Made in Chelsea - Season 29 Episode 8
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Obviously, Amma knows about the kiss.
00:02If you were genuinely my friend,
00:04you would have not asked this question right now.
00:064.30am, I just hear Sam banging on her door.
00:09I'm really sorry. Like, I am.
00:12I don't see the funny side of it.
00:14I wasn't laughing at the situation. Nothing's funny.
00:17Oh, you're going away? Yeah, on Friday.
00:20How long? Ten days.
00:22Jazzy, how's it with Demi?
00:23Yasmin said I was up. Oh, I know.
00:25I saw her and I was like, Jaz is going to like this girl.
00:28How are things, obviously? Tristan? Mr Tristan.
00:30They're good. Pleasantly surprised.
00:32He did like me. Who knew that? No, you didn't think he did.
00:34I think a few people probably didn't think he did.
00:36I wasn't the only one.
00:37I just don't appreciate it.
00:38When I told you I'm happy, we're good,
00:40and you're still making the same comments. It's really boring.
00:42Shall we go, Jules? Yeah. I'm going to look at a handbag. Bye.
00:45Some people I've realised in life chase chaos.
00:48I think that's the beginning of the end.
00:49I just see, like, a future with you.
00:51Can I be honest with you? You've been a shit friend. Oh!
00:54I'm like a three to five a week sort of guy.
00:57Are you insane? I just don't want you to be taken advantage of.
00:59Cut that out right now, because that's a lie.
01:01You're not letting... This is pointless. It's pointless.
01:04You're literally... Stop it, Parrot.
01:06Parrot, you're like a llama. You're spitting all over my face.
01:28What's this?
01:29Hi. Hello. Hello. Hello, my lads.
01:37Come on, Tex, let's go!
01:43Let's go, Armin, come on.
01:45Just pick a chicken, go!
01:48I got you Tim Hortons, because I know you love them.
01:50They're your favourite chocolate.
01:52And then I got you Dates, because you love Dates and you're on a date.
01:55And then I got you some Edamame beans.
01:58What? They pair very well with chocolate,
02:00so I thought you might like them.
02:02I'm doing a bit of bullshit.
02:04I'm doing a bit of blunders.
02:06Ooh.
02:08She says she likes them, the chocolate.
02:10Her fancy words are tainted.
02:11Go, they pair very well with Tim Tams. Thank you.
02:14That's what I thought. And then your favourite...
02:16You thought that edamame pairs with Tim Tams? Yes.
02:18I'll stick to the cookie. No!
02:19See, this is about me showing you that I'm going to do this stuff, too.
02:22But I thought I'd do a little snack plate because I love snacks
02:25and because you love snacks, too.
02:27This is perfect. And have you noticed we're in the nature?
02:30We are in the nature. And there's birds and there's...
02:32Oh, my God, there's a parakeet. There are parakeet.
02:34I heard them earlier. Yeah, well, that's crazy.
02:36Are you still pretending to be interested in birds? No, no, no.
02:38I love you so much. No, I love you, too.
02:40I very much enjoyed the lingerie that you bought on the weekend.
02:42But have you also noticed that I haven't worn those lime green bottoms?
02:45I have noticed. I think you've probably realised I've hidden them from you.
02:48Oh, have you? Yeah. Shit, that's why I couldn't find them.
02:50You were looking for them. You do make me giggle.
02:53Do you laugh at me or with me? Both.
02:55Good. I think that's important.
02:56That's the sign of a healthy relationship.
02:58Well, apparently we're not great, according to one or two people.
03:03What is that about?
03:05It's... Honestly, why did they have to come at me?
03:09And for our relationship? They have no idea about it.
03:12Some people, I've realised in life, chase chaos. Yeah.
03:15And they really thrive in that negative space.
03:17It seems to be Sam's, actually. Yeah. Yeah, there's a common denominator.
03:20And they're like, yeah, they thrive in other people's pain.
03:23I think the superpower we have is, I don't give a fuck. Yeah.
03:26I couldn't care less what Sam Van Der Pompe and his trophy wife think.
03:31MUSIC PLAYS
03:39MUSIC CONTINUES
03:49So, I was looking around because I thought you'd invite me over
03:52to hang this bloody picture you've had done.
03:54Every time I come over, Sophie has me doing DIY work.
03:58I love tool time with Gareth.
04:00You can't tool time with Gareth. Without a top on.
04:02That's not true!
04:03THEY LAUGH
04:05And just a belt. Yeah.
04:06He comes with a belt and a drill.
04:08I'm like, are we even friends? We're just staff.
04:10Just used. Yeah, exactly.
04:12Sorry, did you actually play with the bag of tricks
04:15that Tabitha and me left with Oliver?
04:18Oh, my God, this is the weirdest, weirdest thing, right?
04:21Yeah. Oliver blindfolded me, right,
04:23and did this, like, weird intimacy-feeding thing
04:26with, like, pickles and, like, chocolate and lumpfish.
04:29The red one was good, that was fine.
04:31I didn't put in a lumpfish. That came from Tabitha.
04:33I mean, it was weird.
04:34It was just a weird conglomeration of stuff.
04:37I can't even tell you how odd it was.
04:39Fair to say it didn't set the mood and nothing happened.
04:42You didn't bonk like rabbits?
04:44No, babe. That is so upsetting.
04:46It was weird.
04:47Do you have you, um...
04:49Obviously, cos I talk about this all the time,
04:50have you ever thought of seeing, like, an intimacy coach?
04:52Because a lot of couples obviously get to a point
04:55where one does tend to lose their sex drive.
04:58Right, OK.
04:59But I think it's incredibly helpful.
05:01Like, I know some, if you would want to speak to someone.
05:04Why does she tell them? I want to know.
05:05She does all sorts of stuff.
05:07It's like tantric, a lot of breathing.
05:09It's really interesting.
05:10But she's not like, wait, they just kind of give you advice
05:12and then they leave the room.
05:13No, no, yeah, they're not... They don't sit there.
05:15Oh, they don't hop into bed with you?
05:17No. I thought it's like a glorified threesome or something.
05:20I'm sure that's out there as other form of therapy.
05:22I don't think a woman climbing into bed with two gay guys
05:25is going to really heighten the mood.
