- 08/06/2025
#gay #Gay #Gay #BOYS LOVE #boys love #full gay movie #gay movie #lgbt #Lgbt #LGBT #lgbtq #Lgbtq #LGBTQ #🌈
#gay romance
#gay romance
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00CastingWords
00:01:29CastingWords
00:01:59CastingWords
00:02:29CastingWords
00:02:59Zach.
00:03:01Hello?
00:03:03Are you listening?
00:03:05I was just thinking about this gay resort we're going to.
00:03:09You make it sound like a bad thing.
00:03:11We want a free vacation.
00:03:13And it's gay.
00:03:15What more could you want?
00:03:21Is it the open thing?
00:03:23We talked about this.
00:03:25I know.
00:03:27It's just for the weekend.
00:03:29But I'm nervous.
00:03:31I mean, I was always the last one picked in gym class.
00:03:34I don't want to lose you, but it's something that's in my gut.
00:03:38I'm just not ready to limit myself sexually.
00:03:41So if we can't do this, we should just be honest.
00:03:46Break up.
00:03:48I don't want to break up.
00:03:50I don't either.
00:03:52And I do like sex.
00:03:56Picture the entire Manhunt website stuffed into one hotel.
00:04:03We could have so much fun.
00:04:05Together.
00:04:07It's just that sleeping with other guys is not how I imagine my relationship.
00:04:11Come on.
00:04:12It's one open weekend.
00:04:14At least try it.
00:04:16Okay.
00:04:17One open weekend.
00:04:18Yay!
00:04:19I lured you.
00:04:20I lured you too.
00:04:21You guys need to talk?
00:04:22We can dance all night.
00:04:23We can dance all night.
00:04:25Tonight is the night.
00:04:26I'm gonna make you mine.
00:04:27There's a feeling in the air.
00:04:28I can't deny.
00:04:29Tonight we're gonna dance.
00:04:30I'll be your partner.
00:04:31We'll cry.
00:04:32On another level.
00:04:33I'll show you why.
00:04:34When that's all night.
00:04:35We can dance.
00:04:36We can dance.
00:04:37We can dance.
00:04:38We can dance all night.
00:04:39We can dance.
00:04:40We can dance all night.
00:04:41Tonight is the night.
00:04:42I'm gonna make you mine.
00:04:43There's a feeling in the air.
00:04:44I can't deny.
00:04:45Tonight is the night.
00:04:46I'm gonna make you mine.
00:04:47There's a feeling in the air.
00:04:49I can't deny.
00:04:51Tonight we're gonna dance.
00:04:53I'll be your partner.
00:04:54We'll cry.
00:04:55On another level.
00:04:57I'll show you why.
00:04:59When I touch you.
00:05:01My hands catch fire.
00:05:03I can't stop dancing.
00:05:05Take me higher.
00:05:07Feels so good.
00:05:09I think I'm flying.
00:05:11Put your hands up.
00:05:13Let's go higher.
00:05:15Take my hand and hold on tight.
00:05:19Cause when I'm with you.
00:05:21It feels so right.
00:05:23Don't let go.
00:05:25Let's dance all night.
00:05:27We can dance.
00:05:28We can dance.
00:05:29We can dance all night.
00:05:31Take my hand and hold on tight.
00:05:35Cause when I'm with you.
00:05:37It feels so right.
00:05:39Don't let go.
00:05:41We can dance.
00:05:42We can dance.
00:05:43We can dance.
00:05:44We can dance.
00:05:45We can dance all night.
00:05:47Take my hand and hold on tight.
00:05:51Cause when I'm with you.
00:05:53It feels so right.
00:05:55Don't let go.
00:05:57Don't let go.
00:05:58All night.
00:05:59We can dance.
00:06:00We can dance.
00:06:01We can dance all night.
00:06:03Bye.
00:06:09Just my luck to win a free vacation to a resort that's totally gay-ified.
00:06:13I know.
00:06:14Remember when I asked what could possibly be gayer than drama camp?
00:06:18Screw you two.
00:06:19Excuse me?
00:06:20Look around.
00:06:21You're in paradise surrounded by beautiful men and it's free.
00:06:24Now drop your uppity Katy Perry attitudes or the computer might accidentally eat your reservations.
00:06:31You're right.
00:06:32I'll just tie a flashlight to my head, act like Lady Gaga and the men will flock to me.
00:06:38Now that's the spirit.
00:06:39And here they are.
00:06:41Look at that reason.
00:06:43Oh, come on, Casey.
00:06:45If I wasn't me, I'd totally be laughing right now.
00:06:48What's wrong with you?
00:06:49My ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend just texted.
00:06:53They're here staying in room three.
00:06:56Your keys?
00:06:58Room four.
00:07:01Hey, I'm supposed to get in my own room.
00:07:04And I'm supposed to be nice to customers.
00:07:06Next!
00:07:07What?
00:07:08If you're gonna cry like baby Jesus, I can put you out back in the manger.
00:07:12Oh my god, we share a bed.
00:07:14Welcome to the Triangle Inn.
00:07:21You have really nice energy.
00:07:29Well, at least Zach will be with his boyfriend so you don't have to watch him whore it up with a...
00:07:35Never ending parade of man whores with muscles and huge sex of falling.
00:07:40I'm ready to leave.
00:07:41Now.
00:07:42No, Casey, you can't...
00:07:44This is too much for me.
00:07:45I need to call some more experienced fag hags.
00:07:53Hello?
00:07:55This better be good.
00:07:56Casey's wussing out cause Zach's here.
00:07:58And there's a lot of hot guys too.
00:08:00Wait, do I even know you?
00:08:01Honey, just pretend he doesn't exist.
00:08:04Gay guys do that all the time with their exes.
00:08:07It's the mature thing to do.
00:08:09I can't ignore him.
00:08:10He wants us to work on our friendship this weekend.
00:08:13He wants us to normalize.
00:08:15It's like when you put a new fish in the tank, you gotta keep it in the bag for a while so the others don't eat its eyes.
00:08:20Girl voice hush.
00:08:21Casey, just be his friend and have an obnoxious amount of fun.
00:08:27Hey, show that ass goblin what he's missing.
00:08:30You can't be friends after a breakup.
00:08:32But I thought you told him you wanted to be friends.
00:08:35Everyone says that.
00:08:37It's just so you can go around telling people you're still friends.
00:08:40Wait, whose side did I take in this breakup?
00:08:42Do I even like you?
00:08:43You took my side.
00:08:45You knew me first.
00:08:46Oh, is that how it works?
00:08:48Look, honey.
00:08:49This weekend is not about Zach.
00:08:51Just concentrate on having really good fun.
00:08:54And Helen, are you having sex in my bed?
00:08:56I wouldn't call it sex.
00:08:59The best thing to do is find someone hotter than Zach and f*** them.
00:09:02And what are you doing?
00:09:05It's a long story.
00:09:06I'll explain it in the sequel.
00:09:08Gotta go.
00:09:09Goodbye.
00:09:13So, I guess my goal this weekend is to stay distracted.
00:09:20My goal is to watch two men have sex.
00:09:23You've seen that.
00:09:24It doesn't count when it's on stage.
00:09:26Here, it's like I'm on a safari watching lions and gazelles tear each other up in a frenzy of flesh and spermacidal lubricant.
00:09:35Wouldn't you actually rather just have sex?
00:09:38With a gay man?
00:09:40And wind up with a vagina full of vomit?
00:09:43Bender.
00:09:47Oh, my God.
00:09:48My straight dart just went off.
00:09:50Maybe I could lose my virginity on this trip.
00:09:54Tell me what happened.
