- 5/22/2025
Fangs out for the wildest Dracula-themed TV commercials! From Coca-Cola’s 1992 vampire sipping soda to GEICO’s 2013 “Dracula at a Blood Drive” and Physicians Mutual’s “Dr. Acula” with John Michael Higgins, we’re diving into spooky ads that blend horror with humor. Relive the 80s/90s vibe of BBC’s shadow-casting Dracula billboards and quirky spots like Palmer Video’s vampire browsing tapes. Which ad bites hardest? Share your favorite below! #Dracula #TVCommercials #SpookyAds #VampireAds #80sNostalgia #90sNostalgia #CocaColaVampire #GEICO #PhysiciansMutual #DrAcula #BBCDracula #PalmerVideo #HorrorAds #RetroAds #PopCulture #Throwback #80s #90s #Viral #Humor #Nostalgic #ClassicAds #Vampire #HorrorComedy #TVHistory #Marketing #AdNostalgia
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FunTranscript
00:00:00It's the Halloween season, and who do you not want to see?
00:00:04Well, of course, Dracula.
00:00:06You're not going to invite him into your house.
00:00:08But if you do, in today's episode, we learn that he might just sell you Pop Tarts.
00:00:14Or a Betamax VHS player.
00:00:19I want to know, when did Dracula stop sucking blood and start just trying to make cash on the side, pitching random stuff?
00:00:26Well, we'll find that out on today's episode of Pop Culture Paradise.
00:00:29In a world where the it thing is always changing, sometimes you need a tour guide or two to help you find your way to Pop Culture's paradise.
00:00:37If you find yourself reminiscing or in need of a good recommendation, these two have you covered.
00:00:42And now, here's your hosts, Joey and Jeff!
00:00:50Well, it's Halloween, and you know what that means, Jeff.
00:00:53It means... trick-or-treating?
00:00:57And if somebody comes to your door and says, hey, can I come in, what do you say?
00:01:03Absolutely not.
00:01:05Because everybody knows that a vampire can't come into your house unless they're personally invited.
00:01:11Exactly.
00:01:13And, you know, today, the vampire Dracula, if he gets invited into your home, he's going to sell you a product.
00:01:21And this is the first thing that I saw online. Are you prepared for Pitchman Dracula?
00:01:26Dude, I really don't know what to expect.
00:01:30I don't know if Dracula became a pitchman in the first place, but cue this stuff up and let's get after it, man. I'm ready.
00:01:36I want to warn you.
00:01:38You would think that Dracula is a guy of high moral character, but he shills for every kind of brand and double dips in multiple markets.
00:01:46So he's a lot like Garfield, how Garfield sold McDonald's, Wendy's and Burger King at some point.
00:01:52Right. Well, he's trying to keep up with, you know, the werewolf and Frankenstein and, you know, all those guys.
00:02:00Rent is expensive in Transylvania.
00:02:02Mm-hmm.
00:02:03So what is a Transylvanian night like?
00:02:10Okay, it's Andy Samberg meets Style Above.
00:02:16This voiceover is not just like German.
00:02:19This is like Transylvania German.
00:02:21This is crazy.
00:02:22Wait, he's not in the selfie!
00:02:25Look out!
00:02:26Oh, God.
00:02:27No, she's a goner.
00:02:30Wait.
00:02:32Wait, it didn't work?
00:02:33Nah.
00:02:34And why does Dracula have to look like an F-boy?
00:02:38He really does.
00:02:39Oh, that wink in the end.
00:02:40Come on, get out of here.
00:02:43You know.
00:02:44So wait, what happened?
00:02:47Was he dreaming this the whole time?
00:02:51That's a good question.
00:02:52Or like, was it a half successful night?
00:02:55Like, did she still agree to go out with him even though he failed to produce a satisfying bite?
00:03:02So wait a minute.
00:03:03This was a 3M tape commercial.
00:03:06I think it's some, I don't know.
00:03:08I think the product is called 3AM.
00:03:10Oh, I thought it said 3M like the tape.
00:03:12I'm like, what the hell does this have to do with tape?
00:03:14She put tape on her neck to protect her from the bite?
00:03:17Is that what we're pushing now?
00:03:19Tape doesn't have to sell itself.
00:03:23This tape right here will repel anything.
00:03:26Even vampires.
00:03:27Go ahead, throw it on your neck.
00:03:28It's like the Walking Dead.
00:03:30They get bit by a zombie and they're like, yo, I just ran into a whole staples worth of scotch tape.
00:03:36We're all good.
00:03:37We're all good now, man.
00:03:39Don't even sweat it.
00:03:40I like that the main vampire looked like he was from a casting call.
00:03:44Oh, totally.
00:03:45Like an ex-boy band with the hair gel.
00:03:47Right.
00:03:48Like, he's not good enough to be part of even 98 Degrees, but he may be part of the third guy in LFO.
00:03:56Right, yep.
00:03:58And then the band split up, so he has to earn some cash somehow.
00:04:02He's got super pale skin.
00:04:03He's like, I'll play Dracula.
00:04:05Our next commercial is from 1977, and it is selling the Betamax.
00:04:12Jeff, can you explain to the audience what Betamax is?
00:04:16You know, I kind of can and I kind of can't.
00:04:18My understanding of what the Betamax was, it was some sort of competitor to the VHS, right?
00:04:25It was something that was put out to try to beat out the VHS tape that we know today, that we still collect to this day.
00:04:33And do you know why they say that the VHS won the war?
00:04:37No.
00:04:38They say that every new format wins the war because it is good at cheaply putting out one kind of product.
00:04:46I gotcha, yep.
00:04:47All right.
00:04:48Pornography.
00:04:49Oh, okay.
00:04:51So, betas were a smaller tape and had less spool inside of it, so you couldn't get as much on there.
00:05:00So if you had a longer form movie, then you'd be better off with a VHS tape, even though beta was a higher quality.
00:05:08And I know this because my dad used to sell Betamax.
00:05:11Did he?
00:05:12Was he like a Betamax salesman?
00:05:14I think that was one of his earliest jobs.
00:05:16That is incredible.
00:05:18I need to talk to him about that someday.
00:05:21Well, maybe his boss was Draculaura.
00:05:25Draculaura.
00:05:31All right.
00:05:32I thought that was what we were about to get.
00:05:35Rangers, I need your help!
00:05:41Ah, Betamax, that's right.
00:05:43Oh, any TV set.
00:05:47What do you think his favorite show was in 1977?
00:05:49Do you think he was a big Columbo fan?
00:05:52Probably the Brady Bunch.
00:05:55Which sucks for him because, like he said, he works nights.
00:05:58Yeah, that's bizarre.
00:06:01When did the Betamax come out?
00:06:04Was that specifically designed, look, we're going to drop this around Halloween time because I got a brilliant idea.
00:06:09We're going to have Dracula push the Betamax.
00:06:12I don't know if it had to be Halloween specific because I don't know what kind of product you just go, you know who needs to sell this?
00:06:20The kids love him.
00:06:21Dracula.
00:06:22Right?
00:06:23The Count, man.
00:06:24Come on.
00:06:25And then the other great thing about the Count is, did you know his castle was wired up and had full electricity even though he has all the candles in the background?
00:06:35Right.
00:06:36It's just got no power in the house besides the power required for the Betamax.
00:06:40And then somebody goes by, trips the circuit a little bit, and he's getting terrible signal, and he's mad to help.
00:06:47He's like, I have to work nights to even stay alive.
00:06:51You know what the interesting thing was about that spot was it said up to two hours on Betamax.
00:06:58Now, what was one of the many things we used VHS for to record?
00:07:03Football games, right?
00:07:05Well, it was not only that.
00:07:07No.
00:07:08Well, some of it was like you had to go away in the afternoon or something, and like you're a kid or even an adult.
00:07:16And it's like you have these tapes where it's like I just recorded eight hours of Saturday afternoon TBS or something.
00:07:22So, yeah, it's got your wrestling on it.
00:07:25And the tape kept playing.
00:07:26And after it, Bonanza came on.
00:07:28And then the Saturday night movie.
00:07:31And like you have these tapes that you handed me with our backyard wrestling.
00:07:35But you didn't even rewind half the way.
00:07:37So it's the end of a Rams game.
00:07:39But even before that, it's like 30, 40 minutes of a soap opera.
00:07:43Yep.
00:07:44Yep.
00:07:45There was a lot of random stuff on those tapes, man.
00:07:48But I guess Betamax kind of eliminates that.
00:07:51It makes what you're trying to watch easier to find because the tape is limited in how long it can play.
00:07:56Well, the kids do love Dracula.
00:07:59And, you know, he's even an action figure because of the real Ghostbusters.
00:08:04Ghostbusters!
00:08:06We're here.
00:08:07So are we.
00:08:08Yes.
00:08:09So are we.
00:08:10Get them, boys.
00:08:12Frankenstein, Dracula.
00:08:13Look at that.
00:08:17Dude, you had them, didn't you?
00:08:19Oh, I have Dracula.
00:08:20He's somewhere on the wall over here.
00:08:23That's incredible.
00:08:24How bad is that sound?
00:08:25Like that's the thing that would drive you nuts as a parent.
00:08:29Yeah, that's not pleasant.
00:08:31Now, why is it that Dracula has been stuck with the V, V, V, like his speech impediment.
