Virgin Island - Season 1 Episode 1 - video Dailymotion

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Transcript

00:0012 virgins are heading towards a paradise island to take part in a unique experiment the word

00:14virgin people see it as a joke it's quite upsetting i'm 23 still a virgin i feel like

00:22there's something wrong with me in a world where sex is everywhere my god terrified absolutely

00:30terrified the truth is surprising there are more adult virgins than ever being a young adult in this

00:37day and age it's difficult social media dating apps influencers tv shows porn porn porn porn is

00:44everywhere are you self-conscious about our genitals touching each other now yeah this radical retreat

00:52is offering a very hands-on solution oh yeah she's a miracle worker woohoo oh god yes overseen by a group

01:01of experts yeah like that i like that ready to do anything to help britain's virgins there's the

01:10clitters do you have any questions lose the one thing don't make you nervous they feel he's holding

01:18them back i would love to have sex with you i do feel like there's a barrier between me and sex i want

01:24to lose my virginity it's now or never but when the moment arrives would you like to move to bed

01:32who will be ready i just don't want anyone to touch me to go all the way

01:42here they come can you imagine i scared they are hello hi welcome for the next two weeks welcome my

02:03friend this experimental retreat will be home to 12 young people from all over the uk who desperately

02:13want help welcome so good to meet you everyone's so spiritual i could be a 40 year old virgin i feel

02:21like i'm on a really bad route right now and i need i need something to change hey damn i'm deva hi nice

02:27to meet you do you need a hand yet now uh yes i will cheers i describe myself as nervous i feel i look

02:33like one the glasses perhaps not the best physique so if i can lose my virginity that's one less thing

02:39for people to ridicule me over hi they're here to learn hi would you like a hug um i'm all right thank

02:48you okay from some of the world's most experienced experts on how to embrace intimacy oh hello welcome

02:56thank you i just can't do touch i don't know why i've never had a girlfriend my fear is that i'm

03:03always going to be a virgin like what am i doing wrong i've never been abroad before so so if anything

03:12i've popped my blind virginity yay my social life's non-existent i've got two cats i feed them i look

03:20after them but they attack me but i know they love me in the wrong way but yeah not very social

03:25this is where you'll be staying for the duration of their stay home sweetheart i mean it's not quite

03:36my usual color they'll wear a retreat outfit you know like prisoners who get out on good behavior

03:42to go pick up litter that's sort of the color palette we're working with so they can focus on

03:47themselves not their image basic but comfy i would like to walk away from the island with more self

03:55confidence because when you see a lot of celebrities on instagram they they just have everything so

04:02perfect comparing myself to people online disrupted my self-esteem and it's something that i've been

04:08struggling with for so long it is so easy to say don't worry about the way you look in the mirror but

04:15then it is so hard to put that into action i think once i'm more content with myself i will then be

04:22able to live life and losing my virginity would probably be my final goal

04:36this is going to be your hangout zone oh that looks fantastic it's beautiful

04:41i can't get over how clear the water is before the course begins the group have a chance to get

04:48to know each other at the hangout oh hello hey guys you okay i'm taylor nice to meet you nice to meet

04:58you i am bisexual i do know what i'm interested in but with boys and girls the only experience i've had

05:05been negative you kind of feel like it's just you who's having this issue and nobody else is

05:12is that quite isolating yeah it's very isolating yeah

05:20yeah sorry

05:23oh hello all right i'm tom i'm zach zach nice to meet you zach how are you okay very good yeah

05:29i went to university for three years but i was depressed in many ways by the fact that i'm a

05:38virgin i didn't get the degree i should have got never since i've been stuck doing jobs that i never

05:45really wanted to do i'm tired of the person that i've become it can't go on

05:53the group sessions are where most of the touch stuff is going to be done the thing i'm dreading

06:01is hugging did you not hug at the the start nope are you having any of them i i shut the hands i don't

06:06do i don't do hugs yeah shut the hand oh and i would have been like no watch them in the water

06:10no i don't hug it it's the um therapy itself that scares me now i'm just getting more and more tense

06:17the virgins are clearly nervous about what lies ahead and that's understandable it's a course like

06:25no other okay good set up by groundbreaking sex therapists celeste and danielle eyes closed