00:09:56But I get to stop it if I get bored.
00:09:58He doesn't want to limit himself sexually.
00:10:00Mmm.
00:10:01How Catholic.
00:10:03Miami Beach.
00:10:04Or...
00:10:06Black Giraffe.
00:10:07Which says, look at me without saying desperate for attention.
00:10:12I'll order cocktails.
00:10:13I figure we need them.
00:10:18What about?
00:10:20How are you?
00:10:22Heterosexual.
00:10:23How about you?
00:10:25I'm straight, yes.
00:10:26I wasn't expecting any of that here.
00:10:29Well, I'm full of surprises.
00:10:31Are you flirting with me?
00:10:32Should I stop?
00:10:33Only if it doesn't work.
00:10:35Willy, come on.
00:10:37Sorry.
00:10:38I have to go feed more gay gay.
00:10:45It's like cock roulette out here.
00:10:47You should have no problem finding a rebound.
00:10:50I don't do rebounds.
00:10:52Rebounds are my specialty.
00:10:54Peter?
00:10:55Casey?
00:10:57I thought that was you.
00:10:58Well, what are you doing here?
00:10:59I didn't know you were gay.
00:11:01Well, what are you doing here?
00:11:02I didn't know you were a slut.
00:11:03Oh, God.
00:11:04This is crazy.
00:11:05Um, in high school, he was...
00:11:07The homophobic jock?
00:11:09I've seen Glee.
00:11:10Oh, God.
00:11:11I wish I was fat.
00:11:13No.
00:11:14And shy.
00:11:15When did you get so, um, so hot?
00:11:17In college.
00:11:19I turned gay.
00:11:20I got rid of my braces and got these.
00:11:22Wow.
00:11:24Is that, like, um, a 50-pack?
00:11:27Feel them.
00:11:28It's like the situation, just without the scabies.
00:11:30Oh, cool.
00:11:32Is it me or, uh, something smell really cum-y?
00:11:36Um, so, Peter, are you single?
00:11:38What's the point of coming to a place like this if you're not single?
00:11:42Casey's single, too.
00:11:43Oh, my God.
00:11:44You and I are gonna get into so much trouble.
00:11:49Anyway, I gotta go meet with a buddy to play some strip tennis.
00:11:52But tonight, sarong party, I will find you.
00:11:56I will make sure I'm findable.
00:11:58So amazing seeing you, Casey.
00:12:00I used to have the biggest crush on this one.
00:12:02He totally wants you inside him.
00:12:03Oh, he wants the Million Man March inside of him.
00:12:04Aw, poor thing.
00:12:05Let's go get you to our room and download some It Gets Better videos.
00:12:21So, Tommy, what are the rules to this open relationship?
00:12:25Well, we're just trying it for the weekend.
00:12:27Other than that, we don't really have any rules.
00:12:28You need to have some rules or someone's gonna get hurt.
00:12:31Like, do you kiss and tell three ways only?
00:12:34Is he allowed to get punched by hairy strangers right here in your bed?
00:12:39You know the worst part?
00:12:40STDs.
00:12:42I have to compete with my own boyfriend to meet guys,
00:12:44and he'll win every time because he's the hot one.
00:12:48Now I know how Casey felt when he was dating me.
00:12:53Well, I got good news.
00:12:55What?
00:12:57I finally got the date on my surgery.
00:13:01The big one.
00:13:03The lower one.
00:13:05Make a face like that again.
00:13:06Sorry.
00:13:08Congratulations.
00:13:09That's huge.
00:13:11Way more important than my drama.
00:13:15So, do you really think it's gonna change everything?
00:13:18In my mind, I know it's just a simple procedure,
00:13:22and a lot of people won't even know the difference, but...
00:13:26I feel like when I wake up from this...
00:13:30I'll finally be me.
00:13:32Well then, let's celebrate.
00:13:35Yes.
00:13:36This weekend will be a cock and ball funeral.
00:13:39Let's find that street boy and get more drinks.
00:13:41Ooh, no baby.
00:13:42There are so many hot guys here.
00:13:55Okay, we need to lay down some rules.
00:13:58Rules?
00:13:59Yeah, like no hooking up in our bed.
00:14:02Technically, it's not our bed.
00:14:05Benji.
00:14:06Okay, I just don't get why you need rules.
00:14:09It's our right as gay men to make any kind of relationship we want.
00:14:13They're not gonna let us get married.
00:14:14Why should we follow their rules?
00:14:17Non-monogamy is the ultimate political statement.
00:14:20Uh, I don't see how two dicks in your mouth is a political statement.
00:14:23We owe it to future generations.
00:14:31Case is here.
00:14:34Operation Awkward.
00:14:38Okay.
00:14:41Rule number two.
00:14:44No ex-boyfriends.
00:14:46I'll see you later.
00:14:50I'm not pathetic.
00:14:52I'm having the best time of my life.
00:14:54And I am a total seven.
00:15:00Hey, Zach.
00:15:02Oh, wow, I love your chest hair.
00:15:07God, I've missed you.
00:15:09How are you doing?
00:15:10Um, me?
00:15:11I'm...
00:15:14I'm great, actually.
00:15:16How could I not be with all these studs around, you know?
00:15:20Yeah, lots of studs.
00:15:22Ugh, just throwing themselves at me.
00:15:24How could I resist?
00:15:26You met someone already?
00:15:28Well, I guess I'm kind of a dick magnet.
00:15:32Never thought of you as a hookup guy.
00:15:33This wasn't just a hookup guy.
00:15:34Oh, this wasn't just a hookup.
00:15:36I mean, we really just hit it off.
00:15:40Oh.
00:15:42Where's your Casanova now?
00:15:44He's, um, sleeping.
00:15:48I guess I wore him out.
00:15:50Wow.
00:15:52That's great.
00:15:53We should do a double date while we're here.
00:15:56Yeah.
00:15:57Oh, definitely.
00:15:59Uh, so, how are you and Benji?
00:16:02Having a good time?
00:16:05The best.
00:16:07Great.
00:16:09So, tomorrow, brunch?
00:16:11Huh?
00:16:12Double date with your new boo?
00:16:13Um, yeah.
00:16:15Sure.
00:16:17Sure.
00:16:18Awesome.
00:16:20See? We can do this.
00:16:22Be friends.
00:16:24Friendship rocks.
00:16:36This is the perfect place to find your new puppet.
00:16:39My what?
00:16:40Some big dumb jock who pretend to be in love with you for a free brunch and some rebound Mooma.
00:16:47Mooma?
00:16:48Mutual masturbation?
00:16:50Even I knew that.
00:16:52What about...
00:16:54Hems?
00:16:56Oh, he's cute.
00:16:58I definitely knew my hand.
00:17:01He's not wearing any underwear.
00:17:03None of them are.
00:17:05So, I can just run around accidentally funneling a big shiny ding-dong?
00:17:09I think they'd be insulted if you didn't.
00:17:14You...
00:17:16Are the hottest guy here.
00:17:20Okay.
00:17:21Okay.
00:17:25You are the hottest guy here.
00:17:29Is it bad that I want him to say that to me again?
00:17:32You can almost see the crabs leaping from one torso to the other.
00:17:37Cherry!
00:17:39In the very loose flesh.
00:17:41This is Bernard.
00:17:43My fiancée.
00:17:44Hello.
00:17:46I'm Penny.
00:17:47Fiancée.
00:17:48Wow.
00:17:49We're getting legally married this weekend.
00:17:51What?
00:17:52You haven't heard about the Liberace loophole?
00:17:55Who's Liberace?
00:17:57Think George Michael, only sluttier.
00:17:59Who's George Michael?
