- 7/2/2025
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:30and then nose man takes the axe and chops his way into the city's inner sanctum and then what
00:00:51then what ah here it is nose man says this price is malodorous chock full of malignancy
00:00:59kids this comic's a real page turner it's slopping over with gripping suspense let's see now let's see
00:01:08uh uh nosy says do my nostrils detect the overpowering stench of a prehistoric monster
00:01:14he turns around and schmozilla story continued in hideous tales issue number 177
00:01:24gee that's nice story continued in hideous tales 177 where is it where is it
00:01:31it's a veritable collector's item
00:01:34quick you're on in five seconds
00:01:52gee tough audience
00:02:15hey this stuff works great
00:02:44take it ghoulie
00:02:50they're drenched in blood or caked with mud
00:03:02you yell and scream when one of them arrives there is no denying monsters lead such interesting
00:03:14lives they live in ooze they've paid their dues no brothers sisters moms or dads or wives
00:03:24honest i'm honest i'm not lying monsters lead such interesting lies when you see them coming down the street
00:03:35you better not have weights tied to your feet they'll steal your heart tear you apart limb from limb on a whim
00:03:49they'll suck your brain they'll suck your brains they'll suck your brains and eat your remains they'll slice you up with little forks and knives
00:03:57they're never married they're never married they're all so scary monsters lead such interesting lies
00:04:06they're independent fellas they don't live nine to fives monsters lead such interesting lies
00:04:19thank you thank you thank you
00:04:32so are you folks enjoying yourselves
00:04:36hiya frankie how's the missus
00:04:41look it's mummy dearest
00:04:47still all wrapped up in yourself i see
00:04:50and whoa it appears we have a celebrity in our midst
00:04:56that 22-ton terror of tokyo town that towering colossus of scaly reptilian bulk
00:05:03of course i'm talking about throw a spot on them would you fellas
00:05:07schmodzilla
00:05:09so schmod baby leveled any major cities lately
00:05:16you know folks schmodzilla is just like any unemployed actor
00:05:22except that when he pounds the pavement it registers a 10 on the richter scale
00:05:28what's the matter the public not buying those cheap special effects anymore
00:05:40a dream it was all a dream
00:05:55schmodzilla you was expecting maybe kelvin coolidge
00:06:02to do
00:06:11THE END
00:06:41THE END
00:07:11THE END
00:07:41THE END
00:07:43THEY'RE STURDY, THEY'RE DEPENDABLE, THEY'RE FACTORY FRESH, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, HMM, SLIGHTLY USED, THEY'RE,
00:07:51THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY'RE, THEY
00:08:21and so easy to use.
00:08:25Just place between the thumb and forefinger,
00:08:28gently squeeze, and...
00:08:30and, uh, it really sticks,
00:08:33uh, like that there.
00:08:51I represent the Excelsior Appliance and Appertinence Company,
00:08:56Incorporated,
00:08:57with a complete line of household appliances and appur...
00:08:59It's the lady of the house, then!
00:09:01No!
00:09:21Here you are, folks! Step right up! Step right up!
00:09:27My company has authorized me to offer,
00:09:30at its last prices,
00:09:32this complete line of laugh provoker!
00:09:35The Little Gem Flower Squirter!
00:09:37Now, don't crowd! Don't crowd!
00:09:40Well, isn't anybody gonna crowd?
00:09:44Anybody?
00:09:46How about a Joe Myler joke book?
00:09:49He laughs galore.
00:09:52Hey, Jack's Rib Tickler, ma'am!
00:09:54Amuse your boyfriend!
00:09:56It's used like a nice...
00:10:00Special price on chicken inspector badge, sir!
00:10:03It's just...
00:10:05It's only 13 cents.
00:10:08Amuse your friends with a 200-volt electric hand buzzer!
00:10:16It's shocking!
00:10:18We interrupt this program for the latest news update
00:10:20on the health of world-renowned tycoon and financier J.P. Cubish.
00:10:24Special Bulletin!
00:10:25J.P. Cubish, the multimillionaire, is in a critical condition.
00:10:28The ailing buzzsaw baron, who has not laughed in 50 years,
00:10:31has been quoted as saying that he would give a million dollars
00:10:33for one good laugh before he passes on.
00:10:36And your grand-grand now...
00:10:37Suffering, sucker, thatch! What am I waiting for?
00:10:39I'll make that old sad sack bust a theme laughing!
00:10:48Hmm...
00:10:49Imposing-looking pile.
00:10:51Your troubles are over, Jeeves!
00:10:55Lead me to your stricken master!
00:10:57Begone!
00:10:58Can't go in, huh?
00:10:59Uh, no.
00:11:00Oh, well, no hard feelings!
00:11:01Shake!
00:11:02Shhh!
00:11:03Shhh!
00:11:04Shhh!
00:11:05Shhh!
00:11:06Shhh!
00:11:07Anche your cigarette?
00:11:08Oh-o-o-oh!
00:11:13Oh, you can see him!
00:11:14Oh!
00:11:15Oh!
00:11:16Oh!
00:11:17Oh!
00:11:18Oh!
00:11:19Oh!
00:11:20Oh!
00:11:21Oh, you can see him!
00:11:22Oh!
00:11:23Oh!
00:11:24Oh!
00:11:25Oh!
00:11:26Oh!
00:11:27Oh!
00:11:28Right this way!
00:11:29And that's just a sample,
00:11:30just a sample, ruggles,
00:11:31of what I can do for your master.
00:11:34Through hell, sir.
00:11:35Thank you, boy.
00:11:36Thank you, boy.
00:11:44Watch that first step, Meadows. It's a dilly.
00:11:47Swingin' in the bathtub.
00:11:50I was a bit dusty.
00:11:55Xena's Little Giant Wall Scaler.
00:12:06What the hell, my chief?
00:12:09What, bring them back all the waters and hide them.
00:12:36What, bring them back.
00:13:01Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael, Michael.
00:13:06Skull.
00:13:07Skull.
00:13:08Oh!
00:13:15Oh!
00:13:23Oh.
00:13:28Oh.
00:13:36Oh.
00:13:37Oh.
00:13:38Oh.
00:13:39Oh.
00:13:40Oh.
00:13:41Oh.
00:13:42Oh.
00:13:43Oh.
00:13:44Oh.
00:13:45Oh.
00:13:46Oh.
00:13:47Oh.
00:13:48Hey.
00:13:49Oh.
00:13:50Oh.
00:13:51Oh.
00:13:52Oh.
00:13:53Oh.
00:13:54Oh.
00:13:55Oh.
00:13:56Oh.