05:26I think that's the beginning of the end.
05:28LAUGHTER
05:30MUSIC PLAYS
05:35MUSIC CONTINUES
05:37MUSIC CONTINUES
05:38MUSIC CONTINUES
05:40MUSIC CONTINUES
05:42MUSIC CONTINUES
05:43MUSIC CONTINUES
05:45MUSIC CONTINUES
05:47MUSIC CONTINUES
05:48Cheers! Cheers!
05:50Still, congratulations.
05:51Congratulations. You guys look amazing together.
05:53Have you seen the ring? Have you seen the ring? Yeah.
05:55It's so pretty. Oh, wow.
05:57He's delivered.
05:58He's done such a good job, hasn't he?
06:00He could have spent a bit more, to be honest with you.
06:02A little bit. A little bit.
06:04I don't see you buying any rings.
06:06LAUGHTER
06:08We're on good terms, Nialis. We're on good terms.
06:10Let's keep it that way.
06:11You guys look great together, honestly. Thank you.
06:14You stole Vanders from us. Yeah.
06:15No, never.
06:17We have started going out more, though.
06:19We went to that sustainable fashion event, didn't we?
06:22Yeah. We ran into Ruby and Julia as well there, didn't we?
06:26Oh, that was a fun...
06:27I've always jewelled. I've had a peep out of jewellers a lot.
06:30She didn't seem too happy with us then, did she?
06:33I heard bits of this from Ruby, but I want to hear your side.
06:35What was actually the vibe?
06:37Obviously, I politely asked how she was getting on with Tristan.
06:41Incorrect. There's no way you played that.
06:43I promised to be fair. You're like me.
06:45I promised. There is no way.
06:46That was after the reaction. It started off really polite.
06:49Start from the start.
06:50So, I politely asked how they were getting on,
06:53and she just went, good.
06:55Yeah, good.
06:56It wasn't very convincing, and I went...
06:59I went, I'm pleasantly surprised.
07:01Whilst laughing.
07:03Was I laughing? A little bit.
07:04Well, I'm pleasantly surprised. About what?
07:07About them being in a good place.
07:09Because no-one really expected them to last this long.
07:11They both look miserable, so it sounds like an awful place to be.
07:15I mean, she wasn't very descriptive.
07:17Tristan doesn't... Exactly.
07:19I mean, look, with all the hardships they've been through,
07:22if they were in a good place,
07:23I'm sure she'd be shouting it from the rooftops,
07:25how well and what he's been doing,
07:27the gestures he's been making, et cetera, et cetera.
07:29I think it was more her reaction to everything
07:32was so unnecessary.
07:33I don't know why she was so bothered by the small things that you said.
07:37Listen, I found it hard to be Tristan's friend over the last few years.
07:40I can't imagine what it's like to be Tristan's girlfriend.
07:43Bless Jules.
07:44Honestly, let's all pray for Jules.
07:46They both deserve medals.
07:48But I can tell you something who is really pissing me off at the moment.
07:51And pissing me off this whole trip is Temps.
07:55He's just grinding my gears.
07:56What, what was he doing? He's not the Australian Temps.
07:59I used to love hanging out with Temps, good bloke,
08:01loves a good time, loves a beer.
08:02Didn't he get a tattoo for you?
08:04He's got Bondi Boys.
08:06Were you included in the Bondi Boys?
08:07Yeah, I was included, yeah.
08:09Wait, do you have the tattoo?
08:10Absolutely not.
08:11LAUGHTER
08:13It was a group tattoo, which I believe only Temps got.
08:16Aww.
08:18And what got me is, anyone can have any opinions on me,
08:21but when he speaks to Yaz in a particular tone
08:24and says his opinions to Yaz and makes her cry,
08:26that's when I have a fucking problem.
08:28Do you think you'd get back with her?
08:29I don't know what, honestly, what the future holds.
08:31All I know is that I love hanging out with Yazmin
08:33and we just had the best weekend together.
08:50Hard knees, hard knees, come on, come on, come on, come on!
08:52Rapid! Come on!
08:57This is fun. How are you doing, brother?
08:59Good, still feeling it in my delts, but I'm good, other than that.
09:02He's practising for, like, barging people up the way.
09:04Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sam...
09:06No, but I'm good. We missed you on the last day.
09:08Yeah, so I had to run. Had a few meetings back in London.
09:11No, you didn't. You had a little sulk and went off.
09:13Oh, yeah. No, you know what, it was a bit weird.
09:16With Yaz, obviously, we have had an amazing friendship
09:20and then we didn't speak for a while when she was with Sam
09:22and then I was trying to look out for her
09:25when she, like, came back to London and wanted to hang out loads
09:28and it annoyed me that she had lied.
09:32And I get it, like, at the dinner table,
09:34maybe for my part it wasn't the right thing to be like,
09:37look, I'm going to call you out on this,
09:38but I almost felt like if I didn't, she would have said the truth.
09:41It kind of forced her to do it.
09:43Well, I don't think Sam's too happy with me either.
09:46Really?
09:47Yeah, obviously I've made Yaz cry.
09:50I want them to do what is right for them,
09:52but I think deep down we all know
09:54that they're not right for each other.
09:56And having five months away from each other,
09:58yeah, I do think they both have changed a bit.
10:00I think they are quite immature with each other.
10:02I'm just going to pause you there.
10:06You're saying we all know that they're not right for each other.
10:08I think they know that as well.
10:11Sam was saying some shady stuff to me.
10:26He was like, what's the vibe between you and Yaz?
10:28What's she saying? Blah, blah, blah.
10:30And then I kind of turned it back to him and I was like,
10:33why are you asking? Is that something you want?
10:35You want to go back there?
10:36And basically he said, no, I don't think she's wife material.
10:42Oh.
10:43But then he still wanted something to do with me.
10:45And I was like, I don't think that's the right thing to do.
10:48I don't think that's the right thing to do.
10:50And then he said, no, I don't think that's the right thing to do.
10:53And I was like, I don't think that's the right thing to do.
10:55He still wanted something to happen that night.
10:57So then I asked him, I was like, are you just trying to sleep with her?
11:01Just, you know? Yeah.
11:03And he was like, hmm.
11:05I can imagine him doing that.
11:06You just did it perfectly well in his face.
