Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00What the hell is this?
00:00:17So smooth.
00:00:24That tastes real good.
00:00:27Tasty.
00:00:28Sweet.
00:00:30What are you doing down there?
00:00:30Picking a leak?
00:00:32No.
00:00:33Want a sport for you?
00:00:36No, no, no.
00:00:37You guys go ahead.
00:00:38I'll catch up to you later.
00:00:43I'll be there.
00:00:46Whatever that could be.
00:00:47Mighty good.
00:00:52Harry, what are you doing?
00:00:53Eating snow?
00:00:54You out of your head, buddy.
00:00:55If this is snow, try it once.
00:00:58No, no, I don't eat snow.
00:01:00Come on, give it a try.
00:01:01That's not snow.
00:01:02Try it.
00:01:07What the hell is it?
00:01:11You know, if this stuff keeps bubbling out of the ground like this,
00:01:14there might be enough of it here that we could sell to people.
00:01:16Ow!
00:01:18Ow!
00:01:36Of course, I'm being eaten alive.
00:01:38I'm burning out.
00:01:48I'm burning out.
00:01:48I'm burning out.
00:01:48I'm burning out.
00:01:55I'm burning out.
00:01:59I'm burning out.
00:03:01What are you doing down here? I thought you were a burglar or something.
00:03:03I was hungry.
00:03:05You were hungry.
00:03:07Did you see?
00:03:10See what?
00:03:11It...
00:03:13It's a matter with you anyway.
00:03:16It was moving.
00:03:17You listen to me, young man.
00:03:21You get your butt back upstairs to bed.
00:03:23You understand?
00:03:23Don't ever pull this on me again.
00:03:24Now move.
00:03:25It's a matter with you.
00:03:38It's a matter with you.
00:03:44When I was a little girl, I didn't think there was anything that I liked better than ice cream.
00:04:03Now I'm a big girl, and I've decided there's something I like better, much better.
00:04:11It's called a stub.
00:04:14And believe me, enough is never enough.
00:04:28A month ago, they acquired the chocolate chip Charlie chain of outlets on the West Coast with the intention of converting them and being in business in 60 days.
00:04:38After that, they'll go national.
00:04:40I wish to hell we knew how they make it.
00:04:42Yeah, we could copy it.
00:04:44And what I meant to say is we could improve on it.
00:04:48Apparently, we've had no luck in analyzing the ingredients and no luck in getting close to anybody inside the company.
00:04:54That's why I've asked Mo Rutherford to come here today.
00:04:57Look, are you sure we want to get mixed up with industrial spies?
00:05:02Hey, look, I want results, and he's the best there is. And it's men like Mo Rutherford that help us stay in business.
00:05:08Yes, I suppose we do have to keep the world safe for ice cream.
00:05:11Yes, I suppose we do have to keep the world safe for ice cream.
00:05:13Hey, didn't you used to be with the Bureau?
00:05:16Yeah, well, at least I didn't get my ass kicked out like you did.
00:05:20Oh, yeah, yeah. I missed out on an abs scam, DeLorean, all the good times.
00:05:25Yeah, well, just follow me, hot shot.
00:05:28Let's see if you're worth your money.
00:05:30Oh, this is some place you got here, fellas.
00:05:36Oh, man, this is, uh, gosh, let me, uh, that's a sweaty palm. That's two sweaty palms.
00:05:41Let me feel you.
00:05:42Ah, that's another sweaty palm.
00:05:44Yes, sir, hello, sweaty palms.
00:05:46How do you do?
00:05:48So tell me about the stuff.
00:05:50Now, look, you've been briefed on this problem.
00:05:53Well, not completely. I don't understand why you didn't go to the Food and Drug Administration.
00:05:57Well, for one reason or another, right after it was approved, most of those involved resigned.
00:06:04They're either out of the country or on vacation.
00:06:07Or they had been, uh, paid off. That is the American way, you know.
00:06:12We've never had so much trouble getting information out of a company.
00:06:15Oh, don't you worry about that. Every stone wall has a chink in it.
00:06:19Nah, I'll get inside there. I'll penetrate the company. I'll do some damage.
00:06:23But it's going to be expensive, believe me.
00:06:25I mean, look, we don't want to know how you do it. Just, uh, do it.
00:06:30I don't know. I understand. You guys don't like me.
00:06:32Uh, heard it on the tap there.
00:06:34Uh, someone said I've been fired from the FBI, that I've been, uh, blackballed, and that I was obscene.
00:06:40Uh, someone here said I was obscene. Somebody here. Who said I was obscene?
00:06:44How the hell did you know that?
00:06:46Well, while you were at the Metropolitan Opera last night, I just happened to be walking through your hotel room, and I dropped this in your pocket.
00:06:54Oh, shit.
00:07:04Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
00:07:08You know, Mr., uh...
00:07:10Rutherford, Mo Rutherford. You know why they call me Mo?
00:07:13No, why?
00:07:14Because every time people give me money, I always want Mo.
00:07:17Well, you know, Mr. Rutherford?
00:07:19Yes, sir?
00:07:20I don't think you're quite as dumb as you appear to be.
00:07:25No one is as dumb as I appear to be.
00:07:30Now, as I understand it, there is a certified check waiting for me with my name on it.
00:07:35I think the gentleman there.
00:07:37Oh, this fellow here.
00:07:38Oh, yes, look at that.
00:07:40Okay, yeah.
00:07:42Oh, that's good enough for starters.
00:07:43Asshole.
00:07:47Uh, when you talk to the FBI, would you tell him this for me?
00:07:50Oh!
00:07:51Oh, his jaw.
00:07:54Uh, thanks for the job, gentlemen.
00:08:02Will you go up and tell your brother to get on down here?
00:08:05Oh, come on. My cereal's gonna get soggy. I'll get him when I'm done.
00:08:08Do as I tell you and do it now?
00:08:10Uh, maybe his alarm didn't go off.
00:08:14Yeah, well, he was up running around in the middle of the night, no wonder he was exhausted.
00:08:19You tell him he's not missing school today. I don't care what his excuse is.
00:08:24Hi.
00:08:27There he is.
00:08:30Well, what do you want for breakfast?
00:08:31You're not going.
00:08:34I'll scramble with you over easy for you.
00:08:36Well, uh, my stomach doesn't really feel too good.
00:08:39Yeah, well, it sure felt good at four o'clock this morning.
00:08:43Listen, young man, you've missed three days of school already.
00:08:47I don't want you missing any more, you understand?
00:08:49I don't know what your plans are today, but you're not about to miss any more days.
00:08:52Let me have some on our finish with my cereal.
00:08:55Sure.
00:08:55Good for you.
00:08:56No!
00:08:57Don't eat that!
00:09:00There's nothing wrong with it.
00:09:01I had some last night.
00:09:02I'm telling you, it isn't good.
00:09:05It's spoiled.
00:09:08It doesn't taste well.
00:09:09Come here.
00:09:15Here, you taste it and tell me if you think it's what.
00:09:17I don't want to.
00:09:21Look.
00:09:21It moves around all by itself.
00:09:26It moves.
00:09:28I saw it moving in the refrigerator.
00:09:34Hey, freak, what do you want anyway?
00:09:38Jason!
00:09:39You come back here!
00:09:40No, I hope these days come out!
00:09:41What the hell's the matter with that boy anyway?
00:09:44Look at that.
00:09:45Not a spot.
00:09:47Low in calories, good tasting, and it doesn't even spot.
00:09:50And he doesn't like it.
00:09:56Nothing like it around.
00:09:58Coupled with benign bacteria?
00:10:00It was probably just a lucky accident that tasted great.
00:10:03They seem to reproduce this accident in great quantities.
00:10:06Well, that's what I don't understand.
