- 03/07/2025
Not even a shark fin in the bathtub is enough to convince people (Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss) that their inherited house is haunted.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30Oh, my God.
00:01:00Oh, my God.
00:01:30Oh, my God.
00:02:00Oh, my God.
00:02:30Where is that real estate lady?
00:02:35She probably meant four o'clock in the afternoon.
00:02:37Four o'clock in the afternoon?
00:02:39When does she sleep?
00:02:41It's what we call a fixer-upper.
00:02:48Tell me, are we convenient to the school here?
00:02:52Oh, yes.
00:02:52The school is just two blocks away.
00:02:54And young children will walk past here regularly.
00:02:57Do you two have children?
00:02:59As often as we can.
00:03:02Waldemar?
00:03:05Ask normal questions.
00:03:07We're supposed to be typical people looking for a home.
00:03:10I am looking for a way into this house.
00:03:13You ask normal questions.
00:03:18Tell me, what does the building code say about filling the basement with earth?
00:03:24Well, um, it is a finished basement.
00:03:28Not yet it isn't.
00:03:30Oh, I do love this house.
00:03:35Um, there may be one small problem.
00:03:37It doesn't matter what it costs.
00:03:38Oh, it's not a matter of cost.
00:03:40We must get into this house.
00:03:41We've looked for such a long time.
00:03:43A very, very long time.
00:03:45For just this house.
00:03:47Well, you see, a few days ago, right after you called me...
00:03:52The disposition of which shall be entrusted to my friend and attorney, T. Armstrong Sedgwick.
00:03:57You know, I don't understand it.
00:04:00Whenever I asked him for anything, he always said, leave it to me.
00:04:03So I figured he'd leave something to me.
00:04:05And to my sister, Lucille, who could always be counted on to borrow anything I had and not return it,
00:04:14I leave 3,000 overdue library books.
00:04:18That's all?
00:04:19That's all I get for being his sister all these years?
00:04:25He does have one more thing for you.
00:04:35After what everybody else has gotten, I think we're better off. He forgot us.
00:04:39And to my nephew, John, and his wife, Mary, I leave my vast estate in Erie, Pennsylvania.
00:04:48No!
00:04:49John, our own house!
00:04:51I played in that house when I was a little boy with all its surrounding land.
00:04:57We'll have a garden.
00:04:58Now we don't have to be afraid to let the children go out and play.
00:05:02That house is mine.
00:05:03My attorney shall inform John and Mary of the curse on the house.
00:05:09Curse?
00:05:09What curse?
00:05:11Well, as I understand it...
00:05:13We've inherited a house with a curse.
00:05:24We do not intend to lose this house.
00:05:27How about this one? There was a young girl from Hong Kong.
00:05:29Billy, say goodbye to the nice truck driver.
00:05:31Bye.
00:05:33Oh, it's wonderful.
00:05:36It's a wonderful house.
00:05:41Mary, that's not the house.
00:05:50This is the house?
00:05:52We're going to love it here.
00:05:53I feel it in my bones.
00:05:54Come on.
00:05:55It's what we call a fixer-upper.
00:06:05It's what we call home.
00:06:11I'm sure they won't stay very long.
00:06:13I'm sure they won't.
00:06:14I know they won't.
00:06:20Oh, it even smells like Uncle Henry's house.
00:06:23It's not going to smell like this much longer.
00:06:25I'll be in college before you get rid of this smell.
00:06:29Turn on the lights.
00:06:30Maybe Uncle Henry didn't pay his electric bill.
00:06:39I think this place is creepy.
00:06:41All it needs is a little cleaning up.
00:06:43Where's Rover?
00:06:47Rover?
00:06:48Rover?
00:06:50Come on, boys.
00:06:54Rover?
00:06:58I wonder what got into Rover.
00:07:01It's this place.
00:07:02It's creepy.
00:07:04Billy, why don't you go out and bring Rover in?
00:07:06Billy?
00:07:06Billy?
00:07:08Billy?
00:07:13Billy?
00:07:14Billy?
00:07:16Billy?
00:07:18Billy?
00:07:22He's probably just hiding.
00:07:23Remember when we went to Disneyland and he hid inside the door for two hours?
00:07:30Billy, if you're hiding inside a big dog again...
00:07:34I'm not staying here alone.
00:08:04It's just hanging out here.
00:08:24What?
00:08:26This place is so creepy.
00:08:28Who screamed?
00:08:29I heard her scream.
00:08:29Where have you been?
00:08:31Fixing the fuse box.
00:08:32you guys don't want to send me away to boarding school or something do you
00:08:38everything will be just fine you'll be amazed what some nice curtains will do to this house
00:08:44i'm just worried about what this house is going to do to me
00:08:50they they haven't found it yet you can't be too sure i i of all people i
00:09:02can't be too sure of course i can be sure they haven't found it because we have to find it
00:09:09it started out to be a human just like any other but before it was over millicent heckshaw would
00:09:16find herself and was an innocent teenage girl she had no idea that the terrible events building
00:09:22around her would is this what you call looking up the tv i've tried every channel and all i get is
00:09:28it'll be all right once the storm is over
00:09:40there's a train leaving from that station and its destination is
00:09:52cincinnati ohio
00:09:54what storm
00:10:02mary come here look at this
00:10:27it's some kind of a note
00:10:32it's from uncle henry before he died don't open the book
00:10:41what book he doesn't say
00:10:45i don't see any book
00:10:49maybe it's a cookbook
00:11:02why wouldn't you want us to open a cookbook
00:11:05well you know how i am about my apple turnover recipe
00:11:09i don't know how i am about my family
00:11:19i have a chance so i have a chance so i try to read that
00:11:26and i will have a chance so i will have a chance so i will have a chance so i will leave
00:11:29You're going to be very happy here.
