Alamin ang mga karaniwang pattern at palatandaan ng "quiet quitting"

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Transcript

00:00Let's talk about love again.

00:02Are you losing interest in each other?

00:04That's why what you're giving is the bare minimum.

00:07Are you on the stage where you're slowly getting emotionally disengaged?

00:12Or is it the same for you?

00:14Maybe it's a quiet quitting.

00:16Emotionally disengaged.

00:18It's getting cold in Tagalog.

00:20Quiet quitting is not only related to work, but it can also happen in a relationship.

00:26And to explain to us why we're slowly losing our enthusiasm in a relationship,

00:33we have live with us the heartbreak coach, Coach Jay Pascual.

00:38Good morning.

00:39Hi, Jay. Good evening.

00:40Thank you so much for having me here.

00:42Alright, explain to us what is this quiet quitting.

00:46Basically, quiet quitting is when a partner is slowly disengaging emotionally.

00:54But it doesn't mean that they're breaking up.

00:57It's like they're staying in a relationship, but their affection, effort, and presence are slowly disappearing.

01:06Does it include the feeling of losing the intimacy?

01:11That's normal, but it's also a part of quiet quitting.

01:15Because there are a lot of factors, Audrey and Diane.

01:18So, it's better to deep dive.

01:21Okay.

01:22You said it's a factor, right?

01:24It's not a factor because they said that when it gets cold in a relationship,

01:28maybe someone is trying to warm it up.

01:30That's not the reason.

01:31Is it possible, Coach Jay?

01:32It's possible that someone is trying to make others happy.

01:35Sometimes, there are people in a relationship who are happier when their partner is gone.

01:41Okay.

01:42So, when there's a time when they're looking for attention,

01:45that's when they feel happiness.

01:49You said that there are a lot of factors.

01:51So, we touched on some of them.

01:52What are those factors?

01:53Let's go through them one by one.

01:54In silent quitting, it's possible that the person is tired.

01:58Like, if it's repeated,

02:00the person will feel that they're not appreciated.

02:04Or let's say, there are conflicts, like cheating.

02:08Okay.

02:09So, the person is tired.

02:11Like, you know, it's like they're fed up.

02:13If it's repeated,

02:15if the issue is not resolved,

02:21you'll feel that you're tired.

02:24Or if you're given a second or third chance,

02:26it's still repeated.

02:27Yes, second or third chance.

02:28Okay.

02:29So, they feel tired in a relationship.

02:32It's like a burnout.

02:33Okay.

02:34Okay.

02:35In this kind of situation,

02:37is there a pattern that you can see that you're going to break up?

02:42Actually, yes.

02:43It's easy for you to get it.

02:45Or the pattern is,

02:46when the person treats you differently.

02:49Like, the effort,

02:50the effort,

02:51the communication,

02:53the affection.

02:54Like, in the past,

02:56there are small gestures,

02:58like the morning texts,

03:00or I love you.

03:01Then, suddenly,

03:02you'll notice that it's different.

03:04You'll feel it.

03:05It's like we're not the same as before.

03:06You're not on social media anymore.

03:08Alright.

03:09But I always believe that love is a choice.

03:11Yes, I agree.

03:12If you have a cold like this,

03:14but you still choose your partner,

03:16you can still solve this.

03:18What else can you do if you really want to be with that person?

03:23I agree with that.

03:24Like, as much as possible,

03:26fix it.

03:27Fix it.

03:28So, through communication,

03:29open and honest communication is important.

03:32So, at least, you're aware of each other,

03:34what you can resolve.

03:36Right?

03:37Because it's hard.

03:38You can't resolve anything

03:39if you're not aware of the issue

03:41or problem that you're going through.

03:43So, it's better to be honest

03:45and to communicate.

03:47Talk to each other.

03:48But, Coach J,

03:49relationships are different.

03:51What's hard here is,

03:52for example, you already have a child,

03:54or you're already married.

03:56So, what happens in the cases that you encountered here

03:59when you have a cold like this,

04:01but their commitment is already deep?

04:03Based on my experience,

04:06or from my acquaintances,

04:08the problem is,

04:09the child is using it

04:11as an excuse to stay in a relationship.

04:14But, I believe that

04:16it's better if the children are not traumatized.

04:21Right?

04:22Would a child want to stay in a toxic family?

04:27Right?

04:28For me,

04:30that's how I see it.

04:32It becomes an excuse.

04:34But, of course,

04:35we can't do anything about their lives.

04:38They have their own choices.

04:40How about financial dependency?

04:45For me,

04:46I can just help.

04:48Even if you're separated?

04:50Yes.

04:51You're giving your responsibility to your child.

04:54That's okay.

04:55But, it still depends on the conversation.

04:57Okay.

04:58Coach,

04:59a lot of gents and millennials

05:01are experiencing this quiet quitting mindset.

05:04Do you agree?

05:05Yes.

05:06As a millennial,

05:08I will choose my mental health

05:11and peace of mind.

05:13But, some are not capable of being open.

05:17They will choose to be quiet

05:21instead of being open

05:23about what they feel about their partner

05:25when they're in a silent quitting.

05:28So, mental health.

05:30Like now,

05:31we're in the digital era.

05:33Mental health is the priority of gents and millennials.

05:38Lastly, Coach Jay,

05:40is the generation also a factor?

05:42I know that the first generation

05:44has a longer patience with their partner.

05:47Even if they're going through a difficult time in their relationship,

05:52they're still staying.

05:54Unlike millennials or gents,

05:57who only have a small problem.

05:59They see a negative or red flag.

06:01That's why they're quitting.

06:02It's getting cold.

06:03Yes.

06:04We call it generational trauma.

06:06Sometimes, it gets worse.

06:09Based on research,

06:12when you grow up in a family

06:15that's not expressive,

06:17it can be a factor.

06:19But for me,

06:21if you're going to choose yourself

06:26or your self-worth,

06:27you should choose to be happy

06:30even if you're alone.

06:31Don't stay in a toxic relationship.

06:34Coach Jay,

06:35do you have a TikTok account?

06:37There's a lot of content about love.

06:39Please stay here.

06:40Yes.

06:41Please follow me on TikTok.

06:43PaskwalJay underscore on FB.

06:45Just search it.

06:47You'll see more about love

06:50or whatever advice you can get from me.

06:55Thanks, Coach Jay.

06:56I think I shared a lot of information with you.

06:59Heartbreak coach,

07:00Jay Paskwal.

07:01Heartbreak coach,

07:02but not a heartbreak.

07:03Yes, of course.

07:05Alright, thanks, Coach Jay.

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