06:33what's gonna happen on this island is mind-blowing breathe one in eight people at age 26 are still

06:41virgins in the uk this is happening all over the world even the french are having less sex

06:48with a team of international sex coaches trained in different touch therapies

06:55they'll help the group try to overcome their worries around virginity

07:00tucked away on the island a sexy therapy spaces and bedrooms where they can practice the art of intimacy

07:10you can't really learn how to play guitar from a book and you can't learn how to give and receive

07:15pleasure by just talking about it sometimes the only way to help someone is to get physical

07:23they don't know it yet but each phase of the course will push them to their very limits

07:28as they take their first steps to sexual confidence

07:36it feels so good

07:41let's go

07:41it's a process that starts now

07:47they're waiting for us of course with the foundation of all sexual attraction

07:52we're so excited to start our workshops today and the first phase of this course is desire

08:08and letting shame go shame is very much attached to desire and turn ons and so much of shame

08:16melts away when people come together and start to talk about sex each of you need to have a space and

08:22a pillow the first exercise will give celeste and danielle a clear idea of who in the group is open to desire

08:30wonderful start by closing your eyes and who may be resistant just listening to my voice

08:39i'm going to start by taking a nice deep breath

08:42i'm going to make lots of noise too by the way this may not be most people's idea of sex

08:53but for virgins celeste and danielle's research shows it's a great way to tune into your body

09:00breathwork is very powerful we use breath to help people expand on sensations release emotions so breath is

09:10key i'm going to up the speed of the breath

09:20okay who was willing to make sound with me

09:26some are throwing themselves in wonderful you're doing it i love it good job

09:34ah but others seem more skeptical and for touch phobic jason

09:42it's more than he can handle

09:47it's amazing how much rest we need to take to warm up our body to feel more and experience more

09:54and get it in yeah check your feet yeah i love this dance

10:02with the next breath we're going to raise our hands

10:10wonderful it's great okay celeste and danielle move on to the next exercise start by pairing up

10:17to teach them that before saying yes it's okay to say no all right so this exercise is about saying no

10:26so one of you is going to ask the other person for three things and then the other person is going to say no

10:32we need people to feel safe if people don't feel safe they won't feel safe to open up and start and

10:50try new things can i go on your golf cart absolutely not no can i i don't know what to say when i'm

10:56around a member of opposite sex i'm very awkward can i point you in the face no i tend to say things

11:04without thinking can i throw you in the seat no no i wish it was different i'd love to be able to

11:10speak to a girl keep a conversation and go on a date that's my kind of dream can i feed you to a lion

11:19one more violent take a seat yeah just sit and relax the level of inexperience is clear

11:29so celeste and danielle decide to test how the group reacts to intense intimacy i want to give

11:35you a little demo of what you might get to tease your appetite a whole bit andre we call it up against

11:44the wall

12:04witnessing sexual desire for most of this group is clearly unsettling

12:14so let yourself have any feelings you want to laugh laugh if you want to cry cry it's all okay

12:42this big insecurity that i have when it comes to my looks means i can't imagine that someone would

12:49want to be with me in any way where you're so stuck in this mindset that someone would be

12:55ashamed to walk down the street with you it's like a never-ending cycle like a roundabout that doesn't

13:01stop when i was growing up i would always get labeled as the duff which is designated ugly fat friend

13:08so i would always believe that i was ugly so i think there's a lot that i need to work on

13:19all right we're going to come in a circle big round of applause

13:25thank you all bye bye

13:32what i got myself into i feel like i'm in a cult

13:37i'd be lying if i said it wasn't weird it seemed cultish it just seems like they've got this island

13:42where they live in a completely different world the up against the wall was interesting by the end

13:49i'd love to be able to do that i could not look after he kicked our legs apart that was too aggressive

13:55i think that's actually the most intimate i've ever seen people in front of you

14:02i don't think i was fully ready for that

14:05because i'm so shut off to that sort of world i've never felt that sort of emotion i've walked

14:11away feeling really overwhelmed i'm a bit like brain boggled at the minute the course has just begun

14:18and so far they've only had a taste of the unconventional methods ahead the next workshop

