- 6/28/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I don't know.
00:30I don't know.
00:35Again.
00:50They were at it all night.
00:52Frenchmen never get tired of having sex.
00:54It's like docking them in a lightning port.
00:56Well, my battery's dead and I have a huge day at work.
01:00Ugh, I can't believe this.
01:02What?
01:03Stop this shit.
01:04Now.
01:05Asshole.
01:06Send voice note to dad.
01:08That's how you talk to your dad?
01:10The zipper king?
01:11His third assistant will soften the tone when she reads it to him.
01:14He's grabbing me to come home.
01:16Again.
01:17With what?
01:18Oh my god, a BMW?
01:21And the house behind it.
01:23He's giving you a house?
01:25Yeah, right next to my parents' place.
01:27All I have to do is go home, join his trainee program and start dressing like Angela Merkel.
01:33And you're giving up all that to be a nanny.
01:36Do you really like Paris that much?
01:38Yes.
01:39I do.
01:40But also, I can never go back to China.
01:42Why not?
01:43Well, first of all, there's the life my parents have planned for me.
01:47Marry the right guy.
01:49Live on the right street.
01:50And also, um, there is this.
01:54Oh my god, you were on Chinese Idol?
02:00We call it Chinese Pop Star.
02:02That's so cool.
02:13I choked in front of billions of people.
02:15Not millions.
02:16Billions.
02:17And when they found out who my father was, I became a meme.
02:23Oh boy.
02:24I was so mortified I had to get out of China ASAP.
02:28And so I gave up.
02:30And I came here and went to business school like my dad wanted me to.
02:34And I failed at that too.
02:35Well, of course you did.
02:36You're a singer.
02:37Was a singer.
02:39I had my shot and I blew it.
02:41No.
02:42You get more than one shot, Mindy.
02:43In China, you only get one kid.
02:44You need to get back out there.
02:46Just find a stage and get your groove back.
02:48You're so cute.
02:50But, you know, the wonderful thing about Paris is that nobody judges you for doing nothing.
02:55I mean, it's practically an art form here.
02:57You know what?
02:58We actually have a name for it.
02:59They call us Flaneur.
03:01You're not a Flaneur.
03:02You're in hiding.
03:03I want more fabulous place to hide.
03:04Hey.
03:05You said we had to wear all black.
03:06I said you had to.
03:07You'll blend in perfectly at Pierre Cadot's Couture House.
03:09However, I have no interest in blending in.
03:12Emily, I've been dreaming of meeting Pierre Cadot since I was 12 and stole issues of French Vogue from my mom's beauty side.
03:18He's a legend.
03:19Oh, I know, Julian.
03:20I did my homework.
03:21I know all about his feud with Valentino, his affair with Elton John, and his pet iguana, Evangelista, that apparently won't die.
03:31Actually, the iguana has died five times.
03:33They just replaced it and called it by the same name.
03:34No!
03:35Yes.
03:36Oh, hey, Sylvie.
03:37Did you see my emails about social strategy?
03:38Pierre Cadot detests social media, but his manager knows he needs it to compete.
03:43If we get the account, there's something to discuss in the future.
03:48You're right.
03:49I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
03:50You're right.
03:51You're right.
03:52I'm sorry.
03:53I'm sorry.
03:54I'm sorry.
03:55I'm sorry.
03:56I'm sorry.
03:57But I'm sorry.
03:58You're sorry.
03:59I'm sorry.
04:00I'm sorry.
04:01I'm sorry.
