The Sarah Jane Adventures- S01 E00- Invasion Of The Bane
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00:00I saw amazing things out there in space, but there's strangeness to be found wherever you turn.
00:26Life on Earth can be an adventure, too. You just need to know where to look.
00:45Ah, she's got the telly working, that's the first priority.
00:48Only a shift.
00:50I need more boxes.
00:52Do us a favour, find the kettle, I'm parched.
00:55Maria! Coming!
00:57Pass me that lamp, because it's quite fragile.
00:59Maria, the cutlery's still in the blue. Go and fetch it. Thanks.
01:03Living room, love?
01:04No, but that's this kitchen. What do you mean?
01:06And don't go through the front, go round the side, I did say.
01:09Mind you, not bad.
01:11Mum, stop fancying the removal, men.
01:13Oh, they love it. Besides, they're getting paid.
01:15Cutlery, go on.
01:16Hiya!
01:17Put it by the window. Thanks.
01:21Thank you, boys!
01:22Thank you, boys!
01:23Come on, then.
01:24Come on, then.
01:26Oh, all done. Congratulations, our new home.
01:30Oh, look at me. Nearly six, I'd better be off.
01:43Thank you, boys!
01:50Come on, then.
01:52Oh, all done. Congratulations, our new home.
01:56Oh, look at me. Nearly six. I'd better be off.
02:00Can't you stay for tea, Mum?
02:02Oh, I'd love to, but Van's cooking me dinner back home.
02:06But you are gonna love it, sweetheart. I promise.
02:09I like the old house.
02:11Your Mum wanted the money.
02:12Now, don't start. This is a much better catchment area.
02:15That old place, they were holding you back.
02:17They were my friends.
02:19Well, you'll get a better catchment of friends.
02:22You'll settle in. Don't worry.
02:25And you.
02:28Still can't make a cup of tea.
02:36Oh, Alan, I nearly forgot. Can you give me that cheque?
02:38I don't know where my cheque book is. It's buried in a box somewhere.
02:41Oh, all right. Well, post it. First and tomorrow, if you could.
02:44Sure.
02:45Angel. Bye-bye, big kiss.
02:47You and me, eh?
02:48Come on.
02:49You and me, eh?
02:52Come on.
02:57You and me, eh?
03:10Come on.
03:27Bubble Shock!
03:29For maximum performance.
03:31No add sugar.
03:33No concentrate.
03:35Bubble Shock!
03:37Contains veins!
03:57W
04:12T
05:58I'm going to tell her you said that.
05:59But what if you see something that you know can't be happening, only is happening, only
06:07you know it can't be?
06:08Don't ask them.
06:09That's our first visitors.
06:13If it's Angelina Jolie, tell her I'm not interested.
06:16You moved in yesterday, right?
06:23Yeah.
06:24Sawyer.
06:25And Kelsey, hiya.
06:26Hiya.
06:27I'm Maria.
06:28You got a rule band?
06:29Yeah.
06:30Brilliant.
06:31You haven't got music channels.
06:34What's the point if you haven't got music channels?
06:38Dad says it costs.
06:39Well, nag him.
06:40You'll be dead in school if you haven't got music channels.
06:42Do you want some of this?
06:44No, thanks.
06:45I don't like it.
06:46I love it.
06:47Do you want to come into town?
06:49I haven't got any money.
06:51That's all right.
06:52We'll just get the bubble shop bus.
06:53It's free.
06:54Every half hour.
06:55Come on, get your stuff.
06:56What?
06:57A free bus?
06:58It's just a bubble shop factory.
06:59You go on a tour.
07:00Get through your samples.
07:01Come on.
07:02I'm going to show you Darren.
07:03He works in a bike shop.
07:04He's overbuffed.
07:05Dad, I'm going out.
07:08Are you heading off without me?
07:10We're going into town.
07:11Without a proper goodbye?
07:13Dad.
07:20I'm so ashamed for you.
07:22Who's your friend?
07:23This is Kelsey.
07:25Did they tell you?
07:26About the people that you used to live in?
07:27No, what happened?
07:28We're mad.
07:29Runaways.
07:30Screaming.
07:31My mum's friend.
07:32Caff pointing.
07:33She lives down there.
07:34Said the bloke kept going on at her about seeing aliens from out of space.
07:36What sort of aliens?
07:37Like it's real.
07:38Shut up.
07:39Come on.
07:40We're going to miss it.
07:43Um, hi.
07:44We just moved in opposite.
07:46I'm Maria Jackson.
07:47Hello.
07:48Hi.
07:49Hello there.
07:50Nice to meet you.
07:51I'm Alan.
07:52Alan Jackson.
07:53Uh, I hope you're not going to make too much noise.
07:56It's just I work from home and I don't like to be disturbed.
07:59Okay.
08:00Nice to be made welcome.
08:01Sorry.
08:02Sarah Jane Smith.
08:04See you then.
08:05Yeah.
08:06Where are you going exactly?
08:07Bubble shock factoring.
08:08Free bus.
08:10Anyway, I'm sure we'll get along just fine.
08:12It's just me and Maria now.
08:13Making a new start of it.
08:14Bit of a divorce and that.
08:16Don't worry.
08:17It's all been sorted.
08:18There's no shouting.
08:19So, what kind of work do you do?
08:24Really?
08:25Really?
08:26What?
08:27Must be fascinating.
08:28Nice to meet you too.
08:29There you go.
08:30You've got my number.
08:31But don't give it to anyone in year eight.
08:33That's the mad woman.
08:34Always racing about.
08:35She's a bit glamorous though.
08:36What does she do?
