- 6/6/2025
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the table and friends.
00:05Here, here, ready, ready, do, do.
00:12The sound effects man is at lunch. Does it make a sound?
00:16A week ago Tuesday, Mrs. Ethel Klein-Lap stopped the local dog pressing for a corned beef on the right, his animal's third and beside a sloth.
00:31Suddenly, the unexpected happens.
00:34Stop!
00:36Help! That dog took my class! Stop that dog!
00:42The first snatching poochers. Today I'm...
00:45The Garfield Crime Files.
00:49Hello and welcome to the Garfield Crime Files, where each week we bring you the story of some sinister lawmaker,
00:55like Benny the seller of a star burlap, wanted for embezzlement, armed robbery, and buying a leisure suit after 1971.
01:04Or Sam the spatula Schmidler, wanted for gambling, smuggling, and having one of those baby-on-board signs in his car window.
01:13A couple of tough customers there.
01:15But today on the Garfield Crime Files...
01:19And by the way, this feature is nothing like the Garfield Piles, the scary stuff.
01:23Let's get that straight.
01:25This drawer is the case of the purse-snatching poochers.
01:29Excuse me, this drawer is not much.
01:33This drawer is the purse-snatching poochers.
01:35And how this air-headed Airedale found himself in the midst of it.
01:39How could Sweeney get a symbol to get his mug on the ten most-wanted house list?
01:45For that answer, we have to go back to last Monday.
01:49And this quaint suburban woman.
01:51Inside, cartoonist John Arbaugh, who was making up a purse suit.
01:57He's a bit...
01:59Just nuts.
02:00Do you know, do you know?
02:02The list was so long, he decided to send his dog to the market just to pick up items beginning with the letter J.
02:09That's probably all I can carry.
02:11I gave him my money and the list, and sent him on his merry-go.
02:19I'm dying to the string of purse-snatching, diligently being perpetrated by dogs.
02:23Garfield, will you turn the TV off?
02:25I have to work.
02:27I have to work, too.
02:29But while I beat the can, he was hard at work, Odie was already halfway downtown.
02:35Where, unbeknownst to him, Mrs. Barbara Streisand, in relation to the singer,
02:40was just leaving Harry's chicken store for him with her usual Memorial Day chicken costume.
02:45Suddenly, crime reared its ugly head.
02:48Hey!
02:49That dog stole my purse!
02:51The dog had almost made a clean getaway when he saw it.
02:55The police, in his pen, he dropped the stolen purse and went into an alley.
03:01Ten seconds later, Odie near the corner of Dale Street,
03:05some were late, dropped her purse.
03:07He decided to see if he could find its owner and return it to her.
03:11That was when the police spotted him.
03:13There's the dog with a purse!
03:15Enter it!
03:17Right now, even more confused than usual, which is pretty confusing.
03:21The puppy ran Nedley in the police.
03:23Hey, dog!
03:24This one!
03:25I'm a block away.
03:26Two men were nannin' a phony pumper's truck.
03:27Joe!
03:28Tonight's dog's comin' in with a handbag!
03:29Look at the dog!
03:30He don't look familiar!
03:31We got so many, now you can't keep track.
03:32Just get into the bag and let's split!
03:33Hey, what?
03:34In here!
03:35I said in here!
03:37Hurry!
03:38Just a calm thing, ain't looking for no plumbers.
03:40Good trick, Woot.
03:41And Odie caught himself an accidental man,
03:42and she could find his family on the tree.
03:44He's on the tree and he's on the tree.
03:45We got so many, now you can't keep track.
03:47No, you're fine.
03:48You're fine.
03:49I'm not going to get into the bag and let's split!
03:50I'm not going to get into the bag and let's split!
03:52Say what?
03:53In here!
03:54I said in here!
03:56Hurry!
03:58Just a calm day!
03:59Ain't looking for no plumbers.
04:01The trick, Woot.
04:03and Odie found himself an accidental member of the first snatching poochers.
04:07Four hours later, Odie still doesn't know.