04:02discuss in the future so today just observe admire and try to disappear won't be a problem
04:09i wore all black that's not black that's off black
04:20since the 1800s only designers who's chosen by the french federation of passion
04:26may refer to their work as haute couture pierre cadeau is one of them of course
04:30uh monsieur cadeau does not chase trains he's he's an artist even now he's offered his talents to
04:37design costumes for the new ballet this week at the paris opera oh oh sublime
04:49oh man okay let it go
04:54i wish you wouldn't show the costume they're not ready oh pierre oh la la they're more than ready
04:59the elevate ballet the team here from savoie was just saying so n'est-ce pas oh yes
05:05is that's like our news oh no mr cadeau it's the honor of my career to be here of my life
05:14uh um beyond honored i i mean uh i've always um admired your work and being here it's just fabulous
05:38fabulous fabulous your your your couture is is a confection i could eat your clothes
05:46uh
05:50hang out
06:02what happened guys what does brain guard mean it means basic he called you a basic
06:07bitch
06:21because of my bag charm
06:35Do you think he's her son or her lover?
06:44Oh, um, I was just watching to see if the Caesar salad is really worth 20 euros.
06:51She's forceful, a bit controlling, like a mother.
06:57And now she's feeding him, like a lover.
07:02Oh, God, I hope.
07:08Lusure buys the next bottle of wine.
07:11You're so sure you're right?
07:13I'm a professor of symbiotics. It's, uh...
07:16Study of symbols. I have a master's in communication.
07:20Then you know it's my job to read such things. Signs. People.
07:26Thomas.
07:28Emily.
07:29Emily.
07:30So, how are we going to know who wins this little wager?
07:32I guess we have to sit here until they reveal themselves.
07:39What are you drinking?
07:43And then for the rest of the day, no one would talk to me at work.
07:47Well, for one thing, it's a bit hangar to call someone hangar.
07:51Right? I'm not saying I'm cool.
07:53You're sitting at the coolest cafe in all of Paris. At least, historically.
07:58Really?
07:59This was the home of Jean-Paul Sartre and Simon de Beauvoir.
08:02Everybody in Paris flocked to see them.
08:05I read Second Sex in college. Most of it.
08:08But did you know that for the longest time, the cafe across the street, the De Mago, was the cool place.
08:16Hemingway and Picasso, they used to drink there.
08:19And what happened?
08:20Sartre and De Beauvoir decided it was two bourgeois, and they fled to the Café de Flore because it was empty.
08:28And suddenly...
08:29Café de Flore was the cool place.
08:32When two things are next to each other, we're forced to compare them.
08:39Café de Flore et De Mago.
08:41Or...
08:42Ringard and...
08:43Cool.
08:45You're not Ringard.
08:46Wait, what? Who's that third guy?
08:53Well, we're never gonna know who won the bet.
08:56I don't care about the bets.
08:58I just wanted to keep talking to you.
09:02Well...
09:04We could talk someplace else?
09:07Some place, Cooler?
09:16Oh.
09:41Okay.
09:43Okay.
09:46Yeah.
09:48Oh, my God!
10:01All your books are in French.
10:04And good morning to you.
10:06They're not my books.
10:07They came with the apartment.
10:08I have a rule.
10:11If I go home with a girl and she doesn't have her own books, I cannot make love to her.
10:17I have my own books.
10:18They cost too much to ship from Chicago, so I download them on my iPad.
10:23Then show me your iPad.
10:25Why?
10:26So I can make love to you again.
10:28With a clear conscience.
10:30Are you sure you don't want to use my shower?
10:38I don't want to wash you off yet.
10:40Please tell me we'll see each other again tonight.
10:43Oh.
10:45Okay.
10:45Sure.
10:46Hello.
10:47Hello.
10:48Hello.
10:49Hello.
10:50Hello.
10:51Hello.
10:52Hello.
10:53Hello.
10:54Hello.
10:55Hello.
10:56Who is he?
10:57A professor I met last night.
10:58I've never done anything like that.
11:00I mean, for all I know, he could have been a murderer.
11:01Hmm.
11:02I thought I heard a couple of petits morts, so...
11:05A couple of what?
11:06Um, little death.
11:07It means an orgasm.
11:09And it sounds like you died at least twice last night.
11:13Oh, my God.
11:14I'm petit mortified.
11:15Oh, little deaths?
11:16Why do you call it that?
11:17It sounds so morbid.
11:18No, it's not.