08:37Journalist or something.
08:38Mum's phone, Kath Ponti, says that she never has anyone around.
08:41Never talks to anyone.
08:42It's guys that kid wants so about a station.
08:43And she's talking to this big crystal thing.
08:44And it moved.
08:45What?
08:46Like a monster or something?
08:47Here it is.
08:48Ah!
08:49No!
08:50No!
08:51No!
08:52No!
08:53No!
08:54No!
08:55No!
08:56No!
08:57No!
08:59No!
09:00No!
09:01No!
09:02No!
09:03No!
09:04No!
09:05No!
09:06No!
09:07No!
09:08No!
09:09No!
09:10No!
09:11No!
09:12No!
09:13No!
09:14No!
09:15No!
09:16No!
09:17No!
09:18No!
09:19No!
09:20I don't care how this bubble shop stuff's supposed to work.
09:22I don't care.
09:23This makes you feel all the way awake and stuff and taste fab.
09:26I think it's disgusting.
09:27You're one of the two percent then.
09:29Doesn't work on two percent of people and that's a fact.
09:31That is.
09:32Anyway, it's organic.
09:34So that makes it all right then, just the magic word organic.
09:38Well, it's natural and that's good.
09:40So there.
09:41This!
09:42Drink it!
09:43Drink it!
09:44Drink it!
09:45There it is!
09:46Bubble shop!
09:47Yeah!
09:48Yeah!
09:49Yeah!
09:50Yeah!
09:51Yeah!
09:52Yeah!
09:53Yeah!
09:54Yeah!
09:55Yeah!
09:56Yeah!
09:57Yeah!
09:58Yeah!
09:59Yeah!
10:00Yeah!
10:01Yeah!
10:02Yeah !
10:06Wow!
10:09Damn!
10:10Yeah!
10:11Yeah!
10:14I never doubt that one got the gun out!
10:18They're on my own gesch.
10:19I knew it.
10:49Right, welcome to the Bubbleshock experience.
10:52If you'd like to step through the archway one by one, let's just security scan one at a time.
11:02Security scan in the pot factory.
11:05People want to steal the recipe.
11:10Come on, it doesn't hurt.
11:14Today's first lot going through now.
11:16Transmitting data to the archetype.
11:18In five, four, three, two, one.
11:24And transmit.
11:27Is it working?
11:30Oh, yes.
11:33He's almost fully mature.
11:34I would even say, perfect.
11:43Mother will be pleased.
11:46Mother will be pleased.
12:25Mrs. Wormwood, we have an intruder.
12:31Well, dispose of them.
12:32She says her name is Sarah Jane Smith.
12:35Does she indeed?
12:37Well, bring her to my office and make her welcome.
12:43This should be fun.
12:46Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Bubble Shock.
12:51It's huge.
12:52I've seen it loads of times.
12:54Careful.
12:54Okay, just a quick reminder, if you could turn off your mobile phones, that means all of you.
12:59We have extremely sensitive equipment here and the signals can interfere with the machinery, so phones off.
13:04What's a mobile phone going to do? Make the bubbles go flat?
13:07That's enough lip at the back. Just do it.
13:12Is it rude?
13:13I don't care. It's a total rocket.
13:15Okay, everyone, this is the main production area.
13:19And before we go any further, I'd like to offer you more free samples.
13:23Help yourselves.
13:24Rubble Shock revitalizes your taste buds and gives you energy morning, noon and night.
13:32Only Bubble Shock contains bane.
13:34Yeah, etc.
13:36Okay, that's it. Keep moving. Thank you. Don't touch anything. How many times?
13:43Oi.
13:44No Bubble Shock?
13:52I'm one of the 2% with the wrong taste buds.
13:54Don't worry. We're working on it. Soon we'll have everyone drinking Bubble Shock.
14:00The whole world.
14:02The whole world.
14:03I'd rather have a cup of tea.
14:14That's very kind.
14:16Think of yourself as our guest.
14:18I wasn't breaking in.
14:19I was just trying to reach someone in charge.
14:22I phoned about a hundred times, but no one would talk to me.
14:25I've seen the list.
14:26I've seen the list.
14:27Phone calls, emails.
14:30Miss Sarah Jane Smith certainly makes her presence felt.
14:33Do you mind if I take notes?
14:34Not at all.
14:36And since you've been so bold, let's make this an official interview.
14:40And it's Mrs. Wormwood.
14:45That's correct.
14:46As a matter of fact, that's in the Bible, Wormwood.
14:49The Book of Revelations.
14:51At the end of the world, it describes a star falling to earth and poisoning the waters.
14:59A star called Wormwood.
15:02Fascinating.
15:02Shall we move on to business?
15:05I've got contacts in the city.
15:07They said it was like this company dropped in from nowhere.
15:10And normally it takes years of tests to get approval from the EU to market a new food star.
15:16You got it in two weeks.
15:18All we're doing is satisfying a need.
15:21Which is?
15:22The people are hungry, Miss Smith.
15:24For new food.
15:25New drinks.
15:26New tastes.
15:27All the Western world does is eat.
15:30All day, every day, eating.
15:34They gorge and feast and chew and bite.
15:38Everything sweet and hot and cold and sticky.
15:42Food and drink.
15:43Just food and drink.
15:46That's the human race.
15:48They devour.
15:49Who are we to deny them?
15:52So you invented Bane.
15:53Oh, the Bane and Bubbleshock isn't you, Miss Smith.
15:55Oh, no.
15:56It's very, very old.
16:00Come and see.
16:00All the hype.
16:06The Bane is completely natural.
16:09One hundred percent organic.