00:08:37And everyone's like, oh, that's how I know you.
00:08:41Yeah.
00:08:42Is that like, is that like just like a Transylvania accent?
00:08:45Or what exactly is Dracula going for?
00:08:48Because ever since the beginning of time, he's talked that way.
00:08:51It's a painful stereotype.
00:08:53He's probably nice and suave.
00:08:56It's now time in this day and age we break the Dracula stereotype.
00:09:00He doesn't always have to talk like that.
00:09:03No.
00:09:04And, you know, I think he probably wants to be more like the Latin versions of Dracula.
00:09:10He's all like he's almost like an Enrique Iglesias type.
00:09:13Yeah.
00:09:14He's a he's a Latin lover, man.
00:09:16He's just suave and smooth.
00:09:18He seduces the women.
00:09:19Yep.
00:09:20And then bites their necks.
00:09:21They want to be bit.
00:09:22Yep.
00:09:23They want to be bit.
00:09:24That's the important part.
00:09:25Joe, so what's like a product that I would be using in the house or something I would
00:09:29eat that Dracula would pitch us?
00:09:31Well, have you picked yourself up some Halloween candy?
00:09:34Yeah, absolutely.
00:09:35Yeah.
00:09:36And did you get yourself some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups?
00:09:40I did.
00:09:41Yeah, because they're shaped like pumpkins and I can't resist them.
00:09:44Well, then you have Dracula to thank.
00:09:46We what?
00:09:47I'll come to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
00:09:51Oh, I need to see this.
00:09:53How does Dracula eat one?
00:09:55First.
00:09:59First?
00:10:00There's no wrong way.
00:10:01How the heck does he do that?
00:10:02With a straw?
00:10:04He's got his fangs, but that kind of seems like defeating the point.
00:10:08It's like, all right, the teeth are coming down and taking it, but you're not getting
00:10:14anything.
00:10:15You don't get the candy, the chocolate.
00:10:17No.
00:10:18And then he just seems like the worst way to eat a peanut butter cup.
00:10:21Come on, count.
00:10:22I don't want to be judgmental about this whole thing, but I have to be.
00:10:26You're wasting a peanut butter cup.
00:10:28Yeah, that is a complete waste.
00:10:30And that is a that is a tragedy because that is like the one candy I can never turn down
00:10:35ever.
00:10:37You know how I would have ended that commercial?
00:10:39How I would have had, like, once you saw, like, the two cups still left on the counter,
00:10:44him have escape, come back in and then sweep it out of frame.
00:10:49And then they're gone.
00:10:50Yeah.
00:10:51Like, he wanted to finish the job.
00:10:53Not just like, well, I had one little tiny nibble to my nightly rounds.
00:10:59Yeah.
00:11:00Now it's time to go terrorize Transylvania.
00:11:04Got to set the feed, got to set the Betamax to record.
00:11:07I got something to do.
00:11:08Can't even have my candy.
00:11:09No.
00:11:10And that Dracula sound like he had a head injury, too.
00:11:13Yeah.
00:11:14I want to.
00:11:15He was having a hard time.
00:11:17Of course he had a head injury.
00:11:18He thought he could eat only the peanut butter.
00:11:22So he's got to have something to drink, right?
00:11:24Yeah.
00:11:25Peanut butter.
00:11:26You drink peanut butter?
00:11:27He did.
00:11:28Clearly, if you watch the tape.
00:11:30I want to.
00:11:31Well, he might have had better luck if he had himself a Coca-Cola.
00:11:37Now, this is an ad from 1992.
00:11:39So you can smell the early 90s here.
00:11:42Or should I say a Count-a-Cola?
00:11:45Yes.
00:11:46I love the old clip with just the dark mansion bat flying in.
00:11:53There's a lot of these commercials where it's like the horrible beast is tamed by how great our product is.
00:11:59The damsel in distress is taken off.
00:12:01She's running away from Dracula.
00:12:04Dude, I love the cape.
00:12:05It's so sick.
00:12:06All right.
00:12:07Door's shut.
00:12:08She's saved, but he's back.
00:12:12Run!
00:12:13No.
00:12:14No.
00:12:15Wait.
00:12:16Wait.
00:12:17Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:12:19Do we know this actress?
00:12:22We might.
00:12:24She looks real familiar.
00:12:26All right.
00:12:27He can't eat a Reese's Cup, right?
00:12:28He can't drink a Coca-Cola, right?
00:12:30He shotgunned it and suddenly became Antonio Banderas.
00:12:35What in the world?
00:12:38And now they live happily ever after.
00:12:40Thank you, Count-a-Cola.
00:12:42Can't beat the real thing.
00:12:44Oh, my God.
00:12:45She's about to get the real thing.
00:12:47Yeah, you ain't kidding.
00:12:49She went from like, oh, my God.
00:12:51He is terrorizing me.
00:12:52Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:12:53You're hot.
00:12:55All he really needed was a Coke.
00:12:57It's simple and plain.
00:12:58Sometimes it's all you need to turn around your day.
00:13:00Dracula doesn't just shotgun his sodas and half-eat his candy.
00:13:05He also gets around in his oddy.
00:13:09What?
00:13:11Wait, can't...
00:13:12Doesn't Dracula fly?
00:13:15Hey, that's just a logic flaw, okay?
00:13:18He's a vampire.
00:13:19He needs to get places.
00:13:20What the hell?
00:13:24And he may not even be Dracula.
00:13:25He's just a regular vampire.
00:13:26So, wait.
00:13:27Are these all vampires?
00:13:29It's a vampire party, man.
00:13:32Oh, gosh.
00:13:35There he is.
00:13:36It's like the worst Twilight.
00:13:37Wait.
00:13:38Yeah.
00:13:39He's here.
00:13:40The party's arrived.
00:13:41He's got it.
00:13:42He's got it.
00:13:43Oh, my goodness.
00:13:45No, he's accidentally killing everybody.
00:13:48We're not...
00:13:49Oh, no.
00:13:50What are you doing?
00:13:53Uh, guys?
00:13:54Oh.
00:13:56Guys?
00:13:57Greg.
00:14:01Every time he comes, screws up something.
00:14:04Daylight.
00:14:05Now in headlight.
00:14:06Oddy LED headlight.
00:14:07So long, vampires.
00:14:08Dude, that's a pretty good spot.
00:14:10That's a good ad.
00:14:11And now he kills himself.
00:14:12Yes.
00:14:13That is the only way it should have ended.
00:14:14He walks in front of the beams.
00:14:16I love it.
00:14:18But that doesn't...
00:14:19I mean, I guess you're safe to buy an oddy unless you're a vampire.
00:14:23That's right.
00:14:24So long, vampires.
00:14:25Hashtag, so long, vampires.
00:14:26They're canceled.
00:14:27They're done.
00:14:28They're out of here.
00:14:29It's the one demographic that everyone's agreed.
00:14:31Like, no.
00:14:32You know what?
00:14:33We're excluding them.
00:14:34Our whole campaign is screw vampires.
00:14:37We're throwing them out.
00:14:39Oh, you got to love when your party ends up like Jonestown.
00:14:42Yeah, dude.
00:14:43That was a good one.
00:14:44That was good.
00:14:46All right.
00:14:47So what's something that kind of reminds you of your teenage years?
00:14:52Oh, gosh.
00:14:55I...
00:14:56Jeez.
00:14:57I don't even know.
00:14:58You put me on the spot.
00:14:59Would you say it's the idea that Axe Body Spray is the go-to cologne?
00:15:04Oh, my God.
00:15:06Dude, Axe Body Spray.
00:15:08I used to get one of those from my Nana every single Christmas.
00:15:12I swear.
00:15:13She thought that I was, like, the stinkiest teenage kid ever.
00:15:17I would get an Axe Body Kit.
00:15:21But, I mean, after the gym, that was the move.
00:15:23It was the Axe Body Spray.
00:15:24But now, it's like, you want to avoid that stuff at all costs.
00:15:27And then they all have, like, these crazy names to it, too,
00:15:30because you got to appeal to the teenage boys.
00:15:33This isn't just, you know, basic coconut or tropical.
00:15:39It's like the Power Slam Grenade Launcher.
00:15:42Right.
00:15:43Everything sounded like an Indie Wrestler's finishing move.
00:15:46Hey, guy.
00:15:47Dude, what's that axe you got?
00:15:49Oh, it's Screaming Pterodactyl.
00:15:52You know, it smells like a Screaming Pterodactyl.
00:15:55Right?
00:15:56I know exactly what that smell is.
00:15:58Here, put entirely too much on.
00:16:03Gosh, that stuff, man.
00:16:04It would cloud up and couldn't even breathe.
00:16:08Oh, God.
00:16:09The Teen Boy Locker Room, too.
00:16:12And it's like they didn't make it for underarm.
00:16:14It was all spray.
00:16:15Spray in the can.
00:16:17And then if you left the can and accidentally got nicked,
00:16:19the can would start spraying.
00:16:20Your whole backpack would smell like it.
00:16:22Yep.
00:16:23Oh, boy.
00:16:24Well, I wonder what Dracula is going to do with this axe cologne.
00:16:30Wow.
00:16:31You got to go with it.
00:16:32Yep.
00:16:33All right.
00:16:34It's about to go down.
