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00:01:16Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:01:46That was pathetic. You don't know the first thing about carnival barking. Time for school, son.
00:01:53Hear ye, hear ye. Repent now, foolish mortal, for ye are now the gates of hell.
00:02:01That is how that's done. Enthusiasm, bro. And always throw the horns. Always!
00:02:07Yeah, man, because there's nothing depressing about old metalheads still throwing up horns.
00:02:11Listen here, skinny jeans fucknose. This place can't survive forever without customers. No customers, no money. No money, no park. No park, no park.
00:02:23No park, no park. What are you, a valet at P.F. Chang? You do know that you just repeated yourself, right? Or did you get pummeled with so many leather dildos at a Judas Priest concert that you have no idea what you're saying right now?
00:02:32Listen, it would be an honor to be fucked by Judas Priest. You don't know shit about dick or rock or roll.
00:02:40Get that love tart to fix this shit.
00:02:43I'll tell him.
00:02:44You could also tell him that he looks like a prime candidate for type 2 diabetes.
00:02:49So funny, Club. You know, I hear you talking about my friend, but it looks like the words are coming out of a dog shit snowman.
00:02:56Hey, man.
00:02:57Do you have a time machine so I can go back in time and punch your mom in the stomach so you don't grow up to be you?
00:03:01Uh, uh, bitch head.
00:03:04Augie! The ride's broken again.
00:03:07I'll punch your dick off with my mouth, bro.
00:03:10Okay. Red is the relay and white is the ground.
00:03:17Hey, what is going on up there?
00:03:20Um, I'm sorry. I just shorted out part of my body.
00:03:24It's very dark in here.
00:03:27Zonar, mistress of the macabre, is in need of power!
00:03:30Just let me get a flashlight and then I'll...
00:03:34Okay, so I'll just need to check the, uh...
00:03:36Hello? Madam Zonar?
00:03:40Tell me, do you believe in destiny?
00:03:46Why? Should I?
00:03:50Do you believe that your heart will stop because of all the fat that is collected around it from the junk food and garbage that you eat?
00:03:58I can only imagine that your veins are filled with grease and tacos and Cheetos.
00:04:03Do you believe in this destiny?
00:04:05Well, I mean, I...
00:04:07Mr. Fat Fat Fatikins.
00:04:10Uh, uh, okay. I just need to find your breakers...
00:04:13It's true.
00:04:15Did I smother my sadness with carbs?
00:04:17It's my... private shame.
00:04:19I sense that you are good with your hands.
00:04:30Thanks, thanks.
00:04:31Please, sit down.
00:04:33You are talented, young one.
00:04:35But you spend too much time fucking your hand.
00:04:38What? How did you...
00:04:39Yes, and your hand doesn't enjoy it.
00:04:41It's not consensual.
00:04:43No, no, that's not true at all.
00:04:45That's...
00:04:45Basically, you're raping your own hand.
00:04:47No.
00:04:47And that is why nobody loves you.
00:04:50You're way off.
00:04:50Nobody will ever love you.
00:04:52Augie, what are you doing?
00:04:56Please, sit down.
00:04:58Madam Zonar, dreamer of desires, senses a need within you.
00:05:02Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I work here. Can you not talk like that? You're an adult on planet Earth.
00:05:06Well, maybe if you put a circuit breaker on my crystal ball, I could do my job here.
00:05:10Yeah, we gotta get this whole place in shape. We're all gonna be out of jobs, okay?
00:05:13You could use some shaping up yourself.
00:05:15I know I may be old and wrinkly, but my power can provide.
00:05:20Really?
00:05:20So can my vagina. Not my breasts so much. They've been used and abused.
00:05:25You know what? I take one look at you and my dick hops out of my pants, goes and gets a gun and blows the head of its own dick off.
00:05:31That is not the first time I have been told that by a man.
00:05:39Bro, I saw the way you were looking at her.
00:05:42Wait, what?
00:05:42Thinking about throwing Madam Bonar a part of your baby dick?
00:05:46Remy, that's fucked up, dude. No way.
00:05:48Come on, Augie. You need the experience. And she rubs balls for a living.
00:05:52And they're crystals, so at least she'll be careful, but she's like a thousand years old.
00:05:55I mean, she must be like a sandpaper factory down there.
00:05:58Dude, don't knock sandpaper. My cat licked my penis when I was in sixth grade and I still think about it.
00:06:05Not again. We gotta put this horse down.
00:06:08Dude, this place is in trouble. The Gates of Hell is our main attraction and it's falling to shit.
00:06:12Yeah, I know.
00:06:13Well, you're the handyman, Augie, so fix it.
00:06:15No, no, no, no. I would, but Cleb told me there's no money to fix it.
00:06:19Ouch!
00:06:19Hey!
00:06:20Sorry.
00:06:21Ouch!
00:06:22Did you ask Kurt for the money?
00:06:23No, no, no, no, no. Cause he's...
00:06:25The assistant manager.
00:06:26Cleb's the manager.
00:06:27His name is Cleb. I mean, imagine his parents.
00:06:30Yeah, it does feel like they gave up just as soon as they started choosing baby names.
00:06:35Hot fuck action to the max. That's what I like. Fuck action.
00:06:40Clocking out.
00:06:43Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're seriously leaving early?
00:06:46That's right. Got a hot date tonight with Madame Zonar.
00:06:49Oh, you mean the fortune teller.
00:06:51I'm pretty sure I saw her on deck today slipping around in what appeared to be her own vomit
00:06:56as she was trying to poo off the side of her boats.
00:06:59That's my lady.
00:07:00Well, not to be a dick, my friend. Just pointing out the obvious here.
00:07:04You don't really have any skill sets.
00:07:06Yeah.
00:07:06And then, you know, you smoke a tremendous amount of weed.
00:07:08Right.
00:07:08And you spend all your time talking to alcoholic, mentally ill fortune tellers.
00:07:12That's me.
00:07:12All while the rides are in dangerously bad condition.
00:07:15Whoa. I told Remy to tell Augie to fix them.
00:07:18That buck has been passed.
00:07:20Well, yeah, right. But still, I mean, one of us has to maintain a safe park, you know,
00:07:25so our customers don't die on the rides.
00:07:27Well, I guess we got to figure out who's going to do that. You or me.
00:07:32Well, since you're the manager...
00:07:35420.
00:07:37See you tomorrow.
00:07:39Awesome. All right.
00:07:40Thank you so much for all the stuff you do, Cleb.
00:07:43Whatever that is, bud.
00:07:50You're going down.
00:07:51Watch out now.
00:07:53Oh, shit.
00:07:55So, dude, after break, we needed to order some parts for the gates.
00:07:58Not this time.
00:07:59The park is done.
00:08:00What?
00:08:01What?
00:08:01Die! Die!
00:08:03The park is done?
00:08:05Bullshit.
00:08:06We just got a letter from the bank.
00:08:07The place is bankrupt.
00:08:09Bankrupt?
00:08:10How could you let this happen?
00:08:11Me?
00:08:12This place is a dinosaur, man.
00:08:14Other parks have roller coasters that rearrange your organs.
00:08:17We got a squirt gun balloon race and a needle exchange program.
00:08:21Kurt.
00:08:22Remember the three of us?
00:08:23We're going to bro out here forever.
00:08:24I don't know what to tell you.
00:08:26Maybe I'll go to college.
00:08:27Oh, really, bro?
00:08:28Awesome, man.
00:08:29Yeah, just go to college, dude.
00:08:31Come on.
00:08:31What, are you going to major in roofies with a minor of...
00:08:33Let's get the fuck out of here.
00:08:36I'm sorry you don't have a fallback plan, Remy.
00:08:39Maybe you should go ask that fortune teller, Madam Zonar, for some career advice.
00:08:43Let's go see if the bearded lady will give you a beach.
00:08:46I'll go get the chloroform.
00:08:47Kurt, steal that clown's knife.
00:08:58Yeah.
00:08:58We should carve our names in the pier.
00:09:00And after high school, if we're still hanging out at this park, we'll all slit our wrists with that knife.
00:09:14The fool again?
00:09:16Did I shuffle these?
00:09:19Ah, you were expected.
00:09:23You knew I was going to come?
00:09:24I am Zonar.
00:09:25I know all.
00:09:26Wow, what am I thinking right now?
00:09:29I sense you are haunted by the dark underlords of the sea.
00:09:34Ha, not even close.
00:09:35I was thinking about sucking my own dick in front of my family on Easter.
00:09:39That is not the first time I have been told that by a man.
00:09:42Ah, where was I?
00:09:46Tis the sad fate of the cynic to miss the offerings of the spirits.
00:09:50The power is within you, child, should you choose to look for a sign.
00:09:54Ugh, look for a sign, really.
00:09:57It's that simple.
00:09:57The book of Beelzebub.
00:10:06Is the devil crying?
00:10:11Wow.
00:10:12What is it?
00:10:14Oh, I was just wondering where you got this book.
00:10:16A spirit bequeathed it as an offering from the dark lord.
00:10:20A dark lord queefed it on you?
00:10:22What does that mean?
00:10:23Can I borrow it?
00:10:24No, this isn't a library.
00:10:25I know, it's a lesbrary filled with creepy old laities.
00:10:32Don't worry, look into the future.
00:10:34You'll see me rejoin this book.
00:10:36Remy!
00:10:38Remy!
00:10:39Remy!
00:10:40Remy!
00:10:42Whoa.
00:10:43Hey, buddy.
00:10:44What's up?
00:10:45You don't look so good, man.
00:10:47Guys, check it out.
00:10:49What's that?
00:10:49That is the book of Beelzebub, the key to saving the park.
00:10:54Wait, what?
00:10:54Dude, I don't get it.
00:10:56Look, people travel across the world to see the face of Jesus on a tortilla, right?
00:11:00Huh?
00:11:00Well, the same people will come to the park in droves to see Jesus' enemy cry like a pussy.
00:11:06Still ain't gonna save the park.
00:11:08Come on, Kurt.
00:11:09Doesn't this park mean anything to you anymore?
00:11:12Honestly?
00:11:13Not really.
00:11:14Kurt, you lost your virginity right there on this ride.
00:11:17Augie tried to lose his virginity there with the strongman.
00:11:19That's why you should care about this place, man.
00:11:22Whatever.
00:11:23Hey, bro, can I get a mint?
00:11:25No.
00:11:26Come on.
00:11:27I'm always lending you stuff, and you never pay me back.
00:11:30Don't bust my balls.
00:11:31Just give me a mint.
00:11:32All right, look.
00:11:33If you promise to hit me back, I'll give you one of my La Petite Mints.
00:11:39Okay.
00:11:40I promise to give you one back.
00:11:41So you currently have mints in your possession?
00:11:43I have a pack of mints in my pocket right now.
00:11:45I just happen to like Remy's flavor better.
00:11:47All right.
00:11:48Well, just swear on the book of Beelzebub.
00:11:50Fine.
00:11:50I swear.
00:11:51Give me your hand.
00:11:52Why?
