Señor Dave's Stun Cane

Beasley Digital

After talking about an airline passenger busted by the TSA with a cane that doubled as a stun gun, the show wondered what life would be like on a beach resort if Señor Dave brought a stun cane on vacation.

Transcript

00:00TSA officers in Hawaii

00:10Seized a stun cane

00:12Okay, so is this like a

00:14Is this like a pimp cane that has a stun

00:17Thing on the end? Yeah, it's crazy

00:18This is awesome

00:19I know I want one

00:21I want to get one

00:22Oh, I think it would be amazing

00:25Don't give Dave one

00:27No, I mean, because he put it on his own foot

00:29And stun himself

00:30There's certain places that I travel

00:33That I think I may need

00:35A million volt cane

00:37It's not, listen, it's not a bad weapon

00:39I am so sorry, I see your Dave

00:41These sheets

00:45Are not folded correctly

00:47See your Dave, I am sorry

00:49Get over here

00:50Oh no, please, see your Dave, my heart is going to stop

00:52Oh, see your Dave

00:54See your Dave

00:56I am so sorry

00:57Wait

00:58Fold my towel like a goose

01:00You gotta dust each of your Dave

01:02Like a goose

01:04I do love some good towel, aren't you?

01:06Yeah

01:06I have never done this before

01:09If you don't make the goddamn towel look like a goose

01:12I don't think it is impossible

01:14Listen, I want a goose

01:15My kids want two elephants

01:18Oh, he never said we were good at a towel, aren't you?

01:24And my wife wants a giraffe

01:27So I'm going to need an extra towel

01:28Okay, here's Dave

01:29For the next

01:30I believe this will be a goose

01:31Have you never in your whole entire life ever seen a goose?

01:36I have not

01:36I have never seen a goose

01:39It is the best I've

01:40Come here, a little closer

01:40A little bit closer

01:41Okay

01:41Oh, see your Dave

01:43I am sorry

01:44Oh yeah, there we go

01:45I am so sorry

01:46Oh

01:47Oh, fire

01:48Oh

01:49You might feel my fingers

01:53Oh

01:54Shut up

01:55Shut your goddamn mouth

01:57I cannot finish the elephant now

01:59Doesn't look anything like an elephant either

02:02Let me show you how it's

02:04I'm going to

02:04For one time

02:05I'm going to show you how it's done

02:08It's a dark day

02:11It's a cold dark day today

02:14Dangerous places that Dave travels to

02:18You better get us into Dave's towel art right

02:21Or he will shock the bejesus right out of here

02:23Amber

02:24This is the scariest six star resort I've ever seen

02:29I can't believe how terrifying it is out there

02:36You want to go and try and get that steak dinner?

02:41Let's go

02:43I don't know

02:44Here, I'll bring my cane

02:46No, get away from me

02:47You little

02:48Sister Dave

02:48I was trying to bring you a mimosa

02:50Identify yourself

02:54Identify yourself a little better next time

02:56It is Javier, do you know this?

02:59You said it was your favorite

03:01Oh, that wasn't for no reason

03:04That's just, I'm clumsy

03:06It went off

03:06Oh, hell

03:12This is the most

03:13Damn terrifying six star resort

03:16I got around here, yuckas

03:19Here's the fruits in your name

03:24Oh, wow

03:26I'm sorry, I didn't even like the peaches

03:29I said hold the peaches

03:30I did not hold any peaches

03:33You remember it now, don't you?

03:35I

03:35You will never forget

03:36I can't breathe

03:38The hair on my body is gone

03:41That's what happens

03:43This is one

03:44This is a one billion volt

03:47One billion

03:49One billion volt cane

03:51We went up

03:52Sister Dave, I can no longer have seen

03:55Shut up

03:56Excuses, man

04:00I hate excuses

04:00That's all I get from you guys

04:03I feel my tongue

04:04I'm catching on fire

04:05That's a side effect

04:06That's what a billion volts will do

04:10Someone says it will paralyze you

04:12For five to ten minutes

04:13Oh my god

04:14That's right

04:15I will take you down

04:16Javier

04:17Yeah

04:19I cannot make the towel art this way

04:22One of your little friends

04:25Better get up here and quick

04:27Because I'm going to keep shocking you

04:28Please

04:29Somebody else

04:31Make a Sister Dave

04:32Goddamn towels

04:33And never bring him a peaches

04:34Never bring a peaches

04:37Just try and sit still

04:40It's at four o'clock in the morning

04:41And he needs his coffee

04:43I am up early

04:45Yeah

04:45You're right

04:46Yeah

04:46I said

04:48Two creams

04:51And one sugar

04:52Oh, Sister Dave

04:53I know this

04:55I don't know why

04:56Amber

04:57It's impossible to get good help

04:59It is

05:01I don't care

05:02I'm waiting until you see my review of this place

05:04I'm so sorry

05:06It's going to be scathing

05:07Scathing

05:09Shoot

05:11I give your chasing a five of Yelper stars

05:14You better

05:16You better

05:17I'm sick of this place

05:18Poor Javier

05:19Yeah, you went through it

05:21And you did

05:22That poor guy

05:22I am going through it

05:24You better

05:25You better

05:26You better

05:27To horrify

05:28You better

05:29And you'll be

05:29You better

05:30Or

05:30You

05:31You better

05:33You better

05:34Try

05:34You better

05:35And you better

05:36If you haven't

05:36Alive

05:36That poor guy

05:37I definitely

05:38You better

05:38I78

05:38пой

05:38Wikipedia

05:39In

05:40And you better

05:40You better

05:41You better

05:42You better

05:43having fun work

05:44Just

05:44愚 be

05:45I naj

05:46I

05:46Now

05:47I

Category

Transcript

Recommended