00:13:57good health but i that b said butler should endeavor to remove from the premises the only
00:14:03person capable of restoring said health to said master uh no no where were you the night of april
00:14:11the sixties a likely story i see it all now you and the upstairs maid do the old boy in you said
00:14:20elderberry wine and old lace you said then the quick getaway you said rio de janeiro tropical
00:14:27nights romance and a heavy bank account no no yes yes but you weren't smart enough john alias johnny
00:14:36alias jack alias jackie what's humphrey bogart got that i ain't got but i but but you you but just
00:14:45to show you i'm not all copper i'm gonna give you a 10 minute head start but i don't try to fight me
00:14:51now get going hurry they're on your trail run out this way and stay on the straight and narrow
00:14:58now to business lace your corset jp here i come
00:15:03don't worry gramps we'll have you fixed up in a jiffy
00:15:16what's that for bub i haven't even started yet what's the matter you see anything green
00:15:36and he flies on me
00:15:49Ha, ha, ha!
00:16:19Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:16:39And to my beloved mascot, Daffy Duck,
00:16:43who has given me much solace in my final days,
00:16:46I leave the bulk of my financial assets
00:16:50with the provision that Daffy used the money
00:16:53to exemplify the highest spirit of American free enterprise
00:16:57and display honesty in all business affairs.
00:17:09Woo-hoo!
00:17:10The perfect lamb!
00:17:16I'm in the money, I'm in the money.
00:17:21I've got a lot of what it takes to get along.
00:17:24Ah, upward mobility.
00:17:26The smell of it.
00:17:28Gads, that cubish.
00:17:30What a rube.
00:17:31Honesty in business affairs.
00:17:33Honesty in business affairs.
00:17:35How corny can you get?
00:17:36I mean, what's he gonna do?
00:17:38He can't take it with him.
00:17:42Oh, no?
00:17:46Cuba!
00:17:49Cubish!
00:17:59What?
00:18:00No!
00:18:02Cut it out, would you?
00:18:04You must use the money for good in the world.
00:18:07Yeah, use it for good.
00:18:10Strange that you should mention that.
00:18:12My very intention.
00:18:14You took the words right out of my mouth.
00:18:16You must provide a service to the community.
00:18:19Yup.
00:18:20Uh-huh.
00:18:21Sure, sure.
00:18:22Community service.
00:18:23It's the American way.
00:18:25Gee, what a hypocrite.
00:18:27What a jip.
00:18:28Community service, huh?
00:18:30I'll give them community service.
00:18:32I'll see to it that angry ghosts are wiped from the face of the earth.
00:18:37I'll rid the world of disgusting ectoplasmic slime like J.P. Cubish.
00:18:43Quite artistic, if I do say so myself.
00:18:56Things are really looking up.
00:18:58Nice new office.
00:18:59Appropriate decor.
00:19:00And me, set to embark on a potentielle lucrative business endeavor.
00:19:10Ah.
00:19:13Yup.
00:19:14The supernatural is a wide open field.
00:19:16There are any number of crackpots out there who think they've seen a spook or something.
00:19:20It's supply and demand.
00:19:22They supply the ghosts, and I demand the money.
00:19:25All of which is safely ensconced herein.
00:19:30Sixteen million.
00:19:33Seventeen or something.
00:19:35Twenty-six.
00:19:37Twenty-seven.
00:19:38Okay.
00:19:39It's all here.
00:19:40What's left of it, anyway?
00:19:42Now all's I need is some underlings to boss around.
00:19:45After all, somebody's gotta do the dirty work.
00:19:48Which reminds me, where is that stupid rabbit?
00:19:51He was supposed to be here an hour ago.
00:19:53I think he's such a big star.
00:19:58Not again.
00:19:59Eek.
00:20:02What'd I say?
00:20:03What'd I say?
00:20:04I know.
00:20:05I know.
00:20:06It was what I said about the rabbit.
00:20:07Right?
00:20:08Well, uh...
00:20:09I take it back.
00:20:10He's a swell rabbit.
00:20:11He'll be a valued entrusted associate.
00:20:16All right, all right.
00:20:17I'll make him vice president.
00:20:20Cubish!
00:20:21I'll get you a gift.
00:20:22I'll get you a gift.
00:20:31Well, seeing is believing.
00:20:33Daffy Duck Paranormalist.
00:20:35That's right.
00:20:36Paranormalist.
00:20:37We'll be a pair of paranormalists.
00:20:40Get it?
00:20:41Perhaps you were wondering why I called you here today.
00:20:44Well, uh...
00:20:45Actually, I was just in the neighborhood and I...
00:20:47And you couldn't wait to lend your support to my little crusade against the undead.
00:20:51I tell you, it's a crisis of epidemic proportions.
00:20:55All these vampires, zombies, and men from Mars traipsing about?
00:20:59The streets aren't safe.
00:21:01Something's got to be done about it.
00:21:03Okay, okay, but why me?
00:21:05It's your civic responsibility.
00:21:07The public will listen to you.
00:21:09A veritable paragon of wholesome family entertainment.
00:21:13Yech.
00:21:14Gee, uh...
00:21:15I don't know.
00:21:16This was supposed to be my vacation and...
00:21:18Vacation, did you say?
00:21:20We offer marvelous travel opportunities.
00:21:22Palm Springs?
00:21:23Well, uh...
00:21:25Close to it, anyway.
00:21:26How's the Bermuda Triangle?
00:21:28We'll see what we can do.
00:21:30Hmm.
00:21:31He looks cool-headed enough.
00:21:33Time to test his metal under honest-to-goodness field conditions.
00:21:37I'll give him the treatment.
00:21:47Gas?
00:21:58So, is it a deal?
00:21:59Sure, sure.
00:22:00Just call me if you need me.
00:22:03And by the way, you never looked lovelier.
00:22:10I love these novelty accoutrements.
00:22:13They're a riot at parties.
00:22:15But I wonder if that rabbit will be able to cut to mustard.
00:22:18Perhaps he needs a little backup.
00:22:20Now, for some creative recruitment tactics.
00:22:24Porky Pig, huh?
00:22:25Well, you couldn't ask for a better pigeon than that.
00:22:34And then there are the numerous fringe benefits.
00:22:37Such as our generous employee insurance policy.
00:22:40You may rest assured that if anything happens to you, I'll be well taken care of.
00:22:45So, are you in?
00:22:46Why, yes, Mr. Duck.
00:22:48I would dearly love to join forces with your brave band of ghost exterminators.
00:22:55Do you think you have what it takes?
00:22:57Oh, yes, sir.
00:22:58I'll give him the acid test.
00:23:00Oh, and one more thing.
00:23:02Anyone that works with me should never get me riled.
00:23:05Oh, and why not?
00:23:07Because I'm a split personality.
00:23:10That's why not.
00:23:11I'm two people in one.
00:23:12A schi...
00:23:13A schi...
00:23:14A schi...
00:23:15A schizophreniac.
00:23:16When people are nice to me, I'm sweet, gentle, and loving.
00:23:21Hello, baby.
00:23:22Nice, fat, little butterball.
00:23:25Oh, now stop.
00:23:28But when some wise guy starts pushing me around, look out.
00:23:33I turn into a hideous monster.