11:09You know what, it's classic Sam.
11:11He doesn't want you to be with her.
11:12And she doesn't want her to move on,
11:14but he doesn't want to be with her.
11:15That's why he was sizing me up.
11:17He was asking, you know, what do you do?
11:19How's the DJing going and this and that?
11:21And I was just thinking, mate, you sell flowers for a living.
11:23I'm not broke.
11:25Plants, not even. Plants, yeah, yeah, yeah, well.
11:41So, I thought, let's do a picnic for him.
11:45Oh, that's nice.
11:46Yeah, because obviously he loves nature.
11:49I love food.
11:51So I thought...
11:52So I thought, how did this go down?
11:54He loved it.
11:55Genuinely, he loved it.
11:57But I did actually have to fill him in on the van pump stuff.
12:00Yeah, and it upset him,
12:02the fact that Vanders was kind of, like,
12:04backing me into a corner.
12:06It's like a little obsession.
12:07It's kind of bizarre. It is, right?
12:09It's so weird.
12:10And, yeah, Tristan just basically saying
12:12that Vanders is, like, the common cold.
12:13Like, he comes up every six months.
12:16Did it land? If that's not a dad joke,
12:19what is a dad joke?
12:21It did land.
12:22I found it hilarious, but I've never seen hilarious.
12:24Guys, doesn't this feel so weird?
12:26Do you remember in the Maldives,
12:27when we were all sat there and Jaz came out to us?
12:29And now we're here.
12:30She's basically got a wife.
12:32I've got a wife.
12:33Guys, I genuinely didn't think
12:35that I'd be this, like, happy in my life.
12:38So sweet.
12:39Why is it not official?
12:41But you're all Insta-official, but not...
12:43Yeah, we're official everywhere else, to be honest.
12:45I think it's just waiting for the right time.
12:47And she's basically said to me,
12:48because obviously, like, I'm very new to it,
12:49she's like, you've never asked out a girl.
12:51So I feel like she wants me to do it.
12:53Yeah.
12:54And I've been spending time in her end,
12:56so it'd be nice to have her around Chelsea as well.
12:58Yeah.
12:59What's Essex like? Is it fun?
13:01You know what? I love Essex.
13:02I've never run faster.
13:04In the country roads.
13:05Is it country?
13:06Yeah, I'm literally running on the roads.
13:07I ran my fastest ever run around her area,
13:11so I think that's good.
13:12Good vibes. It's a good sign.
13:13Yeah, I do love Essex.
13:15You?
13:16Yeah.
13:17You can't leave us yet.
13:18No, I won't.
13:19I won't, I won't.
13:20Demi can come to Chelsea.
13:21Yeah, Demi can come to Chelsea.
13:39I'm not going to lie, I couldn't stand you a few months ago.
13:41Really?
13:42Not in, like, a mean, like, I hate you way, but more in a...
13:45But always wanted the best for me?
13:47Yeah.
13:48I did always want the best for you, to be fair,
13:50cos you always want the best for me as well.
13:52Yeah, cheers to moving on. Great.
13:53Classic. You would hate it if I moved on.
13:57Honestly, I really wouldn't. I thought this was your guy.
14:00Who? Alman? Yeah.
14:02He was... Do you know what? He was actually a lovely guy.
14:04He was sweet. I think he actually did tick some boxes.
14:06I wouldn't say he's... Listen, he's not dead.
14:08But he was.
14:10No, we should probably have...
14:12Well, I probably should have a conversation with him.
14:14Yeah. I'm sure he doesn't want to hear from me.
14:16The highlight of my trip was obviously being with you.
14:18I had so much fun.
14:20Yeah. But then, Temps, on the other hand...
14:23I've asked Temps to come here and I just want an apology.
14:25I see Temps as one of our best friends.
14:28Yeah. Like, Temps away from Miles,
14:30Temps is the most adorable, loveliest man.
14:33He should always have our back, no matter what.
14:39I don't feel like anyone genuinely cares.
14:41Yeah, it's hard to care about me, though, I guess.
14:44It's easy.
14:46You'll feel a bit dreamy
14:51You'll feel a bit dreamy
14:56Oh, I like being close to you.
14:57We're both quite tactile people. We are.
14:59I love it. It's also difficult when you're in a restaurant
15:02and you have to go sit on the table opposite and then you're, like,
15:05reaching across the table. I know.
15:07Hi, guys. Hi, Sam.
15:09Hello. How are you?
15:11Good. How are you?
15:12Yeah. Not bad.
15:14Oh, congratulations.
15:16Oh, thank you very much. Very kind of you.
15:19Yeah.
15:20So, everything OK?
15:23You're, like, I've been summoned.
15:26Yeah. It seems to be.
15:28It's not so much a summons, it's just a...
15:30It's more just a conversation, to be honest.
15:32I mean, we're great. We're amazing.
15:34Cos I know you think we're not.
15:36You've said that a lot of times. No, no, no.
15:39Why do you giggle at everything? I'm really confused.
15:41I think things make me laugh. OK.
15:45That reaction there made me laugh.
15:46I'm just clarifying, needing to clarify that you guys are good.
15:49Yeah. It made me laugh. Yeah.
15:52I'm just confused.
15:53Like, your opinion's just so boring and it's, like,
15:56it's giving, like, you're weirdly obsessed with us.
15:58It's really... Yeah, it's really weird.
16:01OK. I'm weirdly obsessed with you.
16:04Yeah. Why am I weirdly obsessed with you?
16:06Because you make comments all the time.
16:08It's like, it was so long ago.
16:10When did I make comments?
16:11How do you forget that, like, you and I dated
16:14and you're genuinely the worst person I've dated?
16:17Like, I'm not even joking.
16:18Like, it was for two weeks. Yeah.
16:20Worst two weeks of my life. OK.
16:22Um, before this gets out of hand, this is so boring.
16:25We know how we all feel about each other. Yeah.
16:27I feel like I've changed a lot in the last six months.
16:29All I'm saying is, can we just fucking put this to bed now?
16:31And if we're two adults here, trying to meet in the middle,
16:34this would seem like a reasonable compromise.
16:37I think Jules has fed things back to you.
16:40No, no, she hasn't fed things back.
16:42She's been affected by what you've said and it's frustrated her.
