I'm sorry I'm see a homo lock me that extra for us a lot coming out for me yeah I see like oh me that

08:13family yard fuck off gracias bottom right side of walk-in thanks chef

08:23yo this shit looks different corner yo family yo you fucking with my program cousin program started

08:40four hours ago you know why I ain't a kid all morning excuse me listen what is going on with

08:44my instance completely yeah I got what is that a diss I got 36 followers you fucking we need the

08:55business nerds come in from Rockford to play yeah like in 1987 you know when you were still in that

08:59deadbeats balls how are you how was the recital oh my god she murdered it Tina I gotta hold on

09:06listen you gotta run this stuff by me first I don't have to do shit hold on wait listen let's

09:10just have a conversation for a second whoa fuck is this this is Sydney I'm starting today you're

09:15what-ing today Sydney she's helping us out today cousin you're ordering different mayonnaise bro

09:19banana no all you chef yeah all you chef this bit he was using them to make a giant not it was a

09:24play on a panettone it would have been beautiful if you let me finish it all right fuck you cousin

09:29Richie Jaramovich pleasure to meet you sweetheart don't say sweetheart you fucking weirdo oh sorry

09:32Carm you're so woke I made nothing by it Sydney St. Sweetheart's just part of our Italian

09:37that's beautiful okay listen I'm trying to talk to you okay don't be rude and start doing a million

09:44things like a smart ass I don't have time for this right now I don't have time for this right now

09:47to take care of your mom for six months no don't you fucking I got all kinds of receipts from my

09:51divorce lawyer backing up because all the time I'm spent trying to put your family back together

09:55because you're too much of a cocksucker to come home the guys are texting me you tell them I'm going

10:01to do all sorts of weird shit backwards don't fucking do that Carmen don't go messing with our

10:06heads and ordering different manics and hiring new fucking bras without talking to me first this is

10:12your brother's house okay yeah remember I was running it fine without you why didn't you leave it to

10:18me

10:22low on olive oil car me heard

10:25there's my knife

10:33chefs we gotta sharpen our knives when we get a sec we gotta sharpen your brain when we get a sec

10:41you've been here for two weeks we've been having money problems for two weeks one plus one equals

10:46you're an asshole Bobby Flay

10:46don't call me Bobby Flay Sidney you stir that pot for me please chef

10:49you want a cartouche

10:51please thank you chef

10:52what's our best day here

10:53five

10:54okay Ibrahim give me a pot for the journey there

10:56so if we do six that will get us through the week right

10:59so ball breaker

11:00just make it easy and make the fucking spaghetti

11:03don't say spaghetti all these knives are dull

11:06spaghetti was the biggest silicon that shit was straight up fire

11:08straight up done now chef behind you

11:09yeah but why

11:10because fucking a live in Madison Park dickhead over here he couldn't figure it out

11:14housekeeping chefs

11:15again what the fuck are you saying anyone understand what he's saying

11:18housekeeping means you have to clean your stations because this place is fucking gross

11:22I refer to everybody as chef because it's a sign of respect

11:26and I never said I couldn't figure out the spaghetti I said it doesn't make any sense on this menu