00:11:53Blood oath.
00:11:54Ow!
00:11:54Jeez.
00:11:55Who does that anymore?
00:11:58Uh, by the smitten brow of Beelzebub, this oath doth bind me.
00:12:03May I keep its sacred words, or Beelzebub will find me.
00:12:07Yes.
00:12:08It's official.
00:12:10Wow.
00:12:11Fuck.
00:12:11Finally.
00:12:13Mmm.
00:12:14Oh, now that's a refreshing mint.
00:12:16That's what I'm talking about.
00:12:17Yes, I'm aware of that.
00:12:18Now give me one of yours.
00:12:19Ah, yes.
00:12:20Of course.
00:12:22Hmm.
00:12:22Wait a minute.
00:12:23That's weird.
00:12:24Oh, man.
00:12:26I thought I had my mints, but I guess I don't.
00:12:29Sorry.
00:12:29I guess I can't honor my own.
00:12:31Oh, typical Kurt.
00:12:32Promise and don't deliver.
00:12:34Typical Rem.
00:12:35Always keep in school.
00:12:37Uh, guide?
00:12:38You made an oath.
00:12:39Who cares?
00:12:40You swore on devil shit.
00:12:41Fuck devil shit.
00:12:42Look out.
00:12:43Whoa.
00:12:43Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:12:45What's going on?
00:12:46Everything's going in.
00:12:47Hey, Kurt.
00:12:48Hey, help me.
00:12:49Hold on.
00:12:50What the hell's going on?
00:12:51What the fuck?
00:12:52This is one of your bullshit tricks, Remi.
00:12:54This is a prank.
00:12:55I'm going to fucking kill you.
00:12:57Beelzebub.
00:13:01What just happened?
00:13:02I don't know.
00:13:02Jesus Christ.
00:13:03I have no idea what I just saw.
00:13:04What did you do?
00:13:05What are you talking about?
00:13:06What did I do?
00:13:06I didn't conjure up a vortex.
00:13:08Kurt just got sucked into another dimension, Remi.
00:13:10Oh, really, Augie?
00:13:11I thought that portal went to Barnes & Noble.
00:13:13We got to go in after him.
00:13:14Kurt wouldn't go in after me.
00:13:15Yeah, he would.
00:13:16He's your friend.
00:13:17I hate friends.
00:13:18You were the one that made it a blood oath.
00:13:20All right.
00:13:21Let's go.
00:13:22This mysterious portal better be quick.
00:13:24What is that?
00:13:44What is that?
00:13:46I wish we were in Barnes & Noble.
00:14:05I'm not being a pussy.
00:14:17That was really scary, right?
00:14:18I'm so scared.
00:14:19My shit just shit its pants.
00:14:21Where are we?
00:14:22I don't know.
00:14:23Why do you act like I've done this before?
00:14:25What are those things?
00:14:26Look, it's Kurt.
00:14:27I'm an American.
00:14:28Jack, get your hands off me.
00:14:29Don't waterboard me, dude.
00:14:30Where are we?
00:14:37We're screwed.
00:14:38Who are those people?
00:14:54Lake of fire.
00:14:56Sin.
00:14:56Lake of fire.
00:14:57Sin.
00:14:58Lake of fire.
00:14:59Sin.
00:14:59Lake of fire.
00:15:00Holy shit!
00:15:02Dude, we gotta hide.
00:15:07May I take your order?
00:15:10I will have a, uh, pepperoni pizza, please.
00:15:14There ain't no pepperoni pizza.
00:15:16Oh, I'm sorry, but it does say Pizza Hut and Taco Bell,
00:15:19so I thought maybe I could get some pizza as well.
00:15:22It says pizza, and it says taco,
00:15:25but we only got taco.
00:15:26Oh, you're being tortured.
00:15:30Oh, uh, all right.
00:15:32Order another pizza.
00:15:33I think I see where this is headed.
00:15:33Just order the damn pizza.
00:15:35All right, we'll have a, uh, pizza with extra cheese, please.
00:15:38There ain't no pizza.
00:15:40You can have a chalupa, burrito, uh, chiro.
00:15:44Now, it does say Pizza Hut Taco Bell.
00:15:47Yeah, yeah, yeah, welcome to hell.
00:15:49Oh, my God!
00:15:50We're in hell!
00:15:52Lake of fire!
00:15:53If you lend him a pen, he chews on it.
00:15:55Lake of fire!
00:15:56Fat guy with the nickname Tiny.
00:15:58Lake of fire!
00:15:59Ha ha ha!
00:16:00Lunch?
00:16:01Damn, man, we got 20 minutes before break.
00:16:03Ah, who's gonna know?
00:16:04Sometimes I think your heart's not in this anymore.
00:16:06Sorry, man.
00:16:07I'm just going through some fucking life changes right now, you know?
00:16:11I'm gonna throw you into fucking fame.
00:16:12Is that immortal?
00:16:13What the fuck are you doing?
00:16:14Uh, who, us?
00:16:16Uh, just floating around trying to get ham, dude.
00:16:20Spring breaking it.
00:16:23Bullshit going on.
00:16:24Take him back to processing.
00:16:25No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:16:26Take him to the office.
00:16:27Where?
00:16:27Wait, let's talk about this.
00:16:29Ha ha!
00:16:30Ouch!
00:16:31Hey!
00:16:31Come on!
00:16:32Ouch!
00:16:34Ouch!
00:16:34Oh, okay, okay!
00:16:36Please rule all religious paraphernalia.
00:16:42If you're a priest or a nun, that's just really funny because you wasted your life.
00:16:46Enjoy your stay in hell and remember you're here for a reason or you're Jewish.
00:16:50Pick up after yourself.
00:16:52Your mother doesn't live here.
00:16:53If she does, she was a whore.
00:17:01What is this place?
00:17:02Wait, what the fuck is that thing?
00:17:12Remy?
00:17:12Remy?
00:17:13What?
00:17:13There's nobody here.
00:17:16Ow!
00:17:18I don't know, Aki.
00:17:20This place is incredible.
00:17:22No, Remy.
00:17:23Don't touch anything.
00:17:24This is stranger danger all around us.
00:17:27Now, everyone, eat your own genitals!
00:17:30Stop!
00:17:30Oh, we already ate them.
00:17:33Well, throw up your genitals and eat them again!
00:17:36Our budget is out of control!
00:17:39And I've got a report here that says we're making lost souls walk over warm coal.
00:17:46Oh, they're pretty hot.
00:17:47I walked over them myself.
00:17:49It felt like a freaking foot massage.
00:17:51We've all had to cut corners.
00:17:53Even the gluttons are beginning to look anorexic.
00:17:56Our dental plan is a steep deductible.
00:17:58Our union hasn't had a sacrifice in three years!
00:18:01The reason that shit's all fucked up is because we're not paying our people right.
00:18:05Yes!
00:18:05Our team!
00:18:06Hell yeah, nigga!
00:18:11Dude, I can't believe you used the N-word.
00:18:13What?
00:18:14No, I can say it down here.
00:18:15Down here's okay.
00:18:17All of you, get the fuck out of here!
00:18:19He is being a real bitch today!
00:18:35Gloria, hold my calls!
00:18:38Hump day!
00:18:39The lunchroom fridge will be cleaned out on Friday!
00:18:43They should at least give us till Monday!
00:18:45If you leave any food, drinks, or containers in there...
00:18:47My spring rolls?
00:18:48They will be thrown out!
00:18:49That's my food!
00:18:50It's still good!
00:18:51What?
00:18:52P.S.
00:18:52You also have a time-sensitive email from the Demons Union.
00:18:55Oh, Demons Union!
00:18:57What do they want?
00:18:58They put in a request to have the new mortal tortured and sacrificed.
00:19:02Gert's gonna be sacrificed?
00:19:04I've got to find him.
00:19:06Oh, boy.
00:19:07P.P.S. Barb's on her way down here from heaven.
00:19:10What?
00:19:10She's flying down here right now?
00:19:12I'll tell her you're unavailable.
00:19:14No, no, no!
00:19:15Tell her I've cleared my schedule just for her.
00:19:18Okay.
00:19:19I'm gonna be off the grid for a few minutes.
00:19:21Now I'll just rub one out so I don't finish too quickly tonight.
00:19:25Ah, shirts and skins with his ears.
00:19:31I love the room.
00:19:32Hey, Remy, what are you doing?
00:19:46I'm looking for clues to help us find Kurt.
00:19:49Ooh, the devil's cell phone.
00:19:52That might come in handy.
00:19:53Ah!
00:19:57Whoa.
00:19:58The devil's actual devil's brew.
00:20:01Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:20:08Augie!
00:20:09Are you okay?
00:20:11Ah!
00:20:12Wah!
00:20:13Ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah, motherfucker!
00:20:15That's the real shit!
00:20:18More, more!
00:20:18I need more, please.
00:20:19Please, give me more.
00:20:20I drink a pint of ass blood for another sip of that flu!
00:20:23Unneeded inside of it!
00:20:25If heaven's right, then I want to be wrong in hell with this sweet, sweet ambrosia!
00:20:29Do-wop, tit-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-
00:20:59Qui est Orpheus ?
00:21:01Tu ne sais pas ta mythologie grecque, tu ?
00:21:05Orpheus ?
00:21:06Le mortier qui venait à la terre pour sauver sa femme ?
00:21:09Quelqu'un ?
00:21:10Man, l'éducation publique !
00:21:12C'est pas mal que les Chinois sont en train de nous !
00:21:14Attends, donc il trouve les mortiers et les sauverait de la terre ?
00:21:17Parce que tu sais ce qu'on fait pour les mortiers dans la terre !
00:21:20Bob est en train d'aller dans votre office !
00:21:22Je dis qu'elle ne peut pas entrer un annoncé !
00:21:24Damn !
00:21:25Look !
00:21:26Je vais te tuer les deux !
00:21:27Mais j'ai besoin d'un petit peu de temps avec l'angèle !
00:21:30Donc, s'il vous plaît !
00:21:31Et j'ai l'impression que les derniers moments de vie !
00:21:33C'est génial !
00:21:34C'est génial !
00:21:35C'est génial !
00:21:36C'est génial !
00:21:37C'est génial !
00:21:38C'est génial !
00:22:02Oh, oh, look at this new style of yours.
00:22:06You're quite the dandy.
00:22:08That's a real statement.
00:22:11Wow, you really look good, huh?
00:22:13Oh, you.
00:22:14How do you do it?
00:22:15Low carbs and porn.
00:22:17Barb, you got nice ones.
00:22:19Oh, see, I'm not wearing a bra either.
00:22:22No, your wings.
00:22:24Have you had work done on your wings?
00:22:25No.
00:22:26They're gorgeous.
00:22:27Oh, devil, stop it.
00:22:29I have a little problem.
00:22:32I want to help so bad.
00:22:35Somehow, I have to find and extract two mortals
00:22:38from unauthorized damnation within your jurisdiction.
00:22:42Two mortals, huh?
00:22:44If I find them for you, what's my reward?