00:23:41Get the idea, buster?
00:23:50I do.
00:23:51I do indeed.
00:23:52I do.
00:23:53And I'll be real nice and kind and gentle to you.
00:23:56Oh, brother, have I got this chump going.
00:24:13What a knucklehead falling for that split personality monster gag.
00:24:18Well, that treacherous trickster.
00:24:21I'll show him who's a knucklehead.
00:24:23I'll give him a dose of his own medicine.
00:24:26I hope I look scary enough.
00:24:30Well, I think I'll go scare some more daylights out of the little butterball.
00:24:44Suffering catfish!
00:24:46I didn't realize I was that idiot.
00:24:49I'm not.
00:25:01Gosh, what a scaredy cat.
00:25:03Anybody who'd be scared of a masquerade costume is a craven little coward.
00:25:08Take it easy, fat stuff.
00:25:11I was just testing you.
00:25:13Good news.
00:25:14You got the job.
00:25:19You passed with flying colors.
00:25:22You are too kind.
00:25:29Hello, Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, and Porky Pig, paranormalists at large.
00:25:34Porky Pig speaking.
00:25:37Yes.
00:25:39Yes, we do.
00:25:40We'd be happy to send you our free brochure.
00:25:43Daffy Duck's the name.
00:25:45The Supernatural's my game.
00:25:48What's that?
00:25:49You say the Loch Ness Monster is living in your jacuzzi?
00:25:53Well, call Roto-Rooter.
00:25:55Crank call.
00:25:56All's I can say is never underestimate the power of the media.
00:26:00The phone's been ringing off the hook ever since we started advertising on TV.
00:26:05What the...
00:26:06Now, how did he get in here?
00:26:07How many times do I have to tell you, no pets in the office?
00:26:10Why don't you ever listen to me?
00:26:12You got wax in your ears?
00:26:14I...
00:26:15Ooh!
00:26:18Eeps!
00:26:19I've heard of deflation, but this is preposterous.
00:26:26Cease!
00:26:27Desist!
00:26:28Wait.
00:26:29I gotcha.
00:26:30I gotta be nicer to my slave labor, right?
00:26:32Chubby over there.
00:26:34I thought so.
00:26:35Say no more.
00:26:36I'll treat him with kid gloves.
00:26:39Sorry, Snuggles.
00:26:40I didn't mean to startle you.
00:26:41I may be in the chips, but I don't forget the little people I've stepped on along the way.
00:26:46I'll give you a raise.
00:26:47Two raises.
00:26:48Bonuses galore.
00:26:49I'll...
00:26:50Oop!
00:26:51Okay.
00:26:52That's it.
00:26:53Get out of here.
00:26:54Why, I oughta...
00:26:56What a sweet little fellow we are.
00:26:58But my, don't we look peaked?
00:27:00Sort of wan and sallow-like.
00:27:02How thoughtless of me to have left you cooped up in this stuffy old office.
00:27:09There, now.
00:27:10Here's the nice spacious window ledge for you to stretch out on.
00:27:16And now...
00:27:17Quiet!
00:27:18Our commercial's coming on!
00:27:19And your entire family...
00:27:20Hello folks.
00:27:21I don't know about you...
00:27:22But as for me...
00:27:27I think I am a pretentious advocate for you to sign.
00:27:33Yeah.
00:27:34A doll's got a pet out of that.
00:27:35And we are able toóm...
00:27:36Pardon me, your eminence.
00:27:37But I have some...
00:27:39H-p-p-p-p-p...
00:27:40Some correspondence for you to sign.
00:27:41Quiet!
00:27:42Our commercial's coming on!
00:27:43And your entire family...
00:27:45Hello folks.
00:27:47Folks, I don't know about you, but as for me, there's nothing more upsetting than having a bunch of unwelcome ghosts and ghouls clanking around the house.
00:27:57Did you ever have one of those mornings when you wake up to a whole series of unexplainable phenomena?
00:28:13What's up, Doc?
00:28:15What?
00:28:15No!
00:28:16What's going on around here?
00:28:18Where is...
00:28:19Where am I, anyway?
00:28:23If you've ever had this problem, and who hasn't, just call Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny, and Porky Pig, paranormalists at large.
00:28:34Spooked, spooked, goblins gobbled, UFOs KO'd, aliens alienated, vampires evaporated, and monsters remonstrated.
00:28:43Just call 555-5925.
00:28:47Remember, that's the same as dialing 555-KOWACK.
00:28:52A masterpiece!
00:28:54Even better the 47th time you see it.
00:28:57But too bad the rabbit had to overact so much.
00:29:00Oh my gosh.
00:29:04Ugh!
00:29:13The�� 255-5925.
00:29:17I don't know how much is the bullshit.
00:29:18Well, I don't know what he means for don't you think it has to do and you happy to wake up so much.
00:29:19I have no idea why you hear me.
00:29:20off, York City.
00:29:21Oh my god, and I know what you...
00:29:22Do you see?
00:29:22I mean you will...
00:29:22Oh my god.
00:29:23Oh my god.
00:29:23Oh my god!
00:29:24Oh my god!
00:29:25I was...
00:29:26Muah! Muah!
00:29:29Muah! Muah!
00:29:56Muah!
00:30:01Just being a pussycat is a constant hazard.
00:30:15Phew. They still haven't perfected flying.
00:30:20I thought I'd draw a pussycat.
00:30:26I'd better hide.
00:30:32Or that bad old puttycat don't adept me.
00:30:52No use hiding, bird.
00:30:55I know you're around here somewhere.
00:31:03You bad old puttycat.
00:31:05You bad old puttycat.
00:31:06Muah!
00:31:08Muah!
00:31:09Muah!
00:31:18Muah!
00:31:19Muah!
00:31:20Muah!
00:31:21Muah!
00:31:22Muah!
00:31:23Muah!
00:31:30Open up!
00:31:31Open up, I say!
00:31:32Open this door or I'll knock it down!
00:31:36Come on!
00:31:41Muah!
00:31:46Muah!
00:31:48Muah!
00:31:50No!
00:31:52Muah!
00:31:54Muah!
00:31:55Oh, my God.
00:32:25I'll jump.
00:32:35I've got a choice.
00:32:37Ah!
00:32:51Fly! Fly faster!
00:32:53Fly harder!
00:32:54Fly! Fly!
00:33:14He's a killer!
00:33:16Help! Save me!
00:33:17Ah! Ah! Ah!
00:33:18Save me!
00:33:19He's a killer!
00:33:20Help!
00:33:24Ha! I gotcha!
00:33:30And just to make sure you don't get out and that goon don't get in,
00:33:34I'm locking the door and tossing the key out the window.
00:33:38There!
00:33:39And now for that Tweety sandwich I've been dreaming of.
00:33:43Stop squirming!
00:33:48I can't stand a sore loser.
00:33:51Now for a little seasoning.
