- 5/24/2025
John and Jeremy, friends and womanisers, go to weddings to seek out women to have flings with. They enjoy this experience till Jeremy finds out that John has fallen in love with Claire.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Did you know that you can get married here?
00:00:27In this old place?
00:00:28It's a bit haunted.
00:00:30What?
00:00:31No it doesn't.
00:00:32I actually think it's quite romantic.
00:00:33Romantic?
00:00:34What happens if you get married in a church?
00:00:35Churches are for boring people.
00:00:36Hey.
00:00:37It usually works.
00:00:38Maybe.
00:00:39But you promised me a massage.
00:00:40And I will.
00:00:41Later.
00:00:42Later?
00:00:43That's what you always say and then you just conveniently forget about it.
00:00:55But I forgot my oil.
00:00:56Well I've got some.
00:00:57Of course you have.
00:00:58What was that?
00:00:59What was what?
00:01:00I heard something.
00:01:01It was probably just a fox.
00:01:02No that...
00:01:03That was like a growl.
00:01:04Do you think it could be like one of them big wild cats?
00:01:15They will be gone.
00:01:23wild cats. Babe, there are no big wild cats around here. It's probably just a badger.
00:01:34A badger?
00:02:53No!
00:03:23Mike?
00:03:53Mike, he's just scaring me now! Stop it! Mike!
00:04:23Mike?
00:04:42Mike!
00:05:12Oh hi there, you must be Dylan. Yeah, hi. Welcome to Cedar Manor. Thank you, sorry I'm
00:05:30a bit late. No problem, I was starting to think that the wedding was cancelled. No,
00:05:35just got held up at Heathrow, my flight was delayed. Oh, been anywhere nice? China. Oh,
00:05:40business or pleasure? Business, I work for an anti-poaching organization. Oh wow, well let me
00:05:45show you around. So I take it you haven't been here before? No. So we cater for weddings of
00:05:59all different sizes. We have extensive grounds and buildings available, as you can see.
00:06:06We have the hot tub, sauna, and a pool, and then this gazebo right here where most people get
00:06:13married. Sounds ideal. Well, tell me more about this anti-poaching work, I'm intrigued.
00:06:20It's mainly educational. Spreading word about her killing animals is fine,
00:06:25but there's always some idiots that think her ground-up rhino horn will give them a hard-on.
00:06:30That's so silly, isn't it? So are you ever out there in Africa in the thick of it?
00:06:36No, no, I quit that a while back. Oh, um. My wife, she was targeted by poachers.
00:06:47Since that incident, I took a step back from ranger work. I'm so sorry to hear that.
00:06:54These things happen. I can't imagine how can anyone get over something like that?
00:07:24Very nice.
00:07:28It has a certain charm. A hidden charm.
00:07:40Rustic. A tad bougie.
00:07:45Quite elegant. I can see what they're trying to do.
00:07:55Back to the four-poster bed. What? No, that's my room, bitch.
00:08:03Oh, very nice.
00:08:07Regal. Boutique. Functional. Oi. And are you going to be consummating your marriage in here
00:08:16in 24 hours time? I'll consummate your arse in a minute.
00:08:19Who are you calling? I'm trying to get a hold of my dad.
00:08:26But there is no bloody reception. Running late again?
00:08:31Yep. You'd think he'd want to be on time for his only daughter's wedding, but...
00:08:36Oh, chill. He's probably stuck in traffic.
00:08:40Yeah.
00:08:46Babe! Hello!
00:08:57Right, dump your bags. We are having a cover. Just what the doctor ordered.
00:09:01I could use something stronger. Oh, was that bad, was it?
00:09:04Just the usual dickheads. Speaking of which,
00:09:08the boys should be right behind you, so come on.
00:09:16Oh, this is nice. The boss is actually making us tea for a change.
00:09:20Oh, less of your cheat.
00:09:23Uh, where's Lisa? She's still trying to get Wi-Fi.
00:09:26Well, this place is pretty cool. Amy, did you say you've been here before?
00:09:29Yeah, I told Lisa about this place, because I've been here before with my ex.
00:09:32Nice. Did you have a good time?
00:09:35Can't have been that good if it's your ex. Well, we certainly made use of the hot tub.
00:09:39Yes, Amy. Naughty girl.
00:09:42If it hasn't been since, I'm not going in it.
00:09:48Did anyone hear the story about this place? Oh, yeah. No.
00:09:51No? What story? Well, about a year or so ago, two locals went missing.
00:10:02The police found the remains of a party in a torn up tent down at the end of the grounds.
00:10:09But no bodies. What?
00:10:11No way. Don't be telling me that. I'll never get any sleep.
00:10:13Oh, baby, share a room with me. You're not getting any sleep anyway.
00:10:18Kinky. Oh, my God, and they never found them?
00:10:21No. And they don't know what happened?
00:10:24So the bodies could still be in the grounds somewhere.
00:10:26Shit, or in the cellar. Oh, please don't tell me this place has a cellar.
00:10:30There might be. Oh, great choice of location.
00:10:33There's nothing but bodies in the cellar. Shh.
