- 10/05/2025
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TVTranscript
00:00Oh, man, we're gonna have some pure gangster parties in here.
00:04Oh, yeah.
00:05Warm this house up good.
00:07Leave Oliver and move in with me.
00:10What?
00:11I'll give you 50 grand for the wedding certificate and a quickie divorce.
00:16Make it 150.
00:18What do you say?
00:21Yes.
00:23I love you, Luce.
00:25Marry me again.
00:30Look, after all the shit we've been through, it'll be like a fresh start.
00:46A new beginning.
00:48We've got to build up the trust between us again first.
00:52I'm taking Angelica to my mum's for a while.
00:55You're not running out on me.
00:57I need a break.
00:58Look, we'll have a holiday.
01:00After training's finished.
01:02A second honeymoon.
01:03Don't hustle me, Bruno.
01:09Why don't I drive you over there now, pick up your stuff?
01:12Right.
01:13Hang on a minute.
01:14We've got to tread very carefully here.
01:15I mean, this could set Oliver's recovery right back.
01:18Well, you moving in with me, well, it could give him the kick up the arse that he needs.
01:22Yeah, and it could totally finish your relationship with him.
01:25I really don't give a toss.
01:26Oh, look.
01:29I'll tell him.
01:31No.
01:33God, no, I'll do it.
01:35Good.
01:36That's settled then.
01:36What are you looking at?
01:49How come she's gone swanning off?
01:51She's only just got here.
01:53From now on, she keeps whatever time she wants.
01:55Just agree to be my girl.
01:57Get on the dog, will you?
01:59Book is a room at the Sanderson's.
02:01Tell them I want the room filled with red roses.
02:04About ten dozen should do it.
02:06Let's see how you get on with these puzzles, Angelica.
02:23And the procedure is exactly as we discussed.
02:29It's completely safe.
02:31Absolutely painless.
02:32Totally undetectable.
02:34Obviously, I'll have to give Angelica a sedative to avoid...
02:37awkwardness down the line.
02:40Of course.
02:42We should be back to Norman in a couple of hours, yeah?
02:44Won't remember a thing.
02:46Good.
02:51I appreciate your discretion.
02:53As agreed, it's all there.
02:59Daddy's got a sort of surprise, sweetheart.
03:01So you'd be a good girl for the nice Dr David, eh?
03:11Right.
03:12If you'd like to get all comfy on the sofa for me, young lady.
03:16I'd like you to swallow this magic drink.
03:21Will it make me very small?
03:23It'll make you very...
03:26sleepy.
03:27Wow.
03:48You look amazing.
03:49I'd never come off a market.
03:51Your dad's been very generous.
03:53That's sodding time.
03:53Oh, nice one, Mum.
04:00Oh, they're beautiful.
04:03I thought I'd stay for a bit.
04:05Treat my kids.
04:06See you get settled.
04:08Oh, don't go back to Spain, Mum.
04:09Stay here.
04:11What for?
04:13I mean, Dad's bailed me a few quid, all right, but...
04:15it won't last long in London.
04:16Well, you could stay with us, couldn't she, Rhys?
04:22No.
04:23That crampy style good and proper, that would.
04:26Well, at least come over and see the flat.
04:27Today.
04:28Come for lunch.
04:29Listen to Jamie Oliver.
04:30Shut it, you.
04:32Go on, Mum.
04:33Why not?
04:35My little girl cooking for me in her own kitchen, eh?
04:38I'll bring the champagne.
04:40Yeah.
04:42Great idea.
04:50Oh, hey, Miss Beaver.
04:51Did you get the sack?
04:52Not quite.
04:54Look, these two jerks have set up an exclusive club.
04:58God, it's the sort of place my dad would go trawling for totty.
05:01Ollie, about your dad.
05:04Not had his hand up your skirt, has he?
05:05Cos I did...
05:06He wants me to move in with him.
05:07What?
05:13I'm sorry, Ollie.
05:16I said yes.
05:19Oh, my God, I think I'm going to puke!
05:26The thought of him slobbering all over you,
05:28his saggy arse going off...
05:29Stop it!
