Originally uploaded: September 3rd, 2023
Youtube Link: https://youtu.be/KfP2UiqBG6I
https://linktr.ee/aleshapeterson
*I'm behind on Odysee
Filename: RIP Angus Cloud2.mp4
Original Youtube Description:
#1. After my experiences, I learned the hard way there's still a stigma.
#2. I'm not announcing that anywhere yet, but we are going to hit the ground running. I'm just going to add those on to the speeches I'm already doing.
#3. For my own good, I had to make my shell really hard, enough to not let anything crush me. People have done mean and cruel things just to see if they would get a reaction out of me. I mentally prepared before hand because I know/knew what they are trying to do. Get the better of me, then laugh. I don't care that I'm their target, but I'm aware.
#4. Who I trust is far, few and in-between nowadays. I make it hard to get next to me for good reasons.
Youtube Link: https://youtu.be/KfP2UiqBG6I
https://linktr.ee/aleshapeterson
*I'm behind on Odysee
Filename: RIP Angus Cloud2.mp4
Original Youtube Description:
#1. After my experiences, I learned the hard way there's still a stigma.
#2. I'm not announcing that anywhere yet, but we are going to hit the ground running. I'm just going to add those on to the speeches I'm already doing.
#3. For my own good, I had to make my shell really hard, enough to not let anything crush me. People have done mean and cruel things just to see if they would get a reaction out of me. I mentally prepared before hand because I know/knew what they are trying to do. Get the better of me, then laugh. I don't care that I'm their target, but I'm aware.
#4. Who I trust is far, few and in-between nowadays. I make it hard to get next to me for good reasons.
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00hi my name is Alicia and this is your first time visiting my channel welcome I got a new chain from
00:21four four crafts and I got my auntie shirt so I want to get right into it rest in peace Angus
00:27cloud there is a quotes that his family said that I want to say find it my bad it is here we go
00:48Angus was open about his battle with mental health and we hope that his passing can be a reminder to
00:57others that they are not alone and should not fight this on their own in silence I appreciate
01:04his family for saying that because there was many times in my life when I've watched friends pass
01:10away I was made fun of punished called stupid you know why are you expecting us to help you and so
01:18seeing that and hearing that feels good I car engine all noise in the world I lost friends to both
01:31overdoses and suicide and at the time of this video I do not know what his cause of death is but being
01:38the friend in the situation I feel like people disappeared people said like I said throw me
01:47away like a piece of trash like recently I posted on Facebook some music projects and I've had people
01:54take me off Facebook simply because I said hey this is starting to be too much this was too much for me
01:59at these different periods of my life let me repeat that this that and the other all these situations
02:07was too much for me to handle in my early 20s and once again I was shown in that exact moment
02:16hey when you start opening up and speaking your mind you know people throw you away like a piece of
02:24shit throw you away like a piece of trash and it's crazy because I've been having some readings
02:30recently that said hey you shouldn't feel like people are just going to come into your life and
02:35hurt you sorry buds it's a day late in dollar short I feel this way all the time it's crazy because
02:43right before I made this video I met this other lady and a few other people that lost people to
02:49suicide in their life and so this is not something I'm announcing yet on social media but we are going
02:58to all link up and we are going to travel all over the place and spread more awareness on suicide
03:04prevention hey it kind of cut me off but like I said in the last clip I'm not making a worldwide
03:11announcement about that yet we recently just met and just decided to link and decided to keep spreading
03:19the message because there's still a stigma against mental illness and we feel like if we link up and go
03:26across the world with it we can get some stuff done reminder I am not doing this for fame I'm not
03:33doing this to get attention I am doing this because I've had enough friends and family pass away from
03:39both suicide and overdose overdoses and suicides where I feel obligated to just start speaking up and I will
03:48tell you in my situations in particular I just felt like people left people weren't very nice to me
03:58about it basically said you know you're just playing victim you know you know get over your friends desk
04:08move on and they were just mean and that really showed me again there's still a stigma against mental
04:18illness because at the funerals people are like what could we have done to help what could we have
04:24done differently but then when they were alive people accused them of being victims and you're weak
