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IBIZACREWSOCIAL
  • 05/06/2025
CORRIE

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Transcript
00:00MUSIC
00:27I'd have brought it to you in bed, but I know you're not that keen.
00:30I'm not keen on you having breakfast in bed,
00:32because last time you used my duvet as a napkin,
00:35you've got brown sauce all over my Egyptian cotton
00:37and crumbs everywhere, and I mean everywhere.
00:42Well, I'm just trying to make it up to you.
00:44Oh, what, and you think a couple of slices of soggy toast will do that?
00:47Well, I'm sorry, what about tonight? I could make tea.
00:50You said that like you were offering me a kidney.
00:52Tim, I cook for you every night,
00:55and the only gratitude I get from you
00:57is you complaining about Wethy County from behind the Gazette
01:01with a burp they can hear in Balaclava Terrace.
01:05Well, I'm only trying to make it up to you.
01:07Well, you could cook me a five-course banquet meal
01:10with Michael Ball singing in the conservatory while I ate it.
01:14That still wouldn't make up for you
01:15going to the foster people behind my back.
01:19What about Michael Bublé?
01:20I love the smell of speck in the morning.
01:37Speck?
01:38Bacon, as they call it in Deutschland.
01:40Oh, that doesn't sound very appetising.
01:42Neither does sauerkraut, but you can't beat it.
01:44Dead elf here, no.
01:46I'll have to make you some.
01:47I'll pass, Tom.
01:47Are you leaving that?
01:50Go for it.
01:52I'll only be seeing it again if I overate before chemo.
01:55Debbie taking you in?
01:57Yeah.
01:57Well, we haven't got much on. I can do it.
01:59Don't worry about it.
02:02I was hoping you could straighten the books out before
02:04and take them over to the accountant.
02:07Yeah, whatever you want.
02:08Hiya.
02:10Hangover breakfast?
02:12Well, it takes a real man to keep up with me.
02:14You were the one that ran away.
02:15Only so I could live to fight another day.
02:17Such as tonight. Fancy it?
02:21Depends if I get a better offer.
02:22You won't get a better offer.
02:24Mine's a black coffee. Two sugars, I'll be sat over there.
02:28Well, excuse me.
02:31Come up with the chemo today, bro.
02:37What's up?
02:39If I wanted a bad smell in the house, I'd let him cook his sauerkraut.
02:42I know Tracey's a good laugh and all of that,
02:44but she's also trouble with a capital T.
02:47Well, we warned him, but
02:48he's a grown, single man
02:50and she's a grown, single woman.
02:53Let him enjoy themselves.
02:55See you tonight.
02:59Coffee.
03:00Two sugars.
03:08Get a load of that in your lungs.
03:09Freedom!
03:11Smells more like pawn shop bins to me.
03:13All right.
03:15Listen, once we've dropped your bag off,
03:17do you fancy going down to the cafe?
03:18We'd get a celebratory croissant.
03:20Hey, but you couldn't get any of them down the nick, could you?
03:22Yeah, we could.
03:22It's not bread and water, Dad.
03:23And I'd soon just be at home, to be honest.
03:25This ain't got nothing to do with you-know-who.
03:29No, it's got nothing to do with Brody.
03:31No.
03:31All right, good.
03:32Good to hear it.
03:34Well, I guess we'll just have to do our celebrating later, won't we?
03:36What do you mean later?
03:38Well, you didn't think I was going to let your first day of freedom go without fanfare, do you?
03:41I mean, at one stage, I'd booked a fly-past and a marching band.
03:45Right, so what have you done?
03:47Nothing.
03:48As of yet.
03:49Wanted to make sure that your release went without a hitch.
03:51I did think that maybe a few of us could go down to the bistro later, you know, raise a celebratory glass to happier times.
03:59I don't think so.
04:01Dylan, I've missed you so much.
04:03I've been worried out of my mind since the day you got sent down.
04:08It wasn't just you that got released today.
04:10Remember that?
04:11And I should be forever grateful for it.
04:13Right, right.
04:14I know.
04:15Well, what if me and you go for some lunch in the cafe later?
04:17But just us, I'm not making out as though we're having a big party, not after everything that's happened.
04:21Fine.
04:24Lunch it is.
04:30Catch you later.
04:31Not if I get a better offer.
04:34You won't get a better offer.
04:38Making a meal of that, aren't you?
04:41It was a meal to begin with.
04:43We call it breakfast.
04:44It'll be lunch if you drag it out much longer.
04:47I'll open up the garage for you, shall I?
04:50Yeah.
04:51Shouldn't be too long.
04:53Hope not.
04:54Do you make a cracking brew?
04:55Sugar's in mine.
05:00Fancy some company?
05:02Not really.
05:03Oh, don't be like that.
05:04The way things are shaping up, we could be in-laws.
05:07Wouldn't that be nice?
05:08Yeah, I won't be buying myself a fascinator any time soon.
05:11Never say never.
05:12I have got him right on the hook.
05:15Well, I reckon you'll be the one getting burnt.
05:19Oh, you reckon?
05:20Yeah, because I know what he goes through in a woman.
05:22Oh, yeah?
05:23Yeah.
05:24Breath.
