Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
pvault
  • 6/2/2025
Films in Public Domain
Transcript
00:00:00The End
00:00:30The End
00:01:00Your fate is written in the heavens.
00:01:08You cannot escape your destiny.
00:01:10Your guiding planet rules your life.
00:01:13It is our privilege to present a celebrated scientist who will explain astrology in its true life.
00:01:18Professor S. Zoharaburikis.
00:01:20Hello, Larry's and gentle people.
00:01:23This is the astromeological sun.
00:01:25Twelve divisions.
00:01:27Glory, Dace has got September, April, June in Kentucky.
00:01:30All the rest, I'm going to be sure, except Chicago used to go to the World's Fair.
00:01:34Ah, so this is Ari.
00:01:37Saggy trousers.
00:01:38Bourbon's greatest master poos.
00:01:41Noro.
00:01:42That's the fool that won't take a move for a answer.
00:01:45Round and round she goes.
00:01:46Where she stops, nobody cares.
00:02:00Ah, how do you like that?
00:02:04There sits King Taurus, the moon-kissed bull.
00:02:08When the moon shines, he is public boss number one.
00:02:15Bull meets crab.
00:02:17Crab meat's good too on the bull plate launch.
00:02:19Thirty-five cents.
00:02:21Delicious.
00:02:23Ah, no more crab meat.
00:02:25Holy boor.
00:02:27Oh-oh.
00:02:40No moonshine?
00:02:46Taurus is very unhappy.
00:02:49Saggy trousers are going to horse around a little bit.
00:02:52William Pell is going to hit him right in the Zodiac.
00:03:07Nothing to star out of Taurus.
00:03:27So long, Spurs.
00:03:28He's been out 42 minutes.
00:03:42That breaks his own record.
00:03:43Maybe he's kicked in.
00:03:44Well, we'll give him five minutes more.
00:03:46Then we'll hold a post-mortem.
00:03:48Firewall.
00:03:49Forget it.
00:03:50Mars is unfavorable.
00:03:54Virgo passes the moon.
00:03:57He ain't dead, he's nuts.
00:03:58That's astrology.
00:04:00He's beefing about it all the time.
00:04:01Well, I ain't got time for riddles.
00:04:03I got another thousand.
00:04:04Come on, stupid.
00:04:06Snap out of it.
00:04:07Taurus must not be defeated.
00:04:10All right, show it.
00:04:12Take it easy.
00:04:14Oh, oh.
00:04:17Hello.
00:04:18Good morning.
00:04:18Did I win?
00:04:20Yeah.
00:04:22You'll find first prize right on your eyes.
00:04:24Don't worry.
00:04:24You fixed him so he can't fight for two months.
00:04:27Did I?
00:04:28Sure.
00:04:28He broke four of these knuckles on your jaw.
00:04:32My mistake was fighting with the moon in the wrong position.
00:04:35Your mistake was in fighting Gas House Hogan.
00:04:39Well, I to one of Taurus had been in conjunction.
00:04:42Who's Taurus?
00:04:44Well, that's the planet that rules my destiny.
00:04:46You see?
00:04:47I'm studying astrology.
00:04:48Well, you've seen enough stars tonight.
00:04:51That's why I've been fighting.
00:04:52So I can pick up enough extra money to finish my course.
00:04:54You mean you've been taking all these meetings to study stars?
00:04:57Yeah.
00:04:58And it's been worth it.
00:05:00Tonight's money will make me a D.A.
00:05:02District Attorney?
00:05:05No.
00:05:06Doctor of astrology.
00:05:08You're screwy.
00:05:10Hello, boys.
00:05:11Well, I've got a little bad news for you.
00:05:13You mean the Constellation is against me?
00:05:15No, just the commission.
00:05:16They've held up your purse.
00:05:18What?
00:05:18What?
00:05:19They ruled no contest.
00:05:20Sorry, boys.
00:05:21No dough.
00:05:23Wait a minute.
00:05:23Wait a minute.
00:05:23This...
00:05:24They can't do that to me.
00:05:26I'll tell them.
00:05:27It'll be quite a surprise.
00:05:29Hey.
00:05:34Well, boys, I...
00:05:35I guess the joke is on us.
00:05:37What are you going to do now, Torres?
00:05:39Oh, I don't know.
00:05:40Can't you think of something?
00:05:41No.
00:05:42Maybe he can.
00:05:45Hey, wait a minute.
00:05:46Hello, Mr. Bitterby.
00:05:57Thanks, Mr. Hoppenpepper, for opening up for me.
00:05:59I was expecting you.
00:06:01I got the round steak ready.
00:06:03Yeah, well, trim the edges.
00:06:04The last one was kind of grisly.
00:06:06Six, five, six steaks.
00:06:08I can cut them now without measuring them.
00:06:11Well, I'll be a regular customer of yours as long as my eye holds out.
00:06:14You know, I got some that boil them and some that pie them.
00:06:17But you are the only one that wear them.
00:06:20Thanks.
00:06:21Someday my planet will be an ascendancy.
00:06:25Then I'll wear tenderloin.
00:06:27Good night.
00:06:29Auf Wiedersehen.
00:06:42Nice doggie.
00:06:44Good doggie.
00:06:45Go home.
00:06:46Go home.
00:06:50Look.
00:06:51I'm going calling and the Bascoms don't like dogs.
00:06:55I'm going to have trouble enough explaining this eye.
00:06:58Look, Buster.
00:06:59Er, Towser.
00:07:00Er, Queenie.
00:07:02Zodi.
00:07:03Zodiac.
00:07:04Look.
00:07:04Here.
00:07:05Here.
00:07:06Come on.
00:07:08Cats.
00:07:09Now go get them.
00:07:09Go get them.
00:07:10Go get them.
00:07:10Go get them.
00:07:12Do you mind that I can't even hear?
00:07:23I'm expecting you many minutes, Mother.
00:07:25Well, if it's anything like your father, you can go on, expect it.
00:07:28If it's anything like your father, I'd call the whole thing off.
00:07:30That'll do, Marthy. Go on counting.
00:07:33Yes, ma'am.
00:07:34One, two, three, four, five.
00:07:37Drop that counting aloud.
00:07:38I've told you a hundred times.
00:07:40Yes, ma'am.
00:07:41A hundred and one, a hundred and two, a hundred and three.
00:07:46Now you've done it all over again.
00:07:49Annie, where are you?
00:07:52Where is everybody?
00:07:53Coming, Henry.
00:07:55I hope you train Dustin not to scream for you.
00:07:58Was one of your minds telling me where you've hidden my epilets?
00:08:02Henry Bascom, you're not going out in that ridiculous getup.
00:08:06It's hard enough to live down Bascom's plumbing.
00:08:08I've been a member of the Pie-Eyed Pipers for 30 years,
00:08:12and I'm not giving it up just because you've got snooty ideas.
00:08:15They're not snooty.
00:08:16They're smart.
00:08:16Oh, you're smart, huh?
00:08:18Yes.
00:08:19Well, if you're so darn smart.
00:08:21Find my epilets.
00:08:28Look, I'm going in here.
00:08:30Will you please scram?
00:08:33Scram.
00:08:40A hundred and six, a hundred and seven.
00:08:43Where are you going to hold this wedding?
00:08:44In the stadium?
00:08:46In the by-the-way chapel.
00:08:47Oh, isn't it wonderful, Martha?
00:08:49If you get them in, it's a miracle.
00:08:51Say, the doorbell, Martha.
00:08:52I hear it.
00:08:53Well, answer it.
00:08:54Get up, Martha.
00:08:55It's got it.
00:08:56Oh, so that's what you want.
00:08:59Well, why didn't you say so here?
00:09:09Hello, Marcy.
00:09:10When you come in a house, you certainly don't mess with it.
00:09:13Well, I couldn't help it.
00:09:14I picked up a dog.
00:09:15Where'd you pick up the black eye?
00:09:17Oh, Taurus is against me.
00:09:20No, he's certainly connected.
00:09:21Do you think they'll notice it?
00:09:23Not if you hold your hat over it.
00:09:25What's that?
00:09:27That's a Zodiac.
00:09:29He's scratching to come in.
00:09:30Well, whatever he does, I'll be blamed for it.
00:09:32Go home.
00:09:35Go home.
00:09:36Zodiac.
00:09:38Go home.
00:09:43Well, folks, here I am.
00:09:45It's about time.
00:09:46Justin, darling.
00:09:47Why, what happened to your eyes?
00:09:53Oh, just forgetfulness.
00:09:56Forgetfulness?
00:09:57I forgot to look.
00:09:59It's a werewolf.
00:10:03That's only Zodiac, Mrs. Bascom.
00:10:05I'll get him.
00:10:06Oh, Mother.
00:10:07Oh, I'll go away for me.
00:10:13Go away for me.
00:10:14Go away.
00:10:15Here, Zodiac, here.
00:10:17Here, take him away.
00:10:17Here's I did.
00:10:18Oh, you're a nice thing.
