Limp Man With A Hearing Problem

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a male escort named, 'The Punisher', who testified at the Diddy trial. He released a memoir outlining alleged sexual interactions with the accused. We also find out that he had erectile dysfunction issues and hearing problems.

Transcript

00:00What is wrong with you?

00:025-Hour Energy is giving me $10,000 to have the ultimate summer!

00:07I'm not giving you $10,000.

00:09They're giving everyone the chance to enter to win $10,000.

00:12Just go to 5hourenergy.com to enter.

00:21Okay, more interesting testimony at the Diddy trial.

00:25An exotic male dancer known as the Punisher.

00:30He included his sexual experiences with Diddy and Cassie.

00:35And he's actually written a memoir about it.

00:38His memoir is about erectile dysfunction as well.

00:42Let me get the name of that.

00:44I'm the Punisher, that's the author.

00:46It's very graphic.

00:48Written by the Punisher.

00:51How many books?

00:53Hi, uh...

00:54Is this, uh...

00:55Hi, welcome to Borders.

00:56Yeah, Borders.

00:57Yeah, I was gonna say.

00:58Borders.

00:58How can I help you?

00:59Uh, yeah, I'm looking for a brand new book by, uh, The Punisher.

01:03Oh, the author's name is?

01:04The Punisher.

01:05Oh, yeah, that's the name.

01:06Yeah, no, it's not The Punisher comic book or anything to do with that.

01:09The man's name is The Punisher.

01:11It's about erectile dysfunction.

01:14Oh, my goodness.

01:15Is it called In Search of Freezer Meat?

01:17Is that it?

01:18I don't know what it's called.

01:19I don't know what it's called.

01:20It is.

01:20I believe it is.

01:21Is that what it is?

01:22Yes.

01:22Then, yes.

01:23Yeah, we have that, actually.

01:24I was here for the comic book, but now he's got me interested in this other book.

01:28Yep.

01:29He took the stand yesterday in Diddy's federal criminal trial, and he told the jury that

01:35he actually wrote about Diddy and Cassie in his book, In Search of Freezer Meat, he testified

01:40he did not name them in the book instead of just referring to them as a married wealthy

01:45couple, and we found the pages where he talks about their sexual encounters.

01:52Oh, no way.

01:52Is it just?

01:53It's wild, you guys.

01:55Okay.

01:55It's wild.

01:55I'll give you a little bit of it here.

01:58Oh, don't.

01:58Please.

01:58No.

01:58Yeah, I mean, it's not.

01:59I'm not getting sexy with it.

02:01I'm just reading it.

02:02Okay, just reading it.

02:03Normal.

02:03He gets a call.

02:04Someone asked for an escort, right?

02:06Yep.

02:06He says, I knock on the door.

02:07It opens.

02:08Literally the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

02:10She's flawlessly stunning.

02:11She greeted me with a huge smile.

02:13It was clear she was in a bathrobe with nothing underneath.

02:15She led me into the living room.

02:17The room was dimly lit, but empty.

02:20She said she wasn't interested in my dancing, because he was an exotic dancer.

02:23Okay.

02:24She said that her husband had a voyeur fetish and enjoyed watching her.

02:28She wanted us to sit across from each other while centrally covering ourselves with baby

02:32oil.

02:32He was into baby oil.

02:34He's really into baby oil, dude.

02:36The goal was to make it look hot and sexy while her husband watched from a distance across

02:40the room.

02:41Most importantly, we were supposed to act like her husband wasn't there and never acknowledge

02:45him.

02:46She asked me to change into a towel and handed me $800 cash.

02:50He said he was kind of creeped out by the whole thing, but he thought, okay, 800 bucks.

02:54I can't say no to that.

02:56He said, we sat across from each other, but close enough that if we both sat forward, we

02:59were within reach.

02:59We started to rub and caress each other's bodies.

03:02There was a buildup of desire.

03:04I see movement from the corner of my eye.