04:32you're not strong so we had to really change the mentality around that folks and I'm trying to think of
04:40what else I need to say let me think give me one second okay just out of it one of the things I am
04:52going to start saying in my speeches and stuff like that is don't disappear on people when somebody
04:56passes away in their life just send them a text to say hey like I don't know what you're experiencing
05:02and I don't know if I'm saying the right words but I want you to know I'm here for you and even if
05:06you don't know what to say just sitting with somebody in silence is the best thing you can do
05:11for somebody because I know it's in a lot of my situations people disappeared they didn't say
05:16anything and by time I had the fifth suicide the the sixth overdose I started to question if I really
05:24had friends because people just kept disappearing and keep disappearing and while I understand like
05:31death and grief is a very scary thing damn it don't disappear on people I think that's just the worst
05:38thing people people can do to somebody just disappear say that in the text and just wait for them to come
05:49to you don't get mad because they don't open up to you in the ways that you think they should
05:53it's about to cut me off again I'll be right back it cut me off again but number one don't disappear
06:02on people but number two I'm going to get to the point but I'm going to explain something I generally
06:08don't like to ask for help because it's come with too much dreams too much stigma too much fear
06:14I've had friends turn other friends against me I've had people talk about me behind my back I've had
06:20people say that did things I didn't do all because I said listen this is above my pay grade and I think
06:27I want some help and the help that I desired needed and wanted at different periods of my life
06:32really didn't exist and so I had to make very hard decisions I said hey Leisha we're either going to
06:40figure this out on our own or we're not going to figure it out at all and so I just want to say
06:46for people out there who are like me who don't open up easily be patient so when you send that text
06:57when you call and they don't respond don't get angry at them or get irritated by them because they
07:04don't open up in the ways you think they should give them time it might be years and I think I've
07:10irritated some people out there because there's like they're probably like damn like she's hard as
07:14fucking rock she will not open up no because I've had too many life experiences that's shown me
07:21better than I could ever be told that I cannot trust easily and people can disappear on you for any
07:28reason at any time so yeah I do make it hard to get next to me and I will not lie so I will say
07:38be patient with people if they don't open up right away it might be years but just be there
07:45and so I want to again thank Angus's family for saying that quote because there were a lot of times
07:53in my life I was alone I had to pull from that only child realm and said hey Leisha we got to pull our
07:58own self up from the bootstraps I've had successes and nowadays people are calling me all kinds of nice
08:05names because of it I'm not a disciple I'm not a saint I'm not going around calling myself a chosen
08:10one to be honest with you I've had some really hard things happen in my life and I just had the
08:17determination the consistency and the discipline to say hey Leisha we're on our own I know that's not
08:24the message they want to preach they want to say oh you need people there are some of us lone wolf
08:29violence out here who had to figure it out on our own and so when I see folks like that it's just a
08:37reminder that yeah we are all kind of in this world together and I appreciate that reminder because
08:45sometimes I need it anyways at different periods of my life there's just times where I just wanted
08:52to be able to trust people or tell somebody a secret and a lot of times that secret was used to
08:59sad me in the back we're just gonna go with it because I cut this three times and that noise just
09:07kept me in the background so let's just go with it and hopefully they will hush at some point anyways
09:12there is just times where I wish the help that I wanted was there and the people that I could trust
09:20was there and it wasn't so it basically boiled down to me just taking matters into my own hands
09:26and taking control of my own destiny and so to finish off reminder I am not a mental health
09:35professional I am not an expert it's just I've lost so many friends and watched so many friends pass
09:41away I really just feel obligated to start speaking out more and I want to thank Angus's
09:49clout let me try that again I like to thank Angus clout's family for even saying that quote and
09:59at this point it's more of my calling to honor my friend's legacies by speaking out and keep spreading
10:11the word and rest in peace Angus clout and yeah I think that's all I want to say thank you for
10:22watching my video and I will talk to you out later peace
10:41you
10:42you
10:42you
10:42you
10:42you