00:11:53I'm so glad we're here in our very own house.
00:11:56Isn't it about time to go to bed?
00:11:59I've got all the dishes to do.
00:12:03We'll still be here in the morning.
00:12:05I'm so glad we're here in the morning.
00:12:09I'm so glad we're here in the morning.
00:12:13Well, they've been here a whole day.
00:12:22Well, they've been here a whole day.
00:12:38They've got to be ready to sell it by now.
00:12:40It wouldn't be nice to wake you, but maybe somebody's up around the side.
00:12:54Maybe I'll come back later.
00:13:04Not yet.
00:13:06What was that?
00:13:19Must have been an owl.
00:13:21You're right.
00:13:29It was an owl.
00:13:30It was an owl.
00:13:31It was an owl.
00:13:32It was an owl.
00:13:33It was an owl.
00:13:34It was an owl.
00:13:35It was an owl.
00:13:36It was an owl.
00:13:37It was an owl.
00:13:38It was an owl.
00:13:39It was an owl.
00:13:40It was an owl.
00:13:41It was an owl.
00:13:42It was an owl.
00:13:43It was an owl.
00:13:44It was an owl.
00:13:45It was an owl.
00:13:46It was an owl.
00:13:47It was an owl.
00:13:48Damn owls.
00:14:06Oops.
00:14:18There's a monster in here.
00:14:22Calm down.
00:14:23You've just had a nightmare.
00:14:24Come on.
00:14:25Everything's gonna be all right.
00:14:26Except for the monster.
00:14:27Billy, Billy, there's no monster here.
00:14:29There is.
00:14:30He's nine feet tall.
00:14:31He has four arms, huge eyes on the top of his head and huge teeth.
00:14:34Billy, act your age.
00:14:35I am acting right.
00:14:36You're just used to be acting like a grown-up.
00:14:38I'm ten years old and there's a monster in here.
00:14:41Billy, there's no monster here.
00:14:43Look, do you see a monster in this room?
00:14:46I can't believe that I'm standing here in the middle of the night arguing with a ten-year-old
00:14:51kid about the existence of monsters.
00:14:54Now just calm down and go to sleep.
00:14:57Everything will be fine in the morning.
00:14:58Except for me.
00:14:59I'll be a faded memory in the morning.
00:15:01I bet you were reading scary books again before you went to bed.
00:15:04Hi.
00:15:07Good night.
00:15:12Sleep tight.
00:15:15Don't let the bed bugs bite.
00:15:22He had a nightmare.
00:15:24He thought there was a monster in his room.
00:15:27I guess it's just spending the first night in a strange house.
00:15:31He'll be all right in the morning.
00:15:33Monsters.
00:15:35Mary?
00:15:36Mary?
00:15:37Mary?
00:15:38Mary?
00:15:39Mary?
00:15:40I was good.
00:15:41I didn't tell.
00:15:42Okay.
00:15:43I told.
00:15:44But he didn't believe me.
00:15:48Mary?
00:15:49Mary?
00:15:51Mary?
00:15:53Mary?
00:15:54Mary?
00:16:01Mary!
00:16:10Mary!
00:16:16Mary!
00:16:27Are you all right?
00:16:28Yeah.
00:16:30Good.
00:16:32Good.
00:16:34Is Billy okay?
00:16:36Yeah, everything's fine.
00:16:58Wow.
00:17:28Damn owls.
00:17:59They found the book.
00:18:02It's not fair.
00:18:04For 300 years, I've been searching for that book.
00:18:08Well, now you know where it is.
00:18:11That's not the point.
00:18:13Don't you understand?
00:18:14Whoever controls the book controls the world.
00:18:18And now he's got it.
00:18:21Two days from now, there may not be a world.
00:18:23Good morning.
00:18:28Good morning.
00:18:29Good morning.
00:18:37Thank you for doing the dishes last night.
00:18:39I didn't do the dishes.
00:18:41Oh?
00:18:43Must have been Debbie.
00:18:45Or maybe there are elves in the house.
00:18:47Elves?
00:18:53I guess they could have used a little more sunlight.
00:19:05Oh, that's better, darling.
00:19:07They don't seem nearly as dead.
00:19:10Well, it may have been noisy last night,
00:19:12but this morning the house feels so comfortable.
00:19:14I don't think I slept 15 minutes all night.
00:19:16Billy woke us up.
00:19:17He had a nightmare.
00:19:19And we kept hearing owls.
00:19:21If you guys think I'm starting school today in this condition, forget it.
00:19:23It'll be much quieter once we get curtains on the windows.
00:19:25If you were so tired, you didn't have to get up early and do the dishes.
00:19:28I didn't do the dishes.
00:19:30You didn't?
00:19:31Well, then who did?
00:19:32It must have been Billy.
00:19:34Mom, when did you ever know Billy to do a dish?
00:19:36Well, somebody did the dishes, and we're the only ones in this house.
00:19:38Oh.
00:19:40Oh.
00:19:42Oh.
00:19:44Oh.
00:19:46Oh.
00:19:47Oh.
00:19:48Oh.
00:19:49Oh.
00:19:50Oh.
00:19:51Oh.
00:19:52Oh.
00:19:53Oh.
00:19:54Oh.
00:19:55Oh.
00:19:56Oh.
00:19:57Oh.
00:19:58Oh.
00:19:59Oh.
00:20:00Oh.
00:20:01We're not supposed to get out of the book.
00:20:02There's gotta be a book to tell you how to get them back in.
00:20:06There's something creepy about this place.
00:20:11It was a neighborhood, not unlike any other neighborhood.
00:20:14But this was a day unlike any other day.
00:20:18We're going out to do some shopping.
00:20:19We're going to buy some curtains.
00:20:21Heavy curtains.
00:20:22This place will be quiet as a tomb.
00:20:23Curtains and a few other things.