16:11Yes, but organic what?
16:13Oh, now, don't be so.
16:14I can hardly give away our recipe.
16:16I checked with some scientists, I know.
16:17Your social circle sounds fascinating.
16:20They tried to analyze a bottle of Bubbleshock.
16:23Oh, what's the point of analysis?
16:24It's all chemicals and sweeteners and E-numbers.
16:28The test of a drink is in the tasting.
16:32Have you tried it?
16:34Oh, no.
16:35Definitely not.
16:36Oh, but you must.
16:38Leslie?
16:39Oh, no, really.
16:40Thanks.
16:41I'm fine.
16:42No, no, no, no, no.
16:43But I insist a good journalist should submit to the complete experience.
16:52Drink Bubbleshock, Miss Smith.
16:56Drink deep.
16:59Bane has received ringing endorsements.
17:02Now, I know we're not supposed to advertise, but we have to make an exception for this.
17:06Yep, you have got to try Bubbleshock.
17:08It's simply delicious.
17:09Mmm.
17:10Drink it.
17:11Mrs. Wormwood, I'd rather die.
17:14Now, we can't have that, can we?
17:21But those scientists, they said that Bane behaves very oddly when they tried to test it, as if it's resisting the analysis.
17:27And nothing could do that.
17:29At least, nothing on Earth.
17:32What exactly are you suggesting, Miss Smith?
17:35That Bane originated in outer space.
17:38Of course not.
17:41That would be ridiculous.
17:43Wouldn't it, though?
17:49So the pure spring water and fresh fruit juice ends up here, where Bane is added.
17:54And from here, it's bottled, all quality controlled, packed up and ready to be distributed all over the British island.
18:00Listen, we'll be done in 20 minutes.
18:02I'll go and phone Suki.
18:04She can meet us in WH Smith.
18:06You're not supposed to use your phone.
18:07And what are you?
18:08A girl guide.
18:09They'll take it off you.
18:11Well, he's not going to see, is he?
18:12Two ticks.
18:14Suki's dead rich.
18:15Go ahead and print your story by all means.
18:20Consider your career.
18:22Are you really going to expose this as some kind of alien plot?
18:26You'll be considered insane.
18:28I don't care what people think of me.
18:30Never have.
18:31Oh.
18:31I just want to find the truth.
18:34But it's such a cost.
18:36I take it, Miss Smith, that you're single?
18:38Yes, I am.
18:40No children?
18:41No.
18:42Such a wasted life.
18:45Miss Smith is leaving.
18:46Leslie will show you out.
18:52Oh, and by the way, what planet do you come from?
18:56Nice try.
18:56Nice try.
19:01Leslie, kill her.
19:29Come on.
19:31Why me?
19:49Don't put this on the tour, do they?
19:56Hiya, Suki.
20:01I'm sorry, everyone. We seem to have some kind of emergency. That's it. Keep moving, please. Thank you.
20:23Get them out. Get everyone out.
20:31Kelsey.
20:39Kelsey?
20:41What is it? What's happening?
20:44Mrs Wormwood. She escaped.
20:47Sarah Jane Smith.
20:52Kelsey?
20:53Kelsey?
20:53Kelsey?
21:01I'm that woman. And this time, kill her properly.
21:12Kelsey?
21:19What have you done?
21:20Get that thing away from me.
21:21She is not a thing. You are the thing.
21:25She is my mother.
21:28The mother of a soul.
21:30Sir?
21:31Well, turn it off.
21:34Oi, that's my phone.
21:38There's nothing to be scared of, Mother.
21:41A precious Bane, Mother.
21:43Kelsey?
21:45You there?
21:48Hold up the exit.
21:54Report these ones.
21:55Can't do this.
21:56Oh, yeah.
22:12Oh, yeah.
22:14Oh, yeah.
22:17Oh!
22:19Oh, yeah.
22:20Oh, yeah.
22:21Uh, hello.
22:43Um, hello.
22:44Who are you?
22:45Who are you?
22:46I'm lost.
22:47I'm lost.
22:49I'll turn off that number four.
22:50I'll turn off that number four.
22:52Right.
23:01Shroud yourself, Mother.
23:03We will find the source and destroy it.
23:05Mrs. Wormwood, we have the situation under control.
23:07Oh, I don't think so.
23:09The archetype has escaped.
23:11Find it.
23:12And for the vain Mother's sake, turn off these alarms.
23:19Find the device.
23:20The B squad, C squad.
23:22Make chain breaks in the fence.
23:23Set out.
23:26I'm not with them.
23:28I can help you.
23:33I've got to find a place to hide.
23:40Yes.
23:41Come on.
23:41Come on.
23:41Come on.
23:41Come on.
23:42Come on.
23:43Come on.
23:43Come on.
23:44Come on.
23:45Come on.
23:45Come on.
23:46Come on.
23:47Come on.
23:48Come on.
23:49Come on.
23:49We'll be safe in here for a bit.
23:59One place men never go.
24:01Sorry for dragging you into the ladies.
24:03Why do men never go to the ladies?
24:04Close your feet, sir.
24:06Hurry up.
24:06What are you doing here?
24:21I could ask you the same.
24:23Who's he?
24:23Have you searched everywhere?
24:24It must have left the compound.
24:26Impossible.
24:26There are still humans here.
24:28I can smell them.
24:29And one very particular person.
24:31Still alive.
24:32What have they done to you?
24:34Oh, I knew I had to get away.
24:36Yeah, well, that goes for all of us.
24:37Did you search your left?
24:39But it's for their females only.
24:40We are males.
24:41Their culture says we must never go in.
24:42Oh, you idiot.