05:32Please try and understand.
05:35I'm doing it for us.
05:37Bollocks.
05:38How do you work that out?
05:40The closer I get to him, the more generous he is.
05:45I'm trying to build us a future here.
05:48I can't rely on you to look after us.
05:50Yes, you can.
05:52I've been clean for days now.
05:54I'm going to stay clean.
05:55I can't take that risk.
05:57I had to say yes to your dad.
06:01I was afraid he'd ditch me if I said no.
06:04Then we'd lose everything.
06:05I'll look after you.
06:06I'll prove to you I can do it.
06:08Just give me a chance.
06:09You've had a hundred chances.
06:11I'm blowing the lot.
06:14Nick.
06:16Don't do this.
06:19I need you.
06:20I'm sorry, Ollie.
06:23It's too late.
06:26Wait here, Mr Milligan.
06:27There won't be long.
06:45All done.
06:46You all right, darling?
06:55So, my little baby's a clever girl then, eh?
06:58Above average.
07:00An IQ test, though.
07:02Why didn't you tell me?
07:04In case it turned out not normal.
07:06You know, after the drug scare.
07:09We are partners.
07:10You should have told me.
07:11Well, I'm sorry.
07:24Yep.
07:25I need you to come over.
07:41I want to talk to you about something.
07:54See my car keys?
07:55How many times have I told you?
07:56Hang them up.
07:58All table.
07:59Thanks.
07:59Right.
08:00I'm off to check out the new flat.
08:04Don't go.
08:06They're expecting us now.
08:08It won't be for long.
08:09OK.
08:10If that's what you really want.
08:12Just promise me you'll think about what I said.
08:14About the vows.
08:16I promise.
08:17It's just something I really want to do.
08:19Soon.
08:22Anyway.
08:22We'll talk about when I get back, yeah?
08:37Oliver, your dad's busy.
08:38Fuck that.
08:41Something wrong, son.
08:44You bet, you devious old prick.
08:46Gives you a hard-on, does it?
08:47Stealing my girlfriend.
08:49She's a woman.
08:51Not your car.
08:52Not your wallet.
08:54See, it's funny you should mention the wallet.
08:56Because if you think she would shag you for fun,
08:59you must be out of your rotten, shriveled-up mind.
09:01I have waited years to do that.
09:11I wish I'd had all this when you was little.
09:20Dishwasher and everything.
09:23Well, if you stayed, Mum, you could help us kit it out.
09:26You know, all the nice little touches.
09:27You start talking curtains and lampshades, I'm off down the pub.
09:30Go on, then.
09:31Leave us to it.
09:32Girls together, eh?
09:34I'll see you later.
09:35Laters.
09:41What's up?
09:42You're on pins, girl.
09:44It's your mum, not the queen you got round for lunch.
09:48Well, it's not you I'm worried about.
09:51I've...
09:52I've invited him and all, Bruno.
09:55Oh, love.
09:57If you're hoping for Epi ever after, it ain't gonna happen, chick.
10:01Meaning we're...
10:03We're two different people.
10:06Got our own lives to lead.
10:09Yeah, I know.
10:11I just wanted us to be together for a bit.
10:15You know, like a proper family.
10:18Never go swimming with bow-legged women.
10:20Or trust them.
10:25Or fall in love with them.
10:28Or introduce them to your dad.
10:30Look, drowning of your sorrows I can help you with,
10:32but my agony aunt routine's pretty limited, as you know.
10:35Yeah, it looks like I'm gonna have to join the rank and file.
10:38Start earning my own spends.
10:40Heavy.
10:41Not if I'm the boss.
10:43Yeah, I'm thinking of starting my own business.
10:45If Gary Ryan can do it, any fool can.
10:47Are you OK?
10:51Yeah.
10:52Just, er, we was thinking of having a party.
10:55Is that it?
10:56Well, I thought I'd better ask you first.
10:58Will you come?
10:59Cos then you can keep an eye on things.
11:01When is it?
11:03Tonight.
11:08Like it?
11:10Why aren't you in Malaga?
11:11What's going on?
11:12Did you lie to me?
