Skip to playerSkip to main contentSkip to footer
TurdLok
  • 5/26/2025
Three seasons of this comedy central series along with one big screen release back in a time where there was no politically correct.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00I've been running for 32 years, in and out of prison like a junkie jack-in-the-box.
00:13Change. Strength of an ape.
00:30Where was I? Oh, uh, right. Change. Change rising from... Oh, this doesn't turn out good.
00:51Can we change?
01:00I'm Jerry Blank, and this is my story.
01:08Stranglers with...
01:13Guess we'll never know. Oh, that's me!
01:17Mommy, I'm home!
01:19Can I help you?
01:29Uh, who are you, and what are you doing in my house?
01:32I think you have the wrong house, dear.
01:36I think I would know my own house.
01:39Yeah, this is it.
01:45Well, nice to have met you.
01:47I think we've got ourselves a little situation.
01:59Wow.
02:00Ah! Son of a...
02:03Bitches!
02:04God, I'm Jerry Blank!
02:06What did you say you are?
02:08Jerry Blank.
02:09Oh, my muck-a-lucks.
02:14Would you stay on the runner, please?
02:16So, uh, maybe you want to tell me who you are.
02:19I'm Sarah Blank.
02:20I'm married to your father.
02:22Well, doesn't that upset my mother?
02:24How do I put this delicately?
02:26Your mother's dead, your father's upstairs in a coma, and we have a son, Derek.
02:31So, thanks so much for coming by.
02:33I want my daddy.
02:34Miss, I'm sorry.
02:35Daddy!
02:36Miss!
02:36Daddy!
02:37Miss, would you...
02:38Daddy!
02:38Would you please stay on the runner?
02:40Daddy!
02:41Yes!
02:42Daddy!
02:43Daddy!
02:44Dr. Putney!
02:45Yes?
02:46Jerry Blank.
02:47Jerry Blank?
02:49I delivered you.
02:52I still have the scars.
02:54Born with a complete set of teeth.
02:56Medical marvel.
02:57Yeah.
02:58Dr. Putney, what's wrong with my daddy?
03:00Your father has what we call a stress-induced coma.
03:04You see, after you left home, your mother died of grief.
03:09Mother!
03:10Oh!
03:11No, may I keep these?
03:12Of course, Jerry, but I'll keep the urn.
03:15It's stainless steel.
03:17As I was saying, the stress of her demise, combined with anguish over your disappearance,
03:23led to this death-like rigor that you see before you.
03:29Oh, Pappy!
03:31I'm so sorry that I didn't call.
03:34Ah!
03:35What was that?
03:36Maybe it was just a nervous reaction.
03:38Oh, I poke needles in him all the time.
03:39I never get a response.
03:41Somehow, your mere presence is bringing him back to life.
03:46Quick, everyone, out into the hall!
03:49His slight movement defies all medical logic.
04:04Is my daddy's gonna be fixed now?
04:07Hard to say, Jerry, hard to say.
04:10This would be my advice.
04:15Stimulate him.
04:16Take him back to that magical time.
04:18When life was good and precious.
04:20And worth being conscious for.
04:22When he was still this little girl.
04:27That's it!
04:28I'm hesitant to ask.
04:31I'm picking my life up exactly where I left off.
04:33I'm gonna go back to high school and be the good girl I never was or had any desire to be.
04:38Maybe that'll help save my daddy.
04:40Well, it's a start, Jerry.
04:41But you have to do better than good.
04:43You can't reverse 32 years of depravity in a single day.
04:47You have to put some effort into it.
04:49We call it balancing the psychic equation.
04:53Who's we?
04:54You know, the people in my carpool.
04:56But the point is, you have to be special, Jerry.
05:00Special?
05:01You have to make the honor roll.
05:02Win the spelling bee.
05:04Be prom queen!
05:06Make the honor roll.
05:10Well, I've said enough.
05:11Thank you for coming, Doctor.
05:13Oh, hi.
05:26Mom!
05:27I'm home!
05:28Okay, who is that and why does he bother me?
05:31Jerry, this is our son, Derek.
05:34Let me give you a little advice, derelict.
05:37I think it'd be behoovey of you not to cut into my mommy time, alright?
05:41We're bonding.
05:42Mom, what's happening?
05:43It's alright, darling.
05:44Go to your room and lock the door.
05:52So, uh, where do I stowse me stuff?
05:55Alright, Jerry.
05:57You can have your old room back, but only until your father gets better.
06:01Oh, here's your mother.
06:04You won't even know I'm here.
06:07Hey, Winseys.
06:08What?
06:09I take chorizo and eggs on a flour tortilla.
06:11Go easy on the jalapenos.
06:12I got a bit of the squirties.
06:14Oh, God.
06:15I'm going to bed.
06:16Bed?
06:17Good night, Mommy.
06:19Good night, Mommy.
06:20Thanks.
06:21Wow.
06:22We're back.
06:23Whoa.
06:24Whoa.
06:25Whoa.
06:29Whoa.
06:30Whoa, whoa, whoa.
06:33What the hell is going on?
06:56How do I look?
06:57What did you do to my shirt?
06:59Well, I knew you'd want to take me to school on my first day, Mommy.
07:01Are you insane?
07:02Daddy, come on.
07:04She's in here.
07:05She's in here.
07:05She's in here.
07:07She's in here.
07:08I'm afraid.
07:20What if the kids don't like me?
07:36What if I don't fit in?
07:38What if the first day of high school is always scary, Jerry, especially the second time around?
07:44Just be yourself and if things don't work out, we'll know where the problem lies.
07:49Maybe I should go home and change.
07:55Get out of my car.
07:59Get out.
08:01Check out the wide load who got a ride from Mommy.
08:03Hey, that's the last time, old lady.
08:05God, you're suffocating me.
08:07I hate you.
08:08Pick me up at 315.
08:09Don't be late.
08:10Thanks, Mommy.
08:11Are you kidding me?
08:13God, mothers, I can be so clingy, right?
08:20Just don't want to see you grow up.
08:22Hey, check out the thumbsucker getting a ride from his Mommy.
08:26What a chump.
08:29Hey, don't worry.
08:31I'll change his diapers for you.
08:32Hi, I'm Jerry.
08:39Would you like to carry my books?