00:16:35They all look like the third member to a fifth string boy band.
00:16:41Picked her up during Scrabble Night.
00:16:44He's back at her place.
00:16:45He clearly doesn't recognize this apartment.
00:16:49I'm just going to make myself cozy.
00:16:51Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:16:52All right.
00:16:53She's busting out the handcuffs here.
00:16:54This is going to be good.
00:16:55Yeah, it is.
00:16:57Are the teeth going to pop out?
00:16:58Is she the vampire?
00:17:02Oh, wait.
00:17:03She smelled axe cologne.
00:17:05Oh, no.
00:17:06She's over it now.
00:17:08It's done.
00:17:09Oh, wait.
00:17:10She's into it.
00:17:11Oh, no.
00:17:13And he's all like, wow.
00:17:15Why is she sucking blood from his armpit?
00:17:19Because that's what the kids do.
00:17:24This is Count Dracula erotica is what it is.
00:17:27What in the world is that?
00:17:32That is something that you would search if you wanted to find Count Dracula erotica.
00:17:37And where would you search?
00:17:38You'd use Bing.
00:17:40Yeah, absolutely.
00:17:41What's taking you so long?
00:17:42I can't pick a restaurant in all these lengths.
00:17:44Stop messing around.
00:17:45Just use Bing.
00:17:46Sounds like Tommy Wiseau.
00:17:47Right?
00:17:48Use Bing.
00:17:49This is kind of cool.
00:17:50I'll find someplace dark.
00:17:52He really does.
00:17:53Same lighting it is.
00:17:54Perfect.
00:17:55Perfect.
00:17:56Don't hide me.
00:17:57I'm a vampire.
00:17:58Great ratings, too.
00:17:59So let's go eat.
00:18:01What's the rush?
00:18:02I thought you were hungry.
00:18:03I am.
00:18:04I am.
00:18:05He's fast.
00:18:06Stop searching.
00:18:07Start deciding.
00:18:08With Bing.
00:18:09Like if these weren't vampires.
00:18:11What the hell?
00:18:13I don't get it.
00:18:14What?
00:18:16She wanted to find a place to eat.
00:18:18He wanted to eat her.
00:18:19He didn't need Bing.
00:18:21Nobody needs Bing.
00:18:23That's the lesson we learned from that commercial.
00:18:25Don't use Bing and don't buy an oddy.
00:18:28Well, I don't know.
00:18:31Now, would you be able to trust that guy even if he wasn't a vampire?
00:18:34No, I would not.
00:18:36But I would love to hear him read a book.
00:18:38His accent.
00:18:40His voice.
00:18:41It was just, it was so, it was so just strange and interesting to me.
00:18:46I just want to hear it over and over again.
00:18:48He probably doesn't like the stereotype of V, V.
00:18:51And he's all like, no, I pronounce it this way.
00:18:54Because you're thinking of our grandfather's vampire.
00:18:59That's way back.
00:19:00Yeah.
00:19:02So the one thing that all vampires love is a nice cold beer.
00:19:07What?
00:19:10All right.
00:19:12You don't just dress up like that and go to your local Happy Days bar.
00:19:16Give me light.
00:19:18No.
00:19:19Bud Light.
00:19:20Who let the jerk in with the cape?
00:19:22And why did he put his two fangs through the can?
00:19:25It has an opening to just crack open.
00:19:29You know what?
00:19:30I think he purposely went in there to get the reaction of give me light.
00:19:36No, a Bud Light.
00:19:38He deserves what happened to him if Light came in and killed him.
00:19:41Because he went in, he knew that was going to happen.
00:19:44He could have just said, give me a Bud Light.
00:19:46Right.
00:19:47Yeah.
00:19:48It's his own fault, and we don't feel bad for him.
00:19:51No, Simpy.
00:19:52No, Simpy.
00:19:54Now, he could have just stayed home and mowed down on a box of Chips Ahoy.
00:19:59That's pretty much my Friday night every week.
00:20:02Are you a fan of the crunchy ones or the soft ones?
00:20:06I guess it depends on what I have at the time.
00:20:09That's a lot of chocolate.
00:20:11Chips Ahoy, that's a lot of chocolate.
00:20:13That's a lot of chocolate.
00:20:16I don't get why.
00:20:18I don't get it.
00:20:19He did not need to be in that.
00:20:20I don't get it.
00:20:21No.
00:20:22So he, like, drank her blood, and there's a lot of chocolate in her blood.
00:20:26But what did he do?
00:20:28That's what I kind of got out of it.
00:20:29I wrote down in my notes.
00:20:30I said, is she made of chocolate?
00:20:33Yeah, I don't get it.
00:20:34That's a lot of chocolate.
00:20:36They should have had some sort of play on words in the end of, like,
00:20:40gosh, I don't even know.
00:20:42I'm trying to think on the spot here.
00:20:43But the tagline didn't really tie together.
00:20:45Well, like, that's something that he could have said at the end of the
00:20:47Reese's peanut butter cup or something.
00:20:49That's a lot of chocolate.
00:20:50Right.
00:20:51Not, like, he didn't even have the cookie.
00:20:53No.
00:20:56No.
00:20:57Bad.
00:20:58Bad commercial.
00:20:59Poor use of Dracula.
00:21:00I think they just got him because they could.
00:21:02But you know that if he did, there would have been two bite marks in it,
00:21:05and that's all he would have eaten.
00:21:07And it would have pissed us off.
00:21:11I kind of wonder, like, he gave up biting her.
00:21:14Was it because did he want to, like, eat the cookies?
00:21:17Or was he so fascinated by the amount of chocolate?
00:21:23I think he just wanted to eat her,
00:21:25but she happened to suck down a whole bag of chips ahoy beforehand.
00:21:29He wanted to eat her, and she sucked down.
00:21:31All right.
00:21:33Moving on, folks.
00:21:35Moving on.
00:21:37So Dracula, as you know, is not very loyal.
00:21:42And he didn't just shield for Bud Light.
00:21:45He also shield for Coors Light.
00:21:48He did not.
00:21:49That traitor.
00:21:51Yeah, Dracula, I thought you had high moral character.
00:21:54Anyone who's paying, I guess.
00:21:58Do you think Bud Light saw, I mean, like, Coors saw the Bud Light ad?
00:22:02They're like, we can do something better than that.
00:22:04Yeah, they probably were like, we're not going to do a silly punch line about the light.
00:22:11We're going to have a lavish musical.
00:22:13We're going to get all kinds of the monsters involved in it.
00:22:16Yeah.
00:22:17Well, I love all the costumes.
00:22:20I can't invite him anywhere.
00:22:22No, the magician, the clown.
00:22:25That was good.
00:22:26I guess that would, you know, if I were a beer drinker,
00:22:29that would encourage me to buy Coors Light for a Halloween party.
00:22:33Over Bud Light?
00:22:35Yeah, I think so.
00:22:36I thought their spot was way better.
00:22:37Yeah, because the other one, you're just like, oh, it's just some nerdy vampire at a bar.
00:22:42And this one, you're like, nah, man, this is the beer for the party.
00:22:45Right.
00:22:46This is going to get the Wolfman Howl.
00:22:48And we want that.
00:22:51Now, what we also want is really good, high quality cheese.
00:22:57Okay.
00:22:59That's a sentence I just said.
00:23:01Let's see.
00:23:02Can we isolate that sentence, please?
00:23:05We will definitely do that.
00:23:07And we'll use that whenever, like, I don't know,
00:23:09when we do the mega retrospective on Urkel.
00:23:13Yeah, right.
00:23:16All right.
00:23:17What do we got here?
00:23:18Some sort of fortress.
00:23:19Here he comes.
00:23:21He got the same slick back hair, the same cape.
00:23:25And he's a cheese connoisseur.
00:23:27Yeah.
00:23:28That looks pretty damn good.
00:23:33He's like, shut up.
00:23:34I want to eat it already.
00:23:35Bitch, you know a lot about cheese.
00:23:42Oh, suicide.
00:23:45That's a murder.
00:23:46That's a homicide.
00:23:48She just straight up marked him.
00:23:51That is murder.
00:23:53Wow.
00:23:54This girl was able to straight up kill Dracula,
00:23:57just sneaking in bad cheese.
00:23:59Van Helsing had to do a whole movie and, like, elaborate plans.
00:24:05Van Helsing was good, but I still prefer Abraham Lincoln,
00:24:08the vampire hunter, over Van Helsing.
00:24:11He just does it with more grit.
00:24:13He's just a badass.
00:24:15What do you expect from the fresh?
00:24:17But he didn't do it with cheese.
00:24:19No, that was clever.
00:24:21Because he was just waiting to eat it,
00:24:23and she had that last ingredient just right at the last second.
00:24:26Dude, that was a good spot.
00:24:28I like that one.
00:24:29What do you think of when I say diesel jeans?
00:24:35Big Daddy Cool had his own jeans line that you never told me about,
00:24:39and now we're not friends.
00:24:42Well, Wolfpack is back causing mass destruction in the clothing industry.
00:24:47But unfortunately, no.
00:24:49It's just a nice brand of clothes that hired our man Dracula.
00:24:57Why are all these commercials in the bedroom?
00:25:01Because vampires are sexy.
00:25:03All these commercials aired on, like, Cinemax, didn't they?