00:22:46If you find them, I'll do things with you
00:22:49that would make the Internet blush.
00:22:52Ooh, yeah.
00:22:56This is my lucky day.
00:22:58Look over there, Barb.
00:23:01Mini-golf.
00:23:03Wait, uh, hold on.
00:23:04Keep looking.
00:23:06What?
00:23:07Gah!
00:23:07Work machine!
00:23:09Gah!
00:23:10You know what?
00:23:11Stop.
00:23:11Just stop.
00:23:13Wait, Barb, where are you going?
00:23:15I'm flying back to heaven.
00:23:17Don't text me until you've found the two mortals.
00:23:19Wait, Barb, I...
00:23:20I love you.
00:23:21Good luck.
00:23:24Gloria, I need you to put out an APV on those two mortals
00:23:28and make it clear that if they're not found,
00:23:31I will rip every demon's head off.
00:23:34Do you have any idea where they're heading?
00:23:36Mmm, I might have told them about Orpheus a little.
00:23:41Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:23:42Ow!
00:23:43Attention, demons.
00:23:45There are two mortals on the loose in hell.
00:23:47So if everyone could put down your spears
00:23:49and look around your work area,
00:23:51repeat, two mortals.
00:23:52Did we just get name-checked by hell's public address system?
00:23:55One is a normal-looking guy,
00:23:57and the other one looks like he only eats dough.
00:24:00That seemed a little mean.
00:24:01Anybody?
00:24:02Whoa!
00:24:03Augie, Augie, check it out.
00:24:04A gondola.
00:24:05Let's go!
00:24:06We are deploying all demons to locate and capture the two mortals.
00:24:11They are on their way to find Orpheus.
00:24:14Orpheus!
00:24:29We're gondola in 60 seconds.
00:24:32Boo.
00:24:33What?
00:24:33Gone in 60 seconds is a movie about you eating a wedding cake.
00:24:36Do you know where we're going?
00:24:37Let's find Orpheus.
00:24:39I got an idea for another great punishment.
00:24:41Imagine this.
00:24:42Hot girl, she asks you out.
00:24:44She's like, hey, let's go do Bikram yoga.
00:24:46You go, you do yoga.
00:24:48It's hot, it's sweaty.
00:24:49She looks fucking great.
00:24:50She shows you every major flexibility that she has.
00:24:53Sweaty in all the right places.
00:24:55What do they call that one move?
00:24:56Dog down.
00:24:57She can get her feet behind her ears.
00:24:59She can put her legs behind her fucking neck and walk home on her ass.
00:25:03She's making her body into that alphabet right there on that yoga mat.
00:25:07A, B, C, D.
00:25:09And she's spelling out fuck me.
00:25:10Of course she is.
00:25:11While you're doing yoga, which sucks for you.
00:25:13But you're going to do it because you're going to get to fuck this hot girl after.
00:25:15Oh, I love that.
00:25:16Another night?
00:25:17Good night, I got to go home.
00:25:18What?
00:25:19So you do yoga day after day and no sex.
00:25:23That would be the ultimate punishment for any man.
00:25:26That's a great punishment.
00:25:27I've always feared that I was meant to die a virgin.
00:25:30Like that's my main purpose.
00:25:31Shut up, Augie.
00:25:33Hey, does that look like those mortals?
00:25:35They found us.
00:25:36Oh, I guess it is.
00:25:37Throw them in the lake of fire.
00:25:39The mortals have been spotted on the devil's gondola.
00:25:41Come on, over here.
00:25:42Bring back the mortals, alive.
00:25:45Let's go.
00:25:46No.
00:25:47Wait, two, one.
00:25:48It's a living.
00:25:56Run, run.
00:26:00Get back here.
00:26:02You're not going anywhere.
00:26:05Augie!
00:26:05I'm going to fuck you two up.
00:26:09Where are you going to go now?
00:26:11Hold on.
00:26:12There he is.
00:26:13Get him.
00:26:14Kill him.
00:26:15No, my mints.
00:26:16Hey, everybody.
00:26:17We got men.
00:26:18Hit him right in men.
00:26:24Hold on.
00:26:25Oh!
00:26:26You like getting stabbed?
00:26:29I'll cut that little face of yours.
00:26:31Maybe I'll make a bigger mouth.
00:26:33No, no, no, no, no.
00:26:34Here, you want a soda pop?
00:26:55Oh, I wouldn't say no.
00:26:56It's flat.
00:26:59You got a flat soda.
00:27:01You got me.
00:27:03Here, you want some Neapolitan ice cream?
00:27:05Oh, thank you.
00:27:05All right, here it is.
00:27:06Oh, now someone seems to have eaten all of the chocolate and vanilla.
00:27:09Yeah, that's right.
00:27:10You just had strawberry.
00:27:12Well.
00:27:14You should drink some of this milk.
00:27:15Not usually a milk drinker.
00:27:16Boom.
00:27:18It's quick.
00:27:18It's, yeah.
00:27:19It's strawberry quick.
00:27:20Not even chocolate quick.
00:27:22No, it's that strawberry crap.
00:27:23It's not fun.
00:27:24Welcome to hell.
00:27:25Let's see.
00:27:31Alumni Association.
00:27:32No thanks.
00:27:33Starving children?
00:27:34Fuck you.
00:27:35Devil, Sal and Dave called to say they lost the two mortals you were looking for.
00:27:40I think Bob's gonna be disappointed.
00:27:43Damn it!
00:27:43I'm surrounded by idiots.
00:27:45Put them through.
00:27:47Hey, boss.
00:27:49What are you doing?
00:27:51I just did yoga.
00:27:52Turns out dudes only.
00:27:54Huge bummer.
00:27:56Oh, good.
00:27:57Oh, good.
00:27:57You're finding your core.
00:27:58This is good to hear.
00:27:59Hey, once you find your core, go find the mortals!
00:28:05Okay, plan of attack.
00:28:07Let's see if I, uh...
00:28:08Aha!
00:28:09Gloria, I need you to announce the biggest sacrifice at the crossroads that hell has ever seen.
00:28:15Okay, devil.
00:28:16Then I'll simply wait for the other mortals to come to me.
00:28:24I really gotta grow a mustache.
00:28:36Now let's see here.
00:28:38Push this head.
00:28:40Oh!
00:28:41Faster than I remembered.
00:28:42Ah!
00:28:44This elevator can't be up to code!
00:28:46Ah!
00:28:46Let's see the last time.
00:28:48It was inspected.
00:28:49It was...
00:28:49Ah!
00:28:50Ah!
00:28:53Okay, void in my bowels.
00:28:56You can do this, buddy.
00:28:57This is for the demons.
00:28:58Ah!
00:28:59Ah!
00:29:00Ah!
00:29:00Ah!
00:29:01Ah!
00:29:02Ah!
00:29:02Ah!
00:29:02Ah!
00:29:03They love this shit.
00:29:04Let's do this!
00:29:05All right, everybody.
00:29:07Prepare to meet our Dark Lord!
00:29:09Ta-da!
00:29:09Oh, hell, look at that alive!
00:29:12You're goddamn right!
00:29:14The worst of the worst!
00:29:15Buck and A!
00:29:17The hell pig of Buck Mountain!
00:29:19Don't love that one!
00:29:21The douchiest of all bands!
00:29:23That was kind of mean, actually.
00:29:24The dick of all assholes.
00:29:26Okay, that's enough.
00:29:28The guy who fucks her mother and tells you about it always just one step too far!
00:29:33Ah!
00:29:34Oh!
00:29:35Ah!
00:29:35Ah!
00:29:36Ah!
00:29:36Where's the fucking mortal?
00:29:38Hot fuck action to the max.
00:29:42That's what I like.
00:29:43Hot fuck action to the max.
00:29:45Got a big dick.
00:29:47Ugh!
00:29:47What do you have to say for yourself?
00:29:49Oh!
00:29:50Where am I?
00:29:51You poor dumb bastard.
00:29:53You don't even know what's going on.
00:29:56Fella, you're in hell.
00:29:57Oh, boy.
00:29:59And who are you?
00:30:00Can you believe this guy?
00:30:01I'm the fucking devil!
00:30:03No one had the decency to torture this guy before I got down here.
00:30:09The boys were just hoping to see the master at work.
00:30:12I mean, you are the man, the devil.
00:30:14Enough ass kissing.
00:30:16Now, which one of these dastardly contraptions shall I use?
00:30:22Ah!
00:30:24Perhaps this one.
00:30:25Oh, no, no, that's our foosball table, chief.
00:30:28Gah!
00:30:30Moving on.
00:30:32Aha!
00:30:33Get in here.
00:30:36Okay.
00:30:40There!
00:30:41Tell me of the pain you feel so we may laugh at you.
00:30:46Ah, okay.
00:30:48Um, actually, the bouncing up and down is kind of giving me a tickle in a funny spot.
00:30:52It is not tickling.
00:30:53Is this a Sibian?
00:30:55No!
00:30:55I assure you, this is a Sibian.
00:30:57You get off it.
00:30:58Try this, yes.
00:30:58Let me on.
00:30:59Let me on!
00:31:02It's a Sibian.
00:31:03Ah!
00:31:03Ah!
00:31:04Ah!
00:31:04Ah!
00:31:14Oh, wait a minute, guys.
00:31:17Seriously.
00:31:18Come on.
00:31:18What do you want?
00:31:19I'll give you anything.
00:31:20Please don't do this, for God's sake.
00:31:23Please, I'll stroke your shaft and play with your nuts.
00:31:26I'll stick my fingers in your ass.
00:31:28I will tickle your balls.
00:31:30I'll suck everybody's cock here.
00:31:32Whose cock is first?
00:31:34Ah!
00:31:35Don't do this!
00:31:37I'll suck...
00:31:37Oh, God.
00:31:38Ah!
00:31:39Yo, Mom, I got some of them out.
00:31:42Who's next?
00:31:43Ah!
00:31:45Shut up, or I'll drill your brains and turn you into sex zombies.
00:31:49Why are you mortals here?
00:31:50I, uh, uh, he, he found a crying devil book and made our friend take a blood of, which I was up for, but now I look back on his mistake.
00:31:57And he broke the oath.
00:31:58That's why we're here.
00:32:00Not because I...
00:32:00Why are you looking for Orpheus?
00:32:02Because he...
00:32:03Because Orpheus is the only one who can save our friend.
00:32:10Girl.
00:32:10Hey, you tricked us.
00:32:13Yeah, that's false advertising.
00:32:14I know.
00:32:15I'm bad.
00:32:17But I could still kill you, because I'm half demon.
00:32:20Oh, okay.
00:32:21Take me to Orpheus.
00:32:22Only if you take us to Kurt first.
00:32:25Fuck no.
00:32:26Um, yeah, the way I see it, you can't find Orpheus without us.
00:32:31So, we've got the upper hand, purple lady.
00:32:35Take me to Orpheus.
00:32:39Hey, that's my heart.
00:32:41Ten.
00:32:42Nine.
00:32:43Heart belongs in body.
