Growing up, Audrey sees that her brother craves negative attention. As he grows, he becomes withdrawn and obsessed with the macabre. His family worries about Jake’s darkness, but no one understands just how deadly he can be — especially to those he loves.
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Right before midnight, that's when he went in his room in his closet and got the gun
00:24and the bullets and he went upstairs and he knocked on Mallory's door and that's when
00:32he shot her and she fell down the stairs and then he ran into the study and mom confronted
00:39him at the door and then he shot her.
00:52He then like realized Mallory was still alive.
00:56Once he realized she was still alive, what did he do?
01:04It's just hard for me to like go there, it's just that she suffered and it just upsets
01:14me that like in that moment when he realized that Mallory was still alive, why didn't he
01:19let her run out that front door or call 911?
01:25I want y'all to ask Jake if like that was ever a thought in his head like in that moment
01:31and I want to know why he feels like he's an evil person and like you know, why this
01:38did happen.
01:56There are times mainly when I'm alone with all the time to think that there is this real
02:02dark narcissistic entity that doesn't care about anything.
02:07I did have something in the back of my mind that I needed to just commit this evil act,
02:16you know, just this desire for infamy.
02:21I made a decision that I wanted to be known for something bad and evil.
02:51Oh, this is a picture of me and my mom, Mallory and Jake and I just love this picture.
03:20Yeah.
03:25Our mom and our dad gave us the best childhood.
03:29I'm so grateful for it.
03:32We grew up in the country, we'd always go swimming, go for walks in the woods.
03:39We honestly had the dreamlike childhood.
03:44Jake had lots of friends, he loved being outside, he loved sports.
03:53Jake and I were always like the closest, we're both introverts so we always got each other
03:58in that kind of way.
04:00We'd just go outside and ride four wheelers and just be goofy together.
04:09My mom was lovely.
04:11She just had such a heart for everybody.
04:17I think that's like where my heart comes from is her.
04:24She just loved us kids so perfectly.
04:29Mallory was definitely the funny one.
04:33She didn't have a fear in the world.
04:36She just wanted to make everybody laugh.
04:41Mallory loved that dress, just like a free bird.
04:46She was actually like buried in that dress, yeah.
04:53Yeah I can't, I can't handle it, I can't go there.
05:02Like when it comes to her, I just, I can't bear it.
05:07So I just put that all up so I can continue on living life without her.
05:37This is a picture of me and Jake and it makes me sad because this was like May of 2012.
05:58His freshman year of high school, that's when me and Jake's bond just like wasn't the same
06:04and he started isolating himself and just wanting to be alone.
06:11He seemed angry all the time.
06:13That's just like when he started carrying that dark energy.
06:18Like I can just see his eyes are just different to me.
06:23It just wasn't Jake.
06:25I could tell something was off.
06:29I want to know specifically like when those dark thoughts started coming in his mind.
06:45One day Jake and I were in the kitchen and we were making a snack and I said something
06:52and it upset Jake and he picked up the knife and he like went like this towards me.
07:00I was scared.
07:03Just the look in his face, it was not Jake.
07:07His eyes were like just blank.
07:09I could just see the anger in his eyes.
07:12It looked like he really wanted to hurt me.
07:15Jake looked evil and it was a look I've never seen before.
07:21But then I think he saw in my face that I was scared and he stopped himself.
07:33He snapped out of it and put the knife down.
07:39I was worried about him but afterwards we never talked about it.
07:45We just kind of pretended like it never happened.
07:49That's one like regret that I have is just not talking to him about it.
07:53But I didn't think he wanted to talk about it.
07:56Like I'm not one to push, push somebody.
08:13I would always be in charge of like picking up Mallory and Jake from school.
08:18And then one day I went and picked up Jake from school and...
08:35I think he just darted to my car.
08:41He just walked so fast like he was, he couldn't handle whatever was going on at the time.
08:47Like just couldn't handle it.
08:52And I think I did ask like what's wrong and he was like just go, just go.