00:10:08I thought there was some government regulation
00:10:10that requires them to reveal the contents.
00:10:12They're protected by the FDA statute of identities rule.
00:10:17The same law protects Coca-Cola,
00:10:20secret formula for their syrup.
00:10:23Gentlemen, the little lady entering the room now
00:10:25is doing some undercover research for me.
00:10:29Because, folks, if we're going to find out
00:10:31secret formula stuff, we're going to have to steal it.
00:10:35A little faster pace, okay?
00:10:37Let's get a little movement into this.
00:10:39Step, step, let's see the bathing suit.
00:10:41Okay, I want wonderful smiles.
00:10:44You got that, Happy?
00:10:45Is it good?
00:10:46Yeah.
00:10:46Okay.
00:10:47Now I want you to feed each other the stuff,
00:10:49both with nice smiles on your face.
00:10:56Pearl and Cassie.
00:10:59Get a slightly tighter shot of them when we do it, all right?
00:11:02Can we move in?
00:11:03Just a little bit, yeah.
00:11:03As they come forward, you move in a little bit.
00:11:05Good, Happy.
00:11:05You all right?
00:11:06You get it?
00:11:06I'm going for a close-up of the faces of the next two,
00:11:12because they're real beauties.
00:11:14Now take a bite.
00:11:15Let me see how much you love it.
00:11:18Very good.
00:11:18Thanks, girl.
00:11:20Okay, Christine, by yourself.
00:11:23Right on the lens.
00:11:24Right to the lens.
00:11:25Right here.
00:11:26Very good.
00:11:27Now I'm going to want you to go in for a tight close-up
00:11:29as she feeds the camera.
00:11:31What are you doing?
00:11:33Are you out of your mind?
00:11:35Who the hell are you?
00:11:36Five minutes.
00:11:37I got to talk to Miss Kendall about her employment
00:11:40and about this job and everything,
00:11:41so you all can break.
00:11:42Hoppy, you can take off with that.
00:11:45Kill the lights and the sound.
00:11:46You got that?
00:11:47Okay.
00:11:48Now, I'm sorry.
00:11:49Listen, I'm sorry to interrupt you like that,
00:11:51but I can't wait in line.
00:11:52I can tell right now that you're not the type of person
00:11:54to wait in line either, are you?
00:11:55Well, you didn't get where you are now
00:11:57about waiting in line, did you?
00:11:58How do you know that story?
00:12:00Well, I know that story
00:12:01because that's the way I got where I am
00:12:03and where I am today,
00:12:04and here I am with you,
00:12:06and you're awful pretty.
00:12:08David Rutherford?
00:12:10Moe.
00:12:11My friends call me Moe.
00:12:12They call me Moe
00:12:13because every time they give me something,
00:12:15I always want Moe.
00:12:18And I suppose you wonder what I want out of you, huh?
00:12:22Yes, I'd like to know what this is all about.
00:12:25I don't want to put you on our public relations campaign,
00:12:28but I need you not just to raise the image.
00:12:32You've got to convince the public
00:12:33that Lehigh Petroleum has the public's interest at heart.
00:12:39Oh, but why me?
00:12:43Well, I mean, look what you did for the stuff.
00:12:47You invented the name, as I understand it,
00:12:49and you created the image
00:12:51and put the whole sales pitch together?
00:12:54That's why I don't have a lot of time
00:12:55for petroleum companies, you know?
00:12:56Well, now, Daryl,
00:12:57and I'm not here to hire your agency to work for us.
00:13:00I want to buy your agency and put you in charge.
00:13:02Oh, oh, um, I want to buy the agency inmate.
00:13:09That clarifies things.
00:13:10Will you just, um, sit right there just one second?
00:13:13Mitzi?
00:13:15Mitzi?
00:13:18I want you to check out this guy on the card thoroughly
00:13:20and then get back to me.
00:13:21I want you to cancel my dinner date,
00:13:23and I want you to go get me a dress to her.
00:13:25No problem right away, Miss Kim.
00:13:26So, you were saying?
00:13:33I do like to see a woman with the decision.
00:13:37Pick your favorite restaurant.
00:13:40Mmm, where are you staying?
00:13:43Sherry Netherlands.
00:13:45Do they have room service at the Sherry Netherlands?
00:13:48My limousine's just outside.
00:13:54So is mine.
00:13:55I bet mine's bigger than yours.
00:14:21Hey, do you that?
00:14:22Hey, give me that pack!
00:14:23What do you think you don't?
00:14:25She's on the level 5-1-8-5-8-7-8-7-8-7-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8.
00:14:37Wow!
00:14:40Oh, shit.
00:15:10He's gonna kill you! He's gonna kill you all!
00:15:40Hello, Mr. Vickers. I called you about an appointment.
00:15:50Oh, sure. The man from Consumer Magazine?
00:15:52Oh, that's right.
00:15:53Well, come on.
00:16:05Is he friendly?
00:16:07He's absolutely harmless.
00:16:09How old is he?
00:16:10One year.
00:16:11One year old?
00:16:12He's awful big.
00:16:13I feed him very well.
00:16:15Can I get you a drink?
00:16:17Oh, no, thanks. I'm off that now.
00:16:19I'm glad to hear that. Liquor can't kill you.
00:16:21Don't be outlawed.
00:16:24Uh, Mr. Vickers.
00:16:26How long have you been with the Food and Drug Administration?
00:16:31Almost 19 years.
00:16:33Yeah, pretty soon they'll be retiring, eh?
00:16:36And as I understand it, you were, uh, part of the team that tested and approved a product called The Stuff.
00:16:44Oh, they didn't have a name for it then.
00:16:46But they showed merchandise the hell out of it.
00:16:48But we all agreed it's a good product.
00:16:50How long was it tested before you approved it?
00:16:53You've got to understand that this is a dessert, not a prescription medicine.
00:17:00Not any different from yogurt or ice cream.
00:17:04What's in the stuff? I mean, what's it made out of?
00:17:07How's it made?
00:17:12What was your name again?
00:17:13Rutherford?
00:17:14Rutherford.
00:17:15Moe Rutherford.
00:17:16See, I hope...
00:17:17Well, look, I hope you're not going to tell me now that there's been some trouble.
00:17:21I mean, someone's allergic to it.
00:17:23Well, that would upset you, wouldn't it?
00:17:25Look, all we can do is look, uh, for something common to most people.
00:17:30Now, if there is no reason to forbid the use of a product, then we have to okay it.
00:17:36And in this case, uh, it was...
00:17:39In this case, it was a pleasure.
00:17:41It was an absolute pleasure because I love it.
00:17:44I love it.
00:17:45Oh, what?
00:17:46You eat the stuff?
00:17:47All the time.
00:17:48I feed it to Ben.
00:17:49Ben has some.
00:17:50You feed the dog?
00:17:51Absolutely.
00:17:52Ben eats it all the time.
00:17:53Right, Ben?
00:17:56Well, I suppose if both of you eat it, it's gotta be alright.
00:18:00It's really good.
00:18:03But I understand that you're not actually a chemist, Mr. Rickers.
00:18:07No, no, I'm an administrator.
00:18:09But, uh...
00:18:10But I can give you the names of some of the people on the panel.
00:18:13Oh, well, I tried that already, and for some strange reason,
00:18:16they're all out of the country or they're deceased.
00:18:19What a shame.
00:18:21Yeah.
00:18:24Say, uh, where did you test the stuff?
00:18:27Stater.
00:18:28Stater, Virginia?
00:18:29I still have some old preliminary worksheets up my office upstairs.
00:18:32Maybe you should look at them.
00:18:33Nothing, nothing, nothing confidential.
00:18:35I'd appreciate that.
00:18:36You know, and I'll Xerox them and send them right back to you.
00:18:39You know, you're lucky.