00:18:01Think Adam Lambert, but with plastic surgery and success.
00:18:04Oh, okay.
00:18:05Anyway, because of some legislative screw-up, there's a one-hour window in which it will be legally permissible for gays to marry.
00:18:13We're staying over at the Hacienda Resort and they're offering free weddings for any couple who wants to take advantage of the opening.
00:18:18I love to take advantage of openings.
00:18:21As you can see, he shares my inappropriate and pedestrian sense of humor.
00:18:26Well, I'll totally be your flower girl.
00:18:28Well, where's that strapping young boyfriend of yours?
00:18:31Um, it's... it's a long story.
00:18:34Oh, honey, what happened? I thought you were as steady as Barack and Michelle.
00:18:39Well, he's...
00:18:43Here, gotta go.
00:18:49You... the trolls of tomorrow.
00:18:58What are you doing to my dad?
00:19:00Nothing.
00:19:02Peter, here's the deal.
00:19:05Oh, God, those abs.
00:19:07Um, Casey did a really stupid thing and lied to his ex that he met someone here because he didn't want to look like the loser that he may very well be,
00:19:14so we need you to pretend to be Casey's boyfriend.
00:19:16No way. I'm here to get my sex on.
00:19:20Um, please, for old time's sake, we didn't hang out at all in high school.
00:19:24You've got a lot of catching up to do.
00:19:26Look, I'm all for hooking up with me, but I'm not in a place where I can date right now, pretend or otherwise.
00:19:33Wait, you're all for hooking up with me?
00:19:36Shit.
00:19:38Is this your new boyfriend?
00:19:40Um...
00:19:42Hi, I'm Peter. I'm Zach. This is my Benji. Your dish towel's slipping.
00:19:57Oh, here it is. Are we still on for tomorrow morning?
00:20:03I don't know. Um, are we free for brunch tomorrow, baby?
00:20:07As long as it starts after 3 p.m.
00:20:10Because we'll be up all night making love.
00:20:12Right, lover. Something like that.
00:20:15My sweet little asshole.
00:20:16Great. Well, we're gonna go dance.
00:20:26You are so buying me drinks the rest of the weekend.
00:20:30The fingers to the head to the toes. Like some kind of rose.
00:20:43Like something you'd notice.
00:20:47In a room full of confusion and illusion and delusion.
00:20:52Someone's saying something to you.
00:20:54But what can you do? You're just hoping and hoping
00:21:00But a rose is just a rose until she's underneath her nose
00:21:04And you see her in blue, and you smell her perfume
00:21:11Well the verse is she's just one but
00:21:16You're taking it in stride but you know
00:21:19The people you know are beginning to notice
00:21:25Your world's full of confusion and illusion and delusion
00:21:30And the girl you brought to party with you
00:21:33That's fun. Yeah. Busy steam room here.
00:21:38How about you?
00:21:40Yep.
00:21:42Staring at the flower in the center of the room
00:21:46Oh really?
00:21:48You met someone?
00:21:50Mmm.
00:21:52Oh congratulations Tramp
00:21:55Hey, maybe we can get a little threesome going
00:22:01I saw you come out of that room
00:22:03I can't believe you had a threesome before brunch
00:22:06Oh my god, a gay guy's acting slutty called TMZ
00:22:09Just be careful, alright? If Zach sees you as someone who isn't me, it's all over
00:22:13Come on, we're late for brunch
00:22:15I haven't showered
00:22:16Do I smell like sex?
00:22:17Everything here smells like sex
00:22:23We should get married
00:22:25What?
00:22:26They're doing those legal weddings for one hour tomorrow
00:22:29The more gay couples we marry, the bigger the impact on society
00:22:33We should get married to make a political statement
00:22:36Yesterday you wanted to have an orgy to make a political statement
00:22:40Now you want to get married
00:22:42What's wrong?
00:22:43You've been acting like Kristen Stewart all morning
00:22:45I'm fine
00:22:46No, I know that Zachy pout
00:22:49You want to know what's wrong?
00:22:51I'm upset because-
00:22:52Hey guys
00:22:53Here we are
00:22:55Molly, I was looking for you
00:23:02It's Penny
00:23:07Since we're the only two straight girls here, we should probably hang out
00:23:11Okay, but stop smiling, you're giving me a headache
00:23:14I told you to meet
00:23:16We go way back to high school
00:23:18I thought you said you met yesterday
00:23:20Well, we gay met yesterday
00:23:22Well, we gay met yesterday
00:23:24You never paid any attention to me in high school
00:23:27But this time...
00:23:28Sparks
00:23:30Sparks is what it's all about, right honey?
00:23:36Mmhmm
00:23:37Sparks
00:23:39Looks like they're having a really nice time
00:23:43Are you kidding?
00:23:45Okay, check out your pigmentally-challenged friend
00:23:48He has his hands all over that Ryan-Philippi-Quanton-Reynolds guy
00:23:53But his eyes are on Zach
00:23:56So, looks like you two can't get enough of each other
00:24:00Oh, I know
00:24:01I mean, look at us
00:24:02We're practically making love
00:24:04Nope
00:24:05We can't keep our hands off each other
00:24:08Oh my god, it's huge
00:24:11It surprises me every time
00:24:14Should you two be doing that in public?
00:24:18The sign doesn't say public resort
00:24:20Maybe we shouldn't
00:24:22Not without kissing anyway
00:24:24Excellent idea
00:24:35Nice
00:24:37I will never truly understand the gaze
00:24:58You don't even understand the Wheel of Fortune
00:25:00Good afternoon, beautiful ladies
00:25:02Hello
00:25:03I, um, we
00:25:05Hola Luis
00:25:07I met Luis earlier
00:25:09So did I
00:25:10Like, eye contact met
00:25:12Remember?
00:25:13Can I bring you something else to drink?
00:25:15Oh no, I'm telling you
00:25:16Oh
00:25:18Oh
00:25:19Allow me to clean you up
00:25:25Oh Jesus
00:25:26That's not how a gay man touches booze
00:25:29I knew you were straight
00:25:30You are correct
00:25:32Why would a straight man want to work here?
00:25:34There are many reasons to work here
00:25:36Many beautiful reasons
00:25:40I'm going to bring you another drink
00:25:42That is who I'm giving my virginity to
00:25:49Back off
00:25:50We flirted yesterday
00:25:51We've established something
00:25:53But he touched my breast
00:25:55Normally I wouldn't fight with another woman over a man
00:25:58But fuck it
00:25:59I'm bored
00:26:00It's on
00:26:01It's on
00:26:12Ew
00:26:16We should do brunch with them again
00:26:17Are you kidding?
00:26:18That was awful
00:26:20Huh?
00:26:22We spent the entire time pretending to be something we're not
00:26:25Happily monogamous
00:26:26Don't try to make me the bad guy here
00:26:28You agreed to be open this weekend
00:26:30You could have said no
00:26:36What possessed me to break up with Zach
00:26:38And then try to be friends with him?
00:26:40I mean
00:26:41You'd think I would have learned from every relationship
00:26:43Jennifer Aniston's ever had
00:26:46You broke up with him because you loved him
00:26:48And you want to be friends with him because you still love him
00:26:51Unfortunately, he loves Benji
00:26:53Don't remind me
00:26:55Did you see them all over each other today?
00:26:57Like horny little
00:26:59Monkeys
00:27:00There was a lot of horny at that table
00:27:03It doesn't count if you're faking it
00:27:05Which I was
00:27:06Except for the erection part
00:27:09Casey and Peter don't need an open relationship to be happy
00:27:15They've been together for like five minutes
00:27:18And I can tell Peter's already getting bored
00:27:20Is that how long it took you to get bored with me?