14:23may be tougher and i may actually not be ready for that

14:26but i think that's what i think that's what i think that's what i think that's what i think

14:39do you reckon there's any dead bodies in the water

14:43it's halfway through day one on virgin island

14:47coming out as a virgin is very difficult because i think in this day and age people see it as such like

14:52a negative for men we we hide it if you're a virgin because mostly because how other men will see

15:00them 100 yeah so i told someone in our office that i'm a virgin and everyone who comes in they tell

15:05everyone i wish i was like smart to just say yeah i've had lots of the sex

15:15people have so much shame about being a virgin i think between rom-coms and porn there's so much

15:21perfectionism that's put out there like it's so much pressure that they're just terrified to try

15:27anything at all that's where we come in

15:32each step of the way the experts will share notes with each other about the group

15:38when you did the up against the wall exercise she started crying and after an emotional reaction

15:43during this morning's workshop their first concern is emma i could see her face she was like really

15:50feeling it really intense it was too much for her to see it really she was like picturing herself

15:55in the situation and she got very overwhelmed like that was my sense

16:01every afternoon there are one-on-one sessions across the island

16:06and first the experts want emma to explore her boundaries around intimacy with thomas

16:11going 23 years being single i've never had the experience of someone romantically touching me

16:20if i ever got presented with the situation of sex i would worry that

16:25i could have a panic attack hello hello you okay i've never masturbated

16:30and i've never experienced an orgasm no there's no way that i could experience one other thing

16:42i want to propose you a little game around touch okay um you just asked for the kind of touch you

16:47really like what would make you happy to receive it's not something that i'm like oh i really wish

16:59someone would touch me john i don't think yeah okay um maybe yeah maybe you could touch my knee okay

17:07you could yeah thank you do you want to try somewhere else where you feel that might be more like

17:21involved maybe if you try upper thigh

17:25when it gets to up this bit it gets a little bit like oh god like what's gonna happen sort of

17:38thing you it feels like you mean you have some fear i feel like if you went around here i probably would

17:46have maybe had a panic attack

17:48i did as much as i could and i pushed myself to my limits for the level that i'm currently at but

17:57i don't think i was really ready for it i i feel quite drained i feel a bit upset

18:05well thank you so much and yeah we'll just come with you i feel she's kind of a bit stuck

18:13okay thank you see you again take care see you later goodbye she was going through it but really

18:19one toe at a time one step at a time emma's struggling hello charlotte do you want a hug no i'm all right

18:29thank you and as some of the others experience their first taste of touch therapy what's coming up for

18:35you i know it's a simple thing but like i feel like i'm doing a bad job

18:40it's clear emma's not the only one finding it difficult

18:46yeah right or close yeah yeah i love 100 how intimate would you describe it yeah probably like

18:5190 i think that's what we call it don't step backwards please

19:01but booking the trend is zach oh come on in i'm so excited as well after throwing himself into the

19:08first workshop the experts want to test how far zach is ready to go wow i've always wanted to be

19:15accepted i've always wanted to be liked by others it's something i felt i haven't had

19:20at many points in my life i know you feel also like a failure around sexuality

19:25right time yeah yeah it's just it's so hard to let go of that of course i don't know if i can

19:31just have a tissue please wipe these away sex was a taboo my family never even to this day talks

19:44about it i grew up seeing my dad only once a week and he never talked about it so i can't get tips or

19:52ask someone hey how do i attract a woman it feels like i should have figured that all that out a long

19:58time ago also i don't feel attractive or handsome um i assume the way that other people see me

20:10it's negative i think generally

20:14i want to play a fantasy with you really

20:19danielle believes her methods can give zach the confidence he needs

20:23that's how close that's all right yeah but it's not like any therapy he may have seen before

20:33i'm just gonna kiss you gently and i want you to like see if you can really take it in okay

20:49how does that feel

21:09oh now i start to feel your arousal oh my god this is so sexy

21:16her hands-on technique works by giving zach a physical experience i just love how you bite

21:22your lip you're doing a form of somatic or touch therapy

21:33somatic therapy believes that just talking with someone is not going to be sufficient

21:38and we really need to help people through the body in order to really create some sort of change