00:18:40I never throw anything away.
00:18:42Why is your master afraid of you?
00:18:54Huh?
00:18:58Are you hungry?
00:18:59Want to get something eaten?
00:19:01Come on, let's go to the kitchen.
00:19:03Well, I'm sorry.
00:19:04I should have offered you a cup of coffee or a nice soft drink.
00:19:18Well, I felt like a glass of water, but I'm not thirsty anymore.
00:19:21Yeah, these are some of my old documents, just a lot of old names.
00:19:24Well, well, thanks very much.
00:19:25I appreciate it.
00:19:26It's my pleasure.
00:19:27I'll get copies to you as soon as possible.
00:19:28Take your time.
00:19:29Yeah.
00:19:30Bye, Ben.
00:19:31You've been a good boy, Ben.
00:19:33I've got a tree for you.
00:19:34In fact, I have a tree for both of us.
00:19:35We deserve it, don't we?
00:19:36We deserve it, don't we?
00:19:37Come on, let's go.
00:19:38Come on.
00:19:39Come on.
00:19:40Come on.
00:19:41Come on.
00:19:42Come on.
00:19:43Come on.
00:19:44Come on, let's go.
00:19:45I'll get copies to you as soon as possible.
00:19:46Take your time.
00:19:47Yeah.
00:19:48Bye, Ben.
00:19:49You've been a good boy, Ben.
00:19:50I've got a tree for you.
00:19:52In fact, I have a tree for both of us.
00:19:55We deserve it, don't we?
00:19:57I'm so sorry.
00:19:59Come on.
00:20:00Yeah.
00:20:01Come on.
00:20:042.30 a.m.
00:20:17They still keep coming.
00:20:342.30 a.m.
00:21:042.30 a.m.
00:21:34Uh, there's nice clean restrooms out there if you want to.
00:21:39I must have taken the wrong turn off here somewhere.
00:21:42This is Stater, isn't it?
00:21:44Yes, it is.
00:21:46Yeah, I guess I know somebody here.
00:21:47I can't remember his name.
00:21:49Melville.
00:21:51You mean old Harold?
00:21:52He moved out.
00:21:53They're just about all moving out of here.
00:21:56There's nobody here but you?
00:21:58Well, don't you want to wash your hands or something?
00:22:00I put in a new towel.
00:22:01Could you stop that at $20?
00:22:04Uh, okay, yeah, sure.
00:22:12You recognize that car down there?
00:22:14I know.
00:22:19Ain't that a novelty.
00:22:21Two strangers in one day.
00:22:23Have a good bye.
00:22:24Bye.
00:22:29Bye.
00:22:33Bye.
00:22:34Bye.
00:22:37Bye.
00:22:45Bye.
00:22:46Oh, my God.
00:23:16Well, I sure as hell ain't the Kentucky Colonel.
00:23:20Get off of me.
00:23:21Uh, I'm sorry.
00:23:22What are you doing down here in a town like this, big executive like you?
00:23:26I'm trying to find out something about the son of bitches who stole my company out from under me
00:23:30and threw me out on my beautiful black ass.
00:23:32You work for them, huh?
00:23:33I'm investigating them, same as you are.
00:23:35Yeah, those shits.
00:23:37Somehow, man, they got to my asshole brother and my two idiot nephews
00:23:41and everybody else I trusted would stop,
00:23:43and they brainwashed them, man.
00:23:46Next thing I knew, they was in and I was out.
00:23:48Yeah, okay, Charlie.
00:23:49Well, now, did you find anything else?
00:23:51What you gonna find out, man, in a town that has just been dried up and blown away, man?
00:23:57Must be a side effect of eating too much dessert and urge to migrate.
00:24:01Well, there's a widespread urge of that around here.
00:24:03I might have gone along with the idea they didn't have to steal my company.
00:24:07Yeah, but these guys don't like having partners, Charlie.
00:24:10Yeah, and I figured if there was a mafia front, I'd get back at them, expose them, and then get my company back.
00:24:15But how did you find this out of the way place?
00:24:17Oh, those damn relatives of mine again.
00:24:20After they boarded me off of the board of directors, you know what they did?
00:24:24They hid out from me, man.
00:24:25They just disappeared because they knew I'd kill them.
00:24:29And then they left us this place here as a forwarding address.
00:24:32A forwarding address?
00:24:33Yeah.
00:24:33Well, that's the post office.
00:24:40Where does all that mail get rerouted to?
00:24:42Well, to the, to these people, the addresses they left behind.
00:24:47I don't see that.
00:24:48Any interest to you?
00:24:53Midland, Georgia, Midland, Georgia, Midland, Georgia.
00:24:56A whole lot of folks have reloaded Katie to Midland, Georgia, man.
00:24:59Uh, it's dinner time about now.
00:25:04Why don't you just close up shop and we'll, uh, take out for about to eat.
00:25:08I've eaten already.
00:25:10Uh, Midland, Georgia, huh?
00:25:12They all went there and you stayed here.
00:25:16Go away.
00:25:19Leave us alone.
00:25:20What do you mean us, man?
00:25:22We're talking to you.
00:25:23Ain't nobody else in this place, is there?
00:25:25Because, uh, all we see is you and the gas station, man, and now he's gone.
00:25:30We're not bothering anybody.
00:25:35Excuse me.
00:25:37I'll be right back.
00:25:38What do you think, Charlie?
00:25:52The man is not in proper operating order.
00:25:55Absolutely.
00:25:56I'd like to take him someplace and get him extra.
00:25:58But what if he doesn't want to come along with us?
00:26:00But we snatch him.
00:26:01Oh, now, Charlie, I run a high-tech operation.
00:26:03I don't go in for things like that.
00:26:04I've got a few low-tech solutions for our problem.
00:26:07We hit that sucker over the head.
00:26:09Well, uh, we can do that.
00:26:11We throw him in the trunk of the car.
00:26:13We can do that, too?
00:26:14And we take off.
00:26:15But whose car?
00:26:15Uh, I'll be right there, baby.
00:26:31Hello?
00:26:31Hello?
00:26:36Okay, lethal hands.
00:26:38Kill the door.
00:26:40Watch out for spinning.
00:26:40I'm always not pushing.
00:27:02Nobody's mouth can open that wide.
00:27:04You are not thinking about going after me.
00:27:10I hope you got a gun on you, Charlie.
00:27:12How many times must I tell you my hands on lethal weapon?
00:27:15Yeah, I hope you're right,
00:27:16because if that thing tries to kill me,
00:27:18you kill me first.
00:27:26Hey, wait, wait, wait.
00:27:28We are not alone.
00:27:32The only thing chocolate chip Charlie knows better
00:27:34and the body is running.
00:27:35Pick a direction.
00:27:43Get in the boat, Charlie!
00:27:48Get in the boat!
00:27:49There's a hole in that sucker!
00:27:54Get in the boat!
00:28:04Hey, honey, you got a cup of coffee for me?
00:28:22Oh, dear.
00:28:23Why, you're a pretty thing.
00:28:24Look at her, isn't you?
00:28:25Pretty nice.
00:28:25You know, every time I feel like eating,
00:28:27I think of that guy with the mouth.
00:28:29Hey, waitress, you got any good chocolate chip cookies?
00:28:37Sure do.
00:28:38Homemade.
00:28:39You got any of this stuff?
00:28:44Wish I did.
00:28:46I can't get it.
00:28:47It's on order, though.
00:28:48You know, I'm going to have to split up.
00:28:59You sure you no longer need my iron fist?
00:29:02I want you to go to Washington, D.C.
00:29:07and see Special Agent Frank Herbert.
00:29:13The FBI.
00:29:17You won't believe me.
00:29:19Maybe he'll believe you.
00:29:21Ah, Frank Herbert, the FBI.