00:10:19Somebody help.
00:10:20Take him away.
00:10:21Take him away.
00:10:21Is that a scary?
00:10:22Oh, Dustin.
00:10:25Oh, that's all.
00:10:25There's Zodiac.
00:10:26Oh, she just wants to play.
00:10:28Take him away.
00:10:29Take him away.
00:10:31What's going on in here?
00:10:33I'm way down there.
00:10:34I'm being attacked.
00:10:37Please, you've got me gusted.
00:10:40What is this?
00:10:41I think it's sort of a mixed breed.
00:10:44I don't care if it's vegetable or mineral.
00:10:46How did he get in here?
00:10:47Through the window.
00:10:49That's the way he's going out.
00:10:50Oh, wait.
00:10:51Mr. Bascom.
00:10:52Wait, Mr. Bascom.
00:10:53That's only Zodiac.
00:10:55He took a fancy to me.
00:10:56Well, he can take his fancy somewhere else.
00:10:58Now, if you're through playing, maybe I can get started.
00:11:05Where are you going?
00:11:06Yachting?
00:11:08Yachting.
00:11:10Dustin, darling.
00:11:11Yes.
00:11:11Look at our invitations.
00:11:13Aren't they wonderful?
00:11:15Oh, dear.
00:11:16This is terrible.
00:11:18What do you mean?
00:11:18It says June 1st.
00:11:20Of course.
00:11:20That's the date we agreed on.
00:11:22Yes, I know.
00:11:23But I didn't know then what I know now.
00:11:25What is he talking about?
00:11:27You see, I'm a bull.
00:11:28Oh, what?
00:11:29I'm a bull and you're a scorpion.
00:11:31Dustin.
00:11:32And your mother's a crab and your father is a goat.
00:11:38That's Tickenham.
00:11:39Harry Bascom, are you going to let him insult the family?
00:11:43Let him go on.
00:11:44Let him go on.
00:11:46But that's not an insult.
00:11:47It's astrology.
00:11:49Look, I'll explain it to you.
00:11:50Oh, mama, picture.
00:12:08He smashed it.
00:12:09There is some good in astrology.
00:12:12The planets are against today.
00:12:13I should have stayed in bed.
00:12:15Don't worry.
00:12:16You're right for it.
00:12:17Justin, what is all this foolishness?
00:12:20Well, that's Taurus and that's Scorpio.
00:12:23You can't join them in June.
00:12:25Oh, rubbish.
00:12:26It's not rubbish.
00:12:26Science.
00:12:27Now, in July, it's different.
00:12:29I won't be married in July.
00:12:31It's unfashionable and out of the question.
00:12:33But I'm thinking of our children.
00:12:35If we marry in June, our first child will be a Pisces.
00:12:40A what?
00:12:42Fish.
00:12:43Any child of yours would have that tendency.
00:12:46Are you going to marry my daughter or are you?
00:12:49Sure, I'll marry Diane in July.
00:12:52Then there won't be any wedding.
00:12:53Are you going to let this silly astrology appear with Diane's happiness?
00:12:57It's not silly.
00:12:58It's my life's work.
00:13:00What about your job at the bank?
00:13:02Well, I...
00:13:03Oh, well, I forgot to tell you.
00:13:06I lost that yesterday.
00:13:08What?
00:13:08What?
00:13:08You lost your job?
00:13:09Well, to what I'm Dr. Willoughby, the famous astrologer, you'll all be sorry.
00:13:14Henry, throw it out before I paint.
00:13:17Leave this house before I lose my temper.
00:13:21I'll tell you limb from limb.
00:13:22Oh, take him off.
00:13:24He's ruining me.
00:13:25Take him off.
00:13:25Take him off.
00:13:26Don't blame Zodiac, Mr. Bascom.
00:13:29I guess he's an Aquarius.
00:13:33Hey, wait.
00:13:34Mr. Bascom, wait a minute.
00:13:35You...
00:13:36Wait, Mr. Bascom, he likes you.
00:13:38Wait.
00:13:38Help!
00:13:48Help!
00:13:49Help!
00:13:49Oh!
00:13:52Oh!
00:13:53Oof.
00:14:09Shame.
00:14:11Shame.
00:14:15Well, Zodiac, I guess it's just you and me and the moon against the world.
00:14:23Oh.
00:14:27Oh.
00:14:31Oh.
00:14:33Oh.
00:14:53Oh.
00:14:57Oh.
00:14:59Your partner.
00:15:01I should have stayed in bed today.
00:15:03First boy.
00:15:05Someday I murder you.
00:15:08Yes sir.
00:15:09Oh.
00:15:12Oh.
00:15:14Oh.
00:15:16Everything happens to me.
00:15:17I break you in big pieces.
00:15:19Woo.
00:15:21Oh.
00:15:23Oh.
00:15:25Oh.
00:15:27Oh.
00:15:29Oh.
00:15:31Oh.
00:15:33Oh.
00:15:35Oh.
00:15:37Oh.
00:15:39Oh.
00:15:41Oh.
00:15:43Oh.
00:15:47Get your day with me.
00:15:48It's so glad you get me.
00:15:49Are table ready Acropolis?
00:15:50Everything's yours, Mr. Regan.
00:15:52This way please.
00:15:53Come on, girls.
00:15:54Come on.
00:15:55Come on.
00:15:57Come on.
00:15:58Come on.
00:16:00Come on.
00:16:02Come on.
00:16:04Come on.
00:16:06Come on.
00:16:08Come on.
00:16:10Come on.
00:16:11Sit down, judge.
00:16:12It's your party.
00:16:13It's nice for you to do this, Regan.
00:16:14Why, it's a pleasure and a privilege.
00:16:15Is everything ready?
00:16:16Champagne, she's a knife.
00:16:17I'd bring a big shit.
00:16:19Well, maybe a party will change my luck.
00:16:22They've been running against you?
00:16:23Terrible.
00:16:24This horse breaks a leg.
00:16:25This spider breaks a myth.
00:16:26Then Lazy Lou gets fleas.
00:16:27Lazy Lou?
00:16:28Yes, and it's all great tonight.
00:16:29I had a granite.
00:16:30They're all set to collect.
00:16:31Ha.
00:16:32Then she gets fleas and strains a ligament scratching them.
00:16:34No.
00:16:35No laugh.
00:16:36Everything I touch is jinxed.
00:16:37I can't break it.
00:16:44Complements of the ostrich.
00:16:50Complements.
00:16:51My friend.
00:16:53There's the one.
00:16:54It meets you.
00:16:55Don't stand there.
00:16:57Do something.
00:16:58Oh.
00:17:00There must be something wrong with your planets.
00:17:03They might doubt it.
00:17:06Make a way to judge and blow them all out.
00:17:08There.
00:17:11Well, here goes.
00:17:17Pardon me.
00:17:18Is it.
00:17:19Is it your birthday?
00:17:20It is my boy.
00:17:25It's too bad.
00:17:26What are you talking about?
00:17:27What's that?
00:17:28Well.
00:17:29Mars being in conjunction with Saturn tonight.
00:17:31The moon is adverse.
00:17:32Should I clunk him?
00:17:33Sit down.
00:17:34What the devil are you talking about?
00:17:36Well.
00:17:37You should have stayed in bed tonight.
00:17:39I said.
00:17:40Are you a psychologist?
00:17:41Yes sir.
00:17:42I'm an astrologist.
00:17:43Don't crack white at Boston.
00:17:44I'm not cracking.
00:17:45I'm just warning the judge.
00:17:47Warning me of what?
00:17:49Well.
00:17:50Something is liable to happen to you tonight.
00:17:52Oh.
00:17:53Stop enough.
00:17:54I don't believe in that rock.
00:17:56Ha ha.
00:17:57Help.
00:17:59That's just what I was afraid of.
00:18:01You can't fool around with the planets.
00:18:03Get some water.
00:18:04Quick.
00:18:05Yes sir.
00:18:06But I don't think it'll grow.
00:18:10What are you doing?
00:18:11Go away for me.
00:18:12Yes sir.
00:18:13What happened?
00:18:14You got clunked with a lot of geranium.
00:18:16The boy said it would happen.
00:18:18He caused it.
00:18:19He wished it on me.
00:18:20No sir.
00:18:21I don't cause things.
00:18:22I merely forecast.
00:18:23Will you go away for me?
00:18:25Yes sir.
00:18:26Wait a minute son.
00:18:27Maybe you can forecast who's gonna win the third race tonight.
00:18:30Well who's running?
00:18:32Five dogs.
00:18:33Well I'd have to know their birthdays.
00:18:35Lazy Lou was born on April Fool's Day.
00:18:37Heh.
00:18:38I lost a hundred betting on the litter.
00:18:41Aries passes the nadir.
00:18:43Moon squares Mars.
00:18:45Eight, four, two, and even.
00:18:49What's he doing?
00:18:50Making book?
00:18:51Shut up.
00:18:52Lazy Lou vibrates to seven and eleven.