08:58I wasn't sure what had happened, if someone was bothering him at school, if something
09:04had happened.
09:05But he just looked humiliated and pissed off.
09:10I think he was experiencing not nice students in there.
09:16He just wanted to get the heck out of there.
09:26We were just having a conversation about like our personalities and then Mallory said something
09:33to Jake about like being a loner.
09:35I think Jake is by himself a lot.
09:38What's that supposed to mean?
09:41And then Jake just took it so personally and he blew up.
09:50He was like a wild animal in a cage.
09:53Like he started like hitting the back of Mallory's headrest, pounding like over and over.
09:58I had never seen anything like that.
10:02I was screaming at him and telling him to stop.
10:05You can't hurt her.
10:06You can't hurt her.
10:07Jake, that's enough.
10:09Jake kept on saying over and over again, Audrey, you think I would really hurt her?
10:13You think I would really hurt her?
10:15And yeah, I did.
10:18I really did.
10:19I think he wanted to hurt her.
10:21Jake!
10:22Stop!
10:23I just remember that I really was so scared that he was going to hurt her because I was
10:34just always scared of something happening to her and in that moment I was so scared.
10:42But then Jake just all of a sudden stopped himself.
10:50We rode home in silence.
10:51He didn't want to talk about it.
10:55There's so many things that I would do differently now.
10:58If I could go back, I would have sat down with Jake outside and just asked him how he
11:06was.
11:07Because that's like, that's my biggest thing now is just making sure someone is okay.
11:15It ended up being the worst tragedy.
11:20I told my sister that my mom needed her and I shot her.
11:26She rolled down the stairs and I shot her again and then I went down and I shot my mom
11:32about three or four times.
11:36Are you sure they're dead?
11:38Yes.
11:51I remember this day too.
11:54We went and had sushi with us girls and we got yogurt.
12:02I was 19 and she was almost 15.
12:08Mallory wasn't just my sister, she was my best friend, my person.
12:14We were so close and I was, like I've said, so protective of her, like she was like my
12:21little Miss Sunshine, my baby sister.
12:26We would make funny videos together.
12:28My favorite memory of me and Audrey is like when we were in the car together and like
12:35we sing and dance and stuff.
12:37Aww, my little sister.
12:40We love to get in the car and drive around and...
12:49This is hard.
12:52When it comes to Mallory, I just have a wall up, like I can't, I can't go there because
12:58if I truly like felt it, I think it would kill me.
13:01That's how like she was my person.
13:09A huge part of me died when Mallory died.
13:22Me, Mallory, our mom, and Jake were all in the living room watching the news about a
13:35mass shooting at the theater in Colorado.
13:39Like it was quiet in the room and we were just paying attention to like what we were
13:44seeing on the TV.
13:46And then Jake, all of a sudden, he like looked at us and he was like, what, y'all think I
13:52would do something like that?
13:53Y'all think I would do something like that?
13:57I know what you're thinking.
13:59Nobody said anything.
14:01We were just dumbfounded.
14:04We were like, what?
14:06Like, what do you mean?
14:07That just came out of nowhere.
14:10I think Jake was paranoid and in his mind he truly thought like that's what we were
14:14thinking.
14:15Like, oh, our brother would do something like this.
14:24We were definitely like creeped out by that comment and we talked about it with each other
14:29and we were just like, well, you know, what is going on with Jake?
14:33What is his problem?
14:35Mom would just say, I have this handle.
14:37Jake is going through a lot right now.
14:41I was freaked out, but then I think I just told myself like, you know, what mom had been
14:47telling us.
14:48Like, he's just going through a lot right now.
14:51So you didn't think he's about to do something crazy?
14:55No.
14:56No.
14:57Because if I, if I truly like thought he was going to do something, I would have never
15:01went off to college.
15:06Before I went off to college, Jake and I were talking at like the foyer and he was like,
15:21Audrey, you have changed.
15:23You're not the same person.