03:07Oh, no.

03:08The husband had entered the room.

03:10That's Diddy.

03:10And although he was not close to us, I could make out what was going on.

03:14He was naked with one of those Muslim head coverings that only revealed his eyes.

03:19So his face is completely covered.

03:22He was in like the top of like a burqa style?

03:24Yes.

03:24So that no one would know it was Diddy.

03:26Wow.

03:26Right?

03:27Just his eyes revealed.

03:29He had a bottle of Astro Glide in his hand and he was madly whacking his meat with the

03:33other hand.

03:33Yeah, I bet.

03:34Like you could hear the whacking from across the room.

03:36And he says, here Chuck, if you'd like to...

03:39Walk, walk.

03:40Walk, walk.

03:41Walk.

03:42Walk, walk, walk.

03:43Those are the sounds as he describes them.

03:45He literally wrote them out.

03:49We're all spelled different.

03:51Walk, walk.

03:52Walk, walk.

03:53Walk, walk, walk, walk, walk, walk.

03:55Different tones.

03:56Walk, walk, walk, walk.

04:00So he said he's not gay and he wasn't really into this.

04:02He kind of tried to, you know, put it aside.

04:05Yeah.

04:06But he said, fun fact about me, I can't hear well.

04:12And this guy was shouting out orders that he couldn't hear.

04:14Oh.

04:16Everything he said to his wife was all left up because I couldn't hear it right.

04:22For example, if he said to his wife, baby, move over to the right.

04:26My non-hearing brain would hear, yum, I bet his a-holes died.

04:33This is a hell of a book, guys.

04:36I don't, like, I thought, no way would I really buy this.

04:39But now, these things are going to fly off the shelves, guys.

04:45They're going to fly off the shelves.

04:47This book is amazing.

04:48It is.

04:49If he said, I love that position you're in, my different interpretation would be, I can't wait to penetrate him.

04:56Right.

04:57Oh, no.

04:59You have to be able to hear.

05:00Oh, that's tough.

05:02It changes everything.

05:04It really does.

05:05So he said, between the crazy whacking noises and the bad hearing interpretations, I'm creeped all the way out and my dong won't stay hard.

05:12Yeah.

05:12Ain't no effing happening.

05:14Yeah.

05:14But even with the inconsistent erection, she says, that was great.

05:18We can stop now.

05:19And hands me $1,200 more.

05:22Damn.

05:22So $2,000 for about 45 minutes of baby oil play with a limp noodle.

05:28That's all I can give you.

05:29Then she let me know she was comfortable with me and wanted me to come back the next time they were in town.

05:33And I said, hell yeah, I'll be back.

05:35And she said, and next time I'd like to go a little further.

05:39Yeah.

05:40Then he got to worry about his donger.

05:42Right.

05:44So did they ever meet up again?

05:47I don't know.

05:47They did.

05:47Yeah.

05:48Okay.

05:49He talks about that in depth here.

05:51Oh my.

05:52He gets really into it.

05:54That's a crazy book.

05:55Chuck's looking for it as we speak.

05:57Oh yeah, the ending to the beginning.

06:00Oh my goodness.

06:01He helped her clean up by licking her clean.

06:03So yeah.

06:03So he's a classic Cacol.

06:05Yeah.

06:07He is.

06:08He loves the stuff.

06:10Yeah.

06:10So the Punisher was called back many times.

06:12Yeah.

06:13With them.

06:14Wow.

06:17This guy's funny.

06:19I mean, his book is.

06:20He's a limp man with a hearing problem.

06:23Yeah.

06:24The Punisher.

06:24Join the club.

06:25Are you talking to me?

06:27What?

06:29What?

06:33Oh my gosh.

06:34Oh shoot.

06:35Oh man.

06:35It's just.

06:37He had a bottle of Astro Glass.

06:39And all you could hear or hear was whacking.

06:41I love it.

06:42That's my favorite though.

06:43I know.

