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  • 2 days ago

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00Uh, baby, calm down, baby. Hello? Excuse me?
00:05Um...
00:07No!
00:09Yeah.
00:11Sorry, love, I can't hear you.
00:14Yeah.
00:15If I came into your house and I assaulted your children, would that be all right with you, sir?
00:19Sorry?
00:20No, it wouldn't.
00:21What? Sorry, but what did you say?
00:23I'm sorry, you are on the grass, and you are assaulting a living thing.
00:27This is a living, breathing organism, and you're assaulting it, and I have got the documentation, and I am going to call the police.
00:35That's a crime.
00:36Sorry, sorry, excuse me, calling the police for what?
00:39Yes, you've got all these pretty flowers, you've got roses, you've got gardenias, you've got foxglove, for fox sake.
00:45But you don't care about the grass, do you?
00:48No, if I came in, and is that your wife, your lovely wife, if I came in and just slapped her around, and slapped your child, how would you feel?
00:55Excuse me?
00:56Excuse me?
00:57Yeah, well, you're doing it to the grass. You're assaulting the grass. The grass is a living thing.
01:04Okay, excuse me. One, that's my car. Secondly, this is my front garden, and I can do what I like with it.
01:11No, you cannot, because the gardens belong to all of us. We are one world, if you hadn't noticed. Right?
01:18Okay.
01:19We are one living world. This isn't...
01:20Okay, and why is it any real business?
01:22Because I am a human being, and I am communing right now, right now, with your garden, your grass.
01:30Excuse me, who are you?
01:31Look, look, look. It's a living thing.
01:34Okay, and who are you?
01:36What does it matter? I'm a human being. That's all you need to know.
01:40No, no, no, hold a minute, yeah. I do need to know, yeah? Because, like, one, that's my garden, you're on my property.
01:46Two, like, you're taking pictures of my car.
01:49Correct.
01:50And three, you're over here by my front window.
01:55I don't know if you know this, but it's a crime to hit an animal. It's a crime to assault a human being.
02:02It is also, conversely, a crime to assault the grass.
02:07Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm not doing anything to the grass.
02:11That's a heavy vehicle, sir. That weighs tons and tons and tons, and you're pressuring the grass.
02:18You're making it difficult for the grass to breathe. It's very, very disturbing.
02:23I can't seem to make anyone understand.
02:25I'm going to take more pictures, because that's a crime. It's a crime.
02:29Oh, oh, oh. Just you wait. Just you wait.
02:34What do you mean, just I wait? What the hell are you going to do?
02:41Um...
02:43Alright, I can't do it. I can't move it, it's too heavy.
02:46And that's the problem. That's the problem.
02:49Okay.
02:50It's heavy.
02:51Maybe... What do you mean it's heavy?
02:52It's heavy to move. It's heavy on the grass. It's heavy.
02:56And it's heavy on the planet. And the planet's delicate... atmosphere.
03:01Okay, so how do you get to A to B?
03:03I'm sorry?
03:04So how do you get to A to B? You can't move any car.
03:10I can't believe I have to explain this to you. As if you were a child. A four-year-old would understand.
03:15This is a crime. Now move your car or I am calling the police.
03:20Nine, nine, nine.

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