00:29:25I got you.
00:29:26Here you go, honey.
00:29:31Thanks a lot.
00:29:33Hey, fellas, any of you guys going down Route 105
00:29:36to give a guy a lift?
00:29:37Yeah, I'm just about done.
00:29:39Oh, good.
00:29:39Thanks very much.
00:29:40Is your friend coming with you?
00:29:42Oh, no, he's got other business.
00:29:43Charlie, remember where you are.
00:29:46Oh, my God.
00:30:13Here he comes.
00:30:38Well, you're Mr. Rutherford.
00:30:40That's right.
00:30:41I expected you about now.
00:30:44I gather the failure wasn't a rather genuine community deal.
00:30:49News travels fast.
00:30:53You're not one of them, are you?
00:30:55Huh?
00:30:56You're not on the stuff, are you?
00:30:58Oh, I know, no.
00:31:00My doctor would never allow me to take any of that.
00:31:03But you distribute it.
00:31:04You know what it is.
00:31:05You put it in the stores and the supermarkets.
00:31:08I know what it is.
00:31:09Don't be ridiculous.
00:31:10I don't know what it is.
00:31:10Does anybody know what it is?
00:31:12Anybody know what it wants?
00:31:14And those who would take a critical mass of it, to them, why?
00:31:16It's everything.
00:31:18When those people had discovered it, then they came here and brought it to me first, they were already addicted.
00:31:23They were compelled to find somebody like me who could market it for tens of millions.
00:31:27But that was long before you test marketed the product in Stater.
00:31:31So where did it all start?
00:31:32Everyone in Stater went to a little town called Midland, Georgia.
00:31:38Now, your conglomerate owns a mining company in Midland.
00:31:41Let go of it.
00:31:42Let go of it, Mr. Rutherford.
00:31:45Can't stop it.
00:31:47I'm going to shut you down.
00:31:49I just don't know.
00:31:50You know what I mean?
00:31:51You don't know?
00:31:51Well, I don't think anybody paid too much attention to this reputable character like you.
00:31:57You're a rogue.
00:31:59You're a crook.
00:32:00And the pay of the ice cream companies is to start trying to screw the competition.
00:32:04I could always kill you.
00:32:09Well, you could come to work for me.
00:32:13Let me show you something.
00:32:16I got a little envelope here for you in anticipation of your arrival.
00:32:23What's the thing left?
00:32:25$1,000 bills.
00:32:26About $25 of them.
00:32:28Hey, right on.
00:32:29It's also the first draft share of a contract to supervise our security here.
00:32:35You do know who I am, don't you?
00:32:38I don't have to eat the stuff, though, do I?
00:32:41I really would like to leave that to the stuffies.
00:32:44It's not your fault.
00:32:45It is my fault.
00:32:46I invented the whole campaign that made it so popular.
00:32:49Is it you're the only person that ever did anything wrong?
00:32:51No, I know.
00:32:52I'm not the only person that ever did anything wrong.
00:32:54It's just that I...
00:32:54Do you want to trade sins, Miss Kendall?
00:32:58All right.
00:32:58Well, I'll trade us in with you.
00:33:01I am not.
00:33:03I know I'm a millionaire.
00:33:04I'm an industrial saboteur.
00:33:09Why don't you just call the FBI and tell them what you know?
00:33:13I haven't got any credibility with the Bureau or any other federal agency, for that matter.
00:33:18I was one of them.
00:33:19They kicked me out.
00:33:21Um, what about Ralph Nader or something like that?
00:33:24I came with him, too.
00:33:26A couple of motor car companies hired me to discredit consumer groups.
00:33:30I did too good a job.
00:33:31But if you've got proof, then we've got to go to somebody and touch you.
00:33:35I got no proof at all, and that's why I got to go to the factory with you tonight to get proof.
00:33:39David?
00:33:40Good night.
00:33:40Yeah?
00:33:41See you, Miss.
00:33:43Oh, uh, Doc, this is Nicole.
00:33:45Please meet me, too.
00:33:48Some kid on Long Island sure as hell doesn't like the stuff for breakfast.
00:33:51Went bonkers in a local supermarket.
00:33:53See that kid.
00:33:59Honey, I'll see you at the airport tonight.
00:34:01What?
00:34:01Doc, would you, uh, see, uh, Miss Kendall home, please?
00:34:05David.
00:34:05No.
00:34:06Hey, I'm up here, you know.
00:34:34A phenomenon not confined to individuals.
00:34:37Entire families have been reported missing.
00:34:41Just the disappearance of the epidemic proportions.
00:34:45Good night.
00:34:46Good night on ABC's Nightline.
00:34:48Good night.
00:35:49You know what I said about that. That was the truth. And you know that there is something alive in there.
00:35:57Jason, I mean, there's something alive in yogurt. It's called benign bacteria.
00:36:01Yes.
00:36:02I mean, there's something alive in a loaf of bread. It's yeast. I mean, that's a living organism.
00:36:05We eat plenty of things that are still alive that are good for us.
00:36:08I know that, but that was moving.
00:36:12All microorganisms move, Jason. I mean, if you could see them with the negative eye.
00:36:16Yeah.
00:36:16I mean, under a microscope, you can see them move. So what's the difference?
00:36:20That they're good for us, Jason. They kill the bad things inside us.
00:36:27He's just a baby. Always afraid of everything.
00:36:31Get him.
00:36:38We'll get him.
00:36:44Help!
00:36:44What are you supposed to do?
00:36:55What are you supposed to do? You're supposed to eat it. That's all you eat it.
00:36:58You need as much of it as you can, and you keep eating it.
00:37:00I thought you'd love this house, Jason. That's why we bought it.
00:37:06What about your new room? We got you everything you asked for.
00:37:09Are we asking you for so much?
00:37:17You always get everything you want.
00:37:30Now, you stay in your room until you finish that.
00:37:35Then you can become a part of the family again.
00:37:37All right.
00:38:07I don't know.
00:38:37I don't know.
00:39:07I don't know.
00:39:14Hey.
00:39:15What are you doing down here?
00:39:17Didn't Dad say stay upstairs and eat it?
00:39:20He was right.
00:39:22I tried some of it and he was right.
00:39:26Hey, that's mine.
00:39:30Hey, Dad.
00:39:34Jason loves it.
00:39:36Jason always did have a hell of an apple, eh?
00:39:38Why don't you have some more, child?
00:39:40Still working on this one.
00:39:42Then I'll have some more.
00:39:44Books off the table.
00:39:46Glasses off.
00:39:47As a matter of fact, I'll take a whole bunch of it up to my room.
00:39:51Just in case I get a little bit hungry.
00:39:54I never get tired anymore.
00:40:00We don't get tired now that we've been eating properly.
00:40:04Get in the car.
00:40:05Who are you?
00:40:06I saw it move too.
00:40:07Get in the back.
00:40:08Get in the car.
00:40:09Who are you?
00:40:10I saw it move too.
00:40:15Get in the back.
00:40:25Stay in the car.
00:40:27Who are you?
00:40:28I saw it move too.
00:40:29Get in the back.
00:40:30Stay in the car.
00:40:31Quiet, wait!
00:40:32Get in the car.
00:40:33Get in the car.
00:40:38Boy, they sure do have a lot of energy.
00:40:55Excuse me, sir.
00:40:59I kind of just threw up in your car.
00:41:01I know.
00:41:04I'm sorry.
00:41:06I mean, I just need shaving cream.
00:41:08Well, everybody has to eat shaving cream once in a while.
00:41:21You feeling a little better?
00:41:22Would you open the window now?
00:41:25Open the window?
00:41:26Mm-hmm.
00:41:26All aboard for Georgia.
00:41:41Wait a minute, David.
00:41:43I mean, what, what...
00:41:44Any more fast?