00:10:35What bodies? Where? Oh, we were just discussing a horror film,
00:10:40and how'd you get on with the Wi-Fi? No, it's still not connecting.
00:10:45I mean, I unplugged the router, I reset the whole thing, and nothing is working.
00:10:52But you need Wi-Fi. You've got us to entertain you.
00:10:56It's not that. It's just I wanted to live stream the wedding, and I would use my phone,
00:11:01but the reception is crap, and I was promised that there would be Wi-Fi,
00:11:06but nothing seems to be working, and, you know, there are people who aren't going to be here,
00:11:11like my grandparents, and they're all expecting a live stream from me.
00:11:16Hey, it'll be all right. We'll get it fixed. And if not, it's still being videoed, isn't it?
00:11:23The most important thing is that you and Charlie are getting married tomorrow.
00:11:27That is definitely going to happen. It's your day. It's all about you and Charlie boy.
00:11:34But mostly you.
00:11:36Well, speak of the devil.
00:11:38Ladies!
00:11:40Hello, wifey.
00:11:42Not quite yet.
00:11:44Is everything all right?
00:11:45Wi-Fi is down.
00:11:47Oh, shit. Okay, well, Ben could take a look at it, right?
00:11:51Yeah, probably.
00:11:52All right, Kushti. So, shall we get this party started?
00:11:59Line them up!
00:12:00Oh, careful!
00:12:01Oh, don't worry. It won't stain.
00:12:03I think she was more worried about you wasting it.
00:12:06Don't worry. There is plenty more where this came from. Wifey?
00:12:10Well, no, I am not really drinking, and, uh, where should you be?
00:12:14I don't want you looking all hungover tomorrow.
00:12:17Oh, what are you trying to say?
00:12:19Ben, you are in charge of making sure he doesn't overdo it tonight, please.
00:12:23Yes, mum.
00:12:26Are you drinking this, or are you drinking that?
00:12:28Are you drinking this, then?
00:12:30Absolutely.
00:12:30Okay, fill her up. All right, come on.
00:12:33Don't be shy.
00:12:34I'm not being shy.
00:12:35Yeah? More?
00:12:40Chin, chin, Benjamin.
00:12:42Ladies, and this muppet.
00:12:45I'd like to thank you all for coming to watch me marry this absolute beauty.
00:12:52Here's to an unforgettable wedding.
00:12:56Cheers!
00:12:56Cheers!
00:13:01Yes, with the palm trees.
00:13:03With the cocktails. Those really good cocktails.
00:13:05What was that guy's name?
00:13:06The, the...
00:13:07Umbrellas.
00:13:08It was like Juan or something.
00:13:09That's my dad.
00:13:10My dad.
00:13:11Okay.
00:13:23And what time do you call this?
00:13:25I'm sorry, babe.
00:13:29You know how it is.
00:13:31Work commitments.
00:13:34So where's my room?
00:13:36Come on, this way.
00:13:43I'm afraid you're stuck with the single room.
00:13:47Although, I'm not sure you're going to fit in this bed.
00:13:51Don't worry.
00:13:52It reminds me of the ranger days.
00:13:55Teeny tiny camp beds.
00:14:06Can't believe my little girl's getting married.
00:14:09I'm not a little girl anymore.
00:14:11I am all grown up with a job and everything.
00:14:15You call it a job.
00:14:16But we both know fashion isn't a real job.
00:14:22Don't let Vanessa hear you say that.
00:14:24She'll probably slap you.
00:14:26To be honest, I think you'd come off second best.
00:14:29Sounds hot.
00:14:30Oh, Dan.
00:14:32No, I think you two would actually get on really well.
00:14:36I don't know.
00:14:37Maybe it's time to...
00:14:40Lisa.
00:14:42Dad.
00:14:44Come on.
00:14:44It's been a long time since...
00:14:48I just want to see you happy again.
00:14:50I know.
00:14:52I know.
00:14:52Yes.
00:14:53That reminds me.
00:14:55I've got something for you.
00:14:59I believe the traditional wine girl was something old.
00:15:04I got this for your mum when we were in Africa.
00:15:10And I want you to have it.
00:15:18Now, don't get emotional.
00:15:20You go join the party.
00:15:22I'll be down in a sec.
00:15:42Oh.
00:15:44You surprised me.
00:15:46Hi, I'm Vanessa.
00:15:48Dylan.
00:15:50We...
00:15:51We met before, didn't we?
00:15:53Yeah, the...
00:15:56The Christmas party at the Sky Garden.
00:16:00Ah, yes.
00:16:01A little glitzy for my taste.
00:16:05Yes, I remember you saying that you didn't really do fashion.
00:16:12Well, you certainly know how to pick out a shirt.
00:16:16That's saying something.
00:16:18Well, it is just a shirt and trousers.
00:16:22I can't really get that wrong.
00:16:25You'd be surprised.
00:16:29Can I get you a drink?
00:16:31Absolutely.
00:16:35I see you two are getting reacquainted.
00:16:39Vanessa's just giving me some fashion tips.
00:16:42Oh, well, I've been trying to do that for years.
00:16:45But it sounds like you're having a lot more success than I ever did.
00:16:49So I'll leave you guys to it.