15:25And he was like, you're becoming like, just like them.
15:30You're becoming like the rest of the family.
15:33Like, when did you change?
15:35I just said, what do you mean?
15:37I don't understand.
15:39And then he just walked away.
15:47Did you give it much credence?
15:50It bothered me.
15:52Yeah, it bothered me.
15:56My mom walked me out and I got in my car and my teenage self, I was in such a hurry and
16:02Mallory was up taking a shower and I was like, oh, it's okay.
16:08I'll see her in a few weeks, you know?
16:10So I didn't say bye to her.
16:14But I like looked in my mirror and I could just see her at the front door, like, waving at me.
16:23That was the last time I saw her.
16:33I woke up and I looked at my phone and I saw that I had like 15 missed calls and a few voicemails from my dad.
16:46And I listened to them and I could tell in his voice, like, something bad had happened.
16:51I called him and just like the tone in his voice, I was like, oh my God.
16:59And just like the tone in his voice, I knew it was something so bad.
17:05And he was like, Audrey, I'm about to get on a plane, but I have to tell you.
17:10I have to tell you something.
17:12And I was begging dad.
17:14I was like, I don't want you to tell me.
17:16Like, don't tell me.
17:17I don't want to know.
17:18I don't want to know.
17:20But he said, your mother and your sister have been killed.
17:25And I just...
17:31I just went crazy.
17:34I just started like, I started screaming and yelling.
17:42I mean, I just like, I wanted out of my body.
17:46And then dad said, there's something else I have to tell you.
17:51And he said, your brother's in custody.
17:55And for some reason in that moment, I just knew.
18:01It just clicked in my head.
18:02Like, just like all those, you know, signs and like Jake acting, you know, different.
18:10And I just started screaming again.
18:13I'm going to kill him.
18:14I'm going to kill him.
18:15Like, I really like wanted to.
18:31We were all sitting down and then they brought to our attention Jake's original plan was to kill him.
18:39His plan was to kill mom and Mallory and then wait.
18:44Because he knew the next day my dad and my sister and me were going to be home.
18:51And he was going to wait and kill us all.
18:57And just like, just knowing that like I could have lost everybody, I broke down.
19:06It terrified me.
19:08It pissed me off.
19:13It was devastating.
19:16I think I was afraid of that one.
19:18That one like was a deep one for me.
19:22That was a deep one.
19:23I almost like, I just didn't want to go there.
19:25When you left, what were you thinking?
19:27Maybe like deep in the back of my mind, I like, I did wonder why this did happen.
19:38Why did you decide to do this interview and talk to us today?
20:02Why did you decide to do this interview and talk to us today?
20:06Amazingly, it has to do with the word evil.
20:11I was obviously infatuated with that word and I still am today.
20:16I still consider myself evil.
20:32What was that plan?
20:33What was that plan?
20:34Like what did you plan to do initially that day?
20:37Even though I didn't know how exactly I would commit the crime I had in my mind,
20:47kill all my family members and eventually possibly either go to the elementary school,
20:58the priority was committing an evil act against my family.
21:07It was just something you felt inside.
21:09You wanted to do it that day.
21:10Yeah.
21:14There's no logical reason.
21:18Strangely, there's no anger driving all that.
21:21It was just this desire for infamy.
21:24I guess the headlines were basically attention and it didn't matter who it was.
21:31It was just this idea of being known for something bad and evil.
21:48Probably around four or five in the afternoon,
21:52that's when I started just walking around outside.
21:55I guess that's when the dialogue started because I did have something in the back of my mind
22:00that I needed to just commit this evil act.
22:05I was going back and forth convincing myself that this needed to happen
22:10and also kind of criticizing myself for being a weakling.
22:16And that went on for at least three hours, I would say.
22:21And then once I got in the house,
22:24I considered that time where I was like,
22:28all right, well, it's now or never.
22:34I looked in the mirror and I had the gun cocked
22:40and I basically said,
22:44either you or her.