00:27:22Come on
00:27:25We're in the middle of nowhere with hot guys we'll never see again
00:27:30We can misbehave a little
00:27:32Then back to normal at home
00:27:34Yeah, but which is the normal you?
00:27:36This one or the one back home?
00:27:38Peter is boning everything in sight
00:27:41I'm gonna get busted
00:27:42You know what?
00:27:43I'll deserve it
00:27:44You know what always helps me when I get into this exact situation?
00:27:48An ego boost
00:27:49An ego boost
00:27:50Oh my god, you look amazing
00:27:56So do you
00:27:57Come on now, you made Zach fall in love with you once so it's not like you're Marmaduke and
00:28:03Look at this face
00:28:05Madonna would pay good money for cheekbones like those
00:28:07Especially in her face
00:28:08And your funny and smart
00:28:09And all the things
00:28:11Some wonderful sexy studs is gonna see in you as soon as you start seeing it yourself
00:28:14Well, thank you Mother
00:28:16No, you'll never ask that
00:28:17No, you'll never ask that
00:28:18So do you
00:28:20Come on now
00:28:21You made Zach fall in love with you once so it's not like you're Marmaduke and
00:28:22Look at this face
00:28:24Madonna would pay good money for cheekbones like those
00:28:25Especially in her face
00:28:26And you're funny
00:28:28And smart
00:28:29And all the things some wonderful sexy studs is gonna see in you
00:28:33As soon as you start seeing it yourself
00:28:35Well, thank you, Mother.
00:28:37Mama needs you to do something for her.
00:28:40What?
00:28:41Wait for me at the bar.
00:28:42You have to protect me from Lily while I move in on the guy she wants.
00:28:45Are you serious?
00:28:47It's your turn to be my hug.
00:29:01These are perfection.
00:29:03I shall call it the Lily.
00:29:06Oh, my.
00:29:09So, how many lonely fag hacks have you picked up here?
00:29:13Not as much as you might think.
00:29:15Don't give me that.
00:29:16Tons of women get dragged here by gay friends who dumped them for poppers and handjobs.
00:29:21Um, I'm right here.
00:29:23Yeah, but your brain isn't.
00:29:25It's in Benji's pants or Casey's ass or some shit like that.
00:29:28It's not like that.
00:29:30I just don't want Casey to find out about her open weekend thing.
00:29:33What would happen if Casey found out?
00:29:35You'd say something like, you're better than being in a relationship that isn't working for you.
00:29:39You make Casey sound pretty smart.
00:29:41But compromise is what being in a relationship is all about, right?
00:29:44I should give it a try before throwing the whole thing away.
00:29:47Well, here's your chance to test out your theory.
00:29:50How's it going?
00:29:51Okay.
00:29:52You're great at this.
00:29:53I'm Jayden.
00:29:54You having fun this weekend?
00:29:55Yeah, I'm liking the peace and quiet.
00:29:56Okay.
00:29:57Actually, that came out wrong.
00:29:58What I mean to say is I'm having a great weekend.
00:30:00Now.
00:30:01Oh yeah?
00:30:02Yeah.
00:30:03It's so hot.
00:30:04You tried the jacuzzi yet?
00:30:05Yeah.
00:30:06Yeah.
00:30:07It's so hot.
00:30:08You tried the jacuzzi yet?
00:30:09Yeah.
00:30:10Yeah.
00:30:11It's so hot.
00:30:12You tried the jacuzzi yet?
00:30:13Yeah.
00:30:14Yeah.
00:30:15Yeah.
00:30:16Yeah.
00:30:17Yeah.
00:30:18Yeah.
00:30:19But I could always go again.
00:30:20I want to wrap my legs around your face like a pair of Bono sunglasses.
00:30:37And then what?
00:30:40Shit.
00:30:41Okay.
00:30:42I gotta go.
00:30:47Uh, hey Peter, just saw your boyfriend heading into the bar.
00:31:02I don't mess with guys in relationships.
00:31:04It's too much drama.
00:31:06Okay.
00:31:07Wouldn't want to compromise your morals.
00:31:10See?
00:31:11Drama.
00:31:12Fuck.
00:31:17em, periods and dragging aside.
00:31:24What do you want to interrupt you?
00:31:26Oh shit.
00:31:27You, you're horrible.
00:31:29Move your body to fungi.
00:31:32Where you'd meet someone else?
00:31:34I know that it's impossible.
00:31:36You feel what you want to go?
00:31:37Maybe.
00:31:38You feel what you want to go?
00:31:43You feel what you want to go?
00:31:44Never you're one of those ones.
00:31:45Never you're one of those.
00:31:45He's cheating on Zack.
00:31:49Hey Zack Attack, I brought you a present.
00:31:51What is he doing here?
00:31:53Your boyfriend wanted to watch us do it.
00:31:58Consider him a peace offering.
00:32:00I don't know.
00:32:01Is he too fat?
00:32:02Am I what?
00:32:03No, he's perfect.
00:32:05But...
00:32:07Come on.
00:32:08My boyfriend's really into this.
00:32:11Plus I hate these delicious.
00:32:15Damn guys, it's hot.
00:32:16Oh yeah, so hot.
00:32:17Are you okay?
00:32:18You're kinda limp down there.
00:32:19Just pretend.
00:32:20Suck it.
00:32:21Suck it with that pretty mouth.
00:32:22Oh yeah.
00:32:23Fuck.
00:32:24Fuck.
00:32:25Fuck.
00:32:26Fuck.
00:32:27Fuck.
00:32:28Fuck.
00:32:29Fuck.
00:32:30Fuck.
00:32:31Fuck.
00:32:32Fuck.
00:32:33Fuck.
00:32:34Fuck.
00:32:35Fuck.
00:32:36Fuck.
00:32:37Fuck.
00:32:38Fuck.
00:32:39Fuck.
00:32:40Fuck.
00:32:41Fuck.
00:32:42Fuck.
00:32:43Fuck.
00:32:44Just one, yeah.
00:32:45Oh yeah.
00:32:46Yeah, do his face.
00:32:47Oh.
00:32:48Oh.
00:32:49Oh yeah.
00:32:51Oh god, I'm close.
00:32:52Oh my God, I'm close.
00:32:53Me too.
00:32:54Oh, so close.
00:32:55Oh.
00:32:56Fuck.
00:32:57Oh.
00:32:58Oh.
00:32:59I'm gonna come.
00:33:00Fuck.
00:33:01Oh.
00:33:02Oh.
00:33:03Oh yeah.
00:33:05Oh, oh.
00:33:07I'm gonna come.
00:33:09Oh, yeah.
00:33:10That was just all kinds of wrong.
00:33:24Now I'll try to find someone for you to watch me with.
00:33:38One Lily.
00:33:40One Lily.
00:33:50Shit.
00:33:55I cannot let him see you look like this.
00:34:02Penny, wait!
00:34:04Penny!
00:34:05Ah!
00:34:06Ah!
00:34:07Ah, my God.
00:34:08I'm sorry.
00:34:09Are you okay?
00:34:23I think so.
00:34:25Do you buy any chance to see me before I fill in?
00:34:29I'm afraid I did not know.
00:34:31Short.
00:34:32But I'm sure you look beautiful.
00:34:34I'm so sorry, Penny.
00:34:40I didn't mean to.
00:34:42I bet you didn't.
00:34:43These are yours?
00:34:44Room number four.
00:34:49Hormone pills.
00:34:52These are your pills?
00:34:58Yes, they're mine.
00:35:00So what?
00:35:00I get cramps.
00:35:04Hey, lover.