00:32:44Oh, do you need your little heart?
00:32:46Seven.
00:32:46Pretty sure you're gonna die.
00:32:48Take my liver.
00:32:49It's already dead.
00:32:50It needs its owner.
00:32:51Put it back in.
00:32:52Five.
00:32:53Oh, it's slowing down.
00:32:55Three.
00:32:57Two.
00:32:58It shouldn't be outside of my bath.
00:33:00Take your last breath.
00:33:03Okay, okay, okay.
00:33:04Don't kill my friend.
00:33:08I saw a white light.
00:33:10And then my grandma, Mommy, was there.
00:33:12And she was like, hey, Remington, would you like a cookie?
00:33:15Where's Orpheus?
00:33:16Okay, okay.
00:33:17I got his address in here.
00:33:18God, crack screen.
00:33:20He's in the ancient...
00:33:22God, the ancient realm.
00:33:24It looks like the corner of Inferno and Martin Luther King Jr. Drive.
00:33:29It sounds like a good neighborhood.
00:33:31Do you know where that is?
00:33:33Dermessa, that lying bitch.
00:33:35He's been down there this whole time.
00:33:37Uh, everything okay?
00:33:39Yeah.
00:33:40You guys help me find Orpheus, and I'll get you to your friend, Kurt.
00:33:43Yes.
00:33:44Deal.
00:33:45Okay, everyone, keep it down.
00:33:54Let's get this thing started.
00:33:56Ooh, is that the mortal you're feeding to Beelzebub?
00:33:58Don't worry about it, okay?
00:34:00I got it handled.
00:34:01Gang, Kurt.
00:34:02Kurt gang.
00:34:03Hey, nobody told me it was bring your mortal to work day.
00:34:06Oh, is that what you think we're here for so you can all make jokes?
00:34:11I just got word we're going to start judging pets so dogs can go to heaven.
00:34:16You know what that means?
00:34:18Yes!
00:34:19We're getting all the asshole dogs!
00:34:21Yeah, we get like in-bred motherfuckers.
00:34:23Uh-huh.
00:34:24That's a lot of dogs.
00:34:25Now, I'm not running a kennel here.
00:34:27Hey, you!
00:34:28Does everyone have dogs?
00:34:29Well, not everyone.
00:34:30I have a cat.
00:34:31You know what the hardest part about having cats is?
00:34:33Telling your parents you're gay.
00:34:36No.
00:34:37Hey, cut the homophobic shit!
00:34:39You got it?
00:34:40Did you know that Azazel over here is gay?
00:34:44I'm sorry to out you, Az.
00:34:46Anyway.
00:34:47Now I gotta figure out who's gonna clean up all that dog shit.
00:34:51No.
00:34:52Hey, bro, just let the fucking mortal do it.
00:34:54Or feed it to the gluttons.
00:34:56Yeah, dog!
00:34:56Yeah, that's the way to do it.
00:34:58All of you, get the fuck out of here!
00:35:06What, what?
00:35:06Somebody's crazy evil today.
00:35:09Kurt, come sit over here, buddy.
00:35:16Whoa!
00:35:18Hold on!
00:35:19It's gonna get bumpy!
00:35:21Tima, I think we're lost!
00:35:23The GPS says we're supposed to pass a bail bond and a wig store.
00:35:26These idiots that work for me make a pile of shit
00:35:33and then they say, turn it into roses!
00:35:37Whoa, whoa, what happened?
00:35:39Oh, that's better.
00:35:40Bro, you just fucking shrunk!
00:35:41Well, that version of me is sort of my business suit.
00:35:44Keeps the demons in line.
00:35:46Really?
00:35:47Devil, the computer network is down again.
00:35:49I don't need this right now!
00:35:51And IT can't get here till tomorrow.
00:35:54Do you know that everything we use here is Dell?
00:35:56Can you believe that?
00:35:57Uh...
00:35:58I would much prefer a Mac.
00:36:00It's friendlier for creative types, you know?
00:36:02I consider myself an artist.
00:36:04Oh, an artist like Picasso or Banksy?
00:36:06Can I see some work?
00:36:07Well, I do have this one thing that I've been working on.
00:36:10Oh, you gotta let me see it.
00:36:11It's a blacklight painting.
00:36:13And you see here, this is a little devil on a dune buggy, right?
00:36:16And he's flipping off...
00:36:17What?
00:36:19What is that?
00:36:19I can't read your reaction.
00:36:21No, it's really good.
00:36:22Interesting thing about this...
00:36:24It's like a fucking cartoon.
00:36:25Nope, that's a realist painting.
00:36:27That's fucking hilarious.
00:36:28God.
00:36:29Do you have any more funny pictures?
00:36:30No, you don't get to see any more of my art.
00:36:33There's your first punishment in hell.
00:36:34Oh, that's...
00:36:36You did it to yourself.
00:36:41We're almost there.
00:36:42We gotta go to the bathroom.
00:36:44Use a cup.
00:36:44This is the way to Orpheus.
00:36:58What is this place?
00:36:59A microbrewery?
00:37:00Stay behind me and keep quiet.
00:37:01What the fuck is that thing?
00:37:08Dermessa.
00:37:09You wanna party?
00:37:11She's been in a 2,000-year bender.
00:37:13I want you to come on over here and look under my flap.
00:37:16Please stop.
00:37:17Is that right, Mom?
00:37:19Mom?
00:37:20How could you do it?
00:37:21All these years I've been searching,
00:37:23and he's been down here this whole time.
00:37:24He's a fuckface and a deadbeat.
00:37:27What?
00:37:28Orpheus is a poet, a noble warrior.
00:37:30You're in love with a drink.
00:37:34You wouldn't dare.
00:37:36Open the portal.
00:37:39Oh, you stupid little bitch!
00:37:42Devil's brew!
00:37:44Oh, I'll lick your can for 30 more drops of it.
00:37:47Stop it!
00:37:48I'll fucking kill you!
00:37:51You should have told me.
00:37:54I'm a swan.
00:37:55Oh, fuck.
00:37:57My bottom says meow.
00:38:00You fat pillbilly!
00:38:03You're letting us through!
00:38:06Stop it!
00:38:07I made smelly!
00:38:09God java!
00:38:10Parkour!
00:38:12My hand and feet are cops!
00:38:14My hand and feet are cops!
00:38:15Oh, no!
00:38:15No!
00:38:16No!
00:38:16No!
00:38:17Oh, mama.
00:38:19Oh, God!
00:38:20Why are we going down here again?
00:38:31Kurt!
00:38:31Right.
00:38:32Your friend Kurt.
00:38:33Our friend Kurt.
00:38:35Yeah.
00:38:36He's not what you think.
00:38:41He's only gonna disappoint you, Dima.
00:38:46I'm used to disappointment.
00:38:47It feels like my brain is vibrating in a good way.
00:39:00Best thing about whippets, you'll feel totally fine in 15 seconds.
00:39:03We used to do these at the carnival all the time.
00:39:05So, Devil, what's your story, man?
00:39:11How'd you get down here?
00:39:12I used to live upstairs, you know.
00:39:14I was actually besties with the big man.
00:39:16You mean God?
00:39:17Yes, sir.
00:39:17I was in charge of his armies, too.
00:39:19But they went off to battle, and I was off with this sweet set of wings.
00:39:23Man, there was this angel that was epic in bed.
00:39:26She had a pussy inside her pussy.
00:39:29What?
00:39:29Is that real?
00:39:30Turns out God was dating her, too, so I guess I'm the asshole.
00:39:35So, wait, wait, wait.
00:39:36You're the devil, and have been condemned to hell for eternity for fucking God's girlfriend?
00:39:41Yep.
00:39:42Oh, it sounds like you got some kind of angel fetish, man.
00:39:44They're gonna be the death of me.
00:39:46Check this shit out.
00:39:47Oh, yeah.
00:39:48Wow, what's her name?
00:39:49Barb.
00:39:50I fucking love her, man.
00:39:51But she barely knows I exist.
00:39:54Oh, I doubt that.
00:39:55Oh, man.
00:39:56Those wings are so white and soft.
00:40:01Barb, why aren't we married?
00:40:05Whoa!
00:40:10Migraines in hell are really bad.
00:40:13I blacked out.
00:40:14Yeah.
00:40:16Don't let me drink devil's brew again.
00:40:18Oh, my God.
00:40:19Hey, I didn't have sex with that blue lady, did I?
00:40:22Not in the biblical sense.
00:40:25Whoa.
00:40:25Whoa.
00:40:27This must be the way to Orpheus.
00:40:29What?
00:40:29We're gonna swim there?
00:40:30Nope.
00:40:31We're gonna take that submersible.
00:40:32Cool.
00:40:36Augie, take this rope and attach it to that hook.
00:40:39Remy, you go inside and man the controls.
00:40:41Come on, hop to it.
00:40:43Jeez, whose side are you on?
00:40:45What?
00:40:45You don't like teamwork?
00:40:47I'm just trying to be positive and build the foundation of trust within the framework.
00:40:50Wow.
00:40:51Yeah.
00:40:52Oh, yeah.
00:40:54Yeah.
00:40:55Me strokey.
00:40:56Me have a strokey.
00:40:58Losing motor skills.
00:41:01Tasting.
00:41:02Penis.
00:41:02I'm releasing the first cable now, Augie.
00:41:09Damn it, Augie.
00:41:11Get inside.
00:41:13I'll have to adjust the ballast manually.
00:41:17Hey, what happened?
00:41:18I'm so fake interested.
00:41:20Whoa.
00:41:21Purple paradise.
00:41:43Come on, you guys.
00:41:44If we're gonna get through this, you're gonna have to listen to me.
00:41:47I do what I want, when I want.
00:41:48Really?
00:41:49Get this off me.
00:41:52You're gonna wear this until you learn to listen.
00:41:58Well, dip me in salt and lick my asshole.
00:42:00What?
00:42:01It's a saying I'm trying to get started.
00:42:06Hey, what's this?
00:42:07Yeah, that's my idea book.
00:42:09I jot down new punishments I think of as I go about my day.
00:42:12Well, the devil has a little genius pad.
00:42:15Let's see what you got.
00:42:16It's a catapult, right?
00:42:17With poop inside.
00:42:18See, now these here, they're stink lines.
00:42:20Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, devil.
00:42:22That dude getting sacrificed looks a lot like me.
00:42:24Yeah, my cartoonist is good, huh?
00:42:26What, you mean that's supposed to be me?
00:42:27Yeah, you're the one being sacrificed.
00:42:29I thought I told you that.
00:42:30Whoa.
00:42:37Augie, get your head in the game, man.
00:42:39What's the matter with you?
00:42:40I don't know, Remy.
00:42:41I think I'm in love.
00:42:43Oh, no, no, no.
00:42:44We're coming in too fast.
00:42:46You wouldn't even know what to do with her.
00:42:48Okay, little tabby kid from Goonies.
00:42:5030 degrees to starboard.
00:42:52I got it, Tima.
00:42:53I'll do it.