11:30so it is done

11:31the end

11:32three hours to open

11:34chef

11:34who are you yelling at carmy

11:36there's like four of us in here

11:39now let me ask you something

11:40if the spaghetti didn't make any sense

11:42how come everybody fucking loved that shit

11:44everybody doesn't have any taste

11:46it was an underseason oversauce mess

11:48it took seven hours to prep

11:50you know what

11:50this shit right here

11:52made you pompous and delusional

11:54and a fucking

11:56gay rob

11:57these guys they taught you how to cook with ants

11:59but none of these fuckwads taught you how to make a pasta

12:01I'm glad I make pasta carmy

12:03A. I know how to make pasta marcus

12:05B. I hate to break your hearts motherfuckers

12:07but that gluey mushy bullshit

12:09is not bailing us out this time

12:10ball breaker is

12:11facts raising players to a dollar

12:13so shut the fuck up

12:14who the fuck is fat

12:15Tina did you take my knife chef

12:16did you take my patja

12:18fuck

12:21this fucking fairies butt buddy

12:25these fuck

12:25whoa

12:26why is the beef so hot

12:28because we just took it out

12:29two hours late

12:31two hours longer

12:32Wrigley didn't deliver enough meat this week

12:34why didn't Wrigley deliver

12:35because we're out of money

12:37the only beef I could get was bone in

12:39which you have to braise

12:40all right

12:40it takes two hours longer

12:42the good news is

12:43we can stretch it

12:44by cutting the bread shorter

12:45which is not how we have ever done a beef here

12:48in 25 years car

12:49system baby

12:50system

12:51system

12:51you can barely afford to pay people

12:53but sick system

12:54talk to me about labor

12:55I thought this was your house

12:57fuck all this

13:03announcement

13:05listen up

13:06bread

13:07stays the same

13:08gravy

13:09stays the same

13:10buck's not gonna get him anywhere bear

13:27it's just too difficult

13:28yeah fact

13:29that's the point

13:30it's already ultra confusing

13:31yeah homie

13:32it's a Norwegian knockoff

13:34of Mortal Kombat

13:34part of the reason why this machine

13:36got recalled in the first place

13:37aside from the excessive

13:38and irresponsible violences

13:40it's just too difficult

13:41it's a fighter and a fucking scroller

13:42also

13:44I'm sorry

13:45I didn't make it to the funeral

13:47I sent flowers

13:48and I really hope that they look nice

13:50I don't know

13:51I wasn't there

13:52how long is this gonna take

13:53it's gonna take an hour

13:54all right

13:54it's gotta be faster

13:55yo sweeps

13:55can you open up the windows in the back please

13:57later

13:57carmen

13:57you're bleeding

13:58come stay

13:59shit

14:00man stupid

14:00dull ass night

14:01they're making me worse

14:02corner

14:02fucking dead

14:03Ibrahim

14:04come it's your fault

14:05say corner

14:06blood

14:06you see

14:07good

14:08good

14:08you're happy now

14:10I'm trying my fucking knife back

14:11I'm not happy

14:12I'm not happy

14:13stop shooting

14:14I'm ROB

14:16I'm not happy

14:17I'm not happy

14:18I'm happy

14:18not happy

14:19because of tourism

14:20I'm happy

14:21Let's go.

14:51Let's go.

15:21It's the guy from the hot dog stand.

15:22And I'm like, listen, go home already.

15:26Get the fuck out of here.

15:27Oh, my God.

15:30So I'm like, okay, now there's a problem.

15:32I'm trying to enjoy my tacos.

15:33You're ruining my day, right?

15:35So this guy, he pulls out a revolver.

15:37No, swear to God.

15:38And I'm like, oh, my God, where did you get that?

15:41What, what, you steal that from the museum gift shop?

15:43You know, like, who are you, Mr. Bogart?

15:46No, please, what are you doing?

15:47Hey, I gotta go see my sister.

16:12You hold down the floor?

16:13Yeah, sure.

16:14Listen, Jeff, how come your sister won't come by again?

16:17Oh, you gotta ask her.

16:22Yo.

16:23You didn't put it in a bag or anything?

16:26That's how you say hello to me?

16:28Hi.

16:28You smell like this place.

16:43Fine.

16:45I'm sorry, I just hate seeing you here.

16:50Yeah, well...

16:51Marcus!

16:58What?

16:59We're in a chili flakes.

17:00It's the most Polish shit ever.

17:01Because it organizes, it's more confusing.

17:03Right there.

17:04Label chili flakes.

17:09What does sweeps stand for?

17:11I swept St. Louis three times and had a no-hitter.

17:14My real last name is Woods.

17:16Have you talked to Mom?

17:35No.

17:36I know she'd love to see you.

17:38No, I know.

17:38I know.

17:39I just...

17:40I've been trying to call you.

17:51You haven't called me back.

17:53Yeah, no, I know.

17:53I just, I've been busy.

17:54I've been working, so...

17:55Uncle Jimmy wants to buy this place.