00:20:26It seems that one of the windows was broken.
00:20:29Yeah, it must have happened during my nightmare.
00:20:33We'll see you in a little while.
00:20:35Oh, Mom, you didn't clean up my room, did you?
00:20:38I just put a few clothes away.
00:20:43Don't wreck the house while we're gone.
00:20:48See you later.
00:20:49Bye.
00:20:50We'll be back in a little while.
00:20:52Oh, my God, what a bright, beautiful morning.
00:20:55Yes, it is a bright, beautiful morning.
00:20:57And we're in our own home.
00:21:00Yes.
00:21:06Hi. Anything the matter?
00:21:08Oh, no, I got to work. I forgot my bed.
00:21:10So I had to come home and get it.
00:21:12I couldn't sleep all night.
00:21:14I kept hearing noises. Take care.
00:21:16If you need anything, just scream.
00:21:19So reassuring to have a policeman living next door.
00:21:28Oh, yeah.
00:21:29I don't know.
00:21:30Oh, yeah.
00:21:31That's all.
00:21:32Oh, yeah.
00:21:34Oh, yeah.
00:21:36Oh, yeah.
00:21:37I can't be with you, I know.
00:21:44Oh, yeah.
00:21:46Oh, yeah.
00:21:47Oh, no.
00:21:48Oh, yeah.
00:21:49Oh, yeah.
00:21:54Billy, can you get that?
00:22:24Billy, are you deaf or something?
00:22:54The next one who gets me out of that tub is in big trouble.
00:23:06Billy, are you deaf?
00:23:18Billy, are you deaf?
00:23:30Billy, are you deaf?
00:23:34Billy, are you deaf?
00:23:50Billy, are you deaf?
00:24:02Billy, are you deaf?
00:24:06Billy, are you deaf?
00:24:18Billy, are you deaf?
00:24:22Billy, are you deaf?
00:24:24Billy, are you deaf?
00:24:40Billy!
00:24:42Billy!
00:24:44Billy!
00:24:46Billy, there's a fish in the bathtub!
00:24:48There's a giant fish in the bathtub!
00:24:50What?
00:24:52Do something!
00:24:54You're supposed to be the smart one in this family.
00:24:56Will you just do something?
00:24:58What do you want me to do, broil it?
00:25:06How big is this fish?
00:25:08Big.
00:25:17Do something!
00:25:19I gotta get upstairs.
00:25:20You gotta keep me busy.
00:25:22What am I supposed to do?
00:25:23Bring out the Monopoly set?
00:25:25Do something!
00:25:30I need time to get up to my room.
00:25:32Okay?
00:25:33No!
00:25:35You got to just keep running!
00:25:37No!
00:25:38No!
00:25:39No!
00:25:40No!
00:25:41No!
00:25:42No!
00:25:43No!
00:25:44No!
00:25:45No!
00:25:46No!
00:25:47No!
00:25:48No!
00:25:49No!
00:25:54This is what you call hanging up a few clothes?
00:25:58If she moves that book...
00:26:07I need the police!
00:26:08Give me the police!
00:26:09It's a coast guard!
00:26:10I need the coast guard!
00:26:11I need the coast guard!
00:26:12I need help!
00:26:18Ah!
00:26:19Ah!
00:26:20Ah!
00:26:21Ah!
00:26:27Ah!
00:26:30Ah!
00:26:32Oh god!
00:26:33Oh no!
00:26:34Ah!
00:26:35Ugh.
00:26:36Ugh.
00:26:36Ugh.
00:26:37Ugh.
00:26:38Ugh.
00:26:39Ugh.
00:26:40Ugh!
00:26:41Ugh!
00:26:42Ugh!
00:26:43Ugh!
00:26:44Ugh!
00:26:45Ugh!
00:26:46Ugh!
00:26:47Ugh!
00:26:48Ugh!
00:26:49Ugh!
00:26:50Ugh!
00:26:51Ugh!
00:26:55Everything all right in there?
00:26:57No!
00:26:58Ugh!
00:27:09Hold it right there, man.
00:27:15Turn around.
00:27:16Put your hands against the wall.
00:27:18Help!
00:27:20Stop right there or I'll shoot.
00:27:22No!
00:27:23I don't want any trouble with you.
00:27:26Mmm.
00:27:31Uh!
00:27:32Ugh!
00:27:33FLEONG!
00:27:36Ugh!
00:27:36えー!
00:27:38Uh!
00:27:39Woah!
00:27:40Uh!
00:27:41Uh!
00:27:44Uh!
00:27:45Wines!
00:27:48Uh!
00:27:50Uh!
00:27:52어!
00:27:53Uh!
00:27:54Debbie, wake up!
00:27:56You gotta help me find that book before Mom and Dad get back!
00:28:11If they find out this was my fault, come on!
00:28:15Debbie, wake up!
00:28:24There is another dimension, where a decent cheeseburger still costs 79 cents, where the bluebird of happiness still sings every morning, where the decent people who live next door could be from another planet.
00:28:53Hi, we're back.
00:28:55How's everything?
00:28:56Oh, just fine.
00:28:58Where's Debbie?
00:29:00I think she's taking a bath.
00:29:02Ah.
00:29:12Debbie?
00:29:14Debbie!
00:29:15No!
00:29:16It's me!
00:29:17It's your mother!
00:29:18Debbie, are you all right?
00:29:20I guess I fell asleep.
00:29:23Mom, I had the creepiest dream.
00:29:29Come on!
00:29:30Come on!
00:29:31We can make a deal.
00:29:33What do you want?
00:29:35Hey, how about food?
00:29:37What do you like to eat?
00:29:39Bad question.
00:29:41This house is creepy.
00:29:43There's nothing wrong with this house.
00:29:46Then how come all we get on TV is the Twilight Zone?
