Hornbeam 2022 - short film - video Dailymotion

Gaymer Short

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Transcript

00:30Oh, yeah, good, thanks.

00:54Do you want to jump in?

00:58Yeah, yeah, cool.

01:17How's you?

01:19Yeah, good, thanks.

01:21Good.

01:22So you're a gardener, then?

01:25Yeah.

01:26Yeah.

01:33So, what do you want to do?

01:35Drive somewhere?

01:35Yeah, yeah, sounds good.

01:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41Let's go.

02:11So you sneak away from your wife and kids then?

02:22Do you not feel guilty about that?

02:28It will do if you talk about that.

02:32Sorry.

02:34How about you?

02:37Oh, I'm actually living with my parents at the moment.

02:42Not for long, it's just...

02:44It's not great for bringing people back, you know.

02:48I just feel a bit seedy.

02:57What?

02:58I just feel a bit seedy.

03:04Listen, if you don't fancy...

03:09Hey, it's really not that.

03:11I literally got hard on as soon as I got in the van.

03:15I'll take you back.

03:16I'll take you back.

03:17I'll take you back.

03:18I'll take you back.

03:19I'll take you back.

03:20I'll take you back.

03:21I'll take you back.

03:22I'll take you back.

03:23I'll take you back.

03:24I'll take you back.

03:25Okay.

03:26I'm sorry.

03:27Yeah.

03:28I got this which I got hard on as soon as I got in the van.

03:31I've got this bad boy.

03:32Which I got hard on as soon as I got in the van.

03:36I'll take you back.

03:50I'm sorry I wasted your time.

03:57No, no, I haven't.

04:20So you didn't get enough of me yesterday, then?

04:42Obviously not.

04:43No, you seem like a nice guy, that's all.

04:52Thanks.

04:55Got you a little something.

05:00You've just been to the pub?

05:03Oh, I've just been for a couple, you know, take the edge off.

05:08So where are you taking me tonight, then?

05:09I thought we could drive round for a bit, maybe stop somewhere for a cigarette.

05:16What makes you think I smoked?

05:17I could taste it on you yesterday.

05:19Fuck, really?

05:21Don't worry, I quite liked it.

05:25Yeah, I split up with my girlfriend about a year ago now.

05:28How come?

05:31It's all getting a bit comfortable, you know?

05:34My mum's asking us when we're going to get married and have kids, all that.

05:38And there's this.

05:42Oh, so nobody knows about you, man.

05:45No.

05:48I don't think people really give a shit about that kind of thing anymore.

05:51Um, not sure you're the best person to be dispensing that sort of advice, are you, Mr. Married Man?

05:57I don't think people really give a shit about that kind of thing.

06:13Hey, someone's just flashed those lights.

06:17Hasn't he?

06:18Yeah.

06:19No.

06:20Have you brought me to a dogging area?

06:23I cannot believe you've brought me dogging on our second date.

06:26This is ridiculous.

06:27This is not a dogging area.

06:28It is.

06:29Look, he's flashing his lights.

06:30Oh, my God, this is actually a dogging...

06:32OK, now this is actually a doggie.

06:34Can we please leave?

06:35That is a doggie as well.

06:36Yeah.

06:37Can we flash back?

06:38No, no.

06:39Shall we?

06:40No.

06:41No, no, no, no.

06:42No, no, no, no, no.

06:43Start the car.

06:44Come on, it'll be funny.

06:45Start the engine.

06:46Why?

06:47Because what if we know them?

06:48I don't know any doggers.

06:50Well, you don't know that you know doggers, but you probably do.

06:54Oh, please, do not do this.

06:56He thinks you're flashing the lights.

06:59Oh, come on, now go, go, go, go, go.

07:12It's the same time tomorrow?

07:13Um, well, I don't mind seeing you again as long as you don't take me there.

07:28Mmm, we'll see.

07:30Well, I, I'm not going there again.

07:34I said we'll see.

07:35I swear to you I'm not.

07:37Alright, see you later.

07:42Bye.

07:44Bye.

07:45So did you always want to be a gardener?

08:00Uh, kind of, yeah.

08:03My, um, my granddad was a gardener.

08:05He worked for a kind of big estate as the head gardener.

08:10When I was a kid he used to teach me all the Latin names.

08:15So you know all the Latin names?

08:17I know all the Latin names.

08:19Well, not all of them, but most.

08:21Okay.

08:22Um, these, over here, Carpinus Betulus.

08:25Oh, Pinus Betulus.

08:26Oh, Pinus Betulus.

08:27What's that in English?

08:28Hornbeam.

08:29Hornbeam.

08:30Hornbeam.

08:31I don't even know what hornbeam is, but I like the sound of it.

08:33No, no, no.

08:34I like the sound of you.

08:37My hornbeam.

08:38My hornbeam.

08:39Exactly.