00:18:54Who don't?
00:18:55You mean she can win?
00:18:56Her planets are favorable.
00:18:58How about her fleas?
00:18:59Well.
00:19:00When were they born?
00:19:02You're not paying any attention to that crackpot.
00:19:06A hunch is a hunch.
00:19:08Find out if Lou's running.
00:19:09Put a hundred on her nose.
00:19:10Okay.
00:19:11I'll take a pin in it myself.
00:19:12And brother, you better be right.
00:19:14I'd stake my life on it.
00:19:16It's just what you're doing.
00:19:17Why do you stand around here?
00:19:22Why don't you join the party?
00:19:24Well.
00:19:25All right, if you say so, Mr. Acropolis.
00:19:31The early tables.
00:19:32Yes, sir.
00:19:33Wait a minute, Acropolis.
00:19:36You got a little radio you could put on the table?
00:19:39Sure.
00:19:40Okay.
00:19:41Make a snap.
00:19:42Immediately.
00:19:44Hey, Zodiac.
00:19:46I got your dinner for you.
00:19:48Yeah, there you are.
00:19:50Sorry, sirloin steak is the best I could get.
00:19:56Ah, wait a minute.
00:19:58Ooh.
00:19:59Where's your manner?
00:20:05I'll have to take the coat back.
00:20:06The gentleman may be leaving.
00:20:10All set for the third at Westmoreland.
00:20:12The dog's with the barrier.
00:20:14Lazy Lou's pretty well taped up, but she's running.
00:20:17Did you get that door down?
00:20:19On the beak at 20 to 1.
00:20:20The rabbit's circling the track.
00:20:22It passes the barrier.
00:20:24They're off.
00:20:25Look at those babies go.
00:20:29Alice Bean, Acropolis second.
00:20:31The other's bunched.
00:20:32Where's Lazy Lou?
00:20:33They're stretching out at the turn.
00:20:34Lazy Lou takes a sudden spurt in front.
00:20:37Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:20:39Something's happened.
00:20:40Lazy Lou suddenly stopped running
00:20:42and sat down to stretch.
00:20:44Well, you're just a little...
00:20:46The other dogs have piled up on top.
00:20:48We're in a jumble.
00:20:49We can't see what's happening.
00:20:51Wait till I get my mitts on.
00:20:56Hold on, hold on, Amy.
00:20:58Lazy Lou's up and running along.
00:21:00Now the other's are stretching.
00:21:04Stop and running again.
00:21:05Lazy Lou well out in front.
00:21:06I don't see how they can catch her now.
00:21:09Come on, baby.
00:21:10Come on, baby.
00:21:11There is a stretch.
00:21:12Alice Bean making a grand try.
00:21:14But it's no use.
00:21:15No use.
00:21:16Lazy Lou crosses the wire alone.
00:21:19And sits down to stretch.
00:21:22How do you like it?
00:21:23How do you like it?
00:21:24And it works.
00:21:25Yeah.
00:21:26It's my ambition.
00:21:27To audition.
00:21:28For a swell radio pro.
00:21:31Find that butt boy.
00:21:32I'm going to wear him around my neck like a charm.
00:21:33Okay, boss.
00:21:34I love you.
00:21:35From cold to cold.
00:21:37It's not the money.
00:21:39Hey, you.
00:21:41And I keep thinking of hope.
00:21:43Stop.
00:21:44Stop.
00:21:45Stop, man.
00:21:46Stop him!
00:21:56Hold it.
00:22:00Get out.
00:22:01I said hi.
00:22:02I'll let youैas my Gabrielle.
00:22:03See howard he asks.
00:22:04Then I gotst
00:22:11I'm sorry, girl.
00:22:41Pardon me, girlie.
00:23:04Did you see anything of a busboy around here?
00:23:07But no, until now, speak French.
00:23:12Yes, yes.
00:23:17Yes, yes.
00:23:22Where are you?
00:23:34Yes, yes.
00:23:46Look, it's a man.
00:23:58Look, it's a man.
00:24:11Get out of here.
00:24:15Hey, wait a minute.
00:24:21We can watch you.
00:24:24Good job.
00:24:45Your past, present, and future for 25 cents.
00:24:55See the swarmy and know all.
00:24:57What good are these when we come to swarmy?
00:24:59I'll find one.
00:25:00You can't now, Larry Burke.
00:25:02Good morning.
00:25:03Advertising is a pulse of trade.
00:25:05You can't live without it.
00:25:06Could I speak to you?
00:25:07Why would Napoleon have landed if one little setback had got him down?
00:25:10I can answer that one.
00:25:11Man must come out at difficulties.
00:25:13Rise above them.
00:25:14Wait a minute, wait a minute.
00:25:15I'll help you rise if you'll just stand still.
00:25:18How'd you get in, brother?
00:25:19Well, the door was open and...
00:25:21It swings both ways.
00:25:22Goodbye.
00:25:23Goodbye.
00:25:24Goodbye.
00:25:25Oh, wait a minute.
00:25:28Did you come in and answer to the ad?
00:25:30Yes, ma'am.
00:25:31I...
00:25:32I hope I'm not too late for the job.
00:25:33You're about ten years early.
00:25:34I'm looking for a man with whiskers and dignity.
00:25:36Whiskers?
00:25:37Well, I...
00:25:38I could raise a beard.
00:25:40What are we supposed to do?
00:25:41Sit around here and watch it grow?
00:25:42No, sir.
00:25:43I...
00:25:44I'll take care of that myself.
00:25:45You won't do, brother.
00:25:46Scram!
00:25:47Larry, why don't you give him a chance?
00:25:49He looks kind of hungry.
00:25:50A hungry fortune teller's no ad for this joint.
00:25:52Come around in about 20 years when you've got a beard.
00:25:54Yeah, but will you be here then?
00:25:58Five.
00:26:01One job I could do and...
00:26:03I've got to have whiskers.
00:26:05Come on, Zodiac.
00:26:06Come on.
00:26:12Whiskers.
00:26:28Come on, Jerry.
00:26:29Let's put on the feedback.
00:26:43You go ahead.
00:26:44I'll have my lunch later.
00:26:45Why won't you go with me?
00:26:47I never eat for the boss.
00:26:48It's bad for the digestion.
00:26:49I haven't enough trouble.
00:26:50You have to sign me down.
00:26:51Your troubles are over, my friend.
00:26:52I am here.
00:26:53Is that on the level?
00:26:54Do see before Professor the Great.
00:26:55Sees all knows all.
00:26:56You mean you're a fortune teller?
00:26:57I live in the planets.
00:26:58I live in the planets.
00:26:59I live in the planets.
00:27:00I converse with the satellites.
00:27:01I don't care about your own life.
00:27:02It's that alfalfa that sold you to me.
00:27:03You mean...
00:27:04You mean I'm engaged?
00:27:05Brother, you're the answer to a barker's prayer.
00:27:06Meet my assistant, Miss Jerry Grant.
00:27:07How do you do?
00:27:08Delighted.
00:27:09Delighted.
00:27:10What's your racket, Professor?
00:27:11Cards or palms?
00:27:12I prophesy by horoscope from the zodiac.
00:27:13Well, every man to his own line.
00:27:14Now, what do you do?
00:27:15You see before Professor the Great.
00:27:16Sees all knows all.
00:27:17You mean you're a fortune teller?
00:27:18I live in the planets.
00:27:19I converse with the satellites.
00:27:20I don't care about your own life.
00:27:21It's that alfalfa that sold you to me.
00:27:22You mean...
00:27:23You mean I'm engaged?
00:27:24Brother, you're the answer to a barker's prayer.
00:27:26Meet my assistant, Miss Jerry Grant.
00:27:27How do you do?
00:27:28Delighted.
00:27:30What's your racket, Professor?
00:27:33Cards or palms?
00:27:34I prophesy by horoscope from the zodiac.
00:27:37Well, every man to his own line.
00:27:39Now, what do you pay?
00:27:41You collect five cents out of every third quarter that comes in.
00:27:44Every third quarter?
00:27:46You're not robbing yourself, are you?
00:27:48Yes, but generosity is my crowning fault.
00:27:50Yes, but I'm a real astrologer with degrees.
00:27:52I'm...
00:27:53I'm a D.A.
00:27:54Shh.
00:27:55Don't ever mention D.A. around here.
00:27:58Now, you step this way, Professor.
00:27:59I'll find a road for you.
00:28:01Just a minute.
00:28:14So it's you again, huh?
00:28:16Ouch.
00:28:17Trying to slip a fast one over on Larry Bird.
00:28:19Well, you wanted the whiskers and I delivered them.
00:28:22Out, I...
00:28:23Now, wait a minute, Mr. Burton.
00:28:24Larry.
00:28:25Oh, I...
00:28:26Let him stay.
00:28:27What for?
00:28:28Anyone who can fool you deserves the chance.
00:28:31There's something in what you say.
00:28:33And in two weeks, we'll have the best paying concession on the pier.