00:33:53There's cloves,
00:33:55Tabasco sauce,
00:33:56What?
00:33:59No ketchup?
00:34:01Well, I guess I'll just have to eat you without...
00:34:04Ketchup!
00:34:08Help! Open the door!
00:34:10Help! I'm locked in with a killer!
00:34:12Ah! Help! Help!
00:34:13Ah! Ah! Ah!
00:34:15Help!
00:34:15Save me! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Save me!
00:34:29He's a killer!
00:34:30Help!
00:34:33This is the incident of Sylvester.
00:34:35Most Outrageous Exhibition of Wanton Cowardice.
00:34:46Shameful.
00:34:48Yeah! Shameful!
00:34:51You see, Sylvester,
00:34:53Now, where have you been?
00:34:59What's gotten into you?
00:35:00He's a complete basket case.
00:35:09One word.
00:35:13Rhinophorus?
00:35:16Quasimodo?
00:35:22Monster!
00:35:23Why, uh, that's just a little old canary bird, uh, fluttering in the breeze.
00:35:35You, uh, yellow dog of the cowardly Sylvester, you.
00:35:41Now, Sylvester, come on off of there.
00:35:45Yes, yes.
00:35:47Hmm, yes.
00:35:49You ought to be, uh, be clawed, you see,
00:35:51silly ninny, you.
00:35:54Okay, that's it.
00:35:57You're done.
00:35:58Fired.
00:35:58Pink slip without pay.
00:36:02How's about you and your darling pet
00:36:04taking a little excursion to...
00:36:07the two...
00:36:09to the resort town of Dry Gulch.
00:36:12There's something screwy going on down there.
00:36:15Terror in the tumbleweeds and that sort of thing.
00:36:17You, you, you, you, you, never fear.
00:36:20My eagle eye will be ever alert
00:36:22to anything out of the ordinary, ordinary, ordinary, ordinary, uh, anything unusual.
00:36:27Uh, uh, uh, uh, gosh, Sylvester, isn't it wonderful?
00:36:30Uh, uh, an all-expense, uh, uh, paid vacation.
00:36:33Hey, easy on the expenses, Jack.
00:36:36And take that panicky feline with you.
00:36:38Come along now, you p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pusil-animous pussycat you.
00:36:46Well, Sylvester, here we are.
00:36:49Dry Gulch, our first assignment.
00:36:53Golly, I've always wanted to go out west.
00:36:56Haven't you seen, Sylvester?
00:36:58It's so quaint and picturesque.
00:37:04I don't think we're ever going to find any poltergeist out here.
00:37:17Dry Gulch Hotel.
00:37:19How opportune.
00:37:21I hope they're not full up.
00:37:23Come on, Sylvester.
00:37:24I'm afraid we'll just have to wake somebody up.
00:37:28It's this, Sylvester.
00:37:45Oh, don't be ridiculous.
00:37:47Now, come on, get down from there.
00:37:51I ought to clobber you.
00:37:54Come on, you great yellow cat, you.
00:37:58What now?
00:38:08Brother, the things I have to put up with,
00:38:10with this idiotic cat.
00:38:13It's just a little teeny harmless spider,
00:38:16you shameless craven, you.
00:38:18Now, come on, I'm sleepy.
00:38:28I'll just ring for the night clerk.
00:38:39I guess they're all asleep,
00:38:41so I think we'd better just sign the register
00:38:44and look up a room for ourselves.
00:38:46We'll straighten the whole thing out in the morning.
00:38:51All right, what's the big idea pushing me?
00:38:58Oh, don't be such an idiot.
00:39:08What are you? Schizofre-free? Schizofre-free?
00:39:11Schizofre-free? Schizofre...
00:39:13Manic-depressive or something?
00:39:16?
00:39:27Sylvester!
00:39:28What are you trying to do?
00:39:31Wake everybody in the house?
00:39:33Of all these screwball ideas,
00:39:36fighting with stuffed animals!
00:39:38Weren't we lucky to find an unoccupied sweet, Sylvester?
00:39:41Unoccupied suite, Sylvester?
00:39:42Now, let's go to sleep.
00:39:44You'll feel a lot better in the morning.
00:39:47You're a psychopathic old pussycat, you.
00:40:00Wait, wait, wait, I can't breathe.
00:40:03What's going on?
00:40:04Hey, hey, hey.
00:40:07Sylvester, what are you doing?
00:40:11What are you doing with that rope and that razor?
00:40:27That settles it.
00:40:29Out you go.
00:40:30Out, out, out, out, out, out.
00:40:41What?
00:40:42Get off of me.
00:40:43Get out of here.
00:40:44What's the big idea?
00:40:45What are you up to now, Sylvester?
00:40:47Sylvester, you come out of there this instant.
00:40:51Uh, uh, uh, we, uh, we, uh, well?
00:40:52Oh, uh, cut it out.
00:40:53Uh, uh, cut it out.
00:40:54Uh, of all, uh, nonsense.
00:40:55Uh, I guess the only way you'll be safe from the bogeyman is to sleep here with me.
00:41:09You, uh, the, the, the, the poll troon of a chicken cat, you.
00:41:12Oh, uh, cut it out.
00:41:14Of all nonsense,
00:41:16I guess the only way you'll be safe from the bogeyman
00:41:20is to sleep here with me,
00:41:22you pal-troon of a chicken-cat, you.
00:41:37Mice.
00:41:42Uh, tell me, Sylvester,
00:41:47is there any insanity in your family?
00:41:50Uh-huh.
00:41:51Uh-huh.
00:41:55Uh-huh.
00:41:56Uh-huh.
00:41:58Uh-huh.
00:42:00Uh-huh.
00:42:01Uh-huh.
00:42:02Uh-huh.
00:42:03Uh-huh.
00:42:04Uh-huh.
00:42:05Uh-huh.
00:42:06Uh-huh.
00:42:07Uh-huh.
00:42:08Uh-huh.
00:42:09Uh-huh.
00:42:10Uh-huh.
00:42:11Uh-huh.
00:42:12Uh-huh.
00:42:13Uh-huh.
00:42:14Uh-uh.
00:42:15Uh, what a lovely morning.
00:42:16This really is a restful place.
00:42:18Well, I think we'll just stay here for a week or ten days and get really rested up.
00:42:23Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam
00:42:27And the deer and the antelope
00:42:29And the deer and the antelope
00:42:32And the deer and the antelope
00:42:34And the deer and the antelope
00:42:37And the deer
00:42:48And now, an important message for you and your entire family.
00:42:57Yow! Yikes! Yow! Yieee!
00:43:02Bothered by monsters?
00:43:05Not to worry. Our highly skilled professional staff
00:43:09Is equipped to handle any supernatural emergency
00:43:12Using only the most advanced techniques.
00:43:15My associate shall now demonstrate.
00:43:18My stars, where did you ever get that awful hairdo?
00:43:23It doesn't become you at all.