17:58It's not for sale.

17:58I know.

17:59That's what I wanted to tell you.

18:00That it's not for sale?

18:01No, that I think we should sell it to him.

18:02So we can flip it into an Applebee's?

18:03No, no.

18:04I'm trying to do something here, sugar.

18:07Okay, I was so excited for you to come home.

18:12I've got to go.

18:15Okay.

18:18I'm okay.

18:21Okay?

18:24I want to fix this place.

18:28I was asking you to.

18:29Um, I really, I've got to go, okay?

18:37Bear.

18:38Yeah.

18:38I love you.

18:41Thank you for this.

18:55Welcome back.

18:59Time to try the new sandwiches.

19:03Behind.

19:04More nerves.

19:08Marcus, rolls, please, chef.

19:11Come on.

19:11Again.

19:15That's crumbly.

19:16It's too dense.

19:17I'm doing it by hand.

19:18Yeah.

19:18It's the mixer.

19:19It's not the mixer, all right?

19:20It's crumbly.

19:20The oven's too dry.

19:21You need to fill a baking sheet with water,

19:23put it on the oven floor,

19:24throw in another batch, okay?

19:25What's the matter?

19:25Do my job.

19:25Just do it.

19:26Yo!

19:31Somebody come try this, cousin!

19:32You're right!

19:34That was a perfect.

19:35There you go, chef.

19:36Chef.

19:39Go on.

19:39What do you think?

19:40It's redundant and white, just like you.

19:42Heard, heard, heard.

19:43Tina.

19:43Salt.

19:44Heat.

19:45It's tender.

19:46It's nice.

19:46We happy.

19:47We happy.

19:49Right, right, right.

19:51Yo, Sidney.

19:52Try this business.

19:54What's the matter?

19:56Oh, fuck.

19:58Mm-hmm.

19:59You know that's fire.

20:00Yeah, it's fucking fire.

20:01Mm-hmm.

20:02So how are you going to pass the family test?

20:04Delicious or impressive?

20:06Delicious is impressive.

20:08Word.

20:10Word.

20:15That dude looks like a carrot.

20:17Is that a fucking carrot?

20:19I mean, it's clearly a carrot.

20:20Do you not know what a carrot looks like?

20:22Better need more bread.

20:23See, it's all good until it starts making this weird guh-guh-guh-guh sound.

20:30Oh, my God.

20:31That's a classic sound with these fucking pieces of shit.

20:33Hey, did you know Michael?

20:35Dude, he was like one of my best friends, but then fucking got dark at the end.

20:38Corner.

20:39How are you looking on that bread?

20:40Coming out soon.

20:41Watch your back.

20:42Hey, TTS, come get your jacket.

20:44Yo, yo.

20:45Fuck, how are we looking?

20:45Dude, I'm going to be able to fix this, dude.

20:47Do you have any of that snail bread?

20:49Corner.

20:50Yeah, corner.

20:51Hey, I'll pay you in sandwich, yeah?

20:55Deal.

20:56No shit deal.

20:57Oh, fuck off, man.

20:58Hey, was Richie always an asshole?

20:59Dude, always and forever, dude.

21:01He's the fucking worst.

21:02Yeah, he sucks.

21:03Dude, he's not a nice guy.

21:04It's just he's sad inside.

21:07Fair.

21:09Dude.

21:18Yo, family's up.

21:19Yeah.

21:20Let's do this.

21:22Oh, my God.

21:23It smells bad.

21:24That looks so good.

21:25Yeah, I said yeah.

21:27Let's go.

21:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:29I bet you.

21:30Oh, okay.

21:31What do we got going on over here?

21:33Uh, yeah, we got a stew, rice, plantains, and a love-bentile salad.

21:37All right, let me kiss you, bro.

21:38Yo, let's do this.

21:41I bring my own.

21:42This looks like shit.

21:43Oh, come on, dude.

21:44I still pay them shit.

21:45Inshallah.

21:46That's not nice.

21:46I don't eat pork.

21:47That's not nice.

21:47It's not pork, it's beef.