00:25:09Oh, my goodness.
00:25:11Whoa.
00:25:13No.
00:25:14Not before marriage.
00:25:15She wants it, baby.
00:25:19Can't get the jeans off?
00:25:20What are they like, what?
00:25:22Kill her.
00:25:25Does he just keep that thing at his bedside?
00:25:26Is he bringing home that many vampire women?
00:25:29He's like 22 of them.
00:25:32He collects their teeth.
00:25:34I need those freaking jeans, Joe.
00:25:36Where can we find them?
00:25:38I hope there's a brand that actually has teeth included.
00:25:42Oh, my goodness.
00:25:44That was incredible.
00:25:45That was an elaborate plan.
00:25:48Dude, he's been doing that.
00:25:50He's just been, like, seducing these vampire women to get them back to the house,
00:25:55and he keeps the stake in the hammer bedside just to have the right opportunity
00:26:02to stake them in the heart.
00:26:05And all she wanted was the Johnson.
00:26:08That's it, man.
00:26:09That's all she wanted.
00:26:11No.
00:26:12And she was adamant.
00:26:13And this guy, that's a lover boy.
00:26:18He really is.
00:26:19He really is.
00:26:21He's a cold-hearted snake.
00:26:23How many more of these do you think that are going to start off with some sort of,
00:26:26like, seducing women and then killing them?
00:26:31Well, instead of vampires wanting the D, the D actually could be DiGiorno.
00:26:39No.
00:26:40Get out of here.
00:26:43I don't like this vampire.
00:26:44He's way too bald for me.
00:26:49That is like a meth addict, Dracula.
00:26:53Did you notice they did that in the Coke commercial, too?
00:26:57Of course not.
00:26:58It's not delivery.
00:27:00Garlic bread pizza.
00:27:02Because it's out of this world.
00:27:04It's not delivery.
00:27:05It's DiGiorno.
00:27:06That looks delicious.
00:27:09Now you've got bad blood with Taylor Swift.
00:27:12Dude, that did look like Taylor Swift.
00:27:15All right, so nobody died in that one.
00:27:18No.
00:27:19Yeah, I mean, DiGiorno's fine.
00:27:23I'm more of, like, a Tombstone guy myself or, like, a Red Baron guy.
00:27:28Now, you pointed out that they all seem to have this, like, the colored item
00:27:34and everything else is black and white.
00:27:36There was another thing I noticed in some of these food-related ones.
00:27:39They couldn't help make a joke about garlic.
00:27:43It's always the garlic.
00:27:48You got your pizza.
00:27:49You got your beer.
00:27:50Maybe you just want to shill the latest calculator.
00:27:54What?
00:27:56Listen, Dracula's an important man.
00:27:57He's got a lot to do.
00:28:02Quiet!
00:28:03Calculate!
00:28:07Is he in an egg freight?
00:28:09No, he's in a coffin, dude.
00:28:12Well, look at the foam on it.
00:28:14It's cheap, huh?
00:28:17I don't know.
00:28:18Dracula had to do taxes.
00:28:27That was probably the last thing I was imagining.
00:28:29Right, well, now I know why Texas Instruments has, like, a complete
00:28:32monopoly on calculators.
00:28:34It's because of their brilliant, brilliant marketing.
00:28:38Well, when I think, you know, I could also use a calculator,
00:28:43and if it's good enough for Dracula, good enough for me, man.
00:28:46I don't have that important stuff to do.
00:28:48Right?
00:28:49Normally, I'm either writing boobies on it.
00:28:52Or hell.
00:28:54Or hell.
00:28:55Spinning it around so you can read it.
00:28:57Well, he's got some stuff to do.
00:29:00Yeah, right?
00:29:01He has some numbers to crunch.
00:29:03What business is he running outside of just eating and biting people
00:29:08and turning them into vampires?
00:29:12Well, he needs to, like, you know, add up all of these, you know,
00:29:16sponsor checks he's getting from all these different brands.
00:29:20Or he has to crunch the numbers for his failing business
00:29:23selling car stuff.
00:29:26What kind of car stuff?
00:29:28All right, gosh, this is definitely a guy that works there.
00:29:32This is like a local spot, isn't it?
00:29:34Yep.
00:29:37They're like, Dan, you do a great Dracula for the kids.
00:29:40You should do it for the commercial.
00:29:42I say, come.
00:29:45He already owns a costume.
00:29:46Might as well give him the role.
00:29:47Come.
00:29:48Right?
00:29:49And see our line of specialty brushes, sprayers.
00:29:52Put a microphone on.
00:29:53Oh, my gosh.
00:29:56Audio's a little hot, guys.
00:29:57Such dealers on buffing pads and microfiber clasps.
00:29:59It's frightening.
00:30:01Couldn't they have, like, filmed this during the nighttime
00:30:04so it's a little more spooky?
00:30:06Invest in, like, a copy machine?
00:30:08It's spooky enough.
00:30:09Detailers never die.
00:30:12They just get buffed out.
00:30:18They didn't write a script.
00:30:19They just worked every single take,
00:30:21and every single take with him ended in the Dracula laugh.
00:30:24If that was my father, I would never let him live that down.
00:30:29Any time he had company, I would be popping that into the Betamax
00:30:32player for everybody to watch.
00:30:36And you got to imagine, like, these are the good takes.
00:30:39Yeah.
00:30:40Those are the ones they kept.
00:30:42There's probably, like, him to the side being like,
00:30:46how many more of these things do I got to shoot today?
00:30:49I got to sell the buffing pads?
00:30:53They don't sell themselves?
00:30:54When are we airing this?
00:30:56Oh, my God.
00:30:57Either that or he probably, like, is like, no,
00:31:00this is a yearly tradition.
00:31:02The kids love it.
00:31:03I get people asking me about it when I air it on Channel 6.
00:31:06Yeah.
00:31:07I show up to all the events that we have at the dealership.
00:31:11He is ridiculous, dude.
00:31:13Ridiculous.
00:31:15You saw how the Count eats Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
00:31:19What does he do with a Kit Kat bar?
00:31:22I got a feeling he eats it the same way.
00:31:24He's probably aiming for what's inside rather than what's, you know,
00:31:28the chocolate cover.
00:31:30I just have a feeling we're going to see two bite marks.
00:31:34You would be absolutely wrong.
00:31:38He actually sleeps in it.
00:31:40Okay.
00:31:41I'm off.
00:31:42I'm off.
00:31:43I'm off.
00:31:44Okay.
00:31:45Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.
00:31:48Oh, my goodness, dude.
00:31:50No, absolutely not.
00:31:52I am not buying a Kit Kat the rest of the week now.
00:31:56What?
00:31:57Do you want to just imagine you're eating a bunch of sleeping
00:31:59Draculas?
00:32:00No, absolutely not.
00:32:02I'm off.
00:32:03I'm off.
00:32:04I live in here.
00:32:05Five more minutes.
00:32:07That's what happens when he doesn't crunch the numbers.
00:32:09He loses the mansion and has to sleep in candy.
00:32:12But that guy's accent wasn't as, like, I don't know if the word is
00:32:16good, but it wasn't as, like, impactful as the previous ones.
00:32:21No.
00:32:23It was more like when you watch a sitcom with, like, a stereotypical
00:32:27Jewish family or something like that, and they go way over the top.
00:32:32Right.
00:32:33Like, when you're watching, like, the Goldbergs or something.
00:32:35That was more like, oy, oy.
00:32:39Yeah.
00:32:40Now, the other thing I learned is, you know, like, the famous
00:32:44marketing for DiGiorno's, right?
00:32:46Right, the pizza.
00:32:47It's not delivery.
00:32:48It's DiGiorno.
00:32:49So that's their whole marketing campaign, right?
00:32:51Yeah.
00:32:52Well, apparently, Delizio's Pizza just said, yeah, that's us, too.
00:32:59No, they can't just rip it off.
00:33:02They can, and they did.
00:33:06Hey, Dad, I'm going out.
00:33:07Is Dracula picking you up?
00:33:09Why would you ask your daughter that?
00:33:11There's a difference.
00:33:12And was he just going to eat that whole pizza by himself?
00:33:14Actually, it's made from the same garlic bread.
00:33:16He just walked in like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:33:17What did he just grab?
00:33:18You can really taste it.
00:33:19Oh, you can taste the garlic already.
00:33:21Oh, he gave it to her in case he tries to kiss her.
00:33:23Hi, Jake.
00:33:24Pizza?
00:33:25Garlic?
00:33:26What'd you say?
00:33:27Oh, Marilyn Manson's dead.
00:33:28See?
00:33:29Vampire.
00:33:30Told you.
00:33:31He knew it.
00:33:32Dad knew it.
00:33:33It's not delivery.
00:33:34It's Delizio.
00:33:35New Delizio girlfriend pizza.
00:33:36No, stop it.
00:33:37You cannot do that.
00:33:38Wait, does DiGiorno translate to Delizio in, like, another language?
00:33:42Or is that just a blatant ripoff?
00:33:45Boy, that's a good question.
00:33:47I don't know.
00:33:48Well, you'd think they'd probably have money to do their own thing
00:33:53because they were able to afford the license to hit the road, Jack.
00:33:56Yeah, it's a great song.
00:33:59Delizio pizza.
