Emotional Support Alligator

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a senior home that had a visit from an emotional support alligator and imagine how that situation would have played out.

Transcript

00:00i don't know if this is a great idea there's a guy in pennsylvania um who has an emotional

00:11support alligator yeah and he's taking it to senior homes that's not smart i don't think it

00:19is either when they bring golden retrievers and not alligators well that's a nice looking puppy

00:24he's got a hell of a bait on him

00:42what are you saying what the hell you did i'm telling you that ain't no puppy there

00:50are you mexican no i know no man are you sure

00:54i'm trying to build a wall to keep you out for the bayou

00:58the where the bayou down now

01:00are you guys hearing this guy

01:04i know you're gonna pat that alligator around there they pet him and it might make it feel better

01:09big old smile he brought in the most dangerous dog i've ever seen i don't know what the hell

01:15i can't hear him i think he's chinese i'm not chinese

01:21you sound chinese

01:24are you a spy

01:26this was the worst mistake i ever made in my life

01:29bringing that alligator down their mouth

01:31what

01:32forget it now

01:34forget it now give me my alligator back

01:37hordigator

01:38no that's my alligator give him back

01:40horda

01:41someone help

01:44dad dad i'm gonna unleash his jibs there and i'm gonna throw him at him

01:47something about his jibs

01:48dad all right give him a kiss

01:50give him a kiss

01:53oh he's a gay chinaman

01:54that ain't that

01:57he's a gay chinaman

01:59stuck in the country

02:01get back on my fan boat get the hell out of here with my goddamn animal down

02:05get back on your boat

02:06you

02:08you're an old racist

02:10you're an old racist mean

02:13what

02:15ah forget it now

02:17that's right

02:19don't worry i shook him out of here

02:21take my alligator away from these people

02:23get out of here with your filthy dog

02:25you get out of here with your filthy hate

02:27the poor the hate

02:29old hate

02:30oh my goodness

02:32what

02:32i hope you choke on a prune now

02:34wait oh there's prunes somewhere

02:37oh lunch time

02:38we got our prunes in

02:39not the most relaxing

02:42no

02:43thing you could bring in

02:44not at all

02:45uh this emotional support alligator is named wally

02:47he's four and a half feet long

02:48he's not a big guy

02:49he's so domesticated though

02:50apparently he acts just like a dog

02:52he likes lying on the bed

02:53he likes hanging out with uh this guy joe

02:56and he follows him around the house

02:58wally doesn't just give joe emotional support

03:01as i mentioned

03:01he's now taking him to senior centers so they can spend time playing with him

03:05and giving them some support too

03:07i think that would freak most seniors out

03:08really

03:09i don't care how small it is

03:10there's a guy around here

03:11he has something like 10,000 snakes

03:13and he has um

03:14he has an alligator

03:15and he makes youtube videos

03:17uh-huh

03:18and um

03:19one of the fish tank dudes that i

03:21follow

03:22he came to detroit

03:24to visit this guy

03:26check out his stuff

03:27and he has this giant

03:29alligator

03:30no tape around its mouth or anything

03:33and they

03:33hold it

03:35and it tries to get away

03:36and i'm like

03:36every time it tries to get away

03:38i'm like

03:38it gonna get you the hop

03:39and it gonna bite your feet

03:40right on your skull now

03:42but

03:43you know it doesn't

03:44but

03:45and he

03:45and he claims that

03:47uh

03:47it's like

03:48it's like a dog

03:50yeah

03:50it's like his puppy dog

03:52they're not

03:52i know

03:53no they're not

03:54and them around seniors

03:55god all those teeth

03:56yeah

03:56that's a recipe for disaster

03:58in my opinion

03:58gators and seniors

04:00yeah

04:00you don't want him

04:01paying bingo with you

04:02give me a kiss little doggy

04:04yeah that ain't no doggy

04:05no

04:06oh my god

04:07it's got my skull

04:08he got you right in the skull

04:10there you old ass

04:11hateful skull

04:11the gentleman's dog

04:13has got my skull

04:14he's so racist

04:15that is not an appropriate

04:17thing to do

04:18i can't understand

04:20a word he says

04:21yeah nobody help him

04:24let the alligator do

04:27what he's supposed to do

04:28uh

04:30gator gonna eat him

04:32you

04:34you

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