Guardians of the globe trials Season 1 Episode 3

Action Vault

Transcript

00:00Thank you all for coming here today.

00:03The Guardians of the Globe were more than a group of heroes.

00:07They were icons.

00:09Those of you who pass our trials will be among the elite.

00:16The best of the best.

00:30Needless to say, not all of you will be up to the challenge.

00:36Ouch. What's up with her?

00:38No idea.

00:40Those of you who are up to the challenge will succeed not just by the uniqueness of your abilities,

00:46but by the uniqueness of your tactics,

00:51your adaptability,

00:53the agility of your minds.

00:58The agility of your minds.

01:01Ties burn the pavement.

01:02People want to know it makes sense.

01:04Still here.

01:05Still in your ear with a stop so odd.

01:07You'll see where all the sun rays went.

01:09Legs, arms, and head.

01:10All being moved in a frenzy.

01:11To blend in.

01:12The right path.

01:13Meaning potential.

01:14The world will be rockin' over pearls.

01:16And they catch a mint toy.

01:17Ready?

01:18Set.

01:19Set.

01:20Jump.

01:21Set.

01:22Set.

01:23And, perhaps most importantly...

01:26The strength of your character, and spirit.

01:43That is what truly makes a hero.

01:47It is my pleasure to introduce the new guardians of the globe.

01:53Black Samson, Shrinking Ray, Duplicate, Monster Girl.

02:03Aww, look at her, she's adorable.

02:05But isn't there like an age requirement for this ride?

02:08Am I wrong?

02:09This seems weird, right?

02:13Rex.

02:14I don't know, you're here.

02:15Isn't there a dick size requirement?

02:17I'm sorry.

02:18For what, your tiny dick?

02:20I mean, the way you've been strutting around here, you must be compensating for something.

02:29Somebody ought to teach you some motherfucking what's up.

02:41Guess you missed my tryout.

02:45Still think I'm adorable.

02:51Oh, you look a little bitch.

03:00Oh, now that's adorable.

03:04I'm gonna blast that smile off your stupid green face.

03:09Please stop, this is hardly constructive.

03:12Uh, is this okay?

03:18He asked for it.

03:27Okay, enough.

03:29Get lost, boy scout.

03:31I said enough!

03:33Invincible hit that little girl.

03:40Oh, shit.

03:42Uh, look, I'm so sorry.

03:46Nah, my bad.

03:47The kid thing sets me off every time, and then it's like, rawr, beast mode.

03:53Sorry about the dick joke.

03:55I'm sure your junk is awesome.

03:58It's fine.

03:59I'm good.

03:59You're good.

04:00You can punch hard.

04:04Didn't need your help, asshole.

04:05Oh, Christ.

04:09Murr, murr.

04:11As I was saying, welcome to the Guardians of the Globe, Monster Girl.

04:16Gonna shit, bud.

04:18Along with Rexplode.

04:19Once he's recovered.

04:21And our final member, Adam Eve.

04:23Thank you all for coming today.

04:28We'll be making a public announcement shortly.

04:31Robot!

04:33No need to thank me.

04:34I obviously needed to remain impartial.

04:37But I'm still delighted so many members of the teen team made the cut.

04:41I can't be on the same team as Rex and Kate.

04:45What?

04:45Why?

04:46Hey, wait!

04:48Rex, what did you do?

04:49Uh, thanks for the help, robot.

04:52Can't wait to be on your team.

04:56As soon as the forensic investigation has concluded,

04:59we'll be moving into the Guardians' headquarters.

05:01Until then, we'll be training here.

05:03Breakfast is at 6 a.m., then close-in combat exercises until lunch.

05:08Where is Kate Prime?

05:10Had a thing.

05:11I can fill her in.

05:12Okay, just to make it clear,

05:15there is no universe in which I wake up at 6 a.m.

05:18and the world isn't on fire.

05:21Come on, robot.

05:22We don't need this boot camp bullshit.

05:24It's us.

05:25We're not on the teen team any longer, Rex.

05:28Exactly.

05:28I'm sure you've had a lot of experience wrangling teenagers,

05:32but I was with the Guardians from day one.

05:33Wow!

05:34Thanks, Dad.

05:35Maybe if you didn't lose your powers,

05:37you might have been there to help the Guardians on their last day.

05:40I don't know you yet.

05:42So I'm gonna assume that was a joke

05:43and I don't need to beat your ass

05:45until all you wanna do is call me Dad again.

05:48I don't know you either,

05:53but we need a leader we can look in the eye,

05:55not a bunch of ones and zeros.

05:57No offense.

05:58That's actually super offensive.

06:00So, wait, you think you should be in charge?

06:03I am the most experienced.

06:04Yeah, at losing your powers.

06:07Didn't I crack that joke already?

06:08Why are we even putting up with this guy?

06:11He wears a suit.

06:13It takes batteries.

06:14Let's just get Eve back in here.

06:16I'm new to this whole team thing,

06:18but I thought it involved teamwork.

06:20As did I.

06:21Call me when you figure it out.

06:23I'll be in the gym.

06:25Me too.

06:27I'll go supervise.

06:29No, you won't.

06:30I can do whatever I like.

06:34Good first day, robot.

06:37Um, I can't do three combat exercises a day.

06:42I'm on a rather tight timetable

06:44to get this team operational.

06:46Whenever I transform, I get younger.

06:49It's part of the curse that gives me my powers.

06:52I don't look it, but I'm 24 years old.

06:55I used to go by Monster Woman,

06:57but it got too hard to explain,

06:59so if you don't want to start changing my diapers,

07:03three exercises a day are too much for me.

07:05I didn't.

07:06Of course.

07:07My apologies.

07:08It must be difficult.

07:10Try having a normal relationship looking like this.

07:13The guys who are interested are either going through puberty

07:16or popping up on sex offender registries.

07:18I understand what it's like

07:19for the world to look at you and see one thing,

07:23never knowing the truth of what's inside.

07:25How can you understand?

07:27You're a robot.

07:33Pathetic.

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