04:10Where could he be? I gave him $40.
04:13Never trust $40 to someone whose IQ is a lower number.
04:17Let's see what else is it.
04:19Ladies and the gang of first snatching dogs, this is Wrights Ant,
04:23with no relation to the singer, told Arduous Crew,
04:26Um, what kind of dog was it?
04:29And the snow, the white dog, and the tiger,
04:33but at least he didn't get my chicken soup.
04:37John, you gave me on to something.
04:40What am I thinking, Odie? For snatching?
04:44It couldn't be.
04:45Whenever the photographer took this whole video of the dog.
04:49That's Odie! And he's turned to a light of time?
04:54No, that cannot be.
04:58Odie is honest, true blue, and decent.
05:01And he isn't smart enough to steal.
05:04And so the handsome cat, I, set out to find his...
05:10I vowed to search everywhere.
05:13From the highest mountain to the deepest crevice of the earth.
05:17No matter what personal sacrifice, no matter what private agony,
05:21I vowed not to rest until I had cleared the good name of Odie.
05:27And it's lucky I found him a block and a half away,
05:29because my feet were really starting to get tired.
05:33As we found out later, Odie had made the underdogs realize they were being used.
05:38What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:39What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:40What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:41That's what I said.
05:42Let's get them.
05:43Especially that dumb looking little one.
05:44Hey, it's tripping the felony and you're in enough trouble.
05:45What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:46What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:47What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:49What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:50What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:52What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:53What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:54What do you mean the dogs are loose?
05:56That's what I said.
06:03Let's get them.
06:04Especially that dumb looking little one.
06:10Hey, it's tripping the felony and you're in enough trouble already.
06:18Run. That's what we do. We run.
06:24This way, Odester.
06:26I know, in that building there.
06:29We got him trapped.
06:33Locked. We're doomed.
06:37Hey, why are they chasing me? You're the crook.
06:40All right, all right. I know who did.
06:43I know who did.
06:45Let me have the purse, mutt.
06:47Hey, what kind of place is this, anyway?
06:51I believe it's called the 12th District.
06:56The crooks were tossed in jail.
06:58The doors rounded up and the purses returned to their rightful owners.
07:02The good name of Oddie was cleared.
07:06Then Oddie was welcomed home,
07:08despite the fact that he was without all my favorite food starting with the letter J.
07:13A criminal and no more.
07:15That's it for this one.
07:16Be with us next time when we look into the Garfield Crime Files.
07:21We're going after the guy who edits movies for television.
07:24Talk about your evil criminals.
07:27Good night.
07:28Here's your dinner.
07:39Here's your dinner.
07:40My dinner.
07:53Some assembly required.
07:54All right, it's story time.
08:11Oh, wow.
08:13I know what kind of story I want.
08:14Something with monsters and ghosts in it.
08:18And then just don't forget managers.
08:19Oh, you won't forget that Roy's niece is visiting us.
08:23Now, I think we should let our guest hear select the story.
08:26Chloe?
08:28Maybe.
08:29Oh, I always wanted to hear this one.
08:32Snow White.
08:35Snow White?
08:36That's a girl's story.
08:37Well, I'm a girl.
08:39Yeah, but we're not.
08:40Oh, no.
08:41I like that.
08:42Oh, my God.
08:43Come on, you guys.
08:44Chloe has chosen.
08:46I'm reading Snow White.
08:48The Booker, Sheldon, Chloe.
08:50How would you love not only to hear the story, but experience it as well?
08:55How is that possible?
08:56Well, I'll need a Snow White.
09:00There's someone who'll do fine.
09:02Oh, wait.
09:03You're going to be Snow White.
09:05Oh, no, I'm not.
09:06I'm going to run madly over the hill.
09:10Wait.
09:11There may be coyotes over the hill.
09:13I'm going to stay right here and be Snow White.
09:15But wait.
09:16He can't be Snow White.
09:17He's a man.
09:18Come on up.
09:19We're going to use the power of our imagination.