00:16:51All right, great.
00:17:11What do you think you're doing?
00:17:21It's not gonna work.
00:17:26I am gonna go to bed.
00:17:30Okay, honey.
00:17:32Don't stay up too late.
00:17:35I thought we were gonna wait until we were married for you to start nagging.
00:17:39Yeah, well, I am just practicing.
00:17:44Good night, everyone.
00:17:45Bye.
00:17:50Hey, how's it going?
00:17:54How about me and you walk around the grounds?
00:17:58Oh, I'm really quite tired.
00:18:03You know, go catch some sleep.
00:18:05Really?
00:18:06Oh, maybe tomorrow then.
00:18:13Don't worry about it, mate.
00:18:15She'll be up for it tomorrow.
00:18:16Bridemaids are always gagging for it on the day, okay?
00:18:19Yeah.
00:18:19So chin up, go get some rest.
00:18:21I'll clean up here, okay?
00:18:22All right.
00:18:29Hi there.
00:18:30Hi.
00:18:33So you've been making eyes at me all night.
00:18:37I thought there was something on my face.
00:18:40Could be if you wanted to.
00:18:42Oh, yeah?
00:18:45Such as?
00:18:50You see, I think it's just better if I show you.
00:18:59My heart is saying no.
00:19:02But your dick's saying yes.
00:19:05Your dick always says yes.
00:19:08Come on.
00:19:09She's not married yet.
00:19:14True.
00:19:15But who knows?
00:19:21The world might end before then.
00:19:27Coming.
00:19:30I'll tell you what, Georgie, you'd better leave me after my death.
00:19:32Oh my god, don't be so idiotic.
00:19:45Georgie, Georgie, Georgie, the window!
00:19:57Georgie, Georgie, Georgie!
00:20:15Georgie!
00:20:45Georgie!
00:21:14All set?
00:21:16For the big day?
00:21:20Yeah.
00:21:21You?
00:21:23Yeah.
00:21:31Don't fuck this up.
00:21:45Where'd you go, mate?
00:21:56Uh, just for a wander.
00:22:06You didn't see Georgie, did you, on your travels?
00:22:10She went in her room.
00:22:12Oh.
00:22:13I bet she was playing hard to get.
00:22:16Then?
00:22:19Yeah?
00:22:22Nothing.
00:22:25Goodnight.
00:22:32Morning, Bridie!
00:22:35Oh, good morning.
00:22:37You're getting married today!
00:22:40Stop, it's not normal to have this much energy in the morning.
00:22:44Plant-based diet.
00:22:45I keep telling you.
00:22:47No, no way.
00:22:47I'm not giving up my meat and bacon.
00:22:51Speaking of, can I bring you some breakfast?
00:22:55No, no, I don't want to be bloated.
00:22:58Okay, but at least eat something.
00:22:59Nobody wants a dead bride.
00:23:04A piece of bacon.
00:23:05Oh, please.
00:23:05Amazing.
00:23:07We seem to be missing the bride.
00:23:09Oh, she's just staying in her room until the big moment.
00:23:12We don't want to see in the groom.
00:23:13It's bad luck.
00:23:15What about the groom?
00:23:15Are we still in bed, penning, baking, sewing?
00:23:18Has anyone seen Georgie?
00:23:19Probably still trying to avoid Ben.
00:23:21What?
00:23:22Nothing.
00:23:23She's staying in your room, isn't she?
00:23:25Well, I thought so, but she wasn't there before I went to sleep.
00:23:27Oh, weird.
00:23:28Oh my god, she thinks she's with Dylan.
00:23:30No.
00:23:31Right, I didn't think he was her type, is he?
00:23:33Well, that settles it.
00:23:35Settles what?
00:23:36Oh, unless she was with Amy.
00:23:38Who?
00:23:39Was Georgie staying in your room?
00:23:40Um, no.
00:23:41Must be Dylan then.
00:23:44Dylan?
00:23:46You're doing Lisa's hair and makeup, aren't you?
00:23:48Yeah.
00:23:48When you go up, take that with you.
00:23:50Try to get to eat at least some.
00:23:51Yeah, sure thing.
00:23:53All right, ladies.
00:23:55I'm going to take this to the groom.
00:23:57See you at the wedding.
00:23:57Bye.
00:24:01Anyone got a napkin?
00:24:03Brekkies.
00:24:07Cheers.
00:24:13You all right, mate?
00:24:15Are you a bit nervous?
00:24:21I'm about to tell you.
00:24:25Do not leave this room.
00:24:28All right.
00:24:29Yeah, that's what best for you.
00:24:31All right.
00:24:32Yeah, that's what best men are for.
00:24:38Last night.
00:24:39Yeah?
00:24:39I was with Georgie.
00:24:44I'm sorry, mate.
00:24:45We go way back and, you know, we've always been fond of each other.
00:24:53Mate, it's not the end of the world.
00:24:55And you've endured and you get on to me now, so.
00:25:05No, that's not it.
00:25:08No?
00:25:09While we were at it, we were attacked.
00:25:14Attacked?
00:25:16This is going to sound insane.
00:25:23By a giant crocodile.