24:43Where does that lead?
24:44Visitors car park.
24:45Only a child can get through there.
24:46Or a narrow-hipped female.
24:47Come on.
24:48This way.
24:49Quickly.
24:50See all the gates.
24:51Move.
24:52Get in.
24:53Put my friend in there.
24:54Well, I only just met her this morning, but I just can't leave her.
24:56Well, the bus has gone.
24:57Maybe she was on the bus.
24:58Now, get in.
24:59I can't.
25:00I can't.
25:01What's that thing?
25:02Sonic lipstick.
25:03Now, get in.
25:04Set the perimeter.
25:05Move.
25:06Retreat the archetype.
25:07Move.
25:08Retreat the archetype.
25:09Come on.
25:10Come on.
25:11This way.
25:12Come on.
25:13This way.
25:14Quickly.
25:15Seal the gates.
25:16Move.
25:17Get in.
25:18Put my friend in there.
25:19Well, I only just met her this morning, but I just can't leave her.
25:20Well, the bus has gone.
25:21Maybe she was on the bus.
25:22Now, get in.
25:23I can't.
25:24I can't.
25:25What's that thing?
25:26Sonic lipstick.
25:27Now, get in.
25:28Set the perimeter.
25:29Move.
25:30She's taken the archetype.
25:39Now we can have even more fun.
25:41Oh, even more.
25:48Now then, let's find out what you know.
25:52Little girl.
25:53But who is he?
25:54What was he doing in that faction?
25:56What were they doing in there?
25:57Just leave it.
25:58You go home, Maria.
25:58I can handle things from now on.
26:01But there's something going on.
26:02I saw you last night.
26:06What did you say?
26:08She said she saw you last night.
26:10With that thing in your garden.
26:12That alien.
26:13Now listen to me, Maria.
26:15My life is dangerous.
26:17And rule one, I don't put anyone else in danger.
26:20Especially not a kid.
26:21I'm not a kid.
26:22Maria, just go back home.
26:23You watch telly, you do whatever it is you do.
26:25You just live your life as normal.
26:27You forget any of this happened.
26:28Have you got that?
26:29You stay away from me, for your own sake.
26:41Hey.
26:43Hey.
26:43Worked out the oven.
26:44It was on on time.
26:45And another thing, I want compensation for that phone.
26:59That was brand new last week.
27:00And FYI, he's a prize mentalist.
27:03He's got like this big puppet thing living in his roof.
27:05And he thinks it's his mum.
27:07Puppet?
27:07She means mother.
27:10Yeah?
27:11Well, if that's your mum, you should go on Jeremy Carl.
27:13I can't understand a word she says.
27:15She's all noise and ignorance.
27:18Whereas Miss Smith...
27:20She seems familiar with the concept of alien life.
27:24Far too familiar.
27:26Look, if we scan her, an average human, except...
27:29What is it?
27:31Residual artron energy.
27:34And what's that?
27:36Background radiation.
27:38Result of travels through the space-time vortex.
27:40A while ago, but it's still there.
27:44A timed space travel.
27:45So it seems.
27:50We need to find her.
27:52She lives on Bannerman Road.
27:54I beg your pardon?
27:55Bannerman Road.
27:56And she's as loony as you lot.
27:58We must retrieve the archetype and kill this Smith woman.
28:02I've been aching to kill one ever since we arrived.
28:04This one has information.
28:06Perhaps we can use her.
28:07You can let me go.
28:08Otherwise, I'm phoning the police.
28:10And Childline.
28:12I'm going to turn off my image translator.
28:16Try not to scream.
28:18I never scream.
28:25Someone said there's a miserable girl who needs a cup of tea.
28:34I couldn't find one, so you'll have to do instead.
28:39Thanks.
28:40What is it, then?
28:41Hmm?
28:43It's all right.
28:43I know.
28:44New house, new school next week.
28:46Everything must seem so weird.
28:49You're telling me.
28:50But if there's anything wrong, you can tell me.
28:53You know that, don't you?
28:55You can tell me anything.
28:56It felt so good to be myself.
29:08These clumsy human oxen.
29:12The girl's unconscious.
29:14I'm surprised you didn't kill her.
29:17These miniature versions have parents.
29:20Parents ask questions.
29:22And what did we learn?
29:23The thoughts of a child are chaos.
29:27Late homework.
29:29Is she fat?
29:29Will she ever be kissed?
29:32And she worships something called the Holy Oak.
29:37No.
29:39Holy Oaks.
29:40But her parents fight.
29:41She wishes she was younger.
29:42She wishes she was older.
29:43This world scares her so very much.
29:46And Sarah Jane Smith?
29:48Oh, she knows her.
29:49Bannerman Road, number 13.
29:53And yes, she lives alone.
29:56No support.
29:58No defences.
29:59Then I can attack.
30:00Oh, yes.
30:02Have some fun.
30:04And I've filleted the memories.
30:07This one will remember nothing.
30:14Oh.
30:16Right.
30:17Hiya.
30:19Oh.
30:19I'm so ashamed.
30:21I'm asleep in your office.
30:23We've looked after you.
30:25And don't worry.
30:26Davy can take you home.
30:27Off you go, Davy.
30:29Bannerman Road.
30:30Enjoy.
30:31Enjoy.
30:31Enjoy.
30:31Enjoy.
30:37But you must have a name.
30:48If I'm Sarah Jane, then you're all I know is I had to run.
30:53But you could talk.
30:54Someone must have taught you that.
30:57Who was it?
30:58Everyone.
30:59Oh, what does that mean?
31:00Everyone.
31:01I am everyone.