00:28:36The moon is passing Saturn.
00:28:38Taurus is in the ascendancy.
00:28:40Swami, put her there.
00:28:42I think the boy's got something.
00:28:44Ha, ha.
00:28:45Oh!
00:28:46Ouch!
00:28:56Let your lucky days, dates and numbers, school and papers to marry.
00:29:00Don't proud folks, you'll all have a chance to visit Swami.
00:29:03Just now, he's taking a short rest to decompose himself.
00:29:05In the meantime, my friends...
00:29:07Oh, my goodness.
00:29:08What's the matter?
00:29:09I told Mrs. Winch she was going to have triplets in November.
00:29:12It's only going to be twins.
00:29:14You'll probably get a bonus from Mr. Winch.
00:29:16Yes, but I hate to make a sap out of Scorpio.
00:29:19You don't mind Larry making a sap out of you.
00:29:21Hmm?
00:29:22He's cleaning up on these horoscopes and you're not getting anything.
00:29:25Oh, you...
00:29:26You think I should ask for more money?
00:29:28Of course you should.
00:29:29I'll do it when the moon enters Sagittarius.
00:29:32You'll do it when Larry enters the room.
00:29:34Yes, but...
00:29:35But suppose he should fire us.
00:29:37Even Larry isn't in Santa Claus.
00:29:39Hey, they're going as well tonight, the youngsters are buying.
00:29:41Give me a happy dozen scorpions and a handful of libras.
00:29:44Here you are.
00:29:45Thanks, baby.
00:29:46How about you and me slipping out tonight while the professor's waking?
00:29:48I wouldn't advise him.
00:29:50Sagittarius indicates violence.
00:29:52What kind of violence?
00:29:53For instance, a punch in the nose.
00:29:55Now listen, you keep that kind of stargazing trite for the customers.
00:29:59What do you say, baby?
00:30:00Oh, I wouldn't dare go against the planets.
00:30:03Every time I try to make a date, one of your planets gets a stomachache.
00:30:10I'm getting sick of it.
00:30:11So are the planets.
00:30:13If we weren't doing such a good business, I can you.
00:30:16Oh, yes, and another thing.
00:30:18We're not satisfied.
00:30:19What do you mean, you're not satisfied?
00:30:21From now on, we get 50% of everything.
00:30:23What?
00:30:24Don't thank us.
00:30:25Generosity is our crowning fault.
00:30:27And I take care of the books and the cash.
00:30:29Wait a minute.
00:30:30You two can't run this choice.
00:30:31All right.
00:30:32Then we'll open up a planetarium of our own.
00:30:34Hold on now.
00:30:35Let's argue this.
00:30:36There's nothing to argue.
00:30:3750% or we quit.
00:30:39And you can part that, please.
00:30:41Okay, you win.
00:30:43But remember, no good luck ever came to Sizzlers.
00:30:46What's that?
00:30:48Did I advise anyone to shoot themselves?
00:30:51Lift them up.
00:30:53You two guys get away by the window.
00:30:55Stay where you are, sister.
00:30:56All right, Marty.
00:30:57Drop the gun and we'll let you have it.
00:30:58Go ahead.
00:30:59You'll have to shoot through the girl.
00:31:00You might as well give up.
00:31:01We've got you cornered.
00:31:02Yeah.
00:31:03Well, come and get me.
00:31:04Don't bother, officers.
00:31:05I'll do it.
00:31:06Stay where you are.
00:31:07I'll let you have it.
00:31:08Dustin, don't shoot.
00:31:09My aspects are perfect tonight.
00:31:11Nothing can hurt me.
00:31:12Okay, you ass for it.
00:31:13Dustin, be careful.
00:31:15Dustin!
00:31:16Dustin!
00:31:17Are you all right?
00:31:18What happened?
00:31:19You got clunked.
00:31:20I thought nothing could hurt you tonight.
00:31:21Well, something must have gone wrong.
00:31:24How's your head feel now?
00:31:25Swell.
00:31:26When you're holding him.
00:31:27Why did you do a crazy thing like that?
00:31:28Well, you were in danger and the moon was right.
00:31:31You were terribly brave.
00:31:32You were brave.
00:31:33You were brave.
00:31:34You were brave.
00:31:35You were brave.
00:31:36You were brave.
00:31:37Now I wasn't.
00:31:38I hate to take your room.
00:31:39I wouldn't let you stay in that shack.
00:31:40Yes, but where are you going to sleep?
00:31:41The landlady gave me a room down the hall.
00:31:42That's fine.
00:31:43I'm sure you're going to sleep.
00:31:44You were brave.
00:31:45You were brave.
00:31:46How did you do a crazy thing like that?
00:31:47How did you do a crazy thing like that?
00:31:48Well, you were in danger and the moon was right.
00:31:51You were terribly brave.
00:31:52Oh, shucks.
00:31:53Now I wasn't.
00:31:55I hate to take your room, though.
00:31:57Why wouldn't let you stay in that shack?
00:32:00Yes, but where are you going to sleep?
00:32:01The landlady gave me a room down the hall.
00:32:02That's fine.
00:32:04I don't know.
00:32:06That's fine. We'll have breakfast together.
00:32:10Coffee and donuts.
00:32:11Don't you mention donuts to me.
00:32:13Now put out your light and go to sleep.
00:32:16Okay.
00:32:16Good night.
00:32:17Good night.
00:32:20And Justin.
00:32:21Yeah?
00:32:22Here's something you dream about.
00:32:29Gosh.
00:32:36Oh, gosh.
00:32:51Zodiac.
00:32:53Gosh.
00:32:55Wait a minute.
00:32:56Wait a minute.
00:32:57I'm not the swami.
00:32:58I'm just barking for him.
00:32:59All right, Fido.
00:33:00Where is he?
00:33:01He had a little accident last night.
00:33:03He's probably in a trance.
00:33:04Maybe if we put you in one, you could get in touch with him.
00:33:07All right, boys.
00:33:07All right.
00:33:08Take it easy.
00:33:10Get a piece.
00:33:12What is it?
00:33:13That's either the swami or a bundle of wash.
00:33:16Good morning, Swain.
00:33:17And how are the stars today?
00:33:19They're smiling at me.
00:33:20Yeah?
00:33:21Well, laugh this one off.
00:33:22Don't give it a thought.
00:33:23You're only pinched.
00:33:24Pinched?
00:33:25What?
00:33:25Telling fortunes without a license.
00:33:27Fortunes?
00:33:27I wasn't telling fortunes.
00:33:29I read horoscopes.
00:33:30Yeah?
00:33:31Well, you can read the judge.
00:33:32If you get more than six months at the frame-up,
00:33:33I'd complain.
00:33:35Well, I know you had to have a license.
00:33:37But you did.
00:33:38Why didn't you tell him?
00:33:39Who am I to tell the master?
00:33:40Well, if you boys don't get any more.
00:33:42Good day.
00:33:43Hold it, wise guy.
00:33:44The joint's crunched and you go with it.
00:33:45Well, what do you want me for?
00:33:47About 30 days at a rough guess.
00:33:48What about her?
00:33:49Well, she don't belong here, officer.
00:33:51She's just a friend of mine.
00:33:53If you arrest him, you'll have to arrest me, too.
00:33:55I'm his assistant.
00:33:56Oh, don't believe her, officer.
00:33:57She's of no assistance at all.
00:33:59Look, you can make up your mind at headquarters.
00:34:01Don't worry, folks.
00:34:02I'll take this up to Senator Fush.
00:34:04Why be a pie picking up at the vice president?
00:34:06He isn't doing anything just now.
00:34:08Come on.
00:34:09Let's go.
00:34:09Listen, your honor.
00:34:12This is a case of office to the time.
00:34:14Stand over there and don't bother me.
00:34:16As a citizen borrowing his country, I demand it.
00:34:19You step up here.
00:34:21Don't worry.
00:34:23I'll get you out of it.
00:34:26Your honor, she had nothing to do with it.
00:34:29We'll get to her later.
00:34:31Where have I seen you before?
00:34:34Well, I was at the Army and Navy game.
00:34:36That simplifies it a lot.
00:34:38What happened to your head?
00:34:40Oh, Mars was in Taurus last night.
00:34:43I should have stayed in bed.
00:34:46What's that?
00:34:47I should have stayed in bed.
00:34:50That's it.
00:34:50That busboy from the Seaside Inn.
00:34:53Yes, sir.
00:34:54We met the night you got potted.
00:34:56Yeah, you...
00:34:57We'll continue this case in 15 minutes.
00:35:01Take them to my chambers.
00:35:03Right this way.
00:35:04You stay here.
00:35:05Gosh, if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be in this mess.
00:35:11I don't mind.
00:35:12As long as we're together.
00:35:14You mean...
00:35:15You mean you're not sore?
00:35:17Of course not, silly.
00:35:19Gee, you're swell.
00:35:21You're thought of swell yourself.
00:35:22Oh, God.
