Have gender reveal parties gone too far?

Brut America

They've ended in injuries, a wildfire and even death.   The woman who started the gender reveal party admits she wants the trend to end.

Transcript

00:00I don't ever want to shame anybody for having a party.

00:02I should feel the worst.

00:04Hello, I started this.

00:06If there's anybody who can say,

00:08hey, they're not cool anymore, it's me.

00:30The parties have really evolved into something that I never foresaw happening.

00:39I don't think anybody could have.

00:40They've really become dangerous.

00:42They've started to involve explosives, alligators,

00:47huge spectacles for people to unveil if their baby is a boy or a girl.

00:53So I had a blog since the early 2000s.

01:00By 2008, I had quite a following on my blog.

01:03So when I had my first, they call them gender reveal parties now,

01:07but that's not what I called it.

01:09When I had my first party with the cake, with the icing and the pink

01:13saying that we were having a girl, I did that for my own benefit.

01:16And I had about 10 people at my party.

01:19I put the pictures on my blog afterwards.

01:21And the story was actually picked up by a magazine called The Bump.

01:24That magazine wound up being the magazine that was distributed for free

01:28to the OBGYN and midwives offices all throughout the Midwestern United States.

01:32So back in 2008, nobody scrolled their smartphones

01:36when they were waiting for their doctor's appointments.

01:38They picked up the magazine, they saw my party,

01:41and the idea just really spread from there.

01:51So there are problems with pyrotechnics and people taking it out of hand,

02:10but there are also social implications which affect every single party.

02:14And that is the erasure of transgender and non-binary people,

02:18which is a conversation we were not happening, was not happening in 2008.

02:22It just never crossed my mind because I'm privileged in that way.

02:28I was born a girl. I'm a woman.

02:30I've honestly never had to doubt my gender or my sexuality in my entire life.

02:34And so that's why it didn't occur to me.

02:37I thought you have a baby.

02:38It's a boy or a girl, as a lot of people still do think.

02:40And there's nothing wrong with holding a belief like that.

02:45As long as you're examining your beliefs

02:47and understanding that there are transgender and non-binary people,

02:50we need to recognize their existence.

03:01As I started to get into the 2000 teens, 2013 or so,

03:06I actually have all three daughters.

03:08So I was raising my daughters and I started to have a problem

03:10with one of my daughters in particular.

03:13She wouldn't play with any toys unless they were pink.

03:16And she just she held this belief as a two-year-old

03:19that if it wasn't pink, it wasn't for her.

03:23And it kind of opened my eyes to something.

03:25I was like, well, it's not that boys have the default,

03:29all the colors and the only thing that the girl can have is pink.

03:32But somehow that message gets driven home.

03:35I believe it starts with the gender reveal party when it's like,

03:37oh, pink is for the girl.

03:39And if you're not pink, you're not a girl

03:41or there's something wrong with you to stay in that box.

03:44And that really is limiting for girls.

03:48One of my daughters wanted to, you know,

03:50get the short haircut and she wanted to wear suits and tuxedos.

03:54And she's the absolutely most adorable thing you've ever seen.

03:57She absolutely rocks her little style and I support her in every way.

04:00But, you know, I started to think,

04:03wow, those gender reveal parties are just so inaccurate

04:06and they just are really harmful.

04:09I think the vast majority of people

04:10who are having these so-called gender reveal parties

04:13are doing them in complete innocence.

04:15But we still have to examine that there is this very strict binary

04:21that's being reinforced with the gender reveal parties.

04:29Absolutely have a cake.

04:30If you want to have a cake, have a cake.

04:33Have a cake on a Tuesday.

04:34Pop open a bottle of champagne for no reason at all.

04:36There's nothing wrong with celebrating

04:38all the moments in our life, big, small, no matter what it is.

04:41If you're having a baby and you're excited,

04:43you should absolutely celebrate that.

04:45I think the focus should just be off of the body parts.

04:48So maybe not have a cake about a penis.

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