16:44We're not friends, clearly,
16:46and I don't have an opinion on your relationship.
16:48I just went, I'm pleasantly surprised.
16:51I'm entitled to think what I think.
16:52Are you being sarcastic? Yes, I am pleasantly surprised.
16:55So cut the sarcasm.
16:57No, no, I am pleasantly surprised.
16:58No, no, I'm not pleasant. You're being sarcastic.
17:00I'm surprised. You couldn't care less.
17:01You made a comment to have a reaction,
17:03and you got the reaction, and this is us saying,
17:04stop making the comments. Right.
17:06It's pretty simple.
17:07So there's very different situations.
17:08So irrelevant, that situation.
17:10No, it's not simple. It's comments.
17:11You know what? I'm actually pleasantly surprised
17:13that you and Alice are even engaged,
17:15because I'm pretty sure you were complaining
17:17about how she's never paid for a thing in her life.
17:19What? Yeah, you were.
17:21No, I've never. Yeah, no, you have.
17:23I've never. No, you have. I've never.
17:24I've never, ever, ever. That's why I'm just confused
17:26that you're engaged after six months
17:27and you're complaining about how she's never been offered to pay.
17:30Let me reply to that. Actually, that's completely incorrect.
17:33She has treated me amazingly since we've been together.
17:37My birthday, she bought me a Ramona suitcase.
17:40To say thank you for when I took her to Dubai,
17:42she bought me shoes.
17:44I don't know who's fed you this information.
17:46Your best friend, you were telling him in Dubai.
17:48No, I've never said that.
17:49I've never said that.
17:50No, you said it to her, apparently.
17:52No, Julia, you weren't there.
17:54I'm just saying... You don't know.
17:56I'm just saying what you said to your best mate.
17:59That's all I'm saying. I didn't say it to my best mate.
18:01And I knew about this since you guys came back from Dubai.
18:03That's wrong. So someone's lying.
18:04So Reza's lying, then, yeah. Yeah, yeah, fine.
18:06So let's clearly cut that out right now, because that's a lie.
18:09I'm just saying, you make comments about our relationship,
18:11I can make comments about yours.
18:13And I'm just going to tell you that's a complete lie.
18:15You know that you've got a big mouth,
18:16you've got a nickname for a reason.
18:18All we're saying is keep our fucking names out of your mouth
18:20and everyone will be happy.
18:22Absolute pleasure. Good to see you.
18:23Thanks for coming back. It's never a trawl.
18:25Oh, that doesn't make sense.
18:27It's a pleasure, never a trawl.
18:29God, what a waste of my time.
18:37MUSIC CONTINUES
18:46That was really nice. It was a fun evening.
18:48Oh. I didn't realise your caddy was coming.
18:51No, just best friend. Sarcastic Sam's back.
18:54Aw. I've seen way too much of you.
18:57I know you have. A little bit too much.
18:59I'm just here as a friend.
19:00Thank God. Hold his hand, please.
19:01A friend to temps or a friend to who?
19:04Who are you friends with?
19:05Well, I'm here for a friend to temps and also...
19:07Are you OK? To you.
19:08I've not heard from you.
19:11Before I get comfortable, what? I think you should apologise.
19:14Fucking hell, Sam. Don't swear.
19:17Right, what is the actual problem here?
19:19Because... Oh, let me explain.
19:21Go on. My issue with you is the fact you made Jasmine cry.
19:25If I have upset you and made you cry... Yeah.
19:27You did, yeah.
19:29Sam, you weren't even fucking there, mate.
19:30I could hear Yaz crying. I had to run downstairs to check she's OK.
19:33I'm not going to spend the night in shining armour.
19:35Because you're cuddling Armand. Check on her.
19:37I wasn't cuddling Armand, was I?
19:38There's two separate issues here.
19:40If you feel like I handled that in the wrong way
19:42and that's upset you and that's done something to our friendship,
19:45I'll hold my hands up and I will talk to you about that issue.
19:48I think what happened is you came down and delivered a message
19:51in completely the wrong way,
19:53and then when I said something about it,
19:54you got defensive about it by how you reacted.
19:57No, but it's not that I delivered the message.
19:59For me, it was, like, even if you didn't agree with anything,
20:02I feel like that wasn't the time to say it in front of this new guy.
20:06Dorset was so strange and, actually, the only person
20:08that I had there was Sam.
20:11Right, so, look, you've got a problem with me because I made Yaz cry.
20:15I just don't like how, yeah, you made Yaz cry.
20:17That, for me, I just think is unforgivable.
20:19I don't understand why you think that would ever be OK to say...
20:22Have a conversation with Yaz in private,
20:24but to say that in front of Armand and almost embarrass her even more,
20:27I think is too much. I think you know that.
20:30No, no, I don't. Make everything about yourself.
20:31It's not about you.
20:33Don't get me involved in anything, then.
20:34You're the one getting involved, mate.
20:36Am I? Have I been on the other end of the phone when you broke up
20:38for the last five months speaking to you?
20:40Have I been a good friend to you?
20:41You know what you can also do? You've been a shit friend.
20:44I've called you every single week to check in on you.
20:46You never even sometimes call me back. Shit friend.
20:50I think Dushae is being a good mate to you.
20:52I mean, there's a lot of things he could obviously say
20:55about that night that happened
20:57and also that Armand kind of shared with us, but he hasn't.
21:01Like what? About what you've said about Yaz.
21:19I think Dushae is being a good mate to you. Why?
21:22I mean, there's a lot of things he could obviously say
21:25about that night that happened
21:26and also that Armand kind of shared with us, but he hasn't.
21:29Like what? About what you've said about Yaz.
21:32What, that I wasn't interested?
21:34That you didn't see that she was... No, you said...
21:36What was it? Coming from you. ..she's not wife material.
21:40I would never say that, cos Yazmin is wife material.
21:44And then, after that, Armand said to Sam,
21:49what does that mean? Do you just want to sleep with her?
21:52And Sam apparently looked at Armand
21:55with kind of like a cheeky, chappy...
21:57..allusion to the fact that that's all that he wanted to do with you.
22:00Listen, I think Armand can...
22:03Armand can say his piece now.
22:05Or my life, I'd never say that.