00:43:25For goodness sakes, let me fix it up.
00:43:29Look how stringy and messy it is. What a shame.
00:43:33Such an interesting monster, too.
00:43:36My stars, if an interesting monster can't have an interesting hairdo
00:43:42Then I don't know what things are coming to.
00:43:46In my business, you meet so many interesting people.
00:43:50Bobby pins, please.
00:43:51But the most interesting ones are the monsters.
00:43:54Oh, dear. That'll never stay.
00:43:56We'll just have to have a permanent.
00:43:59Now, I've got to give an interesting old lady a manicure.
00:44:08But I'll be back before you're done.
00:44:10So, folks, call Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Parky Pig.
00:44:17Paranormalists at large.
00:44:20Spooked spooked, goblins gobbled, UFOs KO'd, aliens alienated, vampires evaporated, and monsters remonstrated.
00:44:30Just call 555-5925.
00:44:33Remember, that's the same as dialing 555-KOWACK.
00:44:45Daffy Duck, anything for a buck?
00:44:47Mr. Duck, I seem to be having trouble with my kitchen appliances.
00:44:52Listen, lady, this ain't no electricians.
00:44:55Well, it isn't quite that kind of trouble.
00:44:58Your ad says paranormal expert and...
00:45:01Oh, I get it. Monsters in the microwave, bats in the blender, that sort of thing.
00:45:06No problem. Just slip into something out of this world and I'll be right over.
00:45:11A damsel in distress ended a swanky part of town.
00:45:19Okay, so where's the fire?
00:45:22It's in the oven, I presume.
00:45:25Whoops! My mistake.
00:45:28Nothing a little oozy off couldn't fix.
00:45:33Hmm, must be the frost-free kind.
00:45:40Phew! I could use some liquid refreshment.
00:45:43Say, lady, where do you keep your glasses?
00:45:47They're in the cupboard.
00:45:49Hmm, it's getting a little crowded in here.
00:45:55Let's say we mosey on into some place a little more cozy-like and talk things over.
00:46:07So, uh, you have these Tupperware parties often?
00:46:14Oh, Daffy, you're so witty.
00:46:17Yes, I am witty at that. How very perceptive of you to notice.
00:46:21Oh, Daffy, I'm so scared.
00:46:24And it's so comforting to have a short, dark, handsome duck like you to protect me.
00:46:30You will help me, won't you?
00:46:32Sure, sweetums. It's in the bag.
00:46:39Well, with a little cooperation in the proper setting, we could hold hands and have a seance.
00:46:44Handy things, these seances.
00:46:46Gosh, I don't know my own strength.
00:47:00Come on down to Poppa, baby.
00:47:02Ooh, big, strong, Daffy, Waffy gonna protect little itty-bitty me?
00:47:08Oh, brother, not another schizophrenic dame.
00:47:11Hey, Sybil, any more like you and a family?
00:47:14Could you send back that older sister of yours?
00:47:23Oh, yay. Oop, it's day. Erk, Jay.
00:47:28And I thought French was a romantic language.
00:47:30Mary had a little lamb.
00:47:33But I ate it!
00:47:35So, uh, tell me, mein Fräulein, when did you start hearing these voices?
00:47:45Uh, was it, uh, something in your childhood, perhaps?
00:47:48Buried deep in your subconscious mind?
00:47:51Search your memory.
00:47:56You're blocking.
00:47:58You're blocking.
00:47:59You're blocking.
00:48:00You're blocking.
00:48:01You're blocking.
00:48:02You're blocking.
00:48:03You're blocking.
00:48:08This is a little over my head.
00:48:10Here we are, how to exercise.
00:48:12Just the ticket.
00:48:13If this doesn't get her, nothing will.
00:48:15One and two and three and four.
00:48:18Uh, one and two and three and...
00:48:21Oops.
00:48:22My error.
00:48:27Ah, here it is.
00:48:28The real McCoy.
00:48:30Of utmost importance in the exorcism of spirits
00:48:36is to keep them amused.
00:48:38Keep them amused, huh?
00:48:39I'll fly them.
00:48:40Guy came up to me on the street,
00:48:42said he hadn't had a bite in weeks.
00:48:44So, I bit him.
00:48:51Howdy, stranger.
00:48:53Just flew in from another world, huh?
00:48:55I'll bet your arms are tired.
00:49:01Hmm.
00:49:02They don't seem all that amused.
00:49:04Maybe it's the culture gap.
00:49:06I'll try something a little closer to home.
00:49:09Did you hear the one about the girl
00:49:10who didn't pay her exorcist bill?
00:49:12Her soul got repossessed.
00:49:22What?
00:49:24Oh?
00:49:25Huh?
00:49:26Why, I feel like my old self again.
00:49:29Nothing to it, really.
00:49:31For one of my sophisticated wit.
00:49:35Uh-oh.
00:49:42Oh, ooh-ooh.
00:49:43The tickles.
00:49:44Oh, my hero.
00:49:45Mm!
00:49:46Ah!
00:49:47Ah!
00:49:48Oh, my hero.
00:49:49Ah!
00:49:50Ah.
00:49:51Oh, ah.
00:49:52Ah!
00:49:53Ah!
00:49:57Ah!
00:49:58Ah!
00:50:00Ah!
00:50:05Ah!
00:50:06Ah!
00:50:07Ah!
00:50:08Phew, what a fiasco.
00:50:16House calls are definitely hazardous to my health.
00:50:26Cubish.
00:50:27Let's see what my nemesis has been up to in my absence.
00:50:33Yow!
00:50:34The money supply is dwindling.
00:50:39I'm down to my last million.
00:50:42Yes, please, anything.
00:50:44Porky Pig reporting for duty, noble leader.
00:50:49Oh, it's you.
00:50:50So, what's the story?
00:50:52Any ghouls in their hills?
00:50:54Sorry, sir.
00:50:56Perfectly uneventful trip.
00:50:58Except for this terrible headache.
00:51:01I guess I'm not used to the brisk desert climate.
00:51:06Well, there's something screwy going on around there, buddy.
00:51:10I've been getting lots of calls about suspicious-like activity.
00:51:13Why don't you head on down to the Superstition Mountains and do some more snooping?
00:51:18You're bound to find some rich nut who's superstitious enough to pay us royally for our services.
00:51:23Boldly go where no pig has gone before.
00:51:30Great news, Sylvester.
00:51:33We're off to the Superstition Mountains.
00:51:38Bills, bills, bills.
00:51:40It's positively stiltified.
00:51:42But I don't mind paying them.
00:51:44Nice bills.
00:51:45Good bills.
00:51:46Can't get enough of them.
00:51:47Some rich sucker for the supernatural better materialize soon.
00:51:54Daffy Duck, paranormalist, par excellence.
00:51:58Hello, please.
00:51:58This is a person-to-person collect call to Mr. Daffy Duck from Outer Transylvania.
00:52:02Go ahead, please.