21:44so thank you thank you

21:51no one's ever said that i'm sexy no one i'm feeling fuzzy all over in that session alone i've done things

22:01that i've been craving for a long time you're going conquering the world i'm making tons of progress

22:07back in the hangout the others are keen to find out more

22:15where have you been the one-to-one session was it good it's pretty intense oh neck kissing

22:21do you need a minute yeah

22:28the first day at the retreat has shown just how many issues the group has around sex shame and intimacy

22:37and as the sun sets on the island

22:38i see them staring at us oh i can just sense dread celeste and danielle have one last exercise hello

22:51so you each brought an item that is about letting go of some piece of shame that you're ready to be

22:56done with and we can't wait to hear your stories they'll each share a story that represents a past failure

23:04in the hope that they can move on i'll go

23:13my items about my first year uni um event event feelings for my fat mate um so i decided to get

23:20her a necklace um but before i could give it to her she made it very clear we were never going to be

23:26anything um i didn't handle the rejection too well and i just beat myself up every day about it in terms

23:33of how i ended things with her

23:40it's my first ever rubik's cube and the way i treat a lot of relationships as a puzzle i think that gets in

23:48the way this is a gift that one of my well my only ex got me i didn't really think it meant

23:56that much and i should have thrown it out a while ago

24:02this is a hoodie from a time in my life when i i just felt like really worthless and i didn't see a

24:11future for myself this is actually a diary from one of my only kind of dating relationships that i

24:22felt was too much for me at the time and um it's something that we need to go off

24:27my one's a bit more literal i have expired condoms

24:40my mate gave these to me before a house party and he said you're definitely going to need these

24:45um i didn't i think if anything signifies sexual failure it's having condoms go out of date

24:49so mine is a childhood photo i felt quite difficult to express emotions while i was this

25:00age i was more of a people pleaser into the point where i'd end up really damaging myself because i was

25:07more worried about their feelings rather than my own but i want to let go of the people pleasing

25:13aspects if you don't love yourself how the hell are you going to love anyone else thank you so much

25:21you're amazing okay well you made us cry this was really deep and really meaningful

25:28and we're just so proud of you amazed actually amazed yeah

25:32how did you feel i wanted to you know say goodbye to it it's like pulling a band-aid off

25:46i walked into it a bit skeptical on how i was gonna feel i'm trying to open myself up to learning

25:53new things but i don't know whether i've achieved a lot and i'm not looking forward to what tomorrow may

26:00hold jeez louise it is an intense day a long day tensions are only going to get higher

26:18stormy night last night stormy weather i think means upheaval change

26:24morning morning guys it's day two at the retreat smoothie it's strawberry milk

26:35the morning after last night's shame exercise how are you guys feeling about the presentation last

26:40night i wasn't expecting to be quite as emotional yeah i didn't really enjoy it

26:47now the experts hope the next exercise will move from shame back to desire we want to see what

26:56motivates them around sex and there's nothing more explicit than writing your erotic story

27:04the storm clouds are circling but it's not just the weather the group are bracing themselves for

27:09okay your next exercise right your hottest sexual fantasy okay oh my it's a fantasy so let yourself go

27:28with it don't hold back okay ciao ciao wonderful to see you bye oh my god did she say hottest or hardest

27:38hottest oh blind cross i want to go inside is anyone feeling a bit sick about writing this

27:46i certainly expect 12 virgins to struggle with writing an erotic story i don't think they will

27:52have much of a clue about what they want in terms of sexuality but you know we shall see

27:57this needs to have backing music over and it's like

28:00uh

28:04celeste and danielle want to test how in touch they are with their desires

28:11so far i've got a couple of uh openings it was a dark and stormy night obviously a classic

28:17confident after his one-on-one session with danielle yesterday zach is quick off the mark

28:23Never before has he been so surprised, is my other one.

28:28I think I'll try that. Yeah.

28:33But for others, revealing their innermost desires doesn't come easy.

28:38I've never read that.

28:41I'm not erotic, so I have no idea how to write.

28:43Like, right now I'm writing, I've bought a lottery ticket.

28:47It's hard to say what my dream would be in a sexual manner

28:50when I haven't really been open to having a sexual manner, if that makes sense.