00:29:49Some shows are very popular.
00:29:52I once watched television all morning and never saw anything but I Love Lucy.
00:29:57Mom, this isn't I Love Lucy.
00:29:59This is...
00:30:00There's a dimension of mind.
00:30:02That's just your imagination.
00:30:04You'll see everybody will love this house.
00:30:07Everybody?
00:30:08You're the only one who loves it.
00:30:10Everybody at the party.
00:30:12What party?
00:30:13Saturday night.
00:30:14The relatives insisted on coming over so we had to invite somebody we could stand too.
00:30:19To balance things out.
00:30:21This Saturday night?
00:30:22The 13th.
00:30:23Mom, Friday's the 13th.
00:30:27The 14th then.
00:30:28Saturday the 14th.
00:30:29The 14th then.
00:30:30Saturday the 14th.
00:30:45I've gotta find that book.
00:30:57There's a my best app.
00:30:59I don't know.
00:31:00Well, I'm gonna have to滿00000 people.
00:31:01That's enough?
00:31:02That's enough to eat.
00:31:03After that, I'm gonna have to buy, yeah?
00:31:04I need to.
00:31:05I need to pay.
00:31:06I need to pay for the bar.
00:31:07So, you're gonna have to get some trouble.
00:31:08I need to pay.
00:31:09I'm gonna have to pay for it.
00:31:10You're a little bear.
00:31:11I need to pay a charge.
00:31:12What do you care?
00:31:13I need to pay.
00:31:14And you know, I'll pay for the Lord.
00:31:15You're gonna pay for it.
00:31:16You're gonna pay for it.
00:31:17You're gonna pay for it.
00:31:18But you're gonna pay for it.
00:31:19There's going to pay to pay for it.
00:31:21I'm going to pay for it.
00:31:22If you lost something, and because you lost it, the whole world was going to be destroyed.
00:31:29What would you do?
00:31:31Are you telling me you lost something?
00:31:33Oh, hi, Deb. Welcome home. You need some help?
00:31:35Oh, thanks.
00:31:38Remember those people who were trying to buy the house?
00:31:41Yes.
00:31:42Well, they were at the supermarket, and they asked me if we had any antiques we wanted to sell.
00:31:47Mostly they wanted to know about any old books.
00:31:50Boy, are they creepy.
00:31:51You know, Dad, you really ought to sell them the house. They'd fit right in.
00:31:58Debbie, what would you do if you lost something and the world was going to be destroyed?
00:32:04I'd call the police.
00:32:06That wasn't the answer.
00:32:15I wonder what Mom wanted this for.
00:32:18She must be getting into European cooking.
00:32:20Where is she, anyway?
00:32:24Where else?
00:32:25Cleaning.
00:32:26Hello?
00:32:31Is anybody in there?
00:32:48Hello?
00:32:55Hello?
00:32:55Hello?
00:32:56You poor baby.
00:33:05How long have you been up here?
00:33:08Oh, we'll get you a bowl of milk.
00:33:10Come on, kitty, kitty. Come on.
00:33:14Come on.
00:33:14Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
00:33:18Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
00:33:32That can't be mice. Not with a cat up here all this time.
00:33:40Have a cat up here all this time.
00:33:44Oh perché?
00:33:45Kitty?
00:33:47Botа?
00:33:47Puss?
00:33:49Puss?
00:33:51Puss?
00:33:52Puss?
00:33:53Puss?
00:33:53Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss.
00:33:55Puss in the under there?
00:33:58Oh
00:34:28Oh
00:34:58Go on, I won't let them hurt you now
00:35:12Go on, my darling
00:35:14Take a little nap
00:35:15Electric electrolysis
00:35:20Elevator exercise
00:35:22Ah, there it is
00:35:23Exterminator
00:35:24Who ate my sandwich?
00:35:27Not me
00:35:28Me
00:35:30Yeah, yeah, it was me
00:35:32I thought you weren't hungry
00:35:33Well, you know, excitement
00:35:35Excitement always makes you hungry
00:35:37Excitement
00:35:39Exterminator
00:35:40Ah, there's a good one
00:35:42Major pest control
00:35:56Major pest control
00:36:00This is the major speaking
00:36:01My name is John Hyatt
00:36:03And I've got bats in my belfry
00:36:04I'm an exterminator
00:36:06My belfry's full of bats
00:36:07They just attacked my wife
00:36:08Oh, you got bats in your belfry?
00:36:10A lot of bats
00:36:11You know how many?
00:36:12We're charged by the bat
00:36:13I don't care what it costs
00:36:14As long as we get the bats out of here
00:36:16Yeah
00:36:16Okay, I'll send a man over, say, uh
00:36:19Next Tuesday
00:36:20Now!
00:36:21Right away!
00:36:22This minute!
00:36:22I'm at 329 Elm Street
00:36:24Okay, I'll send him out
00:36:26Van Helsing
00:36:29Yeah?
00:36:35Bats!
00:36:37Bats!
00:36:39329 Elm Street
00:36:41329 Elm Street
00:36:43That sounds so hopeful
00:36:45So inviting
00:36:46So did 1827 Maple Street
00:36:48So did 4386 Bratworth Drive
00:36:51Sooner or later, my friend
00:36:53I will find a house
00:36:55Where the bats did not come in
00:36:57Through the window
00:36:57Sooner or later
00:36:59I'll be able to end my searching
00:37:00329 Elm Street
00:37:02Doesn't sound like
00:37:03The end of the rainbow
00:37:03It's not that end of the rainbow
00:37:06That I'm looking for
00:37:07So
00:37:14You're the man with bats in his belfry, eh?
00:37:17You're the exterminator?
00:37:19Yeah
00:37:19You don't look like an exterminator
00:37:21That's to fool the bats
00:37:22What are we here?