00:25:25A crocodile?
00:25:28It got Georgie.
00:25:31Wait, this is, this is a prank, right?
00:25:33No.
00:25:34No, I'm dead serious.
00:25:38Came out of nowhere and it's.
00:25:45Bit her in half.
00:25:47What's a crocodile doing around here?
00:25:53I don't know, Ben.
00:25:53That doesn't matter.
00:25:56The thing is, I can't tell anyone because then they will know that I was with Georgie
00:26:02and the wedding.
00:26:05Just keep an eye out for it.
00:26:12In case it, like, shows up.
00:26:14All right.
00:26:25Oh, you look lovely.
00:26:33Charlie.
00:26:34Charlie.
00:26:36Dad.
00:26:37Hi, Mom.
00:26:38Hello, darling.
00:26:39How are you?
00:26:41Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm okay.
00:26:43Yeah.
00:26:44You seem a bit anxious.
00:26:45Why so nervous?
00:26:46This is the easy bit.
00:26:48It's the next 50 years.
00:26:49It's a hard bit.
00:26:51Just keep your eyes peeled.
00:26:53Okay.
00:26:55So.
00:27:14My beautiful daughter.
00:27:17Hi, sorry.
00:27:21You look stunning, darling.
00:27:23You don't know where Georgie is, do you?
00:27:26No.
00:27:27It's just that we kind of thought, never mind.
00:27:31No one's seen her this morning.
00:27:33We have no idea where she is.
00:27:35Where could she have gone?
00:27:37She had a few drinks last night, yeah?
00:27:39Yeah.
00:27:41She hasn't got a reason to vanish.
00:27:43I mean, her depression, anxiety?
00:27:47No.
00:27:49Could she swim?
00:27:51I think so.
00:27:51Yeah.
00:27:53Okay, I'm going to scout the grounds.
00:27:55You stay here.
00:28:51So.
00:29:21So.
00:29:51So.
00:30:21So.
00:30:51So.
00:30:57So.
00:31:09So.
00:31:15So.
00:31:21So.
00:31:23I hate to say this, but I've got another appointment after this.
00:31:28Okay.
00:31:30All right, yeah.
00:31:37Thanks for so well.
00:31:40We can't find Georgie.
00:31:43Okay, can we go without her?
00:31:46Without?
00:31:48Dylan's looking for her now.
00:31:49Give us a few minutes.
00:31:52Okay.
00:31:54No word?
00:31:55No.
00:31:57The Reverend is getting impatient.
00:31:59We may have to go ahead anyway.
00:32:02One last go.
00:32:04Fingers crossed.
00:32:12Fuck.
00:32:16Oh, shit.
00:32:21Shit.
00:32:30If he doesn't turn up in two minutes, we'll have to go ahead without him.
00:32:34No.
00:32:35No, there's no way I'm getting married without my dad.
00:32:38You might have to, babe.
00:32:42Are you just going to walk me down the aisle?
00:32:45Well, I can't, can I?
00:32:47That would be weird.
00:32:49I guess I could.
00:32:50I've always been, like, a super good man, anyway.
00:32:55I'd like that.
00:32:56Fuck.
00:33:19Is it Dad?
00:33:21We can't find him.
00:33:22He's behind that.
00:33:33Hey, did you come with the package?
00:33:49Ladies and gentlemen, and these days I'm obligated to say, and those who identify as neither,
00:34:08it's lovely to see you all here today,
00:34:10and I'm so glad that you can make the journey in these difficult times.
00:34:13Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of the almighty God.
00:34:44Oh!
00:34:49Get up, get up!
00:34:50Oh, get out of here!
00:34:51Get up!
00:34:52Get up!
00:34:53Please, come on, come on, get up!
00:34:54Get up!
00:34:55There are just two of them!
00:34:56There are just two of them!
00:35:14Oh!
00:35:16Fuck!
00:35:18Ah, ah, ah!
00:35:20Fuck.
00:35:22Fuck...
00:35:28Mikhoov...
00:35:29Mikhoov...
00:35:30Mikhoov's got a...
00:35:43Wait...
00:35:43In here! In here!
00:35:54What the fuck just happened?
00:35:55I don't know.
00:36:00Get her open!
00:36:06What the fuck?
00:36:09Guys, I'm gonna need first aid.
00:36:12What is happening?
00:36:14Why is this happening?
00:36:15Why is this happening to me on my wedding day?
00:36:19First my birthday goes missing and then my dad goes missing and then...
00:36:31Do you think he got them?
00:36:33Do you think he's eaten them as well?
00:36:36What if it finds us?
00:36:37What if it gets in it?
00:36:38Don't worry, it can't get in here.
00:36:54He's the Reverend.
00:36:59Thank you, thank you.
00:37:02Are you alright?
00:37:03Yes, I'm alive, thank God.
00:37:05But others weren't so lucky.
00:37:08Is it just you?
00:37:10Did you see anyone else? Have you seen Amy, Vy, my dad?
00:37:13I don't know, everyone went in different directions.
00:37:16So what do we do?
00:37:18Well, call emergency services and hope that thing doesn't get anyone else in the meantime.