28:57I'm trying to open myself up to learning new things,

29:01but it's difficult to do that when you're not happy with yourself.

29:08I haven't read anything.

29:10I am a senior parliamentary researcher for an MP in Parliament.

29:16I deal with the public, and I'm actually in a public speakers club.

29:19I'm perfectly comfortable doing that.

29:21But I thought having sex with just one person,

29:23for whatever reason, that just really is quite frightening.

29:26God, you've written a novel.

29:27Once you get started, it's a lot easier.

29:29Right, once you've got an idea.

29:30I don't even know how I'd write more on the page, like, to ask you.

29:33Just pick a subject and just start from there, honestly.

29:37Yeah, I suppose.

29:37And then just make it real sexy.

29:40Right?

29:40Oh, that's not me.

29:41Whatever floats your boat, you know.

29:43You're way more confident than I am.

29:45Yeah, I just, this, yeah, it's quite scary.

29:47Oh, God, we're in the amphitheatre.

29:55Stories written, the experts will watch to see who's embracing...

30:00Welcome back, everyone.

30:02Morning.

30:03..and who's hiding their true desires.

30:05So, we're going to invite you to share your fantasy with us.

30:14I'm not ready for this.

30:16Anyone want to volunteer to go first?

30:20Take the leap.

30:22It can be so empowering.

30:23I'll go first, yeah.

30:28Yay!

30:32So, my fantasy.

30:34It starts with me walking toward my castle.

30:37As I enter, I am greeted by Sofia Vergara,

30:40the Latino lady from Modern Family.

30:42She would say how great my castle is

30:44and how my wife is a lucky lady.

30:46I would then proceed to my master bedroom

30:48due to hearing my name being called by an almost angelic voice.

30:51My wife, brackets, not married

30:53as I don't want to lose the castle in a divorce.

30:56The sex is unbelievable

30:58and the best way to describe it

30:59is for you to imagine your very own fantasy

31:01and multiply the pleasure by ten.

31:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

31:04As more of the group step up...

31:10We've reached a bit of land, covered in rocks.

31:12Fuck, there's our luggage.

31:14Hope she doesn't find my cum socks.

31:15LAUGHTER

31:15Some are struggling to reveal their desires.

31:19Instead, they're hiding behind humour.

31:23I didn't even get a chance to write anything

31:25cos I'd write this block.

31:26But, you know, I thought about it

31:27and I'd say I'd be with either Angelina Jolie

31:29or Anne Hathaway watching Villa in the Champions League.

31:31You know, she'd be just wearing a Villa top

31:32and that'd be that.

31:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

31:34Others...

31:37A sigh, a kiss, hot air against skin,

31:39fingers dancing across one another.

31:41The both of us would enjoy the experience fully.

31:44..seem happier to share their real fantasies and feelings.

31:47Aphrodite requires tributes made to her,

31:51an act of physical love,

31:53by a devoted and naive nymph.

31:56We'd head back to my house

31:58and she'd sort of lead me upstairs.

32:01You know, I'd pick her up,

32:02take her down on the bed,

32:05and I'd probably do something for her sex.

32:07I don't know what I'm doing.

32:08LAUGHTER

32:08We'd just naturally start kissing

32:11and she'd, like, bite my lip, pull down on it.

32:15Um, yeah, that's what it would be like.

32:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

32:20Let's go.

32:22Yay!

32:22Go on, Zach!

32:23But it's Zach who has the most explicit story of all.

32:27The shadow descended from the top of the hill,

32:30upon which stood a towering warrior.

32:33He removed his helmet to expose his fiery hair.

32:36A maiden stood forth.

32:38Remove your sandals, she commanded.

32:40Obligingly, he knelt down.

32:42In that moment, she lifted her skirt

32:43and forced his head between her knees.

32:45She let out a moan of pure ecstasy.

32:48She removed her dress,

32:49exposing her breasts and naked body.

32:51The warrior gented her many times,

32:53the bodies becoming one.

32:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

32:55That's just the first chapter.

33:00Anyone else feeling brave?

33:03OK.

33:04Yesterday's session with Thomas

33:06revealed the extent of Emma's issues around intimacy.