00:52:04I want to bite your neck.
00:52:06No, no.
00:52:07Don't drive that wooden snake through my arm.
00:52:12Transylvania?
00:52:13Yuck.
00:52:14What a gruesome affirmation.
00:52:15But still, somebody's got to go there.
00:52:18I can't afford to leave any stone unturned.
00:52:21Ah, I got it.
00:52:22I'll stick the nasty job on that underemployed rabbit.
00:52:26After all, I did promise him travel opportunities, and...
00:52:30Go ahead.
00:52:31It's your quarter.
00:52:32Guess what, pal?
00:52:33I pulled a few strings, sliced through some bureaucratic red tape, and...
00:52:37You mean I get to go to Palm Springs?
00:52:39Well, not to Palm Springs, exactly, but someplace even balmier.
00:52:44Scenic Transylvania.
00:52:46Tourist spot of the Western world.
00:52:49I hear it's simply breathtaking this time of year.
00:52:52Just call me when you get there, and we'll map out your strategy.
00:52:55Oh, wow, what a belt.
00:53:20These Transylvanian hardwoods ain't too soft.
00:53:23Who is that delicious young creature, Emily?
00:53:29Uh-oh.
00:53:30Uh, good morning, ladies.
00:53:32Uh, lady, could you direct me to the nearest teleophone?
00:53:35Doesn't he look sweet and crunchy, Agatha?
00:53:39Oh, well, never mind.
00:53:41I'll just check at that motel over there.
00:53:43Boy, they don't make places like this anymore.
00:53:46Be a wonderful place for a vacation.
00:53:49Sorry to disturb you, sir, I'm...
00:53:57I'd like to use your teleophone.
00:53:59Uh, I know it's late, but, uh...
00:54:01No, no.
00:54:03It's never too late.
00:54:05Come in.
00:54:06Yeah, well, you see, I just want to call my partner in the USA
00:54:10to tell him I've arrived in your charming country.
00:54:15Boy, keen-looking lobby they got here.
00:54:20Uh, telephones.
00:54:21Uh, telephones.
00:54:23Why do hotels always hide their telephone...
00:54:28booths?
00:54:28Oh, uh, yeah.
00:54:31You must be the head waiter.
00:54:33Count, blood count, at your service, sir.
00:54:38Yeah.
00:54:39Well, look, Archon, about those telephones.
00:54:43Telephones.
00:54:44Telephones.
00:54:46Um, oh, yes.
00:54:48Right this way.
00:54:50Say, nice little plant you've got here, Doc.
00:54:53Interesting decor, homey, comfortable.
00:54:56Nice recreational facilities.
00:54:57Nothing like family portraits to brighten up a place, I always say.
00:55:14This is your room.
00:55:17Uh, yeah, sure, Doc.
00:55:18But I don't want a room.
00:55:20I just want a telephone.
00:55:22Rest first.
00:55:23Telephone tomorrow.
00:55:24Rest is good for the blood.
00:55:31Well, I am a little fatty-gued.
00:55:34Goodbye, little friend.
00:55:37I mean, good night.
00:55:39Asleep yet?
00:55:42Nope.
00:55:44Well, ring if you need anything.
00:55:47Pop cyanide or like that.
00:55:49Same old problem.
00:55:51I just can't sleep in a strange bed no matter how nice the place is.
00:55:55Hey, that's what I need.
00:56:00Something to read.
00:56:01Hmm.
00:56:02Magic words and phrases.
00:56:05Sounds interesting.
00:56:07Yeah.
00:56:07Magic can be performed either by potions or by the use of magic words and phrases.
00:56:19Among the most powerful of these is the word ab-ab-cadabra.
00:56:25Uh, yeah, oh, sure it is.
00:56:29Sick humor.
00:56:31It is to laugh.
00:56:32Magic words.
00:56:34Cully, what big mosquitoes they do have around here.
00:56:38Hold still, you little devil.
00:56:41There.
00:56:41There.
00:56:48Another highly useful magic word is hocus pocus.
00:56:53Anyone we know, Agatha?
00:57:00No.
00:57:01Splendid-looking specimen, though.
00:57:04Boy, I hope the restaurant's still open.
00:57:06I haven't eaten since I left Coocamonga.
00:57:11Another one?
00:57:19They ought to scream this place.
00:57:21Hocus pocus.
00:57:30Hocus pocus.
00:57:39I am a vampire.
00:57:42Oh, yeah?
00:57:43Well, abacadabra.
00:57:45I'm an umpire.
00:57:48Hocus pocus.
00:57:49I'm a bat.
00:57:50I'm a bat.
00:57:51Okay.
00:57:52I'm a bat, too.
00:57:53Abacadabra.
00:57:56You wouldn't hit the bat with glasses on, would you?
00:58:04Hocus pocus.
00:58:07Now I crush you.
00:58:10Abacadabra.
00:58:10Hocus pocus.
00:58:11Hocus pocus.
00:58:12Newport News.
00:58:13Wow.
00:58:14I can do better than that.
00:58:15I'm a bat.
00:58:16I'm a bat.
00:58:17I'm a bat.
00:58:18I'm a bat.
00:58:19I'm a bat.
00:58:20I'm a bat.
00:58:21I'm a bat.
00:58:22I'm a bat.
00:58:23If you love you too, you're right, boy.
00:58:25I'm a bat with a bat.
00:58:29Whether they go up or everything or buy you, hurry.
00:58:32Are they ready?
00:58:43Oh, uh, Goyos?
00:58:48Emily, look.
00:58:50It's our little friend.
00:58:53Look, Emily.
00:58:57Isn't it romantic?
00:58:59I always said four heads are better than one.
00:59:03Well, a telephone at last.
00:59:07Hello, uh, operator?
00:59:09Could you please connect me with a certain Mr. Daffy Duck
00:59:12in New York City, USA?
00:59:15Da-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-dee-abricapocus.
00:59:20So what's a bad word?
00:59:22Anything inexplicable to write home about?
00:59:25Eh, nothing special,
00:59:26but I did manage to bring together
00:59:28two lovely couples who have a lot in common.
00:59:31What do you think we're running here?
00:59:32A matrimonial agency?
00:59:34Just like that rabbit.
00:59:36The company's crashing down around me,
00:59:38and he gets sentimental.
00:59:42Let's see now. Let's see. Form A-62B.
00:59:46I can deduct 30,000 because of my winning personality,
00:59:49but wait, according to Schedule 77,
00:59:52since I was born in a month with an R in it,
00:59:55I can write off this, subtract that, carry the one, and...
01:00:00These new simplified tax forms are driving me nuts!
01:00:05Setbacks.
01:00:06Setbacks.
01:00:07Oh, I got it.
01:00:17I'll claim my deceased Uncle Robespierre Duck as a dependent.
01:00:21What the IRS don't know won't hurt him.
01:00:24Nothing simpler than a little juggling of the books.
