Raccoon Rehab

Beasley Digital

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a park in California that has been taken over by raccoons and when a news report suggests rehabilitating them, they imagine a rehab facility for the troubled animals.

Transcript

00:00in san francisco a group of raccoons have just taken over a park like a little game it's raccoon

00:10park now if you come into that park they will gather and they will just kind of try and force

00:15you out of there that's not cool uh here's a story from kpix tv take a listen sounds like

00:21the plot of a campy horror movie a pack of aggressive raccoons taking over a neighborhood

00:27but it's really happening in san francisco's golden gate park and these guys are not shy

00:34kpi x5's kit doe on what's making these animals so fearless kit so normally raccoons are nocturnal

00:42very skittish not the ones that we've heard about in san francisco and we only have ourselves to blame

00:48wendy wald says they've been here for years is it a little concerning that they're getting this

00:53close to you and your dogs um a little bit but they've no fear they just ignore each other

01:04a couple of blocks away sylvia ramirez says raccoons living in the redwood trees in her backyard

01:09actually come down during the day now and go under her deck something they've never done before

01:14sylvia was also recently at lake merced a few miles away when one just strolled right up to her on the

01:20trail well we have to coexist in the world with wildlife um we're the ones that are in their

01:25territory and this goes into my next question kid are any plans to sort of try to mitigate this

01:34problem by say gathering some of the raccoons up rehabilitating them and then putting them in another

01:38rehabilitating them taking them into raccoon rehab they're raccoons not homeless drug addicts come

01:45on these are wild animals this is because the raccoons are on hippie land yeah that's true

01:51just feed them man it's fine yeah they're coming out during the day which is really really weird yeah

01:55yeah they're like nocturnal so is that like a thing like a raccoon rehab i don't know maybe on the west

02:00coast it is we take the raccoons in and we teach them how to read and we teach them exactly what

02:08they need to do to come to the high school diploma yeah we get them back in high school and you know

02:14we put them on right path we can teach them skills like welding uh we can teach them all kinds of

02:19things that are applicable that way they can get a job these are some bad raccoons have been attacking

02:24people everybody's got past and that's the thing some people just need a second chance man and

02:30raccoons are no different you know they come in and we taught one to make little dresses wow is that

02:36raccoon smoking weed yeah he got into my weed okay i gotta take care of that actually that's not cool he's

02:43not fully rehabilitated yet he's still got problems some of these raccoons are addicts okay and that's

02:51that's a crazy thing some of them are addicted to bagels and some of them are addicted to weed like

02:55him he's really smoking that thing wow that's crazy we got really that's the fattest blunt i've

03:02ever seen how long how long does it normally take for a raccoon to go through rehab it varies you

03:08know it's a case-by-case basis okay and so like some raccoons it could be like one year some raccoons

03:13that guy the one smoking weed we've had him for eight years we've been trying to rehabilitate

03:18not working out then he just gets better at stealing my weed he's a lifer huh yeah they're

03:24sponsors that when they are on the outside well we let one of the raccoons like the cleaned up

03:28raccoons go and sponsor the other ones but that doesn't sometimes they just have sex you know

03:33you gotta keep an eye on that because then it just makes more raccoons you need to rehabilitate

03:38um chris oh hey chris how are you how you doing good man what's your story

03:43okay okay so i i had a raccoon in my kitchen eating out of my dog bag right okay and then

03:51and then i called the cops and they're like we can't do nothing on a sunday night

03:55i'm like what do i do sleep in a raccoon in my house so i bait him outside the house with a

04:07sandwich he comes back in and eats the sandwich on my drop ceiling in the basement i'm like okay

04:23drop ceiling in the basement i'm like oh my god you came back in the house yeah so he

04:28got him outside with the sandwich he grabs a plate sits down at the table does he have like a doggy

04:36door or something oh my god that is hilarious that's like i had more laughs in that one story

04:42than i've heard in a lot of stories sunday night man we don't do anything man yeah this is the police

04:46animal control wasn't on duty or something the police can't help you yeah maybe they're they don't

04:51they're not trained they don't deal with that that's possibly it yeah i don't know you're on

04:55your own yeah it's sunday it's the sabbath there's no police we don't have police today no police today

05:01stupid like that one time that i had to fight off a raccoon and the only weapon i could find was my

05:05pool noodle that's not a great one and i fought off what i believe now to be a rabid raccoon like i was

05:11like dueling with him pushing him back towards the fence because he was digging up our pool cover like

05:17he was trying to rip it to get to the water yeah and i'm like you little bastard so i went running

05:22out and i couldn't see anything and i grabbed a big pool noodle it was very floppy yeah but he was

05:28like it literally he was a couple inches away from me and he just would slowly like it wasn't

05:34terrifying him yeah he stood his ground it was a pool i think it was because it was a pool noodle

05:39yeah but it's a crazy guy who's six foot five with some sort of floppy weapon if he ran out with a

05:44pot and a pan and started clanking them together i bet you he would have ran off i bet he ran to

05:47his other raccoon buddies and was like humans have the dumbest weapons yeah some guy just started

05:52swinging one of those little foam noodles like he was like that's nothing i got claws yeah yeah amber

05:57was taping the whole thing she got video of she's inside like she wouldn't come outside but she's like

06:02you're insane leave the raccoon alone i'm like no he's gonna ruin our friggin pool cover it sounds like

06:09a video that would go straight to like ridiculousness but like you were saying dude it was probably

06:13rabid like because they won't like if it stands its ground like that it's out of its mind oh yeah

06:17he was he was definitely rabid that that's the little effort right there oh so he was scratching

06:23the pool cover trying to get through it and that's why i had to like go out yeah yeah swing your big

06:30noodle around yeah but he was uh he was a little bugger yeah that's funny

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