00:41:45We all set to go.
00:41:46Well, we've got this ex-con here.
00:41:47We've got this ex-con here.
00:41:52Wow.
00:41:53I've never been in a plane like this before.
00:42:01Midland, Georgia.
00:42:02Fletcher's conglomerate that distributes the stuff, owns mines and quarries all around here.
00:42:07There's got to be a connection.
00:42:20Very nice flight.
00:42:22Are you Miss Futterman?
00:42:23Yes, I am.
00:42:24Very nice to meet you.
00:42:24Very nice to meet you, too.
00:42:26When he wakes up, you keep him entertaining.
00:42:28If we're not back in three hours, you take him to Savannah Airport and wait for instructions.
00:42:33I hope you don't mind my bringing my male secretary, Roger, along.
00:42:39He's so creative.
00:42:40I'm Elliot Howard.
00:42:41I'm the chief of public relations down here.
00:42:44Very nice to meet you.
00:42:45This my partner?
00:42:46Uh, my name is Michael Grimsby.
00:42:48Grimsby and Howard.
00:42:49Howard and Grimsby.
00:42:50Oh, yeah.
00:42:51Didn't you gentlemen ever live in a town of Stater at one time or another?
00:42:58How do you know that?
00:43:00Well, I...
00:43:00That's why the original tests were done by the Food and Drug Administration, isn't it?
00:43:03I guess, ma'am, that's how we heard about it.
00:43:05I had my own business down there, but I gave it up to join the firm.
00:43:09We were both convinced that this is the product of tomorrow.
00:43:18Look at those tall stacks.
00:43:20All full of the stuff, huh?
00:43:22All full of the stuff, huh?
00:44:07I want to thank you for the wonderful job you people have been doing down on Madison Avenue.
00:44:20Oh, it's very easy to sell a product when people like it so much.
00:44:24Yes, we like it ourselves.
00:44:26Sometimes it's tough to keep the workmen from eating up all the profits.
00:44:30I bet.
00:44:37We shouldn't be shooting pictures here.
00:44:56Smile.
00:44:56This is very, very interesting, Mr. Cassidy, but I think that what we'd really like to see is the room where they put all the ingredients together.
00:45:05You know, where they mix the stuff.
00:45:07Oh, no, that's a state secret, ma'am.
00:45:09We're very tight on that subject.
00:45:11Now, Mr. Cassidy, I intend to bring an entire crew down here from New York and shoot a commercial using all the people who really work here at the factory.
00:45:19Maybe even you, Mr. Cassidy.
00:45:34Bye.
00:45:46The stuff will be coming down earlier tonight.
00:45:56It's coming down right after sunset every night this week.
00:45:59I can't think of it as more trucks.
00:46:01We need more trucks. We want to keep up with it.
00:46:03I won't complain.
00:46:16It's 3 and 4. Be ready to proceed to the quarry at 8 p.m.
00:46:28It's 5 and 6 should be ready to move out at 9.15 p.m.
00:46:32All personnel are restricted to the factory grounds until morning.
00:46:37No passes are valid.
00:46:46Now you've had a long flight and all, and I know that you both must be tired.
00:47:07We've made arrangements for a motel for you nearby.
00:47:11We'll get you in the morning for a little breakfast and bring you on back here.
00:47:16It seems you've got to eat enough of it before it starts taking control of your mind.
00:47:23And like anything else, some people are more susceptible than others.
00:47:40Jason's in Savannah, Georgia by now.
00:47:42Oh, I'm going to collapse the minute I hit that pillow.
00:47:47Marcia, I'm glad you gave us a joining room, because she likes to dictate right in the middle of the night.
00:47:52No, and she looks after my shorthand and my hunt and my peck.
00:47:55We're in Andre's exclusive Continental Restaurant, which caters to only the most discriminating clientele.
00:48:14How's the food, sweetheart?
00:48:17What?
00:48:19That's nice.
00:48:21Where's the stuff?
00:48:22The stuff is here now, great new day sensation, light and free now, we'll get you elevation.
00:48:31Enough is never enough, enough is never enough of the stuff.
00:48:36The stuff, the taste that makes you hungry for more.
00:48:41The stuff, the taste that delivers.
00:48:45Enough is never enough, enough is never enough of the stuff.
00:48:49David!
00:49:03David!
00:49:03David!
00:49:03David!
00:49:04David!
00:49:04David!
00:49:06Oh, no!
00:49:16David!
00:49:18David!
00:49:22I'll get it off you.
00:49:24I'll burn it.
00:49:30No, don't touch it.
00:49:32Take your hands away.
00:49:36I'm gonna burn it.
00:49:42I'm gonna burn it.
00:49:54Harden on my face.
00:49:56Harden on my face.
00:49:58I'll kill you!
00:50:00Leave us alone, leave us alone!
00:50:02Oh!
00:50:04Oh!
00:50:06Oh!
00:50:08Oh!
00:50:10Oh!
00:50:12Leave me here!
00:50:14Look at that! That's been for us!
00:50:16Kill him!
00:50:20I'll burn the hell out of you!
00:50:22I'll burn the hell out of you!
00:50:24I'll burn the hell out of you!
00:50:26Oh!
00:50:28Oh!
00:50:30Oh!
00:50:32Oh!
00:50:34Oh!
00:50:36Oh!
00:50:38Oh!
00:50:40Oh!
00:50:42Oh!
00:50:43Oh!
00:50:44Oh!
00:50:45Oh!
00:50:46Oh!
00:50:47Oh!
00:50:48Oh!
00:50:49Oh!
00:50:50Oh!
00:50:51Oh!
00:50:52Oh!
00:50:53Oh!
00:50:54Oh!
00:50:55Oh!
00:50:56Oh!
00:50:57Don't touch me.
00:50:58Oh!
00:50:59Are you all right?
00:51:00Just getting that truck a hot wire.
00:51:12What if somebody reports the truck stolen and then we're arrested?
00:51:15Well, we just tell them that our fellow tried to kill us.
00:51:17No.
00:51:18Where are we going?
00:51:19We're going back to the factory.
00:51:21We're gonna take our own guided tour.
00:51:23Where are they going at this hour?
00:51:47Good time to travel when you don't want to be seen.
00:51:50Let's find out where they're going.
00:51:5321, 12, 13, or 41, 11, 12, 14, 14, 15, 14, 15, 15, 15, 15, 15, 16, 16, 20, 16, 16, 16, 17, 17, 20, 17, 31, 18, 19, 19, 19, 20, 20, 18, 20, 20, 21, 20, 18, 26, 21, 19, 20, 20, 20.
00:52:01Ah!
00:52:02Ah!
00:52:03Oh!
00:52:04No!
00:52:05No!
00:52:06Oh!
00:52:06Wow!
00:52:07No!
00:52:08It's 0.
00:52:08And we're going to be se.
00:52:08Yeah!
00:52:13If we're coming.
00:52:17Yes, I'm coming.
00:52:18Oh!
00:52:20Ah!
00:52:22Bye!
00:52:22So, let's go.
00:52:52We can't go much further with this damn thing.
00:53:05It's like too much noise.
00:53:17Put that light up ahead.
00:53:22What the hell are they doing?
00:53:33That stuff comes right out of the center of the earth.
00:53:36And straight into our supermarkets.
00:53:39You mean they don't process it or manufacture it all?
00:53:43No, they siphon it right off and into the trucks.
00:53:45And the only way I can prove that is to go down there and steal one of those trucks.
00:53:53You can't do that.
00:53:54This place is wide open.
00:53:55They're going to see you.
00:53:57Not if I have this on.
00:53:58Now, when did you save that thing instead of my pocketbook?
00:54:02You can't do it right.
00:54:04You could just spray that thing or say, but I
00:54:06wait and see.