00:37:26Nothing fires the imagination
00:37:28So much as a fine library
00:37:30Do you have any old books?
00:37:33Any very old books?
00:37:35Maybe you better ask Billy
00:37:37He's the smart one in the family
00:37:38No, no
00:37:39No old books
00:37:40I always throw my old books away
00:37:42When I'm finished reading them
00:37:43Old books can be worth
00:37:44Quite a lot of money
00:37:46Take this to my room
00:37:49Your room?
00:37:52You don't expect to get rid of bats overnight?
00:37:55I guess you can use the guest room
00:37:57He is really creepy
00:38:02Down at the exterminator place
00:38:06We have a little motto
00:38:07When I leave this house
00:38:10There will be nothing left here
00:38:12To be afraid of
00:38:13Oh, and this must be a charming wife
00:38:25What's for dinner?
00:38:29I think Mary bought a roast
00:38:31Debbie, why don't you start cooking
00:38:33While I show our guest
00:38:35To his room?
00:38:36You know, it sure gets dark early since we moved here
00:39:03It's getting creepy
00:39:05Are you still having nightmares?
00:39:09I don't even have to be asleep
00:39:11Listen, we've got to work on mom and dad
00:39:14To just sell this place and move
00:39:15They can't sell it
00:39:17It's part of Uncle Henry's will
00:39:18If they sell the place
00:39:20The money goes back to the estate
00:39:23And all those vultures split it up
00:39:24So we're stuck here
00:39:26God, for long
00:39:28Boy, even my own brother's getting creepy
00:39:35Mom, mom, mom, mom
00:39:43Dad
00:39:44BIRDS CHIRP
00:40:14BIRDS CHIRP
00:40:18Just rest. You'll be all right.
00:40:22I wonder...
00:40:24What?
00:40:26I wonder if I'm pregnant.
00:40:31Help! The man next door!
00:40:33What's the matter?
00:40:34He's... he's...
00:40:36What? What?
00:40:38He's in the kitchen!
00:40:39The man next door is in the kitchen!
00:40:41I wonder what he wants.
00:40:44Well, whatever he wanted, he must have found it.
00:40:53He probably just needed a cup of sugar or something.
00:40:57But he was...
00:40:59He...
00:41:00It's an excellent meal. I can stay here forever.
00:41:09Darling, have a little piece.
00:41:12No!
00:41:12Thank you very much.
00:41:13Sweetheart, have a taste. You'll love it. Debbie used a lot of garlic.
00:41:19No! No garlic! Keep it away!
00:41:22Thank you very much.
00:41:25Maybe we ought to get you some pickles and ice cream.
00:41:28You have been developing strange eating habits since you've been here, huh?
00:41:32No, no. That's just a little joke you know about being...
00:41:36About being what?
00:41:38It's personal.
00:41:40About being pregnant.
00:41:43Or you're going to have a baby.
00:41:45Really, Mom? Really?
00:41:47Do you know this baby it might be?
00:41:49I don't like that kind of talk.
00:41:51You remember Rose is married.
00:41:54She had a baby.
00:41:55I don't even know that I'm having a baby.
00:41:58It may be just a...
00:42:01Just what?
00:42:03A strange feeling.
00:42:06And it started since you came to live here.
00:42:09That book is in this house!
00:42:11Book? What book?
00:42:12What book?
00:42:13The book!
00:42:14Why do you think that you have strange things happening to you?
00:42:17Why do you think you have bats?
00:42:19We have bats because of a book?
00:42:21You have more than bats. You have problems.
00:42:23And if anything happens to that book, the whole world has problems.
00:42:26If someone should open that book, his soul would be doomed to eternal hell, fire, and damnation.
00:42:33Yeah!
00:42:34I've followed this book around the world for many, many years.
00:42:37More years than you would care to hear of.
00:42:39And now, at last, I know where it is!
00:42:44Where is it?
00:42:45What?
00:42:46What? What?
00:42:47It's gone.
00:42:49You had it.
00:42:52You didn't open it, did you?
00:42:54Oh, boy.
00:42:58I didn't know.
00:42:59Will someone please tell me what this is all about?
00:43:01After all, I am the man of the house here.
00:43:04The book of evil!
00:43:09Evil.
00:43:12Evil.
00:43:15All the evil that there's ever been.
00:43:17In one book?
00:43:20Boy, a book like that would be a bestseller for sure.
00:43:23All of that evil is loose here, in this house.
00:43:27Well, I guess it's time to sell the house.
00:43:29You said you knew some people who wanted to buy it.
00:43:37Let's give that nice real estate lady a call.
00:43:40We are not going to sell this house.
00:43:43But, Mom, this is our home now.
00:43:46We belong here.
00:43:49Selling the house now would be like closing the barn door after the horses have eaten your children.
00:43:56So what are we supposed to do?
00:43:58Well, for one thing, we better cancel that party.
00:44:00You're having a party here?
00:44:03Now?
00:44:03We were having a few people over tomorrow night.
00:44:06Tomorrow night?
00:44:07Saturday the 14th?
00:44:09Do you know who's going to be waiting here for those people?
00:44:11Maybe we better just let the relatives come.
00:44:14No.
00:44:14Let everybody come.
00:44:15We can use those people, their energy, and we will try them.
00:44:21But I have a great deal of work to do in the next 24 hours.
00:44:27And boy, find that book.
00:44:45Go where you hid the book
00:44:59And bring it to me
00:45:03Bring me the book, my darling
00:45:08Good
00:45:11Bring me the book
00:45:15And we'll fly off together
00:45:18Yes
00:45:22Yes
00:45:27Yes
00:45:28The book
00:45:34Okay, go back to bed
00:45:40I'll think of another way
00:45:42Incantations for every occasion
00:45:52Every occasion, but finding that book
00:45:55Turning bill collectors to stone
00:46:02He's in there and we're out here
00:46:07He's got that book by now
00:46:12If he had that book by now, he wouldn't still be in there
00:46:15But we'd still be out here
00:46:17You could go in there
00:46:19I could
00:46:20You always do
00:46:21You're starting to like that woman, aren't you?