11:19It's like, um, it's so intense that you die and then you're reborn as a new person.
11:28Hmm.
11:31Well, if it isn't like Belle, Rengard.
11:41Oh, could you not?
11:42I said Belle.
11:43Okay, Rengard, I cannot deny.
11:44Look, I'm not basic.
11:46In fact, I went home with a philosophy professor last night.
11:49That's worse than basic.
11:51It's boring.
11:52It was not boring.
11:53He quoted Rambo to me and it was hot.
11:55The only thing my ex ever quoted was Game of Thrones recaps.
11:58America, it sounds like a prison.
12:00Anyway, I guess this poetry man explains why you're late for once.
12:04No, Sylvie emailed me that I didn't have to be in until 11.
12:09What meeting's happening in there?
12:11For the Fortier account.
12:13The watch account?
12:14I'm leading social for that.
12:15Did Sylvie tell you why they're meeting without me?
12:17Definitely not.
12:18However, I'm feeling uncomfortable right now.
12:20So, I'm leaving.
12:21Sylvie, is there a reason I wasn't invited to the Fortier meeting this morning?
12:33Last week, you told me to prepare a deck.
12:35Luke, can you please tell Emily she's not leading social media for Fortier anymore?
12:39She's on a luxury brand quarantine.
12:42Okay, I will tell her.
12:43I'm right here.
12:44Is this about Pierre Cadeau?
12:46And tell her also.
12:47I don't need to hear her moaning around the office all day.
12:50She can go.
12:51Yes, I will tell her.
12:52I didn't do anything wrong.
12:53Well, make sure she knows what a quarantine is.
12:56Sure.
12:57It means the same thing in English.
13:00It was just one client and we knew Pierre Cadeau was a long shot.
13:03Yes, but it was Sylvie's long shot.
13:05She's talked about signing him as long as I've been at Savoir.
13:08Well, do you think there's any way to see Pierre again and explain?
13:11And what would you say?
13:13Go ahead, pretend I am Pierre.
13:17Monsieur Cadeau, please allow me.
13:19Regarde!
13:27I can't believe I got demoted because of an accessory.
13:31At least you have a hot new male accessory.
13:34How's that going?
13:36Crazy.
13:37Like three petite more in one night.
13:39Oh, you learned a gross new phrase.
13:42I did.
13:43And he refused to shower afterwards because he wanted a reminder on him.
13:48Is that weird?
13:49Sexy.
13:50Although that's probably why the Metro smells like PBO during morning rush hour.
13:55Public BO?
13:56Pussy BO.
13:57Mindy!
13:58What?
13:59Have you taken the Metro?
14:01Sorry.
14:02I get Trey nasty when I'm exhausted.
14:05And thanks to you, I was up all night.
14:07Why me?
14:08I went down a drunk rabbit hole of Googling jazz clubs in Paris.
14:13I don't know.
14:14I figured that if I was going to try the singing thing again,
14:17I might as well do it here where no one knows me.
14:19I saw that there is an open audition at Crazy Horse.
14:22Well, that's not so crazy.
14:24Sorry.
14:25I'm not going.
14:26Why not?
14:27Because I still have Chinese pop star PTSD.
14:31That's, that's like P for post traumatic, right?
14:33Emily.
14:34Yes.
14:35Okay.
14:36Well, you just, you need to get over it and sing.
14:40Honestly, sometimes I don't think I'll ever sing again.
14:43What about for me?
14:44Maybe.
14:45I don't know.
14:46Not right now.
14:47Why not right now?
14:48No, no one's paying attention.
14:50You want me to sing right now?
14:51Yes.
14:52There are people.
14:53So just, just pick any song that you want.
14:54I'm not going to judge you.
14:57I'm not judging.
14:58Ugh.
14:59Fine.
15:00Okay.
15:01I can't look at you.
15:02Alright.
15:03I'm going to, I'm going to, here you take this.
15:04Oh, okay.
15:05I'm going to see him far away.
15:06I'm not going to look at you.