00:54:12Just...
00:54:13Let's go.
00:54:14I want you to go back to pick up.
00:54:38Keys are under the floorboard and meet me at Route 5 near the parkway.
00:54:43All right?
00:54:44You going to be all right?
00:54:45No, I'll be fine.
00:54:46This is my business.
00:54:47You look kind of cute in this thing.
00:54:49Yeah?
00:54:54I do love encouragement.
00:55:05It's coming down in great match tonight.
00:55:08This great match was plentiful to God and for the good work we are doing.
00:55:13Soon the hunger in the world will be a thing of the past.
00:55:17The hunger is giving off the food that will nourish all and invite us all to a new order of life.
00:55:24There are three things that have been coming up in.
00:55:28The hunger is full.
00:55:30The hunger is full.
00:55:32There are three things that have been mentioned in the forest.
00:55:34Let's have fun.
00:55:35What do you think?
00:55:37The hunger is a very difficult time.
00:55:38The hunger is full.
00:55:39The hunger is full.
00:55:41The hunger is full.
00:55:43There were lots of during this day.
00:55:44You think you lost the hunger.
00:55:45You know what we're doing?
00:55:46You think you're Lost?
00:55:47The hunger is full.
00:57:18Jason, we'll get you out of there.
00:57:35Hey, what are you doing there?
00:57:42Get out of that truck.
00:57:44Hey, what are you doing there?
00:58:14Hey, what are you doing there?
00:58:15Hey, what are you doing there?
00:58:16Hey, what are you doing there?
00:58:20Hey, what are you doing there?
00:58:21Hey, what are you doing there?
00:58:22Hey, what are you doing there?
00:58:26Hey, what are you doing there?
00:58:28Hey.
00:58:42Help! Help!
00:59:12Stay long. Grab my hands, Jason. That's it. I got you now. Come on.
00:59:17Oh, what took you so long?
00:59:23That stuff won't stay buried for long. They'll dig it out again.
00:59:32Oh, boy. I never could be glad to see cops.
00:59:35Well, they control the factory in the surrounding area. Don't you think they control the police, too?
00:59:38The whole damn corner is full of the police. There are dozens of them. They're all stuffies.
00:59:42Hey, your hoses hang out back there.
01:00:00Are you going to arrest me for indecent exposure?
01:00:03Get your hands up where I can see them and come on down out of the truck.
01:00:06Get over there. Put your hands up.
01:00:13Go ahead.
01:00:14You ought to put my hands up, too? I mean, aren't you going to shake me down?
01:00:18Okay, miss. You come down out of the truck, too.
01:00:32It seems we've sprung a leak. It's a shame all that stuff is going to waste.
01:00:36I've got to go get some.
01:00:43Let's go get some.
01:00:44Officer, I'm so hungry. You know how it is. You get so hungry. If you go without the stuff for more than an hour or two, I bet you're hungry, too, aren't you, Officer?
01:00:52You're a hungry guy. God, I'm so hungry.
01:00:56Come on, Officer.
01:00:59Take eating it.
01:01:00Officer, it's so good. I'm sure you want some, don't you?
01:01:04Ah, great.
01:01:05Hmm.
01:01:06Hmm, hmm.
01:01:12Hey, look, there's a town up ahead.
01:01:16I'm going to bypass it.
01:01:18It's too small. They probably control it. We'd never get out of it.
01:01:23And where do we go, David?
01:01:24We go to a large city, and they can't control it. They have a chance.
01:01:30A castle?
01:01:39I know the man that lives here. I know everything about him. He doesn't know me.
01:01:49Wait here.
01:01:49Wait here.
01:02:00I am reporting to Colonel Spears.
01:02:20Who are you?
01:02:31Well, I once worked for a man named Hoover.
01:02:33And, uh, he once ordered me to put some taps on an apartment that you rented for, uh, 17-year-old Lepchick.
01:02:42And I, uh, I, I wish I'd brought along the tapes, because then I could prove to you that I really am who I am.
01:02:50You're not with the Bureau anymore.
01:02:51Oh, no, no, no, no, no. They canned me, uh, just before they mailed those tapes to your wife.
01:03:00I could toss you off this tower.
01:03:02You'd land right about there.
01:03:04You're, you're a trespasser.
01:03:08Well, you see, Colonel, you know, I, I only told you about the tapes so I could get up here to see you, because I need you.
01:03:14You know that the whole country needs you.
01:03:19Now, you wouldn't be trying to lie to me or deceive me or entrap me.
01:03:22Now, you, you, you remember, you, you were worried about the commies putting fluoride in our water system?
01:03:29Mm-hmm.
01:03:29Now, now, you know, there's a, there's a thing going on now that's a lot worse.
01:03:35Americans are being poisoned faster and quicker than you can imagine.
01:03:38Poisoned?
01:03:39Yeah.
01:03:40The FBI, you know, they always worried about commies getting, getting these deep cover agents and putting them into high positions in American industry.
01:03:47Then they'd acquire a corporation, right?
01:03:51And then they'd establish themselves, and they'd work on us.
01:03:55Within, right inside it.
01:03:57Get inside our insides and get us inside, get it, get it, get it.
01:04:01Sounds like one of my radio speeches a year ago last Thanksgiving.
01:04:04You were a deep prophet.
01:04:06A product is being sold now, it's being consumed by tens of millions of people.
01:04:12And it contains a mind-affecting drug in it.
01:04:15And you and I, Lord, know who they are.
01:04:20And they're doing it.
01:04:22Oh, yeah, their headquarters, they're less than a hundred miles from here.
01:04:26Sons of bitches.
01:04:29They're floating to that.
01:04:30Yeah, I guess they, they forgot about the Colonel Spears, huh?
01:04:33They didn't know you were around and that you had something in you and you could want to bring it to their knees, right?
01:04:37Mm-hmm.
01:04:41Young man, you come with me, we're gonna have a nice, tall, cold drink.
01:04:45What, are you in the army or something?
01:04:48We are your only army, son.
01:04:52So this is the young lady who's gonna go with us.
01:04:56Well, she's familiar with the plan, she's been inside, she can guide us, you can ride up with me.
01:05:00Oh, well, that's going to really be an honor, Colonel.
01:05:02Well, I know, that's why I asked you.
01:05:04And after this mission, you can reward me in a suitable fashion.
01:05:07Oh, Colonel, I think you're moving in on my lady.
01:05:10Well, I wouldn't worry about that, son.
01:05:11You'll probably be a casualty.
01:05:23You know that, uh, missing truck?
01:05:25I see it coming down the road right now.
01:05:29No, I can't see who's at the wheel.
01:05:31Hey, found this here truck down by Highway 12, Bandon.
01:05:48Kind of figured you might, uh, give us some kind of cash reward for bringing it back.
01:05:55Yeah, okay.
01:05:56Move it on in.
01:05:57Oh, come on, move it on in.
01:06:12Not till we talk about money.
01:06:14Yeah, it's all settled.
01:06:18Whoa.
01:06:20I kind of like the sight of blood.
01:06:22Well, this is disgusting.
01:06:23Attention, the main gate has been penetrated.
01:06:41Outsiders are here in the factory area.
01:06:43Do not resist them.
01:06:45Follow the agreed upon course of action.
01:06:46Repeat, follow the agreed upon course of action.
01:06:49Where the hell are they, yellow-bellied sons of bitches and stuffies?
01:06:57What's that?
01:06:58Come on.
01:07:00Take out behind that truck.
01:07:01Get them in the middle of the tower.
01:07:03Let them talk about them.
01:07:03Now!
01:07:10Come on, you stuffies, sons of bitches.
01:07:12That's right, Colonel.
01:07:13You tell them.
01:07:14Let's go have a look inside, guys.
01:07:38No show of resistance.