31:04And then I had to run.
31:07The girl came.
31:08Maria.
31:09And then you.
31:10Well, think back.
31:11Before you ran, what can you remember?
31:14I was born running.
31:16But you must have a home.
31:18Is this your home?
31:19Yes, it is.
31:21Can I live here?
31:23No.
31:24No, I don't think so.
31:26Sorry.
31:28Help yourself.
31:31Is this food?
31:33Food and drink.
31:36Which is which?
31:36Sarah Jane.
31:38Who's that?
31:39No one.
31:40There was a voice.
31:41No, there wasn't.
31:42Sarah Jane.
31:43Not now.
31:47I thought you lived alone.
31:48I do.
31:50And whatever happens, you're not to go upstairs.
31:52Have you got that?
31:53It's private.
31:55You don't ever go upstairs.
31:56Unless I say so.
31:58You don't trust me.
31:59I don't even know you.
32:02Hold on.
32:03Now, don't be afraid.
32:06Not alien.
32:11A normal, healthy lad.
32:13Human.
32:14Aging rate normal.
32:16But...
32:17This says you were born 360 years ago.
32:25You were born...
32:27360 minutes ago.
32:29Is that good or bad?
32:36Bellarmine Road.
32:37Off you go.
32:38Well, I don't have to be home till six.
32:41We need to go for a burger.
32:43Get out.
32:45Don't forget.
32:48Drink bubble shock.
32:49Here comes trouble.
33:08Kelsey!
33:09Thanks for abandoning me.
33:12Here's something you are.
33:13I'm making a snack.
33:14Do you want some, Kelsey?
33:14Beans on toast?
33:15Too many carbohydrates.
33:16Right.
33:17You can starve.
33:18But where were you?
33:19All the alarms went off and I was running around the factory looking for you.
33:21He's all right, Adam.
33:22He's a bit fit.
33:23Oh, shut up.
33:25But where'd you get to, Kelsey?
33:26Tell me.
33:27The factory.
33:27What happened?
33:28You can read.
33:37I can now.
33:38You just know.
33:39It's easy.
33:39Letters and words.
33:42Forgive me, but if you don't mind, could you just lift up your top just so I can see you stop?
33:48You've got no belly button.
33:50Is that good or bad?
33:52I don't know, but everyone who's born has got a belly button.
33:55Why not me?
33:56Sorry, but I don't think you were born.
34:00I think you were grown.
34:09Honestly, I was mortified waking up in our office.
34:12And then this drove me home.
34:13What drove me home?
34:14The muffin.
34:14What?
34:15The man from the tour.
34:16He's here on Bannerman Road.
34:17Yeah?
34:18What about it?
34:18Dad, I'm going out.
34:20Wait.
34:21Oh.
34:26Sarah, Jane, open up.
34:30It's me.
34:31It's Maria.
34:32You're completely shaming me.
34:35I told you.
34:37Leave me alone.
34:38But it's the man from the factory.
34:40He's on the street.
34:40He's here.
34:41What is it?
34:56What is it?
34:59What is that thing?
35:00What is it?
35:01Hello, Maria.
35:02Hello, screaming girl.
35:02Never mind.
35:03Hello.
35:03Someone does a great big alien out there.
35:05What the fuck?
35:06What is it?
35:07What is it?
35:08What is it?
35:09Get upstairs.
35:10We're not allowed.
35:11I'm allowing you.
35:13No, no.
35:13He's at me.
35:14Just shut up and move.
35:26All of you.
35:27Just run.
35:28Just run if you can.
35:31He's coming upstairs.
35:33We're going to die.
35:40Where is that thing?
35:45Help me.
35:48Wait here.
35:51That's a bear.
35:52No.
35:52You can't go.
35:53I'll be ten seconds.
35:54Just ten seconds.
35:55You will die, Miss Smith.
35:57You are the squealing pigs.
35:58This is not happening.
35:59This is so not happening.
36:01That contradicts the facts.
36:03No.
36:03First the children.
36:07And then you.
36:08Old boys.
36:09Hey!
36:10Let's go.
36:10Let's go.
36:10Let's go.
36:29It's a muffin.
36:30That is a muffin.
36:38Pissy.
36:39That was the last one.
36:49What's going on?
36:50Maria, don't get involved.
36:52I think it's a little bit too late for that.
36:53Thanks.
36:54Thanks.
36:56You saved our lives.
36:58I suppose I did.
37:03Oh, my flipping head.
37:04No!
37:05Don't go up there!
37:08Who said you could come up here?
37:10Don't touch anything!
37:11These things?
37:16What?
37:16What?
37:17These things?
37:18Are they aliens?
37:19Some of them.
37:20Some of them.
37:27Where'd you get them?
37:29I suppose you've seen too much now.
37:31It's not as if anyone's going to believe you.
37:37Aliens are falling to Earth all the time.
37:40It's not just those stories you hear on the news.
37:42All sorts of creatures.
37:44Some have got lost, like the one you saw me sending home last night.
37:48Some of them crash land, and some of them want to invade.
37:51You still believe me?
37:53Yes.
37:53Really? How come?
37:55Because you're bonkers, but I don't think you're a liar.
37:58Oh, well, it's nice to know.
37:59No, except about the bonkers fish.
38:02This place is beautiful.
38:04Not so bad yourself, Laura?
38:06What does that mean?
38:07Oh, he's mine.
38:08Is that good or bad?
38:09That's bad. That's very bad.
38:11It's just you, though.
38:13On your own.
38:15The government knows all about aliens.
38:17And then there are secret organisations dedicated to finding them,
38:20but they tend to go in all guns blazing.