00:46:30She's not my type
00:46:31She's hundreds of years
00:46:33Too young for me
00:46:34I'd like to take a look at her neck
00:46:36Honey, all I'm after is the book
00:46:40Maybe I'll go in with you tonight
00:46:43Well, if you don't trust me
00:46:45After 311 years of marriage
00:46:49312
00:46:50We'll talk about this when I get back
00:46:56I'm going with you
00:46:57I wish I'd never learned to do this
00:47:01It's so unattractive
00:47:03I'll get that book if it kills us
00:47:05It doesn't matter where we live
00:47:18I've always got the longest walk to the bathroom
00:47:20This isn't the bathroom
00:47:33This is the kitchen
00:47:36What am I doing in the kitchen?
00:47:41What are they doing in the kitchen?
00:47:52How am I going to get out of the kitchen?
00:47:54How am I going to get out of here?
00:48:04How am I going to get out of here?
00:48:18How am I going to get out of here?
00:48:22Oh, my God.
00:48:52Oh, my God.
00:49:22Oh, my God.
00:49:52She's trying to find that book, and all she can think about is that Harker woman in London.
00:49:55That was a hundred years ago.
00:50:07Oops.
00:50:08Can't take you anywhere.
00:50:17If you weren't immortal, you'd kill yourself.
00:50:19Oh, look.
00:50:22Isn't that that boy Valerian from Budapest?
00:50:25No, that's a fruit bat from the Philippines.
00:50:32I just hope this isn't going to be another little incident like that Harker woman.
00:50:36That was a hundred years ago.
00:50:38I know you're overdue.
00:50:51Oh, we meet again.
00:50:54I thought I settled your hash last time.
00:50:57I'm stronger now.
00:50:59I know how to deal with your kind.
00:51:01We were here first.
00:51:03I got inside the house first.
00:51:05We tried to buy it.
00:51:06But you didn't.
00:51:07Now get out of my house.
00:51:09Not without the book.
00:51:11You will never get it.
00:51:12Do you know what one drop of this would do to you?
00:51:17One drop?
00:51:18Darling, maybe we had better go.
00:51:23But we'll be back.
00:51:26And I'll be ready for you.
00:51:28Some vampires will believe anything.
00:51:45Not bad.
00:51:48Not good.
00:51:50Not bad.
00:51:51I think maybe it's time you all just got out of this house.
00:52:01You think it's that easy?
00:52:03You think you can just go waltzing through the front door
00:52:05and all the evil in the world will just politely fade into the woodwork, yeah?
00:52:11You want to leave?
00:52:12Go ahead, leave.
00:52:15Go on.
00:52:16Walk out the door.
00:52:18Walk out in your family.
00:52:20Forget your sister.
00:52:22Forget your responsibilities.
00:52:23Go ahead.
00:52:24I've got to get out of here.
00:52:26What is it you're afraid of?
00:52:28Open the door.
00:52:35Have you had enough?
00:52:38Let's close it.
00:52:39It's freezing in here.
00:52:47You see?
00:52:49You can't leave.
00:52:51But I've got to go to school Monday.
00:52:53By Monday, all of this will be over.
00:52:56It will be over tomorrow night at the party, one way or the other.
00:53:12You know what this kitchen needs is some decoration.
00:53:15You can hang strings of garlic.
00:53:17Mary doesn't seem to be as fond of garlic as she used to.
00:53:20Garlic is very attractive in the kitchen this color.
00:53:28No, thank you.
00:53:30I never dreamed.
00:53:31Go.
00:53:33I'll take it.
00:53:35Without my first cup of coffee in the morning, I can't see straight.
00:53:39We had a house once in Bavaria.
00:53:41We had so much garlic hanging, we couldn't find the stove.
00:53:45We couldn't even smell the stove.
00:53:47That kitchen made the cover of better homes and garlic.
00:53:50Oh, I've got to get out of here.
00:54:04There must be something we can do.
00:54:07Oh, there is.
00:54:08You can put out big bowls of potato chips, and you can make a nice onion dip.
00:54:15Potato chips?
00:54:17Onion dip?
00:54:18Is that what monsters eat?
00:54:19No, that's what people eat.
00:54:22I'm not hungry.
00:54:23Well, you're having a party tonight.
00:54:25Oh, yeah.
00:54:26Forgot about that.
00:54:27You forgot about your party?
00:54:29The whole world is depending upon this party.
00:54:32Now, we need onion dip.
00:54:33We need club soda.
00:54:34We need old Barbara Streisand records.
00:54:37The people at this party have to be as happy as any people ever were.
00:54:41We need all the positive energy that we can get our hands on.
00:54:45Positive energy?
00:54:46You better call the relatives and tell them not to come.
00:54:50Why don't you do it?
00:54:51I'm going to check on your mother.
00:54:53Here, take this coffee.
00:54:56I can't stand the sight of it.
00:55:04I think the circuits are busy.
00:55:14Yeah, you know.
00:55:15It's cheaper to call before 8 o'clock.
00:55:18Circuits are probably just jammed with people trying to save 15 cents.
00:55:22Yeah, right.
00:55:24I'll call again after 8.
00:55:25Mary, are you all right?
00:55:37What's this?
00:55:40What's what?
00:55:43All this dirt.
00:55:45Your whole side of the bed is covered with earth.
00:55:48I must have spilled the flower pot.
00:55:52Well, we'll have to get this cleaned up.
00:55:55No.
00:55:56No, thank you.
00:55:56I'll clean it myself later.