01:07:40They may not be armed, sir.
01:07:41It doesn't matter if they are armed.
01:07:43There is no match for the American boy.
01:07:45We have never lost a war.
01:07:47What about Nam, sir?
01:07:49We lost that war at home, Sonny.
01:07:52Give me a run out of it.
01:08:01Don't look.
01:08:02Don't look.
01:08:04The yellow sons of bitches.
01:08:07They took their own lives.
01:08:08Come in, bastards.
01:08:09You cheated me.
01:08:10It's still warm.
01:08:13This must have just happened.
01:08:15Must have issued suicide capsule.
01:08:18Ready for us.
01:08:19Standard KGB procedure.
01:08:20How about you, FBI?
01:08:21You ever seen anything like that?
01:08:26No white stuff in this, son of a bitch.
01:08:29Whatever was inside, we must have just taken off.
01:08:32I have to go outside.
01:08:36I want to see.
01:08:36I want to see this.
01:08:38No, we have to go outside.
01:08:38I don't want to go.
01:08:39I want to see.
01:08:39You have to protect the young lady, trooper.
01:08:45How do you get out of here?
01:08:46Come to the end.
01:08:47Take a left.
01:08:48Thanks.
01:08:48Come over here, boy.
01:08:54Come on.
01:08:54Come on, move.
01:08:55You think you, with these guns you got in your hands, you think you can shoot anything you
01:08:59don't like?
01:09:01Well, what if what you don't like is inside you?
01:09:03How are you going to shoot it?
01:09:25Faster, boy.
01:09:26Hurry up.
01:09:27Move.
01:09:33We've got to make it through that door.
01:09:36Come on.
01:09:37Oh, no.
01:09:38Yeah.
01:09:39One, two, three.
01:09:52Look out.
01:09:52Don't get none of it on you.
01:09:54Keep back.
01:09:54Run!
01:10:03All right.
01:10:14We're going to leave it where it is.
01:10:17I own two radio stations down in Atlanta.
01:10:19We're going to fly down there.
01:10:21We're going to broadcast a warning.
01:10:23We're going to tell the public what this stuff can do.
01:10:2575, 80, 90 percent of the people in this world don't like me.
01:10:36No.
01:10:36No matter what I do.
01:10:37I give my body.
01:10:38I give my soul.
01:10:39And they still don't like you.
01:10:40They don't like me.
01:10:41They never have liked me.
01:10:43When I was a boy, I was always the biggest and toughest and strongest and smartest and
01:10:46best looking.
01:10:47See, they want to see somebody who's lily-livered and weak and spineless just like they are.
01:10:51Ain't that right, FBI?
01:10:51So, anyway, I'd like to know if there's something you can do to help me change my image.
01:10:57Now, Colonel, I think she can change your image like that.
01:11:01You sold them that white shit.
01:11:03Why can't you help sell them me?
01:11:13Come on, gorgeous.
01:11:14I should have taken you into combat years ago.
01:11:21What is this, World War III?
01:11:32Let's get us to 4th and Maine right away.
01:11:34Don't worry, you liberal remarks.
01:11:35All right.
01:11:36We won't do it.
01:11:39I should have taken you into combat years ago.
01:11:45Let's go, sir.
01:11:58What are they doing with machine guns?
01:12:28Pay the drivers, issue a 10% tip, get a cash receipt, proceed to the main lobby, we will reassemble.
01:12:38Report!
01:12:40Sir, our affiliates in the Car Beach, Florida, Memphis and Macon, they've all agreed to carry your remarks in full.
01:12:45Buy clearances on as many stations as you can. Try the network affiliates, make it worth their while.
01:12:50What's on our station now?
01:12:52Just the local sports and then a tribute to Elvis.
01:12:55Can't get enough of the stuff.
01:12:57The stuff, the taste that makes you hungry for more.
01:13:00Get that shit off my station!
01:13:05Get it off!
01:13:10You can't write this.
01:13:12What?
01:13:13Well, you say that you're partly responsible for the whole thing and that you've promoted reckless advertising.
01:13:19Well, that's the truth, isn't it?
01:13:21Well, what, do you want to wreck your career?
01:13:23I mean, you can be idealistic, but don't be stupid.
01:13:26I mean, this is...
01:13:27Well, I thought maybe I'd let you support me for a while.
01:13:29Support you?
01:13:30Well, yeah, you do make money at the things you do.
01:13:33Well, I, you know, when I blackmail people, I do.
01:13:36Get these dogs, too, out of your way before I'm forced to lay them off the waist.
01:13:39Get out of the way.
01:13:40Don't you know who I am?
01:13:42I am Chocolate Chick Charlie.
01:13:44My hands are registered with the Midland George police and lethal weapons.
01:13:47And I eat them in front of my breakfast.
01:13:49The American people are being poisoned by a popular dessert product known as the stuff.
01:13:57Right.
01:13:58If you have this food in your possession, do not eat it.
01:14:00Good.
01:14:01If you are a merchant, then you, uh, what is that?
01:14:04Sell it.
01:14:05Sell it.
01:14:06Sell it.
01:14:07Not sell it.
01:14:08Get!
01:14:09Oh, get!
01:14:10Get!
01:14:11Just get!
01:14:12Get out of here!
01:14:13Charlie, how are you?
01:14:14How you doing, David?
01:14:15My man, how you doing?
01:14:16Hey, David, man, they tried to get to me three or four times.
01:14:17They tried, but I just pushed you out as a hole to them.
01:14:19But how did you find us?
01:14:20Well, you got time for a long drawn-out story?
01:14:22No, I don't.
01:14:23Well, you know, I never did hear from the FBI.
01:14:25You are not gonna do a program on this subject without the participation of Chocolate Chip Charlie,
01:14:29because they stole my company out from one of you, man.
01:14:31You know that?
01:14:32I got a right to be heard.
01:14:33That's a good idea.
01:14:34No, that's a good idea.
01:14:35Of course, they might figure I'm lying.
01:14:36You know, they might figure I'm trying to knock the competition, you know.
01:14:39You know how often it's easier to believe lies than the truth, Charlie?
01:14:43You are really welcome.
01:14:45I'm Nicole, the queen of the ex-liars.
01:14:47Eight minutes to air time.
01:14:48Who is this?
01:14:49Well, he's on the broadcast.
01:14:51Not on my station.
01:14:53Hey, are you really Chocolate Chip Charlie?
01:14:56Nah, it's nice to see that somebody still likes me,
01:14:58and the answer is that I am just plain old Charlie W. Hobbs,
01:15:01a private citizen who wants to make a public stable,
01:15:03and you are not gonna keep me off of those microphones, Colonel,
01:15:06even with all your stooges in a funny costume.
01:15:08And did you realize how many people love Charlie as much as Jason does?
01:15:12Twenty million!
01:15:13Twenty million people.
01:15:15In advertising money, how much is that?
01:15:17An extra twenty thousand a minute, probably.
01:15:20And if you want to throw away all that money, you go right ahead.
01:15:23I will permit this colored man to speak,
01:15:26but speak one word of the commie party line,
01:15:30or one word in code,
01:15:32and I will blow his head off.
01:15:35Look, can I go somewhere to get my thoughts off?
01:15:38I'm gonna take you next time.
01:15:39Okay.
01:15:40We'll be back in the room.
01:15:42We don't have a lot of time,
01:15:44so are you prepared to say on the air
01:15:46that you've actually seen people devoured by the stuff?
01:15:49Oh, hell yes.
01:15:50And what's worse, I've seen what's left of them
01:15:52when the stuff gets through and comes back out.
01:15:58You want to run that by me again?
01:15:59I've seen what's left when the stuff gets through with them
01:16:02and comes back out.
01:16:03It sort of vacates the premises when it's through.
01:16:06How?