00:42:54See?
00:42:54We have a connection, Remy.
00:42:56Why is the sub listing?
00:42:58Oh, no.
00:43:00This is really bad, Augie.
00:43:01She said Augie.
00:43:03You're in the friend zone, and you don't even know it.
00:43:05How would you know the friend zone?
00:43:07I've only read about the friend zone in Bomber magazine.
00:43:10See, I love nobody, and that's what makes me a leader.
00:43:17What the fuck is that?
00:43:30This is an RPG nightmare.
00:43:33Where there's no leveling up.
00:43:35Oh, my God.
00:43:36Dima, are you okay?
00:43:37We've crossed over to the ancient realm.
00:43:43Get behind me!
00:43:46You travel the path of Orpheus.
00:43:50Yes, we do!
00:43:52Then know the fate of Orpheus.
00:43:59Get it?
00:44:00This is the fate of Orpheus.
00:44:02I'm still alive.
00:44:03This mech is pretty tits, right?
00:44:05Wait, you're Orpheus?
00:44:17I've spent my whole life dreaming of the day I could finally meet you.
00:44:21Well, that's very flattering, but I tried to be up front with all my groupies.
00:44:25I'm not the marrying type.
00:44:27No, we've come to rescue you.
00:44:30You can rescue my sperm from my testes.
00:44:34You guys want to see my digs?
00:44:36Uh, fuck and yes together equals fuck yes.
00:44:40Then fucking yes it is.
00:44:41Let's do this.
00:44:42Orpheus.
00:44:43Nice to meet you.
00:44:44I'm Augie.
00:44:44I put Skittles in my cereal.
00:44:46Who is this mushy man?
00:44:49We were told you're an expert at getting mortals out of hell.
00:44:52Ho, ho, ho.
00:44:52Who told you that?
00:44:54Is that true?
00:44:56You're really gonna kill me?
00:44:58Yeah.
00:44:58I thought we had a good thing going on here.
00:45:00We were just broin' out.
00:45:02We were.
00:45:03But it says here that you made a blood oath and you broke it.
00:45:07Seriously?
00:45:08A blood oath?
00:45:09Yeah, it was dumb.
00:45:10Nobody does blood oaths anymore.
00:45:12Not since that guy fucked a monkey.
00:45:15Well, I...
00:45:16You promised somebody a breath mint and you reneged.
00:45:19Really?
00:45:19Re...
00:45:20That is lame.
00:45:23But also punishable by death and an eternity in hell.
00:45:27Damn.
00:45:28Seriously?
00:45:29There's nothing you can do.
00:45:30If you'd given him a mint back, you wouldn't even be here.
00:45:34With my ideas for hell, I'm worth a lot more to you alive than dead.
00:45:38Well, you...
00:45:39You got a point.
00:45:41Hmm.
00:45:41Options.
00:45:42Possibilities.
00:45:42You know, I could give another mortal to the demons union.
00:45:45Spare your life.
00:45:46That's great!
00:45:47What can I do to repay you?
00:45:48Why don't you help me to make this sacrifice a huge event?
00:45:53A spectacle so big that it might even impress a certain angel.
00:46:01Deal?
00:46:02Deal.
00:46:02That's it?
00:46:03Thank you, devil.
00:46:04Actually, I'm going to need you to sign an initial this and this.
00:46:10It's a non-disclosure agreement.
00:46:11Oh, and anyone working here under my employ needs to pass a urine test.
00:46:16We just did drugs together like an hour ago.
00:46:18I know.
00:46:19I just kind of wanted your piss.
00:46:20Oh.
00:46:28Down here!
00:46:30No way!
00:46:31That's so rad!
00:46:32Hey, is that a pogo stick?
00:46:41It sure is, Bromeo.
00:46:42150 jumps yesterday.
00:46:44Give it up.
00:46:44No breaks.
00:46:45What?
00:46:45What?
00:46:46Yeah, yeah!
00:46:47Wait.
00:46:48I thought you said pogo sticks are for pussies.
00:46:50You said what about a pogo stick?
00:46:53Um...
00:46:53You said the pogo stick was a dick, and only a pussy would need to jump up and down on
00:46:57it over and over.
00:46:59No, I didn't say pogo sticks.
00:47:00I said hobo dicks.
00:47:03Why is this woman lying?
00:47:05He's a fat little lesbian that lies.
00:47:08I like pogo sticks.
00:47:09I would never disrespect a pogo stick.
00:47:11This is what you've been doing for the last 2,000 years?
00:47:15You've been down here playing with toys.
00:47:17Check that as a yes.
00:47:19Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:47:20No thank you, Charon.
00:47:21We're fine.
00:47:23That guy thinks his boats are the shit.
00:47:25The wood is rotting.
00:47:27It's a boat only fit for illegal immigrants.
00:47:30I wish he'd just row back to Cuba.
00:47:35Remy Rams, check out my skills, yo.
00:47:37Hell yeah, man.
00:47:40Wow.
00:47:41Pretty cool, huh?
00:47:41That's me.
00:47:42She looks pretty hot.
00:47:43Look how hot I am.
00:47:47That's incredible, man.
00:47:48You painted that?
00:47:49I painted it and posed for it at the same time.
00:47:52How do you even physically do that?
00:47:53You're amazing.
00:47:54Remy, I am just like you.
00:47:56I put my underwear on one ball at a time.
00:47:59When did you learn to paint?
00:48:00The moment I was born, I came out of the womb,
00:48:03and I quickly turned around,
00:48:04and I painted my mother's vagina.
00:48:09You guys like the lyre?
00:48:13Is that like a guitar?
00:48:14I don't know.
00:48:15Does a guitar increase the gravity of a pair of woman's panties?
00:48:18Mm-hmm.
00:48:20I could make a tree bone me with this thing,
00:48:22and the trees will bone you here, so be careful.
00:48:26Does this sound right to you?
00:48:27Yeah, that sounds good.
00:48:28A tree will fuck me?
00:48:31When I was a small boy,
00:48:32I was walking through a forest,
00:48:34and a tree tried to overpower me.
00:48:36Oh, really?
00:48:37What did you do?
00:48:38He pushed me on the ground
00:48:39and wrapped his leaves around my face and arms,
00:48:42and then the next thing I knew,
00:48:43a branch was penetrating my ass.
00:48:46Oh, God.
00:48:47Ah.
00:48:48It was a pointy, pointy branch.
00:48:51I mean, did he wear, like, a leaf condom or anything?
00:48:53No.
00:48:54Just bark.
00:48:56When he was done,
00:48:57he shed his egg corns upon my back.
00:49:01Oh, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.
00:49:04Um, Orpheus, uh,
00:49:08what were you wearing
00:49:09when the tree violated you?
00:49:12You think I asked for it?
00:49:13Were you maybe dressed like a bush?
00:49:16I was dressed like a human being!
00:49:18Oh, right, I'm sorry.
00:49:19I'm gonna go and start a shelter for tree rape victims.
00:49:22It's not a joke.
00:49:25Uh, Mr. Orpheus,
00:49:26why have you stayed here if you could leave at any time?
00:49:29Especially with trees like my Uncle Carl.
00:49:31Well, me and my road dogs
00:49:33used to come down here all the time
00:49:35rescuing virgins,
00:49:36and they'd say,
00:49:37Oh, well, some now, gangster.
00:49:39Let me thank you with my lady parts.
00:49:41Well, if I must.
00:49:42Oh, by the way, this baby's yours.
00:49:44And then I'm just like,
00:49:45I'm out of here, missy.
00:49:47Responsibilities.
00:49:48That shit is zombie walk, man.
00:49:51I'm like black people.
00:49:52I'll take freedom.
00:49:53Preacher, meet the choir.
00:49:56Wow, Orpheus.
00:49:57Don't you ever get lonely down here?
00:49:59You must have once wished you had a family, right?
00:50:02Guess what?
00:50:03No.
00:50:03Ha ha ha ha!
00:50:04Fun times we're all having together.
00:50:06You know what else would be fun?
00:50:07Finding Kurt.
00:50:08It's the reason we came down here.
00:50:10Ugh, fine.
00:50:12Whatevs.
00:50:13I can get you wherever you want to go,
00:50:14but first,
00:50:15you must pass
00:50:16The Trials of the Mortals.
00:50:24Well, I hope you all are ready
00:50:25for a physical challenge.
00:50:26Who wants to see how good I am?
00:50:32Yes, okay.
00:50:33Moving, moving, breathing very hard.
00:50:36Super strong, super speed.
00:50:39Watch me fucking leap so high!
00:50:42Stuck it.
00:50:42I can leap and fart at the same...
00:50:45Oh!
00:50:46Fuck me!
00:50:47Oh!
00:50:48It hurts so bad.
00:50:49I'm weak.
00:50:51You know what?
00:50:51You guys are good.
00:50:52Everyone passed.
00:50:54A pluses.
00:50:54Thank you.
00:50:59Warriors,
00:51:00I've tested your mind and body.
00:51:02Now,
00:51:03the hardest test of all.
00:51:05You must resist that
00:51:06which tears all mortal men apart.
00:51:09Women.
00:51:10In a minute,
00:51:11a super hot sexy bitch
00:51:12is going to come through that door
00:51:14and try to seduce you
00:51:15into telling her the secret word.
00:51:17She will stop at absolutely nothing
00:51:19to get it out of you.
00:51:21You will want to fuck her silly.
00:51:23Trust me.
00:51:24No matter what she does,
00:51:25no matter how long she fucks you,
00:51:27do not give her the secret word.
00:51:29I repeat,
00:51:30do not give it to her.
00:51:32The secret word is Jasmine.
00:51:33Who wants to take their ball sacks
00:51:48and put them in my mouth?
00:51:50Jasmine, Jasmine, Jasmine, Jasmine, Jasmine!
00:51:51You all failed to resist her charms.
00:52:01I was watching from a remote monitor
00:52:04in the other room.
00:52:07But you can all move on.
00:52:09Back to my tiki bar!
00:52:10Yes!
00:52:10All right!
00:52:11The one that I built out of that tree
00:52:13that sodomized me.
00:52:16Didn't we pass?
00:52:18I don't understand.
00:52:18I can't believe I've spent my entire life
00:52:21looking for this loser.
00:52:23I just need to find out one thing for sure
00:52:25and then I can put this behind me.
00:52:27Wait.
00:52:28What?
00:52:31Garçon,
00:52:32these men need some victory juice
00:52:33to pour down our head holes.
00:52:36Let's make a toast.
00:52:37You're rescuing Kurt.
00:52:39No.
00:52:39To all the road dogs
00:52:40who have the courage
00:52:41to leave their pregnant wives.
00:52:43Yeah, fuck them hoes.
00:52:46Orpheus,
00:52:46I bet you like all flavor bitches.
00:52:48The fuck I do.
00:52:50Chinese, Asian, Korean,
00:52:51Pan-Asian,
00:52:52Pan-Korean.
00:52:53Goo-goo guy pan.
00:52:54That's a Cantonese dinner dish.
