Seher Pahade

Gulf News

7/9/2025

Transcript

00:00Hi, I'm Seher Paharay and I'm 14 years old. I study in Ambassador School and I am the lead

00:18child warrior from Cactus Foundation India. I have been working in this organization. I've

00:24been a part of it since the age of five and till now I've not left it and I'm continuing my work.

00:31There have been experiences in my life which has increased the amount of work that I do as part

00:37of this organization. So my journey first started when I was five years old and I was raised in an

00:46ecosystem where I was taught not to be a bystander, to be an upstander, to break the

00:54silence, to use my voice for what's right. So we used to tackle topics regarding child sexual abuse,

01:01gender inequality and we used to visit rural areas and schools, teachers, parents, policy makers and

01:10I grew up in such an environment. So at the age of five when the rise of cases of child sexual abuse,

01:18I chose to pledge my birthday by creating 100 bookmarks. The organization was lacking a few

01:27funds. So to help the organization out, I sold those hundred bookmarks and I raised 10,000 rupees

01:34on my own and that's where I fell in love with this entire cause and since then I've not stopped. So I had

01:43my own community. I was part of the organization. Then as years came by, I started to be more active.

01:51So at the age of six, seven, eight, used to have walkathons, which would have like two lakh people

01:57walking for this cause of child sexual abuse to create awareness on why it's wrong and inhumane.

02:05So I used to just do my small part by, you know, just writing on the posters or just yelling that,

02:14you know, break the silence, break the silence early in the morning, uh, going to police stations,

02:19visiting them. So they knew, they know me since a very young age. And since then I have just done my

02:28small part in, you know, you know, trying to make a change. So that time I didn't, I would not take

02:34sessions or anything like that, but just helping clean the office was my way of activism.

02:41Then we shifted to Dubai. The work was ongoing. I never left the organization and I had, uh, I suffered

02:49for, uh, I, I became a survivor of bullying. So for three years I was, uh, being bullied in school

02:56and because of this, uh, entire experience, I chose to use the resources, which I already had,

03:04uh, by the organization. I trained, uh, the organization trained me and I got certified to

03:12become a child warrior. And we had like three, four people with us. So I started, after I got certified,

03:19I started to take online webinars, sessions for parents, most importantly, parents, teachers,

03:25and all the adults. My focus since the start was just the adults cause since, um, I've been bullied.

03:33I think since day one, I've always believed that you can't, uh, blame the child or put that burden

03:40on the child, you know, protect himself or herself. So it's the responsibility of the parents, the adults,

03:46the teachers, uh, the policy makers, all the stakeholders involved to take responsibility

03:51and accountability of their child's protection. So I would just be involved in these sessions,

03:59workshops. I started a podcast known as K plus superheroes in 2020, 2021. And I interviewed, uh,

04:07many, uh, esteemed people like Janine Sanders, Kimberly King, and from India, uh, Rakshit Tanan,

04:13who's a cybersecurity expert. And then the work kept on increasing. I used to all, I still do actually

04:22take sessions for, uh, uh, the, um, speak, uh, sorry, the hearing impaired, um, students in India.

04:30So I, at that point, I actually, when I first took the sessions, I really wanted to help them because

04:36I think because of their vulnerability, they were the most prone to get affected and the most prone to

04:42get bullied. So at that point, I actually, uh, wanted to learn sign language to make sure that the

04:49message reaches them. And, um, till today I go to India every year and I meet the same set of students,

04:57the same set of my peers, um, children younger to me, children older to me, the teachers, the principals,

05:04the policy makers, and I take sessions for them every year. And every year I see that there is some

05:11positive impact. There is some improvement in the lives of everyone there. So right now, uh,

05:18and over the years, like last one, like last year, I also, um, had the honor to conduct a webinar for

05:27SPICAN and it was an online webinar on anti-bullying. It was, uh, I think a very enlightening experience.

05:35There were, uh, many registrations from across the world. So it was a global audience. So I think

05:41that really, uh, empowered me again to keep continuing with my work. Then another great thing

05:48that happened last year was that both of my posters, uh, for poster presentation in the SPICAN conference

05:56that was supposed to happen in Sweden, Uppsala, uh, their abstracts got selected and I got the honor

06:01of presenting the posters there. So I met, um, many people, UN policy makers, people who were,

06:08um, part of the general assembly of the UN. Um, I think for me, I was trained since I was a child,

06:14like the, uh, team Cactus Foundation, we used to, uh, in order to, you know, start conducting sessions

06:20and trainings and workshops. It was not something that I just had to prepare on my own and, you know,

06:25just start doing it because it requires a specific amount of training. So for two years,

06:30I was trained like day and night, I was just into that. I was being trained and then I got certified

06:36with all the skills, like including public speaking, debating, um, research and, you know,

06:43even having that knowledge about the basic things going around in the world. Uh, one of my parts of

06:50the story is that I was, my bullying started online because it was the pandemic and everything. So it started

06:57online. And the worst part is that online, it's very difficult to prove that the bully has done

07:04something really wrong to you. And this has been a rising trend from the pandemic because everything

07:11was online schools, activities, games, our whole world was surrounding the social media, the internet,

07:19and all these social media platforms. So the amount, uh, we used to get calls in our help. We had a

07:25helpline in cactus foundation and we used to get so many calls every day from children, parents, teachers,

07:34who are, you know, concerned about their students, their children, and you know, about themselves that

07:39something like this happened to my child online. And we saw that rise of cases, uh, happening.

