Dad Steals Show At Jain Gay Wedding

Brut India

"It is not a defect. It is not to be cured." At his gay son's wedding, the father raised this memorable toast.

Transcript

00:00I was a very homophobic person, there is no question about it.

00:03So I thought there is no big deal, I'll fix him, I'll find the best treatment center in the country,

00:08I'll find the cure for it and I'll handle it.

00:30This is my first gay wedding, by the way, and for many of you this might be your first gay wedding to attend.

00:45Back in 1997, I was one of the luckiest fathers around.

00:50My son was valedictorian, spelling bee champion, UT Plant II, playing the great job as a Romeo

00:57and he actually fooled me because he actually did a good job as a Romeo and Juliet and he had no lafda.

01:03I mean, everybody else had a girlfriend here and a girlfriend there and this and that

01:07and I said, Pragya is such a pure guy, man, I am so lucky, right?

01:13And he was doing everything, he was passionate about people, he was passionate about different people.

01:18I said, God is really smiling on me to give a wonderful child like this.

01:23He used to perform Bharat Natyam, he used to even perform at different days event as a MC, as a joker or whatever.

01:29That time there was not much of a competition.

01:32But the thing is, that was the best of the time and suddenly it turned into the worst of the time.

01:39On 27th March at 4.25pm on that Friday night, Pragya did a very small speech.

01:47Dad and mom, I am gay. I have known it since I was 10 years old.

01:55I thought I was confused but I am beginning to realize that I am gay.

02:00I thought I will hide my being gay until you die so you won't be embarrassed.

02:08I tried to commit suicide while I was in the high school but I did not succeed, thank God for that.

02:14Pragya is very wimpy, I don't think he could do that.

02:16But he tried.

02:18But last week I was discussing in the class and there was another Indian girl and I blurted out, I am gay.

02:25So I knew the news will come to you sooner or later, therefore I am telling you I am gay.

02:30The whole thing was like three minute speech.

02:34From the best of the time, our life went to the worst of the time.

02:39And I was a very homophobic person, there is no question about it.

02:43So I thought there is no big deal, I will fix him, I will find the best treatment center in the country.

02:48I will find the cure for it and I will handle it.

02:52Monday morning I was the first person to enter the medical library

02:56and I pulled out all the cumulus medicus which means all the articles, they are all listed in one book

03:02for last five years for G and H and all that and I started looking up the article.

03:08And then I suddenly realized in 30 minutes that American Psychological Association back in 1973

03:16had declared that gay people is not a disease, it is not a defect, it is not to be cured,

03:24it is not contagious and if you accept somebody is gay, your child is not likely to be more gay than otherwise.

03:32I asked a simple question, do I love my son any less at 431 than I loved him at 424?

03:45And a long pause and the answer was no, I still love him the same.

03:58So then I wrote a letter and when I wrote a letter this is what I did,

04:02I said who will be the 50 people who have played the important role in Parag's life,

04:08some of them were very conservative and I knew that they will freak out when they heard it,

04:12so I kind of thought okay maybe 50% of the people would not talk to me

04:18and my life would really be isolated, what to do?

04:21Again few minutes later the answer came very simple, I said Vijay,

04:26if there are 50% of the people who don't want to talk to you,

04:29maybe they don't need to be in your life, why don't you stick with the other 50% who will be with you.

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