00:35:14Hi.
00:35:18You know how you cock-blocked me and you weren't even in the room?
00:35:23Sorry about that.
00:35:27Don't stay blocked for long, pesky thing.
00:35:29Hey, thanks for being my pretend boyfriend.
00:35:35I have to say, this is one of the most perverted things I've ever done.
00:35:42Did you really have a crush on me in high school?
00:35:46Absolutely.
00:35:48You were so adorable.
00:35:50You still are.
00:35:51So, uh, why don't you have a boyfriend?
00:35:58Well, maybe you haven't noticed, but kind of a slut.
00:36:02I've noticed.
00:36:04I'm just not the boyfriend type.
00:36:08I'm definitely the boyfriend type.
00:36:11That's part of what makes you so hot.
00:36:13And why I haven't tried to go to Naked Town with you.
00:36:16I respect you.
00:36:21It's really sweet, but, um...
00:36:26I'd love to be disrespecting right now.
00:36:31Something's passing through me
00:36:54Like electricity
00:36:58Constantly we are seeking
00:37:03Agony
00:37:04Next to tear
00:37:07Covert mission
00:37:09Praying wishing
00:37:13Around New Iowa
00:37:18I'm so sorry, Betty.
00:37:31What were you thinking?
00:37:35Honestly,
00:37:36I didn't mean to not get into the pool.
00:37:40I just didn't want Luis to see you looking that good.
00:37:44So you did do it on purpose?
00:37:46Yes.
00:37:46No, I just said I didn't.
00:37:49You just said you didn't want him to see me looking that gorgeous.
00:37:51I didn't say gorgeous.
00:37:52I can't believe I covered for you stupid hormone pills.
00:37:55That was really sweet of you.
00:37:57Um...
00:37:58Mind if I have them back now?
00:38:00Like I told Luis.
00:38:03They're mine.
00:38:11You know he named that drink after me.
00:38:13It's called the penny.
00:38:16I should tell Zach what I saw, but he will totally hate me.
00:38:26I'd want to know if my boyfriend was cheating on me.
00:38:28Maybe they have an open relationship.
00:38:30Really?
00:38:31Zach?
00:38:32I know.
00:38:33So?
00:38:34You and Peter are a thing now?
00:38:36No.
00:38:37It was just, like, friend sex.
00:38:40Really amazing friend sex.
00:38:45We're friends.
00:38:46Ew.
00:38:47Please, like I'd waste my cherry on your little pink baby corn.
00:38:51What happened with the bartender?
00:38:55Hello?
00:38:56Have you seen the bandage on my head?
00:38:57Obviously, there's a terrible story behind it.
00:39:00I wasn't sure that was a bandage.
00:39:01I mean, sometimes you dress kind of weird.
00:39:06Break your heart.
00:39:09Damn.
00:39:10Don't bruise me before the underwear party.
00:39:12They're all underwear parties.
00:39:14Apparently, you can't have a wedding without three nights of orgies.
00:39:17First comes love, then comes marriage.
00:39:20But they never warn you about the three ways in between.
00:39:23I mean, I don't want to lose Benji over this.
00:39:26I normally love three ways.
00:39:27Who doesn't?
00:39:28I just don't want one in my relationship.
00:39:30OK, that doesn't make any sense.
00:39:32If you fantasize about it, why not share that with your boyfriend?
00:39:36I guess I'm overthinking it.
00:39:38I mean, last night should have been totally hot.
00:39:41Just give yourself over.
00:39:43Over to what, Stud Muffin?
00:39:48Absolute pleasure.
00:39:50Last night was just an appetizer.
00:39:55Tonight?
00:40:00We're having a real three-way.
00:40:04I love you.
00:40:05I love you, too.
00:40:07It's underwear night.
00:40:25Why aren't you in your pennies?
00:40:27I missed wearing clothes.
00:40:28Well, I have plans for tonight, so the room is free for whatever you need to do.
00:40:34Say, bring a certain someone back to it and get it on.
00:40:38Don't bother.
00:40:39I don't plan on using it.
00:40:41Then the room will sit there empty.
00:40:43Fine by me.
00:40:44Come on, Casey.
00:40:46This is your life.
00:40:47Get out there and live it.
00:40:49You make everything sound like it's a tweet from Oprah.
00:40:52I forgot how much I love ordering in.
00:40:57Oh, what about this guy?
00:40:59Versatile top, loves group play.
00:41:01Ooh, 5'1", 69 and short guys cramps my neck.
00:41:05We don't have to do this if you don't...
00:41:07What?
00:41:08What about him?
00:41:09Not my type.
00:41:11How about that guy?
00:41:12No, thanks.
00:41:14He looks 12, he looks 100, he looks like Rachel Maddow.
00:41:18Whoa.
00:41:19Whoa.
00:41:20Super hot.
00:41:23Says he's only looking for friendship.
00:41:25Let's see if he wants to be our friend.
00:41:42That was a stupid heartless bitch.
00:41:44Where would I hide someone's mitts?
00:41:48What?
00:41:58Casey.
00:42:06Figures.
00:42:08Where are they?
00:42:14A Harry Potter vibrator?
00:42:18I didn't think finding a three-way would be so complicated.
00:42:30Well, when you're matching three checklists against each other, it gets pretty elaborate.
00:42:35It's a good thing I studied calculus.
00:42:37Hey, let's split up and meet back up in 30.
00:42:48See if we can wrestle up on our own?
00:42:50No.
00:42:51No.
00:42:51Alright.
00:42:52I can't wait.
00:42:53Okay.
00:42:54I can't wait.
00:42:55I can't wait.
00:42:56I'll let that light out of my finger.
00:42:59Look, I'm just gonna be straight up honest, because what the hell, I'm never gonna see you again.
00:43:23I sense some sort of flirtation going on between us, and well, I'm a virgin and I really don't
00:43:32want to be anymore, so if you're not busy, can we f**k with condoms?
00:43:38Your honesty is sexy, but can I be honest as well?
00:43:44You're gay.
00:43:45No.
00:43:46I just, I know what those pills were.
00:43:50I like women.
00:43:52Real women.
00:43:53But that's what...
00:43:56If you honestly think that those pills make me any less of a woman, then you're not nearly
00:44:02enough men for me.
00:44:03Wait, I...
00:44:04You...
00:44:05Pio mierda.
00:44:08Hey, Peter.
00:44:12Yeah, the bar is three blocks down and two blocks west.
00:44:18See ya.
00:44:19Hey, I'm a person too, you know.
00:44:22Who was that?
00:44:25Who was who?
00:44:27That guy you were just hitting on.
00:44:31I don't even want to know.
00:44:34I don't even want to know.
00:44:36Damn it.
00:44:40I don't even want to know.
00:44:47See ya.
00:44:48Time for some Gwinnitch.
00:45:15Where's your boyfriend?
00:45:17Where's yours?
00:45:20Oh, um, he's picking out underwear.
00:45:25Oh.
00:45:26Hey, um, can we go somewhere and talk?
00:45:31Yeah, sure.
00:45:32Okay, um, how about my room?
00:45:36I wasn't hitting on that guy.
00:45:41Come on.
00:45:42It was more obvious than the dent in Anderson Cooper's forehead.
00:45:46Something's weird about your relationship with Casey.
00:45:51Excuse me, Chelsea, lately, but you and Zach seem to be having some problems of your own.
00:45:56Why do you say that?
00:45:57Yeah.
00:45:58Well, for one, look at us.
00:45:59Oh.
00:46:00Go for the gilligan speech.
00:46:04Oh.
00:46:05Oh.
00:46:06Oh.
00:46:07Oh.
00:46:08Short, short, short.