00:55:58I have to get some sleep now.
00:56:02Give me a kiss, darling.
00:56:05Oh, let me just see who that is.
00:56:11I'll be back for that kiss.
00:56:22Yeah?
00:56:23Hi.
00:56:24Liquor store?
00:56:24No.
00:56:25Private residence.
00:56:34Yeah?
00:56:35No, no, no.
00:56:35I am from the liquor store.
00:56:37You called last night?
00:56:38Yeah?
00:56:38Potato chips, club soda, onion dip, Streisand records?
00:56:43Yeah.
00:56:43Come in.
00:56:45Put it in the kitchen.
00:56:46I would help you with it, but I hurt my back in the Crimean War.
00:56:50Well, let's go.
00:57:10Maybe it'd be better today if you played inside.
00:57:12I've got to get out of this house.
00:57:14I'm a 10-year-old kid.
00:57:15I'm supposed to be out in the sunshine.
00:57:17You'll never know the contribution you've made for saving the world.
00:57:26Who's that guy?
00:57:30Have a nice day now.
00:57:31Boy, these storms come up all of a sudden this time of year.
00:57:46You folks mind if I wait it out here for a few minutes?
00:57:48George and Elizabeth Benson got into their car to go to a party.
00:58:07But this wasn't going to be the kind of party they expected.
00:58:11The guests are about to arrive.
00:58:13Billy, will you turn that thing off?
00:58:15I did turn it off.
00:58:17The ships have been prepared in the...
00:58:28Feed me.
00:58:30Young man, we're going to have dinner in just a few minutes.
00:58:33There are many ways of fighting evil.
00:58:45Many ways.
00:59:03This could take hours.
00:59:08One of those people coming.
00:59:10I'll get it.
00:59:16I'll get it.
00:59:18Everybody always gets so excited about the first guests.
00:59:23But, Mom, there's something horrible out there.
00:59:26You really are living here.
00:59:32You're right.
00:59:34There is something horrible out there.
00:59:37Aunt Lucille.
00:59:40Uncle Bert.
00:59:41This is a little jumping from all of us.
00:59:43An electric candle.
00:59:44The place feels just the same as it did when Uncle Henry died in her.
00:59:49Mary.
00:59:51Mary White Country.
00:59:53Why, a beer kit.
00:59:55Hey, John.
00:59:57Here.
00:59:59This place could go up in a minute.
01:00:01I could run for a massive policy.
01:00:02Never let it go into a family.
01:00:03Look how Bailey is.
01:00:04Don't you ever let him out?
01:00:05Ten percent.
01:00:06Oh.
01:00:07Oh.
01:00:08Did you join?
01:00:09Did you join?
01:00:10Did you join?
01:00:11Oh.
01:00:12Oh.
01:00:13Hi there.
01:00:14I'm Phil.
01:00:15Johnny's cousin.
01:00:16You call those hors d'oeuvres?
01:00:20This one's got no meat on it.
01:00:25Which way is the bar?
01:00:28Hey.
01:00:29Hey.
01:00:30Bring on the food.
01:00:31Do they belong?
01:00:32She wanted to sell me disaster insurance.
01:00:34On this house?
01:00:35No disaster.
01:00:36What is it?
01:00:37That man deserves everything that comes to him.
01:00:40I thought you were gonna use these people to get rid of the monsters.
01:00:43I am.
01:00:44Aunt Lucille.
01:00:45Let me take your coat.
01:00:47Oh, no, no, dear.
01:00:48I'll hang it up myself.
01:00:49Otherwise, how could I look in your closets?
01:00:52Always that kid on the sofa.
01:01:01I don't know.
01:01:02Terrible place.
01:01:10Ah, there's the closet.
01:01:12Let's see whose skeleton is in it.
01:01:22Well, the nerve of her buying a coat just like mine.
01:01:29Hello?
01:01:30Hi.
01:01:31I'm Annette Muldowney.
01:01:32From next door?
01:01:33I hated to come along, but I haven't seen my husband in two days.
01:01:36Well, he's a policeman.
01:01:37He's probably working overtime.
01:01:54Crime is so terrible these days.
01:01:57There are no messengers in there.
01:02:00Well, he's a policeman. He's probably working overtime.
01:02:04Crime is so terrible these days.
01:02:06People are getting killed everywhere you live.
01:02:08Well, I'm glad one of you could make it. Come on.
01:02:11I brought you a little something.
01:02:13It's an electric can opener.
01:02:15It's exactly what I needed.
01:02:16Oh, God.
01:02:17Thank you. I'll see if they can't use it at the bar.
01:02:19Come here.
01:02:30The world is coming to an end, and they make me the bartender.
01:02:36I haven't mixed a drink since that time Attila the Hun got drunk and wrecked Mongolia.
01:02:51Anyone had the banana daiquiri?
01:02:54Mary, have you seen Lucille?
01:02:57Not since she went to hang up her coat.
01:03:03I can't fight hiding her hair.
01:03:07How does your garden grow?
01:03:10You'd have to find somebody else to be bartender.
01:03:13I brought you this can opener. That'll make it easier.
01:03:16I have things to do. People are already disappearing.
01:03:20Where's Billy? I need him for this.
01:03:23He's right.
01:03:26I'll find him.
01:03:27If anything has happened to that boy, he'll be sunk.
01:03:31Mary.
01:03:35Have you seen Billy?
01:03:36Mary, this ice is so old.
01:03:39Have you seen Billy?
01:03:41Yeah, he's...
01:03:42Oh, he must have gone upstairs.
01:03:45You know how kids hate grown-up parties.
01:03:47Debbie.
01:03:50Have you seen Billy?
01:03:51No.
01:03:52Find him.
01:03:53Okay.
01:03:55Debbie.
01:03:55Who's that guy?
01:04:00I don't know.