22:47After about just 30 seconds of staring at my reflection,
22:53walked to her door and knocked.
22:58I believe I said,
23:00J. Mel, Mom needs you for something.
23:04She walked out her door and
23:08I was holding the gun, you know,
23:12and she saw me in the peripheral vision
23:17and she was like, don't do that, J.
23:21That's not funny.
23:26I pulled the trigger and she fell down the stairs.
23:32I ran down the stairs to where she was laying
23:36and shot her in the side of the head.
23:45After that, I just ran to where I knew my mom was in the study
23:51and she saw me with the gun.
23:55She asked, what's wrong?
23:59I believe the first time I shot her,
24:02it was in the cheek area, left side of her face,
24:07and then she fell sideways against the wall.
24:12I shot her again in the side of the head.
24:19At that point, I thought it was over.
24:23That's when I started hearing Mallory screaming.
24:27I'd never heard a person make that kind of a sound before,
24:32even though I don't think about that incident very often.
24:36I think of her screaming, you know, quite often
24:42because it's just something you can't really forget.
24:48She ran to me and she said,
24:52she ran to my parents' bedroom.
24:56I was following her. Blood was dripping everywhere.
25:01I don't believe the chamber was fully loaded,
25:06so when I was pulling the trigger, you know, I wasn't firing.
25:11So I was steadily clicking away as I was following her
25:15and I was wondering, you know, why isn't it going off?
25:18She was actually heading to the front door,
25:21and that's when the gun filing went off.
25:25Shot her at least three more times in the head.
25:29And then I believe I also went back to the study.
25:36I knew, basically knew my mom was dead at that point,
25:40but I just wanted to make sure.
25:49How do you feel about it now?
25:54Empty. I have no compassion for myself.
25:58I wish I could react to it like a normal person would
26:03or somebody with compassion and empathy.
26:10I don't know why I can...
26:16recount all that and not...
26:23have any emotion.
26:26You know, looking back at what I said in the 9-1-1 call,
26:30it was sort of a relief to finally...
26:35let somebody know all the...
26:40all the dark stuff that I've been planning for months.
26:47I just killed my mom and my sister.
26:49You just killed your mother and your sister?
26:51How did you do that?
26:53I shot him with a .22 revolver.
26:57Is there any reason that you were so angry
26:59at your mother and your sister?
27:01It's weird. I wasn't even really angry with them.
27:04It just kind of happened.
27:07I've been planning on killing for a while now.
27:11The two of them or just anybody?
27:14Pretty much anybody.
27:23When Jake was arrested, like, after everything happened,
27:27we all listened to the 9-1-1 call.
27:29Hearing that Mallory was, like, alive after she got shot,
27:33I remember just going ballistic.
27:37Just knowing that she went through that,
27:39it was the worst moment.
27:49Audrey wants to know one of her main questions
27:52is why you didn't just let her run out the front door.
27:55She was able to run. She was able to scream.
27:58She could have survived, right?
28:01Now looking back, thinking about the possibility
28:04of Mallory surviving, I never realized that, that possibility.
28:09This whole time I was thinking,
28:11there's just too much damage at that point.
28:16I've always wondered, like, what could have happened?
28:20In my mind, like, something had to have happened
28:23for him to just change so drastically.
28:27I don't know.
28:32I don't know.
28:34I don't know.
28:36I don't know.
28:38I don't know.
28:40I don't know.
28:42I don't know.
28:45So I looked in the mirror.
28:49I...
28:51I, uh...
28:53had the gun cocked and I was basically said,
28:57uh,
28:59either you or her.
29:02And, uh, after about 30 seconds of,
29:06you know, staring at my reflection,
29:10walked to her door
29:13and knocked.
29:15Mm.
29:21Yeah, I've never heard it like that.
29:23And just, like, watching him, like, you know, say it,
29:26it's just, yeah.