07:45And the one common thing was it was all involving cyber bullying. Like it was all on the social

07:52media platforms. It was all, um, you know, on WhatsApp and all these platforms. When cyber bullying

07:58happens online, for example, someone is trolling you or you put a picture on Instagram and you know,

08:03someone writes a very mean, a very cruel comment, then there are like 10 more people writing the same

08:09thing because, you know, they get that fun of it to, you know, harm someone else or because there's such a

08:14huge power imbalance because I don't know who the other person is. So that sense of someone being

08:20anonymous is so large that you won't feel the pain of actually, um, hurting someone. So you're

08:27anonymous. You technically, you can't be caught. I think in the start, um, when my story started of

08:35being bullied, being bullied, I used to just cry every day that there was not this one night that I would

08:42not cry. Like every night I used to sleep, but before that I used to cry so much. And at one point

08:48I realized that this is not how, you know, things can go ahead because it was impacting me in many

08:55ways. Like I was not my, I was not able to find my inner self who I truly was. One of the other

09:02reasons I think I would also say is that I never lost my values. Uh, the values that my parents had

09:07ingrained in me, I, uh, even till today, like no matter what, I hold on to them and I use them as

09:14my armor, as my shield, you know, to help me get back up, to not let grief overwhelm me so much

09:22that, you know, I stopped being who I really am. Um, I think Dubai has provide, provided a more global

09:28audience to me. Like if I know that if I would have just stayed in India and I, you know, would not have

09:35come out of India, it would, um, reach all my Indians, all the Indian folk. But over here,

09:42I know that I have been able to reach people from many nationalities, like not just Indians, but,

09:48uh, uh, you know, Lebanese, um, American, Portuguese, and so many, so many different people. And, uh, the

09:56fact that you're able to reach a larger amount of audience. So there's this satisfaction that you're not

10:02only just helping the people in your own country, but you're also helping people around the world.

10:07So there's some impact being made globally, like not at such a large level, of course not, but at

10:14least in a small scale, but it's going on, it's in its process. So I think if I just continue to,

10:21you know, use these resources that I already have, I think it's a great way, uh, for me to, you know,

10:27reach a more, you know, uh, a more varied audience. Um, for example, there are so many policymakers,

10:36there are historians that come here, there are, uh, mental health professionals that come here,

10:41which I don't think I would have gotten in my hometown. So I get to interact also with many

10:47different kinds of people, uh, people, uh, like on a one-on-one level also. So I get to listen to

10:52their story to know how things or how, um, aspects regarding bullying work in their country also.

11:00And I think I would also like to add that in my entire journey of healing, therapy has played a

11:07huge role. Like at one point in the start, I used to be so overwhelmed with so many emotions that were

11:13going on in my mind. Like there was, uh, feelings of hopelessness, insecurity, isolation.

11:20I was, uh, in despair, I was, um, too hurt and it used to exhaust me. Like I was going through a

11:31stage of depression also at that time and it impacted me a lot. And I think, um, one of the

11:37greatest ways that I have actually come out of it is therapy. So I used to go for therapy and,

11:43you know, like the place, a safe place, place to actually tell what you feel like to, you know,

11:50let down, uh, your hair and just say that, you know, that just, or just cry for that matter really

11:57helps a person out, I believe. And, um, I remember, uh, one of the key moments in my therapy, uh, was that

12:05when my therapist was asking me that, uh, just tell what happened, you know, there was something

12:10happened and something had happened in school and she's like, okay, just tell me what happened.

12:14And I was like, uh, my bully did this to me. My bully did that to me. And I felt so bad that time.

12:19And then she just paused me and she's like, Seher, wait. She's like, why do you keep referring to that

12:25person as your bully? Just take that power back from her. And since then I have realized how I gave

12:33the bully so much power, so much control over my life that it had, you know, negatively impacted me

12:41in so many ways. So I think therapy does play a huge role in healing. And I think if a person is

12:47going through anything that is, you know, harming their mental health or harming their, uh, sanctity

12:54and their peace of mind, I think therapy is the best way to, you know, help yourself and actually love yourself.

13:03And I think if people have a whole bit more than that, I'll be happy.

13:08And I think there's a lot of people that would be helpful in helping with making relationships and

13:11the story. And I think it's very important.

13:12Yeah.

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