00:34:01Yeah, we need to get to the bottom of this.
00:34:03Canada's favorite frozen pizza by Nestle.
00:34:07Nestle makes DiGiorno, right?
00:34:09DiGiorno and Delizio are co-owned by the same Nestle.
00:34:15They're subsidiaries of Nestle and they're co-owned.
00:34:19Oh, so Canada doesn't have DiGiorno's.
00:34:23No, they have Delizio.
00:34:26Huh.
00:34:28You learn something every day, don't you?
00:34:31I never thought that doing this strange show with you every week,
00:34:36I would learn so freaking much.
00:34:38Here we go.
00:34:39You're going to learn a little bit more here.
00:34:41Nestle is not only the kind of guy who endorses any kind of beer,
00:34:45he'll also endorse any kind of battery.
00:34:47Let's see it.
00:34:51Love the atmosphere.
00:34:53Oh, it's great.
00:34:54Oh, he's coming out of the coffin.
00:34:55I like that.
00:34:58Oh, he's adorable.
00:35:00It's a puppet.
00:35:01Wait, that's from like Sesame Street.
00:35:03It looks like the cow.
00:35:05I don't think it is.
00:35:08I want that toy.
00:35:10That's cool.
00:35:15That vampire is going to run on batteries for three straight years.
00:35:19Let me just say, that was definitely a 90s Halloween commercial.
00:35:241988.
00:35:2688?
00:35:27Really?
00:35:28That looked like a total 90.
00:35:29Well, I guess it's later.
00:35:30A three-year battery.
00:35:31It could run all the way to 1991.
00:35:33Right.
00:35:34Yeah.
00:35:36Dude, I liked it.
00:35:37It just made me feel like I was a kid again,
00:35:40watching TV for like 30 seconds.
00:35:42That was cool.
00:35:43It does have that feeling of a commercial that like sticks with you,
00:35:47and you're not quite sure why.
00:35:48Like, you know, at Christmas time,
00:35:50they always play that Eminem commercial where it's like,
00:35:52he does exist.
00:35:53They do exist.
00:35:54They do exist.
00:35:55Yup.
00:35:56And they always bring that back, and you're like,
00:35:57man, I've been seeing this commercial forever and ever.
00:35:59And they loop it, and they play it, and you're like,
00:36:01it's not the funniest commercial,
00:36:03but God damn it, if I didn't see it once this year,
00:36:05I'd be upset.
00:36:07I know.
00:36:08If they read it, like, you know what?
00:36:09Not.
00:36:10You know what?
00:36:11This year we're not airing that anymore.
00:36:12I'd be like, what the hell, man?
00:36:14You know?
00:36:15And for Christmas, maybe you can ask for Electronic Dracula.
00:36:21Want to play Electronic Dracula?
00:36:23You'll go bats playing this game.
00:36:26Who is this pitchman?
00:36:27You'll go bats.
00:36:29Leave the little kid alone.
00:36:31Then my vampire bats.
00:36:33This looks like the worst video game ever.
00:36:38Listen, the Atari doesn't age well.
00:36:41No.
00:36:42And this is even less high tech than that.
00:36:46Right.
00:36:47Oh, look at the fake teeth.
00:36:48That's awesome.
00:36:49That kid kind of looks like you.
00:36:52Get out of here.
00:36:53No, he looks a lot like the early photos,
00:36:56like that photo or that video where you're doing the bushwhacker
00:37:00dance there, and you have that hair.
00:37:02That kid has the same hair.
00:37:04Yeah, I had the long blonde Bieber hair, man.
00:37:08What happened?
00:37:09Now I'm just trying to hang on to it as long as I can.
00:37:11I like that guy's accent, though.
00:37:14He was my kind of Dracula.
00:37:16Yeah, he was pretty damn spot on, like right off the jump.
00:37:19Very recognizable.
00:37:21And you know what?
00:37:23He didn't have to go way over the top either with the over exaggerated
00:37:27widow's peak and the white face paint and the black eyebrows.
00:37:31You know what I mean?
00:37:32No.
00:37:33He kind of looked like somebody.
00:37:36It's like that middle ground between somebody's dad and somebody's
00:37:39grandfather, and he's still trying to do what the young dads are doing.
00:37:43Right.
00:37:45And he looks like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:37:47What age are you once all this makeup comes on?
00:37:49Now there's no loyalty in the battery wars.
00:37:53So here he's going to go hang with the Energizer bunny.
00:37:59I bet he walked off the Duracell shoot and then went right over to
00:38:04the Energizer shoot.
00:38:06And he turns into a bat.
00:38:09Okay.
00:38:10He's probably disturbed.
00:38:12The freaking body just charged in.
00:38:14Oh, he locked himself out.
00:38:17He's going to die.
00:38:20Yes.
00:38:22Still going.
00:38:24Nothing outlasts the Energizer battery.
00:38:27Not even Dracula.
00:38:30All right, so who do you think did a better job killing Dracula?
00:38:34The bunny leading him outside and then just going on his way?
00:38:39Yeah.
00:38:40Or Cheese Girl?
00:38:41Cheese Girl, because it was deceitful and she was tricky about it.
00:38:46Well, earlier we ran into the problem where Dracula had to live inside
00:38:51of a Kit Kat.
00:38:53What if he just needed to find a new place?
00:38:56Yeah.
00:39:00I'm sure he went on Zillow or like Rent.com or, you know,
00:39:03any of those common places.
00:39:06Oh, my God.
00:39:09This guy looks like he was like down in the old port Halloween night,
00:39:13and this is like the morning after.
00:39:17Poor guy.
00:39:20They were like his new neighbor,
00:39:22and they were so excited to introduce themselves.
00:39:24Hey, we live right across the hall.
00:39:26We're the Smiths.
00:39:27We're excited to be okay.
00:39:29This guy's a complete drunk.
00:39:31He's dressed like Dracula.
00:39:33It's like the middle of August, you know?
00:39:40He's just wearing the costume because he ran out of clean clothes.
00:39:44Right.
00:39:45It's the only thing he had left in the closet is his costume from like
00:39:48two years ago.
00:39:50God.
00:39:51Well, maybe he can do the mature thing and get himself some insurance
00:39:57or even sell some insurance or just do volunteer work.
00:40:01You know what?
00:40:02I'm surprised so far we haven't seen like a blood drive.
00:40:06And do you know your blood type?
00:40:09Okay.
00:40:10Here we are right on the money.
00:40:12Have you eaten today?
00:40:14I had some Lebanese food for lunch.
00:40:17I love the Lebanese.
00:40:18Oh, my God.
00:40:20Enough with the formalities.
00:40:22Let's get started.
00:40:23Enough formalities.
00:40:24Let's get started.
00:40:25Jimmy, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars for Jimmy Geico?
00:40:28I do not like that Dracula.
00:40:30We're still volunteering at a blood drive.
00:40:31We have cookies.
00:40:32Get happy.
00:40:33But I remember the guys with the guitars.
00:40:34I remember those Geico ads.
00:40:36He was a little too eager, that Dracula.
00:40:38He didn't even play it cool at all.
00:40:41No.
00:40:42He was very bothersome.
00:40:44I don't like him.
00:40:46Enough with the formalities.
00:40:48And then he's just trailing him off like, all right, buddy.
00:40:51All right.
00:40:52Yeah.
00:40:53We get it.
00:40:55It's like he's never bitten anyone before.
00:40:58Right.
00:40:59He's never going to be in those sexy vampire ads.
00:41:02No, we haven't seen one of those in a while.
00:41:04You had those loaded all up front, man.
00:41:06Yeah.
00:41:07I front loaded with the sexy.
00:41:08Now I've gone to the really sad, pathetic vampires.
00:41:11We're trying to get watch time here.
00:41:13We got a sex appeal cells.
00:41:15Sex appeal up front.
00:41:17Sad drunks and pervs in the back.
00:41:21Put them in the back of the playlist.
00:41:23My tiny basement.
00:41:25But with realtor.com's draw on map feature, I can finally spread my wings.
00:41:30Very Seinfeld puppy shirt.
00:41:32All right.
00:41:33Dracula doesn't have a tablet.
00:41:34The werewolf.
00:41:35Why does the werewolf have a leisure suit?
00:41:37I don't know, but he's pretty cool looking.
00:41:39Look at the size of that basement.
00:41:42I love my new home.
00:41:45See ya.
00:41:46Careful, boys.
00:41:47That's real mahogany.
00:41:49Beautiful.
00:41:50To each their own.
00:41:51You know, I don't think I'd take that assignment if I was the moving company.
00:41:54No, but you got to admit, that was good.
00:41:56Especially that line in the end.
00:41:58The coffin.
00:41:59That's real mahogany.
00:42:00That's funny.
00:42:01True.
00:42:02But did you notice also in the ad, they did the Simpsons joke where it's not Transylvania.
00:42:08He's moving to Han-Sylvania.
00:42:12Ah.
00:42:13You know what?
00:42:14I totally, I think I just assumed they said Transylvania.
00:42:17But it kind of reminds me of Fright Night.
00:42:19That, like, creepy new neighbor's coming into this suburban neighborhood.
00:42:24And, you know, when he's moving in, he's like, careful of that mahogany.
00:42:29And then like, oh, he's just a nice, oh my God, he is Dracula.