00:35:25Jerry, I want to ask you something.
00:35:28Yes, Dustin?
00:35:29If...
00:35:30If I do have to go to jail...
00:35:32Yes?
00:35:33Will you...
00:35:33Yes?
00:35:36But...
00:35:36Will you keep flea powder on Zodiac so he don't scratch?
00:35:42There he is.
00:35:42That's the boy.
00:35:44You're right.
00:35:44There couldn't be two faces like that.
00:35:47Son, I've been looking all over for you.
00:35:49What for?
00:35:50He's my lucky piece.
00:35:51Where I go, he goes.
00:35:53You mean we're both going to jail?
00:35:54No, no, we've overlooked the offense this time.
00:35:57Case dismissed.
00:35:57That's all, brother.
00:35:59I told you I'd get you this, son.
00:36:01Who is he?
00:36:02Boy, that's Mr. Burke.
00:36:03He barks.
00:36:04Yeah?
00:36:05One more yelp and he'll get six months.
00:36:07Just a minute, I'm the manager.
00:36:09You were.
00:36:10From now on, we're going to be like two goldfish in a bowl.
00:36:12Yes?
00:36:13Well, you'll have to add another goldfish.
00:36:16I won't go anyplace without Jerry.
00:36:18I see.
00:36:19I think we can take care of the little lady.
00:36:21Well, what about me?
00:36:22I've got a fortune invested in the swami.
00:36:24You got a contract?
00:36:25It's a gentleman's agreement.
00:36:27It's illegal.
00:36:28There's only one gentleman.
00:36:29Okay, I'll be in to shut you up.
00:36:31Come on, before anybody else horns in.
00:36:39Good morning, Miss Potts.
00:36:41Good morning, Mr. Willoughby.
00:36:44Oh, Mr. Willoughby.
00:36:45Yes?
00:36:46My boyfriend gave me the air last night.
00:36:48What should I do?
00:36:50Share it with everybody.
00:36:51It's entirely free.
00:36:53Come on, Zoliath.
00:36:57Good morning, Jerry.
00:36:58Good morning, Duff.
00:37:00It's after ten.
00:37:01Where have you been?
00:37:02I stopped at the hospital to read Mrs. Schultz's horoscope.
00:37:05What good will that do her?
00:37:07She broke one leg.
00:37:09No sense in her breaking the other.
00:37:11Mr. Regan wants you.
00:37:12He'll have to wait.
00:37:14Some fresh flowers.
00:37:16Thanks.
00:37:17Still lovely.
00:37:18Yeah, so are, I mean, don't mention it.
00:37:23It's nothing at all.
00:37:26Gosh.
00:37:26Hello, Justin.
00:37:41Good morning, Morris.
00:37:43You got those horses horoscopes?
00:37:45What race?
00:37:45The fifth at Pimlico.
00:37:47Fifth at Pimlico.
00:37:50Marshmouth first.
00:37:51Brown Derby second.
00:37:53There's a little doubt as to Sweet Marie's birthday.
00:37:55Where'll McGaugh score be, Sandy?
00:37:57Somewhere in the gay nineties.
00:37:59What should his mother-in-law do about her lumbago?
00:38:03Rub it.
00:38:05That'll be all for today, boys.
00:38:06Oh, no.
00:38:07No, no.
00:38:08You've got to go to Mrs. Carstairs' charity bazaar tonight.
00:38:10I've already attended six bazaars, two dinners, and a clam bag.
00:38:13Oh, no, this is different.
00:38:14Mrs. Carstairs is sponsoring the Newsboys' fight benefit.
00:38:17Friday night.
00:38:18Newsboys shouldn't fight on Friday.
00:38:20Not Newsboys.
00:38:21This is a big card.
00:38:22I'm bringing a fighter all the way from Salvador to meet the champion.
00:38:25But Jerry and I were going to see Mary of Scotland tonight.
00:38:28Do your visit in some other time.
00:38:30This is important.
00:38:31Get the ticket here for the Newsboys' fight benefit.
00:38:43And nothing here.
00:38:44And nothing here.
00:38:45Now watch carefully because the hand is quicker than the eye.
00:38:48Ace of spades.
00:38:48Look.
00:38:49Ace of spades, the card called for, and I thank you for your kind attention.
00:38:52And now, folks, who's next with the Swami?
00:38:54Remember, he sees all, knows all, and tells all.
00:38:57Step up, folks.
00:38:57Step up.
00:38:58It's only five yen a throw, and it all goes to the cause of sweet charity.
00:39:02Thank you, madam.
00:39:02Space you're offering inside of this little gold box, which is security locks, and cramping my style.
00:39:07Oh, Jerry.
00:39:10When do they eat?
00:39:11Shh.
00:39:12I can announce it.
00:39:13Will you have supper with me?
00:39:15I'm counting on it.
00:39:18Oh, isn't it beautiful, Mother?
00:39:20Oh, it's wonderful.
00:39:22Stop playing with your feet, Henry, and let us enjoy ourselves.
00:39:25How can I enjoy myself when my shoes hurt?
00:39:28It costs us $60 to get in here, and you're going to enjoy it if you have to wear horseshoes.
00:39:35Come on, Mother.
00:39:36Let's wander around.
00:39:37I'm way over to the bar, where I can sit down.
00:39:39Fix your tie, Henry.
00:39:41And be careful what you see.
00:39:42Oh, don't worry about me.
00:39:44I've been out before.
00:39:45Yes, and I've been with you.
00:39:46That's why I'm worried.
00:39:48There.
00:39:53Tickets for the fight or getting a good play?
00:39:55When does his halvador slayer show up?
00:39:56Worked out two days before the fight.
00:39:58But when does he train?
00:39:59Been trained in Salvador for three months.
00:40:01Has he got a chance?
00:40:03We'll know that when Dustin casts his horoscope.
00:40:06Tickets for the fight?
00:40:08Good evening, gentlemen.
00:40:11My name is Baskin.
00:40:12That rounds out a well-turned evening.
00:40:14You've probably heard of my plumbing.
00:40:16We'll get a monkey rinse someday and go into it.
00:40:19What do you say to a bottle of wine?
00:40:20I never bandy words with it.
00:40:22Hey, boy, a bottle of wine.
00:40:23Have it cold.
00:40:24Yes, sir.
00:40:25I got to see Carstairs.
00:40:26Pay for the drinks and bring me the change.
00:40:29Right.
00:40:30Shall I pour it, sir?
00:40:32What did you expect it to do?
00:40:33Sweat itself out?
00:40:35Very good, sir.
00:40:35Take the other drinks out of that.
00:40:38Haven't you anything smaller?
00:40:39We're going to press the change.
00:40:40Wait a minute.
00:40:41I can break it for you.
00:40:42Here you are.
00:40:44Ten, twenty, thirty, forty, fifty.
00:40:47Thanks very kindly.
00:40:48That's mighty nice of you.
00:40:49And here's your fifty.
00:40:51Hang on to it tightly.
00:40:53Money's very slippery these days.
00:40:55Now, don't go away.
00:40:57I'll be right back.
00:40:58All right.
00:40:58Hurry up before the bubbles die.
00:41:00That'll be twenty dollars for the wine, sir.
00:41:02Yes, take it out of here.
00:41:05Supper is served.
00:41:20Mercury is favorable to the moon in July.
00:41:24Mother, do you see who that is?
00:41:27Why, it's the Swami, isn't it?
00:41:29It's Dustin Willoughby.
00:41:31What?
00:41:31Come on.
00:41:32That concludes the reading, madam.
00:41:40Oh, Jerry.
00:41:42Yes?
00:41:43Tell Larry to call a recess.
00:41:45At once, Swami.
00:41:46Is something wrong?
00:41:49Hmm.
00:41:49I see influences I had better duck.
00:41:54Kevin, Dustin Willoughby.
00:41:56Oh, oh, hello, Diane.
00:41:58Hello, Mrs. Bascom.
00:41:59Imagine finding you here.
00:42:01Yeah, well, that's my own fault.
00:42:03I should have moved quicker.
00:42:04Why haven't you called me?
00:42:06Well, I thought after Mr. Bascom threw me out.
00:42:09Don't give it a thought.
00:42:10Now, you know how Henry plays.
00:42:12Yes, like a left tackle.
00:42:14Dustin, darling, take me to supper.
00:42:17We've so much to talk over.
00:42:19Well, I can't.
00:42:20I'm sorry.
00:42:20I promised Jerry that I'd...
00:42:22He can find someone else.
00:42:24We'll pick up the threads just where we dropped them.
00:42:27Yes, but I don't want to pick up threads.
00:42:29I want to eat.
00:42:29Ah, ah, Dustin, now don't argue.
00:42:32Now, you two lovers go right along.
00:42:34And I look for Mr. Bascom.
00:42:36Dustin, darling, I know where there's a quiet little nook.
00:42:39But I don't like nooks.
00:42:41They give me rheumatism.
00:42:42Oh, Dustin.
00:42:48Isn't it wonderful, Dustin?