09:21We're going to imagine we're all in a big castle.
09:32Nice art direction.
09:34And now, we'll all imagine Wade is the poor, overworked Snow White.
09:48Can I see something in a summer's rock?
09:51It's fine, Wade.
09:59I don't know.
10:00It's not me.
10:02Wade has...
10:04Maybe with the right accessories.
10:06Wade, get to work.
10:08Did we get to meet the wicked queen now, or something?
10:11She's next.
10:12Let's sneak over and get a peek at her.
10:14Uh, Loris.
10:20Could I be the handsome and the dashing prince?
10:23Oh, uh, well, I had planned to have some...
10:26Oh, please!
10:27They're pretty please with low-cal sugar substitute on it.
10:30Oh, okay.
10:32Okay, all right.
10:33Okay.
10:33I'm going to go get ready.
10:35Now, Roy, the prince doesn't come in until...
10:39Oh, what's the use?
10:42Not fooling me.
10:43I'm not a royal person.
10:46Is that the wicked queen?
10:49Yeah.
10:50She looks that way.
10:52Watch it.
10:53Mirror?
10:53Ain't my honest babe.
10:55And tell me who's a fabulous babe.
10:58Like every day, I am afraid the finest babe is Miss Snow Waid.
11:06I must destroy Snow Waid so that I can be the most fabulous babe in the kingdom.
11:13Who are you?
11:14You have us.
11:15We are loyal servants, your wicked queenship.
11:19Then prove your loyalty to me, servants.
11:23Take Snow Waid in the woods.
11:25And do away with her.
11:27Then return to me with her a dessert and a big chew on the box.
11:33Yes, sir.
11:35I mean, ma'am.
11:37You know, right away.
11:38You still think this is just a girl's story, guys?
11:41Not anymore.
11:42Oh, woe's I.
11:45Not only does my wife not do me justice, but I am getting dispensed.
11:50No.
11:50What?
11:51Where are you taking me?
11:52Oh, don't I want to know?
11:53The queen told us to take you out in the forest and do away with you.
11:58Oh, well, that makes sense.
12:01Help!
12:02Unfortunate plot twist.
12:04Oh, believe.
12:06Oh, help.
12:07It's fairy tale gone awry.
12:09Oh, believe.
12:10Help.
12:11Calm down, Waid.
12:13We're not going to do away with you.
12:14We're going to leave you here in the forest.
12:16And we in the forest with black poos and bears and rabbits and chipmunk.
12:20No, we're going to leave you with the seven dwarfs.
12:24They sound wrongly.
12:25And pretty.
12:27But the wicked queen is expecting his or her gizzard.
12:31We'll just stop off at a local gizzard shop and pick one up.
12:34She won't know the difference.
12:36Yeah, that wicked queen is pretty dumb.
12:38Oh, dwarfs.
12:42The seven dwarfs.
12:46Oh, yeah.
12:48Oh, fuck.
12:49That's scary.
12:50No, I'm scared.
12:52What do you mean you're scared?
12:54I'm petrified.
12:55No, I'm petrified.
12:57And I'm silly.
12:58You are all one of the seven dwarfs.
13:12My 77.
13:13They're the hounding jordage.
13:15Yeah, I'll introduce you.
13:17If you want anything done in this world, you've got to do it yourself.
13:21The stink, noisy, and here are the twins.
13:23I'm going to be hostile and inwardly friendly.
13:25It's not old.
13:26I'm amazed.
13:26Oh, I'm amazed.
13:29Well, then I'm flabbergasted and astonished.
13:31No, I'm flabbergasted.
13:33And he's astonished.
13:35I'm getting confused.
13:36You don't have to get confused.
13:38He's right here.
13:39What do you mean the wicked queen isn't home?
13:41We brought her a gizzard she asked for.
13:44She followed you into the forest to make certain you get away with Snowy.
13:49Snowy, you're in trouble.
13:51You're in trouble.
13:52Come on.
13:53Can I wait for a minute?
13:55Well, I am departing.