38:23I just think there's a better way of doing it.
38:25How do you get started?
38:28I met this man, a very special man, called the Doctor.
38:35And years ago, we travelled together.
38:37In space.
38:38Space and time.
38:41Then it came to an end.
38:42And suddenly, I was back to a normal life.
38:47Electric bills.
38:49There's pipes.
38:51There's tickets.
38:53And rain.
38:53She's completely looped the loop.
38:55There, do you see?
38:57Who could I talk to about it?
38:58For years, I tried to forget.
39:01And then I met him again.
39:02The Doctor?
39:03We both changed.
39:05But it's funny, because we were still both the same.
39:09And I learnt that I could carry on here on Earth doing what we always did.
39:14And that's when I started this.
39:16I began my life again.
39:17And the Bubble Shock factory.
39:19It's run by aliens.
39:20All right, everyone's an alien.
39:23You, me, the Pope, James Blunt.
39:25Actually, I can believe that one.
39:27But, Kelsey, you saw it.
39:28That great big alien creature.
39:29I saw a muffin in a suit.
39:31That's all.
39:31Like in the films, it's pretend.
39:35What's that?
39:36I've come back again.
39:37Another invasion, obviously.
39:38Little green men.
39:39There was a scientific project in Switzerland.
39:46They created their own black hole.
39:47If it gets free, the Earth would be swallowed up.
39:51So K-9's seeing it all.
39:52Greetings, mistress.
39:54K-9.
39:55He's my friend.
39:55K-9.
39:56I think K-9.
39:57That's so lame.
39:59He's been in there for a year and a half now, plugging the distortion.
40:02And every so often, he passes my way.
40:05Your best friend's a metal dog with its bum stuck in a black hole.
40:10I know.
40:12How are you, K-9?
40:14How do you feel?
40:15Misunderstanding of the functional nature of this unit, mistress, I do not feel.
40:20However, all circuits are functioning at full capacity.
40:23Can you ever come out, K-9?
40:25Oh, K-9, this is Maria.
40:26Greetings, young mistress.
40:28I cannot emerge until this breach is sealed.
40:31How long will that take?
40:32I cannot estimate the duration of this task.
40:35What is he?
40:35Nuts and bolts?
40:36The small female is hostile.
40:39Don't listen to her.
40:41Regret, I must transfer my coordinates, mistress.
40:45Bye-bye, K-9.
40:47Good dog.
40:49Affection noted, mistress.
40:51How long has he gone for?
41:02I don't know, but I miss him.
41:05And don't you laugh, Kelsey Hooper.
41:08But he was my dog.
41:10My daft little metal dog.
41:12And now, I'm on my own.
41:23You know the penalty.
41:26Forgive me.
41:28But she had weapons.
41:29Terrible weapons.
41:31A hunter that loses his prey is unfit to serve the Bane Mother.
41:35I'll go back.
41:36I'll kill her.
41:37I can manage that on my own.
41:45Mother eats the children that fail her.
41:48You will become food.
41:50What's this, then?
42:00It's some sort of communicator.
42:01It was a gift from the person you saw last night.
42:05She said, if I ever needed help, I could use it to call her.
42:08Then let's call her.
42:09She meant help with poetry.
42:13She was a star poet from Architune 5.
42:16That's not much use, unless you want to rhyme.
42:18Trouble.
42:19Double.
42:20Let me see.
42:27Careful.
42:30He knows nothing about the world.
42:32Everything's new to him.
42:34I think he's some sort of experiment.
42:36Like those aliens created him.
42:37He's their child.
42:39But he's still human.
42:41If you don't mind.
42:42I don't like people going through my things.
42:48That device on your wrist, it detects alien life.
42:51That's right.
42:52Then watch it detecting now.
42:54How do you mean?
42:56It's right.
42:57There might be another one of those things out there.
42:59No.
43:00Wait a minute.
43:00What?
43:10Kelsey!
43:11You're an alien!
43:11Oh, you wish!
43:13No, it's not her.
43:14Oh, that's mine!
43:16It's the drink.
43:18It's that ingredient, bane.
43:19Yeah, well, it's organic.
43:20More than that.
43:22It's alive.
43:23Species identified, bane.
43:25It's not just an ingredient.
43:26It's an alien.
43:27This is the secretion of...
43:29Give me glasses.
43:30A bane mother.
43:33There's a piece of living bane inside every bottle of milk sugar.
43:39I've been drinking that stuff.
43:40And it's aliens.
43:41I thought you didn't believe in aliens.
43:43Oh, you can shut up.
43:44I've got things on my space living in my stomach.
43:46What are you going to do about it?
43:47It's not my fault.
43:48Yeah?
43:48You've got all this stuff, all these gadgets,
43:50and you sit here talking, yapping on all day about planets and monsters.
43:55What good is that?
43:55Why don't you actually do something?
43:57All right, Kelsey.
43:59Just you watch.
44:02Mr. Smith?
44:03Yes, Sarah Jane?
44:04I need you.
44:04Mr. Smith's a computer.
44:16An alien computer.
44:18Mr. Smith, I want a direct visual link to Mrs. Wormwood at the Bane factory.
44:23Can you get coordinates?
44:24Access in.
44:25What?
44:26You can just phone her up.
44:28Mr. Smith can hack into anything.
44:30But why do you want to talk to them?
44:31Because, I want to be fair.
44:40That's like their phone number.
44:42Fishing link connecting.
44:46Mrs. Wormwood.
44:48Oh, very clever.
44:49Thanks for the assassination attempt.
44:52My pleasure.
44:53The next one will involve Harpoon.