08:40And this, uh, Pinus Silvestrus.

08:44Pinus Sil...

08:45Are you going to know that?

08:46Pinus Silvestrus, yeah.

08:48Okay, so that's Pinus Silvestrus.

08:50Oh, this bush here?

08:52That bush there is Lunocera.

08:54Lunocera.

08:55Lunocera.

08:56Lunocera, yeah.

08:57You're making this up, man.

08:58I am not.

08:59So, uh...

09:00What?

09:01Are you going to sing me a song?

09:02I'm going to sing a song.

09:03I made this up specially for you.

09:04Ready?

09:05Okay.

09:06Here we go.

09:07Johnny, you're in my body for a day.

09:13Johnny, I can't afford to let you get away so soon.

09:23Please don't forget so soon.

09:27Johnny, don't forget me ever, I said.

09:32Something that wasn't true.

09:36The only people I know listen to classical music by choice are either old people or my public school boyfriends.

09:49So, yeah.

09:50That's good.

09:51What do you say?

09:52Wait, are you a Tory?

09:54You are, aren't you?

09:55Yes, you are.

09:56Pack it in.

09:57Stop it.

09:58What?

09:59You actually are, aren't you?

10:00I can't believe I've been kissing a Tory boy.

10:01Oh my god, it's disgusting.

10:02I can't believe I've been kissing a Tory boy.

10:03Oh my god, it's disgusting.

10:04I can't believe I've been kissing a Tory boy.

10:05Get over it anyway, it's far worse for me.

10:06How is it worse for you?

10:07How is it worse for me?

10:08How is it worse for me?

10:09How is it worse for me because I've been kissing a champagne socialist?

10:10Okay, you do not know me well enough to be making those sort of claims.

10:15What are you saying?

10:16What are you saying?

10:17Wait, are you...

10:18Are you a Tory?

10:19Are you a Tory?

10:20You are an Tory?

10:21Yes, you are.

10:22Yes, you are.

10:23Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

10:24Ahhhh.

10:25What?

10:26You actually are, aren't you?

10:27I can't believe I've been kissing a Tory boy.

10:28Oh my god, it's disgusting.

10:29Get over it anyway, it's far worse for me.

10:30How is it worse for you?

10:32How is it worse for me because I've been kissing a champagne socialist?

10:36OK, you do not know me well enough to be making those sort of claims.

10:39I think I do.

10:40Champagne socialist.

10:46Drive, Tory boy.

10:56Do you think you'd ever hold my hand in public?

10:58Yeah.

10:59Really?

11:00Yeah.

11:01I might have to have a drink or two first, but maybe I would.

11:10It's nice.

11:27So what about our wedding?

11:31Morning suits.

11:38The big fuck off marquee.

11:43Works.

11:44Who would you invite?

11:45Your parents.

11:46Yeah.

11:47Yeah, they love it.

11:50Just got to wait to meet the right guy before I tell him.

12:01Do you remember that lady I was telling you about?

12:02Mm-hmm.

12:03She wants me to design the whole garden for her.

12:04Which is great.

12:05It's like one of my first designing jobs.

12:06Mm.

12:07Mm.

12:08So, um, I thought I could grab us something to eat.

12:10Do you fancy that?

12:11Uh, yeah.

12:12OK.

12:13What do you like?

12:14Well, at this time of night, the possibilities are endless, aren't they?

12:15I'll find something that's open.

12:16Mm.

12:17Mm.

12:48OK.

12:49Um, I am.

12:50It's just that I really like you.

12:55And...

12:56Well, this whole thing's ridiculous, isn't it?

12:59Because you're married and, look, I just have to keep reminding myself that this is as

13:04far as it's going to go.

13:05It's always just going to be you and me and your shitty postman van.

13:10I'm, um, I'm not married.

13:24What?

13:29I don't know, you assumed that I was and I, I don't know, I just didn't say anything.

13:38I'm in a relationship, an open relationship with a guy.

13:46So, you know, we don't just have to do the van thing anymore.

14:08I should have told you sooner.

14:09Yeah.

14:10How long have you been together?

14:11Twelve years or so.

14:12I should have told you sooner.

14:13Yeah.

14:14How long have you been together?

14:15Twelve years or so.

14:19You get on really well with everything, it's just...

14:41Just... you know.

14:47Why don't you just leave him?

14:51I don't know.

14:55I guess because I...

14:58don't want to break his heart.

15:11Alright.

15:41Wow...

16:11I'm sorry, but the person you call is not available.

16:17Please leave your message.

16:30Johnny, you're in my body for a day.

16:38Johnny, I can't afford to let you get away so soon.

16:51Please don't forget so soon.

16:56Johnny, don't forget me ever.

17:00I said something truly weathered again.

17:08You can't afford to let you get away so soon.

Hornbeam 2022 - short film

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