01:04:02You haven't found the boy yet?
01:04:05We haven't even looked yet.
01:04:07But look.
01:04:08Look high and low.
01:04:09It's almost 11.30.
01:04:10Hey, if we don't have that boy by midnight, things are going to get extraordinarily unpleasant.
01:04:17People.
01:04:18People.
01:04:20Everybody.
01:04:22Have an announcement to make.
01:04:25We're going to play a little game.
01:04:27Somewhere in this house is hidden a small boy.
01:04:31Let's see who is the first to find him.
01:04:34Why don't we win?
01:04:35You win?
01:04:36When?
01:04:36What do you win?
01:04:37Are you...
01:04:38You get to keep the boy!
01:04:39No!
01:04:40Uh, no.
01:04:41No.
01:04:42Uh, you...
01:04:43You get an electric can opener.
01:04:46Oh!
01:04:56Billy?
01:04:58Billy?
01:05:11Billy?
01:05:14Billy?
01:05:16Billy!
01:05:26The book! It's gone.
01:05:29Per your hornem geenem consecratum.
01:05:46Billy?
01:05:48Billy?
01:05:50Are you here?
01:05:58Billy?
01:06:03Billy?
01:06:12Billy?
01:06:18Now this worked on that other little boy. How the hell did it go?
01:06:23You go in here. I'll go in here.
01:06:25Holler if you see anything.
01:06:27Right.
01:06:32Billy?
01:06:35Billy?
01:06:37Oh, my God.
01:06:38It's what we call a fixer-upper.
01:06:47Billy?
01:06:50Find your own place to look for him.
01:06:52I think it's real...
01:06:56You haven't seen the little boy.
01:07:06Ernie!
01:07:08Oh, thank God you're here!
01:07:12Ernie! Do something!
01:07:13Ernie!
01:07:24Neil?
01:07:25Neil, will you answer me?
01:07:33Oh, thanks.
01:07:34Oh, thanks. I almost broke my neck.
01:07:45You found him?
01:07:46We looked everywhere.
01:07:47In one minute, terrible things are going to happen.
01:07:53Less than a minute?
01:07:56The monsters are taking over the house!
01:07:58We are all doomed!
01:08:00Doomed!
01:08:04What could that be?
01:08:06Everybody I've invited has already showed up.
01:08:08Enough. I'll get it.
01:08:10I'll get it.
01:08:11I'll get it.
01:08:12I'll get it!
01:08:13I believe this is what you've been looking for, Van Helsen.
01:08:16What?
01:08:17What?
01:08:18What?
01:08:19What?
01:08:20What?
01:08:21What?
01:08:22What?
01:08:23What?
01:08:24What?
01:08:25What?
01:08:26What?
01:08:27What?
01:08:28What?
01:08:29What?
01:08:30What?
01:08:31What?
01:08:32We've been looking for, Van Helsen.
01:08:36Billy!
01:08:37Billiff!
01:08:38Don't touch that boy!
01:08:39Give me that book!
01:08:41Not so fast.
01:08:43We have no time to run!
01:08:46Well In my Boy..
01:08:48Will you hand me?
01:08:50Hand me that book.
01:08:52Get in the book, Billy!
01:08:54He's the only one who could get rid of the monsters.
01:08:56I know who you are. You're in this book. They showed me.
01:09:00I can make you very strong.
01:09:03Never!
01:09:08Come on, Billy. Quit fooling around.
01:09:11Your powers are nothing compared to mine.
01:09:14When I get that book, I will rule the world.
01:09:17I will rule the world.
01:09:20I will rule the world.
01:09:23Think of it. Famine. War. Death. Those we've got.
01:09:28And you will be the first to die.
01:09:53No one will stop me!
01:10:03No one will stop me!
01:10:16Never liked that lamp.
01:10:18That was your mother's table. Was it?
01:10:22That was your mother's table. Was it?
01:10:29Yeah.
01:10:31Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:10:33It's the fireplace. It's burning.
01:10:52Ha-ha-ha!
01:10:55Ha-ha-ha!
01:10:57Ha-ha-ha!
01:10:58I am your master.
01:11:22Once the book is destroyed, you will never be imprisoned.
01:11:27Again, army of knights will rule the world.
01:11:32It can't get any creepier than this.
01:11:50I know. Everything's gonna be fine.
01:11:57Let go of this book, boy.
01:12:11It killed the monsters, and it'll kill you.
01:12:14Nothing can kill me.
01:12:25No! No!
01:12:27We won! We won!
01:12:49It's Rover! Rover's back!
01:12:51He thought destroying the book would free the monsters.
01:13:06That wasn't the way it worked.
01:13:08Thank you for coming.
01:13:21I had a swell party.
01:13:27Have a nice day.
01:13:28You too.
01:13:30We don't know who he is.
01:13:32Well, at least he's gone.
01:13:37Good boy! Good boy!
01:13:39I think they've had enough of this house.
01:13:41I think so, too.
01:13:43It's time they lived happily ever after.
01:13:47And us, too?
01:13:49Of course.
01:13:50Darling.
01:13:51I think so, too.
01:13:52Of course.
01:13:53Darling.
01:14:19You too, too.
01:14:20Can't hear it.
01:14:21I think so.
01:14:22You can do it too.
01:14:23Uhm?
01:14:24Number three.
01:14:25And you, too.
01:14:26I'll have to wait for it.
01:14:27I think so.
01:14:28I don't know.
01:14:29Have to wait for him.
01:14:30Edward De homes.
01:14:32He's gonna walk?
01:14:33You'll have to wait for his eyes.
01:14:35I know.
01:14:37My secret business is getting, yeah.
01:14:39I know, how am I?
01:14:41Oh yeah.
01:14:43I know, how am I gonna buy you?
01:14:44I feel saved.
01:14:45There's a little two guys.
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