44:54I know who you are and what you are.
45:00Bane.
45:00Now leave this planet.
45:02Are you declaring war?
45:03Mrs. Wormwood, the universe is huge.
45:06And Earth is so small.
45:08You don't need to do this.
45:10I'm asking you, as one species to another,
45:13just leave this world.
45:15Leave us in peace.
45:17Please.
45:18And if I don't?
45:19Then, I'll have to do something.
45:26Very well.
45:28In the language of your young ones,
45:31bring it on.
45:33Well, that didn't go well.
45:44How are you going to stop them?
45:46You tell me.
45:47What?
45:48Do you mean you haven't got a plan?
45:49Nothing.
45:50No.
45:51The people I fight have plans and weapons,
45:54but I don't.
45:55It's what makes me different.
45:59Mother, events have escalated.
46:02We must declare war on mankind.
46:05Open your mind, Mother.
46:07You must convert the humans containing Bane.
46:10They will convert the rest.
46:13Let this become Bane World.
46:32Kelsey Hooper, look.
46:48Help me.
46:49Oh, my God.
46:50It's beginning.
46:52Kelsey, bite it.
46:58Drink it.
46:59It's the Bane.
47:00They're taking people over.
47:01Out.
47:01Quickly.
47:02Out.
47:02Drink it.
47:04Drink it.
47:06Please.
47:06Drink it.
47:08Drink it.
47:10I've got to get to the factory.
47:11I'm coming with you.
47:12You are staying here.
47:15Dad, stay indoors.
47:17There's all this stuff happening.
47:21Drink it.
47:22Dad, no, Dad.
47:24Mother stirs.
47:26Those who have not taken Bane must be converted.
47:35Dad, listen to me.
47:36It's not you.
47:37It's the thing.
47:38It's the drink.
47:39It's the Bane.
47:39Drink it.
47:41Drink it.
47:42Sorry.
47:43We can't help them.
47:44The only thing we can do is get to the factory.
47:46We're not getting them.
47:46Come on.
47:47Drink it.
47:48Drink it.
47:49This is bad, Willis.
47:51I reckon it's bad.
47:52What are we going to do, Maria?
47:53Two types of people in the world.
47:55People who panic.
47:56And then there's us.
47:57Got that?
47:58Got it.
47:58Got it.
47:58Drink it.
48:26Drink it.
48:26Mother welcomes her new children.
48:35Come to us.
48:38Newborn Bane.
48:40Come to us.
48:42I'm going inside.
48:56You stay here.
48:56No way.
49:05They've got a deadlock steal.
49:06What does that mean?
49:08We can't get in.
49:09Sarah Jane.
49:10We can't go back and we can't get in.
49:15What do we do?
49:16No.
49:18There's got to be a way of getting in.
49:19There's got to be.
49:20Must be something.
49:21What do I do?
49:23Oh, come on, Doctor.
49:24Help me.
49:26Come on.
49:28Think.
49:34Yes.
49:35All the humans who don't submit will be reduced to liquid.
49:39Then Bane will drink them and...
49:43What's that noise?
49:44Not too late for the party.
50:02Miss Smith.
50:05I warned you, leave this planet.
50:09Have you met my mother?
50:20Leave her alone.
50:22I told you to stay on board.
50:23Too late for that.
50:24Oh, you brought us the archetype.
50:27He is a living, thinking human being.
50:30And you created him.
50:32What for?
50:32He's an assembly of thousands of different humans.
50:36A montage, you might say.
50:37A collage.
50:38On every tour of the factory, we'd scan the guests.
50:41All 10,000 of them.
50:42And then we fed every strength and every weakness into him.
50:47The archetype.
50:48I am everyone.
50:50But why?
50:51The two-percenter wouldn't touch Bane.
50:53The archetype could tell us exactly how to modify our product.
50:57But since we've advanced our plans,
51:00he is no longer needed.
51:03No!
51:04No!
51:07It's only a boy.
51:08I'm begging you.
51:09Let him go.
51:10Oh, that's so sweet.
51:12But he's dying.
51:13And soon you will join him.
51:15Like all our enemies.
51:16Our slave control is activated around the world.
51:21The time of man is over.
51:25The time of Bane is coming.
51:30Freakness!
51:32Freakness!
51:34Freakness!
51:36You failed, Miss Smith.
51:40This is where your lonely life has led you.
51:42Except she's not on her own.
51:44She's got me.
51:45And I've got this.
51:55The device is tiny.
51:59And now you've angered the Bane Mother.
52:02Do you really think that's wise?
52:05Don't want to stay away.
52:15You know what?
52:16You're so glad I didn't.
52:18Mother, descend and consume them.
52:22You forgot this.
52:31What is that?
52:31A signal device from another world.
52:33And what of it?
52:34Like a mobile phone.
52:35I need to call across the stars.
52:37It must be a million times more powerful.
52:39Then it's a good thing you don't know our frequency.
52:41Mr. Smith said it out loud.
52:43That was dozens of numbers.
52:44Do I remember them?
52:45You gave me the memory of 10,000 humans.
52:49Stop it!
52:519, 8, 7, 5, 5, 6, 4, 5, 1, 0, 5, 5, 5.
52:55Calling the Bane!
52:56The Bane Mother!
53:04You're killing her!
53:11Architect!
53:12I order you to stop!
53:14But you made him human!
53:15He's ours!
53:17Give me your hand!
53:26Come on!
53:33Come on!
53:33Come on!
53:33Come on!
53:35Come on!
53:35Come on!
53:35Come on!
53:35Come on!
53:36Come on!
53:36Come on!