00:42:52Well, I...
00:42:52I don't know.
00:42:53I haven't tasted it yet.
00:42:55To think of you being the great Swami.
00:42:58I'm so proud of you.
00:42:59Well, I had nothing to do with it.
00:43:03It was the planets.
00:43:04Like all great men, you're modest.
00:43:07No, Dustin.
00:43:08It was your own face.
00:43:09And now you're tasting the fruit.
00:43:12I'm not tasting anything.
00:43:14Put your arm around me, darling.
00:43:17There, now.
00:43:19Isn't it comfy?
00:43:20Well, it's a little awkward.
00:43:24That's it, darling.
00:43:25Hold me tightly, my Arabian prince.
00:43:28I'm not Arabian.
00:43:30I'm Persian.
00:43:31It doesn't matter what you are.
00:43:33As long as you're mine.
00:43:36Oh.
00:43:36Oh.
00:43:36Oh, Dustin.
00:43:38Are you hurt?
00:43:39Huh?
00:43:40Oh.
00:43:42Where am I?
00:43:43In my arms.
00:43:44We'll always be.
00:43:45No, no.
00:43:46No, wait a minute.
00:43:47Wait a minute.
00:43:48Don't speak.
00:43:49Kiss me.
00:43:53Dustin.
00:43:53Jerry, I know what you're thinking, but it isn't.
00:44:02Please don't apologize.
00:44:04Larry told me where I could find you.
00:44:06There's people waiting for horoscopes.
00:44:07Who is this, Dustin?
00:44:09This is Jerry.
00:44:10She's my, that is, we're going to be.
00:44:13I'm Mr. Willoughby's assistant.
00:44:15Oh, how nice.
00:44:16I do hope you'll come to our wedding.
00:44:18Wait.
00:44:18Diane, you don't understand.
00:44:20I do.
00:44:22I hope you'll both be very happy.
00:44:25Wait a minute, Jerry.
00:44:26She doesn't matter.
00:44:27Let her go.
00:44:28But she does.
00:44:29Let me go.
00:44:36Just a minute, you Plymouth Rock.
00:44:39Oh, yes.
00:44:39You're, uh, uh, Mr. Uh.
00:44:41I'm the guy that gave you the 50.
00:44:43Oh, yes.
00:44:44I remember.
00:44:44Pretty good trick, wasn't it?
00:44:46Yeah, later, Nate.
00:44:47Yeah, I'm sorry.
00:44:48I couldn't get back.
00:44:48I got all tied up.
00:44:50Here's where you're going to get all unwrapped.
00:44:52Yeah, very good.
00:44:53Very good.
00:44:54You, uh, you found the 50, of course.
00:44:57I found this.
00:44:59And you, uh, wondered what became of the 50?
00:45:01I wondered what became of you.
00:45:03Just a little whimsy on my part, my friend.
00:45:06Now watch carefully.
00:45:10I don't do this, old Lord.
00:45:13There's your 50.
00:45:15Proving conclusively that the digit is quicker than the optic.
00:45:18Say, that's swell.
00:45:21I'd like to pull that for the pie-eyed pipers.
00:45:23Could you show me how?
00:45:24Yeah, delighted.
00:45:25Have you got chains for 100?
00:45:27Well, that's 50.
00:45:29Well, the kid says there's 50 more.
00:45:32Now watch this very carefully, because the more you watch, the less you see.
00:45:37Here we are.
00:45:38Now, don't let me fool you, but just a minute, cough.
00:45:44What?
00:45:45There you are.
00:45:46Don't give it away.
00:45:48It's a magician's secret.
00:45:56Oh, Fanny, come here.
00:46:01Well, what are you going to do?
00:46:02Fry it or boil it?
00:46:04Fanny, I've got something to show you.
00:46:06Don't call me Fanny.
00:46:08Fanchon.
00:46:10Everyone else is eating, and you're standing there with an egg in your hand.
00:46:13But look, you wouldn't give $100 for that egg, would you?
00:46:17Is that what they're charging?
00:46:19No, no, no, no.
00:46:20This is a trick.
00:46:21It's a watch.
00:46:22I'll show you.
00:46:23Ah, look.
00:46:23The midget is quicker than the gadget.
00:46:26Look, I wouldn't deceive you.
00:46:27Watch very closely now.
00:46:28Get your coat.
00:46:36The party's over.
00:46:37Wednesday, worry and anxiety.
00:46:51Thursday, worry and anxiety.
00:46:55Friday, a conflict with victory as the moon appears.
00:46:59Hi, Swamy.
00:47:09How's the stars treating?
00:47:10Where's Jerry?
00:47:11How do I know?
00:47:12I've been down meeting the Salvador Slayer.
00:47:15I'm worried about her.
00:47:16Stop worrying of dames.
00:47:18The stars have got you screwy enough.
00:47:20Where's the Slayer?
00:47:27Steve's bringing him up in the freight elevator so as not to scare the customers.
00:47:30Hung of it.
00:47:32You've got to see him to figure that out.
00:47:35I'm on a spot, Lefty.
00:47:36Simpson has bought my mortgage on the fight arena.
00:47:39Do you think you're foreclosed?
00:47:40Well, he didn't buy it to hang on the wall.
00:47:42To get a wad of dough, quick.
00:47:44How about the Slayer?
00:47:45The odds are 10 to 1 against him.
00:47:48Say, if his horoscope is okay, that's a way out.
00:47:52He's here, boss.
00:47:54You better shut one.
00:47:56You shouldn't see him all at once.
00:47:59Come in, stupid.
00:48:02Hello.
00:48:04Is that the Slayer?
00:48:05Yeah, they grow them things in Salvador.
00:48:08You sure you got the right guy?
00:48:11Salvador Slayer, delivered to James J. Regan.
00:48:14Well, I guess he's mine.
00:48:15Bring him in.
00:48:17Come on, Frankenstein.
00:48:20Park over here.
00:48:20Park?
00:48:21Bueno.
00:48:22I'd like to see Zoom.
00:48:23Okay.
00:48:24We'll drag you up someday when they're feeding the lions.
00:48:27Bueno.
00:48:32You're sure she left the hotel?
00:48:34Well, if she comes in, be sure and tell her to call the office.
00:48:37Thanks.
00:48:42Hello?
00:48:42I'm sorry to see you, Mr. Willoughby.
00:48:48Who is it?
00:48:49Name, please.
00:48:50Mrs. Vascom and Diane Vascom.
00:48:55And, uh, Mr. Vascom.
00:48:57How about Vascom?
00:48:59Okay.
00:49:00Wait a minute.
00:49:01Wait, please.
00:49:02Yes, sir.
00:49:03Hello, Justin.
00:49:04Justin, we have a surprise for you.
00:49:07I've had a couple already.
00:49:08Put your old papers away, darling.
00:49:10And get your hat.
00:49:11What for?
00:49:12We're going right down to the city hall.
00:49:13I'll be married.
00:49:15Who, me?
00:49:16Who did you think she was going to marry him?
00:49:20Zodiac.
00:49:21Excuse me.
00:49:22Zodiac.
00:49:23Here, here.
00:49:24Quiet, quiet.
00:49:25Ha, ha, dear.
00:49:27They're not going to hurt us.
00:49:28Oh, you're going to marry my daughter.
00:49:31Well, you...
00:49:31We can't marry while Uranus faces Jupiter.
00:49:35Oh, we're going to start that.
00:49:36Huh?
00:49:37Well, as a matter of fact, we shouldn't get married at all.
00:49:39Justin.
00:49:40What?
00:49:41Well, do you see?
00:49:42She's Earth and I'm water.
00:49:44You mix the two and you get mud.
00:49:46What could...
00:49:47What could we expect our children to be?
00:49:49Henry Batham,
00:49:50are you going to let him call your grandchildren mud pie?
00:49:52Oh, what are you going to do with that idiot?
00:49:55We'll take this into court.
00:49:56We'll sue.
00:49:58Remember, there's always a last straw.
00:50:03Is this it?
00:50:12Dustin, I've always tried to be like a father to you,
00:50:16but if you don't get out of that seat in the next ten seconds,
00:50:19I'm going to break every bone in your body!
00:50:21I wouldn't marry him now if you're gold-plated.
00:50:23You do justice if I could.
00:50:24Shut up!
00:50:25I will not.
00:50:25I will not.
00:50:25I will not.
00:50:26I will not.
00:50:26I will not.
00:50:26I will not.
00:50:26I will not.
00:50:27I will not.
00:50:27I will not.
00:50:28I will not.
00:50:28I will not.
00:50:28I will not.
00:50:29I will not.
00:50:30I will not.
00:50:31I will not.
00:50:31I will not.
00:50:32I will not.
00:50:33I will not.
00:50:34What's going on in here?
00:50:35Well, they want me to marry their daughter,
00:50:37and the planets are against it.
00:50:39All right, folks.
00:50:42Hey, me and Scram, we can't have the swammy upset.