22:06But I'm not going to sit there and say, you know what?
22:08So what did you say? I'm not going to sit there and say, yeah...
22:11So what did you say? I never said that.
22:12So what did you say? I don't see why Armand would lie about that.
22:15I can understand why Armand would lie. Why? Completely.
22:18Cos he's got mugged off in front of everyone.
22:20Right, get out of, like, Armand, Yaz and this for a second.
22:25Mate, you were fucking all over him that night.
22:27You agree that he's a good guy. He's a really good bloke.
22:29There we go. Yeah, I agree.
22:31Should he be sat there feeling like a knobhead
22:33because someone's delivered a message?
22:35Again, you're not letting... This is pointless. It's pointless.
22:38It's just pointless, me talking.
22:39You're allowed your opinion, you're allowed your opinion.
22:42As soon as I say how I feel about anything, it's completely...
22:44It's not about you. It's about Yasmin.
22:46Well, it is cos you've called me in to fucking have a chat with you, Sam.
22:49Cos I think you should say sorry to Yasmin. I brought you here to say sorry.
22:51I've literally just... Now you've said it, you can go.
22:53All right, fuck you, then, mate.
22:55Knobhead.
22:57OK, well, that is not how I want things to go.
23:02Look, I'm going to leave you guys to it. I'm going to check on him.
23:04But I will message you and we'll sort something out.
23:07Always a pleasure, bro. See you soon.
23:24Enough is enough is enough is enough is enough.
23:30Hi, guys. I'm Victoria, your intimacy coach for today.
23:34So tell me, who, who from you,
23:36was the one to drag another person to this session?
23:41Well, it certainly wasn't me.
23:43It's too very, too very,
23:45I can't feel, I can't feel anything, anything.
23:49Honey doesn't know anymore.
23:54So I've got my party coming up soon.
23:56I'm buzzing for this. The theme is angels and demons,
23:59which I think is going to be fab.
24:00Thank you for giving me a plus one.
24:02Oh, of course. I promise I won't disappoint.
24:04I'm excited to meet the plus one. Your plus one.
24:06I'm looking forward to it. Where is she?
24:08However... Mm?
24:10..Ellen has been invited.
24:14Why? Are you OK with...
24:15She's a friend, but, like, if it's too problematic...
24:18Oh, my God. ..I'm sure we can, you know, give her a different date.
24:22But it could be... I'm going to... I've got me wife coming.
24:25Yeah, but you and your wife are so strong.
24:27My wife and Ellen know each other.
24:30Oh. Yes, they've met before.
24:32Oh, OK. And Demi's, like, a bit, you know...
24:34So you could be cordial, but Demi might not be.
24:37I'm sure Demi will be fine. Demi's lovely, so she'll be...
24:39Oh, I'm sure she is, but I'm sure, like, she'll see Ellen
24:41and be like, it's on sight.
24:42No, yeah, but at the end of the day, Demi got the girl.
24:44Exactly. She won already.
24:46She's won. No, I've won.
24:47You are a prize, baby. Oh.
24:49You are. So sweet.
24:50That is.
24:52Gareth, what will be the ideal sex life for you?
24:56Describe it to me with juicy details. Do you know what?
24:59I mean, basically, I would, I...
25:02I'm like a three to five a week sort of guy.
25:05And then I realised that after...
25:07Like your part, three to five times a week? Yeah.
25:09Are you insane?
25:12You literally wrote a book called Lady and Chelsea.
25:15Don't raise your eyebrows like that.
25:18It only came because my bowtie was torn off.
25:20I know.
25:22And for Oli, what needs to happen for you to feel...
25:29I like to call it to switch in a lover mode.
25:34Um...
25:35I don't know. Um...
25:37Barry White?
25:39I think, I think one can get quite bored
25:43of just a bedtime schedule.
25:45Mm.
25:47Bedtime schedule.
25:48Or you go to bed, and we often work from bed.
25:52Mm. So is it about a place, a different novel place
25:56that creates excitement and spices things up?
26:01Maybe, yeah, at different places, yeah.
26:06It almost sounds like, for Oli, you can hear it from Oli.
26:09Yeah. For Oli, novelty is so important.
26:11Gareth, do you have some ideas of what would you like to try
26:16and experiences you can bring to Oli?
26:21In what sense? What's an example?
26:23For example, you can organise a beautiful date.
26:25I call it vacation.
26:31It's like a fucking vacation.
26:33OK, yeah. Two of you together, trying...
26:37Vacation. Vacation, yeah.
26:39Maybe that's what we need, a fuckation.
26:42Fuckation.
26:44Sounds expensive.
26:46THEY LAUGH
26:49I've had a mare. Tell me.
26:51Have you ever met Vanderpump? Yes, a couple of times.
26:54God, I feel for you. Honestly, I just thought, you know what,
26:57I'm just going to message Vanders and tell him,
26:59like, let's just have a chat.
27:01Like, let's have a conversation, like adults,
27:04because I cannot be arsed for it.
27:05And then I did it, and I was like,
27:08and then I did bring up to Vanders about how, basically,
27:13Vanders in the past has complained about how his fiancée
27:16has never paid for a thing, like, never even offered to pay for a coffee.
27:19Oh, OK. Yeah, so I brought that up to him.
27:21Why is he telling people that?
27:22Well, here's the thing, well, he told his best mate.
27:25Keep that to your damn self. He told Rez.
27:26And obviously, Rez told everyone. Exactly.
27:28The thing is, I've known about this for a while,
27:30but I just chose not to say anything,
27:32because I don't care enough about their relationship.
27:34I don't think about them, and I'm not out to get them.
27:37But if he's taking swipes at your relationship,
27:39you're going to swipe right back. Exactly.
27:41If you're going to give it, I'll give it to you right back.
27:43How did he react to that? Oh, my God, he was livid.
27:45HE GASPS
27:47Hi! Hello!
27:49Oh, I missed you.
27:51I love you so much.
27:53Oh, my God, I'm so upset.
27:54Oh, my God. Come here, come sit.
27:56You're my love.
27:57We meet again, we meet again.
27:59Nice to meet you. So nice to finally meet you, darling.
28:01Kabir. I've heard so much about you.
28:03Likewise.
28:05So the wife has got style?