13:58No, departing's right over here.
14:00Oh, he laughed.
14:03Oh, he's an apple, my dear.
14:06I hope we're in time.
14:18We're too late.
14:20She ate the poison.
14:21No, that's a prince, you're wrong.
14:25I'm you.
14:27Hi, the handsome prince is here.
14:29One kiss from her true love shall awaken young slumbering baby.
14:35I am not going to kiss that.
14:39Hi, F, were it false?
14:41No, I am repulsed.
14:43Roy, you wanted to be the handsome prince.
14:45The handsome prince kisses the unconscious mate.
14:47That's no unconscious mate.
14:49That's quick with too much makeup.
14:51I have a reputation to uphold.
14:53Now there's nobody to wake the sleeping way, the snow way.
14:57I feel wicked queen is still around.
14:59And we're all out of time for this cartoon.
15:01Orson, what are we going to do?
15:03There's only one thing we can do.
15:05To be continued.
15:07Orson, are you sure about this?
15:09I am certain.
15:11Well, I am certain.
15:19What shall I do?
15:23What shall I do?
15:25What shall I do?
15:27Should I...
15:29Maybe I should...
15:31There's only one right there, sorry.
15:35I am sorry.
15:45Oh boy!
15:53Come on, power!
15:55It wasn't me this time, Odie.
15:57It wasn't me.
15:58Garfield!
15:59What did I say I was going to do the next time I got you kicking Odie off the table?
16:03Uh, force feed me pizza until I can't stand it any longer?
16:07I said I was going to throw you out for a day without lunch.
16:11Oh, right.
16:12And actually, given the quality of the lunches around here lately.
16:15Uh, cat cat is just amazing.
16:18And babe's spoken of.
16:20He sleeps all day and all night except when he's eating.
16:24You should see this cat eat.
16:26He's got his own train to cook and wait on him and...
16:29Oh, I'm so proud.
16:31And the way he annoys the puppy that lives there.
16:34Uh, this ain't the, uh, I'm about the cat you're talking about.
16:37Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:39Oh, no, this cat is named Gabriel.
16:41He lives over in Elman 3rd.
16:43Gabriel?
16:45Looks like an average house.
16:57That must be Gabriel.
16:59He doesn't look like me.
17:01Probably doesn't act at out like me.
17:03It's time for your 325 lasagna, Gabriel.
17:05You're 46 seconds later.
17:09He's, he's devouring the lasagna.
17:12That's my devour.
17:14Uh, next batch, more tomato.
17:16We'll go a little easier on the Mercado, okay?
17:18Well, uh, I should take a nap or watch TV.
17:21Uh, I'm hoping I will.
17:24And then, ladies and gentlemen, kicking Ollie.
17:31Oh, easy.
17:32That's my kick.
17:33That's how I kick Ollie off the table.
17:34Hey, Brooke plagiarist.
17:35Gabriel, what did I say I was going to do the next time I got you kicking Ollie off the table?
17:48Uh, maybe watch it on my favorite TV show until I can't stand it any longer?
17:52I said I was going to throw you out for a day without lunch.
17:57Oh, yeah.
17:58Right there, buddy.
17:59I'm actually giving him a while in the lunches.
18:04You?
18:05Me?
18:06Yeah, you.
18:07You stole my act.
18:08You stole my attitude and my appetite and how I kick puppies off the table.
18:12Oh, big fat hairy meal.
18:14You stole that too.
18:15You live like me.
18:16You think like me.
18:17You don't even eat like me.
18:19How could this be happening?
18:21How could it be happening?
18:22He wondered.
18:23Well, anything can happen in one another.
18:25Gabriel's tales of scary stuff.
18:30No, you don't have tales of scary stuff.
18:33I have tales of scary stuff.
18:35Don't you go try and have tales of scary stuff.
18:37Okay, I'm through pussyfooting around here, fella.
18:40Either you knock off stealing my life or I'll sue you for copyright infringement.
18:45Yeah, I'm real worried about having a bad hair day.