00:46:09I might get to see some gay sex.
00:46:22Um, what's that?
00:46:23Penny.
00:46:24So, there's nothing unusual happening with you and Casey?
00:46:37And there's nothing unusual with you and Zach?
00:46:38You first.
00:46:39Let's go get Zach, then find Casey, then figure out what's going on.
00:46:44Fine.
00:46:45But real quick.
00:46:46Much better.
00:46:47Yep.
00:46:48So, I have to tell you something.
00:46:50I saw something last night.
00:46:51So did I.
00:46:52Why do you think we didn't work out?
00:46:53I don't know.
00:46:54I don't know.
00:46:55Um, gay guys, I think it's a little bit more.
00:46:56I don't know what happened.
00:46:57I don't know what happened.
00:46:58You first.
00:46:59Let's go get Zach, then find Casey, then figure out what's going on.
00:47:01Fine.
00:47:02But real quick.
00:47:03Much better.
00:47:04Yep.
00:47:05So, I have to tell you something.
00:47:12I saw something last night.
00:47:14So did I.
00:47:16Why do you think we didn't work out?
00:47:18I don't know.
00:47:21Um, gay guys can't have long term relationships.
00:47:25You know that's not true.
00:47:27I guess maybe because we never tried to spice things up.
00:47:30What?
00:47:31You wanted an open relationship?
00:47:32No.
00:47:33I know we're gay and we're supposed to make up whatever kind of family we want.
00:47:38But for me, my family, it's just going to be one special person standing beside me.
00:47:46Someone to grow old with.
00:47:49Even during the boring times.
00:47:52I miss the boring times.
00:47:59Shit, wrong room.
00:48:01Hello.
00:48:02What's going on guys?
00:48:04Nothing.
00:48:05I don't know.
00:48:06It looks awfully horny in here.
00:48:08What are you two doing together?
00:48:11Looking for you guys.
00:48:13What were you talking about?
00:48:15How to keep the spark alive.
00:48:17Yeah?
00:48:18How do you guys do that?
00:48:21Benji was doubting our sparks.
00:48:24Well, we've got sparks, right Zach?
00:48:31That's right Zach.
00:48:32I can feel some sparks right about now in fact.
00:48:36Um, we should get ready for the party.
00:48:39Uh, yeah I'll go first.
00:48:46Well, I don't need a change in the bathroom if you guys don't mind.
00:48:51Yeah, go ahead.
00:48:55Damn.
00:48:56Damn.
00:48:57Damn.
00:48:58My underwear are back in my room.
00:49:01Hey honey?
00:49:02You got some underwear I can borrow?
00:49:04Uh, yeah.
00:49:05Checking my suitcase.
00:49:16You look great in those trunks, Zach.
00:49:19Maybe I could try them on?
00:49:21Please?
00:49:22He said please.
00:49:30How do they look?
00:49:31They look good.
00:49:32Real good.
00:49:33Except something's poking out of them.
00:49:36Oh yeah.
00:49:38I see that.
00:49:39It'd be hard to miss.
00:49:41Um, hi.
00:49:44Come here boyfriend.
00:49:46Uh, Zach and I were, uh...
00:49:48Uh, have never had breakup sex.
00:49:52Wow, that's better.
00:49:54...
00:49:58...
00:50:04Gee whiter.
00:50:06...
00:50:11Ñ‹
00:50:15be
00:50:17Where's the contents?
00:50:27Um, over here.
00:50:45Get back up here, Casey.
00:50:46Yes, sir.
00:50:49So, who's doing who?
00:50:52Home.
00:50:53Yeah, Zach.
00:50:55Who's doing who?
00:50:57Home.
00:51:01Well, I think I want to do...
00:51:08I've had it.
00:51:12Something grabbed me!
00:51:14Ah!
00:51:15There's a monster under the bed!
00:51:23What the hell?
00:51:24What's going on?
00:51:25Hi.
00:51:26And what are you doing under there?
00:51:29I was just masturbating.
00:51:30I don't know what she was doing.
00:51:32I was looking for my medication.
00:51:34This bitch stole.
00:51:35Then you guys came in and started playing human centipede.
00:51:37This is too messy for me.
00:51:39You're part of this mess.
00:51:41No, he's not.
00:51:42Zach, Peter and I aren't boyfriends.
00:51:48We never were.
00:51:50What?
00:51:51I didn't want you to feel sorry for me, that you had a boyfriend and I didn't.
00:51:58So, I asked Peter to pretend that we were dating.
00:52:01I knew it.
00:52:03Well, not that, but I knew something.
00:52:05I'm sorry.
00:52:06I should've known.
00:52:07Everything you do involves a giant conspiracy.
00:52:11You should've just been honest with him.
00:52:13Oh, that's priceless coming from you, Benji.
00:52:16I saw him bring a guy into your room last night.
00:52:19That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
00:52:21I can bring back whoever I want.
00:52:23Whomever.
00:52:24Cause Zach and I are in an open relationship.
00:52:26An open...
00:52:30I didn't know.
00:52:32Benji wanted us to give it a try.
00:52:35Why didn't...
00:52:38Wait a minute.
00:52:39You're giving me a hard time for lying when you've been lying about your perfect relationship all along?
00:52:44Fuck you.
00:52:46Well, we're better than you and I ever were.
00:52:49And you...
00:52:51Come on.
00:52:59These are the gays of our lives.
00:53:03I cannot believe him.
00:53:04When is he gonna grow up?
00:53:06And you.
00:53:07What was that?
00:53:09I'm sorry.
00:53:11Maybe I can make it up to you.
00:53:13But I don't want to say...
00:53:14Yeah, it's mostly political.
00:53:18But I want to make a statement.
00:53:20With you.
00:53:21We're not perfect.
00:53:22But what couple is?
00:53:23Marry me.
00:53:24Tomorrow.
00:53:25Well, it's legal.
00:53:26Marry me.
00:53:27Are you serious?
00:53:28Fine.
00:53:29So I've got this crazy feeling,
00:53:31It's so romantic.
00:53:32Marry me.
00:53:37Tomorrow.
00:53:39Well, it's legal.
00:53:42Marry me.
00:53:45Are you serious?
00:53:48Fine.
00:53:53It's so romantic.
00:53:58I'm feeling it too, oh.
00:54:01So what am I so afraid of?
00:54:05If it's just you?
00:54:08But baby, you're hot and cold
00:54:10And maybe I'll never know
00:54:12Just what you want me to.
00:54:16And this is everything I need me to say
00:54:20But ten times I was so afraid.
00:54:24And this is everything I need you to hear.
00:54:27But ten times that mine leaves me.
00:54:34Hey.
00:54:38Hop in.
00:54:39Everything's better after a jacuzzi.
00:54:42How you feeling?
00:54:55Like I just sat through the first three Twilight movies.
00:54:59That bad, huh?
00:55:01Hey, I'm sorry for getting you mixed up in all this.
00:55:06It's okay.
00:55:07This definitely makes my top ten kinky, Liz.
00:55:10It's fun hanging out with you.
00:55:14And you know what?
00:55:15You are a great kisser.
00:55:17And you are packing the goods down there.
00:55:20Thanks.
00:55:25Zach's right, you know.
00:55:27Every time I want to get close to him, I just lie.
00:55:31What is wrong with me?
00:55:33Deep-seated insecurities.
00:55:36Oh.
00:55:37Well, how can I not have that when I don't look like you?
00:55:39Oh, stop using that you're better looking than me as a crutch, Casey.
00:55:43We've all got shit we're insecure about.
00:55:45And what are you insecure about?
00:55:49See?
00:55:50Blamed.