05:25Look.
05:25From what I've heard, there is a string of broken hearts from here to the Rhine.
05:31Don't let yourself be next.
05:33It'd be really sad.
05:34You know, honestly, he spends half his time trying to come up with get-rich-quick schemes
05:42hoping Dad'll think he's the next Alan sugar summer.
05:45Are you all right?
05:49Yeah.
05:49I'm fine.
05:52Erm, I'll settle up.
05:54Just the sandwich and the crisps, please.
05:57They stopped serving food at the hotel?
05:59I'm not at the hotel, am I?
06:00These are for our Kevin.
06:02I'm taking him to his chemotherapy.
06:03All right.
06:04How's he doing?
06:05He's all right.
06:06Well, you know, as well as can be expected.
06:08All right.
06:09Well, give him my best.
06:11Yeah.
06:12I will do.
06:12Well, that'll, er, be 4.65, please.
06:17Oh, yeah.
06:18Erm, actually, I think I might have the cash on me.
06:21Oh, well, that's a novelty these days, innit?
06:23You'll be the first this morning.
06:29Three, erm...
06:31Four.
06:33Oh, right.
06:33Do you want me to give you a hand?
06:34I can manage!
06:35I'm not a child!
06:42Erm.
06:42You know, I'll, er...
06:44I'll give you that.
06:47Er, put the change in the, er...
06:49In the charity box.
06:51Oh, thanks.
06:52You're late for our Kev.
06:57She's under a lot of strain, innit she?
07:01Yeah.
07:04Nice cup of tea.
07:06Ooh.
07:07More than I got in Thailand.
07:08You cannot dismiss a whole country on the basis of one dodgy brew.
07:13Besides, they grow it there, the coffee, the lot.
07:16Did I ask for a lesson in Thai agriculture?
07:18I'm just saying, whatever they have here, they have there.
07:21Except the terrible weather.
07:22What about the rainy season?
07:24Clues in the name.
07:25It's rainy season 12 months to the year here.
07:28Unless it's snowing.
07:29Yeah, you don't get that.
07:31Anyway, I can't just up sticks and leave.
07:33I think the police would have something to say about that.
07:36Ah, you'll be fine.
07:37Yeah, well, even if I was, I can't see George moving halfway around the world.
07:42Surprised he's not got jobs for going to Great Yarmouth.
07:44He'd be homesick by the time the taxi got to Down Street.
07:49Englebert Humperdinck.
07:51Seriously, I've never seen anyone like it.
07:54Ah, do you know what?
07:54I'll, er...
07:56I'm going to get my lunch down the cafe.
07:57Don't go in case of him.
07:57No, no, no, it's all right.
07:59I'll, er, see you later.
08:05Thanks very much.
08:06What have I done?
08:07Er, cocked off with his missus.
08:08How was I meant to know who she was?
08:10Well, maybe if you'd asked, something more than...
08:12Are you up for it?
08:13Just give it a rest, eh?
08:16Just saw Theo.
08:18I thought you two were having lunch here.
08:19We were.
08:19Until we run into him.
08:21When is it you're going?
08:22When I'm ready.
08:22Listen, this is my house as much as it is yours.
08:25Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
08:25I think you'll find it's actually my house.
08:27And it's the last place I want to be, thanks to you two.
08:31Do you know what?
08:31I hope the police do lock me away and throw away the flaming key.
08:36Do you not think your mother's got enough on a plate without you two going at it, hammer and tongs?
08:40If you haven't gone at it, hammer and tongs with Danielle,
08:42we wouldn't have this issue, would we?
08:43Look, the only issue that matters to me is your mother's happiness.
08:45Then talk to your staff, not me.
08:47He's the one that makes me mum's life a misery.
08:50When she comes to Thailand, she's a different person.
08:52She's on holiday!
08:53It's more than that.
08:54When I came back here, I noticed the change straight away.
08:57Really?
08:57Her sister's just died.
08:59She's not exactly me cartwheeling down the cobbles to Pharrell Williams.
09:02She's just not happy here, which is why I've asked her to come to Thailand permanently.
09:07You want her to emigrate?
09:08I want her to be happy, Todd, and she is there.
09:11I'm just not sure she thinks George will be.
09:14She said that?
09:15Yeah.
09:16Well, I think she's mad.
09:17You both are.
09:17You only get one life, and it'd be the best one if you both get on that plane.
09:21Meanwhile, back in the real world, there's the jobs, businesses, families and friends that'd be leaving behind.
09:28Their actual lives.
09:30They're not just going to ditch them for a glorified gap year with a boy who never grew up.
09:34Everything all right?
09:44Everything's in order so far.
09:46Yeah, I wish I could say the same.
09:48Just spoke to Tracy.
09:50Again?
09:52We're going to run out of things to talk about.
09:54Oh, we have plenty of things to talk about.
09:57And so did you, by the sounds of him.
09:59You had no right dissing me to her.
10:01I never dissed anyone.
10:03Even her own family will admit she's not the most reliable.
10:07I know when someone's telling me lies.
10:10Why would you want to put the kibosh on me having a bit of fun?
10:13If I did, and I'm not admitting out, it would be to stop a family member getting entangled with Tracy.