15:07Okay.
15:08Okay.
15:09What do you want me to sing?
15:10Say whatever you want.
15:12Whatever you want.
15:13Whatever you want.
15:14Whatever you want.
15:18Whatever you want.
15:23I love you, what?
15:25Another one.
15:28How beautiful is beautiful.
15:33What love?
15:36T'es morté tout le jour, et ça me fait quelque chose.
15:47Il est entré dans mon cœur, ou ne pas de bonheur, dont je connais la cause.
16:00C'est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie.
16:08Il me l'a dit, là je rêve pour la vie.
16:17Give your heart and soul to me, and life will always be la vie.
16:30All the roses.
16:39Ok, ok, merci.
16:42No one was paying any attention, don't worry.
16:52Bonsoir.
16:54Oh.
16:55A gift.
16:57Delta Venus.
16:58C'est très sexy.
17:00On va aller à l'aise et lire ça, ou n'est-ce pas que je laisse moi-même ?
17:03Si on va à l'aise maintenant, on ne va jamais faire à l'aise.
17:06Better to have something to look forward to, en même temps.
17:11Hey.
17:12Oh, hey, Emily.
17:14Mouah, mouah.
17:17Oh, introduce us to your friend.
17:20This is Thomas.
17:21Thomas, this is my friend Camille, and her boyfriend Gabrielle.
17:25Yes, we've heard you. We heard of you.
17:27Um, Gabrielle is, uh, the chef at a restaurant across the square.
17:31Yeah, except tonight another chef, who's gonna cook for us at a great little tapas place in the 10th.
17:36Yeah.
17:37Oh, you should join us.
17:39Oh, no, we wouldn't want to crash your dinner.
17:40Please, it would totally be fun. Please.
17:43I love Spanish wine. Why not?
17:46Why not?
17:47Yeah, okay, great.
17:48Um, it's a double date then.
17:50Yay.
17:51Yay.
17:53Great.
17:55Um, it's this way.
17:59Oh, this area is so pretty. What's it called?
18:02Canal Saint-Martin.
18:03It used to be gritty and authentic. It is a shame how popular it's gotten.
18:08None of the charm it had before.
18:10I still like it.
18:12It's hero Disney compared to what it was.
18:14Did you both grow up in the city?
18:17No.
18:18Gabrielle's from, um, Normandy.
18:20I grew up on a farm in Breon.
18:22His whole family raised money, so he could attend cooking school here.
18:27They're so proud of my guy.
18:29Oh, I love that.
18:30Well, the two of you have something in common.
18:33Neither from Paris.
18:41Cigarette, anyone?
18:42I love one, thanks.
18:46I'm surprised. All the chefs I know rule their own.
18:51Well, now you know one who doesn't.
18:56Gabrielle, you picked a really great wine.
18:58Oh, thank you. It's a small organic producer from Rioja.
19:01Gabrielle knows his wine inside and out.
19:04Except for champagne. That is Camille's specialty.
19:06Oh, only because of where I grew up.
19:08My family has a little chateau in champagne.
19:10It's called Domaine de la Lisse.
19:12Hmm, Domaine de la Lisse.
19:14I've never heard of it.
19:15Well, it's, um, small.
19:17But we don't have to talk about that.
19:19That's so boring.
19:20Yeah, I agree.
19:21So dull talking about wine.
19:22It's like a conversation about the weather.
19:25Far more interesting to drink it.
19:26No?
19:29Of course.
19:36I don't think Gabrielle likes me.
19:40What makes you say that?
19:42I could just tell that he's jealous that I'm with you.
19:47I don't think that's true.
19:49Who can blame him?
20:00We just have to try to be quieter tonight.
20:03Sure.
20:04Whatever you say.
20:04What makes you say?
20:20Oh.
20:25Oh.
20:26Oh.
20:27Oh.
20:28Hey, girl.
20:58Sorry.
20:58I won't do that again.
20:59I have something for you.
21:01Well, two things, actually.