00:50:45Well, I must say.
00:50:46Okay, Peach Blossom, say it outside.
00:50:50Peach Blossom?
00:50:51Come, Mother.
00:50:52We've been insulted enough.
00:50:54Goodbye, Diane.
00:50:55Forget me and marry a Sagittarius.
00:50:59She's going to marry an American like her mother did.
00:51:03And let me tell you.
00:51:04I'm sick of Zodiac.
00:51:09I should have stayed in bed today.
00:51:11Listen, Dustin.
00:51:11You've got to make a horoscope and make it quick.
00:51:14Who's?
00:51:14We've got to find out if that goat in there can fight.
00:51:17Well, I never tried to do a goat before.
00:51:20The Salvador Slayer.
00:51:22If he can win, I can face him.
00:51:24I've got to know.
00:51:25I'm kind of upset today.
00:51:27What are you upset about?
00:51:28You haven't even seen him.
00:51:29Well, Jerry has left me.
00:51:31I'm going to the Foreign Legion and forget it.
00:51:34Get him, boy.
00:51:35Wait a minute.
00:51:35You're going to sit right there and remember.
00:51:39Now hop into them hemispheres and make it snappy.
00:51:42My whole future is in your hands.
00:51:44Come on, boys.
00:51:44Let him concentrate.
00:51:46Well, wait a minute.
00:51:47I can't do this unless you give me the...
00:51:49Oh, my.
00:51:55Why does all this have to happen to me?
00:51:58Good morning, Swami.
00:52:01Larry, what's happened to Jerry?
00:52:03For a fortune teller, you asked the darnedest questions.
00:52:05She hasn't shown up.
00:52:07I'm worried.
00:52:08Worried, anxiety, conflict, with victory as the moon appears.
00:52:11Is this for a horse or just a human being?
00:52:13That's my horoscope.
00:52:15I've got to know about Jerry.
00:52:16She caught you in a half, Nelson, with another gal last night, didn't she?
00:52:19I didn't kiss Diane.
00:52:21She kissed me.
00:52:22A smack's a smack.
00:52:23She's taken a walk out.
00:52:24You're the forgotten man.
00:52:25She can't do it.
00:52:26I won't let her.
00:52:28Tell Reagan I'll do the Slayer's horoscope later.
00:52:33But haven't you any idea where she went?
00:52:35She has an aunt in Hartford.
00:52:37She might have gone there.
00:52:38Hartford?
00:52:39Gosh, why didn't you say so?
00:52:41Did that dope work out?
00:52:45What dope?
00:52:45Where's Dustin?
00:52:46Gone on a treasure hunt.
00:52:47Why'd you let him go?
00:52:49Get your feet off that table.
00:52:50I'm the manager, not a day neighbor.
00:52:51Shut up.
00:52:53Friday.
00:52:54Conflict with victory as the moon appears.
00:52:57He's done it.
00:52:58Hey, wait a minute.
00:52:59You're making a week.
00:52:59My mistake was in hiring you.
00:53:01You're fired.
00:53:02What about my dope?
00:53:03Try and get it.
00:53:07Wednesday and Thursday, worry and anxiety.
00:53:09That's today and tomorrow.
00:53:11Sure you can depend on it?
00:53:12He was a little screwy this morning.
00:53:13Friday.
00:53:14Conflict with victory as the moon appears.
00:53:16That's the night of the fight.
00:53:17He can't lose.
00:53:18Does he know that?
00:53:19Slap him out of that stupor.
00:53:20Get him out.
00:53:21That every dime we've got, Dustin never misses.
00:53:23It's a lifesaver.
00:53:24Right.
00:53:29Ninety-eight dollars even.
00:53:31Is it that much?
00:53:32We've been browsing around Hartford for the last two days.
00:53:34Here's a hundred.
00:53:35Keep the change.
00:53:36What am I going to tell my wife?
00:53:38Tell her that Pluto's in the tenth house and your aspects aren't what they should be.
00:53:41Here's to the night.
00:53:48Tomorrow we'll be riding the wave.
00:53:50Fifteen grand and ten to one.
00:53:53Yeah.
00:53:53And Simpson took most of it.
00:53:55We'll hang him like a leg of lamb.
00:53:59Hello, everybody.
00:54:00Dustin, my boy.
00:54:01Come in.
00:54:02Where have you been?
00:54:03Hartford.
00:54:04Has Jerry been here?
00:54:05Haven't seen her.
00:54:06Mixed up in a drink.
00:54:07He should be in on a celebration.
00:54:08Right.
00:54:09Celebration?
00:54:10What celebration?
00:54:11That horoscope for the Slayer is going to put us all on easy.
00:54:14I didn't write any horoscope for the Slayer.
00:54:16What?
00:54:17No.
00:54:18Don't joke.
00:54:19I've got a week.
00:54:20There it is.
00:54:21Victory as the Moon appears.
00:54:28That isn't his horoscope.
00:54:30Who is this?
00:54:31That's mine.
00:54:31Yours.
00:54:32Sure.
00:54:33I'm ruined.
00:54:33I'm a pauper.
00:54:35Now, wait a minute.
00:54:36Wait a minute.
00:54:36I couldn't cast his horoscope.
00:54:38You didn't give me his birthday.
00:54:40I'll slug him when you jump in, Steve.
00:54:41Oh, come on.
00:54:42Sefty.
00:54:43Call up that ape and get his birthday.
00:54:44He don't even know he was born.
00:54:46Here.
00:54:47Look at his bathroom.
00:54:48Maybe there's something in there.
00:54:50Wait a minute.
00:54:51I've got an idea.
00:54:52Here.
00:54:53Here's his passport.
00:54:54It'll be in here.
00:54:56February 8th, 19-2.
00:54:58Yes.
00:54:59February 8th.
00:55:00Uranus.
00:55:01Uranus.
00:55:03Uranus eccentric in motion.
00:55:05Six, two.
00:55:06And even.
00:55:07Plus four.
00:55:08Minus.
00:55:11What about it?
00:55:12Disruptive vibration to Mars.
00:55:13He should avoid quarrels.
00:55:15What are you talking about?
00:55:16He can't possibly win.
00:55:17Why not?
00:55:18Well, his nebula is out of order.
00:55:21Should I slug him?
00:55:22Ah, what's the use?
00:55:23Hey, boss.
00:55:24Type this picture.
00:55:25I've lost my pants and he wants me to look at pictures.
00:55:27It's him.
00:55:29What?
00:55:33That's me.
00:55:35Have you been a fighter?
00:55:36Well, I've had just a few preliminary bouts.
00:55:39Just to get money for my lessons.
00:55:41We've got it.
00:55:42It's his horoscope and he's been a fighter.
00:55:44So what?
00:55:45He's the Salvador Slayer.
00:55:50Who, me?
00:55:51You meet the champion.
00:55:53No, I couldn't.
00:55:54I haven't time to meet people.
00:55:56I've got to find Jerry.
00:55:57I'd better slug him.
00:55:59Take him up to my place and lock him in the bathroom to fight.
00:56:01Can we get away with it?
00:56:02Nobody's seen the Slayer.
00:56:03It's our only chance.
00:56:04No, no, wait a minute.
00:56:05I've never won a fight in my life.
00:56:07You will tonight.
00:56:08You've never cast wrong.
00:56:11What time does that moon rise?
00:56:12Uh, 9.52.
00:56:14Get that slug nut over here where nobody can get to him.
00:56:18I don't want to fight.
00:56:21Do you want to get drowned in a bathtub?
00:56:24Oh, no.
00:56:25Not particularly.
00:56:26Then get moving.
00:56:27I won't budge.
00:56:28No power on earth can move me.
00:56:30Right.
00:56:31Right.
00:56:32Hey, wait a minute.
00:56:33Wait a minute, two fellas.
00:56:34You can't do this to me.
00:56:37I'll take care of her.
00:56:39Hello, Miss Grant.
00:56:40Glad to see you back again.
00:56:43Any messages.
00:56:44Yes, ma'am.
00:56:54Is this the last message?
00:56:56I hope so.
00:56:58Put my bag in my room, please.
00:57:00Yes, ma'am.
00:57:00Ha, ha.
00:57:16Ha, ha.
00:57:18Ha, ha.
00:57:19Ha, ha.
00:57:20Ha, ha.