10:19It wouldn't end well.
10:20Yeah, nice try, but we both know what's going on here.
10:24Do we?
10:25Yeah.
10:26You're jealous.
10:27I should stop right there.
10:28See, I knew the score from the get-go.
10:30This, this just confirms it.
10:33So, why don't you save us both a load of time and just admit it, you fancy me.
10:38Well, at least the worst is behind you.
10:56Yeah, well, I still have a record.
10:58Oh, people are more understanding these days.
11:00Do you reckon?
11:01Yes.
11:02Not like you're harmed anyone.
11:03You're not that type.
11:04Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do.
11:06You are kind, Dylan.
11:08And in this rotten old world of ours, that's the highest compliment anyone can receive.
11:16Just ignore him.
11:17I couldn't care less.
11:18Well, all the same, he must be a reminder of some horrible times, but he can't hurt you.
11:25I won't let that happen.
11:26I won't let it happen, what like?
11:28He's only needs to watch his step.
11:34Don't know about you.
11:36Like Mrs. Eileen, she keeps everything to herself.
11:40Wish she wouldn't.
11:42Nice to know what she's thinking sometimes.
11:43You all right?
11:57Yeah, yeah.
11:59Everything's quiet back there.
12:01We should hope so.
12:02Is the chapel a rest?
12:10Okay.
12:12Let's hear it.
12:14Hear what?
12:15What have you discussing with the dear departed just now?
12:18Yes, I can hear you.
12:19Not enough to catch the detail, but enough to know when you're mithered.
12:22And given that I probably won't get much out of the lake, Mr. Nethercott.
12:25Yeah, all right, all right.
12:29Worried about what your brother was saying.
12:31Don't pay any attention to him.
12:32Mr. Nethercott will have told more sense.
12:34Yeah, but what if he's right?
12:36I mean, what if your mum is unhappy?
12:37If you're waiting for my mother to be happy, you might as well jump in with Mr. Nethercott.
12:41Oh, can we just leave Mr. Nethercott out of this, please?
12:43I'm being serious.
12:45I mean, if your mum's not happy here, that's my fault.
12:49Maybe we should go to Thailand.
12:53What?
12:53What are you laughing at?
12:54What's so funny about that?
12:56Other people emigrate to Thailand.
12:57Yeah, other people, not George Shuttleworth.
13:00Why?
13:01Why not George Shuttleworth?
13:02You don't do reckless.
13:04You don't do spontaneous.
13:05You don't do surprises.
13:08Which is a very good thing for an undertaker.
13:10You need to get all of yourself, Pat.
13:15I am happily married.
13:16And even if I wasn't, you were the last block I turned to.
13:18Look, Kev's my brother.
13:20I hate feeling this way just as much as you do.
13:22What way?
13:22Oh, give it up, hey.
13:24You're not fooling anyone, least of all me.
13:26I told you, it's been like this since we first met.
13:29And I feel the same.
13:30All right?
13:30I can't get you out of my head, either.
13:32Well, it looked like it this morning.
13:34Who, Tracy?
13:35Tracy's a distraction.
13:36Something else to focus on instead of you.
13:37Because I know it's wrong.
13:39It's unforgivable.
13:40Fancying me brother's missus.
13:41But what can I do?
13:42You can leave this right now.
13:44Or I'm telling Kev.
13:45And cancer or no cancer, he will wipe the floor with you.
13:48I'm going over the road where I can get some peace.
13:51This isn't going away, Abby.
13:53Back off, will you?
13:54I mean it.
14:00What do you want?
14:11I said, what do you want?
14:14To remind you of the score.
14:16In case I didn't make myself clear in that STC.
14:20He'll be giving me any orders, pushing me around,
14:22making me feel small.
14:23That's done with.
14:24Right?
14:26Who says?
14:28You.
14:30Yeah, me.
14:33And this is the only one you're going to get.
14:35Do you understand?
14:35You see me coming, you cross the road.
14:38Right?
14:40Oi, what's going on?
14:43Nothing.
14:45We're all right.
14:47Aren't we?
14:51Kids.
14:57There.
14:58There you go, Cocker.
14:59No word will seem better after that, then.
15:01It's, uh...
15:02Oh, it's just typical of my brother.
15:06Stupid, reckless.
15:07The sort of thing that everyone else would need five pints in them to even come up with.
15:11He does it stone-cold sober.
15:13It's a gift.
15:15Do you think she'll go?
15:17Of course not.
15:18Annie knows it.
15:19All he's done is give her another if-only, another thing to regret.
15:23Nobody needs any more of those.
15:24Quicker he goes back to Thailand, the better.
15:27Hey, come on.
15:28You don't mean that.
15:29I absolutely do.
15:31You can't leave it like this.
15:34You need to make it up, William.
15:36Especially as it is, you know, it's kind of my fault, innit?
15:39There you go again, finding a way to blame yourself.
15:42No, I'm not having it, all right?
15:44Jason is in the wrong.
15:46And I just want to have some tea in the bistro and forget all about him for one night.
15:49Yes.
15:52Yes, I see what you're saying, Carla.
15:54But my motto's always been you've got to speculate to accumulate.
15:59Yeah, I understand it's your money.