00:37:25It's gonna be easier said than done. There's no bars.
00:37:27Is there a landline?
00:37:29No.
00:37:30Great.
00:37:32Then we're fucked.
00:37:35Sorry.
00:37:37Don't worry, I think I may have just said similar words myself.
00:37:42What now then?
00:37:44Let's pray.
00:37:46Dear Heavenly Father, we pray for your help in these trying times.
00:37:51We pray for you to look after us and to protect us against the beast.
00:38:06Where's Neil? I've got to find Neil.
00:38:11No, he went the other way.
00:38:14The car keys.
00:38:17Neil's got the keys. Maybe we can make it to the car.
00:38:37Where's Lisa? We have to find Lisa!
00:38:39Don't worry, look, I'm sure she's fine. The most important thing is we get safe and we get help.
00:38:43Let's try and get to my car, I've got keys.
00:38:55No!
00:38:57No!
00:38:59No!
00:39:01No!
00:39:03No!
00:39:05No!
00:39:10No!
00:39:12No!
00:39:15No!
00:39:21Tabby?
00:39:22I'll start it up.
00:39:35Okay, pull yourself together.
00:39:38When in times of stress, always go back to your breathing.
00:39:51Oh, come on.
00:40:05Tabby?
00:40:23Maybe we should go back, he might be wondering where we are.
00:40:25Or if we're still alive.
00:40:27No, maybe we should just wait here and see if someone comes and finds us.
00:40:39Sarah, don't move.
00:40:50Oh, my God!
00:40:52Oh, my God!
00:40:54Oh, my God!
00:40:56Oh, my God, what do we do?
00:40:58What do we do?
00:41:05We need to get out of here!
00:41:06Oh, my God!
00:41:23Sarah!
00:41:24Sarah, help me!
00:41:26Sarah!
00:41:37Oh, my God!
00:41:49Christ!
00:41:50You scared the shit out of me!
00:41:52Couldn't face your screaming.
00:41:55What the hell is that?
00:41:57And where is it?
00:41:58It's a crocodile, but I don't know what species.
00:42:01I thought you were an expert.
00:42:02No, not exactly.
00:42:04But I do know you shouldn't be living in this climate.
00:42:07And it's also very dangerous.
00:42:10Tell me something I don't know.
00:42:12You've got a twig in your hair.
00:42:15Come on.
00:42:17Come on, let me untangle it.
00:42:18Come on, let me untangle it.
00:42:29Is that your distressed look?
00:42:36You didn't answer my question.
00:42:38Yes.
00:42:41It's over.
00:42:44Yeah, and how are we going to kill it?
00:42:48I don't intend to kill it.
00:42:50I intend to catch it.
00:42:56Right.
00:42:58We need a plan.
00:43:00Agreed.
00:43:02Don't look at me.
00:43:04I'm qualified to give spiritual guidance and the like.
00:43:07Escaping man-eating crocodiles is not my speciality.
00:43:11We just need to kill the bloody thing, sir.
00:43:14Find a big gun and shoot the bastard.
00:43:17And where do you propose we get a gun from?
00:43:21There was a pair of shotguns on the farm.
00:43:26Great.
00:43:28We'll just teleport to your parents' farm then and get one, shall we?
00:43:31All right.
00:43:33Guns are out.
00:43:35Are we going to kill this thing?
00:43:37We don't have to kill it.
00:43:39It is still one of God's creatures.
00:43:41And it's clearly upset.
00:43:42It's upset?
00:43:44The crocodile is upset?
00:43:47Oh, well, that's all right then.
00:43:50But everybody's dying because the crocodile is having a bad day.
00:43:54I didn't mean...
00:43:56I am upset, okay?
00:43:58In case you hadn't noticed, my wedding day is ruined and people we know are dead.
00:44:03All right.
00:44:06Just calm down.
00:44:08Don't tell me what to do.
00:44:10Don't tell me to calm down.
00:44:19At least we aren't live streaming this.
00:44:22Can you imagine?
00:44:24At least someone would come to our rescue.
00:44:28Oh, God, I wish my dad was here.
00:44:31He'd know what to do.
00:44:34If he's even still out there.
00:44:37If anyone knows how to deal with a crocodile, it's definitely your dad.
00:44:44Shit, it's Amy.
00:44:47Amy?
00:44:49Amy?
00:44:51Amy?
00:44:53Amy?
00:44:55Amy?
00:44:57Amy?
00:45:28Oh, God.
00:45:33Oh, shit, shit. Come on, Amy, drive.
00:45:37It's relentless.
00:45:45Catch it?
00:45:47What do you mean, catch it?
00:45:49Exactly that. Take it to a zoo and tag it.
00:45:52Really?
00:45:53So that thing has run rampage at your daughter's wedding,
00:45:56killed I don't know how many people, and you want to catch it and keep it as a pet?
00:46:01That's what I do. I protect animals.
00:46:03Protect them? What about the humans that have died?
00:46:07Oh, so you don't care about humans.
00:46:11Some of them.
00:46:13Well, I bet you'd have a different view if that thing got your daughter.
00:46:17She'll be fine.
00:46:19Not to put a down on things, but how do you know?
