Corneil and Bernie Corneil and Bernie S02 E012 Basic Instinct

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00:00Chantez, lisez et écrivez

00:03Et surfez le nez toute la journée et toute la nuit

00:06Cornille, tu peux parler !

00:08Et beaucoup plus Bernie, mais gardez-le pour vous-même

00:10Si on laissait le chat sortir de la bague, tu serais une célèbre !

00:13Et tu voudrais guider un bateau

00:15Le secret va rester avec toi et moi !

00:18Regardez mes pieds, tchush !

00:19Ce n'est pas une blague, c'est tout ce qu'il a dit, il a dit

00:21Regardez mes pieds

00:23Ils ne devraient jamais entendre un mot

00:25En parlant d'un

00:26How absurd

00:34And then from this island here, we'll catch the trade winds and cruise back towards the mainland

00:40The call of the sea

00:42So what do you think of our sailing vacation Bernie ?

00:44Are you kidding ? It's gonna be awesome !

00:48Don't worry Cornille sweetie, you and Bernie will be right there along with us

00:53Vous et Bernie serez là-bas avec nous.

00:57Roulez, roulez, roulez votre bateau, doucement dans la rivière.

01:00Véril, véril, véril, véril, la vie est un rêve.

01:03Bernie, nous avons un petit problème. Je ne sais pas comment nager.

01:07Oh mon dieu, tous les chiens savent comment nager.

01:10Bernie, regarde mes pieds. Je ne peux pas nager.

01:15Alors quoi ? Ce n'est pas la fin du monde.

01:17Tu peux juste rester sur le bateau pendant que je vais nager.

01:21Mais Bernie, qu'est-ce si je tombe sur le bateau ?

01:24Je vais te nager, problème résolu.

01:26Je dois y retourner.

01:27Au revoir.

01:28Mais tu ne me verras pas.

01:29Qu'est-ce si je m'éloigne de l'électricité ?

01:32Qu'est-ce si je...

01:35Je vois qu'il n'y a qu'une seule façon d'obtenir une paix sur cette voyage.

01:40C'est un cinch.

01:41Vous vous étendez les pieds devant vous,

01:43puis vous les retirez,

01:45puis vous tapez vos jambes comme un fantôme.

01:47Comme ça.

01:49Je dois vous rappeler, Bernie, que je suis un chien.

01:52Les chiens ne nagent pas comme les humains.

01:54Ah, c'est vrai.

01:56C'est même plus facile.

01:58C'est parti !

01:59Bernie !

02:01Attends !

02:03Qu'est-ce qu'il y a ?

02:04Comment l'eau est-elle froide ?

02:06Je pourrais mourir ici.

02:08C'est la température de la chambre, Cornille. Relaxe-toi.

02:10C'est parti.

02:113, 2, 1...

02:15Splashdown !

02:17I'm drowning !

02:19I'm drowning !

02:21Pull me up, Bernie !

02:23Pull me up !

02:26Well, Jacques Cousteau, you're not.

02:31Bernie, there's only one choice.

02:33You and I will just have to stay home from the cruise.

02:36Are you nuts ?

02:37I don't want to stay home from the cruise.

02:39Of all the dogs in the world,

02:41I'd get to dogs if the one who doesn't have the natural instinct to swim !

02:45Bernie, that's it.

02:47It's tragic, but true.

02:50I've lost my basic canine instincts.

02:53Well, duh !

02:55Look how you live, Cornille.

02:57You're soft, you're pampered.

02:59There are humans who live more like dogs than you do.

03:01No wonder your instincts have gone down the tubes.

03:03Then, it's quite simple, Bernie.

03:05If I can recover my instincts,

03:07I'll naturally know how to swim.

03:11Oh, the question is...

03:13How ?

03:44Oh, hopeless !

03:50That's your territory, okay ?

03:52The first person to come near it, you chase away ! Got it ?

04:01Sick him, Cornille !

04:02But Bernie, the mailman's only doing his job.

04:05Come on, Cornille !

04:07Do you want to recover your instincts or not ?

04:09Now bark at him !

04:11Bark at him ?

04:13Bark at him, Cornille !

04:15Yes, bark !

04:18You know, like, beware of dog.

04:21Come on, show me how you can growl.

04:28Now do it again, louder !

04:32Oh, please !

04:34I said growl, like a tiger, a lion, a dog !

04:43Help, bad dog !

04:45Call him off !

04:47Yes, you scared him off !

04:49You found your canine instinct !

04:51We're going on a cruise !

04:59Well, I couldn't just leave the mail lying around, could I ?