06:43He said, baby, move over to the right.

06:46And my non-hearing brain heard, yum, I bet his a-hole's tight.

06:51I mean, that would throw you off.

06:54It would throw you off.

06:56Well, he thought that man was going to try and bang.

06:58Oh yeah.

06:58Right?

06:59He thought Diddy was going to try and put it out.

07:01Yep.

07:02So again, it's called In Search of Freezer Meat.

07:06Oh wow.

07:07By the Punisher.

07:08You saw a guy with his face covered and baby oil Astro Glide in his hand.

07:13You knew it was Diddy.

07:14Yeah.

07:14Well, I have to assume that eventually Diddy dropped the covering.

07:20Because if you're watching a guy who's cleaning up, I don't think you have a face covering

07:25on at that.

07:25Yeah, no, you have to take it off.

07:26Yeah.

07:26He probably was like, they had met each other for long enough.

07:31Quite a read.

07:31Yeah.

07:31Wow.

07:34I mean, what else is in this guy's book?

07:36Well, it says a story of the male mental health crisis caused by erectile dysfunction and

07:41the only true cure no one is talking about, a penis implant.

07:45What?

07:45So he's looking in the freezer and says, where's my meat?

07:50Based on a true struggle.

07:51Well, so he must have relied on his dong for the longest time and then it just went away.

07:58So then he obviously gets an implant.

08:01So he found a publisher for this?

08:02Yeah.

08:03You can write anything.

08:03It's available on Amazon right now.

08:05You know, I've got some audio book points just burning a hole in my pocket.

08:11There you go.

08:12That's your next one.

08:13I would love to.

08:15I hope he narrates it himself.

08:18In search of freezer meat, write it down.

08:19You know how Oprah had a book club?

08:20We should start a book club.

08:21We should.

08:21That's a good idea.

08:22I like it.

08:22We should start a Dave and Chuck book club.

08:24That should be number one.

08:25That's number one on the list.

08:26In search of freezer meat.

08:26There you go.

08:28This thing's flying off the shelves.

08:29If you don't think this thing's flying off the shelves right now, after yesterday.

08:34Oh, it's a number one new release.

08:35It's the number one new release.

08:37Yeah.

08:37In male impotence.

08:38In a very defined category.

08:42In the male impotence section.

08:43Go ahead.

08:43Chuck, do you want me to just click on this for you?

08:44Yeah, go ahead and click on that.

08:46There's the top new releases.

08:48Pelvic floor exercises.

08:49Oh, I could use those.

08:50The Alice guide.

08:51Guide to Kegels.

08:53Testosterone reset.

08:55Man, oh man.

08:55What's going on there?

08:56They want me to lift a lot of stuff in that area.

09:00See what I can do.

09:02Someone said Chuck's stripper name would be The Disappointer.

09:07Welcome.

09:07Do you want to choose The Punisher or The Disappointer?

09:10Sorry, The Punisher's busy tonight.

09:11All we've got left is The Disappointer.

09:13Yeah.

09:14Self-published book, by the way.

09:15Oh, it is by him?

09:16Yeah.

09:17Oh, my God.

09:18Of course.

09:18No publishing involved.

09:19But that trial will give him a big boost.

09:21Right.

09:21Come on.

09:22Yeah.

09:23Yeah.

09:23When a hairy, Chris Farley-looking man comes into the room, it is a great disappointer.

09:31For the ED and hearing trouble, too.

09:33Oh, yeah.

09:34All of it.

09:35All of it.

09:36Baby, move to the right.

09:38Loose Kegels.

09:39Loose Kegels.

09:40Loose Kegels.

09:41Loose Kegels.

09:42Loose Kegels.

09:43Loose Kegels.

09:44Loose Kegels.

09:45Loose Kegels.

09:46Loose Kegels.

09:47Loose Kegels.

09:48Loose Kegels.

09:49Loose Kegels.

09:50Loose Kegels.

09:51Loose Kegels.

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