00:46:21That thing could have got her like it got Tabby.
00:46:23Practically bitter in half.
00:46:24And it got the cameraman and chewed him.
00:46:26Because I know, all right?
00:46:30She'll be fine.
00:46:31Oh, that's easy for you to say.
00:46:33Didn't attack you.
00:46:35Yes, it did.
00:46:38Shit.
00:46:40When did that happen?
00:46:42Earlier, in the barn.
00:46:45Oh, God, it looks nasty.
00:46:47Take a look.
00:46:51Shit, that is.
00:46:58Shit, Amy's in trouble.
00:47:02Holy Father, we beseech you to help our friend Amy in her time of need.
00:47:08Please forgive her sins, whatever they may be,
00:47:11and deliver her safely to us.
00:47:14Just like your Son, our Saviour, Jesus Christ, delivered us from evil.
00:47:19Amen.
00:47:22One question, Reverend.
00:47:25Where was your Holy Father when the crocodile started to kill everyone a minute ago?
00:47:33Why should he help Amy when he didn't help them?
00:47:35Well, my parents were wherever they are.
00:47:38Wherever they are?
00:47:40I don't know.
00:47:42The Lord moves in mysterious ways.
00:47:46Oh, yes, he does.
00:47:49He put a killer crocodile in the middle of fucking Hampshire.
00:47:58It doesn't get much more mysterious, does it?
00:48:00Charles, Amy is in serious danger.
00:48:03This is where all that yoga training pays off.
00:48:33Fuck.
00:49:03Fuck.
00:49:31He saved her.
00:49:34Thank God.
00:49:37Thank my dad.
00:49:39Did you see him?
00:49:42I just know that was him.
00:49:45The crocodile is still out there, so what are we going to do?
00:49:51Wait.
00:49:59Well, I guess we know what happened to Georgie then.
00:50:04I just wish she told someone before she wandered off on her own.
00:50:10It doesn't seem like her.
00:50:15I'll be my dad.
00:50:29Are you all right? Did he get you?
00:50:31I'm fine.
00:50:34Oh, God. I need to find my dad.
00:50:56We need to get you some proper first aid.
00:50:58Okay.
00:50:59There might be a first aid kit in the pool house.
00:51:03Let's go.
00:51:04Come on.
00:51:23I've got this.
00:51:33Mmm.
00:51:35Shit.
00:52:02It's not pretty.
00:52:05I'm sorry, I can't deal with her being in the pool like that.
00:52:11We'll move you in a minute.
00:52:16Right. Let's see what we can do.
00:52:19You know, I've never seen this side to you before.
00:52:24I thought you were just this womanising playboy guy who told women he saved leopards for a living.
00:52:31But I don't think that's the real you.
00:52:35After my wife died, I was the real me.
00:52:41It is the real me.
00:52:44Maybe you're living in the past.
00:52:49Maybe.
00:52:52There. Try again.
00:52:57You know, for someone with that proper job, you're pretty useful.
00:53:05Maybe we need to work on your flirting a bit.
00:53:18It's Lisa.
00:53:19Where?
00:53:21She's trying to send a message. Top window.
00:53:35Is that Morse code?
00:53:37Yeah. She remembers.
00:53:40Wow.
00:53:41What's she saying?
00:53:43Charlie's wounded. Are you okay?
00:53:48Thank God for text speak.
00:53:53Question for you, Reverend.
00:53:55Yes?
00:53:56Being a man of the cloth, why do you think God has done something like this?
00:54:00If I say he moves in mysterious ways...
00:54:03Wouldn't cut it.
00:54:05Then I don't know, I'm afraid. I'm stumped.
00:54:09You don't think it's because we're all evil? We deserve to die?
00:54:13No, no, no, no. There's lots of good people here.
00:54:17There were.
00:54:19Were.
00:54:25You know, I don't know.
00:54:28You know, I do wonder.
00:54:32All these natural disasters, hurricanes, floods, fires.
00:54:38People that survive, they often thank God to be alive.
00:54:43But it's the ones that die I think about.
00:54:46What did they do?
00:54:48If God sent the hurricane and the floods, why did he let some people die and some survive? You know?
00:54:54So what do you think?
00:54:56I think your purpose is here.
00:54:59Is this some kind of test or is it just a coincidence?
00:55:03I don't believe in such things as coincidences.
00:55:06You do think it happened for a reason?
00:55:09Whatever reasons they may be.
00:55:11Who knows? Maybe this is your moment.
00:55:14Your martyr moment.
00:55:19Maybe you're the one that's going to save us and deliver us.
00:55:25Yes, maybe.
00:55:29Right. My dad is in the pool house with Amy and V.
00:55:34Croc is doing laps of this house, so we just need to time it right so we can get them over here.
00:55:40Where do you want me?
00:55:42You stay here. You call to me as soon as you see it coming.
00:55:46I'll signal to them from upstairs and then we just need somebody by the back door.
00:55:51Allow me.
00:55:55Okay.
00:56:06I'm not seeing it.
00:56:08It's going for the pool house.
00:56:20Right.
00:56:21You don't think it's...
00:56:23Humans don't knock like that.