21:49He never, he never, he never, he never, he never, he never.

21:50Okay.

21:51They look like pork.

21:51All right, all right.

21:52I'll start, I'll start.

21:53I'm grateful for Philip K. Dick.

21:55Feck, you're up.

21:56Me?

21:57Ah, I'm, I'm, I'm thankful for my, my cats, Ralph.

22:02They both name off?

22:04Yeah, it's just like it's easier that way.

22:06Ralphie Ralph.

22:07All right, teen, you're up.

22:08What's up?

22:08I'm grateful for all y'all, my family.

22:11All right.

22:12Let me give you a fucking softie.

22:14I guess I'm grateful that Richie didn't come in here wearing that cologne today that he always

22:19be wearing.

22:20You know, it smelled like a pine tree and shit.

22:24Smell like onion under arms.

22:27Onion, onion, onion under arms.

22:31Chef, you want a plate?

22:32All good.

22:33Thank you, chef.

22:34You can have mine if you change your mind.

22:36What?

22:37I just never have platanos with, like, grass on them.

22:40Yo, cousin, cousin, cousin.

22:42Yo, it's getting crazy out there.

22:43Come give me a hand.

22:44Pablo, this is on you.

22:47Yo, teen, how about these platanos, though, right?

22:48Yo, really?

22:49Yeah, really.

22:50This is in my house, remember?

22:52I didn't say I didn't like them.

22:54She was just saying she was in a chair.

22:55You did like them.

22:58Yo!

22:59Hey!

23:00Everybody relax.

23:01You fucking look right.

23:03Yo!

23:04Hey, stop being on the fucking line.

23:06My God, stop being on the fucking line.

23:07Get off the top of the screen.

23:08Look at this.

23:09Fuck you, brother.

23:10Fuck you.

23:13Fuck you.

23:14Fuck you.

23:15Fuck you.

23:18Merry Christmas, lizards.

23:26Sounds like we got a real problem out here.

23:29Any of you incel, Q&I, 4chan?

23:32Snyder Cut motherfuckers want to get on the line now?

23:37Anybody?

23:39Yeah.

23:41I didn't think so.

23:43Cousin.

23:43You all right?

23:49You all right?

23:52We're going to have a little tournament here today.

23:55We are going to be on our best behavior.

23:58We're not going to scare any of the regulars.

24:01We're not going to touch them.

24:02We're not going to look at them all weird.

24:03We're not going to do any of that spectral shit.

24:06Yes?

24:10Good.

24:11You're going to purchase one Italian beef combo to enter.

24:14Now, this is a single elimination party.

24:16So you lose, you get the fuck out.

24:19No two ways about it.

24:21You win.

24:22Free Italian ice for a year.

24:24Also, also, also, I hate litter.

24:35So you cocks are going to clean up after yourselves, and you're going to goddamn recycle.

24:40Fuck you.

24:48Cousin, how fucking dope is that?

24:51Not dope at all.

24:52What are you talking about?

24:52I brought that crowd in.

24:53That's a lot of money out there.

24:54That we're not prepped for.

24:55I should have let those turkeys eat you, Carmine.

24:57I swear to God, today was not the day to go fucking with the system.

25:00System, system, cousin.

25:01Hey, I don't care.

25:03I do not care what you do up in Napa with your fucking tweezers and your foie gras.

25:06You got no fucking idea what you're doing here.

25:10None.

25:11Zero.

25:13So we are going to stick with what works, and we are going to fucking make sure we got enough

25:17food to feed these fucking dorks.

25:20So get your ass back in there, and you make that fucking spaghetti.

25:29Sidney, sorry about the gun, babe.

25:31I had to get real.

25:40Your car I'm checking.

26:04Your car, check it.

26:08That's good. You see that difference?

26:11Big time. Steam tray.

26:13Yep.

26:14You're right.

26:16You can throw down, huh?

26:18Hey, grab me a fresh parm brie.

26:21Heard, chef.

26:34Let's go.

26:36Let's go.

27:041, 2, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 3, 4, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 10.

27:341, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 10.

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