16:01But in the longer term...
16:03You know how the song goes.
16:06The inside might be as black as the night, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
16:12Carla?
16:14Carla, are you there?
16:16Oh, all right.
16:18Obviously not a fan of Starlight Express.
16:20Who isn't?
16:21Oh, your boss.
16:22My boss.
16:23And if I didn't know that before, I certainly do now.
16:25Oh, Carla's never happy unless she's cracking the whip.
16:29Never mind sitting at a sewing machine.
16:31She wants you chained to an oar.
16:32Oh, well, she's wrecking I'm spending too much in here.
16:35But if you build up trade, it'll attract more buyers.
16:38Well, how are the books looking?
16:39A mess.
16:41Oh, it's just not my forte.
16:42More a front of house type girl, not a bean counter.
16:45As long as you've got beans to count.
16:47I mean, I could take a look for you if you want, because I did used to run the factory a long time ago.
16:54Oh, no, I wouldn't put you to the trouble, you know.
16:57Oh, no, I want trouble.
16:58I want to shoot it for you.
17:00You just think of me as your personal dragon.
17:03Well, I know Tim certainly does.
17:05Why, what's he been saying?
17:08Oh, nothing, nothing.
17:10Always let you give him sound advice.
17:11Oh.
17:11Yeah, yeah, do you wish we could crack on?
17:13Yeah.
17:14Oh, thanks.
17:15Do I get a free drink?
17:16Oh, yes.
17:18Yes.
17:23There you go.
17:25Well, now I'm worried.
17:27Why?
17:27Because I brought you a brew.
17:28Because an unsolicited cup of tea is only a notch down from a surprise bunch of flowers.
17:33And in my experience, now good comes of either.
17:35Hey, well, listen.
17:36It's your experience I want to talk to you about.
17:39In that case, I'll need something stronger.
17:42No.
17:43Your Jason reckons you're altogether happier when you're in Thailand.
17:48Sitting in a hammock on the beach as opposed to sitting in this tatiocha.
17:51I don't think the Gazette are going to hold the front page, love.
17:54He says you're a different person.
17:56And that's why he wants you to move out there.
17:59Don't worry, I turned him down.
18:01Because of me?
18:02Well, not exactly.
18:03For a lot of reasons.
18:04It's just a daft idea.
18:06I don't think it's daft.
18:08What?
18:09I mean, it threw me at first.
18:12But then, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
18:16So I could wind up the business here and...
18:18Well, why would you do that?
18:19You love your job.
18:21I love you more.
18:23Listen, the only thing this job's taught me is that life is too short.
18:27Too short to spend being unhappy.
18:29So, I have booked us an holiday come fact-finding mission.
18:36I thought we were going to Great Yarmouth tomorrow.
18:40Phuket, eyelash.
18:41Great Yarmouth can wait.
18:43We are flying out to Thailand tomorrow afternoon.
18:46And if we like what we find when we get there,
18:49and I can get all my ducks in a row,
18:51then this time next year,
18:53I reckon we could be living in the Sunford keeps.
18:56What do you say?
19:08You don't have to sit here.
19:11Where else would I be?
19:13Wherever you've been for the last hour and a half.
19:17Oh, sorry.
19:18I was thinking about Ronnie.
19:23He's hanging around Leanne.
19:25I mean, he denies there's anything going on,
19:27but I've got eyes in me head.
19:28They're always together, and when he's not with her,
19:31I've seen him with another woman.
19:32Hold on.
19:33You kicked him into touch.
19:35You can't blame him for moving on.
19:38Yeah, but he seems a bit quick, though, doesn't he?
19:42Like it's a rebound thing.
19:43I just don't want to see him getting hurt again.
19:50You won't talk to him.
19:52No.
19:53I'm not leaving you.
19:56You don't look too bright.
19:58Look, don't tell anyone, but...
20:01I'm not very well.
20:04And you sitting here fretting
20:06ain't gonna make me feel any better,
20:08so go and find Ronnie.
20:09Do some real good.
20:10Are you sure?
20:13Yeah, yeah.
20:14You go.
20:15I'll see you later.
20:17Yeah.
20:29Everything all right, Mr Webster?
20:31I don't know.
20:34I'm not feeling great.
20:40Please, I'm in no mood for round two.
20:49What you're in
20:49is denial.
20:52And I know because I've been there myself.
20:55But not anymore.
20:56What is it gonna take for you to get the message?
20:58Nothing.
20:59You say it's gonna make me believe you don't want me.
21:02Or change my mind about wanting you.
21:04criteria's not enough for a relationship.
21:08Safe's not enough.
21:09Not for you.
21:12Don't do this.
21:13I have to.
21:15I care if it's not what you want.
21:18Or need.
21:20You know that.
21:25Ignore it.
21:27I can't.
21:28It might be killing.
21:31Hello?
21:31Yeah, that's me.
21:37What?
21:38Is he all right?
21:42Yeah, I'll be straight over.
21:44Where is he?
21:47Okay.
21:48Yeah, okay.
21:50Okay, bye.
21:53What's wrong?
21:54Kevin's collapsed at the hospital.
21:56Oh.
22:01So passengers and bags.
22:19Terminal?