00:52:56Yeah.
00:52:57You'd fuck a Cantonese dinner dish?
00:52:59Um, yes.
00:53:01Well then, cool.
00:53:02Pfft.
00:53:03No fab bitches.
00:53:05No.
00:53:06Dima?
00:53:07You're the coolest chick ever.
00:53:09You're just like me.
00:53:10If you didn't have a pussy,
00:53:10I'd think you were my son.
00:53:12And if you didn't have a pussy,
00:53:13I'd think you were my dad.
00:53:15Oh, busted.
00:53:16Come on, Orpheus.
00:53:18Get on the real, real.
00:53:20You never fucked a demon.
00:53:21Well, okay.
00:53:23There was just this one.
00:53:25What was it like?
00:53:26So we're in the bone zone.
00:53:27I'm really finding my rhythm.
00:53:29And suddenly she drops the,
00:53:30oh, let's move into my cottage
00:53:31made of tentacles.
00:53:33And I was like,
00:53:33peace out.
00:53:35Man,
00:53:35I heard she really clumped up.
00:53:37Twinkies just jumped into her mouth.
00:53:39What was her name?
00:53:40I barely remember.
00:53:41I believe it was,
00:53:43uh,
00:53:43hmm.
00:53:44Dermessa.
00:53:46Oh, shit!
00:53:47It's my face!
00:53:48You deadbeat dad.
00:53:51All this time,
00:53:52I thought you were being held captive
00:53:53against your will.
00:53:55I convinced myself
00:53:56that is why you never came home.
00:53:58Wait, wait, Dima.
00:53:59Let's talk.
00:54:00You're still gonna take us to Kurt, right?
00:54:02I don't know where he is.
00:54:04Orpheus was supposed to have
00:54:05all the answers.
00:54:06You lied?
00:54:07Of course I lied.
00:54:09That's what demons do.
00:54:11What a purple bitch.
00:54:12How dare you say that to her?
00:54:14Someday she will be my purple wife.
00:54:16I told you she was a liar.
00:54:17Oh, yeah, that's right.
00:54:18Because you're smarter than everybody.
00:54:20I'm Remy.
00:54:21Look at my weird haircut.
00:54:22I wear a corduroy pea coat
00:54:23and listen to dubstep music.
00:54:25Well, I'm tired of it.
00:54:27Women usually do that to me
00:54:28after I make love to them.
00:54:30Augie!
00:54:31Fuck him, Remy.
00:54:32Let's watch my sweet-ass flat screen.
00:54:34I have the entire
00:54:35Big Mama's House trilogy.
00:54:37Dima!
00:54:48You're pathetic, you know that?
00:54:50Yeah.
00:54:51Where are you even going?
00:54:53Nowhere.
00:54:54We're just looking for you.
00:54:55I still think we can make
00:54:56a great Dima.
00:54:58I don't know why
00:54:59you still believe in me.
00:55:01I come from a lying demon
00:55:02and a selfish mortal.
00:55:04Doesn't change who you are.
00:55:05My dad's like a big jerk
00:55:07and my mom lied to him
00:55:08about being a woman.
00:55:10Okay.
00:55:11Um, I don't know
00:55:12what to do with that, Augie,
00:55:13but thanks for giving me
00:55:15another chance.
00:55:15get in.
00:55:22Whoa.
00:55:23Uh...
00:55:23Twitter alert
00:55:28from the demon union.
00:55:29What does it say?
00:55:30It's a reminder to tune in
00:55:32and watch the mortal sacrifice
00:55:34tonight at the crossroads.
00:55:36That's where they're going to
00:55:37sacrifice Kurt.
00:55:39Do you know how to get there?
00:55:39Yeah, it's really close to here.
00:55:44Big Mama, you fooled them again.
00:55:46Would you fuck, Big Mama?
00:55:48Yes.
00:55:49Would you?
00:55:50Bro-dog,
00:55:50I've fucked every woman
00:55:52I've ever met.
00:55:53Except for that
00:55:53smoking angel, Bob.
00:55:55She's the one that got away.
00:55:57What happened?
00:55:58She just wanted to be
00:55:59stupid friends.
00:56:01Ugh.
00:56:02I don't need friends anymore.
00:56:03You know what I mean?
00:56:03I need bros.
00:56:04Yeah.
00:56:05You know what I'm saying, man?
00:56:07Wake up.
00:56:07See my bros in the bunk bed above me.
00:56:09Play video games.
00:56:10Then we order some za.
00:56:12We eat it with all of our bros together,
00:56:14high-fiving after each bite.
00:56:15Then we all take a shit together.
00:56:17You have a bathroom
00:56:18with five toilets.
00:56:19Everyone making eye contact
00:56:20while reading Maxim.
00:56:21And the next day
00:56:22we do the same thing.
00:56:23It's the way of the bro,
00:56:24like you said.
00:56:25Well, your way of the bro
00:56:26is a little different than mine.
00:56:28But I hear you.
00:56:29Coming up tonight
00:56:30from the Quick Jet
00:56:31Printer Replacement
00:56:32Cartridge Stadium,
00:56:34Shirts and Skins
00:56:35perform their latest single.
00:56:36Later,
00:56:37mortal Kurt Myers
00:56:38will be sacrificed.
00:56:39Live.
00:56:40Shit.
00:56:41Kurt.
00:56:42What's up?
00:56:43We gotta go.
00:56:45Go where, brah?
00:56:46Orpheus,
00:56:46we gotta save Kurt.
00:56:47Huh?
00:56:48Come on.
00:56:48That's what you do.
00:56:49You rescue mortals from hell.
00:56:51Ugh.
00:56:51I ain't that guy anymore.
00:56:53That's a young man's game.
00:56:55What do you say?
00:56:56One last mission?
00:56:58Sorry.
00:56:59Well, then I gotta go on my own.
00:57:01Why?
00:57:02He's not your friend, man.
00:57:03I'm your friend.
00:57:04You just said it.
00:57:05You wanted to bro out
00:57:06and stare at each other
00:57:07on toilets.
00:57:08I'm sorry, brother.
00:57:09I guess I'm gonna go set five mirrors up
00:57:12in my bathroom
00:57:13and stare at myself
00:57:14as I make the forbidden mud.
00:57:20To the crossroads!
00:57:22Pretend you're going to Florida.
00:57:26Of course his boat has a hole in it.
00:57:28What a loser.
00:57:29Auggie!
00:57:35Hey, Auggie!
00:57:37Hey, Dame, what's going on?
00:57:38Auggie!
00:57:40Kurt's gonna be sacrificed.
00:57:41We have to save him.
00:57:42We're handling it.
00:57:43Thank you for your interest.
00:57:44Um,
00:57:45why don't you guys get in my boat?
00:57:50Look, man,
00:57:51I know I was a dick.
00:57:53Just get in.
00:57:56Fine.
00:57:57You want me to say it,
00:57:58I suppose you earned it.
00:58:00I...
00:58:01I love you, man.
00:58:03I never realized
00:58:04how great my friends are
00:58:05until I had that
00:58:05stupid thought that I didn't.
00:58:08Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
00:58:09middle part, you know,
00:58:10I haven't made it easy on you,
00:58:11took it for granted,
00:58:12big clothes.
00:58:13I'll never make this mistake again.
00:58:16Mm-mm.
00:58:18I really need you, dude.
00:58:19I can't do this on my own.
00:58:21You...
00:58:22You need me?
00:58:24Yep.
00:58:28To the crossroads.
00:58:43You're on in one minute.
00:58:45Damn,
00:58:45I hate public speaking.
00:58:47Anyone got a Xanax?
00:58:48Hey,
00:58:49hell is ours.
00:58:50We own this place,
00:58:51am I right?
00:58:51Right,
00:58:52right,
00:58:53I'm the devil.
00:58:54Get out there on that stage
00:58:56and start strutting that shit.
00:58:57Yeah!
00:58:58Hail Satan!
00:58:59I give you
00:59:00the devil!
00:59:02Oh,
00:59:02and, uh,
00:59:03Kurt,
00:59:03we couldn't find any other morals,
00:59:05so we have to sacrifice you.
00:59:07Sorry.
00:59:07Whoa,
00:59:07that's bullshit!
00:59:08Hold on,
00:59:09wait, wait, wait.
00:59:09Huh,
00:59:10hurts me more than...
00:59:11Okay,
00:59:12thanks,
00:59:12bye.
00:59:13I'm fucked!
00:59:14I'm fucked up.
00:59:17Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof!
00:59:19USA!
00:59:20USA!
00:59:21USA!
00:59:22USA!
00:59:23USA!
00:59:25USA!
00:59:25Devil,
00:59:25not devil!
00:59:26USA!
00:59:27Put it over to him!
00:59:27USA!
00:59:28Oh,
00:59:28come on!
00:59:29Devil,
00:59:30USA!
00:59:32Ugh,
00:59:33we are about to meet our sacrifice!
00:59:36He's not just your average oathbreaker,
00:59:38he's a friendship forsaker!
00:59:40Ow!
00:59:41Oh,
00:59:41you can't do this to me!
00:59:43Why not?
00:59:45Because we made a deal!
00:59:47Remember?
00:59:48Let me read it.
00:59:51Uh-huh.
00:59:51Boiler plate.
00:59:52Latin.
00:59:54Legalese.
00:59:54Read it out loud!
00:59:55I will not sacrifice Kurt
00:59:57if he helps me put on a real special show
00:59:59to impress Barb the Angel.
01:00:01Aha!
01:00:02Oh,
01:00:03bullshit!
01:00:03What the hell?
01:00:04You're right.
01:00:05It's all right here.
01:00:06Oh!
01:00:07That is beautiful!
01:00:08Kurt!
01:00:10Yeah?
01:00:10When is a contract not a contract?
01:00:13When it's eaten!
01:00:17Aw,
01:00:18Devil,
01:00:18you are a piece of shit.
01:00:24Oh!
01:00:24Oh!
01:00:25Ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:00:26I guess your contract is now null and void.
01:00:29Oh!
01:00:30Oh!
01:00:30Oh!
01:00:31Oh!
01:00:31Oh!
01:00:31Oh!
01:00:31Oh!
01:00:31Oh!
01:00:31Oh!
01:00:32Oh!
01:00:32Oh!
01:00:33Oh!
01:00:33Oh!
01:00:34Oh!
01:00:34Oh!
01:00:35Oh!
01:00:35Oh!
01:00:36Oh!
01:00:36Oh!
01:00:37Oh!
01:00:37Oh!
01:00:38Oh!
01:00:38Oh!
01:00:39Oh!
01:00:39Oh!
01:00:40Oh!
01:00:40Oh!
01:00:41Oh!
01:00:41Oh!
01:00:42Demons, continue with the sacrifice.
01:00:44Oh!
01:00:44Stomach, let me introduce you to the toilet.
01:00:47You two should get a load great.
01:00:49Oh!
01:00:50Oh!
01:00:50Oh!
01:00:51Oh!
01:00:51Oh!
01:00:52Oh!