28:07This is what we like to see.
28:08She carries with us.
28:10Respect.
28:11I'm obsessed with you two.
28:13Like, look at them. She's so sweet.
28:14You guys suit. Do we?
28:16Yeah. Do we look good?
28:17Yeah, because you contrast each other really nicely.
28:20Yeah, I know. I always say, like, you're like the posh one,
28:22I'm like the little rough one.
28:23I'm like the little roughy already.
28:25No!
28:27No, no, it's sweet style and, like, classic.
28:30Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.
28:32I'm loving it. Yeah, of course.
28:34This is fab. So how did you guys meet?
28:36It's actually through Yasmin, wasn't it?
28:38Yas saw me and then she told Jaz, like,
28:40you'd really fancy them and then Jaz slid into my DMs, didn't you?
28:43I messaged her. And then what did you do after you said it?
28:46And then I unsent the message because it was...
28:48No, because I sent a fire emoji to one of her boxing stuff.
28:51Like, that's so awful.
28:53How did you feel about it?
28:54Oh, I was so shocked, cos obviously I've heard about Jaz
28:57and, like, I've seen you and stuff,
28:59but I did not know that she was, like, into girls,
29:01always dating girls, so I was thinking,
29:03I remember rolling my eyes and thinking,
29:04oh, not another straight girl in the DMs.
29:07Not straight. Like, another heartbreak.
29:09But I think it was one of the first questions I asked you.
29:12Yeah. You said you was into girls, I was like, yes.
29:15Yes, get in there. Yeah.
29:16How, like, obsessed are you guys with one another from one to ten?
29:20Oh, we ask each other this every day. Oh, I didn't know you had that.
29:23But, like, ten means you're in love, don't it?
29:26Yeah, so we haven't said ten. We haven't said ten yet.
29:29Is it coming soon? It's a solid, like, 9.99.
29:339.99% recurring.
29:35Yeah. Recurring, that's funny. Yeah, yeah.
29:57Oh, hello. Hello.
29:59Hi. How are you? How are you?
30:01Good to see you. Good to see you too.
30:03Long time no see. Long time no see.
30:06What's going on? You ordered me some tea.
30:07I got you tea. Do you like tea? Thank you.
30:09I thought you know I like tea.
30:11Do I know that? Yeah.
30:13Well...
30:14You know I don't drink coffee. Oh, yeah, that's true.
30:17So tea is my go-to.
30:18Your necklace says Yasmin.
30:21Yeah, it does.
30:23In Arabic. It does say that.
30:25Can Sam read Arabic?
30:27Sorry, what?
30:29Thank you for coming to meet me.
30:31No, thank you for reaching out.
30:32No, you know, after Dorset, I felt really bad.
30:35And, you know, it all got a lot, you know,
30:38instead of having that conversation with you,
30:41I think it would have gone very differently,
30:42but it ended up being a situation between Temps and I.
30:46I...
30:47I actually saw Temps. OK.
30:49And Myles. Nice.
30:51And they had a few things to say that you had told them.
30:54OK.
30:55I was merely responding to their questions
30:58and opening up a little bit, but I didn't say anything bad.
31:01I don't know if there's anything specific that you heard
31:03that you're not happy with, but...
31:05No, nothing that's... I didn't lie, you know.
31:07I just don't believe that Sam would say those things.
31:11Whatever me and Sam have, or the connection we have,
31:13isn't a physical thing. It's nothing to that.
31:15It's like an emotional connection.
31:17I don't know what connection you guys have.
31:19I know, but that's... I was just relaying what I heard.
31:21I know, that's fine. And to be honest, it was for your pleasure.
31:23Why don't you have that conversation with Sam?
31:25Well, I will have that conversation with Sam.
31:26That's sweet, but I don't...
31:28I don't want you to be taken advantage of,
31:29because you were my first buddy in this group.
31:31I know, but... And I feel bad for you
31:33to just be a physical thing for anyone,
31:35whether that's Sam or someone else.
31:36I would never be a physical thing for anyone,
31:38and I know that with Sam. OK.
31:39I definitely know that.
31:40That is the last thing that would ever cross my mind with Sam,
31:43like, ever.
31:44I just don't want you to be taken advantage of.
31:46That's all it is. Yeah, but, Arman,
31:47I don't need you to tell me that about my ex-boyfriend of three years.
31:50I'm just responding to what you're saying.
31:52No, I appreciate that you care about me and stuff,
31:54but, likewise, I don't know if you actually care about me.
31:57We've met twice. Do you know what I mean?
31:59I wouldn't have driven you three hours if I didn't care about you.
32:03Also, I introduced you to my grandmother.
32:06I don't do that with everyone. I know, but that was...
32:08OK, your family are lovely, don't you?
32:10Like, they are a lovely family. Thank you.
32:14But...
32:15Yeah.
32:17You don't need to worry about me.
32:19Thank you, though.
32:20Good. I'm glad.
32:24MUSIC PLAYS
32:25Please don't let me go
32:27I know what I want and I want it all
32:30Don't make me beg for more
32:32I know what I want and I want it all
32:37God, you guys are happy.
32:39We are happy, aren't we? Yeah.
32:40You're glowing as well. I'm glowing.
32:43You know what I am?
32:44I bumped into Tamsin Miles yesterday. Right.
32:47Apparently, I said to Arman,
32:49in Dorset, that Yasmin is not marriage material.
32:52I don't know when we're going to...
32:54You know what kind of chat that is?
32:56It's when people aren't confident in themselves to get the girl,
32:59they have to slag the other people off.
33:02He then also, apparently, he asked me the question,
33:05do I just want to sleep with her?
33:06And apparently I smirked.
33:08Would you ever see me talking about me and Yasmin's private life?
33:13I've never said a bad word about Yasmin, never.
33:15You've never? Not in front of me?
33:17We seem to be in a very similar position to you.
33:19It's actually uncanny.
33:21Obviously, there seems to be something going on
33:23with Julia and Tristan.
33:24I was summoned by them to have a drink with them.
33:28Apparently, I am angry at Alice
33:33because I feel like I pay for everything in the relationship.
33:36Our relationship is not transactional, for one.
33:38It's an engagement and, firstly...
33:40So he should.
33:42Firstly, if I want to... He should.