00:57:20No matter how I work it always comes out the same you've been at MSA since seven o'clock
00:57:46we're not poor I don't I can't get the phone up mathematically before 9.50 it'll be that
00:57:56before the prelims are over yeah but but suppose it isn't I'm risking a fortune on this out I'm not
00:58:02worrying I'm risking my life I am stay with him Steve we'll be back before the semifinals
00:58:09on I think wait a minute what time is it now 8.45 you got another hour I'll run me for an hour
00:58:19thanks I'll just sit and worry hey
00:58:25I'll take it my body
00:58:41and the hard right to the body
00:59:04and Chris is down they're counting one two three four five we pause here for station identification
00:59:14hello he's a good fight where is Dr. Willoughby who are you I the Salvador Slayer why but you're
00:59:26not supposed to be fighting M-R-S-A-N-L medical I stay here I got faith to read it well who's fighting the
00:59:33champion so no dustpan when the moon rise oh good bye kid
00:59:39this is the second bout folks the first one edited a one-round knockout both boys are
00:59:49giving everything I have it looks like a number knockout any minute
00:59:56they're going too fast what time is it
00:59:599 o'clock I'm going back let me know when the semifinals start
01:00:05what's going on here what are you doing
01:00:07panicking it's my turn
01:00:27down this is the least do you see anyone coming I don't see the moon that's what
01:00:33you mean
01:00:37what's that with it what are you doing there looking for the Marines to land
01:00:41I can follow it over
01:00:43over to one round knockout in your feet my luck
01:00:47your luck
01:00:49we've still got one six in the semi-final
01:00:53you mind if we lay him out here it's really got no window
01:00:56okay
01:01:03who's he knockout Geller
01:01:06that's the third bout it was the third bout
01:01:12he'll snap out of it in a half hour if his neck ain't broke
01:01:15hey boss the semifinals on
01:01:18what is everybody going to get knocked out
01:01:21that's what I'm worrying about
01:01:24it's ten rounds 40 minutes stop stewing
01:01:26we can semifinals over get your man out
01:01:28all right come on
01:01:30I can't go yet it's out of the question
01:01:33what's he talking about
01:01:34well I I've got to wait until something comes up
01:01:37get him out there or you'll be disqualified
01:01:39no stalling now
01:01:41snap out of it snap out of it
01:01:44yeah but what am I going to do till the moon rises
01:01:47right
01:01:48pray
01:01:49remember the salvador slayer you speak with an accent
01:01:51yeah but
01:01:52what kind of an accent
01:01:54salvadorian
01:01:55come on let's go
01:01:56hey wait a minute
01:01:57hey
01:01:58let me
01:01:59look
01:02:00how do you talk salvadorian
01:02:02it'll come to you come on
01:02:04yeah
01:02:05I won't budge till the moon rises
01:02:07right Steve
01:02:08right
01:02:09hey
01:02:10hey wait I'm going to chew something
01:02:11wait I don't want to go out there
01:02:12wait I don't want to go out there
01:02:18poor knockout bouts in a row
01:02:20what more could happen if this easy you're thrilled
01:02:22what are you doing with that thing up
01:02:49What are you doing with that thing off?
01:03:19Ladies and gentlemen, 15 rounds for the middleweight championship of the world.
01:03:40In this corner, the challenger at 154 pounds, the Salvador Slayer.
01:03:49Get out!
01:03:56Stop!
01:04:05Why is Dustin...
01:04:07Shut up!
01:04:07In this corner, the middleweight champion of the world at 160 pounds, Cracker Craven!
01:04:25Stop looking over your shoulder.
01:04:34You think you're scared.
01:04:35I am.
01:04:36What time is it?
01:04:37Richard, I could be murdered before the moon rises.
01:04:40Keep out of his way.
01:04:41Stop!
01:04:42Yeah, sure.
01:04:43How?
01:04:44It's your problem.
01:04:45Come on, come on.
01:04:46Get out of here for instruction.
01:04:47Come on, come on.
01:04:48Get out of here.
01:04:49Get out of here.
01:04:50Right, Steve?
01:04:51Right.
01:04:52Come on, come on.
01:04:53Get out of here.
01:04:54Get out of here.
01:04:55Get out of here.
01:05:00Right.
01:05:01Right, Steve?
01:05:02Right.
01:05:03Get out of here.
01:05:04Get out of here.
01:05:05Now, why don't you boys your brake, please?
01:05:06Keep your punches up.
01:05:07Come out fighting.
01:05:08Understand?
01:05:09Okay.
01:05:10Oh, uh, I don't speak of the English.
01:05:12Rompon limpio.
01:05:13Pagan si alto.
01:05:14Tell em, tell em.
01:05:15Saben?
01:05:16Oh, uh, si, senor, si.
01:05:20Uh, like this.
01:05:22Rompon, limpio, peguense alto, pelin, pelin, saben?
01:05:29Oh, uh, si, senor, si.
01:05:33Uh, like this.
01:05:36No.
01:05:37Uh, like this.
01:05:39Si.
01:05:41I like this.
01:05:43No.
01:05:44No.
01:05:44Now go to your corners and wait for the bell.
01:05:46Just a minute.
01:05:47Just a few words on the air.
01:05:48Request a Mrs. Carstairs.
01:05:49Okay, but make it snappy.
01:05:51Ladies and gentlemen, the middleweight champion of the world.
01:05:55Hello, folks.
01:05:56I'm in here to do my best.
01:05:59Have a steak ready for him, Mom.
01:06:00It wouldn't be long.
01:06:01About 18 seconds.
01:06:06And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Salvador Slayer.
01:06:09It's yours.
01:06:09Take it away.
01:06:11Gracias.
01:06:12Gracias.
01:06:13No, no.
01:06:14No, no, no.
01:06:16Say something.
01:06:17Oh, ho.
01:06:18Cheats.
01:06:19That's it.
01:06:20Si, si.
01:06:21Senor.
01:06:21Si.
01:06:29Senoras.
01:06:31Senoritas.
01:06:33A la pagoda.
01:06:34La fermenta.
01:06:35Arroya.
01:06:36La cienega.
01:06:37Uh, la banda.
01:06:40Oh, no.
01:06:40Oh, no.
01:06:41English.
01:06:42English.
01:06:42Oh, ho.
01:06:43Si, senora.
01:06:44Si.
01:06:44I wish to tell you how unhappy I am to be here tonight.
01:06:51Oh, this is a nice country.
01:06:55I like your country.
01:06:57But my heart, my heart, she is in Salvador.
01:07:01How many of you, how many of you, how many of you have been in the Salvador?
01:07:06How many?
01:07:07Stand up, please.
01:07:09Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
01:07:17Come on.
01:07:17We haven't got all night.
01:07:19I am asked to make the speech.
01:07:21I make the speech.
01:07:24Salvador, she is a beautiful country.
01:07:28At the moon, the moon, she come over the mountain early.
01:07:31Not to 950 like in your country.
01:07:34Get that thing out of here.
01:07:36Salvador, she is a land of play.
01:07:38People do not grab things in Salvador.
01:07:40Let go of that.
01:07:42We are a friendly people.
01:07:45I'm so busy.
01:07:47Last year, our ex-support on a coffee alone was eight a billion, seven and a one and a half a peso.
01:07:53Our peso, she is like your dollar.
01:07:56Brown, just like the moon.
01:07:58Let us all go out and get a cup of Salvadorian coffee.
01:08:02So, I remember one time last, the people of Salvador's come over.
01:08:10Let us all go out and get a cup of water.
01:08:40Two, three, no fouls.
01:08:44Five, eight, seven, eight, nine.
01:09:03Who did that?
01:09:06Oh, it was you, was it?
01:09:08One, two, three, four.
01:09:38Four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
01:09:46Wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:09:47Come on, let us go.
01:09:49Wait a minute.
01:09:50Wait a minute.
01:09:50Wait a minute.
01:09:51Get him on the back.
01:10:00Put your hands up.
01:10:04What's the matter with your right hand?
01:10:26My thumb is tied.
01:10:31Boy, you're doing swell, though.
01:10:33He never laid a glove on you.
01:10:35No?
01:10:36What did he use?
01:10:37Stop.
01:10:37Stop.
01:10:38Stop.
01:10:39Stop.
01:10:40Stop.
01:10:41Stop.
01:10:42Stop.
01:10:43Stop.
01:10:44Stop.
01:10:45Stop.
01:10:46Don't swallow it.
01:10:47I did.
01:10:52Don't swallow it.
01:10:53I did.
01:10:54Oh.
01:10:55One more.
01:10:56Don't.
01:10:57Don't you.
01:10:58Don't you.
01:10:59Don't you.
01:11:00Don't you.
01:11:13Oh.
01:11:14Don't you.
01:11:15Oh.
01:11:16I'm sorry.
01:11:17I'm sorry.
01:11:18Okay.
01:11:19No, but, no, but, Leely, I am.
01:11:20I'm sorry.
01:11:21Life is gonna die.
01:11:30No, but.
01:11:36Oh.
01:11:37Oh.
01:11:41One, two, three, four.
01:12:10Five, eight, seven.
01:12:40One, two, three, four.
01:12:53The round isn't over yet.
01:12:59One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
01:13:10One, two, three, four, five, six.
01:13:36It's out, Colton.
01:13:40It's out, Colton.
01:13:52It's out.
01:13:53It's out.
01:13:53I'll be there in about 18 seconds.
01:14:23I'll be there in about 18 seconds.
01:14:53Four, five, six, seven, nine, stop!
01:15:02One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, stop!
01:15:14One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, stop!
01:15:19One, two, three, five, six, seven, stop!