What are parasocial relationships?

Brut America

The feeling when you think you're friends with your favorite celebrity, influencer, or even TV character ... it has a name: parasocial relationships. Are you in one?

Transcript

00:00Oh, Phoebe Bridgers isn't going to be your best friend someday.

00:03This is what's wrong with parasocial relationships.

00:05Parasocial relationships are unhealthy.

00:06I don't give a pair of f**ks.

00:09This is my best friend.

00:12If you know a lot about a stranger, it gives you the illusion that they know a lot about

00:20you as well.

00:21So for instance, if you learn a lot about someone through following them on TikTok or

00:25watching them on TV, you start to feel like you almost have a friendship with them.

00:31A parasocial relationship is a relationship that's illusory.

00:41It's something we can have with fictional characters, with celebrities, even with people

00:47on social media that we've never met, but follow, who might be influencers and that

00:53sort of thing.

00:54We can even have it with a puppet, like Kermit the Frog.

00:57Anyone that we have a one-sided relationship that's mediated, the other side of the relationship

01:04really is not returning our emotions or our knowledge of the relationship.

01:14It's just a continuation of from ancient times when we would form relationships with each other.

01:19If you think back to way before the thousands of years when we didn't have any sort of media,

01:28it makes a lot of sense.

01:30Everyone we came across, we could form a social relationship with.

01:34And so now we have this ability to see people in a mediated setting, but our brains haven't

01:42evolved to the point where we can differentiate between the fact that this is mediated and

01:48this is not.

01:50So it's a very natural thing for us to do.

01:53We've had just film and radio for about a hundred years.

02:00That's it.

02:02It's been popular mass media for such a short period of time compared to the rest of the

02:08time we've been on this earth.

02:10What you see, although real, is not a complete picture of me as a person.

02:18But if the only parts of me you know are the ones that I put on social media, if you got

02:24to know me in a real relationship, you would probably be disappointed.

02:28The online community tends to be a little uninhibited.

02:34People are sort of behind the mask of their computers and they're freer to say things

02:40they might filter a lot more if they were in person.

02:44People feel like they can say whatever comes into their minds in ways that are not obeying

02:52social norms to quite the same degree.

02:55You guys should view me as an entertainment outlet.

02:58You should not view me as a friend.

03:00The reason being is because I don't know you guys.

03:02I don't know the vast majority of my followers.

03:05Especially in this day and age where people are so available on social media, almost a

03:10sense of entitlement to that person's time and attention.

03:15Because in the person who has the parasocial relationships mind, the person is putting

03:22themselves out there.

03:23And since they have this relationship going with them, they don't really think about the

03:29fact that the other person doesn't know who they are and doesn't really owe them anything.

03:38They've been shown to be really good substitutes for social relationships.

03:44They actually sort of help our real life relationships because, you know, if I watch a show and you

03:50watch a show and we both love Character X or we both love Oprah Winfrey or whatever

03:58it is, we can have an interaction based around that shared love.

04:06So it enhances our relationship as well.

04:13Now that you can engage with your favorite creator in a way that feels really natural,

04:17I think people aren't doing the due diligence to remind themselves that it is not real.

04:21It is, but it's not.

04:24People who don't know don't realize they're getting overly involved, why they're doing

04:29it.

04:30They're just sort of going with it.

04:31I think the information is powerful and it also gives them an outlet where they can think

04:36about, okay, I need to step back, take a breath and maybe think about this in a little bit

04:44more of a reasonable way.

04:46Do I know this person?

04:48Do I need to care about this to the same degree?

04:51Are there other things going on in my life that maybe I should invest more time in instead?

04:56We need to be informed about why we're so passionate and then maybe take a deep breath

05:03and reevaluate where we're putting our energy in life.

Category

Transcript

Recommended