22:22Okay.
22:22Ten minutes.
22:23Tomorrow?
22:29Tomorrow.
22:30Thailand instead of Great Yarmouth?
22:33Well, if we're gonna live there, then I thought we should sample it ASAP.
22:37Don't believe you.
22:38Sorry?
22:39I don't believe you want to end up there.
22:41Well, not right now, obviously, but in a year or two, maybe three.
22:46Five years tops.
22:48And you'd give up your family business?
22:50Todd could run it for me.
22:51Could be a mutually beneficial arrangement.
22:54What makes you think you'd like it?
22:56You'll be there.
22:57What about from me?
22:59I love Thai food.
23:01Do you?
23:02Yeah, I used to have it all the time before I met you.
23:04What's your favourite dish?
23:08Too many to choose from.
23:09Well, name one.
23:11No, because it wouldn't be fair on the others, would it?
23:14Excuse me.
23:15Sorry, love.
23:17Oh, it's Mrs Kirkpatrick.
23:19Everything all right?
23:21Yeah.
23:22Yeah, no, it's just about her husband's satin lining.
23:27Pad Thai.
23:28What?
23:29Or...
23:30...Gang Kwai Weng Ai.
23:32Green curry.
23:33You just googled Thai food.
23:35Oh, whatever.
23:36Listen.
23:37We could use this holiday just to make sure we're doing the right thing.
23:41You know, a trial run, so to speak.
23:42For Todd, too.
23:43Then all's we have to do is put things in motion.
23:48For next year?
23:50Or the year after.
23:50Kev.
23:59False alarm.
24:00What?
24:00Don't tell anyone.
24:02What happened?
24:03They reckon I've got an infection.
24:05Made me woozy.
24:05I went down like a 14-year-old schoolgirl with beat-up mania.
24:11Unless, er, she did try to explain, but I was barely listening.
24:15Hey.
24:15Who's good as new?
24:16You all right?
24:20I only passed out.
24:21It's not nothing.
24:23Don't tell anyone.
24:24Why'd you keep saying that?
24:26Look, you know what people are like?
24:27Tyrone will have a field day.
24:29Tim, Steve and Ronnie.
24:31You blokes, you idiots, all of you.
24:34What have I done?
24:37I was thinking that fainting's girly.
24:41Yeah, well, it is girly.
24:42When was the last time you heard of a woman lusting over a man who fainted, eh?
24:48Oh, my hero.
24:50Yeah, well, the secret's safe with me.
24:55Me?
24:57No, no, never wanted kids.
25:00Well, you've got enough of them at little big stars, I suppose.
25:02Little big shots, yeah.
25:04I am glad to ship them back to the parents when the buzzer goes.
25:07Hope Dobbs, I am looking at you.
25:10So you wouldn't consider fostering, then?
25:12No, no, I couldn't think of anything worse.
25:15Not so that you shouldn't, you know.
25:17Given all the experience you've had
25:19and all the stress you've had to put up with.
25:22Jeez.
25:23What stress?
25:26No, nothing. Nothing.
25:28What have you heard about my two?
25:31Well, it wasn't one of them a handful.
25:33You know that business with Hope's dad?
25:36Oh, Ginny, Tong's not half wide round here.
25:39She was taken advantage of by a teacher and kidnapped.
25:41What part of that is her fault?
25:42I was misinformed.
25:44Yes, you were.
25:45All I'm saying is I am in awe of anyone who could be so selfless.
25:51Well, Tim's very keen.
25:55Oh, why?
25:55He thinks he failed Mason, but I suspect there's more to it than that.
26:06He missed out on the early days of his own daughter.
26:09And that must have hurt him in hindsight.
26:13I mean, he never said anything to me, but she was given up for adoption
26:17and then she came back into his life.
26:19Oh, equally as hard, isn't it, giving up a child?
26:22I don't envy that, Dee Dee.
26:26Especially in her case.
26:28You'd want to take on a villain's kid after you've been cheated on and lied to.
26:32It's not the little one's fault.
26:34No, I mean, Viz had to do it.
26:36Hope Dobbs were looking at you again.
26:38You'd worry they'd take after the father.
26:40Oh, yeah, and inherit the rotten gene.
26:43A little bit of Rosemary's Baby, if you ask me.
26:46Now, that's a terrifying film.
26:48Enough to put your father and kids on its own.
26:50I used to love Mia Farrah's pixie cut.
26:53People used to say that I don't resemble.
26:55What turned you off the idea?
26:58Of fostering?
26:59Mm.
27:00I've just got the wobbles.
27:03I mean, I'm not spring chicken, Glenda, am I?
27:06I've had a serious illness and...
27:09Kids can be difficult and relentless.
27:11I don't know if I want that at my time of life.
27:14Well, if you're fulfilled with your work and your home,
27:16then I'll put yourself through it.
27:19Yeah.
27:21I mean, my girls, they only contact me when they want something.
27:24Well, Tim thinks you could make a difference.
27:27He thinks we make a good team.
27:29And do you?
27:31You know, make a good team.
27:39All clear?
27:42What?
27:43Nobody you know?
27:44What result do you think I'm doing?
27:47Scanning the room?
27:48Aren't you?