29:28Just, like, the whole, like, you know, him going,
29:33um, like, in the guest room or whatever,
29:36or whatever room, you know, that was,
29:38and, like, the whole, like, mirror thing,
29:40like, he had that, like, that moment.
29:43Like, yeah.
29:47He's obviously dealing with, like, something,
29:50whether that's, like, I don't know,
29:53the devil or, you know, like, a mental...
29:57something going on.
30:00♪♪
30:08And then, uh, I know she was coming down the stairs.
30:13She ran to the, my parents' bedroom.
30:17I was following her.
30:19So when I was, uh, pulling the trigger, you know,
30:22it wasn't firing, and, uh, she made her way back.
30:27She was actually heading to the front door,
30:29and that's when, uh, the gun firing went off.
30:34Shot her at least three more times in the head.
30:38Mm.
30:40♪♪
30:45Yeah, I didn't realize it was that.
30:47Like, Jake was following her into, like, Mom's room,
30:51and then, like, that whole time,
30:53like, trying to make the gun like that.
30:55Yeah, I...
30:57That hasn't been anywhere, like,
30:59the 9-1-1 call or, like, the confession.
31:03Mm-mm.
31:06Yeah.
31:07It makes it way more horrifying.
31:10♪♪
31:19When would you say the dark thoughts began?
31:23♪♪
31:25I would say, uh, on eighth grade.
31:30And how long were you planning to kill?
31:33I think, uh, an event that sort of, uh,
31:39started to make me ponder on it more was, uh,
31:43the...
31:45the shooting that took place at the Colorado Theater.
31:51And that's also when I started, you know,
31:54uh, Googling, uh,
31:57teenagers who had committed heinous crimes.
32:04So you felt an urge to commit a crime like that?
32:08Right.
32:09But it was mainly for that, uh,
32:13just that label,
32:15the headlines, and, uh,
32:17basically attention.
32:19Mainly, I was imagining the way people would look at me,
32:22like in chains, you know, a jumpsuit.
32:25♪♪
32:30Wow, that's so crazy,
32:32because when I was telling y'all this story,
32:35I mean, I just told y'all this story,
32:37it just blows my mind that that's the moment
32:40where he started, like, having those thoughts, you know?
32:43I see that he had a desire
32:46to be known as the most evil kid.
32:50Had you ever told your mom you were thinking dark things?
32:54I did, as a matter of fact.
32:56It was, uh, about two years before the incident.
33:00I just said, you and Dad seriously need to consider,
33:04you know, having me institutionalized.
33:08I don't think she responded to that at first,
33:11and I said something else.
33:13And, uh, eventually I said, uh,
33:16I have this desire to harm one of our neighbors.
33:23And, uh...
33:26the only response she had to that was, uh...
33:30It would be really bad for you, Jake,
33:32if you were convicted of a crime.
33:36She was basically implying that I'd have a hard time in prison.
33:43I didn't know he had said that about, like,
33:46oh, and you should put me, you know,
33:49you should put me, like, in a mental hospital or whatever.
33:53I think my mom truly thought that she could help Jake.
33:57Like, she could do it all on her own.
33:59Like, she could save Jake.
34:01Do you think he's being honest about that,
34:04since you don't have a way to ask your mom?
34:06I think he's being honest about it.
34:09I mean, he was obviously at that time, like,
34:12wanting some sort of attention,
34:15because he wasn't...
34:18getting it.
34:20He had a fascination, an obsession.
34:23Just imagined himself, like, you know, in chains or whatever.
34:27I think that's why he thinks he's evil,
34:30is because some part of him, like, wanted that.
34:33He wanted to look like the most evil kid in America.
34:38Why did you do it?
34:41I had this idea that I wanted that sort of infamy,
34:45and it didn't matter who it was.
34:50I didn't believe I was capable of being known for something good,
34:55so I made a decision that I wanted to be known for something bad.
35:01I didn't believe I was capable of being known for something good.
35:05And then I wanted to be known for something bad and evil.
35:10It breaks my heart...
35:13that he, like, he didn't think he was known for something good.
