We’re speaking to Richard Littledale who lost his wife eight years ago, and he says he still misses her every day. Grief never goes away, but it changes, and he says the best support he’s received is talking to people close to him about his wife and wants to encourage people to do the same.
00:00I'm talking to you as part of a nationwide campaign, really, by Sue Ryder, to help people
00:06appreciate the degree of loneliness that goes along with bereavement.
00:11You know, eight out of ten people, when they're grieving, feel that they're doing so alone.
00:17And alarmingly, there's a very high percentage of people who feel they've got nowhere to turn.
00:21So I'm having this conversation with you because anything we can do to increase the visibility
00:27of the services that are available to people has got to be a good thing.
00:31You know, grief hurts. It sucks. It's dreadful.
00:35But if you can find things to help with it, then it's good to let people know about them.
00:41Losing any loved one can be devastating for people, whether it's a cousin you haven't seen for a few years
00:46or a parent or partner. It affects everyone differently.
00:49And there's no shame in grieving fully for that person.
00:51And there's no sliding scale of, you know, how much a different person matters to you.
00:58You know, you might lose an aunt of whom you were particularly fond.
01:02I lost my wife, who was my best friend.
01:04But both of those situations carry with them a weight of grief.
01:09And it's important that people know where they can turn to when they're trying to carry that weight with them.
01:15There are resources out there for people to use.
01:18Professional help, counselling and support.
01:20Richard says that it's just as important as any of it is the face-to-face conversations with friends and family members
01:26that can make the biggest difference to people experiencing bereavement.
01:30Best advice would be look up Sue Ryder Griefkind.
01:36Look that up and you'll find all kinds of resources there.
01:39That's one thing.
01:40But the other thing I would say is have conversations with people.
01:43Your best mate in the pub or the person you did a park run with or, you know, someone walking their dog alongside you.
01:51Talk about the person you're missing.
01:54And you'd be surprised by how compassionate people can be.
01:57They'll find it awkward at first.
01:59Three out of five people in the UK are worried about talking to someone who's been bereaved in case they get it wrong.
02:04You know, my personal experience has been the worst thing you can do is not talk to me.
02:11Those tough conversations aren't guaranteed to go perfectly.
02:14They can be a bit awkward or uncomfortable to bring up lost loved ones to people.
02:18But those conversations are important no matter how well they go.
02:21It means that sometimes those conversations will go well and sometimes they won't.
02:26But again, you know, from where I'm sitting, you know, I'm eight years in now to being a widower.
02:32You know, I would far rather that somebody had the conversation and it might be a bit awkward, but I'll go away from it.
02:39Say, well, thank goodness they spoke to me.
02:40So, you know, I think anything we can do to get rid of that fear that people have of saying, well, this is a dodgy subject and I won't touch it has got to be a good thing because you don't know how lonely the person is that you're talking to.
02:56They might seem fine on the outside.
02:58We're all good at putting a mask on, aren't we?