33:44I hope she earns more money than me.
33:45That's the most stupid part.
33:47She said it came from my best friend, obviously, Rez.
33:50A source confirmed otherwise.
33:52And she's kept on saying that I was obsessed with her and Tristan.
33:58She was saying it was giving obsessed, it was giving deluded.
34:01I just think she's a joke and I need to talk to her
34:03about some of the things that she said about me.
34:15They'll always be better.
34:18They'll always be better.
34:22I found the DJ. I'm here with Arman.
34:25He's absolutely pumping.
34:27Arsene!
34:29And they'll always be better.
34:33They'll always be better.
34:37They'll always be better.
34:41They'll always be better.
34:44And they'll always be better.
34:48How are you?
34:49I'm good. Obviously, the last time we spoke was with Sam and Tamsin.
34:54Yeah. It was a bit of a...
34:58I don't want to say uncomfortable conversation,
35:00but I think also there was a lot going on
35:02with different people's opinions. Yeah.
35:04And maybe my frustration was nothing really to do with you two,
35:11just more the fact that we were once really close
35:14and I think we've just drifted apart over the last year, really.
35:18Yeah. I don't know where you're at with the friendship,
35:21but I want to work on us being us again. Yeah.
35:26My only question is, will Sam have an issue with us reforming
35:31a friendship and actually putting effort into each other?
35:34To be honest, it's not like Sam and I are in a relationship together.
35:38Yeah. And equally, I will not be...
35:41..any more in a relationship with someone
35:44that would affect my friendships.
35:47But I just want to make sure you also...
35:49You know, that Yaz who is super fun, super energetic. Yeah.
35:52Like, OK, look, the Arman thing, I loved it cos it looked like
35:55you guys were such a perfect match. Yeah.
35:57Regardless of you guys not being a match or whatever,
35:59be yourself again. Yeah.
36:00Because that is what everyone loves about you.
36:02Like, you walk in a room, everyone wants to see you,
36:05everyone wants to talk to you,
36:06and I would hate for that to disappear again.
36:08Yeah. Oh, I appreciate it.
36:12No worries. Thank you. You're welcome.
36:33Hi, girls. Hi, Ellen. Hi, Ellen.
36:36Yeah, well, I saw you earlier and I thought I'd just come over now
36:39and sort of say hi.
36:41Thought it'd be good for us to sort of speak as well. Of course, yeah.
36:45Sort of see and make sure there's no sort of issue with us.
36:49Thanks for coming over. Yeah, first of all,
36:51thanks for coming over and obviously, like, checking in and that.
36:53Yeah, no, look, it's all completely fine.
36:56It just was very quick that I saw her on socials
36:58and that's the only reason that I was a bit taken aback.
37:01Not the fact that you were dating other people.
37:04I was just like, wow, this is very quick and it's on social media
37:06and it felt a bit, like, wow. Yeah, that's the thing.
37:10Like, obviously, I've been dating Demi
37:13and I think we both were a bit taken aback at, like, the reaction.
37:16Cos we were trying to keep it low-key.
37:19Yeah, it was out of our control, really. Yeah.
37:22You've been, like, really mature about the situation. Yeah.
37:26Which I really do appreciate and I do hold my hands up.
37:29Well, I hope you have a lovely night, Ellen. Thank you.
37:31It's been so nice to bump into you. Thank you.
37:33Yeah, no, I'm glad that we have seen each other.
37:35Yeah, me too. And enjoy the rest of your night. Me too, and you.
37:37See you later. Bye. Nice to see you, Ellen.
37:43Had a nice night with you, though.
37:45I don't know why, I'm just, like, really nervous.
37:47Why are you nervous? I don't know.
37:49Why? I'm not sure.
37:50What's wrong?
37:52No, I just really like having you, like, in my life.
37:55Me too. And, like, I'm so scared because...
38:00..you have, like, all of me and I haven't given my all to someone
38:04in, like, a very long time.
38:07I just see, like, a future with you, like, very long-term,
38:11like, hopefully forever. I don't want to speak too soon,
38:13but hopefully forever, Jaz.
38:17You know how we always say, like...
38:22..like, 99.9%?
38:26Yeah.
38:27Yeah.
38:29Yeah.
38:31I feel like it's out of ten now, maybe.
38:36Oh, you love me?
38:38Is this you saying you love me?
38:40I do love you. Yeah, I love you too.
38:42Do you? Yeah.
38:45I do.
38:47Oh, my God. I was so nervous to say it.
38:49I wanted to say it all night, but I was just like...
38:51So did I. I'm in love with you, yeah.
38:53I'm in love with you too.
38:58Oh, my heart is, like, boom, boom, boom.
39:10This party is insane.
39:12You've done such an amazing job.
39:13Everyone looks so good as well.
39:15People look fucking great. Yeah.
39:17I'm really, really happy with it.
39:18I don't see many angels in the room, do you?
39:19No, everyone's a demon. Everyone's a demon.
39:28Is it actually true that you will not take requests as a DJ?
39:31That is true. I don't like taking requests.
39:33But, like, what's the line of it?
39:35If you get some, like, smoking hot girl come up to you,
39:38what would you play?
39:39Then I could make a song.
39:41What's the level of how bad a song would you play
39:43to get a date with a girl?
39:44Depends how hot the girl is.
39:46Oh!
39:48Hello, Charlie. Hello, Charlie.
39:49I'm going to be a DJ.
39:50I'm going to be a DJ.
39:51I'm going to be a DJ.
39:52I'm going to be a DJ.
39:53I'm going to be a DJ.
39:54I'm going to be a DJ.
39:56Hello, champ. How are we?
39:57You've dressed as a demon.
39:59You are an angel.
40:00You're a demon.
40:01Really? Why?
40:02Busy.
40:03How are you, boys?
40:05How is my friend?
40:06Who's your friend?
40:07Temps.
40:08I think you've dictated how things are between you and I.
40:10Yeah, you made Jasmine cry.
40:11Unforgivable.
40:13Well, like, if you don't want a friendship back,
40:15then don't even bother talking to me.
40:16But you're hanging out with this guy every day.
40:18What's the correlation between me hanging out with Arman?
40:21I thought we were a Bondi boy.
40:22Have you shown him your tattoo?