05:02That's not how it works, Cornille !

05:04What kind of dog chases the mailman

05:06and delivers the mail ?

05:08You were so close !

05:11I'm sorry, Bernie, I just thought...

05:13Exactly ! Stop thinking !

05:15Dogs don't think !

05:17Get that into your head, okay ?

05:19Chapter 2, dog behavior in nature.

05:28Well, are you feeling instinctive yet ?

05:30What do you smell ?

05:34Oh, sorry, Bernie,

05:36that freshly mowed grass sets off my allergies.

05:39All right, this !

05:41Do you know what this is ?

05:43My guess would be the fourth metacarpal from a hoofed animal,

05:47most likely a cow.

05:49No, stupid, it's a bone !

05:52Look, I'm gonna bury it, and then you go dig it up !

05:55Don't look now !

06:01Okay !

06:03Don't you think that's a bit obvious ?

06:06How about now ?

06:11Yeah, you did it, Cornille !

06:13You did it !

06:16But I didn't mean to, Bernie.

06:18Exactly ! It's your canine instinct !

06:20It's Cecil, right here !

06:22So then, I'm a dog, like any other !

06:26Oh, thank you, Bernie !

06:28I could never have done it without you !

06:30Are you doing this on purpose ?

06:32Dogs bury bones !

06:35Two words, Cornille !

06:37Stupid ! Pathetic ! And useless !

06:39And you call yourself a dog ?

06:44Watch the next lesson, Bernie.

06:50Follow me.

06:54Follow me.

06:57Follow me.

07:05You see, Cornille ?

07:07Cornille !

07:09Yes, yes, Bernie, here I am !

07:11Look !

07:13Apollo, no !

07:15That's enough !

07:17It's a dog ! A real dog !

07:19And he's...

07:21Getting some exercise.

07:23No, he's hunting !

07:25Hunting !

07:27Oh, yes, of course !

07:29Okay, next lesson.

07:31Go chase that cat !

07:33Believe me, this time, you'll be right back there with your ancestors, the apes !

07:37Those will be your ancestors, Bernie, not mine.

07:39Yeah, yeah, whatever.

07:41And don't forget, Cornille, you're a killer !

07:46You really think that...

07:48It's right here, in the book !

07:50Well...

07:52If it's in the book...

07:55Just don't think about it, Cornille.

07:57Dogs don't think.

07:59You're a killer. A killer !

08:09Yeah, that's my dog !

08:11Pure canine instinct !

08:13I'm going on a cruise !

08:15The open sea !

08:17He's a real dog !

08:25Come on, Cornille ! Let's go !

08:27Pack our bags !

08:29Row, row, row your boat !

08:31Gently down the stream !

08:33Merrily, merrily, merrily...

08:35Bernie...

08:37It was just so small and defenseless.

08:39Try to teach him to be a real dog,

08:41and he makes friends with the enemy !

08:43Traitor ! Deserter !

08:45You're pathetic !

08:47John and Beth must be so proud of you !

08:49You're a basket case !

08:55Bernie !

08:57It just seemed the right thing to do !

08:59Oh, please !

09:01I can do it !

09:03Just give me another chance, please !

09:05Oh, please !

09:07Okay, one more chance !

09:09But only because I want to go on this cruise !

09:11Don't mess it up this time !

09:13I mean it !

09:16Well, go on !

09:19I can do it !

09:21I can do it !

09:33I warned you, Cornille !

09:35But it wasn't my fault, Bernie !

09:37And it won't be !

09:39It won't be !

09:41It won't be !

09:43It won't be !

09:45It won't be my fault if you fall off the boat and drown !

09:51Bernie !

09:57Help ! Oh, help !

09:59My dog sitter's drowning !

10:01What am I doing ?

10:163 ans auparavant

10:41C'était incroyable !

10:43Vous avez sauvé votre vie !

10:45Cornille, c'est tout !

10:47Tu es tombé dans l'eau, instinctivement !

10:49Quelle chance !

10:54Comment l'as-tu entraîné ?

10:56Tiens, prends-le !

10:59Cornille, je te promets, je ne sais plus comment nager !

11:02Bernie, tu es en sécurité !

11:04Selon les principes d'Archimédes,

11:06un corps immersé dans un liquide est éloigné par une force équivalente au poids du liquide déplacé.

11:11Je m'en occupe, tu vas nager tout seul !

11:13Tu es sûr ?

11:14Bien sûr !

11:19Aide-moi !

11:20Ça te fait penser que l'Archimédes a peut-être fait un erreur.

11:23Cornille !

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