35:17It makes me so sad.
35:20It was like he, like, just hit, like, a dead end,
35:23and he, like, didn't think that he was good for anything.
35:36There are definitely people out there who might be critical of you.
35:41Like, you had it all.
35:43I just can't understand why you would want to do something like that.
35:48It just doesn't make sense.
35:51I always felt like I was just an alien
35:56in the midst of regular human beings.
36:00Like, just simply being called a weirdo
36:04almost like they're saying I'm an abomination.
36:07I don't take that as well as most people do.
36:11It feeds that dark into the, you know, just simple things like that.
36:18And I believe that's what triggers the alter ego.
36:25I've developed this mindset to where I believe it's all right
36:30to have these thoughts of wanting to harm people
36:34as long as you don't act on it.
36:40Do the thoughts bother you, though?
36:43Yes.
36:45Yeah.
36:47Do you still feel the urge to kill?
36:51No.
36:53Did anybody believe that?
36:56They shouldn't believe it, but I'll say I am done with it.
37:04I don't believe I'll ever overcome that.
37:07That's just nature.
37:10But I've sort of accepted that, I guess,
37:15around the age of 25, 26, that I'll never be, you know, normal.
37:20But that doesn't mean I have to be a monster.
37:25I think he's trying to make sense of, you know, like, why did this happen?
37:29And so in his mind, he's like, okay, I'm evil.
37:31Like, that's the only reason why it happened.
37:35It's like he surrendered to that darkness inside of him.
37:40But in my mind, that doesn't make him evil.
37:43In my mind, like, that was an evil act, but it doesn't define who Jake is.
37:56Forgiveness is a choice.
37:59I'm solid in that choice to forgive Jake.
38:01I mean, people say all the time, I can't imagine forgiving your brother.
38:04And I always say, like, you don't know how you're going to feel
38:07until you go through something like that.
38:11My dad was saying for him to be able to get past it and to heal himself,
38:17he needed to forgive Jake.
38:21Because anger would only, you know, hurt him.
38:26I feel like, yeah, that dark energy that Jake carried,
38:30I feel like I truly feel in my heart that it ended when he dialed 911.
38:46I do forgive my brother, and I have love for my brother,
38:49and I want to spend time with my brother.
38:51But me being a mother, I do have to be, you know, cautious
38:57and, like, smart about it, like, just naturally.
39:00Like, yeah, I do have those fears.
39:10I'm grateful.
39:12More than likely, the rest of my life, I don't deserve it.
39:14But I'm grateful.
39:16I want them to know, first of all, that I'm sorry.
39:26I hope they know how much this has affected me.
39:30Do you wish you could take it back?
39:32Absolutely.
39:42My favorite are sushi dates.
39:45Because when we got close, like, two peas in a pod.
39:49Yes, two peas in a pod.
39:52Mallory was so beautiful.
39:55From the moment she was born, she was so precious to me.
39:59Good morning.
40:01Looking back, I'm just so grateful that I got to, like,
40:04have that close relationship.
40:06And, like, that's ingrained in my heart forever.
40:09I think the hardest thing about not having my mom
40:14is when I have my babies, though.
40:16Like, that's been the hardest part.
40:19Like, I missed her before, but even more now.
40:26Now that I'm a mom, I totally understand, you know,
40:31my dad's forgiveness.
40:33My dad talks about how it's a choice to forgive Jake.
40:38Like, my boys could do, you know, anything,
40:41and I'm still gonna, like, forgive them right away,
40:44no matter what, and love them.
40:48I think our, like, our forgiveness for Jake,
40:53just compassion,
40:57I think that's the biggest reason
40:59why I wanted to, like, tell her story.
41:12Jimmy Tench is, without a doubt, an evil human being.
41:16I would love to hear him finally admit
41:18that he's the one that murdered our mother.
41:20Everybody that testified throughout the trial lied.
41:23The evidence doesn't lie, though.
41:26Did you kill your mother?