11:14No, I didn't.
11:15I just...
11:16Changed my mind.
11:18Look, I don't know why, but...
11:20At the last minute, something just stopped me getting on that plane.
11:23What, the thought of how much more money you can screw out of me?
11:26No.
11:28We've got two cracking kids there.
11:30We've got to do right by them.
11:32What do you call all this?
11:34Ta-da!
11:36I'll just leave you to it then, yeah?
11:38Thanks, love.
11:40Oh, Yasmin.
11:40The boost of the party.
11:44Put on my account of Willoughby's in the village.
11:47Oh, cheers, Bruno.
11:49Nice one.
11:56I've asked for nothing from you all these years.
11:59Kept your secrets.
12:00Why would I blow that now?
12:04Trust me.
12:06But we've got unfinished business, me and you.
12:09And I'm not talking down the bank.
12:11I'm going to start my own empire from scratch.
12:24Stuff the old man.
12:25I'm going to be so successful and so rich, it'll make your head spin.
12:29What are you going to call it?
12:30This company.
12:31I don't know.
12:33And what are you going to do, exactly?
12:35I don't know.
12:35All this, it's down to Yasmin, bless her.
12:46I swear, I never had a clue.
12:50Don't worry.
12:52I'll sign the divorce papers.
12:56It's funny, ain't it?
12:57After all that's happened,
13:00you're still my first.
13:02Still the father of my kids.
13:05I've never stopped thinking about you.
13:11It was hard.
13:16First words.
13:18First steps.
13:20First day at school.
13:22No one to share it with.
13:26I'm sorry.
13:30Especially when I kept seeing your face in the papers.
13:32I was so proud of you.
13:35I wanted you to be proud of them.
13:42We would have ended up killing each other.
13:45You remember when you threw curry all over me?
13:49Chicken biryani.
13:51Thank Christ, it wasn't a vindaloo.
13:56It's worth going hungry.
13:57I had a lot more fun cleaning it up.
14:01I had a lot more fun cleaning it up.
14:01I had a lot more fun cleaning it up.
14:01I had a lot more fun cleaning.
14:02I had a lot of fun cleaning.
14:22I had a lot of fun cleaning.
14:23It was a hard time.
14:24Oh, fuck!
14:45Shut up!
14:47So, Nobhead registered for the booze. Want me to sort it?
14:55So you can disappear for a week and mash yourself up?
14:58Anyway, he never gave me cash. It's on his tab at the offie.
15:01Hey, watch it, loser!
15:03I'm sorry, mate. I'm...
15:05Hey, don't you play for my dad's team?
15:07The Faisal's parking sports, yeah.
15:09Oliver Ryan. Gary's my dad.
15:11Subweb. You know, Roger Webbson.
15:13The manager. Ah, nice to meet you.
15:15We're having a party. Do you want to come?
15:17Be any nice ladies there?
15:19Yeah, loads. Who? Chanel?
15:21No. And you'd better not have told any of them dickheads off the estate.
15:25They're any mates?
15:26No way, Rhys. They trashed the place. Sack them.
15:32But there is someone I did forget to invite.
15:35Mummy, I want a picnic.
15:38We can eat it on the way, sweetheart. I want to get to Granny's before it gets dark.
15:42PHONE RINGS
15:45Hello?
15:46It's Yasmin. You at home?
15:49No. Why?
15:50Cos I've got my mum here. And she wants to meet you.
15:53When?
15:55Tonight. Round ours.
16:01Come on, baby. In you get. Change of plan.
16:04Well, the training's paid off. I'll say that. Big improvement on your technique.
16:12We aim to please.
16:14Here, give us a hand.
16:16Let's get it.
16:19This was a one-off, Jo. For old time's sake.
16:23It's not... well, it's not the start of something, yeah?
16:26Hm. Never is.
16:30Gave up expecting all that long time ago.
16:39For you.
16:40Oh, my God.
16:53Why don't you always carry a big rock round with you in case you get lucky?
16:56I thought I'd be seeing you again pretty soon.
17:01You missed out by then.
17:03So I want you to have one now.
17:04What, something to remember you by?