00:56:27I've never seen a croc use a door handle.
00:56:30Yet.
00:56:33Shit. We need to distract it. We need to get away from there.
00:56:39Wait.
00:56:42Oh my god.
00:56:45Hey! Hey crocodile! Come and get me!
00:56:49The Reverend's using himself as a decoy. You tell me as soon as the coast is clear.
00:56:53Over here!
00:56:56Okay. Get ready.
00:57:20Go!
00:57:45God does work in mysterious ways.
00:57:50Easy. Easy.
00:57:52What's wrong?
00:57:54Just a bit of collateral damage. I'll be fine.
00:58:01So is this all of us?
00:58:04What are your thoughts?
00:58:06Why is this thing here?
00:58:08Did someone put it here?
00:58:11No.
00:58:12I found its nest and half a tent.
00:58:16And this.
00:58:21I don't know why it's here. I don't know how it survived.
00:58:24But that's why I need to capture it.
00:58:26Capture it?
00:58:28What? Like take it alive?
00:58:31Mate, I know you're all for saving the wildlife, but that thing has killed dozens of people, including my family.
00:58:37And it's trying to get us. Now if it's easier to kill it, I say kill it!
00:58:41I agree.
00:58:43I agree.
00:58:45Dad, I know you want to save it, but that thing is dangerous.
00:58:50You're already injured. Can we please just be sensible?
00:58:57If we can capture it, if it's at all possible, let's do that.
00:59:02So now what?
00:59:03We stay put. We batten down the hatches. Keep it out.
00:59:07We've got food. We can survive.
00:59:09Until someone comes to help us or we can find some opportunity to escape.
00:59:14In the meantime, we shut and bolt the doors.
00:59:18We shut the windows. We double-check them.
00:59:20And we make weapons. Knives, sticks, boiling water.
00:59:24Whatever we can to hurt it. To slow it down. To trap it.
00:59:28We make this place a fortress.
00:59:34I don't see the point in this.
00:59:36It's a hotel. It's not like we're going to find heavy-duty rope or a tranquiliser gun.
00:59:42If you do find a tranquiliser gun, use it on me.
00:59:50It's starting to sting a little.
01:00:07Nothing up there but a load of old bedsheets.
01:00:10I only found a couple of kitchen knives.
01:00:12I don't think anyone expected this place to be under siege.
01:00:15I found a fire poker and croquet mallets.
01:00:24What are these?
01:00:26They're clothes.
01:00:29They're your clothes, aren't they?
01:00:33You were wearing them last night, I remember.
01:00:35There are photos of us together.
01:00:38So what were they doing stashed downstairs?
01:00:41I went on a walk last night after everyone had gone to bed.
01:00:46And I was a little drunk.
01:00:49I couldn't see where I was going.
01:00:51I couldn't see where I was going.
01:00:55I was a little drunk.
01:00:57I couldn't see where I was going and I walked face first into the pond.
01:01:02When I got back, I threw them down there because I didn't want anyone to see me soaking wet.
01:01:12I cut myself when I was in the pond.
01:01:15They've got to have a sign or a fence or something. It's insane.
01:01:20Bullshit!
01:01:22You were with Georgie, weren't you?
01:01:24No.
01:01:25Don't lie to me.
01:01:27I know you were with her. Just tell me the truth.
01:01:30I know you've always had a thing for her.
01:01:33Okay, we went on the walk together.
01:01:36But that's all that happened, I swear.
01:01:39The crocodile attacked her and I freaked out.
01:01:45You're a fucking liar!
01:01:48Do you know how I know?
01:01:50I've told plenty of lies.
01:01:53I should drag you out there and feed you to the fucking crocs.
01:01:56Dad, that's stupid. Please.
01:01:58Tell me why I shouldn't.
01:02:00Much of it usually needs to fit the crime.
01:02:03Oh, it does.
01:02:05Stop!
01:02:07Enough people have died today.
01:02:09You don't need another, no matter how much you think you deserve.
01:02:14I'm so sorry. It meant nothing.
01:02:18God, what an excuse.
01:02:21So when you proposed to me, did that mean nothing?
01:02:25Or our wedding vows, if we had got that far, would they have meant nothing?
01:02:30I'm so done with you.
01:02:34Arsehole.
01:02:43I'll be right back.
01:02:45You don't say a word.
01:02:49And you, give me that.
01:03:03My life is a mess, Amy.
01:03:07Oh, God, it's a disaster.
01:03:11I have a pointless job that serves no real purpose.
01:03:16Something my dad likes to remind me of every time he sees me.
01:03:22My wedding day has gone from shit to worse.
01:03:26And I just found out that my fiancé has been shagging one of my friends.
01:03:33My friend who is now dead.
01:03:40And to top it off, we are still being hunted by the crocodile from hell.
01:03:49Not going to lie, you're not living your best life right now.
01:03:55But your job isn't pointless.
01:03:58Millions of people appreciate what you do.
01:04:01And as for Charlie, it's a good job you found out now.
01:04:05Imagine if you'd married him.
01:04:07Once a cheat, always a cheat.
01:04:10True.