33:08But her erotic story could offer more insight.

33:12HE SIGHS

33:13OK.

33:17MUSIC PLAYS

33:18My ideal fantasy

33:21would be a person coming into my life,

33:24unexpected...

33:25MUSIC PLAYS

33:27..a genuine, honest, supportive and kind male,

33:34with no expectation of me,

33:36who has a genuine, big heart,

33:38a love for the world,

33:40to treat others how we wish to be treated,

33:42and to be happy and have the opportunity to grow together.

33:45Yay!

33:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

33:47You were fantastic.

33:50Really amazing, right, Celeste?

33:52That was phenomenal.

33:53FENOMENAL!

33:55Gather your stuff.

33:57Thank you so much.

33:59Nice to meet you.

34:02I really like Charles.

34:03When I'm awkward, I'm trying to make jokes.

34:06My story wasn't very sexual.

34:09It's how I deal with awkward situations

34:10and things that I don't really know what to do.

34:12It's just a defence mechanism for me.

34:14Everyone seemed to laugh at it and like it,

34:16so it went better than I thought.

34:19I felt really good, actually.

34:21The story I was telling showed a lot about myself,

34:24and, you know, I could see what experiences I want to have now.

34:28It was actually a little bit of a confidence boost,

34:31pushing myself and having the courage

34:33to go up there and do that sort of thing.

34:37It made me feel a lot better afterwards.

34:42A lot of people say to me,

34:43oh, you look young.

34:44I think I'm, like, 18, 19, 20.

34:46But then I always say, oh, it's because I never had a boyfriend,

34:49so I haven't been stressed out.

34:51You've never had a boyfriend?

34:52No, no.

34:55After a successful workshop,

34:57the dynamics between the girls and boys seem to be shifting.

35:02You definitely seem like one of the most confident

35:04out of all of us, I'd say.

35:06I've worked very hard to be this confident.

35:10I, er...

35:11I think you're really pretty.

35:14Mm-hm.

35:16So, I don't want to be in the sun for too long.

35:19OK.

35:19It was nice having that chat with you.

35:23Do you think Ben likes me?

35:25I've not noticed it being enough of you or anyone else.

35:28No, it's just...

35:28I think he likes me, likes me.

35:30Oh, like, that way?

35:31Oh, OK.

35:32Yeah.

35:32I don't know.

35:34While sparks fly between Ben and Charlotte,

35:39not everyone is finding island life quite so easy.

35:46I think Jason needs a lot of, like, basic,

35:48this is how you do this, this is how you do this.

35:50It's just, it's going to take time for him to feel the empowerment

35:53around touching other people, I think.

35:56Weirdly enough, my sex education,

35:59because I'd moved to school, I'd missed the sex ed week.

36:02So, basically, safe parks, my sex education.

36:06I've never touched a condom.

36:07The only thing I could know about women's and that, I mean, stuff would be on from TV and the internet, that kind of thing.

36:13If it was a game, I'm level one.

36:15That's interesting.

36:17I'd love to be able to level up, in a way.

36:19Sound like a virgin explaining that.

36:21Oh, God.

36:23Come on in.

36:23So, the experts have planned a session on the basics of touch with Celeste.

36:29I've never really been able to be a touchy-feely person.

36:32Yeah.

36:32My family's like that, though.

36:34Like, my mum, she's never been a touchy, huggy person.

36:36But I know she loves me, I love her, but we can't do hugs.

36:39It's just not in our nature.

36:40I want to try putting my hand on top of your hand and see how that feels more...

36:46More intimate.

36:47Yeah, exactly.

36:48So, I could scooch to you.

36:50After this morning's workshop, Celeste wants to learn more about the real Jason behind the humour.

36:55Let's take some steps, you know?

36:57Yeah.

36:58And we can see, like, do you like putting your hand on mine?

37:00Do you like me putting my hand on yours, for example?

37:03So, you want to start with, like, just...

37:04Do it.

37:04Yeah, just put it on there.

37:05Like that.

37:06Yeah.

37:07Is it okay?

37:08Like, does the sensation feel good?

37:10It's okay.

37:11Yeah.

37:12Yeah.

37:12All right.

37:13Okay.

