Hungry Hungry Hippo

Beasley Digital

On today's Peep Show Dave & Chuck learn the hard way why you shouldn't have a hippo as a pet.

Transcript

00:00this uh south african farmer had a pet hippo he described like his son sure until it just

00:10mauled him to death oh yeah they'll kill you yeah they're not the south african farmer was mauled

00:16to death by his pet hippo which he previously referred to as like a son to me there he is

00:23right there riding on his i love that picture of him on the hippo oh my god those were happier

00:28times that hippo's like i'm gonna figure out how to kill this yeah one of these days i'm gonna bite

00:36my huge teeth right through he's a real like hefty guy i'm sure that hippo's like get off of me this

00:44guy doesn't know hippos aren't for riding you know what though he lived an incredible life how many

00:50people can say they've ridden a hippo just him not many died doing what he loved yeah he lived an

00:58incredible life it was an incredible life he's riding him like like a bucking bronco like at his

01:04funeral service they should have that and the arms of the angels song playing different pictures of

01:09him riding a hippo steed 40 year old morris ells adopted the hippo whom he named humphrey the hippo

01:16when he found it as a calf and uh just earlier this year footage of him riding the 2 000 pound

01:22beast went viral we gotta watch the footage we gotta see the happiest times you can't find the

01:27original video i know it's so sad it's too bad anyway uh the south african uh said that humphrey

01:33had responded to his calls when he said humphrey yeah he's like i'll kill you yeah and uh he'd even

01:41brush humphrey's teeth for him that's odd that humphrey didn't do something right then right exactly

01:46brushing his teeth uh he said it's a little bit dangerous but i trust him with my heart

01:51that he won't harm anybody that's what he had said yeah he probably just got old enough to like

01:56whatever have kind of hippo testosterone running through him right they're aggressive yeah he said

02:02uh this is what he had said i can swim with him i go in the water he allows me to get on his back i

02:07ride him like a horse he swims next to me we're like father and son um they found him dead in a river

02:14he had been bitten several times by the hippo it's unclear how long he was in the water for you

02:22were really really simple if you think you can befriend a hippo yeah there's there's some simple

02:27stuff happening simple stuff he's a little simple like just look just look i took a bunch of those

02:37photos you guys would be like oh my god chuck what are you doing that's how he's gonna go the hippo

02:43does seem to just like be cool with him but all that will eventually go away

02:48special people will be eaten by their patio blows just a fact

03:18could you just imagine being that hippo for a minute and this guy won't leave you alone he's

03:32like on top of you and you just can't shake him

03:35he's like i'm gonna have to kill him

03:38hey mr hippo

03:40here he comes oh no oh my god

03:43oh my god

03:44no no no

03:45it's memorials again

03:46he thinks i'm

03:49he thinks we're friends

03:51he thinks we're friends

03:52i'm gonna ride you mr hippo

03:53no don't ride me please just let me go to the river

03:56i'm gonna ride you mr hippo

03:58oh you're on my you're heavy you're a heavy man

04:00slow down mr hippo

04:03i'm not your friend i understand you're simple

04:06i'm like your daddy

04:07i understand even as a hippo

04:09that you're a simple simple man

04:11and i'm trying to give you a

04:13don't brush my teeth when i open my mouth

04:16i don't like that

04:19i'm one of the most patient hippos in all of hippopotamus

04:22world

04:23i'm not your pet

04:34i am literally one of the most deadly killing machines on the planet

04:39hippo

04:40no

04:41i'm going to ride you

04:43all right

04:44hippo hippo hippo hippo hippo hippo

04:46i don't know what to do i'm at my wheelchair

04:48i'm free come on man

04:49humphrey you look so angry

04:51i don't know

04:54I don't know hippo

04:55i choose the simple man

04:59no

05:01no

05:05he's still alive

05:06i told you

05:08i told you a thousand times

05:10he told me

05:12okay

05:12oh you still

05:13there we go

05:14that one says thousand

05:15oh i ended up feeling worse for the hippo

05:18i know

05:19he too

05:20The hippo is real patient with him, as far as hippos go.

05:23I really think it's the most, you're right, he was the most patient hippo.

05:27He's like, I let him hit me in the face, I let him brush my teeth, I took him for a ride

05:31through the river.

05:32I swam and he rode me.

05:35That's what he did.

05:36I thought I was a water horse.

05:38Look at me on these hippos.

05:40Take a picture of me on these hippos, please.

05:44I let him take pictures.

05:45Take a picture of me on these hippos.

05:48I don't know how much more I could take.

05:50Look at us, we!

05:52He had said, quote, there's a relationship between me and Humphrey.

05:55That's what some people don't understand.

05:57No.

05:58They think you can only have a relationship with dogs, cats, and domestic animals, but I

06:02have a great relationship with the most dangerous animal in Africa.

06:04Humphrey's like, I'm just going to, I'm going to give it one more week.

06:09That's right.

06:10Water rides me again.

06:12I'm going to drown him in the river in two seconds because I have hippo strength.

06:17Chomp him, chomp him to bits.

06:19It's over for him if he tries to ride me one more time across the river.

06:23That's exactly what happened.

06:24And I think that's it.

06:25Hello, Humphrey!

06:27Oh, that's what you do today's the day!

06:29Come on, let's do our water rides!

06:33It's not a daily thing!

06:35Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

06:38Hippo!

06:38No!

06:39It's degrading when you ride me across the river.

06:42I put my floaties on!

06:43Please!

06:44I can't do it.

06:45I don't even have any other hippos to talk to about this.

06:48Yeah, there was no other hippos around.

06:50No.

06:50Well, because the other hippos would have been like, take care of it.

06:52Yeah, like, what are you doing?

06:54Watch, watch, watch what I do.

06:56What are you doing?

06:57I'm like, Lisa, as the other hippo.

06:59Yeah.

06:59What are you doing?

07:00You're a real judgy, real judgy other hippo.

07:02Yeah, just kill him.

07:04Just bite him in half.

07:05Just drown him in the river.

07:07I don't know.

07:07Take him in the river, bite him in half, and drown him.

07:12Hi, hippo.

07:14I just feel like the hippo was doing hippo stuff, and he just came running up and jumped

07:19on him.

07:19He's like, I don't know what I'll do today.

07:21I'll probably eat something crazy.

07:22Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

07:23I want a hippo!

07:26Let's go for a sweep!

07:27I know, I want a, I'm gonna try and buck you off.

07:30No, don't hold on.

07:32Hold on.

07:33Yep.

07:34Need to talk to some other hippos about this.

07:36He would have been so embarrassed if there was other hippos around.

07:39Oh, my lord.

07:39He's like, if another hippo shows up while he tries to water ride me across the river.

07:43Maybe that's what happened.

07:44Yeah, that's it.

07:45Oh, my God, that's it.

07:45I gotta kill him.

07:46Yeah.

07:46He's like, this is embarrassing.

07:48He's a sweet, simple man.

07:50He loved a hippo ride, but.

07:52He loved a good hippo ride in the river.

07:53There's a hefty price to pay when you, when you, when you, when you, your vices riding hippos.

07:58There was only one way for it to end.

08:00Yeah, that's it.

08:01And it ended the exact way it was always gonna end.

08:04Right.

08:04Drowned in a river, smashed half to death by a hippo.

08:07Yes.

08:08Yeah.

08:08Definitely ended the way you think.

08:09Yeah.

08:10Yeah.

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