21:02I thought that you and I, or you and whoever, could go to the opening night of the ballet
21:05for another shot at Pierre Cadeau.
21:10Don't mention his name to me ever again.
21:15That was a box.
21:18What are you doing?
21:19I don't know yet, but I didn't come to France to be demoted.
21:22After tonight, you may be deported.
21:23I did.
21:24I did.
21:25Emily, hi.
21:49Why are you after so dressed up?
21:51Oh, I have tickets to the ballet.
21:53Oh, with Tamar.
21:55I presume?
21:56Yes.
21:58I see.
21:59Well, enjoy.
22:01What is it?
22:03I didn't say anything.
22:04Sounds like an interesting evening.
22:06Do you have a problem with him?
22:09I'm sorry, but I think he's a snob.
22:12An asshole masquerading as an intellectual.
22:15I know he's tight.
22:16Maybe you can tell since you're not from Paris.
22:19Well, you're not from Paris either.
22:20Sorry, it's not how I meant it.
22:25Fine.
22:26I just think you're wasting your time on a guy who doesn't deserve you.
22:29I don't know.
22:29I don't know.
22:30I don't know.
22:31I don't know.
22:31You look beautiful in that dress.
23:00but not as beautiful as you look without it well you're looking pretty handsome yourself
23:07there's just one problem here did you know they were performing swan lake tonight is this a joke
23:13what well the last time i was here it was for bolero a masterpiece so a lake is for tourists
23:19or is on the cusp of being cool again like cafe donna go clever trying to use my argument against
23:26me but evidently you missed the point of what i was saying okay well i would like to find pierre
23:32cadeau and try to talk to him so maybe you can endure it until then you're here to ambush pierre
23:36cadeau so now we have a bad ballet and an awkward encounter with an overrated designer to look forward
23:41to oh my god you are a snob excuse me you really just don't like to like anything do you snob
23:50last refuge of the simple-minded simple-minded simple but beautiful
23:57how about you go and i'll meet you afterwards and i'll treat you to some amazing sex
24:04i think we'd both like that better
24:06toma since you're a professor of science i'm sure you won't have any trouble recognizing this one
24:12that's more of a gesture
24:19do i know you
24:45it's the ringard from the marketing firm the other day
24:49emily from savoir
24:51excuse me mademoiselle it's a private box
24:54i just came here to apologize for the other day for offending you and and to let you know that
25:00you're right i am a basic bitch with a bag charm
25:04in fact you do you want to know why i got that bag charm
25:08because my friends and i were obsessed with gossip girl we all wanted to be serena vanderwoodson
25:14in her gorgeous crazy expensive couture
25:18but the only thing we could afford from any of those designers was a clip-on bag charm from a
25:23outlet mall in winnetka
25:24so
25:25yeah
25:26i guess that made us pretty ringard
25:29i'm calling security
25:32you think ringards don't respect designers
25:35we worship designers so much that we spend all we've saved on a dumb accessory just to feel like we're somehow on your runway
25:45you may mock us
25:47but the truth is
25:50you need us
25:52without basic bitches like me you wouldn't be fashionable
25:56i can't believe it was down
26:00what
26:02gossip girl
26:03we watched the entire series to find out
26:06it's down
26:08mademoiselle
26:09sorry this box is only for vip guests
26:12it's fine
26:14i don't belong here anyway
26:16you did go to the ballet last night didn't you
26:37i
26:38i just got a call from pierre cadeau's office
26:41i'm so sorry
26:43he wants to meet
26:44he insisted gossip girl be there
26:48i can only assume that's you
26:50oh
26:51well that's that's good right
26:53i don't know how it happened i don't want to know
26:57but i need you to be
27:00less
27:02how about you do you and i'll do me
27:06and how about a one-way ticket back to chicago
27:08less
27:11got it
27:12a lot less
27:14you
27:38you
27:42and
27:44and
27:46here
27:46so
27:46you
27:50and
27:50and
27:53and
27:53and
27:55and
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