01:04:12We're going to avenge your friend's death and kill that damn crocodile.
01:04:16Yeah.
01:04:18Good. Is there anything else I can help you with?
01:04:21Yeah. Make me a sandwich. I'm fucking starving.
01:04:37So what? We just wait until someone finds us?
01:05:06I'm guessing.
01:05:09It'll take ages.
01:05:11I know. And we don't even have the Wi-Fi to entertain us.
01:05:19Well, I guess I'll make a burrito.
01:05:22Good idea. I'll see if anyone else wants one.
01:05:37It's in the house! The crocodile's in the house!
01:05:58It's inside! It's down there!
01:06:03It can't climb stairs, can it?
01:06:05It'll figure them out. We need to block the stairs.
01:06:36Oh, for fuck's sake.
01:06:44Look at it.
01:06:50Stop it.
01:06:53Lisa, are you okay?
01:06:55Yeah, we're all right.
01:06:58I'm not sure I trust this door, though.
01:07:00Stay there. I'll figure it out.
01:07:06Are you guys okay?
01:07:08Yeah. What now?
01:07:10I have a revolver in the car.
01:07:13You've had a gun this whole time?
01:07:16I keep it for emergencies.
01:07:18And it's only just now become an emergency?
01:07:22Now, there's one problem.
01:07:24The keys are on the stand next to my coat.
01:07:45Is that the end of it?
01:07:46Yeah.
01:07:47Okay.
01:07:56Come on, then.
01:08:02Where the fuck's the crocodile?
01:08:12We got him!
01:08:18I'm going out the window.
01:08:26Good luck.
01:09:26Fuck.
01:09:37Cock it.
01:09:39I'll do safety.
01:10:39Dad!
01:11:01Kill this thing now!
01:11:09Dad?
01:11:12What was that?
01:11:15That?
01:11:18It's a bad idea.
01:11:21Now, listen.
01:11:23It's up to you two now.
01:11:26You're going to have to work out how to kill it.
01:11:29Think about everything I've taught you.
01:11:33Use your initiative.
01:11:35I know you can do it.
01:11:37Okay.
01:11:48Alright, think.
01:11:50Think. What do we have?
01:11:51What can we use?
01:11:55You lure it in.
01:11:58Where are we headed with this?
01:12:01You're on your own there.
01:12:03No, I think we need less direct methods.
01:12:17Glasses slow it down.
01:12:19Yeah.
01:12:21What?
01:12:29We set fire to it.
01:12:32I like the way you think.
01:12:35And we have flares.
01:12:38So, we take the flares and we guide it to an outbuilding and shut the door and set fire to it.
01:12:46We could use the pool house.
01:12:48We could drop it in the pool.
01:12:50No, no, we just climb out.
01:12:52We'll come and drain it.
01:12:59Maybe we don't have to.
01:13:11What's that?
01:13:14It's venison from Neil's farm.
01:13:17It's supposed to be for dinner.
01:13:21Don't fuck this up.
01:13:23I mean, it's a shame to waste it.
01:13:40Make her proud.
01:14:05Fuck.
01:14:34Fuck.
01:14:54Fuck.
01:15:21Come on.
01:15:33Come on.
01:15:44Get into the pool.
01:15:52Over here.
01:16:00Come on.
01:16:29Come on.
01:16:52Come on.
01:17:14It's very rough.
01:17:24You're late.
01:17:26What can I say?
01:17:28You two make a great team.
01:17:33What's that?
01:17:43We need to get you to a hospital.
01:17:45Hospital?
01:17:47Yes.
01:17:48Your leg's about to drop off and I want you in one piece.
01:17:52You want me in one piece?
01:17:55I don't know.
01:17:56I don't know.
01:17:57I don't know.
01:17:58I don't know.
01:17:59I don't know.
01:18:00I don't know.
01:18:01I don't know.
01:18:02I don't know.
01:18:03I don't know.
01:18:04I don't know.
01:18:05I don't know.
01:18:06I don't know.
01:18:07I don't know.
01:18:08I don't know.
01:18:09I don't know.
01:18:10I don't know.
01:18:11I don't know.
01:18:12I don't know.
01:18:13I don't know.
01:18:14I don't know.
01:18:15I don't know.
01:18:16I don't know.
01:18:17I don't know.
01:18:18I don't know.
01:18:19I don't know.
01:18:20I don't know.
01:18:21I don't know.
01:18:22I don't know.
01:18:23I don't know.
01:18:24I don't know.
01:18:25I don't know.
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01:18:28I don't know.
01:18:29I don't know.
01:18:30I don't know.
01:18:31I don't know.
01:18:32I don't know.
01:18:33I don't know.
01:18:34I don't know.
01:18:35I don't know.
01:18:36I don't know.
01:18:37I don't know.
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01:18:39I don't know.
01:18:40I don't know.
01:18:41I don't know.
01:18:42I don't know.
01:18:43I don't know.
01:18:44I don't know.
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01:18:54I don't know.
01:18:55I don't know.
01:18:56I don't know.
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01:18:58I don't know.
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01:19:00I don't know.
01:19:01I don't know.
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01:20:00I don't know.
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01:20:47I don't know.
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