40:24No, no, please, please, please, please, I've been seeing this.
40:26It's what Sam does.
40:27When his back is up against the ropes,
40:29he tries to belittle other people,
40:30undermine other people to make himself feel better.
40:32We've been here before, so we don't need to go back there.
40:34I can see that.
40:35I've got some...
40:36Do you mind if I have a chat with Arman?
40:38Please, be an angel.
40:39I kind of want to watch.
40:41No, be an angel, give me a drink.
40:42Come on.
40:43Absolutely not, man. Why am I going anywhere now?
40:45What do you want to say?
40:46No, please, be an angel.
40:47I need to talk to Arman.
40:48Yeah, good one.
40:49Say what you want to say.
40:50Demon to demon, we need to have a conversation.
40:52Say what you want to say, Sam.
40:54Wait, hang on a second.
40:55What? Do you want to get back with her?
40:56What's the situation?
40:57I can tell you something.
40:58I won't be telling the DJ.
40:59You work here.
41:01I won't be telling you, fuck off.
41:02OK, so you want to get back with her?
41:03It's none of your business.
41:06You've said that we've had a discussion in Dorset
41:09that I've said that Yaz is not marriage material.
41:11I asked you, what's going on, do you want to get back with her?
41:13You were like, nah.
41:14And I was like, why not?
41:15And you were like, look, she's not wife material.
41:17I was like, is this just a...
41:18You just want to shag, then?
41:19And you were like...
41:20I've never said any of those things.
41:22Well, mate.
41:23Can I tell you something?
41:24I wouldn't say any of those things to her chauffeur.
41:25I've known you for ten minutes.
41:26Good one, mate, good one.
41:27She loves my car more than yours.
41:28I don't drive.
41:29OK, I know.
41:31At least I'm going to be open about it,
41:32at least I'm honest about it.
41:33OK.
41:34I'll tell you something.
41:35Yeah?
41:36I've got an opportunity for you.
41:37OK, let's hear it, here we go.
41:38You want me to sell some flowers?
41:39Yeah.
41:40You come work for me.
41:41I would love to, mate.
41:42I need a little graffiti.
41:43I actually really...
41:44I see that in you.
41:45I love hydrangeas, I love loads of flowers.
41:46I'd love to learn from you.
41:47Yeah?
41:50I don't really have anything to say, to be honest.
41:51All right.
41:52Go and get us a drink, then.
41:54Oh, yeah.
41:55Good one.
41:56I appreciate it, champ.
41:57Good, good.
41:58All the best.
41:59All right.
42:00Thanks, champ.
42:16Hi.
42:17Hello.
42:18How are you?
42:19I'm good, thank you.
42:20Hmm.
42:21Doesn't seem like you are.
42:22Why?
42:23I've heard you're saying a lot of things about me
42:25and my finances.
42:28Wow.
42:29That was your fiancé that originally said that.
42:32He didn't, so I just relayed it.
42:33He did.
42:34Let me make that very clear to you.
42:35I did not say that.
42:36I work, I have a well-paid job.
42:37I'm pretty sure you don't do anything,
42:39so I don't think you should be coming at me about finances.
42:43OK.
42:44But I'm just saying,
42:45I haven't even offered to pay for a coffee in Dubai.
42:47Well, I was complaining about it.
42:48You bought him a suitcase, like, congrats, we get it.
42:50This is so laughable.
42:52This is so laughable.
42:53I bought him a present in Dubai to say thank you.
42:55I paid for many dinners when we were out there.
42:56I don't need to explain this to you.
42:58I think we need to move on from that.
42:59The other thing you're doing is going around saying,
43:01my fiancé's obsessed with you.
43:03No, he is.
43:04He is not.
43:05Sam was the one that had brought up Tristan,
43:07mine and Tristan's relationship,
43:09when we bumped into each other shopping.
43:10Because your reaction was so interesting.
43:11I was literally saying how happy I was for you guys,
43:13and then all of a sudden, he just comes at me.
43:15He's like, well, I'm surprised you and Tristan are still together.
43:17He's the one that's bothered.
43:18Your reaction was so telling.
43:20Alice, I'm not going to tell Vanda's my whole, like, relationship.
43:23No one wants you to tell anything about your relationship.
43:26So, is it bad that I said it was good? Is that bad?
43:28It was your reaction. Your reaction was so telling.
43:30And then you suddenly start exploding for absolutely no reason.
43:33All he's saying is he's pleasantly surprised.
43:35He doesn't like your boyfriend.
43:36Are you surprised by that?
43:37He's got an opinion. He's allowed to have an opinion.
43:39You're literally like a parrot.
43:41It's really like you keep repeating something.
43:42Parrot, you're like a fucking llama.
43:43You're spitting all over my face.
43:45I'm not, I'm not. You are.
43:46OK, relax.
43:47It's like I'm speaking to Vanda's.
43:48It's like you repeat everything, like, the same thing again and again.
43:51It's so laughable.
43:52This is actually not worth my time,
43:54how embarrassing this is for you to bring up another girl's finances.
43:57To be honest, I also don't feel like you guys
44:00will end up getting married either.
44:01I don't, yeah, I don't see that.
44:03Like, I feel like you guys have known each other for, like, a week.
44:06You're ridiculous. You're actually ridiculous.
44:09I think you are completely deflecting on the fact
44:11that your relationship is pretty shit.
44:14No, I'm so offended.
44:16That was really good.
44:19Bye.
44:29Whoa!
44:31Very Bavarian.
44:32My plan is to move in with her.
44:34You and him are going to move in together.
44:35We haven't been getting along that well recently.
44:38Don't ignore the warning signs.
44:40You're not talking to Jack.
44:41You're really irrelevant right now.
44:42I would love to hear you justify trying to get Rebecca to justify.
44:45After you've fucked with something that you don't understand,
44:49you do not deserve my friendship or my apology.
44:51What's up with Armin?
44:52Isn't he hanging out with Zayno?
44:54Oh.
44:55You're so fucking rude for no reason.
44:56Armin, no, Zayno, shut up, honestly.
44:58You were the one yapping at me being a bitch.
44:59She has spoken inappropriately
45:01and you're still not saying that's not OK as well.
45:03I'm done. I'm getting a fucking migraine.