27:49Yeah.
27:50Look, you're there.
27:51It's fine.
27:52I get it.
27:53If I was suddenly going out with a woman,
27:55I'd probably do the same.
27:57Can we talk about something else?
28:00Why don't I ask you Todd's three questions?
28:03Todd's three questions?
28:04All right.
28:04Well, what three questions?
28:05To get to know you better.
28:06Like, if this was a speed day,
28:07I would ask you Todd's three questions.
28:09All right.
28:10All right.
28:11Hit me.
28:12Do you believe in Bigfoot?
28:13Bigfoot?
28:15Or Sasquatch, if you prefer?
28:17No.
28:17But I have seen the footage from the 60s.
28:19Patterson Gimlin film.
28:20Bloke in a gorilla outfit, surely.
28:23Okay.
28:24Right.
28:25What's question number two?
28:27Oh, look who's here.
28:28Oh, hi, Todd.
28:31You know Theo?
28:32Oh, hi, Theodore.
28:33Hiya, son.
28:35And this is Asher.
28:36Hi.
28:36Hiya.
28:37Is this the new man, then?
28:39Sure.
28:39What?
28:43I'd give him a wide berth if I were you,
28:44because word is, he plays the field.
28:46What, Kev's brother?
28:47Yeah, Kev's brother.
28:48She tried to put me off him.
28:49Well, why would she do that?
28:50Well, I just think that people like me and you,
28:52we intimidate other women.
28:54You intimidate everyone, Trace.
28:56Look how jealous they were over Tommy Orpington.
28:58Your sister, for one.
28:59What?
29:00Toya fancied Tommy?
29:01Toya fancies everybody.
29:03I caught her trying to flirt with him.
29:05Anyway, as for Carl Webster,
29:07I could pick him like a cherry.
29:09Yeah, I reckon I could.
29:11You can have him.
29:12You can have him.
29:13Don't want him.
29:14I don't want him.
29:16Anyway, have you been in touch with Beth?
29:19Yeah.
29:19She won't stop sobbing down the phone.
29:21Oh, I know.
29:22Ches found Kirk sobbing on the red belt like a little baby.
29:27Just clear this up.
29:28So, Dylan was in Brodie's face?
29:31That's what it looked like.
29:33You sure it wasn't the other way around?
29:35Well, which way around do you prefer?
29:41He wasn't best happy, was he?
29:43No.
29:43I think he's been through a lot.
29:45Did his wife have a clue?
29:47I don't know the ins and outs,
29:49but I know he's got kids of his own.
29:51Imagine my dad came out.
29:53You know, I think he'd run with it.
29:55And I'd buy a whole new wardrobe and everything.
29:56So, we're just being friendly.
30:00Someone knows the situation.
30:02The situation being what?
30:04Well, this is new to you,
30:06that two months ago you were playing snooker with the lads
30:09and rating page three girls out of ten.
30:11I'd still play snooker.
30:13Play snooker all you like.
30:14I can't play snooker.
30:16Some of my best friends play snooker.
30:17I play snooker, well, Paul.
30:20I'll double-check the terms and conditions,
30:21but I'm pretty sure it's allowed.
30:23When do I get a copy of this blinking manual?
30:26It should be in the post.
30:30So, you haven't said anything yet, then,
30:33to the lads at work?
30:35Oh, are you?
30:36Gather round, lads.
30:37I've got an announcement to make.
30:39No.
30:41I don't know why we're getting into this.
30:43It's not like we're going to walk into the builders' merchants
30:45holding hands.
30:46Hello?
30:57Yes, Paul?
30:58Who does the M.O.T.'s in this place?
31:00Why?
31:01I bought a motor off a woman the other day.
31:03That was my first mistake.
31:05Fiona Morley.
31:06Name ring a bell?
31:07No.
31:08It's a clown car.
31:12Yeah, I remember the car.
31:13So, what kind of racket are you running?
31:15Well, it sounds to me like your beef is with this Fiona woman.
31:17She won't return my calls.
31:193,800, it's set me back.
31:21How about I bring it in and you can reimburse me?
31:23No, it doesn't work like that.
31:24Let's call Fiona Morley from your phone.
31:25Mate, you need to do one.
31:27I'll read you the number and we'll see if she picks up.
31:30Feeling that?
31:31I'll report you.
31:45See?
31:47Don't really know her.
31:48Her name came up.
31:49I'm not stupid.
31:49I'll tell you what, mate.
31:50Leave your number with me and I'll call you if she gets back to me.
31:52See if we can smooth this over.
31:54Hey, what's the latest on the curvemeister?
31:56Do you work here?
31:57Why?
31:58Quibbling.
31:58Over a job.
32:00I'll just come back later.
32:02Or, better still, don't come back at all.
32:04This isn't over.
32:06I'm on to you.
32:08What was all that about?
32:10Er, reckons Tyrone botched an alternator.
32:14I'll just move over.
32:15I've been looking for you.
32:20Well, here I am.
32:21You threatened him.
32:23Yeah, well, sometimes it works better.
32:26What, so you followed him into the...
32:28Will you look at me when I'm talking to you?
32:29Right, in future, just tell Glenda to mind her own business.
32:32Right?