01:00:28Oh, come on. I like to juggle books.
01:00:31It's good, clean, harmless fun.
01:00:33See? Juggling. It's my hobby.
01:00:36Uh, uh, hello?
01:00:41Himalayas, a giant monster, running amok, ruining poorest trade.
01:00:49Come quick.
01:00:51Help!
01:00:55The Himalayas. Duty calls.
01:00:58I'll hop down there, make short order of this Bigfoot thing,
01:01:02and they'll generously reward me with Tibetan beads and trinkets.
01:01:07But you know, giant monsters aren't exactly my forte.
01:01:11I could use a front man to take some of the lumps.
01:01:15Hmm, sounds to me like another menial task for that dumb bunny.
01:01:19Transylvania, Transylvania, where is that stupid number?
01:01:23Yes?
01:01:24Hello, uh, Bugs? Uh, Daffy here.
01:01:28Uh, how's about a nice executive junket to...
01:01:33No, not Palm Springs!
01:01:34To the rugged Himalayas.
01:01:35Seems the local yokels have a problem with some giant.
01:01:36Must be some kind of a native superstition.
01:01:37Here we are!
01:01:54Seems the local yokels have a problem with some giant.
01:01:57Must be some kind of a native superstition.
01:02:05Here we are, the Himalayas.
01:02:08What a way for a duck to travel.
01:02:10Underground.
01:02:11Crymonet leaves. It's cold.
01:02:14Good thing I packed my winter wardrobe.
01:02:16I don't see any giant.
01:02:18Come to think of it, I don't even see any Himalayans.
01:02:21You know, if we just reroute through Albuquerque,
01:02:24we could probably hit Palm Springs by this afternoon.
01:02:27You and your one-track mind.
01:02:29First things first, Buster.
01:02:31There's still a little matter of this giant to take care of.
01:02:34Guess I'll backtrack a bit.
01:02:36I must have missed something on the way.
01:02:38All right, what's holding up the works?
01:02:52What's all the... the... the...
01:02:55Oh, what a cute little pink bunny rabbit.
01:03:04Just what I always wanted.
01:03:07My own little bunny rabbit.
01:03:10I will name him George,
01:03:12and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him.
01:03:16I'm not a bunny rabbit.
01:03:17And pat him and pet him and...
01:03:19You are hurting me. Put me down, please.
01:03:22And rub him and caress him and...
01:03:25I ain't no bunny rabbit!
01:03:27Not a bunny rabbit, George?
01:03:30Then how come you have long ears? How come?
01:03:33Long ears?
01:03:34Oh, those aren't ears. Those are sleeves.
01:03:38So, now put me down, please.
01:03:40Oh, George, you were naughty to pretend you was a bunny rabbit.
01:03:45I will punish you good.
01:03:47Bad old George.
01:03:50Look, Doc.
01:03:51I know where there's a real bunny rabbit.
01:03:53A very cuddly and a fobzy rabbit.
01:03:56And then, after a carrot burger and a malt and albacacay...
01:04:00Oh, Bugsy. Bugsy, buddy.
01:04:03Oh, hi. What's up, Doc?
01:04:05Come here, old pal. Hmm.
01:04:08My own little bunny rabbit.
01:04:13Hey, an abominabubble snowman.
01:04:17I will name him George and I will hug him and pet him.
01:04:21Oh, sure. I know I'm a louse.
01:04:23But I'm a live louse.
01:04:25And I will give him security.
01:04:28And I will keep him warm like a mother hen
01:04:31so he will never feel rejected or lack for love.
01:04:35Poor old Bugsy.
01:04:36But any way you look at it, it's better he should suffer.
01:04:39After all, it was me or him.
01:04:41And obviously, it couldn't be me.
01:04:43It's a simple matter of logic.
01:04:45I'm not like other people.
01:04:46I can't stand pain.
01:04:48It hurts me.
01:04:50Okay, Abom. Here's your bunny rabbit.
01:04:53The bunny rabbit, George?
01:04:55Bunny rabbit? Me?
01:04:57Yes, you, Doc.
01:04:59Ho, ho. Very funny. Ha, ha. Very droll.
01:05:02Hey, Shorty.
01:05:03What do you consider to be
01:05:04the distinguishing characteristics of a rabbit?
01:05:07The, uh, distinguishing characteristics?
01:05:11Yeah, yeah.
01:05:12What makes a rabbit look like a rabbit?
01:05:14Why, uh, their long ears.
01:05:17And whom around here has long ears?
01:05:20Sorry to have to do this to you, bud.
01:05:23Eh, don't give it a second thought.
01:05:25Oh, boy.
01:05:27Just what I always wanted.
01:05:29My own little bunny rabbit.
01:05:31They really do make a charming couple.
01:05:34Pat him and squeeze him and rub him and stroke his bill
01:05:38and rub his pretty feathers and...
01:05:40Hey, wait a minute.
01:05:42Bunny rabbits don't have feathers and bills.
01:05:45I know. I know.
01:05:47There goes your bunny rabbit.
01:05:49Hey, uh, uh, George, wait.
01:05:56Ho, ho. Look out, bunny rabbit.
01:05:59This I gotta see.
01:06:06And I searched and I searched.
01:06:09Whew, it's hot.
01:06:11But I never caught up with my little bunny rabbit.
01:06:15Gee, that's tough, Mr. Epdomino Bubble.
01:06:17And now I'll never...
01:06:19Gosh, it's hot.
01:06:20Never see my bunny rabbit again.
01:06:24Don't give up hope yet, Doc.
01:06:26If you love him, he'll come back.
01:06:30Well, here I am.
01:06:31Massacre started yet?
01:06:32Fireworks gone off?
01:06:34Balloon gone up?
01:06:35Oh, boy, a bunny rabbit.
01:06:38Just what I always wanted.
01:06:40I will name him George.
01:06:42And I will hug him and squeeze him
01:06:44and pet him and pat him and...
01:06:46Hey.
01:06:50Hey, what do you know?
01:06:52He melted.
01:06:53He really was a snowman.
01:06:55Abominable, that is.
01:07:00And now, another important message
01:07:03for you and your entire phablet.
01:07:05Ah!
01:07:07Eek!
01:07:08Still bothered by monsters?
01:07:12Don't despair.
01:07:13Our company offers a fine line
01:07:15of magic potions and unguents.
01:07:17Guarantee to rid the home
01:07:18of your supernatural pest.
01:07:20Oops.
01:07:21Here they come.
01:07:33Hmm.
01:07:34Not bad.
01:07:35Hmm.
01:07:36Not bad.
01:07:37Hmm.
01:07:38Not bad.
01:08:03Not bad.
01:08:10So, folks, call Daffy Duck, Bucks Bunny, and Porky Pig.
01:08:14Paranormalists at large.
01:08:16Spooked spooked, goblins gobbled, UFOs KO'd,
01:08:20aliens alienated, vampires evaporated,
01:08:23and monsters remonstrated.