00:55:51Of course I'm insecure.
00:55:53I'm insecure that I spend so much time trying to get laid that I'll pass upon a good opportunity
00:56:00when something meaningful comes my way.
00:56:03Insecure that I can't commit to a relationship ever.
00:56:07When I finally do, once the sex with me gets boring, then I won't have enough to offer.
00:56:15And I'm insecure that my arms aren't big enough, my legs are too skinny, my hair's thin.
00:56:20Okay, shut up.
00:56:24Hey, when we get back to the city, we should hang out.
00:56:26I don't know, go to bars, meet some guys.
00:56:29Now that I'm finally accepting, Zach and I are over.
00:56:34Yeah, I heard about their wedding.
00:56:36What?
00:56:45You feel any better yet?
00:56:49I feel like Mel Gibson at the Museum of Tolerance.
00:56:53Let's keep trying.
00:56:54Here's what's really jacked.
00:56:56I miss him.
00:56:58The beanpole?
00:57:00Yeah, that's why I wanted to be friends with him.
00:57:02On paper, we're totally wrong for each other.
00:57:05He's all dorky and self-conscious.
00:57:08He likes Gaga more than Madonna.
00:57:11And he actually laughs at clowns.
00:57:13But...
00:57:17But his goofy smile just slays me every time.
00:57:21He loves old movies, and we always order the same thing on the menu.
00:57:26And he always means well, even when he's lying.
00:57:29And from what I saw, he's hung like the Incredible Hulk.
00:57:33Yeah, skinny guy has never failed a surprise.
00:57:36And he's not into open relationships.
00:57:38I don't know.
00:57:39Ask yourself something.
00:57:40Why are you talking about Casey when you're about to marry Benji?
00:57:53You look so good.
00:57:54You look so good.
00:57:55Oh, it's our flower girl.
00:57:56You can be my something blue.
00:57:57Very funny.
00:57:58Darling, what's wrong?
00:57:59Did Kathy Griffin get another facelift?
00:58:00Zach's getting married.
00:58:01Our Zach?
00:58:02And he's in an open relationship.
00:58:03Oh, I hate his guts.
00:58:04Oh, come now.
00:58:05There's too much hate in the world already.
00:58:06You don't hate Zach.
00:58:07I know.
00:58:08Maybe this is life giving you one of those teachable moments they're always talking about on CNN.
00:58:13Maybe you can put a little more love back in the world by supporting Zach.
00:58:18Are you kidding me?
00:58:19I don't want to see him get married to some guy who's not me.
00:58:21But this isn't about you.
00:58:22This isn't about you.
00:58:23This is about you.
00:58:24This is about me.
00:58:25You know, I'm not a guy.
00:58:26I'm not a guy.
00:58:27I'm a guy.
00:58:28I'm a guy.
00:58:29I'm a guy.
00:58:30I'm a guy.
00:58:31I'm a guy.
00:58:32I'm a guy.
00:58:33I'm a guy.
00:58:34I'm a guy.
00:58:35I'm a guy.
00:58:36I'm a guy.
00:58:37I love you.
00:58:38This is about someone you love.
00:58:40And even though Zach might not know it..
00:58:41He needs your friendship.
00:58:43Are you going to be there for him?
00:58:58Truth?
00:59:00How'd you know I was behind you?
00:59:02Translantez your sense.
00:59:03We all have it.
00:59:04You do?
00:59:05TSP so truth truth what's the catch I think our fight is actually pretty
00:59:16stupid it's just that since Jason I act like I'm confident and I can find another
00:59:24boy for whenever I want but I'm scared you and me both oh come on you have a
00:59:30natural bone vagina just lay down on a plate and make him crawling but my
00:59:34personality scares them off I wish I was more like you I can't believe a system
00:59:40interested that to me a what a non-transsexual oh buenos dias ladies
00:59:47he's all yours oh I'm mad at him it's hot today isn't it
00:59:57god it's hard to stay mad at him is he flirting with you or me he's playing with
01:00:03both of us I guess teasing gay boys isn't enough he has to get us women to
01:00:07fight each other too let's go put that sexy bastard in his place you've got
01:00:13balls that's not funny oh god I'm sorry I meant in the same way I do I just fuck
01:00:20with you I know it's your man
01:00:22oh and do you Rick promise to love Steve for as well as you long shall live well duh great
01:00:33congratulations so you heard yeah
01:00:46I'm sorry that I lied to you I'm sorry too
01:00:57are you excited for your wedding I don't know we're just getting married to make a political
01:01:08statement I've always pictured a big beautiful wedding what you and white sunflowers everywhere
01:01:18a choir singing ray of light we'd write our own vows they'd make us cry when we read them
01:01:23and when the minister pronounced us husband and husband we do a choreographed dance to umbrella
01:01:28with umbrellas I I didn't mean we I meant you
01:01:37do you do you need a best man
01:01:44what are you serious I know I haven't always been the best man but I came here to tell you that
01:01:55I want you in my life even if it is just as your best man
01:02:01I get why you did it you wanted the best for me
01:02:11that's what best men do
01:02:14so does that mean I can do it
01:02:19but this isn't my real wedding
01:02:23Jason
01:02:24it's time
01:02:26this is his room
01:02:32so what's the plan
01:02:33I thought you had a plan
01:02:34it's cause you're stupid
01:02:35wait wait wait what if he's with someone
01:02:37you're right we should break in
01:02:40what are you doing
01:02:45shh
01:02:45come on Louise
01:02:53are you scared to face up to the consequences of the way you treat women
01:02:56I spy with my little eye something that begins with pussy
01:03:02he's butt naked and circumcised
01:03:05congratulations you can read
01:03:06what are you doing here
01:03:07you've been playing us against each other this whole weekend
01:03:10leading us on
01:03:11naming the same drink after both of us
01:03:13boogling your bosom
01:03:14what's the matter with you
01:03:15I'm sorry
01:03:17I just like the attention
01:03:19but I'm harmless
01:03:21you see no women will ever have me because of my
01:03:24problem
01:03:26what problem
01:03:29oh Penny
01:03:30I should have not been so quick to judge you
01:03:32you're right
01:03:32it is not your anatomy that makes you a beautiful woman
01:03:36so what you're trans now
01:03:38I was trying to do the right thing
01:03:40those were not your pills
01:03:41no they're mine
01:03:42and how is thinning my identity to you the right thing
01:03:45I guess you have to be there
01:03:46it doesn't matter who is white to you
01:03:48you're both beautiful women
01:03:50and like so many beautiful and cruel women before
01:03:53neither of you will have me once you have seen
01:03:56my problem
01:03:57what's your goddamn problem already
01:04:00I was born with a tail
01:04:05born with a what?
01:04:11because of this tail
01:04:13women scream
01:04:14and I never make love
01:04:17I just
01:04:18flirt
01:04:20I kind of know exactly where you're coming from
01:04:26to be honest
01:04:37I'm having some really trashy thoughts for you
01:04:41me too
01:04:42what is happening
01:04:46I don't think they have a name for this in Spanish
01:04:49no way
01:05:08not happening
01:05:09let's just keep you in the middle
01:05:13good question
01:05:18can that thing get hard?
01:05:21Jerry
01:05:22do the Aladdin to my Jasmine
01:05:26the Weasley to my Hermione
01:05:29and the Brad to my Angelina
01:05:32if they're still together
01:05:32no we're not
01:05:34I once loved someone and set him free
01:05:37he slept with a meth head
01:05:40and ran off with a hairdresser
01:05:41of course you did
01:05:42so now I'm gonna tie you down while I can
01:05:45okay?