01:00:52Oh!
01:00:53Oh!
01:00:53Oh!
01:00:53Oh!
01:00:54Oh!
01:00:54Oh!
01:00:55Oh!
01:00:55Oh!
01:00:56Oh!
01:00:56Oh!
01:00:57Oh!
01:00:57Oh!
01:00:58Oh!
01:00:58Oh!
01:00:59Oh!
01:00:59Oh!
01:01:00Oh!
01:01:00Oh!
01:01:01Oh!
01:01:01Oh!
01:01:02Oh!
01:01:03Oh!
01:01:04Oh!
01:01:05Oh!
01:01:06Oh!
01:01:07Oh!
01:01:08Oh!
01:01:09Oh!
01:01:10Oh!
01:01:11Those demons want blood.
01:01:13I know how this song ends.
01:01:15No!
01:01:16They're gonna kill him!
01:01:17How do we get past those guards?
01:01:19I got this one.
01:01:20There's nothing hornier than a demon in hell.
01:01:36Ooh!
01:01:37You'll be a woman to me, because I like what I see.
01:01:44Oh!
01:01:45Oh!
01:01:46You'll lay across in your knees.
01:01:47Oh!
01:01:48Oh!
01:01:48Oh!
01:01:49Oh!
01:01:49Oh!
01:01:50Oh!
01:01:50Oh!
01:01:51Oh!
01:01:51Oh!
01:01:52Oh!
01:01:52You make me feel like a man.
01:01:54Oh!
01:01:56Yo!
01:02:13Kurt!
01:02:14Hey!
01:02:15Help me!
01:02:16Kurt!
01:02:17Wait, what?
01:02:19Guys, how the fuck did you get down here?
01:02:21We came down to save you.
01:02:22Yo, what up?
01:02:24There's my sweet baby boy.
01:02:25Hey!
01:02:26Oh, mama missed you.
01:02:27Easy, Augie.
01:02:28Who's she?
01:02:29The devil's coming back!
01:02:31The devil's gonna sacrifice me!
01:02:32You gotta get me out of here!
01:02:33All right, let's go.
01:02:34Nobody mentioned anything about his diarrhea!
01:02:41What the fuck are you doing?
01:02:44Leg of fire!
01:02:47No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
01:02:51Hold on, Rimey, Rimey!
01:02:54Yeah, I'm back!
01:02:56Keep the fan on in there.
01:02:58Well, well, what do we have here?
01:03:01Um, can we get that bridge back?
01:03:05If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may have an enlarged prostate.
01:03:09Do you have difficulty urinating?
01:03:11Yes.
01:03:12Weak stream.
01:03:13Yes.
01:03:13Dribbling.
01:03:14Yes.
01:03:15Painful urination.
01:03:16Yes.
01:03:16Pussy ill or discharge?
01:03:18Oui.
01:03:19Si vous avez répondu à toutes ces questions,
01:03:21allez directement à l'hôpital.
01:03:23Non.
01:03:24Ok, en plus d'une mortale,
01:03:26nous allons aussi sacrifier la fille de Orpheus !
01:03:30Zing !
01:03:31Ma fille ?
01:03:32Tu veux que ça, Orpheus ?
01:03:34C'est bon !
01:03:35Oh, merde.
01:03:37Je dois sauver elle !
01:03:39Oh, merde.
01:03:41Oh, merde.
01:03:43Oh, merde.
01:03:45Où est-ce que mon téléphone ?
01:03:47Et un ordre d'une de sauvage.
01:03:48Et un ordre d'une de sauvage.
01:03:49Oh, mon Dieu !
01:03:50Oh !
01:03:51Oh !
01:03:52Oh !
01:03:53Oh !
01:03:54Oh !
01:03:55Oh !
01:03:56Oh !
01:03:57Oh !
01:03:58Oh !
01:03:59Oh !
01:04:00Oh !
01:04:01Oh !
01:04:02Oh !
01:04:03Oh !
01:04:04Oh !
01:04:05Oh !
01:04:06Oh !
01:04:07Oh !
01:04:08Oh !
01:04:09Oh !
01:04:10Oh !
01:04:12You know what ?
01:04:13I'll take a picture with my phone and send it to you.
01:04:14Ah, there.
01:04:16And.
01:04:17Sending.
01:04:19What ?
01:04:20It's a dick pic.
01:04:21Sorry.
01:04:22Wrong picture.
01:04:23Sending.
01:04:24Oh, my devil.
01:04:26It is the mortals.
01:04:28I said I would find them for you, and I did.
01:04:30I'll be right there.
01:04:32Get ready for some sweet devil-loving.
01:04:33Hello ?
01:04:36Shirts and skins, you're next !
01:04:38Last rehearsal !
01:05:09Oh, God. Oh, shit. God, fuck me.
01:05:15I came by to inform you that the concert has been rescheduled.
01:05:18The good news is you're all still getting paid and laid.
01:05:21Cool.
01:05:22Yes. Oh, fellas, please leave your costumes.
01:05:26And there is an assortment of groupies waiting outside to suck your dicks.
01:05:30Fuck yeah, Doc!
01:05:31My dick's gonna be a straw.
01:05:33Word.
01:05:34Okay, demons and damned, before we sacrifice any mortals,
01:05:39I'd like to introduce to you my favorite boy band.
01:05:44Shirts and skins.
01:05:46With a Z.
01:05:47Woo-hoo!
01:05:48Oh, wow!
01:05:50That's the way to do it!
01:05:55What?
01:05:56That's just shirts.
01:05:57Where the fuck is skins?
01:05:59Look, I'm sorry.
01:06:00The rest of the band is stuck in traffic.
01:06:02So I'm gonna rock three times as hard!
01:06:06Yeah!
01:06:07Yeah!
01:06:07As a young boy I found solace
01:06:12In the forest wild and free
01:06:15Till that fateful day
01:06:17Youth was ripped away
01:06:19Neat the boughs of an old oak tree
01:06:22He wrapped his leaves around my fragile frame
01:06:25And thrust me to the grass
01:06:28How my face did blanch
01:06:30As his mighty branch did
01:06:32Penetrate my ass
01:06:35Now when a tree comes in the forest
01:06:39Tell me
01:06:40Do you think it makes a sound?
01:06:42No
01:06:43You'll only hear the wail
01:06:44Of a broken, tired lion
01:06:46But up on the ground
01:06:49My life in Aspo splintered
01:06:53And my sphincter torn and loose
01:06:57So I mourn for my lost innocence
01:07:00And for all that's pure and good
01:07:03And I mourn the day
01:07:05I learn the painful meaning of
01:07:07Morning wood
01:07:09Morning wood
01:07:13Morning wood
01:07:18Ha ha!
01:07:30What is this shit?
01:07:32Surprise, surprise!
01:07:34It is I!
01:07:38Orpheus!
01:07:39You thought I was someone else
01:07:40But I'm not someone else
01:07:41I'm Orpheus
01:07:42The guy that you didn't think I was
01:07:45But I am now
01:07:46Yeah, I get it
01:07:47It's called a disguise
01:07:48You put it on
01:07:49I thought you were someone else
01:07:50No more explaining
01:07:51I can't believe you made it
01:07:53Yeah, you said you were retiring
01:07:54From saving mortals
01:07:56I did
01:07:56But I never said anything
01:07:58About retiring from saving
01:08:00Half mortals
01:08:01Really?
01:08:02You came back here for me?
01:08:04Yes
01:08:05Look, I know I wasn't the best father
01:08:07And I wasn't around for you
01:08:09And I really regret that
01:08:11Oh, dad, that's so sweet of you to say
01:08:14Mmm, yes
01:08:15Mmm, ah, sweet lips
01:08:18Oh, oh, this isn't that
01:08:19Oh, I may have slightly misread that situation
01:08:23Yeah
01:08:24Uh, we haven't actually done a DNA test
01:08:26So there's still a possibility
01:08:28That this isn't totally disgusting
01:08:30No
01:08:31No matter
01:08:32I love you, daughter
01:08:33Okay
01:08:34Let's get out of hell
01:08:36Everybody on
01:08:41What?
01:08:42Oh
01:08:43Give me that
01:08:47Oh
01:08:47I win
01:08:59It's time for
01:09:01Bam, the sacrifice
01:09:02Brucify him
01:09:05Bob, the one that got away
01:09:19Oh, yeah
01:09:24Slutty angel
01:09:26She's on the wrong side of 40
01:09:30Mama
01:09:33Wish I was that poor
01:09:39Look, here's your mortals
01:09:49What is that song about getting raped by trees
01:09:53It was so beautiful and personal
01:09:56You're such a sensitive artist
01:09:59Barb, I'm a sensitive artist, too
01:10:01What the hell?
01:10:05Look at the painting I did of you
01:10:07It's a blacklight painting
01:10:09Of me on a dune buggy
01:10:12Oh pat
01:10:16Geez Louise
01:10:27Morpheus isn't going down easy
01:10:29Here she is
01:10:31We need more ammunition
01:10:33You're not gonna kill him, are ya?
01:10:35Start folding T-shirts
01:10:37Tu es scurrying, girl!
01:10:39Ha, ha, ha!
01:10:40Oh-ho!
01:10:41C'est bon, j'ai passé beaucoup de mille pour trouver toi.
01:10:46T'as?
01:10:47Oui, j'ai essayé de combattre mes feelings,
01:10:49mais le tête ne peut pas dire le cœur où aller.
01:10:52C'est quoi que tu dis?
01:10:53Tu, moi et ma p'tite, se sont encrochées et se fous dans le soleil.
01:10:57Oh.
01:10:58Ce qui est en train de me faire,
01:10:59est-ce que tu veux passer le reste de notre vie ensemble?
01:11:04They all said that our love stood not a chance,
01:11:10that our hearts could never keep it in their pens.
01:11:15But when my penis saw your sweet vagina standing cross the room...
01:11:21What is this, Jersey Boys?
01:11:23My scrotum did a backflip and my lonely balls did swoon.
01:11:29I hate musicals.
01:11:30Mamma Mia wasn't bad.
01:11:32Now it's clear that this love was meant to be...
01:11:38My vagina.
01:11:40My penis.
01:11:41You and me.
01:11:42Stop singing!
01:11:45Oh, shit!
01:11:46Oh, no!
01:11:47Hey!
01:11:47The demons want blood!
01:11:49We gotta get out of here, now!
01:11:50Hurry up!
01:11:50Grab a fistful of white!
01:11:52Hold on!
01:11:53Load me up!
01:11:56Wait for me!
01:11:58Audrey!
01:11:59Bart, you gotta go back!
01:12:00Grab on, tubby.
01:12:01You don't have to call me that.
01:12:02Reach with your sausage fingers!
01:12:04Come on, honey.
01:12:05Pretend we're made out of cookie dough!
01:12:07I got it!
01:12:08Go!
01:12:10Die, Orpheus.
01:12:14Look out!
01:12:15Oh, shit!
01:12:19Barb!
01:12:20Fucking t-shirt!