32:34All of this is going to blow over.
32:36All of it.
32:37This horrible period of our lives.
32:38You're going to go back to college.
32:40You're going to catch up.
32:42But, Dylan, believe me.
32:44The last thing that we need
32:46is for you to get dragged back into any nonsense with that boy.
32:58So, were you about to have fisticuffs with that man?
33:01No, I think Carl was.
33:03But I didn't fancy his chances.
33:05Aw, little chap looked harmless.
33:07They're the worst.
33:09I don't think our Carl needs the stress.
33:12What's the letters on, Kevin?
33:12Yeah, he passed out.
33:15He's fine now.
33:16I've spoken to him.
33:17It was, um, an infection.
33:20I shouldn't have left him on his own.
33:22Passed out, you mean as in fainted?
33:24Yeah.
33:25Said he killed over like a sack of spuds.
33:27Well done.
33:30Oh, it's happy texting me.
33:32Don't tell anyone about Kay.
33:36Kiss, kiss.
33:37I wonder what that means.
33:40Kay will stand for Kevin.
33:43Oh, yeah.
33:44Yeah, thanks for that.
33:45He's probably embarrassed about it, that's all.
33:47Well, you best keep it under your hat, then.
33:50I'll keep it in my back pocket.
33:51Never mind me hat.
33:52Are you OK?
34:00I'm, um...
34:00I'm really worried about you.
34:03Yeah, you know, I thought you'd come to apologise.
34:08Yeah, I, um...
34:09I shouldn't have snapped at you like that in the shop.
34:11You know, you look like you've got something else going on in your mind.
34:15Hmm?
34:16Sorry.
34:18If I hurt you.
34:21Let's not get into any of that.
34:22It's humiliating as it is.
34:25I've got some cause to make, anyway.
34:27Is that Leanne, or the other one?
34:28It's work, if you must know.
34:29Don't throw yourself into another relationship.
34:33Are you for real?
34:35You ditch me and you rock up here telling me what to do.
34:38Who to see?
34:40And for your information, as I've told you before,
34:42Leanne and I are just friends.
34:44The woman from the hotel the other day is a business contact.
34:48Why am I having to explain myself to you?
34:53But you're OK.
34:55How's Ross?
34:57Oh.
34:58That's not what you think it is.
34:59Then what is it?
35:02Huh?
35:05Actually, I'll leave you to it.
35:07Oh, there she goes.
35:08As soon as there's a question she can't answer,
35:11she just takes off.
35:12You're seeing him, aren't you, this Ross fella?
35:16And you've got the nerve to lecture me about Leanne.
35:19This is a joke and not a funny one.
35:22Not that I'd kick Leanne out of bed,
35:25even if she asked me nicely!
35:30Fiona, just give the man his money back.
35:31Or replace that jalopy you palmed off on him.
35:34Yeah, I don't care.
35:39I was on my own today.
35:40I was lucky.
35:40I can't have it happening again.
35:42You understand?
35:43I've got to go.
35:44How's Ken?
35:45Look, come on.
35:46Look, we need to talk.
35:47About what happened.
35:48Didn't happen.
35:49Nearly happened.
35:50I don't want to talk about it.
35:52I think you should go back to Germany.
35:58You don't mean that.
36:00Not in your heart of ours.
36:01I do mean that.
36:02I know it makes us bad people.
36:04Excuses aside.
36:05There's no excuse.
36:06But this, between us, is too powerful.
36:10And I can't control it.
36:12Neither can I.
36:14All right.
36:16All right, bro.
36:17Nice dressing gown.
36:19Must be gutted to be sent home.
36:21All those nurses fluttering around you.
36:24Must have been one or two hotties.
36:26They're all diamonds.
36:28So what was it then?
36:29Beatlemania?
36:30I made that joke.
36:32It's an infection, but do us a favour.
36:34Don't tell anyone.
36:35Is your ego really that fragile?
36:37I'd rather not be the talk of the rovers.
36:39It's all right.
36:44Fainted?
36:45Yeah, don't mention it to anyone.
36:46He's self-conscious about it.
36:48Ugh, you men.
36:49I wouldn't be embarrassed.
36:51No, I mean, you've just sat here for the last 20 minutes
36:54bragging about how you nearly beat up some bloke in the garage this afternoon.
36:57That was nothing.
36:58So go on then, you didn't say how it was resolved.
37:01Well, I said you could either leave on your own accord
37:03or I will pick you up and toss you out onto the robe.
37:07And what was Carl doing all this time?
37:08Trembling.
37:10Why was he a big bloke?
37:11You massive.
37:13Oh, you'll be flexing your muscles at me next.
37:14Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
37:16If you pay your cards right, maybe.
37:17Er, you bite me hand off, mate.
37:19I don't see if.
37:19So go on then.
37:22If you could take your pick, now you're free and single.
37:25Well, any woman in the world.
37:27That's tricky.
37:29Well, it'd be Debbie Webster.
37:32Hey, listen.
37:32People don't turn bad overnight.
37:36Yeah, but that's the point.
37:37It wasn't overnight.
37:38It's been this past year.
37:39I mean, this past few months especially.
37:42They're supposed to send young lads into that place
37:45to straighten them out, so to speak.