00:42:32Yeah.
00:42:33This is just a temporary move.
00:42:35And then he's going to get back to business.
00:42:37Well, you know, tis the season.
00:42:39I guess I am going to have to watch Fright Night.
00:42:41I got to find it.
00:42:42Where is it streaming?
00:42:44JoeFlex.
00:42:45JoeFlex.
00:42:46I'll have to get that from you.
00:42:47So we had electronic Dracula, but that wasn't the only Dracula game.
00:42:52You could play I Vunt to Bite Your Fingers.
00:42:56What?
00:42:57That's not a real game for kids.
00:42:59I Vunt to Bite Your Fingers.
00:43:02No, get the heck out of here.
00:43:04Where did you find this stuff?
00:43:07I would be terrified playing this game.
00:43:11It's like Crocodile Dentist, but like, you legit get bit?
00:43:16Yeah, it's all funny until your older brother puts a razor blade in there.
00:43:22So you lose a finger.
00:43:27Wait, so I'm wondering, did it actually puncture her finger?
00:43:31Or is that like a red imprint?
00:43:33Maybe it was like a marker.
00:43:35Maybe it comes down to like a point of a marker.
00:43:38I hope so, because if you ever actually accidentally stapled yourself.
00:43:42Oh, yeah.
00:43:43Have you ever accidentally stepped on a thumbtack?
00:43:45Yeah.
00:43:46Like, why would you want that in game form?
00:43:48Yeah.
00:43:49Have you ever accidentally filmed a TikTok and tipped over at a chair and broke your arm?
00:43:54I have not.
00:43:56Just me?
00:43:57All right, let's move on.
00:43:58Just you.
00:44:01I'm an embarrassment to my parents.
00:44:03I'm just going to put that out there.
00:44:05So we're going to get the sex appeal back into this episode.
00:44:08And we're going to sell some DVDs.
00:44:12All right.
00:44:15See, we got a sexy vampire.
00:44:18Look at the contacts.
00:44:20Looking for some not milk, blood.
00:44:23Whoa.
00:44:24Stattered V8.
00:44:26Flossing.
00:44:27It's got to look good when he goes to Hollywood Video.
00:44:30Hollywood Video.
00:44:31I remember those.
00:44:33Dressed like a member of the Matrix.
00:44:35I was just going to say, it's like he was supposed to be cast in the Matrix.
00:44:42Or he's White Blade.
00:44:44Right.
00:44:45He could have definitely been in Blade.
00:44:47He's going to watch a lifelike DVD experience.
00:44:52Oh, it's too much for him.
00:44:55Captain Blood?
00:44:57Wait, why did that kill him?
00:44:59Because DVDs are so high quality.
00:45:03They're frighteningly lifelike.
00:45:05Yeah.
00:45:06So, you know, if the sun shows on a DVD, it's like the real thing.
00:45:11Next thing you know, he's going to go to a party where everyone's there having a good time.
00:45:15And he shows up in his Audi.
00:45:17Probably.
00:45:20I don't know about that one.
00:45:22No, I didn't like that one at all.
00:45:24And there wasn't any dialogue either.
00:45:28So you're saying it's a really strange marketing approach for them to be like, no, we'll sell DVDs.
00:45:33A vampire exploding.
00:45:36Exactly.
00:45:38Well, he also did an ad for Kellogg's.
00:45:45Dude, 90% of these have been the bat turning into Dracula.
00:45:49That was like his schtick, right?
00:45:53What a thief.
00:45:58And garlic.
00:46:00Who enjoys their cereal that much?
00:46:09Alright.
00:46:10It's either the sunlight killing him or the garlic killing him in almost every commercial so far.
00:46:15Have you ever enjoyed your cereal so much that you're just going...
00:46:21And you ate it throughout the whole night.
00:46:23That must have been several hours.
00:46:26But that last bite was the soggiest piece of cereal ever.
00:46:30I mean, he could have gone through the entire bowl.
00:46:33But even then...
00:46:35Or box, right.
00:46:36What was it? Two or three flakes at a time?
00:46:42Well, you know what? If he's going to eat like a weirdo like that, he deserved what happened to him.
00:46:46I'm sorry, but he did.
00:46:51He probably disappointed his family.
00:46:53Like this Dracula family who decided to sell some Nutri-Grain bars.
00:47:06They're like the monsters from the Addams Family.
00:47:13They don't look healthy.
00:47:14And these other vampires look healthier.
00:47:16I don't know how.
00:47:17But these ones look sickly.
00:47:19This is like the Addams Family meets the vampire family.
00:47:27Well, if you eat enough of those, you'll look like us.
00:47:30Vampires.
00:47:32It's strange too. Do Nutri-Grain bars allow you to be outside in the sun?
00:47:37Like, what happened to that punchline?
00:47:39Yeah, right? It was supposed to kill him.
00:47:42Well, I guess he was up bright and early so that he could go to his job selling cars.
00:47:48Oh, God.
00:47:54Oh, do you?
00:47:58Oh.
00:47:59Dracula, your car sucks.
00:48:01There's Frankenstein.
00:48:06Teen Wolf.
00:48:07Yep.
00:48:08Just loves to be able to save the truck.
00:48:11Bad guy.
00:48:13It's a dead woman.
00:48:15I guess she decided not to buy it.
00:48:17They just killed her.
00:48:20I don't know about that one, dude.
00:48:22That was definitely another, like, local spot.
00:48:25And, like, the people in the commercial are definitely folks that work there.
00:48:31I wish my work would do something like that.
00:48:34You say it.
00:48:35It's going to happen.
00:48:36They're going to be, all right, before you head out, can you dress up like Dracula?
00:48:42Can you dress up like Dracula?
00:48:45I'll say yes.
00:48:46This is the moment I have been waiting for for four years.
00:48:49Finally.
00:48:50All right.
00:48:51And how do you do your, I don't know, introduce a song by Post Malone as Dracula?
00:49:00Hold on.
00:49:01Let me figure this out.
00:49:02VanuHotVoto67.
00:49:05Wow by Post Malone.
00:49:08Prescott touchdown.
00:49:15It's hot.
00:49:18Just like that, man.
00:49:20So you were telling me earlier that you didn't believe in stereotypes, but the first chance you get.
00:49:30I'm just trying to mimic what we've seen so far.
00:49:35All right.
00:49:36So, so far we've seen the Betamax.
00:49:39That's the cool thing.
00:49:40The DVD player.
00:49:41That's the cool thing.
00:49:43What about streaming on Orange TV?
00:49:47What the hell is an Orange TV?
00:49:52Oh, my God.
00:49:54She's not scared at all.
00:49:57No, she has her choice of which Dracula version to watch.
00:50:01It's a Smackdown.
00:50:02They're laughing at it.
00:50:05Huh.
00:50:06Oh, I want that Dracula.
00:50:09The 90s version of Dracula.
00:50:11Oh, I get it.
00:50:12She's picking which one she wants.
00:50:19Oh, okay.
00:50:20We get it.
00:50:23I mean, honestly, you got to give her credit.
00:50:26I mean, it was kind of cool.
00:50:28She showed no fear.
00:50:29She smacked the Dracula around, said, you know, you're all competing for me.
00:50:35Yeah.
00:50:36You know, she was kind of a thirst trap for them, right?
00:50:39Yeah.
00:50:40They all wanted to impress her.
00:50:41They all wanted to be the one she watched.
00:50:44I will be your Dracula.
00:50:55I need to do that on Halloween.
00:50:56Absolutely.
00:50:58Oh, boy.
00:51:00It's not all streaming services.
00:51:02Sometimes you just got to sell some Pop-Tarts.
00:51:05You are correct.
00:51:08Hey, what mythical creature is half woman, half fish?
00:51:12Now there are trivial pursuit questions on Pop-Tarts.
00:51:15Wait, why are trivial pursuit questions on a Pop-Tart?
00:51:18I don't know.
00:51:19That kind of makes it more fun.
00:51:23Dolphin.
00:51:24Mermaid.
00:51:25Dracula, you're so stupid.
00:51:26I'm a mermaid.
00:51:29Over 200 questions on new printed fun Pop-Tarts.
00:51:32Dude, can they bring that back?
00:51:33Will you add the answer?
00:51:35Wait a minute.
00:51:36What?
00:51:37That sounds fun.
00:51:38Why did I never know about that?
00:51:40So Dracula has to look cool when he's in sexy mode.
00:51:44Can you say that one more time?
00:51:47Dracula has to look cool while he's in sexy mode.
00:51:51That's a statement I just said.
00:51:54Is there...
00:51:56What's some ways that make you look cooler?
00:51:59What do you wear?
00:52:01Oh, gosh.
00:52:02You wear a nice button-up.
00:52:03You wear some nice dress shoes.
00:52:06A nice clean tie.
00:52:09You actually take some time to style your hair up.
00:52:12You make yourself smell nice.
00:52:14All right.
00:52:15And if you don't want to put actually any real effort in,
00:52:17what's one thing that somebody does and puts on and just says,
00:52:19man, I look freaking cool?
00:52:21A hat.
00:52:23Smear your head.
00:52:26Is it a tie?
00:52:29Sunglasses.
00:52:30Sung...
00:52:31Okay, yeah, I'm an idiot.
00:52:32You pop on your Ray-Bans and you feel pretty dang cool.