18:50And don't talk to the viewers.
18:51They're my viewers.
18:52I talk to them.
18:53Well, are you coming?
18:54Oh, I've got to do something.
18:55This is driving me, Fernandez.
18:56Oh, you know, I know exactly how you go.
18:57It's affecting me the same way.
18:58Shit!
18:59I don't know.
19:00I don't know.
19:01I don't know.
19:02I don't know.
19:03I don't know.
19:04I don't know.
19:05I don't know.
19:06I don't know.
19:07I don't know.
19:08I don't know.
19:09I don't know.
19:10I don't know.
19:12Shut up!
19:13All night long he had nightmares and bad dreams where everything he did was also being
19:16done by the cat.
19:17Gabriel.
19:18Stop narrating my life!
19:22Whatever I do he wants.
19:25He's stealing everything I have away from you.
19:33So, what do you want to hear tonight, Penelope?
19:35I don't care just a lot of people.
19:39He's got my curl!
19:49He's got my show!
19:51And the newest fair sweet invitation,
19:54Blue Dolls of Gabriel stuck inside car windows.
19:58He's got my Mr. Jason!
20:01What a horrible nightmare!
20:07What a horrible nightmare!
20:09There you are!
20:14I just had the worst nightmare in my life!
20:17You did?
20:18I just had the worst nightmare in my life!
20:21Stop saying the same things I'm saying!
20:23I'm more than you!
20:25I have to break this pattern.
20:27Do something you would never think of.
20:29Wait right here!
20:31I'll be back in a second.
20:33He knows what I'm going to do,
20:35but I'll show him.
20:36I'm not as easy to predict as he thinks I am.
20:39This will get him.
20:45I'll show him that Garfield the cat isn't...
20:48Somebody can just imitate and rip off like...
20:51Where did you get that outfit?
20:54Never mind.
20:55Garfield, you have to believe me.
20:57I never meant the way to get this far.
20:59See, I've always admired you.
21:01I understand.
21:02I've always admired you too.
21:04I wanted to be so much like you,
21:05but now I was getting out of control.
21:07I've lost my own identity.
21:09Garfield, you have to help me stop being you!
21:12That won't be easy.
21:13But I think there's a way.
21:14You can do everything I tell you.
21:16Everything.
21:17Then come on.
21:18There's not a minute to waste.
21:20Well, anyway, he took me shopping,
21:22and then he started planning my meal.
21:24You're never eating again!
21:26I'm sorry, everyone.
21:27What is all this?
21:28Health food.
21:29Salads, yogurt, protein drinks.
21:31Or two.
21:32Fourteen.
21:33Fifteen.
21:34Sixteen.
21:35Keep it up.
21:36Fourteen.
21:37Twenty.
21:38Twenty.
21:39Twenty.
21:40Twenty.
21:41Twenty.
21:42Twenty.
21:43Twenty.
21:44Exactly.
21:45Eight hours of sleep a day.
21:46No more.
21:47You're going to cut back watching TV.
21:48For weeks, Gabriel trained just as I told him.
21:53And by the way, please notice that I am narrating.
21:57You know, Garfield, I haven't done anything even remotely Garfield.
22:02I can reach that.
22:03Sure.
22:04I'm not going to thank you Garfield.
22:05Just be yourself.
22:06And if you ever don't want to be that,
22:08you can come and help get some moves in there.
22:10Make it out of everything.
22:12Well, I guess I took care of that problem.
22:16You sleep all day.
22:19Do everything you can Garfield.
22:21You're one on Garfield.
22:23I aim to stay that way.
22:25Play the way.
22:27Tel Lar, we need to stop knowing how the way ofacas and application is an army,
22:30and walk a little bit to if you in the rest of the land,
22:32at a place that trapped in life.
22:34Over here, the rest of the land is going to be awesome.
22:35First SpAD is over here,
22:49we have a great gathering thing that's up to me too.
22:50Let us know.
22:51Can i take a break of my own job as Att referenced.
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22:55
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