37:46Well, they send them in there because they're seen as a danger to society.
37:50Yes, but he wasn't.
37:52He was only carrying that knife to defend himself.
37:55But what if he's a danger to society now?
37:57What if he goes completely off the rails
37:59and there's nothing I can do to stop him?
38:05Where did you get the recipe?
38:07I got it from one of your cookbooks.
38:09We were missing a couple of ingredients I had to improvise.
38:12It was nice.
38:17Look, I said I'm sorry.
38:19I was made to feel stupid.
38:21You didn't look stupid.
38:22Well, I felt stupid.
38:24She must have thought we'd never even discussed it.
38:26She didn't think that.
38:28You didn't miss a beat.
38:30I was one that screwed up.
38:34What else do you want me to say?
38:36I hate it with women like this.
38:40I was upset.
38:43Maybe it's more to do with me than you.
38:49Maybe I'm just frightened.
38:51Listen, I'll get this.
38:56No, I said it was on me.
38:57I feel like I've been a bit difficult this evening.
39:00Like I said, that's understandable.
39:03No one's in any big rush.
39:06I am.
39:08Don't want you to think I'm too much effort.
39:10I don't think that.
39:13It's supposed to be fun.
39:15It will be.
39:16I promise you.
39:21Maybe I'm your exit strategy.
39:23You might bid me off as soon as the red code breaks.
39:25No.
39:27Listen.
39:30I'm in this for good.
39:31They were nice, weren't they?
39:42Jeremy and Shanice.
39:44Yeah.
39:46All kids are nice, aren't they, at heart?
39:49And sometimes you've got to chip away at a layer or two,
39:51but underneath it, they're all all right.
39:55What, even the naughty ones?
39:56Yeah.
39:58Especially the naughty ones.
39:59They just want a bit of attention, don't they?
40:03Somebody to hang out with.
40:05Acknowledge they exist.
40:08I suppose that's what we're all after, really, isn't it?
40:11Just someone to acknowledge we exist.
40:17Especially at that age.
40:19So they don't lose all hope.
40:23Did you lose all hope when you were young?
40:29You know, I wouldn't have made a good job of it back then,
40:34not with Faye.
40:35That'd have been a nightmare.
40:37But you did a good job of it.
40:39Me and Kevin, we just muddled through.
40:42You're being modest now.
40:45Anybody would love to have you as their mother,
40:47even for a month or two.
40:48I enjoyed having loose girls around, circumstances aside.
40:56It's like old times.
40:59Well, they responded to you, didn't they,
41:01when you got them up in the morning and made them breakfast?
41:03Maybe they were just grateful to feel,
41:07I don't know, cared for.
41:12Maybe it's not too late.
41:14What?
41:21When?
41:22Next year.
41:23Possibly the year after.
41:24Both of you?
41:25Well, I've always loved Thai food.
41:28What about the business?
41:29Ah, now that requires a longer conversation.
41:31If only I knew a willing and accomplished successor.
41:35Me?
41:35Run the Undertaker's?
41:37Long, long term.
41:40Is Mum definitely on board with you?
41:41Yeah, why?
41:42All guns blazing.
41:43So you go in there on holiday tomorrow?
41:45Tomorrow.
41:46What did Mum say about that?
41:47She'll cope.
41:49Well, suck it and see, I suppose.
41:51Well, absolutely, that's the idea.
41:53Right, your mum's still at work,
41:54so I'm going to go upstairs in pack.
41:56So, Wangai, Wangai, here we come.
41:59That means green curry, Theo.
42:01Wangai, Wangai.
42:05Love's not so young dream, eh?
42:07He doesn't want to move to Thailand,
42:09not next year or the year after that.
42:11Impulsive George.
42:12Like that monkey.
42:14Bigfoot.
42:15No, curious George.
42:17Cartoon character.
42:19No, it's a man with a yellow hat, no?
42:21No, I used to read it to my two.
42:24Yeah, you used to read it to...
42:26Yeah.
42:27Well, what's wrong with that?
42:29Nothing, it's just...
42:30sweet.
42:31That's Jason.
42:40Is my dad here?
42:43Mills!
42:44Please come in.
42:45I'm not living with her.
42:46You don't have to wedge me in.
42:51And I'm going to run you a bubble bath in a minute.
42:54Did you take the first two tablets?
42:56You've just seen me do it.
42:57We're going to knock this infection into touch.
43:00What was you and Carl fretting over?
43:03What?
43:04When I come downstairs.
43:07You?
43:09Sounds like he managed this afternoon.
43:12It's good to have someone of trust over there.
43:14Oh, right as opposed to me and Tyrone?
43:16Family.
43:17Yeah, well, it depends how long you're staying.
43:22Fair to say with our car.
43:25He could take off any time.
43:27Wouldn't surprise me.
43:29He takes after me dad in that respect.
43:31Turn around and be gone.
43:33Just when everyone's got used to having him around.
43:40The boys would miss him.
43:42Probably a fraulein he scampers off back to.
43:45He's never been short in that department.
43:49According to him.
43:51Still, time will tell.
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44:05face tough questions from our panel of autistic interviewers
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44:27The này of theating
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44:42do ya