00:52:37You feel like the coolest dude in the room.
00:52:42The Ray-Bans are going to protect the vampires from dying
00:52:45because they're such great sun-repellent glasses.
00:52:48They are the most 90s group of vampires.
00:52:51Yeah, they are grunge vampires.
00:52:54Oh, no, he forgot them.
00:52:56Oh, no.
00:52:57How would you even get that far before you realized
00:53:00you didn't have your Ray-Bans?
00:53:03And he's supposed to be their friends.
00:53:06Those are his friends, and they're laughing at his demise.
00:53:11Joe, come on.
00:53:13All right, so it has one of two implications.
00:53:16Did this guy who looks like the lead singer of Offspring as a vampire,
00:53:20did he have two pairs of sunglasses with him to do that joke,
00:53:24or did he steal that guy's sunglasses?
00:53:27That's a good question.
00:53:29It could be the whole Dumb and Dumber routine.
00:53:31You were wearing two pairs of gloves this whole time, right?
00:53:35Or maybe he stole them from him.
00:53:38Like you said, it could be both scenarios,
00:53:41and they would both make sense in the end.
00:53:43So then basically, he really hated his friend.
00:53:46Basically, he's a jerk,
00:53:48and those are the kind of friends you don't want.
00:53:51Those are 90s friends right there.
00:53:53Like they're all cool, they're all awesome,
00:53:55but they're all kind of assholes, and you wouldn't want to hang out with them.
00:53:58And they'd probably make a bet with you
00:54:00that you couldn't turn the ugliest girl in school into prom queen.
00:54:03Right, how cliche is that?
00:54:06She's wearing overalls.
00:54:08And a ponytail.
00:54:10And glasses.
00:54:11And there's paint on her.
00:54:13Oh, no.
00:54:15She doesn't have amazing bone structure,
00:54:17and a nice body already.
00:54:19No, let's just bypass that part.
00:54:23I like that they, even in the new movie,
00:54:25they kept that in, and they're like,
00:54:27dude, Tanner Buchanan already is dressed like,
00:54:29already built like one of those kids
00:54:31who has a modeling career.
00:54:33Yeah.
00:54:34And they're like, nope, nerd.
00:54:36He's anti-social.
00:54:37He takes pictures and hates people.
00:54:39Yeah, except he's ripped and has a six pack,
00:54:42and he can do like eight forms of karate.
00:54:45You say that about our next Tommy Oliver.
00:54:48So if you were being haunted by a vampire,
00:54:51what's the first thing you'd put in your house?
00:54:55Garlic, right?
00:54:57You'd want to hang up garlic in the house.
00:54:59You'd want to have a steak bedside
00:55:01like that one dude had with a hammer to it.
00:55:03So you'd want to make your own security system?
00:55:05You wouldn't just get some security company
00:55:09to make sure that your place is sealed up like Fort Knox?
00:55:13No, I think everything you would need
00:55:15to repel vampires, you can get at your local Kroger.
00:55:21Well, let's see if she went to Kroger
00:55:23for her self-defense,
00:55:25or if she actually spent a few dollars.
00:55:31Oh no, there he is.
00:55:34Oh yeah.
00:55:37Date rapist or Dracula?
00:55:40Oh yeah, the sound alarm will keep him away.
00:55:43It won't cost you an arm and a neck.
00:55:45Ah, it won't cost you an arm and a neck.
00:55:47That's a pretty clever punchline.
00:55:49I like that.
00:55:51Why does the alarm system look like the video cipher?
00:55:55I don't know.
00:55:57And why was it entirely in black and white
00:55:59until it showed the product again?
00:56:03Because the product is so good,
00:56:04it's like another dimension.
00:56:06It's another world, okay?
00:56:08This thing's bringing color into your world,
00:56:11and that's why creepy rapist Dracula runs away.
00:56:14Yeah.
00:56:16But sometimes you could go with Jeff's method of,
00:56:19oh, you know what?
00:56:20Why would I want an alarm system?
00:56:22I could just have garlic.
00:56:24It's a home remedy, right?
00:56:26It's a home remedy.
00:56:27Or you could just get a nice mattress.
00:56:33Yeah, because if you're sleeping well,
00:56:35he can't kill you.
00:56:36If you're leaving your window completely wide open.
00:56:40She sleeps very elegantly and very extra.
00:56:44He's going for it.
00:56:46He's going!
00:56:47I like that this was a record scratch.
00:56:49Yeah.
00:56:50And he's out.
00:56:52Posturepedic by Sealy.
00:56:59And he's dead from the sunlight.
00:57:01Seriously, do these all have to end one of two ways?
00:57:05Come on, man.
00:57:06Well, here's the thing.
00:57:08There's only a few ways to end it.
00:57:10Stop trying to think like you know all the answers.
00:57:14Like you're a creative genius.
00:57:16If this commercial had a garlic punch line.
00:57:19Yeah.
00:57:20It would have had it all, okay?
00:57:22It really would have.
00:57:24Now, if you keep dying from sunlight,
00:57:27you're going to need some vitamins to feel better after.
00:57:30Or at least some SPF.
00:57:36Graphics.
00:57:37There it is.
00:57:38Yeah, that.
00:57:39Pull the smoke.
00:57:40Let the over-exaggerated widow speak.
00:57:43That's drawn on with a pencil.
00:57:48And he's working nights.
00:57:54Wait, is it blood?
00:57:56Gosh, he's so pale.
00:57:58You wouldn't think he took vitamins at all.
00:58:01Ah.
00:58:03Put some bite back into your life.
00:58:05I like that.
00:58:06But I'm watching that, and I'm thinking,
00:58:08what was I just being sold?
00:58:10I don't want blood.
00:58:12No.
00:58:13I don't want whatever Dracula wants.
00:58:16That's meant for, I'm a human.
00:58:19What is he pitching me?
00:58:21I don't know, man.
00:58:23What was the other form it was available in?
00:58:27Tonic?
00:58:30What the heck does that mean?
00:58:33Is that like one you just drop into your drink or something?
00:58:37No, they meant the band tonic.
00:58:40If you could only see the way she loves me,
00:58:45then maybe you'd understand.
00:58:50Again, boom.
00:58:51Back to the vampire.
00:58:52Sonny D.
00:58:55Whoa.
00:58:56When did Sonny D get a cape?
00:58:59Wait, did Sonny D just flash him?
00:59:02Yeah, I think so.
00:59:04Sonny D just whipped out and Dracula couldn't take it.
00:59:08He just disintegrated.
00:59:10He disintegrated.
00:59:12He showed him that Sonny D.
00:59:14His Sonny D.
00:59:16Oh, no.
00:59:17There's probably rule 34 drawing of Sonny Delight bottles with a dick.
00:59:23There better not be.
00:59:25Come on.
00:59:26We're a higher class society than that.
00:59:29Come on.
00:59:30It blows its low.
00:59:32It's not semen.
00:59:33It's orange juice.
00:59:35Okay.
00:59:36This is getting cut out of the show.
00:59:38All right.
00:59:39We've gone too far.
00:59:40We're going to get demonetized.
00:59:42What do you mean?
00:59:44Why did you get demonetized?
00:59:45Oh, well, Sonny D had a dick.
00:59:49So Dracula wants Sonny Delight, but he's not able to have it.
00:59:53But what he also may want is some Doritos.
00:59:56Nacho cheese, man.
00:59:58Nacho cheese.
01:00:03All right.
01:00:04Damsel in distress.
01:00:06That is her boyfriend.
01:00:07Yep.
01:00:08Absolutely.
01:00:09It's what happens when all those romantic evenings turn into a relationship.
01:00:13Don't even think about it, sweet teeth.
01:00:17Gosh, he just shuts him down all the time.
01:00:20Glide on over here, nibbles.
01:00:26No wonder he's got that second chin.
01:00:28That guy is...
01:00:31I don't know about him, man.
01:00:33He is kind of terrifying.
01:00:37I think he's like one step above the homeless Dracula that we saw earlier.
01:00:43Oh, gosh.
01:00:44He was something else.
01:00:45Like if that homeless Dracula, you know, found himself a girl,
01:00:49got himself a little bit together and got a home,
01:00:52got himself fat from living in the suburbs.
01:00:55Yeah.
01:00:56That's what he would be.
01:00:57The American dream.
01:00:59The American dream for Dracula.
01:01:01Yeah.
01:01:03And finally, maybe he can endure some tomato sauce.
01:01:10You know, it could be a substitute for blood.
01:01:13Maybe he's going keto or something.
01:01:20All right, we start with a damsel in distress.
01:01:22I bet we're about to see a bat who turns into Dracula.
01:01:26Oh, no.
01:01:27It's not catch up.
01:01:29No.
01:01:31All right, she's still running.
01:01:32The blood's splattering.
01:01:34The double door's open.
01:01:36She's got a good 40 time.
01:01:40I mean, look at her climb those stairs.
01:01:42Right?
01:01:43She doesn't even stare down.
01:01:46Oh, gosh.
01:01:47Spiders, I freaking hate them.
01:01:50There he is.
01:01:51The man himself.
01:01:52Why is she choking herself?
01:01:54I didn't know.
01:01:55I did not know.
01:01:59This Dracula's abusive.
01:02:00I don't like him.