01:08:26Daffy Duck, ace paranormalist at your service.
01:08:30Hello?
01:08:31Hello, Mr. Duck?
01:08:33I want to report an elephant in my birdbath.
01:08:44I beg your pardon, sir.
01:08:45You say there's an elephant in your birdbath?
01:08:49Uh-oh.
01:08:50An obvious nutcase.
01:08:51So there's an elephant in your birdbath.
01:08:54Uh-huh.
01:08:55Yeah.
01:08:56Yeah, well, how does he fit in it, sir?
01:08:58Yeah.
01:08:59I see.
01:09:00The elephant in your birdbath is only five and a quarter inches tall.
01:09:05Definitely non-compos mentis.
01:09:07Better summon the authorities.
01:09:09Uh, no.
01:09:10Uh, no.
01:09:11You wait right there, sir.
01:09:12Somebody will be coming to call on you very shortly.
01:09:16Now, what was that address again?
01:09:18112 North Highland.
01:09:20Yeah, that's right.
01:09:21Please, hurry.
01:09:22Yeah, that's right.
01:09:23Please, hurry.
01:09:25Thank you, Mr. Duck is over here.
01:09:28Hey.
01:09:29Hey.
01:09:35Hey.
01:09:36Hey.
01:09:37Hey.
01:09:38Hey, trace.
01:09:39Hey.
01:09:40Hey.
01:09:41Hey, hey.
01:09:42Hey, Bobby.
01:09:43Hey, hey.
01:09:44Hey.
01:09:45Hey.
01:09:46Hey.
01:09:47Hey.
01:09:48Hey, hey, hey.
01:09:49Hey.
01:09:50Hey.
01:09:51Hey, me?
01:09:52I did see an elephant in my birdbath.
01:09:55Sure, sure, I know.
01:09:57I keep a giraffe in mine.
01:10:22I don't know.
01:10:52You're late.
01:11:17He always used to be pink.
01:11:20And Mother used to scold me when I was only three.
01:11:24She'd say, Dolores, you're not seeing little lavender men in the sugar bowl.
01:11:29But I did, Doctor.
01:11:31And then when I went to nursery school, my teacher, Mrs. Swanson, she was a synthetic blonde.
01:11:38Well, Mrs. Swanson used to spank me.
01:11:40Spank me hard.
01:11:41I think it all began when Father refused to take me to the circus.
01:11:47I was a fragile child.
01:11:48Say, this teensy elephant thing has spread like wildfire right up my alley.
01:12:10A golden opportunity to go on TV and placate the citizenry.
01:12:16It can't fail.
01:12:21I'll soothe their troubled brows and be showered with goodies by a grateful populace.
01:12:26Good evening.
01:12:31I'm Zed Topple, and this is Frightline.
01:12:35Tonight, the miniature elephant.
01:12:38Is it real, or is it merely a figment of our overactive imaginations?
01:12:44A product of our troubled times?
01:12:46Our guest is the noted metaphysician, Mr. Daffy Duck, who may be able to shed some light on this otherwise dark corner of our national obsession with...
01:12:55Uh, yeah, sure.
01:12:56Thank you, Zed.
01:12:57Folks, this so-called miniature elephant couldn't possibly exist.
01:13:02Now, I can accept something plausible.
01:13:04Ghosts?
01:13:05Okay.
01:13:06Vampires?
01:13:07Fine.
01:13:07But itsy-bitsy elephants?
01:13:09That's silly.
01:13:11That's just stupid.
01:13:13That's silly.
01:13:15Yikes!
01:13:16Yikes!
01:13:17Yikes!
01:13:18Yikes!
01:13:19Yikes!
01:13:20Yikes!
01:13:21Yikes!
01:13:22The insult!
01:13:23The ignominiousness!
01:13:24Publicly disgraced on a coast-to-coast hookup!
01:13:28Wait a minute.
01:13:29I can still get out of this.
01:13:31It's a TV station.
01:13:32I'll sue them.
01:13:33It's their fault.
01:13:34No.
01:13:35Wait.
01:13:36I was simply misinformed.
01:13:38It's my advisor.
01:13:39That pig!
01:13:40The perfect patsy!
01:13:42Nobody will believe him.
01:13:43He's a nincompoop.
01:13:44Yeah.
01:13:45Yeah.
01:13:46That's it.
01:13:47It was his fault.
01:13:48Yeah.
01:13:49Who's to know?
01:13:50What's the hay?
01:13:51There's nothing wrong with a little dishonesty in business affairs.
01:13:54What?
01:13:55What am I saying?
01:13:56What am I saying?
01:14:09I'm finished.
01:14:11What am I saying?
01:14:12What am I saying?
01:14:13What am I saying?
01:14:14It's trapped.
01:14:16Kapoot.
01:14:26Aha, it's the door.
01:14:28Opportunity knocks.
01:14:35Telegram for Mr. Daffy Duck.
01:14:38From the cheapskate savings alone.
01:14:44We're sorry, but we must confess.
01:14:48Your rent's not paid. You're in a mess.
01:14:50It's amazing.
01:14:52Vacate to a new address.
01:14:54You can't stay here.
01:14:56You're dispossessed.
01:14:58Good evening, friends.
01:15:02It's unbelievable.
01:15:04Heads up. Moving, men.
01:15:06But honest and truly, the check's in the mail.
01:15:14Sorry, Mac.
01:15:20Now what?
01:15:22One thing for sure.
01:15:24I got nowhere else to go but up.
01:15:28I got nowhere else to go but up.
01:15:30I got nowhere else to go.
01:15:32I got nowhere else to go.
01:15:38No, no, no.
01:15:40I got nowhere else to go but I can't believe it.
01:15:42I got nowhere else to go.
01:15:44I got nowhere else to go.
01:15:46Too bad, too bad.
01:15:53So much trouble in the world today.
01:15:56Hey, Garkon, how about another carrot juice on the rocks?
01:16:07Isn't this a wonderful, Sylvester?
01:16:10Camping way out here in the middle of nowhere.
01:16:13So peaceful and quiet.
01:16:15Ow!
01:16:18Hey!
01:16:24Relinquish me, you foul gibbering feline, you.
01:16:32That's just a little old scraggly coyote baying at the moon.
01:16:36You yellow dog of a cowardly cat, you.
01:16:45Come and get them, folks. Come and get them while they last.
01:16:54Crick spiders, plastic blobs, ghost goop, garlic wreaths, and other miscellaneous supernatural knick-knacks.
01:17:02Welp, how about these simply adorable wind-up dolls?
01:17:08Just one dollar apiece.
01:17:09Why, yes, I'll take one of those.
01:17:11You will? Really?
01:17:13Really?
01:17:14Gee, thanks.
01:17:20Cubish!
01:17:22We'll be back!
01:17:23We'll be back!
01:17:24We'll be back!
01:17:25We'll be back!
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