01:16:08Oh, I'm sorry.
01:16:11I mean, what am I asking you for?
01:16:13How would you know?
01:16:14Oh, I know.
01:16:17Ever.
01:16:18Charlie.
01:16:19Charlie.
01:16:20Charlie.
01:16:21Charlie.
01:16:22Are you all right?
01:16:23Charlie, are you...
01:16:24Are you all right?
01:16:25What's the matter?
01:16:27Oh, no.
01:16:31Charlie.
01:16:32Let's go.
01:16:39Oh, God.
01:16:40Charlie.
01:16:41Shoot Stacy.
01:16:45Ahhhhhhhh!
01:16:52Jason don't move!
01:16:55Jason don't let it touch you!
01:16:58Syndrome.
01:17:02Move!
01:17:08Move Hilbert!
01:17:10Help!
01:17:12Oh, God, it's growing!
01:17:18Hit the juice!
01:17:27Hit it!
01:17:33Get the girl off!
01:17:35Get the girl!
01:17:36Come to me. Come on, Jason.
01:17:4030 seconds, sir. Should we delay?
01:17:58Oh, no. We'll never get the clearances again.
01:18:04Ladies and gentlemen, from Atlanta, Georgia,
01:18:06this is a broadcast of warning.
01:18:08This is not fiction.
01:18:10This is not a dramatization.
01:18:15My fellow Americans,
01:18:17this is Colonel Malcolm Gromit Spears.
01:18:19I have never misled you,
01:18:21and I will never mislead you.
01:18:23Tonight, America is in grave danger.
01:18:25We are under alien attack
01:18:27by a substance which represents itself
01:18:29as a popular dessert known as the stuff.
01:18:32If the stuff is in your house,
01:18:33do not eat it.
01:18:34Repeat, I mark you, do not eat it.
01:18:36If you are a merchant and have it on your shelves,
01:18:39do not sell it.
01:18:40If you happen to have a distributorship
01:18:41and you distribute this material,
01:18:43close your doors, make no more sales.
01:18:45Now, if a member of your family
01:18:47is dependent on this product,
01:18:48get them to a hospital,
01:18:50and if you have this product in your home,
01:18:52cook it.
01:18:52I repeat, cook it.
01:18:54And the people did believe
01:19:01in the weeks that followed,
01:19:03the stuff was withdrawn from distribution
01:19:05and the nation mobilized
01:19:06to collect it and destroy it.
01:19:09Across the nation,
01:19:10violent action has been taken
01:19:12against the stores and franchises
01:19:13that carried the stuff.
01:19:15Local authorities portion the public
01:19:16to remain calm.
01:19:18Fine reports that the product was toxic.
01:19:20Public health officials
01:19:21visited the quarry in Midland, Georgia,
01:19:23only to find it fared
01:19:24in a massive problem.
01:19:25And no one of these men
01:19:26were found to corroborate
01:19:28the right way
01:19:29to the federal sanctions
01:19:31with a conspiracy exit
01:19:32to purposefully introduce
01:19:34drugs and substances
01:19:35under the country.
01:19:37In fact,
01:19:37Fire Emblem Commissioner
01:19:38has no grounds
01:19:40to act against
01:19:41the Fletcher Fine Foods Corporation
01:19:42which claims to have innocently
01:19:44acted solely as distributors
01:19:46of the stuff.
01:19:47More at a level.
01:19:49Although the casualties
01:19:50were in the thousands,
01:19:51American industry
01:19:53has worked with
01:19:53full government support
01:19:55to save millions
01:19:57of other lives
01:19:57and to compensate
01:19:58the injured
01:19:59for their tragic losses.
01:20:02I am reading
01:20:04these words
01:20:05off a teleprompter
01:20:05because I...
01:20:06I simply didn't know
01:20:09what to say.
01:20:10And the fact of the matter
01:20:11is is that
01:20:12I'm selling you
01:20:14an apology.
01:20:15I'm sorry.
01:20:24She is a pretty thing,
01:20:25isn't she?
01:20:26Well.
01:20:28Are you, uh,
01:20:30you here to throw
01:20:30my money back
01:20:31in my face?
01:20:32Uh, no,
01:20:32I spent it.
01:20:34Mm-hmm.
01:20:35You think by dynamiting
01:20:36one quarry
01:20:37you could shut us down
01:20:38forever?
01:20:39Don't you realize
01:20:39that stuff seeps up
01:20:40through the earth
01:20:41in many places?
01:20:41Well, I guess
01:20:43we'll just find
01:20:43those places.
01:20:46I'm afraid I'm, uh,
01:20:47not alone
01:20:47tonight, Smoke.
01:20:49I suppose you've
01:20:51spent my money
01:20:52as well, eh?
01:20:53You two,
01:20:54you're in business
01:20:55together now, right?
01:20:56It was inevitable,
01:20:57wasn't it?
01:20:58And the stuff
01:20:59is finished,
01:20:59of course.
01:21:00But look here.
01:21:02Look at the new
01:21:03campaign for
01:21:04the taste.
01:21:05It's only 12%
01:21:10of the stuff
01:21:10in it just enough
01:21:11to make the public
01:21:12crave for more.
01:21:13And the balance
01:21:14is natural dairy
01:21:15products.
01:21:16There won't be
01:21:16enough of the stuff
01:21:17in it to get a grip
01:21:18on anybody's mind,
01:21:19to take over.
01:21:20Oh, uh,
01:21:21how do you know?
01:21:22Well, they tested
01:21:23it.
01:21:23We tested it
01:21:24in the small
01:21:24Illinois town.
01:21:25Well, if you tested
01:21:26it, then you can
01:21:27taste it.
01:21:28Oh, you go too far.
01:21:30I didn't come
01:21:31alone here, either.
01:21:32I brought along
01:21:33a couple friends.
01:21:34Jason?
01:21:39This is no place
01:21:40for a kid, Mo.
01:21:41Oh, he ain't a kid
01:21:42anymore.
01:21:43The stuff took
01:21:43away his parents
01:21:44and took away
01:21:45his brother.
01:21:46You said you
01:21:47brought another
01:21:47friend?
01:21:48Yep.
01:21:50Him.
01:21:51No, no, no.
01:21:52Put that away.
01:21:54You wouldn't use
01:21:54it in front of a boy.
01:21:55Like you said,
01:21:56I've been through
01:21:57a lot.
01:21:58Well, you sit
01:21:59right now.
01:21:59Yeah.
01:22:00Have yourself a seat.
01:22:02Go have a little
01:22:03dinner.
01:22:03Come on.
01:22:05Jason?
01:22:06Serve the gentleman.
01:22:08Pleasure.
01:22:12You recognize
01:22:13that, don't you?
01:22:18No.
01:22:19Wait.
01:22:19Make a big old
01:22:21mountain number
01:22:21right in front of them.
01:22:23It's not here.
01:22:25Yes, pass it right
01:22:26on down.
01:22:27And dig in yourself.
01:22:28Look, I had nothing
01:22:30to do with it.
01:22:31I didn't...
01:22:32See this hole here?
01:22:35It's getting bigger
01:22:36and bigger, isn't it?
01:22:38So you better eat that
01:22:40or you're going to
01:22:41eat this.
01:22:42Eat!
01:22:43How much of it is?
01:22:45You eat as much of it
01:22:46as I want you to eat
01:22:47until I tell you to stop.
01:22:48It's coming out of your
01:22:49eyeballs.
01:22:54Eat it.
01:22:56You too, partner.
01:22:59Eat it.
01:23:00Are you eating it
01:23:10or has it eaten you?
01:23:11Here they come.
01:23:30Right on schedule.
01:23:35I guess we did it, Mo.
01:23:37I guess we did it.
01:24:07I guess we did it.
01:24:30I guess we did it.