53:36Come on!
53:37Come on!
53:37Come on!
53:38Come on!
53:38Come on!
53:39Come on!
53:39Come on!
53:40Come on!
53:41Come on!
53:42Come on!
53:43Come on!
53:44Come on!
53:45Come on!
53:45Come on!
53:46Come on!
53:47Come on!
53:48Come on!
53:49Come on!
53:50Come on!
53:51Come on!
53:52Come on!
53:53Come on!
53:54Come on!
53:55Come on!
53:56Come on!
53:56Until the next time, Miss Smith.
54:22Did we stop them?
54:26Are you all right?
54:27Their control is gone.
54:29And I'm free.
54:30That's good.
54:32Oh, yes.
54:33It's good.
54:36I would be dead without you.
54:38We all would.
54:39You're amazing.
54:40The pair of you.
54:41Amazing.
54:42This is happiness, yes?
54:43Oh, yes.
54:45We did it.
54:46We did it.
54:47We did it.
54:48We did it.
54:48We did it.
54:50We did it.
54:52We did it.
54:54The government has refused to comment, but stalks and bubble shock have been withdrawn from
55:02our shelves, and the mass hysteria this afternoon is being put down to a chemical imbalance of
55:09the brain.
55:10Dad!
55:10What's brought this on?
55:19I thought I'd lost you.
55:21I had a bit of a turn, that's all.
55:24It's all over the news.
55:25Some chemicals escaped from that factory and gave everyone hallucinations.
55:30Oh, hello.
55:31Hello.
55:31Just checking everything's all right.
55:33It's very neighbourly.
55:34Yeah, well, sorry about before.
55:37Welcome to the neighbourhood.
55:39It's certainly been eventful.
55:40Is it always like this?
55:41No.
55:42This is a quiet day.
55:44And who's this?
55:45This is...
55:46Is...
55:49I suppose this is my son.
55:52My adopted son.
55:54Hello.
55:55And what's your name?
55:57I don't have one.
55:58Oh, sorry, no.
55:59It's an old family joke.
56:01It's called, um...
56:02Look at you, leaving your front door open after everything that's happened.
56:05Did you hear about the chemicals?
56:07Oh, it was a nightmare.
56:08I had a van chasing me around the bedroom saying, drink it.
56:13I told him to get off, but I wasn't having it.
56:15Well, haven't you unpacked yet?
56:17Alan, I did say that the longer things stay in boxes, the less it feels like a home.
56:22And... and you are?
56:23Sarah Jane Smith.
56:24I'm from over the road.
56:25This is my mother.
56:27What's he wearing?
56:28These are the clothes I was born in.
56:31Right.
56:32Oh, well, um, thank you very much.
56:34But if you don't mind, I've had a bit of a trauma.
56:37Family time.
56:37Thanks for calling in.
56:39OK, well, we'll... we'll be off.
56:40This woman is rude.
56:41Yes, definitely going.
56:43Come on, we'll go home.
56:44You don't have to.
56:45Oh, come on now.
56:47Invite the neighbours around, you'll never get rid of them.
56:48Next thing you know, it's holidays together.
56:50That is a recipe for disaster.
56:52No offence.
56:53Nice to meet you, Sarah Lou.
56:56So, there he was, chasing me around the bedroom with a bottle of pop.
57:00I said, that's novel.
57:01But next thing you know, her next door's doing the same thing.
57:04Oh, well, I'm here.
57:05I'll have that check, thanks.
57:07I'll give it a week.
57:08I've had to pay the removal, ma'am.
57:09We should have planned.
57:10That's Alan.
57:11No plans.
57:11But Yvonne's booked this fillet just outside Scalphers.
57:14It's gorgeous.
57:15But we've got to pay the rest of the deposit, so...
57:18Cheers.
57:24Cheers.
57:24And it's normal pop.
57:25Hooray for normal pop.
57:28How's your friend Kelsey?
57:29She's backtracking like mad.
57:31Saying it was all hallucination.
57:33No such thing as aliens.
57:34But we know better.
57:37Oh, that's more like it.
57:41This is good?
57:41Yep.
57:48How are you going to adopt him then?
57:50I mean, you need forms and things.
57:52Who are you going to say is real mummies?
57:54The Bane Mother.
57:55Mr. Smith sorted that.
57:58Officially done and dusted.
58:01All he needs now is a name.
58:02You can choose your own.
58:03I like yours, Maria.
58:05Maybe not.
58:05How about Jack?
58:09Josh?
58:10Nathan?
58:10Harry?
58:12Alistair?
58:13Luke?
58:14I like Luke.
58:15I like Luke.
58:17If you like Luke, I like Luke.
58:19That's the name I was always going to choose if ever I had kids.
58:23Except it never happened.
58:24But now it has.
58:26Luke Smith.
58:27You're a mum.
58:28I am.
58:29I never asked, have you got a boyfriend or...
58:39Well, there was only ever one man for me.
58:41Not for him.
58:43Nothing compared.
58:43I don't know.
58:44I don't know.
58:45I don't know.
58:46I don't know.
58:47I don't know.
58:48I don't know.
58:49I don't know.
58:50I don't know.
58:51I don't know.
58:52I don't know.
58:53I don't know.
58:54I don't know.
58:55I don't know.
58:56I don't know.
58:57I don't know.
58:58I don't know.
58:59I don't know.
59:00I don't know.
59:01I don't know.
59:02I don't know.
59:03I don't know.
59:04I don't know.
59:05I don't know.
59:06I don't know.
59:07I don't know.
59:08I don't know.
59:09I don't know.
59:10I don't know.
59:11I don't know.