01:05:50you two are next
01:05:51we've assigned witnesses
01:05:53unless you have friends or family here
01:05:54yeah my best friend is their flower girl
01:05:56oh but
01:05:58but what?
01:05:59oh my
01:06:00that means you two are the ex
01:06:02and new boyfriend
01:06:03he was so intimidated by
01:06:05he told you?
01:06:06he told someone
01:06:07I just have really good hearing
01:06:09so he's gonna help you guys get married
01:06:12guys that good are really hard to find
01:06:16yeah they are
01:06:18love is never easy
01:06:23we won't always understand each other
01:06:26we won't even like each other some days
01:06:29but no matter what
01:06:31you're a part of me
01:06:33my heart is connected to yours
01:06:36and no argument
01:06:38no document
01:06:39and certainly no court ruling
01:06:42is ever going to change that
01:06:43and now by the power vested in me
01:06:46can we kiss already?
01:06:47please please
01:06:48so now I've had sex
01:06:57how's it feel?
01:06:59it's good
01:07:00but not as good as cheesecake
01:07:04it never is
01:07:05it would be cheesecake at the wedding reception
01:07:11the wedding!
01:07:13this old fart sure took their time
01:07:17okay we've got five minutes before the legal marriage loophole closes
01:07:20you two ready?
01:07:21ready
01:07:22ready
01:07:22wait
01:07:28my den is stuck
01:07:29okay
01:07:32we are here to join
01:07:34Zachary and Benjamin
01:07:35in rapid matrimony
01:07:37marriage is a contract
01:07:39that should not be entered into lightly
01:07:40blah blah blah
01:07:41we gotta hurry this up
01:07:42if you guys want to do this on time
01:07:43okay
01:07:43so does anyone object?
01:07:45anyone?
01:07:48someone objects
01:07:49oh god
01:07:51her?
01:07:52uh
01:07:53no
01:07:53sorry
01:07:54i wasn't
01:07:55not
01:07:56forever holding my peace
01:07:57okay
01:07:59so do you
01:08:00Zachary
01:08:01take Benjamin
01:08:01to be your lawfully wedded partner for life
01:08:03i
01:08:05i
01:08:07i
01:08:08can i talk to you?
01:08:13yeah
01:08:13yeah sure
01:08:14by all means
01:08:14please do
01:08:15you've got
01:08:15several seconds
01:08:16we can't do this
01:08:19you don't even love me
01:08:20no but i love you
01:08:22we're evolving
01:08:23and this is just a legal procedure
01:08:25that's it
01:08:26i know it is
01:08:28for you
01:08:28that's not what marriage is to me
01:08:30i'm not fighting for the right to make a political statement
01:08:34i'm asking my country to recognize me for who i am and the family i want to make
01:08:39and this isn't it
01:08:40are you saying you don't want to make a family with me?
01:08:44i guess i am
01:08:48i mean i love you
01:08:51but
01:08:54i love somebody else
01:08:58you've always been there
01:09:04it's always been you
01:09:05it's always been you
01:09:06i just
01:09:08i didn't realize it
01:09:10until now
01:09:11uh
01:09:14one minute
01:09:15one minute
01:09:16i'm really sorry
01:09:19go ahead
01:09:21kiss him
01:09:23you were my best friend
01:09:29then my boyfriend
01:09:30and then my best man
01:09:34and now
01:09:37thirty seconds
01:09:37somebody gonna get married or what?
01:09:39what a day it's been
01:09:56what a life it's gonna be
01:09:58one penny
01:10:06and one lily
01:10:09thank you louise
01:10:11we're gonna miss you louise
01:10:13uh you'll forget about me once you leave this place
01:10:16never
01:10:16probably
01:10:17so how do you find out that you're a woman?
01:10:24not that different than before
01:10:26just a little more
01:10:27i don't know
01:10:28powerful
01:10:29i'll be asking you the same question in a few weeks
01:10:34and you'll probably get the same answer
01:10:37to a beautiful weekend
01:10:39to two beautiful women
01:10:42cheers
01:10:43shall we
01:10:48you're awful frisky for a guilty grin
01:10:59hey it sucks to break up
01:11:01but that's why they invented rebounds
01:11:04rebounds are my specialty
01:11:06in three ways
01:11:11those are my specialty
01:11:13for a second there i thought we were gonna get married
01:11:25i know
01:11:27so did i
01:11:28can you imagine?
01:11:29well yeah
01:11:30me too
01:11:32so we both love each other
01:11:35so now what?
01:11:36you mean what if we get bored again?
01:11:38yeah
01:11:39i guess we could always break up
01:11:42and then lie, trick, and seduce our way back into each other's hearts
01:11:46sounds like a plan
01:11:48sounds like a plan
01:11:50we are so weird
01:11:53so i asked for love
01:11:56i asked for a song
01:11:59it brought me joy
01:12:02joy
01:12:04joy
01:12:06i search for peace
01:12:09i beg for help
01:12:11and i pray for time
01:12:13pray for time
01:12:15broken joy
01:12:30i search for peace
01:12:32i beg for help
01:12:34and pray for time
01:12:36pray for time
01:12:38broken joy
01:12:40joy
01:12:42joy
01:13:00took a walk alone today
01:13:02first time i'd seen the sun
01:13:05the oceans, every plate of grass and eye
01:13:08We all live as one
01:13:10On two birds in a yellow wood tree
01:13:13I wish our love would always be
01:13:16I've seen the works of heaven
01:13:18But it took your love to set me free
01:13:21I've seen the wonders of the world
01:13:24Stood on mountains green and tall
01:13:27Seen kingdoms rise and fall
01:13:30All for love and more
01:13:32Yet I yearn to understand
01:13:35The amazement in my hands
01:13:38There's nothing on this land
01:13:41Like you
01:13:44You
01:13:49Amaze me
01:13:53Thought about all you made me see
01:13:56And how the colors came to life in me
01:13:59When I saw a butterfly
01:14:01Dance upon destiny
01:14:04And I watched it rise up and fly
01:14:07Here within I saw you and I
01:14:10I feel like a little child
01:14:12On its first breath of life
01:14:15I've seen the wonders of the world
01:14:18Stood on mountains green and tall
01:14:21Seen kingdoms rise and fall
01:14:24All for love and more
01:14:26Yet I yearn to understand
01:14:28The amazement in my hands
01:14:32There's nothing on this land
01:14:34The amazement in my hands
01:14:38I've seen the wonders of the world
01:14:43Stood on mountains green and tall
01:14:45Seeing kingdoms rise and tall
01:14:46Seeing kingdoms rise and fall
01:14:46All for love and more
01:14:48Yet I yearn to understand
01:14:50The amazement in my hands
01:14:50There's nothing on this land
01:14:51There's nothing on this land
01:14:57There's nothing on this land
01:14:58Just when I come to compromise
01:15:01Just when I come to compromise
01:15:02You showed me light
01:15:03of the world stood on mountains green and tall seeing kingdoms rise and fall all for love and
01:15:12war yet i yearn to understand the amazement in my hands there's nothing on this land like you
01:15:23there's nothing on this land like you you are ten kinds of sexy how do you feel about open relationships
01:15:54intrigued do you maybe want to go out on a date i'd like that
01:16:02can i come
01:16:05just kidding i'm republican congressman can you imagine if that got out
01:16:23you
01:16:30you
Recommended
1:27:06
|
Up next
23:10
1:44:10
1:16:25
1:21:55
26:42
1:36:08
41:50
1:30:35
17:35
29:30
1:33:29
1:28:11
43:25
44:44
1:02:33
44:44
1:42:43
40:04
40:48
46:47
40:53
54:05
24:57
13:44