01:12:22No!
01:12:24We're gaining speed!
01:12:27We gotta wake her up!
01:12:29She's out cold!
01:12:30Barb!
01:12:31Wake up!
01:12:32Do something, Remy!
01:12:33Slap her harder.
01:12:34Try the back of your hand.
01:12:36Oh, fuck me.
01:12:47Oh, fuck me.
01:13:00What's that sound?
01:13:01It's a sex offender alert.
01:13:04Cool app!
01:13:06Shh!
01:13:07Quiet!
01:13:18Run!
01:13:20Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
01:13:24Holy shit!
01:13:25These trees are alive, man!
01:13:26Bob!
01:13:26Careful down here.
01:13:27There are trees who think no means yes.
01:13:30Just don't stop running!
01:13:31Wait!
01:13:32Where's Barb?
01:13:37Help!
01:13:39Help!
01:13:40I have to go back for Bob!
01:13:42Dad, no!
01:13:43We'll catch up to you!
01:13:46There!
01:13:47Head for the cave!
01:13:49I'm coming, Bob!
01:13:50Hold on!
01:13:51Were you trying to hit her, boss?
01:13:53I mean, you shot her right between the eyes.
01:13:57She's probably fine.
01:13:59She's an angel.
01:14:01It was a good shot.
01:14:03If you meant to hit her...
01:14:04Knock it off!
01:14:05Focus!
01:14:07Oof!
01:14:08What's that smell?
01:14:11True heroes.
01:14:13To have laid such a costly sacrifice
01:14:15upon the altar of freedom.
01:14:18Yeah.
01:14:19But that's what you got for chasing pussy.
01:14:22Ow!
01:14:23Stitching up your wing.
01:14:24This is the stitching up your wing song.
01:14:26Barb!
01:14:27Look out!
01:14:28Don't you touch her!
01:14:29What?
01:14:30No!
01:14:30I'm helping her.
01:14:31Oh, really?
01:14:34Orpheus?
01:14:36Tree.
01:14:37You look familiar.
01:14:47Orpheus.
01:14:49Orpheus.
01:14:51Yeah, it's me, you diddler.
01:14:53I always hoped I'd run into you someday.
01:14:55I bet you did.
01:14:56No, no.
01:14:57It's not like that.
01:14:59I wanted to apologize for what I did to you.
01:15:02I'm sorry.
01:15:03He's just not going to cut it.
01:15:04Did you ever get my gift basket?
01:15:06No.
01:15:07You're kidding.
01:15:08I tracked the package.
01:15:09Mm-hmm.
01:15:10I understand your anger, but I've done a lot of work in therapy to get better.
01:15:13Heh.
01:15:14Is there anything I can do to make it right?
01:15:17When I find Orpheus, I'm gonna mount his balls on a stick.
01:15:21There is one thing.
01:15:23Ah.
01:15:28Hey, Tree!
01:15:30Have you seen an angel?
01:15:32I did.
01:15:34Yes.
01:15:35Well, where is she?
01:15:36Um, she went that way.
01:15:40Oh, okay.
01:15:42Well, good to see ya.
01:15:45Keep growing.
01:15:46Yeah, keep growing, Tree!
01:15:48What do you want me to do to him?
01:15:50Shed your acorns across his back.
01:15:53My psychologist is going to kill me, but I'll do it.
01:15:59Let us escape to a secret place where I can motorboat those wings.
01:16:04You're so dirty.
01:16:09Hey, does anybody want to stop for some Red Bull and Crystal Meth smoothies?
01:16:13No!
01:16:14No!
01:16:15No!
01:16:16No!
01:16:17Oh, shit!
01:16:18Hold on!
01:16:19Like you didn't do last time!
01:16:21Quit screaming.
01:16:22Hold on.
01:16:23Grab on!
01:16:24Pull!
01:16:25No!
01:16:26Oh!
01:16:27Oh!
01:16:28Ah!
01:16:29Ah!
01:16:30Ah!
01:16:31Ah!
01:16:32Ah!
01:16:33Ah!
01:16:34Ah!
01:16:37Look, boss!
01:16:38Over there!
01:16:39Huh?
01:16:40There's movement.
01:16:41Let's go!
01:16:42Yeah.
01:16:43What are you...
01:16:44What are you gonna do to me?
01:16:45What do they want from me?
01:16:47No!
01:16:48No!
01:16:49No!
01:16:50Little pig in the blanket.
01:16:53Uh, that tree is putting on lipstick.
01:16:55Ah!
01:16:56Kurt!
01:16:57Dima!
01:16:58Remy!
01:17:00Are you fucking serious?
01:17:02I hope that's for marshmallows.
01:17:04No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
01:17:06Hold on!
01:17:07Ah!
01:17:08Ah!
01:17:09Ah!
01:17:10Ah!
01:17:11Ah!
01:17:12Ah!
01:17:13Yes!
01:17:14Ah!
01:17:15Oh!
01:17:16Bullseye!
01:17:17Ah!
01:17:18Oh!
01:17:19What the fuck?
01:17:21Ah!
01:17:22This is my house.
01:17:23You're gonna screw with me?
01:17:25You had a mint the whole time?
01:17:40What?
01:17:41A mint!
01:17:42I didn't know it was there!
01:17:43It must have been stuck in the lining of my shirt, I swear!
01:17:46Who gives a shit about a stupid mint?
01:17:49A mint?
01:17:50Huh?
01:17:51Don't let him eat that mint!
01:17:53Oh!
01:17:54Shit!
01:17:55That's it, Remy!
01:17:56Eat that mint!
01:17:57It's too late!
01:17:58I don't want your mint now!
01:17:59No, no!
01:18:00It's not about that!
01:18:01It'll reverse the curse!
01:18:02It'll get us out!
01:18:03Quick, man!
01:18:04Hurry up!
01:18:05Get me that mint!
01:18:07Come on!
01:18:08Come on!
01:18:10Put the whole thing in your mouth!
01:18:12Can't reach!
01:18:14Eat it!
01:18:15Get your lips around that mint!
01:18:17I've tried my whole life!
01:18:18Gulp it down!
01:18:19Take all of it down your throat!
01:18:21Make this sound when you do it!
01:18:23It helps!
01:18:24Take all your balls!
01:18:28Demon!
01:18:29Quick!
01:18:30Remy, eat it!
01:18:31Eat it!
01:18:32Hurry up!
01:18:39Remy!
01:18:40Yeah!
01:18:41You did it, man!
01:18:42Yeah!
01:18:43I can touch my dick with my tongue!
01:18:46Hey, Remy!
01:18:47Look!
01:18:48Huh?
01:18:49Holy shit!
01:18:50What?
01:18:51Ah!
01:18:52That portal's kinda scaring me, boss!
01:18:54Yeah, I'm thinking I'll just go back up top!
01:18:57I'm gonna call it a day!
01:18:58No!
01:18:59No!
01:19:01Whoa!
01:19:02Okay!
01:19:03Hold on!
01:19:04Take my hand!
01:19:05Don't let go!
01:19:06No!
01:19:07No!
01:19:08No!
01:19:09Wait!
01:19:10Tell me where Barb is!
01:19:11No!
01:19:12No!
01:19:13No!
01:19:14No!
01:19:15No!
01:19:16Later, Devil!
01:19:17Wait!
01:19:18Wait!
01:19:19Wait!
01:19:20No!
01:19:21No!
01:19:22Gah!
01:19:23Hello, Devil!
01:19:24Huh?
01:19:25Care for some wine?
01:19:26No!
01:19:27No!
01:19:28No!
01:19:29No!
01:19:30No!
01:19:31No!
01:19:32No!
01:19:33No!
01:19:34No!
01:19:36No!
01:19:37No thanks.
01:19:38I'm okay!
01:19:39It's an earthly Bordeaux,
01:19:40and it pairs wonderfully with I'm going to rape you.
01:19:49Look!
01:19:50Over there!
01:19:51It appears the better man has won!
01:19:54Don't worry, you'll still get a chance to be with her!
01:19:56à la fin de la fin de la fin de la fin.
01:19:57J'en vais ?
01:19:58Je vais aller à Walgreens et acheter une défilé de la défilé
01:20:01et arranger la défilé en train de la fin.
01:20:03Oh, non ! Oh, non !
01:20:05C'est trop, défilé !
01:20:07Je suis un paquet de défilé avec un défilé dans le milieu.
01:20:18Hail Satan.
01:20:22Hail Satan.
01:20:24Hail Satan.
01:20:26Aaaaaah !
01:20:30Aaaaaah !
01:20:31Aaaaaah !
01:20:32Holy shit !
01:20:34We're back !
01:20:35I love this place !
01:20:37Oh my God !
01:20:39We did it !
01:20:41God, I miss the smell of cotton candy !
01:20:43Augie, you have a syringe stuck to your face.
01:20:46This place hasn't changed a bit !
01:20:49Definitely an opiate.
01:20:51What ?
01:20:52What ?
01:20:55Where have you guys been ?
01:20:56Clems !
01:20:58Man, I'm happy to see you !
01:20:59What's going on here ?
01:21:00Whose treasure is this ?
01:21:02This book is amazing !
01:21:03The Devil is the new Jesus !
01:21:06Who knew ?
01:21:07Devil Tears sell better than Dipping Dots !
01:21:10Remy !
01:21:11Remy !
01:21:12Your ideal work !
01:21:13Yes !
01:21:14Oh my God !
01:21:15Yes !
01:21:16We did it !
01:21:17Woohoo !
01:21:18What are we gonna do with all this money ?
01:21:20You can do it !
01:21:22That's why you made it !
01:21:23That's why you did it !
01:21:26You didn't like it !
01:21:27Let's go !
01:21:28Let's go !
01:21:29Let's go !
01:21:32One foot in front of the other !
01:21:35I don't really wanna be !
01:21:36Oblivious !
01:21:39Oblivious !
01:21:43C'est parti !
01:22:13C'est parti !
01:22:43C'est parti !
01:23:13C'est parti !
01:23:15C'est parti !
01:23:17C'est parti !
01:23:19C'est parti !
01:23:21C'est parti !
01:23:23C'est parti !
01:23:25C'est parti !
01:23:27C'est parti !
01:23:29C'est parti !
01:23:31C'est parti !
01:23:33C'est parti !
01:23:35C'est parti !
01:23:37C'est parti !
01:23:39C'est parti !
01:23:41C'est parti !
01:23:43C'est parti !
01:23:45C'est parti !
01:23:47C'est parti !
01:23:49C'est parti !
01:23:51C'est parti !
01:23:53C'est parti !
01:23:55C'est parti !
01:23:57C'est parti !
01:23:59C'est parti !
01:24:01C'est parti !
01:24:03C'est parti !
01:24:05C'est parti !
01:24:07C'est parti !
01:24:09C'est parti !
01:24:11C'est parti !
01:24:13C'est parti !
01:24:15C'est parti !
01:24:17C'est parti !
01:24:47C'est parti !
01:25:17C'est parti !
01:25:47C'est parti !