37:14So, can we try it where I put my hand on your hand?

37:16Okay, yeah.

37:16Hmm.

37:20Okay.

37:22I feel like this is happening to me.

37:24It's like...

37:24A little overwhelming.

37:26Yeah.

37:27Yeah.

37:28Feeling uncomfortable receiving touch.

37:31When I work in, like, offices and stuff, I'm a bit worried I'm a bit too firm with handshakes.

37:35Mm-hmm.

37:36Jason takes matters into his own hands.

37:38All right.

37:41Like that.

37:43That feels good.

37:44Is that okay?

37:46I would even, like, let our palms touch a little bit more.

37:50Okay.

37:51Like that.

37:53Do you feel, like, more like that kind of touch?

37:55Yeah.

37:55On safer territory.

37:57I feel so limp.

37:59You can give a little bit more pressure.

38:00One more?

38:00Yeah, let's do one more.

38:02Jason's flying.

38:03Like that.

38:03That was beautiful.

38:06Success.

38:07I was shitting myself because I had no idea what I was in for.

38:10All right.

38:11All right.

38:12But I think it's just getting more intimate.

38:14To touch.

38:15I want to be improved.

38:16I want to be cured.

38:18Who wants a butt plug?

38:28I don't want to touch it.

38:30I don't think this has been inside.

38:31I don't know if it's been inside anyone.

38:33To encourage the group to broaden their sexual horizons.

38:37A couple more butt plugs.

38:38I could be like Wolverine.

38:40The experts have handed over a box of sex toys.

38:43Oh, these are fun.

38:46If I took your butt and you fart enough,

38:48could you actually, like, blow it out?

38:51And left them to explore.

38:53Who wants to be tired of?

38:55Go on, then.

38:56You know you'd be in a bed and this would be tight to, like, a thingy?

38:59It just helped reinforce for me,

39:01when I have sex, it's going to be vanilla.

39:03It's vanilla sex with me.

39:05I'm going to leave you like that now.

39:07Charlotte!

39:12Who wants the feather?

39:13Yeah.

39:15How does it feel?

39:17It's making me feel like being struck by chicken.

39:19Chicken.

39:20I want to lose my virginity on the retreat.

39:24Absolutely.

39:26All of the shame and the self-criticisms that come being a virgin,

39:30my hope would be that afterwards,

39:32that would be gone,

39:33because you're not anymore.

39:34You don't have to put this label on yourself anymore.

39:41Hello.

39:42Hello.

39:43So far, Zach is adapting quickly to the course.

39:46Comfortable with hugs?

39:47Absolutely, yeah.

39:48Yeah, yeah.

39:48Zach is starting to stand taller.

39:52He's more confident.

39:53Please have a seat.

39:54And after our last session,

39:57I think he's ready for most advanced therapy.

40:01Working with a surrogate partner.

40:04A highly trained therapist able to have sex with a client.

40:07Today, I'm here to give you the introduction into surrogate partner therapy,

40:13what my role is, what Kat's role is,

40:16and, you know, a little bit about how this process works.

40:20Surrogate partner therapy has been around for quite a while,

40:24and it involved a therapist, a client, and a surrogate partner.

40:29It starts pretty slow with clothes-on embodiment exercises,

40:32just while we're kind of, like, getting used to each other,

40:34and I can learn what you like, and vice versa.

40:37The surrogate is helping them explore what it feels like

40:41to take your clothes off with someone,

40:43what it feels like to touch someone in an erotic way,

40:47and can go all the way to a full sexual experience.

40:52As you're comfortable with,

40:53we'll move to more organic encounters.

40:56Kissing, oral intercourse.

40:58It will eventually feel like just practicing different sexual skills.

41:02That's the gist, yeah.

41:03Cool.

41:04Yeah.

41:04Got it.

41:06This is a container for you to practice a relationship,

41:09and so I am a licensed mental health clinician.

41:14You will be working with me with regards to, like,

41:17any emotions that come up, and that's, like, my side of the street.

41:20Got it.

41:21I'm going to let the two of you have the remainder of the session.

41:23All right, I will see you guys soon.

41:25Take care.

41:26Bye.

41:28Is there anything you want to talk about

41:30before we move to some body work?