01:02:01Yes.
01:02:02No, he is manipulative.
01:02:03The other ones are suave.
01:02:05This guy looks like he's supposed to smack her upside the head with the tomato sauce can.
01:02:08Right, with a can of tomato sauce.
01:02:12He also looks like Kevin O'Leary from Shark Tank.
01:02:16Oh, no.
01:02:17Whoa.
01:02:18Wait.
01:02:19Hold on a minute.
01:02:20I don't know about that.
01:02:21Wait.
01:02:22Hold on.
01:02:23I don't really have many comments about that last one.
01:02:25It was kind of drawn out for nothing.
01:02:27Well, this is one I saw on Twitter that somebody linked.
01:02:30And apparently this guy used to like to do public access events.
01:02:36And he'd host them in character to promote Burger King in his local area of Richmond.
01:02:43Richmond where?
01:02:45Virginia.
01:02:46Really?
01:02:47Yeah.
01:02:48Dude, there's something to me about like the old school BK logo that just makes me feel good.
01:02:53Yeah, as soon as I saw this clip, I'm like, I need to know more about this.
01:02:58Yeah.
01:02:59Like this guy, he's got me hyped.
01:03:02I'll eat a crappy Burger King burger.
01:03:06Go for it, buddy.
01:03:13Hey, folks.
01:03:14Try our burgers.
01:03:16Hey.
01:03:20Hey, the count loves himself a good burger.
01:03:27Why do they call it a Burger King?
01:03:29Why can't it be a Burger Queen?
01:03:32At Burger King.
01:03:33And happy Halloween to you.
01:03:36What?
01:03:37Wait, what was that?
01:03:44Is the guy like stone or something?
01:03:46What was that?
01:03:47That's our cool older cousin Brad.
01:03:49Yeah.
01:03:50He makes himself like $23 an hour at Burger King managing the place.
01:03:55Yeah, we convinced him to do the ad.
01:03:58We bought him a Burger King gift card.
01:04:01You know, he's doing some stuff at the local community theater.
01:04:05Oh, and you should have saw him.
01:04:07He actually was a background actor for an episode of Perfect Strangers.
01:04:13You can see him like 12 minutes in.
01:04:16I don't know, man.
01:04:17He seemed like he had a pretty cool thing going.
01:04:19And then that laugh in the end just made me think completely different about him.
01:04:23So it kind of reminds me of like, you know, when you tell somebody like, hey, can you do this?
01:04:29And they're like, yeah, I could definitely do that.
01:04:31So I could just picture them being like, hey, at the end of this, can you do the Dracula laugh?
01:04:37Yeah.
01:04:38And then like halfway through, he's like, wait a damn second.
01:04:41How the hell does Dracula laugh?
01:04:43And then it comes time for him to do the laugh.
01:04:45He's just like.
01:04:47And then the guy behind the camera is like, what the hell did he just do?
01:04:51We'll take it, man.
01:04:52I want to get out of here.
01:04:54Nobody will know.
01:04:55Nobody will care.
01:04:56This is on public access.
01:04:58Right.
01:04:59Right.
01:05:00It airs every year in Richmond to this day.
01:05:03And then this guy had to go to his other job of filming another local commercial.
01:05:08Now, I was pissed because this commercial that I see right here cuts off 10 seconds in.
01:05:13And I wish I could see the full version of.
01:05:16No.
01:05:17What happened?
01:05:18I got tired of those long, boring nights.
01:05:20Oh, my God.
01:05:21The Palmer video.
01:05:22I pick up great movies.
01:05:24On board the Defiant.
01:05:25So the three members of his crew.
01:05:27Don't you feel ripped off?
01:05:29No.
01:05:30I need to see the conclusion of this, Joe.
01:05:32Find it.
01:05:33What is Dracula doing on his long, lonely nights?
01:05:37What video store did he say?
01:05:39What was that?
01:05:41He went to.
01:05:42I got tired of those long, boring nights.
01:05:46Here.
01:05:47The Palmer video.
01:05:48I pick up great movies.
01:05:50On board the Defiant.
01:05:52So the three members of his crew.
01:05:54No, we need it.
01:05:55Palmer video.
01:05:56Palmer video.
01:05:57Where are you in this world?
01:05:59He's somebody somewhere has a copy of this.
01:06:02He's kind of my favorite of the voice actors, isn't he?
01:06:05Like, he was easily the most committed.
01:06:08I got tired.
01:06:10Yeah.
01:06:11And he had, like, different cadences.
01:06:12And then he would get closer to the camera.
01:06:14And he was good.
01:06:16I guess you had to go to Palmer video.
01:06:18You're done with all the Betamax stuff you recorded.
01:06:21Yeah.
01:06:22Pre DVD.
01:06:24Speaking of local commercials, can we do an episode of Pop Culture
01:06:27Paradise where we just review all the local main commercials and riff
01:06:33on them, please?
01:06:34Yeah.
01:06:35Because I'm going to pull a bunch from Northern Mattress Furniture
01:06:37Company.
01:06:38Yes.
01:06:39We have seen all the Draculas here today.
01:06:42And I have to ask the question.
01:06:45Does Dracula make a better pitch man than our current champion,
01:06:50the immortal Hulk Hogan?
01:06:54You know, my initial answer is absolutely not.
01:06:57Hogan is the king.
01:06:59He is the best for a reason.
01:07:01But there were so many different types of Draculas.
01:07:04Now, the real question is, can we get Hulk Hogan dressed as Dracula
01:07:08trying to pitch something?
01:07:12Hey, I think for the right amount of money, Hogan would do it.
01:07:15Okay.
01:07:16Right.
01:07:17We'll have to put our checks together, bro.
01:07:19So, I am going to give the win to...
01:07:24I'm going to give it to...
01:07:26The champ retains.
01:07:28Hogan just does it with a little bit more charm, I guess.
01:07:34Right.
01:07:35Right.
01:07:36And he's a real person.
01:07:37Dracula is a fictional, you know, being.
01:07:40That's true.
01:07:41And the ways that Hogan shocked us, I felt like just kept changing.
01:07:46Whereas Dracula, at a certain point,
01:07:48became one of four different types of endings.
01:07:52Yeah, pretty much.
01:07:53It was all...
01:07:54A lot of them had the same thing, you know, with the black and white
01:07:58and then the color and then the reveal of the garlic
01:08:01or the reveal of the sunlight.
01:08:04But, dude, you know, for the few bad ones that were in there
01:08:08and the few creepy, just strange Draculas,
01:08:11there were some pretty good ones,
01:08:12even like ones that were so bad that they were good.
01:08:14You know what I mean?
01:08:15And which one was your favorite?
01:08:18Oh, man.
01:08:21I really...
01:08:22Let me think one second.
01:08:24You go first.
01:08:25I got to think.
01:08:27You know...
01:08:29My favorite.
01:08:30All right.
01:08:31My favorite is the guy that was luring vampire women to his bedroom
01:08:37just to put a stake through their heart.
01:08:42And then he would collect all the teeth.
01:08:44That could be a TV show.
01:08:46I'd watch that.
01:08:47You know, my favorite might have to be the cheese commercial.
01:08:50Just because she straight murdered him with cheese.
01:08:54She did.
01:08:55And she was slick about it.
01:08:57Slick.
01:08:58And he was just being arrogant like,
01:08:59oh, Dracula knows all about the cheeses.
01:09:03Is it Gouda?
01:09:04Is it Velveeta?
01:09:07What did Dracula...
01:09:09And then I want to buy that.
01:09:10I want to bite your finger game.
01:09:11That looked interesting.
01:09:13We need to play that for the show.
01:09:15It's like Crocodile Dentist, just way more lethal.
01:09:19Except we'll put a razor blade in there,
01:09:21and it'll get real interesting.
01:09:24And then we'll play till the sun comes up.
01:09:26And if any of you are vampires, you're dead.
01:09:30Also, bonus points for you.
01:09:32If you can actually locate that local commercial for the video store.
01:09:39He was on track to be the best Dracula that we've seen.
01:09:43But it was cut short because it was clearly filmed,
01:09:46and then someone's like,
01:09:47stop, you're filming over my Star Trek.
01:09:51It's what happened back in the day when you were like,
01:09:54how much tape space do I have left?
01:09:56Oh, I'll try to cut as close to it as I can
01:09:59so most of the commercials are gone.
01:10:01And now you're like, oh, no,
01:10:02the commercials are the artifacts worth keeping.
01:10:05All this other stuff is preserved.
01:10:06It's out on DVD.
01:10:08And it's streaming somewhere right now.
01:10:11Out on the best, streaming on Orange TV?
01:10:14Yeah.
01:10:15Where you could pick any kind of Dracula.
01:10:17Now, I want to know you, the audience,
01:10:19what your favorite Dracula was.
01:10:21And if you like and want to see more
01:10:24and want to suggest a topic for Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up,
01:10:28what do they do?
01:10:29Just please like this video, comment, and or subscribe, all three,
01:10:33if you're feeling up to it.
01:10:35My name is Jeff.
01:10:36His name is Joe.
01:10:37And this has been Pop Culture Paradise.
01:10:39Peace.
01:10:40And we will see you next week.
01:10:42Bye.
01:10:43Bye.
01:10:45Now, where's a Coca-Cola for me to shotgun?
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