00:00I was 18 years old when I got married. I belonged to a very conservative family, a baloch family, where good daughters never say no to their parents.
00:10My father wanted me to get married, and all I said was, if that makes you happy, I'll say yes. And of course, it was never a happy marriage.
00:21Just about after two years of getting married, about nine years ago, I made a car accident.
00:30But somehow, my husband fell asleep, and the car fell in the ditch.
00:40He managed to jump out, saved himself. I'm happy for him.
00:44But I stayed inside the car, and I sustained a lot of injuries.
00:50The list is a bit long. Don't get scared. I'm perfectly fine now.
00:54The radius of my right arm were fractured. The wrist was fractured.
01:01Shoulder bone and collar bone were fractured.
01:04My whole ribcage got fractured.
01:07And because of the ribcage injury, lungs and liver were badly injured.
01:11I couldn't breathe.
01:16I lost urinal bowel control. That's why I have to wear the bag wherever I go.
01:21But that injury that changed me and my life completely, as a person, and my perception towards living my life, was the spine injury.
01:32Three vertebra of my backbone were completely crushed.
01:36And I got paralyzed for the rest of my life.
01:38So this accident took place in a far-flung area, in the outskirts of a very small province, Balochistan, where there was no first aid, no hospital, no ambulance.
01:52I was in the middle of nowhere, in that toppled car.
01:56Many people came to rescue.
01:59They gave me CPR.
02:00They dragged me out of the car.
02:02And while they were dragging me out, I got the complete transsection of my spinal cord.
02:10I finally ended up in a hospital where I stayed for two and a half months.
02:15I underwent multiple surgeries.
02:18Doctors have put a lot of titanium in my arm.
02:21There's a lot of titanium at my back to fix my back.
02:24That's why people in Pakistan call me the Iron Lady of Pakistan.
02:36Those two and a half months in the hospital were dreadful.
02:42I will not make up stories just to inspire you.
02:45I was at the verge of despair.
02:48One day, doctor came to me.
02:50And he said, well, I heard that you wanted to be an artist, but you ended up being a housewife.
02:55I have a bad news for you.
02:58You won't be able to paint again.
03:00Because your wrist and your arm are so deformed, you won't be able to hold a pen again.
03:04And I stayed quiet.
03:08Next day, doctor came to me and said, your spine injury is so bad.
03:14You won't be able to walk again.
03:17I took a deep breath.
03:19And I said, it's all right.
03:22The next day, doctor came to me and said,
03:24because of your spine injury and the fixation that you have in your back,
03:28you won't be able to give birth to a child again.
03:34That day, I was devastated.
03:37I still remember.
03:39I asked my mother,
03:41why me?
03:42And that is where I started to question my existence.
03:48Why am I even alive?
03:50What's the point of living?
03:53I cannot walk.
03:54I cannot paint.
03:55Fine.
03:55I cannot be a mother.
03:57And we have this thing in our heads,
03:59being women,
03:59that we are incomplete without having children.
04:03I am going to be an incomplete woman for the rest of my life.
04:06What's the point?
04:07So, my mother said to me,
04:10this too shall pass.
04:14God has a greater plan for you.
04:17I don't know what it is,
04:19but he surely has.
04:27So, what kept me going was,
04:30one day I asked my brothers,
04:32I know I have a deformed hand,
04:35but I'm tired of looking at these white walls in the hospital
04:39and wearing these white scrubs.
04:41I'm getting tired of this.
04:42I want to add more colors to my life.
04:44I want to do something.
04:46Bring me some colors.
04:47Bring me some small canvas.
04:48I want to paint.
04:50So, the very first painting I made was
04:53on my dead bed,
04:55where I painted for the very first time.
04:57There were a lot of infections in my body,
05:03a lot of allergies.
05:05So, doctors wanted me to lie down on the bed straight.