41:34I don't think so, no.

41:35Okay.

41:35I'm good.

41:36I'm going to have you lie down.

41:37Mm-hmm.

41:39So I'm going to touch you first,

41:41and I'm only going to touch your arm,

41:43and I'm going to use my hands,

41:45my arms, my face, my face, and my hair, if that's okay.

41:48Yeah.

41:53I think it's really important to teach people how to have sex,

41:58teaching, like, really basic relationship skills.

42:02When clothes come off, things get more erotic.

42:06Helping people be human again.

42:08It makes me want to do my job.

42:13While sex is the ultimate aim,

42:16Zach must build a connection with Kat before getting to that level.

42:18How was that?

42:30It was good.

42:31I was tingly.

42:32Very good away.

42:33Yeah.

42:34Are you ready to switch?

42:36Mm-hmm.

42:36Yeah.

42:36Let's go.

42:37A surrogate partner bond.

42:49And really make sure you're feeling what feels good.

42:55Takes time to nurture, like any relationship.

43:05Okay, we're done.

43:06You're done?

43:07Yeah, yeah.

43:11What came up just then that made you feel like stopping?

43:16I think, you know, touching your arm is great.

43:18It feels amazing.

43:20It's just, obviously, I want more.

43:22Ah, okay.

43:22But it's a process.

43:24You know, like, that I wouldn't do more than that

43:25on a first session with anybody.

43:27Yeah.

43:28The speed of the surrogate program

43:30doesn't seem to be moving fast enough for Zach.

43:32So how far are you wanting to go

43:34with surrogate partner therapy?

43:36I would like to go all the way.

43:37I would love to have sex with you.

43:39You know, that's why I came here, really.

43:41Yeah.

43:42It's hard to connect with someone you just met,

43:44telling you, hey, I'm your surrogate.

43:46You will be eventually, maybe,

43:48if you want, having sex with me.

43:49Okay, so let's stand up.

43:52Let's just shake it up.

43:55But I do think I'll be able to lose my virginity.

43:58You know, have sex with Kat, eventually.

44:01I would like to.

44:02How was it?

44:08Yeah, so we were doing arm-touching, like, it was intense.

44:11Like, I didn't realise, like,

44:12I would have that strong of a reaction, to be honest.

44:15You know, maybe I'll lose my virginity very soon.

44:18But, yeah, very positive experience, I think.

44:25Ready, guys?

44:26Oh, we're down here with a big fire.

44:29After two days at the retreat,

44:31the first phase of the course is drawing to a close.

44:35Shame bonfire is a culmination of everything

44:38that we've done in the first phase.

44:41It's a chance for them to get rid of their shame items

44:44from yesterday and move on.

44:50We're going to call you up one at a time

44:52to let these old stories about yourself

44:55and these old ways of being and thinking go.

44:58And I am so delighted for you.

45:01Okay.

45:03Are you ready to let it go?

45:05Yes.

45:06Let it go!

45:08Let it go!

45:09Let it go!

45:11Woo!

45:13Let it go!

45:14The act of burning something is the act of letting go

45:17and saying, I can change now.

45:20Ready?

45:21Let it go!

45:22It felt really good to be able to release all my feelings

45:26into the fire.

45:27I feel a lot more confident.

45:29It's like a whole refresh of emotions.

45:33Let it go!

45:34Let it go!

45:36Let it go!

45:38I was stuck in a rut.

45:39I was stuck in a way of thinking,

45:41and I think this is my opportunity now

45:43to really change that.

45:47I'm keen to fill in more of the gaps.

45:49Woo-hoo!

45:50Let it go!

45:54Next time...

45:55You're quite attractive, so I mean, you know...

45:57Things heat up on the touch phase of the cast.

45:59There's another animal here with you on this rug.

46:05Oh!

46:07It was like watching a portal.

46:09Oh!

46:09As emotions bubble over...

46:11I just don't want anyone to touch me.

46:14I just have one minute.

46:18When things turn physical...

46:21I can't touch you, right?

46:22You can't.

46:22Yeah.

46:23Oh, yeah.

46:47Yeah.

46:48Transcription by CastingWords

Virgin Island - Season 1 Episode 1

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