17:15It's gorgeous.
17:19You're still very beautiful, you know?
17:24What, for a single mum off a shit estate who's been washing her hair in fairy liquid the last ten years?
17:29There's someone out there for you. That's all I meant.
17:32Who says I'm looking?
17:34It must have been Oliver.
17:46Can't say I blame him.
17:49Keep your big fat nose out of it.
17:52Excuse me?
17:53I've known Gary and Oliver for nearly 20 years.
17:56Man and boy, eh?
17:57You'd know all about that.
17:59Reckon you can get your hands on whatever you want, don't you?
18:01With your jiggy little tits and your jiggy little arse.
18:04Yeah?
18:05Your throat if you don't shut up.
18:08He only keeps you one out of pity.
18:11I'll be here long after you've bitten the dust.
18:13And the one after you.
18:14And the one after her.
18:15Don't mind slumming it if there's decent eye candy.
18:25Hey, maybe Ryan Inc. should be an events company.
18:28You know, I've got the context book and parties.
18:31I could write you the A to Z.
18:33Make it a members club.
18:34A strictly A-list.
18:35They'll be begging to join.
18:37Jude and Sienna.
18:38Kate.
18:39Jade.
18:40Of course.
18:41Not, um...
18:42You know, the one from Big Brother.
18:47So.
18:48Enjoying your own guy?
18:49It's quality.
18:50Yaz has been well busy on it.
18:51You know, all that girl stuff.
18:53What about the boys stuff?
18:54Like paying the rent?
18:56Eh?
18:57What?
18:58Thought I'd give you a free ride?
19:00Wrong.
19:01You're gonna have to find yourself a job.
19:03Like what?
19:04Keeps like this don't come cheap.
19:05I ain't got no exams or nothing.
19:06No excuse.
19:07Neither have I.
19:08Doesn't matter anyway.
19:09Got something lined up for you.
19:10What?
19:13Nabokov's Cocoon.
19:15Itching Porter.
19:16Starting tomorrow.
19:31Got your breath back?
19:33Never lost it.
19:35It was you doing all the huffing and puffing.
19:36Just, er, show my appreciation.
19:40You can show me again if you want.
19:44And get me another glass of champagne.
19:45And we should have our own privilege card.
19:46You know, VIP access at Wimbledon, Ascot, Henley.
19:50We'll be millionaires by the time we're 30.
19:51What's going on?
19:52Welcome home party.
19:53Welcome home party.
19:54This is Lucy Mum.
19:55And this is Lucy Mum.
19:56This is Lucy Mum.
19:57And this is Lucy Mum.
19:58And this is my mum Jolie.
19:59Where's Angelica?
20:00At home.
20:01At home.
20:02I thought you were at your parents.
20:03I'm a late addition to Yasmin's guest list.
20:04I'm a late addition to Yasmin's guest list.
20:05I'm a late addition to Yasmin's guest list.
20:06I'm a late addition to Yasmin's guest list.
20:07What's going on?
20:08I'm one with 30.
20:09I'm one with 30.
20:10I'm one with 30, huh?
20:13What's going on?
20:14Welcome home party.
20:21This is Lucy Mum.
20:22And this is my mum Jolie.
20:23Where's Angelica?
20:24At home.
20:25I thought you were your parents.
20:26I'm a late addition to Yasmin's guest list.
20:32Let me get you a drink, yeah?
20:35I'm driving.
20:36So, let's get out of this place.
20:37So, Jolie, I've heard so much about you.
20:42Lucy, my kids don't exactly sing your praises, but I speak as I find.
20:47Very good of you.
20:57I must have been mad to marry you once.
20:59But twice?
21:01No chance.
21:07You stupid little cow.
21:10Thought you'd try and stir things up, did you?
21:11What the hell are you done?
21:27Listen, pal.
21:28Your dad might own this club, but this is my kitchen.
21:31Seems like we've got some catching up to do, too.
21:34You've been a busy girl.
21:39Someone might see.
21:41That's half the fun.
21:42We have time.
21:47This is it.
21:49This is it.
21:52This is it.
22:03This is it.
22:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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