This is the life of Halsey

Brut America

"Halsey is the best version of myself. Tall and confident, coordinated, sexy, brave. And that's exactly why I invented her."  She's channeled her struggles with bipolar disorder into a chart-topping music career.  This is the life of Halsey.

Transcript

00:00But before I get to be Halsey, and before I get to be the best version of myself,

00:04I have to be the absolute worst version of myself.

00:10And that version of myself is a 24-year-old girl from New Jersey named Ashley Frangipane.

00:30I bet everybody watching back home right now is on the couch like,

00:38Ashley's on the TV! You remember Ashley, the singer?

00:42Nice girl! Not for my son, but good for her.

00:45I started writing music when I was 15 years old,

00:59and part of that reason is because of my amazing mother.

01:03I begged her and begged her and begged her to buy me a violin,

01:07because I promised I was going to play, and my dad was like,

01:10she's not going to play. She's going to pick it up for like five minutes,

01:15and then it's going to be over. We really can't afford it, because we were super poor.

01:20And my mom championed for me, and she got me that violin.

01:25And I got that violin, and then I learned viola, and then I learned cello,

01:28and then I learned piano, and then I learned guitar.

01:40Words come from her mind, to her hands, to the paper,

01:55and she reads them back to herself, and she goes,

01:58God, is that really what I think of me?

02:11As Halsey, I've accepted a fair amount of awards,

02:16and when I do, I get to come up to the podium and be exactly what Halsey is,

02:28the best version of myself, tall and confident, coordinated, sexy, brave,

02:35and that's exactly why I invented her.

02:40♪

03:08My whole life, my mother had always told me,

03:10women in our family just have really bad periods.

03:13It was just something she thought she was kind of cursed to deal with,

03:16and that I was cursed to deal with, and that was just a part of my life.

03:20♪

03:32Brutally honest, outspoken, and fearless.

03:36Goes with their gut, never favors appearance,

03:40because who has time for vanity with opponents to extinguish?

03:44And don't you think that hint of silver hairline is distinguished?

03:49In men, all these qualities, they make you a genius,

03:52but if you're a woman, you're an inconvenience.

03:55You were not put on this earth to make everybody else's life easier,

03:58so please, be inconvenient.

04:01♪

04:22I've been a part of fandoms, and I have seen people,

04:26I have seen them be motivated and passionate and determined about something

04:31in a time where it is so necessary to have feeling and to have empathy.

04:36♪

04:49He's got a case of matchbox cars,

04:51and he says that he'll teach me to play the guitar if I just keep quiet.

04:56And the stairwell beside apartment 1245 will haunt me in my sleep

05:00for as long as I am alive,

05:02and I'm too young to know why it aches in my thighs,

05:05but I must lie, I must lie.

05:08♪

05:12I even went on stage that night in Chicago when I was having a miscarriage.

05:17I mean, I pied the piper, I put on a diaper,

05:20and sang out my spleen to a room full of teens,

05:22what do you mean this happened to me?

05:25♪

05:49♪

06:18♪

06:21The Halsey that I get to be on paper and in songs and on the radio,

06:24she's cool, I like her.

06:26But underneath all that is still just me,

06:29self-critical and vulnerable and terrified

06:33and so, so, so overwhelmingly thankful for this.

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